Theres nobody bigger than beyonce. Jimmy yes, there is and ow. Dame oprah, its dame oprah, its her jimmy its not oprah. You got stamos you finally got john stamos on the show. Thats amazing. Jimmy its not john stamos, and hes been on the show a bunch of times. Its not oprah. Its the president of the United States and he needs this room. Secret service is here and they have dogs who will bite you if you dont leave. Im going to have to ask you to clear out. Im sorry. Im going to slap you again. Jimmy please dont, it hurt that time too. You got the president , huh . Wow. Its a big deal. Jimmy hes got two months left on the job. Good get, lame duck. Anyway this ones from matt damon. I can sign that for you now. Jimmy make it out to [ laughter ] dicky from hollywood, its Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight, president barack obama. And obama mean tweets 2. And now heres jimmy kimmel [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi, everybody. Thank you. Im jimmy. Im the host. Thank you for watching. Thank you for coming. Congratulations on making it here. Through security. If youre wondering why you got sniffed by dogs on the way in its either because the president is here or you have sausages in your pockets. Its a big deal when the president comes to visit. The secret service was very thorough this afternoon. I got my office swept and my prostate checked. [ laughter ] and guess what, obamacare covered the whole thing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] never before has an outgoing president sat down with an incoming Vice President , this is nothing short of historic. Speaking of historic, tomorrow night the Cleveland Indians host the chicago cubs. The president of course is from chicago. He tweeted, ill say it, holy cow cubs fans, even this white sox fan was happy to see wrigley rocking last night, fly the w. Im not sure how i feel about the president using hash tags. [ cheers and applause ] i am excited about the cubs. Its their first world series since 1945 and theyre pulling out all the stops. The great former chicago bull Scottie Pippen was at Wrigley Field on saturday. He had the honor of leading the crowd in the traditional take me out to the ball game. Who knew scotty was such a big baseball fan. Take me out to the ball game take me out to the ball i dont care if im boop boop boop jimmy at least he got the team name right. [ cheers and applause ] obviously the cubs winning was a bit of a letdown for us in l. A. Because they beat the dodgers, they beat them in six games, although the dodgers are demanding a recount, this whole thing might be rigged. [ laughter ] imagine if we did that for everything. Dodgers had a great season but ultimately the cubs were too much sure was hi, everybody [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh my goodness wow hi hi jimmy legendary chicago cubs announcer harry caray, everyone [ cheers and applause ] first of all, big congratulations on your cubs. What is this, pretzels . These are wetzels pretzels. Yeah a little lady was handing them out down the road. Who wants a pretzel, huh . [ cheers and applause ] get on in there jimmy its great to see you. Im so excited to meet you. Were in the middle of a pretty big show right now do you know where wetzel gets all his delicious pretzels . Jimmy i do not. He rolls them. Out of dough. Jimmy oh. Gives the offspeed pitch, smacks a chopper into shallow right, and the cubs have a runner on base with no outs. Hey, johnny jimmy its jimmy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] hey, hey hey, johnny did you know that the last time the cubbies won the world series it was 1908 . Jimmy you know what, i did know that, thats a long time. Long time, 1908. In 1908 our president was Theodore Huxtable roosevelt. [ laughter ] did you know that . Jimmy i didnt americas top export was fruit rollups. [ laughter ] and the number one Television Show was the fresh prince of bel air. Starring the six Million Dollar man himself lee majors. Jimmy i didnt know we had television. None of that seems accurate at all. Madison russell gets a piece of that one, durham goes to second, two men on with none out. Jimmy no, this is interesting to me. Clearly youve been following baseball even though youve been you passed away in 1998. 1998 . Jimmy yeah. Holy cow. Im dead. [ laughter ] jimmy well, if youre bringing attention to baseball, have you also been paying attention to the election . Hell, ill too busy putting the stones to janis joplin. Jimmy what . Really . Hold on. Yeah. I know. Huh . Jimmy i never no, i dont have a chance to tell anyone about it ever. Jimmy thats incredible. Ill tell you this much, jimmy johnny, sorry. You get past the armpit hair and shes all lady. Take another little piece of my heart now baby jimmy dating in the afterlife, that is amazing. I wouldnt call it dating. Long slide to the wall, he goes back, he has it and the runners tagged, men on first and third, one out. Jimmy have you heard that donald trump is the republican candidate for president . What the are you trying to kill me again . