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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170426

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Something to my wife on april fools day but then i thought, you know what, tricking her into marrying me was more than enough prank. [ laughter ] i guess what im trying to say is im growing up, i really am. Tonight from phoenix, arizona the Ncaa College Basketball championships. Two number one seeds, North Carolina versus gonzaga. Or gonzaga. Im not honestly sure which is correct. So i alternate them every time i say it. I say it differently. Im right at least half of the time. But Gonzaga University was founded in 1887. This is interesting. It was founded as a bet to see if students would want a diploma from a school that sounded like it was named after a monkey disease. [ laughter ] turns out they do. Actually, i did look it up today. I was curious. Gonzaga university is named after an italian saint, a young italian saint, aloysius gonzaga, who looked like a pretty tough dude. [ laughter ] not the guy you want to take on in a pickup game at the park. [ laughter ] he will dress you up. Meanwhile, a new season of Major League Baseball is under way. Last weekend i went to see a spring training game in arizona last weekend, the cubs played the indians. The cubs have a beautiful spring Training Facility in mesa, arizona. It really is amazing. And after the game this is the real reason i went. After the game i went into the cubs locker room with rick sutcliffe, theo epstein the general manager, anthony rizzo, and we all just took a long shower together, and it was so nice. [ laughter ] i got really clean. Thank you, rick, for [ cheers and applause ] spring training is great because its like halfway between major league and little league. Its very casual. This is from a spring training game between the Colorado Rockies and San Diego Padres where both teams really brought their bgame. Uhoh. Were getting a swarm on the field. Everybodys hitting the deck. The bees again . Oh, my gosh. Ive never seen that. Bees on the move apparently. Jimmy is that what youre supposed to do when there are bees . [ laughter ] meanwhile, it was opening day in boston today for the red sox. [ cheers ] Quarterback Tom Brady tom brady brought his recently recovered super bowl jersey to fenway park with him. The jersey as you probably know was stolen from the patriots locker room after the super bowl. And both the crowd and patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski were very excited to see it. Note were going off the rails on the crazy train [ laughter ] and then they made love. [ cheers and applause ] whats funny is they both got injured. Brady also threw out the first pitch today but his pal donald trump did not. President trump broke with baseball tradition, declining an invitation from the Washington Nationals to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. He didnt want to throw the first pitch. He wanted to throw the last pitch. First pitches are for losers. [ laughter ] but they said no. He did, however, throw out the first tweet this morning. At 7 21 a. M. He tweeted did Hillary Clinton ever apologize for receiving the answers to the debate . Just asking. This is what hes thinking about in the morning. Does he know hes not still running for president . [ laughter ] dude, shes not into you. Get over it. [ laughter ] the president is very upset right now because hes being currently being investigated by every branch of the government. Even the post office wants to know whos licking his stamps. [ laughter ] today donald trump sent his soninlaw jared not the one from subway. A different jared. [ laughter ] jared kushner, who of course is married to his daughter ivanka, went to iraq today, where he met with the iraqi prime minister. Which is strange. Because Jared Kushners a real estate developer. Hes 36 years old. He has no experience dealing with foreign governments. This is a guy who negotiates rent. I mean, this is his job is to figure out how much it will cost to put a Dunkin Donuts on the first floor of an office building. [ laughter ] Dennis Rodman has more Foreign Policy experience than jared kushner. [ cheers and applause ] for real. So you have to wonder why the president would send him to a military operation in iraq. And i thought about it. I was driving to work, i was thinking about it this morning, and i came up theres only one possible explanation. I think the president might be trying to kill him. [ laughter ] no, a lot of fathers dont get along with their soninlaws. If youre president , you can throw a black bag over his head and ship him off to iraq. Think about it. It makes