Since youre so enthusiastic, i have a magic trick i learned. You want me to do it . You like magic . Because some people dont like it. All right. So i am going to say a phrase, a magic phrase. And you, all of you, involuntarily, whether you want to or not, whether you realize it or not, you will suddenly act like youre on a roller coaster. Are you ready . Okay. Ryan gosling is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] all right the ride is over the ride has come to a complete stop now. Ryan gosling was in the notebook, he was in drive. [ cheers and applause ] he was the star of a very confusing sex dream i had. [ laughter ] hes here with us tonight. Also tonight from the Comedy Office christmas party, t. J. Miller is here. [ cheers and applause ] pentatonix is here with us today too. I will say, though the big news today, Time Magazine has named their person of the year. Its none other than president elect donald trump. He is the person of the year. Which is a big deal because this might be one of our last years. [ laughter ] trump won in spite of losing in times online poll to hillary clinton. Can she win anything . She was the runnerup. Really, hillarys now just hoping to win a mug that says worlds best grandma. [ laughter ] [ applause ] person of the year, i do want to distinguish, because time does, it doesnt necessarily mean best person of the year, its just person of the year. Although dont tell donald trump that. He did interviews about this, funny to start, he said it was a very, very great honor and time is a very important magazine. I think hes more excited about this than being president , to be honest. Some of the people of the year include mahatma gandhi, joseph stalin, winston churchill, nixon, putin, obama, and hitler. So trump is definitely fitting in there, you decide where he fits in for yourself. The president elect, hes really come a long way from his first Time Magazine cover, an honor he received in 1989 where he was working as a magician in atlantic city. [ laughter ] isnt that something. So anyway, congratulations to donald trump. And to the photographer who got him to sit still and not tweet for 30 seconds. Thats the guy who should be person of the year this year. [ cheers and applause ] donald trump is currently traveling around the country on what has been billed as his thank you tour, holding rallies in some of the states he won. Last night in fayetteville, north carolina, where we slowed him down for a brandnew edition of drunk donald trump. [ tape playing slowly ] he led an assault battalion in operation desert storm. And you saw what that had what that was the way youre supposed to lead it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats exactly right. Hey, this is a subject im surprised donald trump hasnt gone off on yet. The Cleveland Cavaliers were in new york playing the knicks tonight. The team as they usually do booked rooms at the trump hotel in soho. But lebron james and a number of his teammates decided to stay elsewhere. They didnt want to stay at a trump hotel. Which i dont know if moving to another hotel is the best way to protest. Why not just stay at his hotel and steal all the towels from the room . [ laughter ] by the way, can you imagine how many tiny little soaps a man the size of lebron james must go through . Theyre probably saving money not having him there. [ laughter ] in boxing news, this is from a press conference this morning for a british heavyweight title match happening this weekend. The press conference that will go down in history as having perhaps the worst microphone placement of alltime. What im saying to you okay. You take a chill pill. Because what youre trying to say, after the fight [ laughter ] jimmy thats Time Magazines person of the year in 1938. Heres something for those of you who enjoy watching and drinking along with the bachelor, a new line of bachelorinspired wines. The bachelor wine collection is out. There are four varieties. All aptly named. They are one on one chardonnay. The fantasy suite cabernet. The final rose rose. And theres a rash on my pinot noir. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] its exciting. Now at long last you can get drunk and make the same terrible life choices as the actual contestants. [ laughter ] in addition by the way, theyre selling a new drink to keep you hydrated. Its not alcohol. Bachelor hot tub bottled water. Straight from the tub. Its stddelicious. Today abc revealed photos and bios of the women who will vie for bachelor nicks love this season. A total of 30 bachelor contestants were announced. In a surprise turn of events theyre all named jasmine. Every one. No only two of them are named jasmine. One of the contestants, alexis, her job is aspiring dolphin trainer. Yeah, my daughters an aspiring dolphin trainer too, shes 2 years old. [ laughter ] theres a Law School Graduate named lauren who im pretty sure is just olivia from last season in a fun new top. This is taylor, shes a Mental Health counselor. See, i think if youre looking for a husband on tv, you need a Mental Health counselor. [ laughter ] by far the most popular occupation among the women this season is nurse. Weve got briana. Seems like the primary requirement for being on the bachelor is ability to put a hand or two hands on your hips. Weve got britney oh, not on the hips. Maybe shell be out immediately. Is this danielle . I dont know, this is one of them. Whos the next one . Weve got britney, thats britney, shes a traveling nurse which im pretty sure means she takes vacations with older guys, right . [ laughter ] finally, we have josephine, who says shes an unemployed nurse. Who isnt really, if you think about it. [ laughter ] thats four nurses in one house. There are more nurses on the bachelor than greys anatomy this year. Abc also says, they tease us, saying one of the women has a big secret. And i dont want to be a spoiler but i happen to know what it is. She can read. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thats true. Its going to be an exciting year. How funny would it be if nick just looked through the pictures and said, nah, i dont know, i dont like any of them, lets get another batch. Starbucks today announced that they are planning to add 12,000 new locations, bringing their total number of stores to a zillion. [ laughter ] how is it possible . Starbucks has to be the most Successful Company ever that makes money selling you something you could easily make yourself if you just woke up five minutes earlier. [ laughter ] at the current rate of expansion, they say by the year 2030, every person in america will have their own personal starbucks store. Which should help them get your name spelled right on the cup, i guess. [ laughter ] at the same time, amazon is testing something called amazon go. This is a grocery store, a real store, not online. You dont have to check out, you dont have to wait in line to shop. Which i thought amazon already had a way for us to shop without waiting in line, it was called amazon. [ laughter ] but this is a market. They opened one in seattle. You just gather your stuff and you walk out the door, you go home. They track what you buy with cameras and miniature sensors. Which they say is great for people who love Grocery Shopping but wish it could be more like the movie minority report. Its a little confusing. Amazon made a video that walks through the process. It really is kind of amazing. Welcome to amazon go. Use the amazon go app to enter. Then put away your phone and start shopping. Anything you pick up is automatically added to your virtual cart. And if you change your mind, just put it back. Please dont consume the products in the store. Hey. Hey thats not how this works. When you leave, our just go technology charges your amazon account and you can keep going. But again, you cant just come in here and eat. Sir. You have to pay for that. Guillermo no hablo ingles. Come on, guy, i didnt eat any cake amazon go to jail, because you cant be trusted. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how was jail, guillermo . Guillermo terrible i dont want to go back. Jimmy im glad you got out. Guillermos been busy lately. In addition to drinking tequila hes my cohost on an awardwinning educational show. Every afternoon on Cable Access Television we help kids with their homework. Were very proud what was we do. If youll allow to us show off a little, its time for another funfilled segment of learning with the homework helper guys. Science and geography mathematics and anatomy physics and biology if you want to get wise call the homework helper guys jimmy hello, we are the homework helper guys. This is mr. Guillermo. I am mr. Kimmel. Were here to help you with any questions you might have. Homework questions, questions about life, you name it, we are here. Lets start with these two young men. Yeah, what are your names . My name is milo. My names emmett. And im in fourth grade and hes in second grade. Jimmy what is your homework question . Our first question is, why are some people not allowed to vote . Jimmy if youre technically, legally, mentally crazy, you are not allowed to vote. Also if you are in prison on probation for felony you are not allowed to vote. What else . You know the Weirdest Group of people of all who are not allowed to vote . Kids. What . Jimmy kids. If youre under 18 youre not allowed to vote. Because you know, kids pick their noses and eat and it stuff like that, we cant have people who make decisions like that voting. You understand . Emmett, do you ever pick your nose and eat it . No jimmy never . Never jimmy not even