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] hey, hey watch out for crowds with machetes are they here . Jimmy no, theyre not here. Were talking about donald trump yeah, donald trump. Oh, boy. Back with it. I knew him when he would sneak into the press box and throw kennedy half dollar coins at the dominican players. Jimmy he did . Trumps got those little tiny mitts. [ laughter ] he looked like he was flinging silver dinner platters with those things. Jimmy you know, we have another prominent its the contrast between the coins and the tiny jimmy i understand. President obama there are no clowns here . Jimmy no clowns. President obama is from chicago, hes here on the show barack obama . [ cheers and applause ] hes a white sox fan but i forgive him. Jimmy thats very big of you. Hes been terrific. You know what that guy ought to do now that hes got some time . Jimmy what . Open a shrimp shack. Jimmy a what . Yeah. A shrimp shack. Jimmy a shrimp shack . Everybody loves shrimp, jeffrey. Jimmy jimmy. Theres something about them. Theyre tasty. He can call it something like, obamas world of shrimp. Jimmy oh, thats people digging in, enjoying their shrimp. He could come around. How are you enjoying your shrimp . Jimmy okay. Are they hot enough for you . Throw in a baked potato wrapped in tinfoil and we got ourselves a road win. Jimmy oh, that maybe some beer with the shrimp, i remember how much you loved that. Do they have beer in heaven . Hell, yes, they have beer. Not just any beer. Budweiser beer [ cheers and applause ] aimed, served in a metal can, just like its supposed to. Give it a sip. Jimmy no thanks, im all right. Oh, come on, the dead guys dont got no cooties. [ cheers and applause ] there you go. Jimmy yeah. You know what i say. Jimmy what . Why have one when you could have 12 . Budweiser the king of beer. Jimmy harry, before you go do me one favor. Vin scully was here. Right, yeah. Jimmy dodgers announcer. I remember him well, good kid. Jimmy im sure hell appreciate that. Years ago i hit a home run in a softball game and it was televised. Vin scully did the play by play for me. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to also do play by play for the clip of me hitting a home run. I dont know, i dont know [ cheers and applause ] i dont think so. Jimmy do you want to hear harry caray . [ cheers and applause ] all right. All right, timmy. All right. Roll it. Jimmy jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel. Roll it. Okay. Up next, jimmy kimmel, boy is he fat. I mean, if it starts raining we can tarp the field with his uniform pants, hes that big. Heres the pitch. He swings. Its a home run swings for the fences, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom the stadium is shaking jimmy its not. Obviously it wasnt built to code. Jimmy all right, we get it. The footsteps of a 900pound man. Hey, save some peanuts and crackerjacks for the rest of us. Jimmy harry caray, folks [ cheers and applause ] my pleasure. Jimmy yes. My pleasure. Night, everyone lets go, lets go, show Scottie Pippen how its done. A one and a two take me out to the ball game take me out to the crowds buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks dont give it to jimmy because he is too fat he has an eating disorder jimmy we have to take a break. President obama reads mean tweets. Stick around harry caray. The Old Ball Game [ cheers and applause ] try theraflu expressmax,nd flu hold you back now in new caplets. Its the only cold flu caplet that has a maximum strength formula with a unique warming sensation you instantly feel. Theraflu. For a powerful comeback. New expressmax caplets. Remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Its time to snap out of it. Hello moto. 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According to the latest poll from abc news shes leading donald trump by 12 points. She has a 20point lead among women. A 3point lead with men. And a 20point lead among voters with college degrees. Although she is still significantly behind when it comes to men who have large plastic testicles dangling from the bumpers of their trucks. [ cheers and applause ] both Hillary Clinton and donald trump were at the Al Smith Dinner thursday night. This is an annual Charity Event in new york where the candidates will show up, politicians show up, to make jokes and give each other a little roasting. It started off fun. Then it took a turn. But we slowed it down for another episode of drunk donald trump. [ tape playing slowly ] i wasnt really sure if hillary was going to be here tonight. Because i guess you didnt send her invitation. By email. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its all in the delivery, it really is. Whoever does win on november 8th will not have it easy. Being president is a tough job. Its one of the only jobs where you get a new Approval Rating every single day. Its really just president and uber driver, those are the only two. And now that we have this thing called social media, the president gets hundreds of judgments every hour of every day. Many of them unpleasant. Tonight once again president obama has agreed to read some of them for our secondever president ial edition of mean tweets. [ cheers and applause ] barack obama is the nickelback of president s. Obama couldnt negotiate getting a whopper without pickles. Woodstock dave. Thanks, dave. I bet obama likes mustard on his hot dogs because hes gross. duckpunks. Just found out my daughter shares a birthday with obama. Puke. In caps. momoffourmunchkins. Barack obama dances like how his jeans look. You know, this jeans thing. This is so old. These are years ago, come on. My mom bought new conditioner and it sucks, it isnt even conditioning my hair, i blame obama. [ laughter ] barack obama, bro, do you even lift . Well, i lifted the ban on cuban cigars, thats worth something. [ cheers and applause ] barack obama is the sharknado of president s. Loud, stupid, and overhyped. Sharknado4. President obama will go down as perhaps the worst president in the history of the United States, exclamation point. realdonaldtrump. Well, realdonaldtrump, at least i will go down as a president. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy well be right back with president obama [ cheers and applause ] omes in by the hollies oh the fishes will laugh as they swim out of the path and the seagulls theyll be smilin and the rocks on the sand. Its so peaceful up here. Yeah. [ eagle screech ] introducing the new turbocharged volkswagen alltrack with 4motion® allwheel drive. Soon to be everywhere. Was she expecting to find ther perfect designer boots at such an amazing price . No. But thats the beauty of a store full of surprises. 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We have new shows this week with felicity jones, gordon ramsey, andrew garfield, mario batali, science bob pflugfelder, Jimmy Eat World so join us for all of that. [ cheers and applause ] i am very appreciative tonights guest can take time away from helping rig the election to join us tonight. He is the 44th president of the United States. Hell soon be out of work so please accept his linkedin request. Please welcome president barack obama [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you thank you jimmy how are you doing . Im doing great. Jimmy you seem like youre in a good mood lately. First of all, the mozzarella was terrific. Jimmy it was good, huh . [ laughter ] second of all, i think you know, that you pick on your audience a little bit during the breaks. Jimmy yeah, during the commercial breaks, yeah, i do, yeah. Youre kind of tough on them. Jimmy im not running for anything. Oh, wait, im running for Vice President no wonder my names not on the ballot. Should have gotten some tips. Jimmy i should have. You should have called. Jimmy i called, nobody answered. Biden didnt take your call . Jimmy biden did not take the call. Literally no one took the call, it was remarkable. When was the last time you went through a metal detecter . I dont go through metal detectors. [ laughter ] i apply metal detectors. Or people do so for me. Jimmy when that day comes in the future, and it is going to come [ laughter ] you are going to be mad, arent you . Well you know, i keep secret service after i leave. Jimmy right. So jimmy oh. Theyve got connections. Oh, so forever . Im not taking off my shoes. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy as i know you are a big sports fan, youre a white sox fan, are you really happy that the cubs are going to the world series . [ laughter ] yes. No, you know, i watched the end of the last game. And to see just how happy everybody was, i actually felt pretty good. Jimmy you did. I am rooting for my hometown team. Even though it is not my team. Jimmy its not your team. It is not my team. But you know, i was watching these press reports about how the last time they won a world series, Thomas Edison was still alive. [ laughter ] sliced bread had not been invented. So this was literally the best thing since sliced bread. For cubs fans. [ cheers and applause ] white sox got their championship a little over ten years ago so were feeling okay. Jimmy bill murray may be the premier cubs fan of all cubs fans, was in washington, d. C. This week. I happened to be there, we did a tribute to bill murray. He crashed the white house. He came into the oval office in a cubs shirt. And i dont usually allow that to happen. Jimmy yeah. First of all, most people come with a shirt and tie. It was bill murray so i figure, i get no tie. But dont rub it in with the cubs jersey on. Jimmy im amazed by him. He pretty much does anything he wants. What he wants. Nobody checks him. Not even secret service. Jimmy metal detects him. It doesnt matter. Jimmy did you speak . Did you chat . Well, he had won the mark twain. Jimmy mark twain prize, yeah. The mark twain prize. Will had won previously. I should mention by the way, will gets this prize, we do this photograph in the oval office. The Board Members presenting it, a big todo, then he leaves without the prize. [ laughter ] which you know, somehow the Board Members didnt find funny at all. [ laughter ] jimmy they didnt. Bill did not forget the prize. Jimmy he remembered the prize. We took the picture. Then he agreed to do a little social media skit. About signing up for people who didnt have health care, signing up, because open enrollments coming up november 1st. We thought of a skit, we decide we were going to putt on the carpet in the oval office. And somebody grabbed a glass, we were trying to putt in the glass. And he won repeatedly. I mean, he kept on the glass was rigged. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy its happening a lot lately. I was a little frustrated. What makes matters worse, then hes giving me tips about putting. [ laughter ] serious. Hes all, no, i think your right hands a little too firm on the bill, youre a comedian, not a golfer. He took money from me. And i paid him 5. So basically the whole visit was a disaster. Jimmy you have money . Do you have any money right now . No, i have somebody. Jimmy you have somebody for money. [ laughter ] jimmy in the movies when the or tv when theres something going on, some big event in the world, somebody always says, wake the president. Yeah. Jimmy then somebody has to wake the president. Right. Jimmy does that happen . First of all. Well, first of all, i have a phone right by my bedside. Jimmy yes. And every morning, somebody calls and says, mr. President , its your 7 00 a. M. Wakeup call, and i pick it up. And it works just like a phone. Jimmy yeah. Thats it. Jimmy nobody pokes his head in . No. Jimmy hopefully youre covered up or whatever . No. Look, there have been maybe three or four instances where you do get a call in the middle of the night. For example, when the typhoon hit japan. Fukushima. Jimmy right. Youre not sure exactly what is going to be happening, its the other side of the world, so its the middle of the night. We had to deploy our experts and our military to make sure that any potential Nuclear Disaster was contained and we helped the japanese. So things like that will happen every once in a while. But for the most part jimmy they let you sleep . For the most part they let me sleep. Usually the real Serious Problems that come up are ones that weve anticipated. We can kind of see coming. Jimmy do you hate knock on wood, ive only got two or three months left. Jimmy right. [ cheers and applause ] you have to be ready if something happens. Jimmy right, you have to be ready. But as ive mentioned before, what i dont do is like a 3 00 a. M. I dont tweet. Jimmy you dont tweet in the morning . About people who insulted me. I try to sleep so that in the morning im actually ready for crises. Jimmy the debate, you watched donald trump, do you ever laugh . Do you ever actually laugh . [ laughter ] most of the time. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy did you ever actually watch that access Hollywood Billy bush tape . I did. Jimmy you did. I saw it. Jimmy where did you watch it . On tv . We were in chicago. I think i was coming out of an event. Somebody just showed it to me on their phone. Jimmy at that moment did you know that it was going to be as notable as yes. Jimmy it turned out to be . Well, didnt you . [ laughter ] thats just not the kind of thing jimmy i didnt know because i think thats one of those things where if your best friend who worked in the office somewhere had that video, it would be a problem for him. Jimmy it would be a problem, yes. And hes not running for president. Jimmy right, exactly. And rightfully so. Jimmy do you have dirtbag friends you havent been able to be in touch with for the last eight years . Alri was the mommynow slam dunk champion . Really . Yes, really dont sound so surprised. Lets see it oh youre ready. Alright, here we go. Lets hear the crowd. Ahhhh i go to the right. I go to the left. Fake em out. Mama go up, up, up she did it. Again . You cant avoid gravity. But unitedhealthcare can help you avoid financial surprises by helping you compare costs and doctor quality ratings. Unitedhealthcare uhhuh they keep telling me drink more water. Exercise more. I know that. Try laxatives. I know. Believe me. Its like ive. Tried. Everything my chronic constipation keeps coming back. I know that. Tell me something i dont know. vo linzess works differently from laxatives. Linzess treats adults with ibs with constipation, or chronic constipation. It can help relieve your belly pain, and lets you have more frequent and complete bowel movements that are easier to pass. Do not give linzess to children under 6 and it should not be given to children 6 to 17. It may harm them. Dont take linzess if you have a bowel blockage. Get immediate help if you develop unusual or severe stomach pain, especially with bloody or black stools. The most common side effect is diarrhea, sometimes severe. If its severe stop taking linzess and call your doctor right away. Other side effects include gas, stomacharea pain and swelling. Talk to your doctor about managing your symptoms proactively with linzess. 