sense. By the way, you think Donald Trumps real sons are jealous that jareds over in iraq meeting with the general while theyre off shooting koala bears and playing hackie sack with rolls of 50 bills . I mean, they have to be, right . [ laughter ] meanwhile, the white house today released the official portrait of the first lady, melania trump. This is the official portrait. It was i think she was photographed on the set of the wheel of fortune or something. [ laughter ] very strange. It looks like the jewel box cover for her starbucks cd. [ laughter ] or an ad for kay jewelers. Shes the only first lady to use a wind machine in her official portrait. Anyway, now there will at least be one melania in the white house. Hey, while were on the subject of robots, i mention this a couple weeks ago. [ laughter ] door dash. This is a food delivery service. Theyre testing out a new method of delivery that uses robots to bring you your food. Theyre offering it in california and washington, d. C. Right now. You use your app. You order food. And a robot in some cases will bring it right to you. It even acts surprised when you answer the door naked. Its an amazing technology. [ laughter ] goes right to your house. I was curious to see how this actually works. So we got in touch with doordash, and they brought the robot. In fact, lets welcome the ceo of doordash and his robot, tony su. [ cheers and applause ] tony . Thats the thats the one from the video. Thank you for coming, tony. This is very, very exciting. Yeah. Jimmy for gluttons like myself. I guess first i should ask, how high were you when you guys thought this up . [ laughter ] we were pretty levelheaded. Jimmy you were . Doordash is a technology company. So were always trying the latest and the greatest to make our deliveries faster and more efficient. Jimmy what did your employees say when you said guess what, guys, we now have a robot thats going to deliver the food. That couldnt have excited them. No, we were excited. Jimmy you were . Absolutely. Jimmy what about the drivers, though, unless they can can get in this theyre screwed. Well, this robot works with our drivers. It carries some of the shorter distance deliveries, the smaller orders. Jimmy so in a city like new york you might live three doors down from a restaurant, it brings it right to your place and you can eat. Thats exactly right. Jimmy okay. Now, could this like bring your kids to school if you dont want to get up early or Something Like that . [ laughter ] were working on burritos and pizzas and chicken wings first. But who knows what we can deliver next. Jimmy do you warn people that a robot is coming . Like do they know whats it doing, by the way . Whats going on . Its alive. Do you warn them . Because you could open the door and go like oh, my god, theres a robot here and potentially could scare people, especially in states where marijuana is legal. [ laughter ] well, it works just like any other doordash order. In the app it will let you know that a dasher is arriving. And in this case it will let you know that a robot is near you. Jimmy thats kind of alarming if you dont know whats happening. So were going to try this out. And what i would like to so i know usually you do it on the app, but weve kind of figured this out in advance. And what we would like i would like to order some a dozen wings. Okay. Jimmy hot wings. Lets do it. Jimmy hot. Does he have a name or anything . Not yet. But maybe after tonight he will. Jimmy can i look inside . Yeah. Absolutely. Jimmy i dont want to get bitten or anything. [ laughter ] absolutely. Jimmy ill look inside later. So robot, go get us some hot wings. Guillermo, you want anything . Cheese sticks. [ laughter ] jimmy he said cheese sticks. Okay. Good. Wings and cheese sticks. Go. And all right. So it will theoretically go get it. There it goes. Tony, you go with it in case anything terrible happens. Thank you very much, tony. Well see well send that outside and down the block. [ cheers and applause ] and then wow. Look at this. I mean, the future is here. And its fat is what it is. [ laughter ] were going to take a break. When we come back, robots with hot wings. All our dreams are coming true. So stick around. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] take on the mainstream. Introducing nissans new midnight edition. Get whatat olive garden. Ss new early dinner duos for just 8. 