Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20160708

Major night of baskets and balls. A special thanks to those of you with us earlier for our game night special in prime time. You get extra credit. Tonight game 5 of the nba finals. Between the Golden State Warriors and the cleveland cavaliers. The warriors tonight were shorthanded. They were without Draymond Green who was suspended for what was the latest in a series of attacks on other players testicles. Here he is kicking steven adams of the oklahoma thunder during the last series, and this was on friday night the league called this unnecessary contact with the retaliatory swipe at the hand of the i dont know. They really know how to make it sound sexy. But two days after the game he was charged with the flagrant foul. Which kind of seems wrong to me. I feel like there should be a statute of limitations, like you have to call the foul before the pain wears off. While the guy is rolling around on the Ground Holding himself the call must be made. And this is interesting. If you get suspended in the nba, youre not even allowed to be in the arena before or during the game. So draymond tonight watched the basketball game from the baseball game. He reportedly watched it from a suite at the oakland as game next door. What were they afraid he was going to do . Storm the court and force his way into the i feel like we should have known this was going to happen. Have people even seen the Draymond Green signature shoe . I mean, looking back it seems to obvious. Throughout the nba finals our friend tracy morgan has been kind enough to share some of his personal favorite memories from finals past. Tonight hes prepared to share again. Here we join tracy as he turns the clock all the way back to the year 1970. One of my best nba finals ever was when willis reed walked out of the tunnel in 1970 after returning from his leg injury. I loved it because it reminded me of my uncle jerry. He got his leg bit by pit bulls in a dog fight. Now, i dont condone his behavior or dog fighting or nothing like that. Let me just say this. That taught me a valuable lesson. You dont fight pit bulls if you happen to work in the butcher shop. Because the pit bulls, they can smell the meat on you. And then they cant control themselves after that. Anyway, he had no calf muscle after he got bit. So his leg looked like one of those old dudes, the pirate dude with the wooden leg. Ar, ar, ar, ar. It was so funny. It was funny. Hell show it to you if you ever meet him. [ applause ] jimmy quite a story. As a special bonus, we invited one of tracys friends tonight to provide some finals recollections of his own. With that said its time now for alec baldwins nba finals memories. One of my best nba finals ever was when willis reed walked out of the tunnel in 1970 after returning from his leg injury. I loved it because it reminded me of my uncle jerry. He got his leg bitten by pit bulls in a dog fight. Let me just say this. That taught me a valuable lesson. You dont fight pit bulls if you happen to work in a butcher shop. You understand what im saying . Anyway, he had no calf muscle after he got bit, so his leg looked like one of them old dudes, them pirate dudes, you know, with the wooden leg . Ar, ar, ar. It was so funny. It was funny. Hell show it to you if you ever meet up with him. [ applause ] jimmy thank you, alec. They have so much in common. They both have an uncle jerry. This should be interesting. Tomorrow night in washington d. C. , Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders are going to have a meeting. Theyre having a dinner at dennys at 5 00. [ laughter ] i would love to be at that meeting. Dont fall for it, bernie, its a trap. Hillarys going to shove you in a van, tie you up and lock you away in an assisted living facility. Donald trump was in virginia this weekend where he continued to try to convince bernie to stay in the race. Here is donald trump slowed down to half speed for comic effect. [ slow speed ] bernie. Bernie bernie, where are you, bernie . Oh, we love bernie. Bernies okay. [ normal speed ] jimmy i only want to hear him speaking like that from now on. You probably know donald trump is keen on suing people. According to usa today hes been involved in at least 3,500 lawsuits so far in his life. Thats a lot. Most people sue or get sued once, maybe three times in their lives. By the way, when im Vice President , i will propose a lifetime cap. Youll get five lawsuits and thats it, so choose wisely. [ applause ] jimmy you know . But until that time we have to deal with wealthy people filing as many suits as they want. Which is bad news for our overburdened legal system but very good news for lawyers on both sides. Have you or someone you love been sued by donald trump . Call the law firm of Greenberg Greenberg today. Weve successfully defended literally thousands of donald trump lawsuits like these. I was watching Celebrity Apprentice but then i switched over to dancing with the stars. Donald trump sued me for 400,000. My kids bought me this trump tie for fathers day. I never wore it. Trump sued me for 2 million. I retweeted this picture of Donald Trumps hair looking like an ear of corn. He sued me for 500,000. Im mexican. Donald trump sued me for 8 million. When donald trump sues, were there for you. Call today. Se habla espanol. [ applause ] jimmy im glad that went your way, guillermo. I really am. This week is the biggest week for major sports titles of the year. Last night the Pittsburgh Penguins beat the San Jose Sharks to win the stanley cup. And i can see weve got a lot of fans of hockey here. [ laughter ] see, thats the thing. Its interesting to see how many people outside of like pittsburgh and san jose are paying attention to hockey. Our beloved hockey team here in l. A. , the kings were eliminated by san jose in