Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170728

Thank you for joining me. [ cheers and applause ] on a Major International holiday. Today, in case you didnt know, and im pretty sure you didnt know, today is world emoji day. So i think i speak for all of us when i say thumbs up thumbs up champagne bottle party hat goats, right . [ laughter ] today is also the day we try to figure out what the hell happened on game of thrones. Did you watch the season premiere . A Record Number of people more than 16 people watched i was one of them. Never thought i would be so excited to see someone empty a bed pan. [ laughter ] but i was. I loved it. Even though i was confused. I had to have my son kevin explain a lot of it to me. Its like an adult version of Summer School for me. Whos the guy who sailed in on the black ship and proposed to cersei . That was euron greyjoy. Hes theons uncle. Oh, who is the prince that met with the enemy to try to bring down the queen that threatened his father . That was donald trump jr. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] too many characters to follow. I dont know if you heard the white house kicked off made in america week. This is a whole week dedicated to products made in the u. S. A. Which is funny that almost none of the products the the trump family sells are made in the usa. Donald trumps wife wasnt even made in the usa. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that didnt register, i guess. And didnt stop the president to tell everyone else to start making stuff. President trump who doesnt drink who believes alcohol killed his brother had his own brand of vodka made in holland. To tie it together we slow down his speech at the made in the usa event today for another edition of drunk donald trump. [ cheers and applause ] [ slowed down speech ] a lot of different states. Some states need this. Some states need that. But were getting it together and its its gonna happen. Right, mike . [ laughter ] right. I think. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hosting a show on qvc or something. The president was in paris over the weekend celebrating bastille day. He wasnt initially interested in going there but then he heard theres a place in france where the naked ladies dance and he fired up the jet. [ laughter ] the president was in paris as the guest of french president emmanuel macron, with whom he had a famously combative handshake back in may. You remember that handshake . This time around not only did they wrestle for some symbolic dominance their handshake went on and on and on. It lasted 17 seconds. Ive had sex that didnt last as long as this handshake. [ applause ] its a lot of padding, a lot of holding. That by the way and its still happening. Was not the longest handshake of the trip. This handshake, this is a marathon. Okay. So, theyre walking. This is the moment you let go. But no, its [ laughter ] at certain point its not even a hand shake theyre straight up holding hands. Now macrons wife gets involved in the conversation. So trump gives her a little kiss. And then grabs her hand too. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and holds both of their hands for menage a trois is a french term. That is why that went on 28 seconds. Hes got to be careful. Vladimir putin will get jealous. Anyway. According to a new abc Washington Post poll president trumps Approval Rating is down to 36 . He has the lowest Approval Rating for a president six months into his term since 1947. When the demon chernobaugh from fantasia was president. 36 still seems high to me. Some of his supporters, they dont care what he does. He would have to eat a bucket of kentucky fried bald eagle and wipe his mouth on the Confederate Flag to go lower than 36 . But trump tweeted about it. Of course he didnt like it. He wrote the abc Washington Post poll, even though 40 is not bad at this time, was just about the most inaccurate poll around election. [ laughter ] thats good stuff. That poll is totally inaccurate and 40 isnt bad. [ laughter ] but he didnt get 40 . It was 36. [ applause ] you cant round up to 40. Its like telling your parents you got an fplus. [ laughter ] this was from wimbledon over the weekend. This is something ive not seen at a professional sporting event. So theres a guy in the crowd who is heckling Kim Clijsters. Shes the former number one player in the world. Hes heckling her during an invitational doubles match. So kim pulls guy out of the stands and this happens. Kim was asking where she should serve, wide or down the middle. And