99. Choose from over 50 delicious combinations. And all the salad and breadsticks you want. From 35 monday through thursday. Hurry in, its early dinner duos. Only at olive garden. For all kinds of things. Like walking. Ewarded hey, honey. Dad, wheres the car . Thought wed walk. Hes counting steps. Walk, move and earn money. Goal dad. Hey, we wanna welcome everyone to the father daughter dance. Look at this dad, hes got some moves money you can use on outofpocket medical expenses. Hes ok, yeah unitedhealthcare 60 of women are wearing the w. Experience leaks. Introducing always my fit. Find the number thats right for your flow and panty size on the top of any always pack. The better the fit, the better it protects. Always. Jimmy welcome back. Chris evans, amanda peet, and music from mastodon is coming. Also weve got some chicken wings coming. Lets check in on that robot from doordash which is right down the street from us at hooters right now. Its going to hooters. Okay. Good. We got the order ready and everything. Yeah, just go i dont know. They cant hear me out there, can they . Okay. Thats how it works. You just put it right in there. By the way, this robot has now been touched by more women than the guys who invented it. [ laughter ] [ applause ] all right. And its coming back. Okay, good. What a great time to be alive. You know . In the 1700s they didnt have this, right . No, they didnt have this. Hey, heres another new technological development. Twitter has a new default profile image. I dont know if you noticed this. But you know how some when somebody doesnt bother to add their own photo to the account they have that egg picture. Well, the egg is now history. Twitter got rid of it. Apparently, they found that the egg had a negative connotation. People associate it with trolls and other agitators. So they decided to change it. The official statement from twitter was they made the move to encourage people to express themselves. Has twitter read twitter . [ laughter ] no ones having a problem expressing themselves. But they ditched the egg and they replaced it. This is what they replaced it with. Was something with they replaced the egg with a faceless stranger lurking behind you in shadows. [ laughter ] and now no one will ever be mean on the internet again. [ laughter ] hey, this is from the a zoo in grand rapids, michigan. This is why i have to say in a nutshell this is why my favorite animal is the chimpanzee. Oh, grandma. Jimmy oh, grandma. Thank god, grandma. The new planet of the apes movie looks awesome. [ laughter ] theres a new cyberthreat that is on the horizon. If you use apple mail this is something you should think about. A group of hackers is demanding 75,000 in ransom money from apple. They claim they have access to 300 million email addresses and theyre threatening to wipe those accounts if theyre not paid by april 7th, which is friday. Now, apple says they deny it. But these hackers, they go by the name turkish crime family. Which was one of my favorite childrens books, by the way. [ laughter ] but they actually say they want 75,000 cash but if not that they would also be willing to accept 100,000 worth of itunes gift cards. [ laughter ] i think i have that in my drawer. So thats not a problem. Why they want itunes gift cards i have no idea. If theyre technologically savvy enough to hack into apple and erase all the data youd think theyd be able to figure out how to download the new ed sheeran album for free. [ laughter ] [ applause ] but in any event apple how has a deadline on friday to meet the turkish crime familys demands. And if they dont they can whats happening . Greetings, jimmy kimmel. Or should i say james. Jimmy that is thats my full name, yeah. We know. We are the turkish crime family. We have access to all of your emails. We know everything, and thats going to cost you. Jimmy how much is it going to cost me . Give us 75,000 or we will wipe your inbox clean. Jimmy if i dont pay youre going to empty my inbox . Thats right. We the turkish crime family will purge your entire online correspondence from the very fabric of cyberspace. Jimmy oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, okay. Go ahead. [ laughter ] what . Jimmy youre saying youll make that little mail icon on my phone go from like 1500 to zero . Thats right. Unless you agree jimmy do that. Im fine with that. [ laughter ] i actually would love that, to be honest with you. What about all the emails from your family . Jimmy oh, delete those for sure. [ laughter ] invitations to parties . Jimmy delete those first. I dont want those at all. Think carefully, bigjimbo67 me. Com. If your email is wiped clean youll never get the chance to tell amazon you enjoyed the beechwoodscented candle you ordered. Ha ha ha jimmy i can live with that. Im fine with that. I really am. Damn it what about you, guillermo . 