one time . Actually, he did one time. [ laughter ] jimmy he did, when was it . What happened . Tell us about that. Well no i didnt last year i didnt jimmy you did. Last year i did not jimmy a little bit. Eat pancakes jimmy you ate a piece of snot off your pancakes . No jimmy thats why youre not allowed to vote, its pretty simple. And in your opinion what is an example of an idea that is of an idea that is not a law that should be a law . Jimmy that is not a law that should be a law . Thats a good question. Well, number one, i think it should be illegal to pick your nose and eat it in your pancakes. You know a law i dont like that i think should not be a law is gravity. Gravity. Because if we didnt have this stupid law of gravity, we could all fly. Then in my school i wouldnt need to take dance class. Which id be sad about. Jimmy oh, emmett, do you like to dance . No. Jimmy not at all . He does. He takes hiphop classes. I do not yes, you do. Im leaving. Jimmy emmett you deny taking hiphop classes . You deny picking your nose . Poor emmett. Emmett took a beating here today. Do you guys argue a lot . Oh, look, hes back. Yes. Jimmy you do argue a lot. What do you fight about . We we were just in an argument like a second ago. Jimmy about what . Emmett do this, emmett why did you say that jimmy who names their kid emmett . I mean, emmett, youre going to stick with that name . Or are you going to change that when you turn 18 . Oh, yeah, im definitely going to change it. [ laughter ] jimmy what are you going to change it to, emmett . What are you going to change your name to, emmett . I know what hes going to change his name to, guillermo no guillermo yeah no jimmy what name are you going to change it to . Orfin. Jimmy orson . Orfin. Ill spell it. Orfin. Jimmy orphan. At the count of three, fight all right . One, two, three, fight thanks for watching the homework helper guys. We are the homework helper guys. Remember, if there is a dispute in your home, fight your brother. If you want to get wise call the homework helper guys [ cheers and applause ] jimmy we have a good show tonight. Music from pentatonix, t. J. Miller is here, and be right back with ryan gosling [ cheers and applause ] 3,2,1. Lumiere, action when i was too busy with the kids to get a repair estimate. I just snapped a photo and got an estimate in 24 hours. My Insurance Company definitely doesnt have that. You can leave worry behind when liberty stands with you™ Liberty Mutual insurance look at these old navy pajamas. You are all welcome. Homemade hors doeuvres . Uh nobody cares. As i was saying, before my sister rudely interrupted, i dont know why im so disgustingly generous. By giving you guys luxurious pajamas from old navy. Awe thank you. I dont want to make you feel bad but i was like. You told me that the entire store was up to 60 off at old navy. Shut your mouth. Those pants were seven bucks. New game truth or dare should i crawl around like a cat . Meow. Meow. For me . Oh my. [gasps] what is it . Its samsung gear vr. You put it in there. Push the play button. Oh. [gasps] [laughter] this is crazy oh my gosh whooooah wow. [sighs] [laughter] youve gotta try this. Jimmy hi, welcome back to the show. Tonight from Silicon Valley on hbo and the new movie Office Christmas party t. J. Miller is here. And then later, a grammywinning group of a capellaers, this is their holiday album called a pentatonix christmas. Pentatonix from the lobby stage. And a good show tomorrow. Jennifer aniston will be here, tom ford will join us, well have music from frenship. And tom holland, peter parker himself will swoop in with the exclusive World Premiere trailer for spiderman homecoming. And we have a new show on friday too, with the cast of rogue one a star wars story and music from a tribe called quest. Please join us for all that. [ cheers and applause ] earlier today, our first guest had the shape of his feet and hands permanently cemented into the pavement that makes up hollywood boulevard. He stars along with emma stone in a great new movie called la la land. It opens in select theaters friday and everywhere on Christmas Day, please welcome ryan gosling. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy you look very nice. Very handsome. I just want to point out that there are like married like 53yearold men whistling for ryan gosling. Thats the kind of effect youre having on people. [ cheers and applause ] thats my mom and her friends. I told them not to come. Jimmy what do you have here . What is going on . Oh, this . Jimmy yes, that. Oh, well, i heard that you were hosting the academy awards. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that is true. I am hosting. Thanks. On my way in i went down to the souvenir store downstairs. And i found this. Jimmy oh, wow. What does it say . On it it says best host. Jimmy best host . Best host ever. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, thank you. The bag . Jimmy wow what a i believe youre going to be the best host ever, my friend. Jimmy well, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] i cant imagine that would be true, but i can only disappoint. What can go wrong . Jimmy who do you think was the best host ever . I also heard, sorry jimmy go ahead. That you were having another baby. Jimmy that is right, yes. [ cheers and applause ] oh, theres more . I found these chocolate cigars. Jimmy oh, thank you. That is really theyre a little melted because guillermo and i hugged. Guillermo thats right. For i guess a little too long. Jimmy mexico, i like that, thats nice. Who hosted the oscars the year you were nominated . Ellen. Jimmy she did a fantastic job. Im not going to be as good as her, definitely. Not with that attitude. [ laughter ] come on man. One thing i want to tell you, though, make sure you have the right people backstage when you get off from giving your monologue. Jimmy you mean security people . No, i mean, last year when chris hosted, chris rock. Jimmy right. He came off after his monologue and i think what you want to see in that moment is a friend or jimmy enthusiasm. Somebody that you know, you know. Instead he saw me. Because i was presenting next. But he was the disappointment in his eyes that it was me that he saw was palpable. And i didnt hear the monologue because i was traveling through the bowels of the building while it was happening so i didnt want to just say i didnt know what to say. Jimmy you didnt want to lie and say, great job. Yes, we were just staring at each other. You know, Dave Chappelle was standing behind me, he just saved us both from this awful situation. Jimmy what did he do . He just moved me aside. He just went in there. Chris was like, thank god. Like a jedi. Why was he the first person . Make sure you have guillermo or your mother jimmy dont worry, im sure they will all be there, yeah. Your mother will probably be there with me at this event. Well, yes. Jimmy speaking of your mom, i know that you had a major event, really. Congratulations to you. Because this is not just getting a star on hollywood boulevard. When they invite you to put your hands and feet in cement, thats serious. I mean, that means youve really, really hit the bigtime. I think we have video of that. I want to ask one thing. Because i thought about this a couple of times. There you are with emma stone, the two of you together. Did you think about taking off your shoes and putting your feet in . Because really, those arent your footprints. Theyre your shoes. Theyre your shoeprints. Thats a good point. We should have talked about this earlier. Jimmy i know. We definitely could have worked this out. It is hard to know how to navigate getting down there. Jimmy yeah. Are there rules that they tell you . The thing to go to is to get on, you know all fours. Jimmy right. Yeah, you have to. Well. Do you . [ laughter ] jimmy i guess you can walk on your hands you get on all fours and look up and smile. Its not your first choice of positions. [ laughter ] that you want to be in. Jimmy right, youre right. [ cheers and applause ] its an awkward way to start your legendary stint. You have to have a look of gratitude. So i was thinking, how do i so i tried the spiderman at first. I thought i would just do both hands like this. I would do like i was tying my shoe, one hand and one hand. And they werent having any of it. Jimmy they werent. They were pushing jimmy they tell at you and tell you what to do, right, the photographers . The whole event is supposed to be this big thing and all it is, hey ryan, hey ryan, hey ryan, look over here you better look over or they get mad. They get very mad. Jimmy did you bring an extra pair of shoes . Did you rinse the shoes off . I have to deal with the shoes. Jimmy you dont have people . You dont have shoe people . I dont have shoe people. Do you have shoe people . Jimmy of course i have shoe people. [ laughter ] wow. Jimmy youve got to get shoe people. You were also just in budapest. Shooting blade runner, a new version of blade runner. [ cheers and applause ] is it great in budapest . Do you recommend it as a place to visit . Its a wonderful place. Jimmy did you enjoy working with Harrison Ford . Hes a hes a cool [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] jimmy he is. Thats all right. Well have to wleep that, but theres no other way to say it. Jimmy ive found as hes been here a few times that it took a due times before even though this is a talk show, really before he would speak to me. [ laughter ] but now i feel like he considers me to be like a son or Something Like that. Maybe not a son. Maybe a neighbor that hell wave to as he