this young man suggested body serve. I think she might be getting Something White for him to wear. This isnt going to work. Kim, this isnt going to work. Theyre not going to get over the knees. [ laughter ] thats a man in a skirt trying to return Kim Clijsters serve. Its 2017, people. They cut him off when he tried to shower. But i like that. [ applause ] i like a fat guy in a dress. Call me crazy. Tonight on the bachelorette it was home town visit night. Rachel got a chance to meet the parents of the man she will eventually share a torn us weekly cover with. I love the home town date shows. Where else can you look at a real mom look someone in the eye and say yes i give you the blessing to marry my son even though you are dating even other men simultaneously . Of all the moms and dads rachel met tonight none was more colorful maybe in the history of this show than deans father. Deans dad, well, he wore his best purple turban for this event. Whats up, squad . Hi. Were waiting for king dean to show up. Wheres the table at . Why are we all on the floor . Because we dont have a table. Hi. My father was once a very traditional man. He has since converted to be a sikh of some sort. And i am suppressing every single emotion that im trying to feel, just keeping it down buried as far as it can go. Jimmy that is an embarrassed young man. He did not goat a rose tonight. Hell have plenty of time to work things out with his dad. They had a fight. The whole thing. I like the things with the show. I guess because of the success theyre having on hbo with the bachelorette producers theyve been trying new things. I have to say i give them two big thumbs up. I know i have to do things in the best interest of myself to get what i want at the end of this. I havent figured out when those walls will come down. If hes happy im happy. If not ill kill you. Im so sorry. Im so sorry that i have to do this. [ screaming ] [ cheers and applause ] and now we are down to the final three including peter, who i happened to pick to go the distance. Next week they go to the fantasy suites where their performance in bed will be evaluated by a panel of judges and then america will vote on who did it best. All very exciting, isnt it, guillermo . Do you watch this show . Guillermo no, jimmy. Jimmy i didnt think so. You did something fun over the weekend. Guillermo went to a big disney event. They do it every other year. Its called d23. To talk to a lot of disney stars. You got a lot of stars, right . Guillermo thats right, jimmy. Jimmy were going to have all that after the break. First i want to give you a sample of what youll see starring guillermo and Luke Skywalker himself mark hamill. Guillermo can you give me a spoil from the star wars movie . I can. Darth vader is my father. I know, its a shock. But its the truth. Guillermo oh, [ bleep ]. I didnt know that. He [ laughter ] jimmy so guillermo goes back to back with mark hamill, benedict cumberbatch, daisy ridley, tom holland and more. Well be right back. Dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by aflac. Dad kinda walked into my swing. Huh . Dont you mean dad kind of ruined our hawaii fund . I thud go to the thothpital. There goes the airfair. I dont think Health Insurance will cover all. Of that. Buth my fathe without that cash from aflac we might have to choose between hawaii or your face. Hawaii what . Haha. Hawaii you might have less coverage than you think. Visit aflac. Com and keep your lifestyle healthy. Aflac shop for your homeohls and get kohls cash for you get the perfect dorm room chair and get 10 kohls cash get a food network cookware set and get 30 kohls cash or a dyson vacuum and youll get 80 kohls cash this weekend at kohls. Do you remember when i took your [photo this morning . , [boy] yea [intern] im afraid i have some terrible news. You have. Bug eyes here come the bugs ahh bugs everywhere uh oh, this little buggy got a lasagna. Woman so this happened. Nikki picked up some limearitas and thats when we knew it was going to be one of those nights. We started hanging a disco ball but then the ball reminded ava of her sequined dress. Now we have two disco balls. Limearita. Make it a margarita moment. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the show. Billy crystal and chris bianco and comedian Casey James Salengo are on the way. First this weekend, disney had their biannual d23 expo, an event they hold in anaheim, the brightest stars from the disney marv and star wars universe gather to delight their fans. And our very own guillermo was there to interview the actors as only he can. And what way is that, guillermo . Grptd back to back. Jimmy thats right. Heres guillermo back to back at d23. Guillermo i have a very important question. Yes, sir. Guillermo if you were a disney princess, which one were you . Which one would i be . Guillermo yes. I want to wear a dress. I want to wear a wig. I want to wear lipstick. And i want to be belle. Guillermo ooh. Id like to be ariel. Guillermo ariel . The mermaid. I think id be a pretty goodlooking mermaid. Guillermo so you think a fish is sexy . You know, i wouldnt go that far. But i also wouldnt disagree with you either. Guillermo its okay if you have a fish thing. Its okay. Can you teach me to dot force . Everyone has the potential to become a jedi master. Guillermo so do i do joga, or what do i do . Jogas good. [ laughter ] jimmy im blindfolded. So im going to guess who is the next star that i interview. [ laughter ] sir, are you white . Yes. Guillermo chris evans. Nope. Guillermo hey, don cheadle. Yeah. Guillermo which one is the worst actor you ever act with . Do you remember when you and i did that thing . That scene that we did together. And i had to slap you with the fish. Guillermo no, i dont like fish. Fish him up. Fish, fish, fish you were pretty bad. Guillermo wait a minute. Me . Guillermo okay. I have a joke for you. Oh, good. Guillermo knock knock. Whos there . Guillermo i. I who . Guillermo im your father. Do you understand the joke . [ laughter ] uh, kind of. Guillermo do you die in the movie . Uh, i dont know. I i i dont know. I hope not. Guillermo okay. If you blink, you die in the movie. Im going to watch you very close. Okay. [ laughter ] oh. Guillermo you died. Exclusivo. [ laughter ] guillermo you want to play dolls with me . Were going to pretend this is one of your movies. Who designed the crotch of your action figure . Guillermo my wife. [ laughter ] guillermo were going to reenact a scene from the movie. Okay . Okay. Guillermo youre so beautiful. Thank you so much. Guillermo ive been waiting for this moment. No, no. Mary poppins doesnt make out with people. No . She doesnt make out with people. Guillermo she does in this movie. She doesnt. Guillermo in the mexican movie she does. [ laughter ] guillermo you go first because youre in the movie. Why have you come to my island . Guillermo oh, to have lunch with you. Did you book in advance . Guillermo yes. I make a reservation two months ago. Excellent. Hey, guillermo. How are you . Guillermo im doing great, mr. Coo cuckoo. No. Thats not my name. My names dr. Steven strange. Guillermo hi, mr. Doctor steven strange just call me doctor. Guillermo okay. Mr. Doctor. Just doctor. Guillermo all right, mr. Doctor. Whatever. I like this little head rub wuf got going on right now. Guillermo this is a great massage. Oh, my god. I cant believe im close to spiderman. I cant believe im rubbing heads with guillermo. Im going to need someone to tell jokes for a few days. Guillermo i can tell you a joke if you want to. Tell me a joke, man. Guillermo four mexicans in a car. Whos driving . One of the mexicans. Guillermo no. The police. [ laughter ] guillermo do you want a backtoback snack . That sounds crazy. But i guess im here, right . Grptd ye guillermo yeah. Plus you look a little hungry. And you take a bite. [ laughter ] this is back to back. Snack. This is worse than i thought it was going to be. [ laughter ] guillermo in america we call it corn dog. Mm. Thats very nice. Guillermo is it good . Yeah, its nice. You have the rest. Guillermo did you get some hot dog . I got some. Guillermo you want a little more . Im good. Guillermo try it. Its good. No, no. Guillermo its glutenfree. Right. Guillermo and this is an exit survey. Got it. Guillermo 1 to 5. How many stars do i get for good questions . 5. Guillermo 5. Good job. How was my good questions . 2. Guillermo what . Why only 2 . Because there were only two i really understood. Guillermo what about my volume . Your bolume . Guillermo yeah. How many stars do i get for my bolume . Im going to give you a 3. I could hear you. But it wasnt anything too projected. It was fine. Guillermo what about my smell . You smelled delicious. You smelled like happiness and pico degallo. [ laughter ] a 4. Guillermo and my sexiness . Id say a 15. Guillermo wow. Good. Great job. Yeah. Guillermo are you hitting on me . And can i give you a kiss . Backtoback kiss . Oh, my god. Its so impossible, huh . Guillermo what about my sexiness . I could only see you from behind. But i like what i saw. [ laughter ] ill give you a 5 on that one too. Guillermo oh, wow. Thank you very much. Thank you, you cutie patootie. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thank you, guillermo. We have a great show tonight. Comedian Casey James Salengo is with us. Chef chris bianco is here. Hes going to teach you how to make pizza. And well be right back with Billy Crystal. [ cheers and applause ] as savin0 when you switch to progressive. Winds stirring. Too treacherous for a selfie. [ camera shutter clicks ] sure, ive taken discounts to new heights with safe driver and paperless billing. But the prize at the top is worth every last breath. Here we go. [ grunts ] got em. Ahh. Wait a minute. Whole wheat waffles . [ crying ] why wait a minute. Whole wheat waffles . We, the people, are tired of being surprised with extra monthly fees. We want hd. And every box and dvr. All included. Because we dont like surprises. Yeah. Like changing up the celebrity at the end to someone more handsome. And talented. Really. And british. Switch from cable to directv. Get an all included package for 25 a month. And for a limited time, get a 100 reward card. Call 1800directv. were proud to reveal that jim beam black has been awarded the worlds highest rated bourbon. Their words, not ours. Make history. make history. [ intense music playing ] ] its here, but its going by fast. The opportunity of the year is back the mercedesbenz summer event. Get to your dealer today for incredible onceaseason offers, and start firing up those grilles. Lease the gle350 for 579 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy what time do you get up in the morning . I get up around 6 00. Jimmy why would you get up that early if youre retired . I like to get her going. Jimmy there you go. The Energy Conscious whopeople among usle . Say small actions can add up to something. Humongous. A little thing here. A little thing there. Starts to feel like a badge maybe millions can wear. Who are all these caretakers, advocates too . Turns out, its californians its me and its you. Dont stop now, its easy to add to the routine. Join Energy Upgrade california and do your thing. Maker in the country. A great chef, and now an author too. His first book is called bianco pizza, pasta and other food i like. Chris bianco is here from phoenix, arizona. [ cheers and applause ] he will show you how to make a pizza at home in your oven, and your life will never be the same. You will become very very fat as a result of watching the show tonight. Then, hes got his own special on Comedy Central this fall, comedian Casey James Salengo is here. [ cheers and applause ] and tomorrow night we have a fun show. Caitlyn jenner will be with us. Finn wittrock will join us, and well have music from brett young. So please join us then. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is an emmy and Tony Awardwinning performer, the Gold Standard for oscars hosts and one of the funniest people ever, please say hello to Billy Crystal. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you. We broke the record. Jimmy we beat it. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. Its good to see you. By the way, im glad to see you feeling well. Because you were supposed to be here last month. The weirdest injury ever. Jimmy is what you told me true . Totally true. Jimmy what happened . So explain in. Okay. So its the night before the show. So its around 9 30, which is already now past my bedtime. Jimmy okay. Im in that position that a lot of you younger people find your parents in, around 8 30. Im in a position only like a Cirque Du Soleil person or a jellyfish could be in in a chair and im like that. [ laughter ] it looks like a mob hit. And out of the blue, jimmy, i sneeze. Jimmy uhhuh. But a violent sneeze. Folks, if it was a cartoon, my arms are flying off my body, my eyes are coming out of my head, people in the room are now naked because it blew their clothes off. [ laughter ] i went oh, that hurt a little bit. Now i fall asleep. Two hours later i wake up i cant breathe. But its like terrible. Painful. [ gasping ] that thing. I couldnt catch my breath. I sound like a kid caught in a lie around 6 years old. [ laughter ] i really didnt take the money and this is how the hawaiian language was created. Jimmy i didnt know that. [ laughter ] the little kid crying is the hawn language. So what i did, i tore a rib muscle. Jimmy from sneezing . From sneezing. And i literally could not breathe. Its not an injury you want to brag about. Jimmy no, yeah, yeah. I didnt rescue a woman out of a burning car. I didnt catch an orphan falling