75,000, or your inbox is toast. I like toast. [ laughter ] come on be scared were scary were the turkish crime family jimmy yeah, you mentioned that a few times. I should have attacked steve harvey. Jimmy all right, well, thank you. A lot of spit. [ applause ] a lot of spit coming out of his mouth. Oh, hey, look at this. I didnt even see him. All right. And what do i do . Do i touch it or does it open on its own . Okay. All right. [ cheers and applause ] wow. Look at that. Wings. Yep. We got the cheese sticks, guillermo. She send him over with that . Here, bring those over to guillermo, will you . Wow. Look at that. Give him a tip, will you, on the way out . Thank you. I love you. Ill see you at home. [ applause ] this is great. Tonight on the show we have music from mastodon. Amanda peet is here. And well be right back with chris evans. [ cheers and applause ] we, the device loving people want more than just unlimited data. We want unlimited entertainment. So we can stream unlimited action. Watch unlimited robots. Watch unlimited romance. If you are into that. But we also want more like. Unlimited hbo. Can i stop dying now mark . No cant do mi amigo. Its unlimited. Besides you are really good at it james. Dont settle for any unlimited data plan. Only the at t unlimited plus plan comes with hbo included. Head right to theentic nearest subway. Introducing the italian hero footlong. Stacked with genoa salami, mortadella, and spicy capicola. Add oil and vinegar and some mediterranean oregano. There you have it. Its our better italian flavor, for a better subway. Its league night . saved money on motorcycle insurance with geico goin up the country. Bowl without me. Frank. im going to get nachos. Snack bars closed. Gah ah, ah ah. Im goin up the country, baby dont you wanna go . Im goin up the country, baby dont you wanna go . Geico motorcycle, great rates for great rides. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Tonight from brockmire on Ifc Amanda Peet is here. Then this is their new album. Its called emperor of sand. Mastodon from the mercedesbenz outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] there are two versions of this album. This is the coloring book version. Is it comes with a little box for real. Of colors pencils. In fact, i spent the whole day coloring it in. And this is what it looks like when youre done. [ applause ] im really good at coloring. You can see mastodon april 20th at the hollywood palladium. Tomorrow night Pierce Brosnan will be here, jenny slate will join us. And well have music from dustin lynch. And later this week, eric stonestreet, riz ahmed, Nathalie Emanuel from game of thrones, adam sandler, and well have music from starley and cold war kids. Our first guest tonight is the captain of america. He has a new movie that has nothing to do with any of that. It is called gifted. It opens in select theaters april 7th and everywhere april 21st. Please welcome chris evans. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you doing . How are you . Jimmy im doing well, thank you. Good, good, good. Jimmy are you a guy that on april fools day i thought i should do something. And i thought im not going to do anything. Do you do anything . No, i got away clean with april fools day. I never can think of anything too elaborate to do to people, and i dont necessarily care to be fooled myself. Jimmy do people try to do things to you . Ive been fooled before. Jimmy yeah . My parents got me good once. Jimmy thats fun when parents do things. You tell the story so many times you think its funny. The more you tell it the more you go this is really messed up. When i was 10, and im one of four, and my parents sat us down at dinner and told us we were all going to move to london. My father got transferred and were all going to move. We started bawling. Everyone was crying at dinner. And they kept it going. The whole dinner. Probably for at least an hour. Jimmy really . Yeah. Jimmy like did you go get passport photos . [ laughter ] i mean, we came around. Okay. We made peace with it. And they just said oh, its a big joke. Jimmy i mean, in a way its the reason you have kids, so you can torture them like that. [ laughter ] did you have a good april fools day . Jimmy every day was april fools day at my house. My mother used to lie on the ground and pretend to be dead. [ laughter ] until we cried. Not quite moving to london. Thats aggressive. Thats really aggressive. It takes commitment. Jimmy do you feel like that had any effect on your psyche, good or bad . No, no. I mean, my family is pretty loose. We always had a good time. And like i said, when you look back, youre like man, these guys had a good time being parents. Jimmy and eventually youll get your turn and youll do all that stuff. And somehow the laughter makes all the terror worth it. Congratulations because last time i saw you was before the super