23rd timshhh. E charm. clink boom. Yes 23rd time is the charm, cliff. Yea, you showed me. Yes, you did. shelly thinking this must be how Odell Beckham feels when he scores a game winning touchdown. Touchdown Odell Beckham jr. crowd noise odell thinking this must be how shelly felt when she won that purple bear. Pepsi. [ laughter ] guys you miss and once youre out youre going to reconnect with them . You know, there are probably some guys who dont make the cut but theyre still good guys. [ laughter ] known them since high school, you have fond memories. Hey, man, ill catch up with you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the president is here with us. Well take a break, be right back proposition 61 is a very, very important step forward. For tand i thank the people of california for putting it on pharmacepathe ballot. Ry. E. It is time for the pharmaceutical industry to stop the entire nation is looking at california. Lets go forward together. Thank you all very much. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hi there, we are back with the president of the United States, barack obama. [ cheers and applause ] so you voted already, right . I have already voted. [ cheers and applause ] and i want to make sure that everybody in the audience, anybody whos watching, regardless of party, regardless of how frustrated sometimes you may feel about the political process, do not give your power away. Go ahead and vote. [ cheers and applause ] and its easy. You know, most states now have early vote. So its not like youve got to go right on november 8th. You may have a couple of weeks. You walk in, nobodys there, you can take your time. But i always say that i quote Justice Lewis brandeis in saying, the most Important Office in a democracy is the office of citizen. Its not president. Its not congressman. Senator or governor. Its a citizen. And each of us have a certain responsibility. We cant just sit back and complain. Weve got to try to have an influence. Jimmy who did you vote for . [ laughter ] its a secret ballot. And thats the way it should be. Jimmy why do you think so many people dont trust Hillary Clinton . You know a lot of this just has to do with the fact that she has been in the trenches, in the arena, for 30 years. And when you have been in the public eye that long, in politics folks go after you. And theyre trying to find a weak spot. And any mistake that you make ends up being magnified and ginned up. And there are commercials around it and a whole narrative begins to build. That has an impact on people. But i can say that having worked with her, she is smart as a whip. She does her homework. She works really hard. She cares deeply about working families in this country. And you know, shes not somebody who thinks the job is about flash and sizzle and making speeches, its about just getting policy right and making sure that folks are doing a little bit better. And i think that at a time in our politics when everybody wants to get 100 of what they want right now, and the assumption is if somebody else doesnt agree with you then theyre completely wrong, and we got no time for them, the brand of politics that hillary represents which is pragmatic and says that you dont get everything done all at once, you do you make progress in little pieces at a time. That may not attract as much attention. Its not something that goes into 140 characters as easily. Jimmy right. But i think she will be an outstanding president. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy are you happy in a way, are you glad that there are term limits . That youre not being pressured yes well, not you know, George Washington is one of our greatest president s. Not just because he helped to lead the revolution, but because he had the wisdom after two terms at the time there was no constitutional prohibition on him continuing, and he was being pressured by a lot of folks to say, youre the only person who can hold this together. And he had the wisdom to step back and say, i do not want to set a precedent where i am president for life. Now personally for me, if i were able to run for a third term, michelle would divorce me. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so its useful that i dont have that choice to make. Jimmy i know you have to leave but can we keep her for another four years . [ cheers and applause ] she is spectacular. But i was telling somebody backstage, michelle was never wild about politics. Michelle once explained to me, i try to organize my life not to have a lot of mess around. And politics is just a big mess. Jimmy yeah. She said i still remember, when i was thinking about running for president , she said, you know, i think you would make an outstanding president and i would work so hard to make sure you were president , youre the kind of person we need, if i werent married to you. [ laughter ] so she is not sorry. Jimmy they are looking forward, all the women in your life are looking forward all the women in my life are looking forward to being able to live a more normal life. Jimmy yeah. But still not entirely normal. Obviously everybodys under the microscope at all times. A little bit more. Jimmy youre staying in washington, d. C. , which is unusual for an exiting president. Im like the old guy at the bar where you went to high school. Jimmy exactly. Just