out of a burning jimmy not even close to any of those things. I sneezed. Jimmy did you have a cold or allergies . No, i have really bad allergies and this is a really bad time for it. But it came out of the blue. Usually i can brace myself because i know whats coming. Jimmy really . Yeah. But theyre dangerous. [ laughter ] no, its true. The great baseball player sammy sosa sneezed so violently he was with the chicago cubs. Hit 60 home runs three times. [ applause ] enough. He sneezed so violently he missed 2 1 2 months of his season. Jimmy i remember that. But i thought that was a lie. No, take a look. This is sammy before the sneeze. Jimmy there he is. All right. And this is sammy after the sneeze. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy a hat landed on him. That is a bad sneeze. I dont even know what 20 say about this. Jimmy i dont know either. This was on the internet yesterday. Jimmy you found this . Did he go to a party as a penis . I dont know. [ laughter ] what is that . Jimmy i have no idea. I dont know. Is he dancing professionally now . I dont know. And under what name . Jimmy im going to find out and get the answer to you. Because thats the sort of thing that i do. Well i hope youre okay and i hope it doesnt happen again. No it does. It will happen again. Jimmy it will happen . It actually just happened right before we came on. Jimmy you got the pain again . We have these beards. Do you color your beard . Jimmy no. Come on. Jimmy no i dont. You have that pavarotti look. Jimmy its white. How coy color just wait. So they put i had these two black areas so i looked like a mannequin. I looked like i had a puppeteers mouth. Hi, how are you . How are you . [ laughter ] one of those guys. So they took a silver magic marker and colored the two areas of black. Jimmy who did this to you . The makeup people. Jimmy okay. And the smell of the magic marker, first of all, i smelled like a science project. [ laughter ] and then id just finished sneezing. Thats why im a little hoarse. I go all the time. Since i was a kid. Jimmy you got a lot of weird stuff going on. You really do. Yeah, im allergic to different kinds of chocolate. Jimmy actual chocolate, really . Yeah. Jimmy thats something you can be allergic to . One doctor said it was like a chemical reaction, it wasnt an allergy. But this started when i was a little kid. Jimmy really . Yeah. Histamines would hit me and my neck gets red. My ears get red. And then i once sneezed 58 times before my nose started to bleed. [ laughter ] jimmy can i just Say Something . All i want to do is see you eat some chocolate now. I know, because the chef is here. So im in college. My freshman year in college. Marshall university in West Virginia. And my roommate im 17. My roommates 27. Jimmy why . You werent in college. You were abducted is what happened. [ laughter ] i felt like i was sharing a room with my uncle. Jimmy yeah. We were getting to know each other. I said, you know, and a weird thing, im allergic to different kinds of chocolate. I can sneeze more than 50 times. He goes, really . Lets make some money. [ laughter ] so he puts up signs, come see him sneeze, 5 a head, bet he could sneeze more than 50 times. So were in the rec room and he puts a chair in the middle of the room and all of these guys from West Virginia and pen person mostly athletes, come in, 5 in a hat, and im just sitting there. And i eat two big bars, the big bars of dark chocolate. Jimmy okay. And im just sitting there. And i know whats going to happen. And about eight minutes later this guy from ohio goes, hey, his ears is getting read. [ laughter ] and then it started. And when i sneeze its an orgasmic, wild aaah its that. And they all go, one. [ laughter ] i get up to 20. Im flying. My roommates going who has 5 more . Lets get him to 30. Who thinks he cant get to 30 . Ah im flying out of the chair. So finally we get to 63 sneezes. Jimmy oh, my god. Thats torture. Yeah. And then a little blood happened. I made 250. So then two days later im walking on campus. And i was a lonely little kid from long island. And this zbt guy comes over in his blazer and his zbt frat pin, you know, going to start pledging fraternities. He goes, you billy . I said yeah. Were having a smoker on friday night. Would you come over and sneeze . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy and a career in show business was born. Wow. Yeah. Jimmy you know, people complain about the internet now, but before youtube wed have to watch a guy sneeze all night. I know. Its embarrassing too. Jimmy speaking of embarrassing, when we come back i have a clip from your past that id like to share with you. Its well, youll see. Billy crystal is here with us. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment . If you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace the chance of completely clear skin with taltz. Taltz is proven to give you a chance at completely clear skin. With taltz, up to 90 of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. In fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin. Do not use if you are allergic to taltz. 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I think i did it four times. And i hosted it. Jimmy you hosted it. With howard. Jimmy with howard cosell. Thats awesome. Did you host it as howard with howard . I hosted with him and did some sketches as him. Because i used to do him. Jimmy and he liked that . He loved it. Heres a guy who was at the top of his game. He was the greatest sportscaster ever. We still miss his voice. This is the guy who gave us things, jimmy, like frazier cant see frazier cant see. Eddie futch is coming into the ring. Theyre stopping the fight here in manila. And now hes reduced to saying heres Adrienne Barbeau and her succulent lower lip. [ laughter ] jimmy could be worse. Yeah could be worse. So i did a bunch of them. I was on an abc show called soap. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you played jody on soap. Jody dallas. This was 1977. This was the first openly gay character on network television. Jimmy right. This is 40 years ago. So abc had me doing everything they could. It was called the billys not really gay tour. Jimmy they wanted people know so i host aid show with the dallas cowboy cheerleaders. I hosted a this. Jimmy is this part of that tour . Is it still going on . No, im done. [ laughter ] jimmy oh, all right. So. Jimmy so we have a click of an Obstacle Course, its you against david letterman. [ cheers and applause ] let me just set this up. The year before in the Obstacle Course theres one section where you have to crawl underneath all of these wires, like a marine thing. Till you get its like 20 yards of it. Right . So i put my head up too soon, and i caught my lip on this thing the year before. O and it bothered me for a year just like damn. Jimmy you wanted to win. I wanted to win. This is the year after. So now im against letterman, who was then on the Mary Tyler Moore show. He was a cbser. We have this. Hes a good athlete. This will be his opponent, dave letterman. The thing about Billy Crystal is weve talked this over. Its all rhythm. You get off to a bad start on the Obstacle Course and youre in trouble. Hes up this time. Hes going good. Handling it. Handling the tires nicely. Yeah. Letterman seems to be gaining on the monkey bars. Now over the wall. He handled that very well. On the rope. Over the water pit. Billy crystal [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] hey, letterman. Letterman. If youre watching this, shave the beard and lets do it again. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy Billy Crystal, everybody. Well be right back with chris bianco. [ cheers and applause ] get, get, shooo hey out out get, get, get arrrrrgh did you find everything okay, sir. . panting whaaaaat. . Have a good day, sir with my moderate to severe crohns disease,. I kept looking for ways to manage my symptoms. I thought i was doing okay. Then it hit me. Managing was all i was doing. When i told my doctor,. I learned humira is for people who still have symptoms of moderate to severe crohns disease. Even after trying other medications. 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Bug eyes here come the bugs ahh bugs everywhere uh oh, this little buggy got a lasagna. [ intense music playing ] ] its here, but its going by fast. The opportunity of the year is back the mercedesbenz summer event. Get to your dealer today for incredible onceaseason offers, and start firing up those grilles. Lease the e300 for 569 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy were back. Billy crystal is here. Many people, myself included, believe that our next guest makes the best pizza in the united states. Now he wants you to do it too. His firstever book is called bianco pizza, pasta and other food i like. Please welcome chris bianco. [ cheers and applause ] how are you guys doing . Whats happening . Nothing but the best. Jimmy i was just telling billy i have learned a lot about cooking from chris. And one of the things i learned, and i know this sounds ridiculous, but its to you know, if