bowl. I know you love the patriots and you love tom brady. Who do you love more, the patriots or tom brady . Its tough. Its a tough thing. Jimmy because the patriots in and of themselves arent as handsome as tom brady. Few are. [ laughter ] i dont know, its tough. Toms up there. Jimmy hes up there. I love the patriots like any sports entity, but tom is a special man. Jimmy this is interesting. This is a video who shot this video . We went to the super bowl and i had a couple boston buddies. And renner. Jeremy renner was with us and it was one of renners buddies who had kind of seen me spike in enthusiasm throughout the game and chose to film the final seconds. I didnt know it was happening. Jimmy this is a game where the patriots are down what, 25 points . The most emotional game ive ever been a part of. Truly any one of you would have been a part of too. I dont care what sport youre into. Its the best game youve ever seen. Jimmy the game was unbelievable. Unless youre from atlanta. Then it was terrible. Jimmy but i hope if youre a sports fan you can at least appreciate jimmy no. Not if youre from atlanta. Theres never any appreciation. I know what it felt like at halftime. And to come back, it was too much. Jimmy lets look at this video because i want to ask one thing about it at the end. There you are. Really, there is a danger you might fall over that luxury box. Maybe the best thing about it is [ cheers and applause ] you were flipping out. Everybodys flipping out. But the guy who decided to film you does not seem to see any of whats happening on the field. Like he missed the end of the game. And god bless him because that video means so much to me. Jimmy yeah. If theyd lost would you have would that video have been released or would that have been buried . Tell you what. Had they lost at the end of the game i witnessed it would have been okay. Because like i said, by halftime you saw it, it was over. They were done. To come back the way they did. If they lost it in the end, so be it. The fact they won. Jimmy did you go to the party afterwards . I did. It was like a patriots after thing. Jimmy did you meet tom . Did you get to touch him . [ laughter ] because last time you were there i have yet to meet him. He didnt go to the he might have been an appearance. But hes tom brady. He had to go rule the world. I didnt meet tom. And im not sure if i want to. It almost has become now like i just want to let him be the thing that i imagine he is. And thats it. Thats good enough for me. Jimmy look at you. Youre positively glowing. [ laughter ] im like why, is he here . [ laughter ] jimmy see, tom could never that would never happen to tom. [ laughter ] tom makes me so nervous. Jimmy were going to clean you up. Were going to move you up inside and out. There you go. Wow, ive never seen anybody just sweat from their palms before. But chris evans is here. His movie is called gifted. Well be right back after this. [ cheers and applause ] toothbru. Better than a manual, and my hygienist says it does. But. Theyre not all the same. Turns out, theyre really. Different. Who knew . I had no idea. So, she said look for. One thats shaped like a dental tool with a round. Brush head. Go pro with oralb. Oralbs rounded brush head surrounds each tooth to. Gently remove more plaque and. Oralb crossaction is clinically proven to. Remove more plaque than sonicare diamondclean. My mouth feels so clean. 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Ohh, i love doing that. Health can change, but the life you love doesnt have to. Keep your lifestyle healthy with aflac at red lobsters lobsterfestime. Any of these 9 lobster dishes could be yours. So dont resist delicious new lobster mix and match or lobsterfest surf and turf because you wont have this chance for long. Yes, the fuel is complimentary for up to three years. Yes, it has an epaestimated range of 312 miles. Yes, you will probably have to answer lots of silly questions from strangers. Yes, this is a mindblowing marvel of technology. And, yes, you can buy it today because the future doesnt start next week, next month or next year. The future starts now. In the hydrogenfueled toyota mirai. I didnt want to go to this Stupid School in the first place. And the boy in the next row acts inappropriately for someone whos a child. Im sorry, im still passiveaggressively ignoring you. They dont have to answer questions, they dont get into trouble. You didnt get into trouble for answering questions. You yelled at the principal. You know what . Youre going to find this interesting. So i googled firstgraders and yell at the principal. Statistically, youre never going to believe how many kids do it. How many . None. Jimmy that is chris