drives by. Right. Jimmy even though we dont live near each other at all. I assume i dont know where he lives. Thats the thing. Well jimmy did you hang out with him . Did you guys bond . I you know, we worked a lot together, you know. Hes funny. I had no idea. I asked him one night how who he got his sense of human por from, from his mother or his father. He just stared me down and said, sears. He said, i got it from sears, and they were closing, and i didnt have time to shop around so i just had to grab one. Jimmy how many months were you there . Five. Jimmy wow, thats a long time. Long time. Jimmy when we come back were going to see a clip from your new movie, which is just terrific. Ryan gosling, its called lala land. Well be right back [ cheers and applause ] dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by slim jim. Bust out of boring with the original meat stick. Snap into a slim jim today. This year at tmobile, the holidays are on us switch your family of four to tmobile, get unlimited everything, and well give you 800. Thats right 800 to spend anywhere you want. Plus, all season long, get awesome deals on smartphones, tablets, and accessories. Hurry in to tmobile and get your holidays on us. Inside the rack houses every barrel is aged four long years, for a fuller, smoother flavor. Our history is made from the inside. How will you make yours . Heineken has been family owned they know about tradition. My favorite tradition . Aww you shouldnt have. Exchanging gifts. I actually brought these myself. I want you to know youre looking at a newman. A man thats happy to be here. Excellent. Very easy to work with. Youre going to play the set list . Happy to. Even though i dont think anyone cares what i play. Well. If by anyone you mean anyone other than me, that would be correct. I care. Right. Okay. Although i i thought in this town it worked on a sort of one for you, one for me type system. How about two for you, one for me . How about all for you and none for me . Thats perfect, yes. Great. Okay. Okay, mutual decision then. Right, made by me. Right. And i sign off on it. Whatever. Tell yourself what you want to know. Jimmy that is lala land. I mentioned, and i do mean it, you did a great job. Emma stone is fantastic in the movie. The whole movie is just really, really, really good. Thank you, jimmy. Jimmy your piano playing in the movie, i was watching you, i felt like it must be a trick. As far as i knew you didnt play the piano but youre really place it in the movie. Yep. Jimmy well. Thank you. Jimmy youre welcome. But that is i dont know why i find that mindboggling. But you shouldnt be like you shouldnt look like this and be able to do that. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] its too much. Its too much, youve gone too far. Im sorry. Jimmy how hard did you practice . I mean, was it nonstop . Its not just yeah. Jimmy its good piano playing. The director wanted to shoot all of the in the tradition of the old musicals, fred and ginger, gene kelly, that style, they would do all their numbers in one shot generally or try to. It gives you a feeling as an audience like youre watching a high wire act. This could go south at any second. Theres no fancy editing. It invests you in a different way. Jimmy theres literally no editing. If you want to shoot all these things in one shot. A few of those, we did dance numbers in one shot, but the one thing for me was that i had to play the whole theme of the movie on the piano in one take. Jimmy without screwing up. Without messing up. Jimmy is that a tremendous amount of pressure . I think because it was my first day . Yes. Jimmy your very first day of shooting . Yes. Jimmy you had to do that . Yeah. Jimmy that is crazy. I would have screwed that up so many times. They would have just fired me. I mean, really. I feel like even, if my job was to answer the phone in the background i would have ruined it. Its so much focus on you. And to do that is i think people will understand it better when they see it. Also you have the dance. You have to do a lot. You really dug deep down to those Mickey Mouse Club roots. [ laughter ] i mean, that paid off in a big way on this particular film. Oddly enough, i thought my background in 90s hiphop would help. [ laughter ] it doesnt translate. Just soft shoe. Jimmy do you feel like now when you go to a wedding or something youll be a star on the dance floor . Youll be great . I forget everything. Jimmy already . Youve forgotten everything . As soon as we did it. I emptied out my brain and had to program it with what else was coming up next. Jimmy thats it . Really . Its gone . Its gone. Yeah. Jimmy well. It was really not worth a whole lot, was it, i guess . No, it wasnt. [ laughter ] jimmy you dont remember any of the dancing at all . No. I mean, i remember, you know maybe the waltzing. Thats pretty easy. Jimmy okay, all right. I dont remember the tap dancing. Jimmy is the waltzing easy . I think i know where this is going. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy where this is going . Would you like to dance . Are you asking me to show you how to walts . Jimmy i guess i am, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] show us how to waltz. I only know the guy part so that puts us in an interesting position. Jimmy i dont know either part so it doesnt make much of a difference. [ cheers and applause ] i need a little ambiance. Jimmy if you feel anything, its just a cigarette. [ laughter ] all right, let me get a look at you. Could we have a little ambiance . And some music. Great. Jimmy im like emma stone in this. Straighten up. Jimmy i was straightened up. Let me take a look at you. Jimmy okay. Can we have some romantic music . Jimmy that wasnt romantic . Lets get sensitive, man. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i thought i was straightened up. Put your arms out. Jimmy all right. Straight like this. Jimmy yes . Sway your back a little. Jimmy this doesnt feel like dancing. Im going to get in there. Jimmy all right. Its a threestep. Ill stand next to you. Jimmy all right. So youre going to go one two three, one two three, one two three, one two three. Just like that. Let me see you. Yeah. Right. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy where does my hand go . My forefinger and my thumb are going to Start Talking to your lower back. [ laughter ] jimmy it is . I need your lower back to just pay attention, all right . Jimmy okay. [ cheers and applause ] where are you looking . Where are you looking . Jimmy i dont know where im looking. [ cheers and applause ] stop for a second, stop the music. Who are you looking at . Jimmy i i thought i was are you dancing with over there or are you dancing with me . Jimmy im dancing with you. I should be dancing with you, right . Yes. Jimmy im sorry. Its not about this, its about this. [ cheers and applause ] i want to feel like im the only person in the room. Jimmy should we clear everyone out . All the people are boring right now. The world melts away. Jimmy all right. Its just you and i. Jimmy okay, all right. Im okay, im locked in. [ cheers and applause ] thats good. Jimmy am i good . [ cheers and applause ] thank you. I dont know what to say. Ryan gosling, everybody. Go see him in lala land friday, then everywhere Christmas Day. Be right back with t. J. Miller [ cheers and applause ] or travel. No familor housing. Ude for tor food. Because all a family should worry about is helping their child live. What about a pony . Nice try. Go to stjude. Org or shop where you see the st. Jude logo. Thonly once a yeargh saturday at kohls friends and family save a little more with an extra 25 off so you can give a little more this holiday. Its time to get cozy so bundle up for the Tree Lighting spread some Holiday Cheer and give a cozy nights sleep. Kohls. This holiday, on americas most awarded brand, during the ford year end event. Ford, the brand with the most 5star ratings. The highest owner loyalty. And awardwinning value from kelley blue book. Giving drivers what matters most. Thats how you become americas bestselling brand. Shop now during the ford year end event. Get a thousand dollars ford smart bonus cash on select models, on top of all other great offers. See your local ford dealer today. The full value of your totaled new car. The guy says, you picked the wrong insurance plan. No, i picked the wrong Insurance Company. With new car replacement™, well replace the full value of your car plus depreciation. Liberty mutual insurance. But its great taste is not. Atn sandwich may subway,table, this authentic classic is stacked with lean corned beef, bavarianstyle sauerkraut, swiss cheese and thousand island dressing on new freshlybaked rye bread. Only at subway. Hashtag stuffy nose. Hashtag no sleep. Hashtag mouthbreather. Just put on a breathe right strip. It instantly opens your nose up to 38 more than Cold Medicine alone. Shut your mouth and say goodnight mouthbreathers. Breathe right. Jimmy hi there, we are back. You know our next guest from the tv show Silicon Valley and the movie deadpool. He is a very funny man with a very funny new movie Office Christmas party. Opens friday. Please welcome t. J. Miller [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome, welcome. Oh, jimmy. I was just at the craziest party. Jimmy is that right . The old lamp shade on the head trick. Jimmy somewhere between a lamp shade, a ghost, and a klan member all at once. Okay, im going to take it off. Jimmy, i want to tell you jimmy oh. I want to tell you, i came here to get serious. I wanted to congratulate you on your child. Jimmy thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ]. I want to give you, for the babys first party, id like to gift him this. Jimmy oh, wow. Well. We dont know the little man baby. Jimmy that is so very sweet to give us this thing our Props Department gave to you. No, i came with that. Jimmy did you really . I made this myself, its not that hard. [ laughter ] jimmy maybe we can post the plans on our website. Yeah. Well, youve kind of tainted it with the klan reference but thank you very much. [ laughter ] these are turbulent times. Its a great time to be promoting a comedy. Jimmy it is a great time. A holiday comedy. I find it easy to sell a comedy during the apocalypse. [ laughter ] especially kate mckinnon, Jennifer Aniston is going to be here tomorrow, very, very brilliant, the greatest cast. Vanessa bayer, randall park, sam richardson, the list goes on and on. Everybody really delivers. An hour and a half of a really funny movie. Its a laugh a minute. Jimmy its a dirty movie. Its a little bit of a dirty minute. Its a laugh every minute and a half to two minutes. Its not a laugh a minute comedy because thats exhausting, were all exhausted. We want to give you the time every minute and a half to two minutes. A laugh every minute and a half. Jimmy i believe it. Youve got the great cast. Also, Silicon Valley is such a great show. One of the best shows ever. [ cheers and applause ] you had an unbelievable year careerwise with deadpool and the hbo show, now this movie. What has been the most exciting thing to happen to you this year . Being in a movie right now. Right now more than ever we need to laugh. Were going to take the holidays off, December Jimmy youre saying this will do it . This movie. Then im actually hosting the critics Choice Awards which is much better than the oscars. Jimmy is it . [ laughter ] is it better . Its more laid back. The Golden Globes trying to be the cool kid at the party but theyre not that cool. The critics choice just get [ bleep ]. But have fun at the oscars. Jimmy yeah. Youll be under a magnifying glass bigger than all of hollywood put together. While i just get a bunch of puppets and act like a ding dong. I got to work with Steven Spielberg, you guys. Jimmy oh, wow. [ cheers and applause ] what did you work with him on . It was a mm, mm oh, i love that. I love that water, i do. So were doing this scene, spielberg, this dream come true. Its weird, i have a relationship with him, he put me in carpoolers, a tv show i did that got canceled, a dreamworks show. I was on the way to audition for shes out of my league. Good hangover movie. And i was late an hour and a half, new to hollywood, i didnt have my i. D. , they wouldnt let me into a. Mblinn entertainment. Guard wouldnt let me in. The gate opens. Out drives this man. And i look. And i say, thats Steven Spielberg. And the guards like, yeah, youre at dreamworks. [ laughter ] i couldnt help it but i waved, hi, Steven Spielberg and he stopped the car. He backed up. And he said, hey, i know you. I said, hi, Steven Spielberg i couldnt stop using both his names. Im t. J. Miller he said, i know who you are, callpoolers, youre really funny. What are you doing here . Auditioning for shes out of my league. He said, thats one of ours, tell them thats why youre late. I said, i was going to say that anyway. [ laughter ] he said a good sense of humor about it. After shes out of my league came out and people liked it, i started calling his office. Every couple months. And i would just call and id say, you know, get me dreamworks. Theyd put Steven Spielbergs assistant on the phone. And i would say, hey, its t. J. Miller, i cant talk right now, i know steven and i have been trading back and forth, hes busy, im busy, tell him ill call him when i get a chance, thank you so much, goodbye. Then id hang up. I did that every single month for like ten years. [ laughter ] thats real. I kept doing that. Then all of a sudden, he calls upon me to be in ready player one, his next film. Ready player one jimmy wow. Yeah, its a great book. Jimmy did he actually call you . So heres what happened. After Office Christmas party was, you know i was going to star in that, then they also bought a film that im writing with my cousin miller davis excriminals. They made that announcement and i had a free day. I was going to write. Set up all my marijuana acu accoutremen accoutrements. Jimmy of course. I have a prescription for marijuana. Its medical. For anxiety. For my anxiety about getting arrested for marijuana. [ laughter ] so i laid out all my stuff. I was just about to start. And the phone rings. Its a 310 number. I dont usually pick up unknown numbers. For some reason i picked it up. I have steven for you. I said, what . She said, this is alison in Steven Spielbergs office, i have speak of convenient for you. I was like, oh thank god. And she thought, oh, i guess he finally, thank god hes talking with him. But i was like, imaginefy h fff had phoned marijuana. Then been on the phone with Steven Spielberg. Steven, how are you doing . Steven, i did say it right, steven . Oh no. I get on the phone, i talk with him for 17 38. [ laughter ] i thought i was really, really funny. Yeah put steven on. Then when he got on the phone i would have gone, steven, im super busy right now, i cant talk, ill call you back. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy t. J. Miller, everybody, Office Christmas party opens in theaters friday. And well return with music from pentatonix. [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is brought to you by the Dicks Sporting Goods foundation. Go to sportsmatter. Org to help save youth sports. Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. Put a 70 screen on a wall. Get a 10x optical zoom. Get excited world. Hello moto. Moto is here. The new moto z with motomods. Save up to 400 when you trade in your old phone and switch to verizon. After dark, we come. The brave shirts. The glow gals. The lords of the playlist. The midnight feasters. And the last train sprinters. We are the night. Nothseafood celebration. Self like red lobsters holiday so try new dishes like the new grand seafood feast, and the new wildcaught lobster shrimp trio, with a lobster macandcheese topped lobster tail. Come treat yourself to feast fit for the season before it ends. And let roomba from irobot help with your everyday messes. Roomba navigates your entire home. Cleaning up pet hair and debris for up to 2 hours. Which means your floors are always clean. You and roomba, from irobot. Better. Together. Heres your cue. Go go go [ bark ] cut cut, cut, cut, cut. Good job everybody, but i feel like were missing something. Something special. What about a star . [ door knocking ] somebody looking for a star . [ laughs ] [ gasps ] dude this was just sitting out front hi. Hey. Wheres erin . Uh, with my sister. But she hates kids. Ok, once more. Lexus rcs in . Ultra white. With . Premium package. Santa claus you got it if youre going to wish, wish big at the lexus december to remember sales event. Get up to 2,500 customer cash on select 2016 and 2017 models for these terms. See your lexus dealer. The Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series brought to you by the Dicks Sporting Goods foundation. Go to sportsmatter. Org to help save youth sports. Jimmy the album is called a pentatonix christmas. Here with the song god rest ye Merry Gentlemen, pentatonix god rest ye Merry Gentlemen let nothing you dismay remember christ our savior was born on Christmas Day to save us all from satans powr when we were gone astray oh tidings of comfort and joy comfort and joy oh tidings of comfort and joy god rest ye Merry Gentlemen let nothing you dismay remember christ our savior was born on Christmas Day to save us all from satans powr when we were gone astray oh tidings of comfort and joy comfort and joy oh tidings of comfort and joy in bethlehem in israel this blessed babe was born and laid within a manger upon this blessed morn the which his mother mary did nothing take in scorn o tidings of comfort and joy comfort and joy o tidings of comfort and joy let nothing you affright this day is born a saviour of a pure virgin bright to free all those who trust in him from satans powr and might o tidings of comfort and joy comfort and joy o tidings of comfort and joy god rest ye Merry Gentlemen let nothing you dismay remember christ our savior was born on Christmas Day to save us all from satans powr when we were gone astray oh tidings of comfort and joy comfort and joy oh tidings of comfort and joy [ cheers and applause ] lift up your head and keep moving or let the paranoia haunt you . Everybody lack confidence, everybody lack confidence i keep my feefifofum i keep my heart undone the strong in me, i still smile. Come join us this season,orld at the all new festival of holidays event. Including the new world of color season of light show. Now at the disneyland resort. Jimmy there are so many people to thank. Id like to thank ryan gosling, t. J. Miller. Apogies to matt damon, we ran out of time. Nightline is next. Thank you for watching, good night, everybody this is nightline. Tonight, confronting hate. Hail trump hail our people sclach. Richard spencer, the man who coined the term altright white people are ruling right now. Emboldened by the election results, spreading his racially extreme world view. Donald trump slingshoted our movement into fame. We travel to texas a m. Where his words inciting massive protests. Are you trying to normalize racism . Yes. Im trying to normalize racism, as you call it, absolutely. Plus a bronx tale. We take you to Opening Night of