hanging around. Its like shirts been on too long, still thinks hes cool. Jimmy thats one of your friends youre going to be hanging out with. Exactly right, me and that guy at the capitol hill bar. Whens that guy leaving . Jimmy that guys never leaving. Sasha is a sophomore. Shes doing great in the school she currently attends. Our attitude is that if you have a teenager and you really want to make sure they never talk to you again, then pull them out of high school right in the middle of sophomore year. Jimmy youre right. So look, theyve made so many sacrifices. They have, yeah. I want to make sure that they get the ability to have whats best for them for a time. Jimmy do you ever wish you were running against donald trump . [ laughter ] do you ever wish you could climb there . The Vice President said he wanted to fight him the other day. You know, i think hillarys doing just fine. I am enjoying campaigning on her behalf. And also campaigning for senate and house candidates. Because look, we joke about donald trump. But i do think that part of the reason youve seen michelle passionate in this election. Jimmy yes. Part of the reason that we get involved as much as we have is not just because we think hillarys going to be a great president , but its also because there is something equal qualitatively different about the way trump has operated in the political sphere. Look, i ran against john mccain. I ran against mitt romney. Obviously i thought that i could do a better job. But theyre both honorable men. And if they had won, then i wouldnt worry about the general course of this country. I think republicans and democrats have some fierce disagreements and thats how democracy works, were a big, diverse country. And sometimes its going to be contentious and noisy. But what we havent seen before i think is somebody questioning the integrity of elections and the will of the people. What we havent seen before i think is a politics based on putting down in very explicit terms of Muslim Americans who are patriots or describing women not in terms of their intellect and their character but on a 1 to 10 score. Jimmy right. You know, at a certain regardless of what your political preferences are and your policy preferences, there is a certain responsibility and expectation in terms of how you behave, how you present yourself. It doesnt mean that jimmy ive heard this speech before, believe me, yeah. It doesnt mean that youre perfect. Jimmy no, i didnt mean from you, i meant Guidance Counselors to me. [ laughter ] yes, well the point is that you know, i said when i was running in 2008, im not a perfect man and i wouldnt be a perfect president , but id make the effort. To, as best i could, be honest to the american people, to make sure that i was protective of the institutions, that there were certain norms and standards and values and customs that make it work. And if you are willing to say anything and do anything even when it undermines everything thats been built by previous generations, you know, thats a problem. And thats why i take this election very seriously. Jimmy you should have sold hats, though, when you ran. [ laughter ] one thing you have to take away from donald trump is that you can make a lot of money selling hats. Yeah, you know what, we sold a lot of stuff. Jimmy were going to take a break. President obama is here. [ cheers and applause ] i struggle with bipolar depression, and its hard. Its difficult to see someone you love struggle. I miss out on lifes little moments. So i talked to my doctor and he prescribed latuda. There are many forms of depression. Latuda is fda approved to treat bipolar depression, which is different from other types of depression. In clinical studies, onceaday latuda was proven effective for many people struggling with bipolar depression. Latuda is not for everyone. 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Com inthousands ofk barrels lay silent aging, building a fuller smoother flavor that only comes from being aged four long years at jim beam our history is made from the inside how will you make yours . Now try jim beam apple poured over ice and serve with club soda and a fresh lemon wedge to make a crisp, refreshing jim beam apple and soda. Remember 2007 . Smartphones . O m g ten years later, nothings really changed. Hello moto. Snap on a jbl speaker. A projector. A camera that actually zooms. Its a phone you can change again and again and again. Hello moto. Get excited world. Moto is here. The new moto z with motomods. Buy one moto z droid, get one free. Only on verizon. We catch flo, the progressive girl, at the supermarket buying cheese. Scandal alert flo likes dairy . woman busted [ laughter ] right afterwards we caught her riding shotgun with a mystery man. Oh, yeah [ indistinct shouting ] is this your chauffeur . What . no, i was just showing him how easy it is to save with snapshot from progressive. You just plug it in and it gives you a rate based on your driving. Does she have insurance for being boring . [ light laughter ] laugh bigger. [ laughter ] try theraflu expressmax,nd flu hold you back now in new caplets. Its the only cold flu caplet that has a maximum strength formula with a unique warming sensation you instantly feel. Theraflu. For a powerful comeback. New expressmax caplets. Waiting here awhile. Good thing you all had your phones with you. [ cheers and applause ] as the father of two teenaged daughters, i know the whole time you were just like and then he said. Girl, i couldnt believe it. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy talking about your daughters, who i assume keep you up to date on all the technology. They do. Now, sasha gave me instructions on snapchat. Jimmy oh, really. One night at dinner were sitting there. And i had read that snapchat was becoming really popular among her age cohort. So i said, tell me about snapchat. So she starts explaining stuff. Then you can make little faces on your picture, this and that and the other. And at the end of it, michelle and i are sitting there. I said, isnt this interesting. I started talking about the implications of social media, what all this means. Come to find out she was recording us the whole time and then sent to her friends afterwards, this is my dad lecturing us on the meaning of social media. She took a picture of herself sort of looking bored. Jimmy wow. You know. Jimmy as if you dont have enough Security Problems right now. [ laughter ] michelle of course loved it. Malia thought it was a riot. They distributed it to all their friends. This is what i go through during dinner. Jimmy would you tell young people that they should never write anything in an email that might possibly be controversial in any way . Its interesting. I have email, i dont have texting. Because my phone function is disabled. I now have an iphone but it is like the phone you give your 2yearold. Jimmy yeah. They can press things but nothing actually happens. Jimmy right. So my phone has no phone. No camera. Jimmy what . No music. All it has is the internet and i can send emails. I think it has a weather box too. Jimmy yeah, right. So i send emails. My rule has been throughout my presidency is that i assume someday, sometime, somebody will read this email. So i dont send any email that jimmy yeah, no. That at some point wont be on the front page of the newspapers. Hows the wifi at the white house, is it good . We just updated it i think a year and a half ago. And the girls threw a party. Its an old building, the walls are thick. We werent getting real good signals. Do we know who hacked Netflix Friday night . To me, that is an act of war. Yeah . You didnt know what to do . Jimmy what are you going to do . People are sitting down to watch narcos or something and nothing. Do we know, do we have any idea who did that . We dont have any idea who did that. But what is true is that we are all connected. Were all wired now. And one of the Biggest Challenges for the next president and the president after that and the president after that is going to be how do we continue to get all the benefits of being in cyber space but protect our finances, protect our privacy . How do we balance issues of security . Because people expect the government to monitor this enough to protect them from bad guys. But they worry that if government is in there too much, then whos going to be protect them from government . And were going to have to come up with frameworks and some of its going to involve technology, some of its going to involve law. This is going to be a big debate were going to have for a long time. Jimmy i bet we will. I want to say thank you to you for being our president. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Ive had a great run. [ cheers and applause ] it has been the privilege of a lifetime. But i do have to remind everybody that michelle and i will still be alive in three months. [ laughter ] and hopefully you invite me onto the show once in a while. Jimmy no, this is it. Im just saying goodbye. This is terminal . Jimmy it was really nice knowing you is what im trying to say. Well, at least ill still enjoy watching the show. Jimmy thank you. President barack obama [ cheers and applause ] be right back. [ cheers and applause ] whmy doctor. Houldnt hamy dentist. Veryday . Definitely my wife. Wait, i know what i want. Make sparkling water at home. And drink 43 more water every day. Sodastream. Love your water. Jimmy all right. I want to thank president obama. Thanks to will ferrell, thanks to joe mchale. Apologies to matt damon, we did run out of time. I wanted to make sure we got you on the show before we ended. Guillermo thank you very much, jimmy. Jimmy thanks for watching, everybody. Nightline is next, good night [ cheers and applause ] this is nightline. Tonight breaking news. A trump accuser stepping out of the shadows. Thats why im here today, to show we shouldnt be afraid. The People Magazine reporter alleging donald trump assaulted her now in the spotlight with just four days till the election. Plus inside the final 30. Tarnished trump . Are his businesses in decline . Women are turning their backs on him, women of color are turning their backs on him. Hes playing a dangerous game