evans in gifted with well, tell us a little bit. Just give us a little overview of the story. Sure. The movies about mckenna grace mary, who plays a young gifted child. Im her without giving too much away im her uncle, im her guardian, trying to raise her as best i can as a normal child and my mother, her grandmother, finds out about her gift and it becomes a little bit of a custody battle. Jimmy okay. I never know what to say that will ruin it. This kid is very cute. Shes something. Jimmy a lot of these kid actors, though, are terrible in real life. Is she . [ laughter ] well, they say dont work with kids and animals. We have both in this movie. Im telling you, mckenna is something else. Youve got to find that balance of a girl who is still a kid, still has that wild freedom and extemporaneous personality but also knows this is a job and youve got to be professional. Jimmy right. She walks that line flawlessly. Shes something else. Jimmy how is making a movie like that different from making one of these big superhero movies . More than anything else its the pace. Those superhero movies youre lucky if you get two pages done in a day. Movies like this youre flying through it. Jimmy oh, really . Yeah. Jimmy obviously most people know you from captain america but you directed as well. Youve done smaller movies like this one, gifted. That is something youre looking to explore more roles like that . Yeah, yeah. I think, you know what im really looking for is one of those gritty oscarcaliber biopics where you really kind of lose yourself in a character. Jimmy i could see you doing that. Is there somebody you have in mind, somebody youd like to play . Its tough because all the best personalities have had movies made about them. So in my opinion i think what youve got to do is go out and find the person yourself and thats exactly what i did jimmy dig somebody up in a way. I found him. Jimmy oh, you did. I think hes here tonight. I think jimmy what do you mean . There he is. Right there. That guy. Jimmy which guy . No. Over there. Pink shirt. Yeah. Jimmy wait a minute. This is the guy that you want to play . Thats the guy. Thats the guy. Thats dennis. Me . Yeah. Im playing you, buddy. Jimmy whats your name . Dennis . Dennis. His name is dennis baker. Ive been following him around for about six weeks now. And i just you know, i really got inside. You have . [ laughter ] yep. Yep. I mean, its been a while now, but i know how dennis sleeps, how he eats. I just i think the more you lose yourself in a role the more they acknowledge it. So yeah, everything about you i know now. Have you been stalking me . [ laughter ] no. Ive been researching you, dennis. Jimmy it is different. For cinema. I knew youd be here. I read the emails. So as a treat i thought i would jimmy you read his emails . Well, of course. Jimmy, im committed. [ laughter ] jimmy thats very sweet. And i thought as a treat to everyone and mostly to dennis i brought the trailer. The trailer of the film were working on. Jimmy you made the movie already . [ cheers and applause ] weve been diving in. We have a nice snippet. Enough to show you guys. Jimmy id love to see it, yeah. Lets take a look. Critics and audiences have spoken. Chris evans delivers the performance of a generation, as dennis. A broken, pathetic shell of a man with nothing to live for. [ laughter ] a portrait of failure. A brutal, soulcrushing glimpse into an empty, wasted life. A man undeserving of love or human touch itself. Whats wrong . You have a bad penis. I know. I hate my penis a Tour De Force of tragedy. An orgy of sadness. An unbearable rock bottom despair. Dennis, are you eating cheeseburgers out of the toilet again . Its all i have chris evans is dennis. Its all i have. He sucks. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy wow. That was i have to hand it to you because that was that was a brave performance, id even say. Id go so far as to say. Thank you. Jimmy youre welcome. I have one question. Dennis, did you like it . Not really. [ laughter ] really . Can i ask why . You made me look like a goober. Jimmy you know what, dennis . Maybe be grateful that chris told this beautiful story about your life instead of criticizing every little thing he does. I kind of feel like youre being selfish, dennis. Jimmy thats how he is. Thats how dennis is. Dennis, do you want to apologize to chris . Im sorry, chris. Jimmy thank you very much. [ applause ] chris evans, everybody. Gifted in select theaters friday, everywhere april 21st. And look forward to dennis. Well be right back with amanda peet. 