you have pizza taste the tomatoes. And see what the tomatoes youre going to put on the pizza. Almost like you go to the store, you buy a can of tomatoes you dont think about it. Youve got to consider the source. Rumors or tomatoes. Jimmy exactly. No fake news. Real news. Youre from france, right . East france. Make a left at the light. Jimmy do you recognize this right here . No. Jimmy thats wheat. Right, chris . Nas wheat. Thats it, man. Jimmy this is the stuff everyones so scared of. Its like a handful of deadly gluten. And the way they make flour is this. You put some wheat in a mill, and then the wheat gets ground up. And then actually, if i open this and dont turn it off, its going to be great. And then you can open this thing up. And look at that. Thats flour. [ applause ] normally you would turn it off. And thats how you make the flour thats at your house. Except for that doesnt belong in filip isnt that amazing, everyone . [ applause ] that was good. So what we decided to do jimmy chris told me dont do the flour thing, nobody cares. Thats from jimmys house, by the way. Well have the wheat field next show. Jimmy definitely. All right. So were going to make a pizza. All of the longest stories in the book. But here i just wanted to show you billys going to make the tomato sauce. And the tomato sauce is sucher simple. All weve got to do is squish them up. Beautiful tomatoes, we grow them up in northern california. Theyre organic. Delicious, fantastic. Would you explain what organic is to people . Seriously . Yeah. Organ sic seriously . You want that . [ laughter ] just pour it in. Its very technical. Thats why i had to make a book. This is what you got to do. Just grab them. Oh, really . Yeah. Its fantastic, isnt it . I love it. Your skin is going to be like a baby after that. Really . Yeah. Give them a little squish. While youre doing that im going to give it a little olive oil. Hs how you make mozzarella. You take the curd. You squish it out. Am i doing it right . Youre doing it right. Yeah youre doing it pretty good. [ laughter ] jimmy im doing it rightish. Okay. Sorry i made a mess. You know what . Okay. No, put it back in for one second. Jimmy all right. Get in there. This is nice. Now jimmy when you grab it, just grab it and squeeze it. Jimmy its about grabbing and squeezing . Really . It is. It is. While were doing that weve got mozzarella, tomatoes. Ive got dough aalready made but ill show you. All the measurements in the book. Two cups of water, about five cups jimmy nobody cares. [ laughter ] nobody cares, but if you did, you know. Yeast. Boom. Normally we let this set for about 20 minutes. Jimmy lets do it. Let it sit for 20 minutes, nightline. [ laughter ] going to check the oven. Jimmy what are you checking the oven for . This is something you do in your home oven. You can do one of those pizza steels. Thats the whole thing. Normally its like you know, if you dont live in napa and you have a mason from tuscany to come build your offven youre screwed. In this case you dont need it. Look at that oven. Its beautiful. Jimmy it is like its stolen out of someones apartment. [ laughter ] my god its beautiful. Now look at this. Jimmy its like a horror movie. Get out of the house [ laughter ] okay. This is some freshly milled fresh whole grain flour. This is a grain its called yocoro rojo. Its from up in skagit valley, washington. Whats the street value of that . [ laughter ] i tell you right now, this thing i tell you right now. [ laughter ] no, its a little here you go. I heard things. [ laughter ] jimmy you started with a wooden spoon . Im on five. Im trying ton get messy here. Jimmy im going to try ton eat this whole ball of cheese before youre done. Guillermo, you want some of this cheese . You have a little bit and tell me how you like that. I didnt wash my hands. Guillermo k. [ laughter ] what we normally do, like in the book i write nice and everything. But what im going to do as i leave it right here like its all together. See, jimmy . Because ive got to move some things around. Jimmy okay. All right. So, id add the salt, we normally measure but it would be its in the book. Youll see. [ laughter ] we mix it together. Sit there 20 minutes. We turn it out. Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba. Look at the mess. Jimmy im sorry i made a mess. Like a cow with a baby. [ laughter ] hold on we got to do this here. Jimmy okay. We should make a pizza to see how it looks. Jimmy yeah lets make a pizza what the hell else we going to do . [ laughter ] well make a pizza. Guillermo its just like tortillas or anything else. Flat. We got the dough. So pretending that like you can let that proof in there for three hours. That one this one here was like 24 hours. It sat. Jimmy okay. All weve got to do, its nice and its soft. This is like the hard its not the hardest part. But i think talking to people its the most intimidating. Jimmy you dont have to spin it over your head. This is interesting, right . Jimmy yeah. To me. Not to anybody else. [ laughter ] so you let gravity be your friend. Ba, ba, ba, ba. You dont have to make the noise. [ laughter ] it just helps me. The noise is fun, though. I know. So now its like making a bed in the guest room. Because in your own house you dont make your bed. Youre going to flop this down nice. One, two, three. Thats it. Jimmy three times, guillermo. Thats it. Jimmy now weve got to do it quick. Boom, boom, boom. Guillermo im hungry. Come on. [ laughter ] jimmy okay so now you put a little bit of sauce on there right . Little bit of sauce. Jimmy this is the sauce thats similar to what billy made but not exactly the same sauce. How come you didnt use mine . [ laughter ] the same thing. Hes right. [ cheers and applause ] hey youre right. I forgot. Thats all right. I dont put my hands in tomatoes for a lot of people. [ laughter ] hes thinking not for nothing. Good times. Got that. Boom. Plus the basil. Guillermo the gardener. Thank you brother. This is a little bit of reggiano. This is optional. A little bit of salinity. Salt. Fresh mozzarella. Boom. We could use this one jimmy had. Jimmy really what am i doing . Little bit of mozzarella cheese. And you dont got to make this at home. You dont have to grind the flour. Jimmy i thought the whole point was to make it at home. Im saying if your friends make it or the guy at the deli makes it or youve got a farmer that has a mill. Jimmy yeah. Like everybody does. [ laughter ] like everybody. And then this. Jimmy a little bit of olive oil. Should i put this in . Yeah, hold on. We got the other one in there. Ive got see whats up. What page would this be on . It looks good, jimmy. Hold on. Dont throw it in yet because weve got to get the other one out. Its cool. Jimmy get another one out. Ill put this one over here. Ill take this one out and put that one in there. All right, cool. Jimmy youre surprisingly ocd for a guy whos [ laughter ] look at that. Jimmy look at that. The basil. Wow. How hot was the oven . That was like in celsius in fahrenheit it was like hot. It was hot. It was like 500 degrees. How hot was the oven . Its hot. Its not that hot. Thats the thing. Its but its seriously like its hot. But seriously, we have a great wood burning oven. Thats a secret. The secret is its like always crap, in crap out. The ovens a tool. Jimmy the secret is guillermo gets some of the pizza. Is what the secret is. This is the book. Its all explained in here. Its called bianco pizza, pasta, and other food i like. Its available for preorder. Comes out july 25th. Chris bianco and Billy Crystal. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] strummed guitar you cant experience the Canadian Rockies through a screen. You have to be here, with us. Strummed guitar travel through this natural wonder and get a glimpse of amazing. With a glass of wine in one hand, and a camera in the other, aboard rocky mountaineer. Canadas Rocky Mountains await. Call your travel agent or rocky mountaineer for special offers now. Jimmy welcome back. A lot of fun. Well, unfortunately, we had to bump two people. Casey james salengo. We will reschedule him. Matt damon we will not reschedule him. [ laughter ] we are out of time for him. I want to thank you, Billy Crystal. Thank you, chris bianco for being here. Guillermo, youre always here, but thanks for being here anyway. Thats the book. Its chris bianco, bianco pizza, pasta and other food i like. Thanks for watching, everybody. Good night. [ cheers and applause ] tonight on the front lines in the war on isis. Strangers bonded together in battle. One american man. This isnt really a mission of vengeance. This is more like justice. His motivation carved into his bullets. Orlando, paris, san bernardino, man zblefrp wow. Look at that. One syrian woman fighting for her homeland. Both volunteering to pay the ultimate price in the killing fields of raqqa. Were moving forward. With the fighters of the ypg. They are the foot soldiers. Forward base. And the human toll. Children forced to grow up fast. Here death is never more than a few feet away. This is a special edition of nightline. War on isis retaking raqqa