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Ima wade, ima wave through the waters tell the tide, dont move Freedom Freedom i cant move freedom, cut me loose Freedom Freedom where are you . Cause i need freedom too Freedom Freedom Freedom Freedom what you want from me . Is it truth you seek . Oh father can you hear meee. Ooow . Youre not taking these. Hey, hey, hey youre not taking those. Whoa, whoa youre not taking that. Come with me. Youre not taking that. Youre not taking that. Youre not taking that. Mom, im taking the subaru. Dont be late. Even when were not there to keep them safe, our Subaru Outback will be. vo love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Welcome to maxx you. You are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. You stand out in a crowd. And are pulled together. You follow your own lead and show your strength. Always comfortable in your own skin. We see what makes you unique. So we have something for everyone, at a price thats just right for you. Maxx you. Maxx life. T. J. Maxx jimmy welcome back. Still to come, music from mastodon. You know our next guest from numerous movies and now she makes a foray into the filthy world of television. Her very funny new series brockmire with hank azaria on ifc premieres wednesday night at 10 00. Please welcome amanda peet. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy very good to see you. Good to see you. Jimmy you i think we should talk about what is an elephant in our lives maybe first just to begin because theres a budding romance going on between my daughter and your son. Thats what i thought. Jimmy thats what you thought. Yeah. Thats what we thought too. But your son henry who my daughter how old is henry . 2 1 2 . Yeah. Almost. Jimmy and my daughters 2 1 2. And she calls him hen, which i thought she was referring to a chicken for a while. But they take swim classes together. First they took music classes. Jimmy okay. And thats i think when it started. Jimmy and then it started raining and it became a swim class. Same teacher. Jimmy very talented teacher. But they swim together, which is really kind of weird to start with talking about 2yearolds swimming together. They swim. They dont really swim. They kind of you know, they jimmy my daughter swims. Oh. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah. We call it swimming. Whatever it is. Whatever it is, she seems to be staying alive in the pool which is the key to thats all you want, right . Just dont die. Jimmy exactly. And so the other night you sent a very sweet video. You emailed it to me and to my wife. To your lovely wife, who i love. Jimmy in which your son said what exactly . He declared his love for jane. Jimmy for my daughter jane, yeah. He was in the bath singing. And i said henry, whos your girlfriend . And he said jane. Jimmy and then we made a video of jane, and she didnt necessarily return the sentiment. She was more interested in taking the phone and playing games on it. She was painting a dog or Something Like that. Yeah, so im sorry about that. Thats okay. Jimmy i would still like to see it work out i still decided to come. Jimmy you still decided to come. [ laughter ] and see you. Jimmy what goes on in this i dont feel like it has to affect our relationship. Jimmy no. It shouldnt. And in fact, your husband, as some people probably know, is one of the executive producers of game of thrones. And i saw this as a real [ cheers and applause ] i think first and foremost of myself. And so i saw this as an opportunity are you a clinical narcissist . Jimmy not clinical. Okay. Jimmy more of a hobbyist. Okay. Me too. Jimmy but i would like to see the episodes of the show before everyone else sees them so i can taunt them. And i thought wow, if our kids were to get married id probably get that. Do you get that . Do you get to see them beforehand . I dont, really. I see them as they come out. Jimmy oh, you do. Okay. So i wouldnt even get that. So the hell with it, then. [ laughter ] no, i mean jimmy do you care . Do you care as much as i do . Because i care very deeply about whats going on. Yes. Jimmy you do. Im pretty obsessed. And im very im in a state of anxiety about whats going to happen. Jimmy you are. About whats going to happen at the end. Im in a state of anxiety over whether david and dan are going to [ bleep ] it up. Jimmy oh, you are. They do have this big thing. How many episodes are coming up . I dont know. The finale. This is it. Jimmy you havent asked whats going to happen at the end . Of course ive asked. Then i say, dont tell me is it jon snow . But dont tell me. Jimmy will the white walkers take over everything . Right. Jimmy does the show turn into the walking dead but in the snow . All i know is that all the videos he sent home to us in the last little while for the kids, every it was very cold where he was. Jimmy i see. I could see his breath. I see your breath. I know winters coming. [ laughter ] i mean i know winters here. Jimmy winter finally came. And i know youre not near the beach anymore. So im starting to get it. Jimmy this show that youre doing, i saw this today. Its so funny. Hank azaria did this character three or four years ago. Its a baseball announcer. And he does a great rap with this baseball announcer, and you guys made it into a whole show. You play the owner of a minor League Baseball team. Would you say he has some form of is it tourettes syndrome or what exactly is wrong with him . Because he will go from calling balls and strikes, you know, groundball into to third base into a horrible story about his wife being involved in an orgy. Yes. I think he was really fascinated. He plays an oldtimey baseball announcer and he was really fascinated by whether this is how these men talk all the time. Jimmy uhhuh. So when theyre having sex with their wives, we had to do a sex scene where he was basically narrating the sex. Jimmy the sex, yeah. Unfortunately, i couldnt stop laughing during the take. Yeah. Jimmy what happened here . You brought a photograph thats disturbing. What happened in this shot here . This is a picture you took of yourself . So i had to shotgun a beer. Jimmy yes. And i was supposed to look at hank. And i decided i need to catch the beer with my left hand and shotgun it with my right. So you know, im not a lefty. But i was really cocky. So i wanted to do it all in one take. So i was practicing catching the catching it and doing i know ive only shotgunned a beer one other time. Jimmy well, it has to be a hole in the beer can to start with. I know thats why i was going to catch it with my left and stab it with my right. But i missed it. So thats actually the mark of a beer can. Jimmy and that is really like thats a terrible scar. I dont see any you had that stitched up afterwards . Yeah. Jimmy wow. And you know what david said when i was on the way to the hospital . Jimmy no. Did they get the shot . [ laughter ] jimmy thats spoken like a man whos freezing his ass off during the show. Well, the show is very funny. Check it out. Its called brockmire. It premieres this wednesday night at 10 00 on ifc. [ cheers and applause ] amanda peet, everyone. Thank you, amanda. Well be right back with mastodon. [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy i want to thank chris evans, amanda peet. Apologies to matt damon. We did run out of time. Nightline is next but first, their new record is called emperor of sand. Here with the song show yourself mastodon show yourself show yourself i want to see everything youre made of tear it down and rip it out shed your skin and float it down the river lose yourself lose yourself wild horses ride you through the valley come alive come alive sail into the void without your worries youre not as safe as far as i can tell and i can tell only you can save yourself yeah soon this will all be a distant memory or could this dream be real at all stars align stars align stars can fall and get you into trouble be afraid dont be afraid speak the ancient wisdom of the desert youre not as safe as far as i can tell and i can tell only you can save yourself yourself yeah soon this will all be a distant memory or could this dream be real at show yourself show yourself show yourself, show yourself i wanna see everything youre made of reveal yourself, reveal yourself the truth will send a ripple through your body as i can tell and i can tell only you can save yourself yeah soon this will all be a distant memory or could this dream be real at all show yourself, show yourself i wanna see everything youre made of reveal yourself, reveal yourself the truth will send a ripple through your body see your fate youll see your fate death will come and steal you from the living dead and gone dead and gone ill see you on the other side of fire [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight, option b. Shes famous for leaning in. Now Facebook Sheryl sandberg is redefining what it all means. Sharing the pain of her husbands sudden death. Sitting down with my 7yearold daughter and 10yearold son and telling them, youre never going to see your father again. The tech titan starting a new conversation about loss, living a life of resilience, and even daring to find joy. We judge people who date, particularly women, after their spouse has died. Plus, hes the hiphop jock of shock. He calls himself charlamagne tha god. But its what hes calling everyone else thats getting him attention. From kanye Kanye Kardashian in the building. To drake. You look like a thumb with eyebrows. I

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