the first round of the playoffs, which was like two months ago. The series go on forever. We decided to have fun with that. This afternoon we went out on the street and asked people who claim to be l. A. Kings fans if they were excited that the kings won the stanley cup, which of course they didnt. But that didnt stop these fans from celebrating anyway in tonights stanley cup finals edition of lie witness news. Were out talking about the very exciting victory by the l. A. Kings last night taking home the stanley cup again. Whos excited . Excited . Well, i think im very excited. Im sure the rest of my family is because were large were huge stanley were huge hockey fans. Did you watch the game together last night . We couldnt, but we listened to it on the radio. What were you guys doing . Youre listening on the radio, youre hearing the play by play, youre getting excited. Whats going on . Well, its kind of hard to describe because theres so many things going on at the same time. But what i can tell you from one word is just pandemonium. When the victory happened last night, people were out in the streets, victory celebrations exploded. It was crazy out here, man. I went down to b dubs. I seen a lot of it at b dubs. 2 was pretty tight. My favorite player is jonathan quick. Whoohoo. Go kings congratulations to the kings for bringing home the stanley cup 2016. I cant wait to touch the stanley cup that you guys won. Go kings, 2016 stanley cup victors. Youre a big hockey fan . Oh, yes. You watch every game . Season tickets. Everyones very excited here in l. A. About the stanley cup victory by the l. A. Kings last night. You catch any of the game . They didnt play. Okay. Well, youre smarter than a lot of other people out here today. [ applause ] jimmy well break him eventually. Dont worry. Are you familiar with kids bop . You know what that is . That album. [ applause ] really . Youre clapping for that . Anyway, well, we put together a new kidz bop album with help from some famous hiphop artists like this. Here go my song today was a good day. Kidz bop style, bitch. It runs so deep, so deep so deep jimmy you get the idea. When we come back the music of nwa, lil john, ty dolla sign, asap rocky as sung by children and my exclusive chat with baby steph curry and baby lebron james. Stick around. Well be right back. Whos the genius who puts a girl in heels on a subway grate . Miss monroe, eat a snickers. Why . You get a little cranky when youre hungry. Better . Much better. This scene will never make the cut. Im free to do what i want and have a good time. The ford freedom sales event is on and zero for 72 is back on 2016 ford focus, fusion and escape. Plus specially tagged vehicles get an extra 1000 smart bonus. That means freedom from interest. And freedom to choose. With ford, americas best selling brand. Im free, baby now get 0 financing for 72 months. Plus, specially tagged vehicles get a 1000 smart bonus. Only at the ford freedom sales event. Feel free. Only tmobile lets your family stream all the video and music you want from your favorite services freewithout using one bit of your lte data. Plus, you can roll your unused data forward. And right now, get a free line for your family. When you get 3 lines for 40 bucks each, the fourth line is free. Switch today. Flo [ ghost voice ] oooo [ laughs ] jaaaaamie, the name your price tool can show you Coverage Options to fit your budget. Tell me something i dont know oh ohhh ahh this is probably more of a breakroom activity. Ya think . Jimmy welcome back to our show. Kevin hart, Constance Zimmer and music from fitz and the tantrums is on the way. First some tech news for those of you into this sort of thing. Apple unveiled a few things today at their annual Worldwide Developers conference. Apple called developers together to unveil their latest Software Upgrades and to reminds everyone that they still make a watch. [ laughter ] they showed off a new operating system for the iphone and ipad. They showed off some improvements for apple tv and new upgrades for siri. Now siri will be available on your computer and i think on your watch too. Apple and many countries are very focused on getting us to talk to our phones and computers and watches. And they dont realize the reason we use these things in the first place is because we dont want to talk to anybody. [ laughter ] i want a phone that keeps quiet i want a phone that doesnt even turn on. Tonight was game five of the nba finals. Because i am fortunate enough to host a television show, i had to chance to sit down with two young superstars from each team. And it was interesting to be able to get inside these guys heads a little. This is part two of my exclusive twopart interview with steph curry and lebron james. Jimmy do you think the cavaliers are more motivated than your team seeing as how you beat them last finals . Uh. Jimmy your team is healthy this year. How do you feel about this . Lebron . Are you pooping . Lebron is pooping. Jimmy this is stephs pregame ritual. He passes the ball to one of his teammates over and over again. Its unorthodox, but obviously, it works. Jimmy just yeah. Just speak right into that. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Just yeah. Jimmy steph, some have called you the jiggliest player in the nba right now. Do you think thats true . Huh . Yes . Are you going to eat this microphone . [ baby babbling ]. Jimmy right. You know, on the court it seems lebron is much bigger than steph, but when youre holding them, steph is quite a bit heavier. No offense. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so while were on the subject of kids, i have a baby daughter. Shes almost 2 years old. And im always looking for things we might have in common. Music is one of them. And dont get me wrong. I love the song the wheels on the bus go round and round. I really do. But after the 40th time in a row im anxious for some variety. So i took matters into my own hands and teamed up with ice cube and friends to produce this great new album of kidfriendly hiphop songs we can all enjoy. What up, [ bleep ]. Its your boy ice cube. Check this out. Ive been seeing kidz bop for years. Then it got me to thinking, why cant we do a kidz bop with hiphop . I got some of my hardest rapping homies and we took out all the [ bleep ], bitches, hos and booty licking. That way all the little homies can finally enjoy my songs. Heres the song today was a good day kidz bop style, bitch. And the snow runs deep so deep my foots asleep i didnt have to have a school day i got to say today was a snow day what . Its lil jon okay if you thought these kids couldnt sanitize get low, then you were wrong, [ bleep ] [ bleep ]. On the playground, with the ball lets all play tether ball smack smack smack smack that ball hey, what up . Its ty dolla sign. If you heard my song paranoid youll love it even more without all that naught will i language. I see all the bubbles in the tub got to hide from my mother i think my mommys trying to scrub me up baby, im a dirty boy these [ bleep ] got flow and they also got wellcoreographied dance moves. Thats why i had to get them to do the cover of your boy asap rockys single [ bleep ] problems. Thats my trucking problem if you find some dirt and rocks, thats the problem maybe can i solve it its big sean. I always thought kids needed their own version of i dont [ bleep ] with you. Now they have one. I cant tie my shoes theres a million trillion things id rather learn to do no, i cant tie my shoes i cant tie em, i cant tie em, nope prove what ive always said. You can do the heat without all the cusses, which is why i also had these Little Angels cover our nwa classic [ bleep ] the police. Hug the police hug, hug, hug the police hug the police come on hug the police lets give them all a hug kidz bop hiphop features the mother hugging songs for mother hugging 19. 99. Call today mother hugger. Okay jimmy thanks to all of them. Lil jon and ty dolla sign. Asap rocky and big sean. Tonight on the show music from fitz and the tantrums. From unreal Constance Zimmer is here, and well be right back with kevin hart. Since the beginning of time, there never seemed to be enough of it. People try to beat time. Ahhhhh but time always wins. Our greatest fear is running out of time. Theres a bomb in the salsa can we gotta get out of here my phone is still charging so if time is the most valuable thing there is, why would you waste more than you have to charging your phone . Ahhhhhhhh the galaxy s7 edge, with fast wireless charging, and our longest lasting battery. Light piano today i saw a giant. It had no arms, but it welcomed me. hawk call it had no heart, but it was alive. train wheels on tracks it had no mouth, but it spoke to me. It said, rocky mountaineer all aboard amazing. People love my portobello mushroom buttery jack, made with portobello mushrooms, grilled onions, and garlic herb butter. Ever wonder how i came up with it . Well. Actually, i came up with it at the water cooler. But i thought youd like this cowboy story better. The portobello mushroom buttery jack is back. Part of the buttery jack family. Taste it before its gone. Amsleep number beds with you with Sleepiq Technology give you the knowledge to adjust for the best sleep ever. Its the final days of the lowest prices of the season sale, with our bestbuy rated c2 Queen Mattress now only 699. 99. Know better sleep. Only at a sleep number store. You guys be good[ bark ] ill [ bark ]later. Bye. See ya pal. Xfinity home provides 24 7 professional monitoring for 24 7 peace of mind. Aw. Aw. Aw. Aw. [ dryer running ] know what your pets are up to. Partys on . With xfinity home, connected, protected home. Xfinity customers get a great deal on xfinity home and ask about free installation. Call or go online today. See the secret life of pets, in theatres july 8th. Aha oof weee slurp. Mmmmmm. Cinnamon. Milk. Cinnamilk. Cinnamon toast crunch. Crunch crave those crazy squares. Cinnamilk jimmy tonight from the Peabody Award Winning show unreal, Constance Zimmer is with us. Then a great band from right here in los angeles. This is their selftitled album. Fitz and the tantrums from the samsung outdoor stage. Later this week, the great Oprah Winfrey will bless us. Mindy kaling will bless us. And Ben Mendelson will be here. And we will have music from garbage and Meghan Trainor too. Jimmy our first guest tonight is one of the most successful shoe salesmenturned comedians in show business history. He has a big movie coming out just in time for sandal season. Its called central intelligence. It costars Dwayne Johnson and opens friday. Please welcome kevin hart. [ applause ] you look good. You smell like leather. Thank you. Oh. Jimmy its good to see you. Its good to be seen. You look good. Jimmy i know youve been traveling. Have you been following the nba finals while youre im a man. [ laughter ] yes. Yes i have. Im very much into it right now. Jimmy where have you been . Have you been out of the country . Ive been everywhere. Jimmy. Im what you call a renaissance man. I do it all. Jimmy thats what ive always said about you. Who are you rooting for . Which team . Heres the thing. I like greatness. Right now youre in a situation where you have two different scenarios. Lebron james is, quote unquote, the best player in the nba today. Its arguable but its the truth. This guy has been there six times. I would love to see something happen within the six times but on the other hand, you have steph. Steph right now is having an amazing season. I love the fact that he made history. His team made history. Had a unanimous vote for mvp. And now hes got a chance to cap it off with a backtoback championship. It hasnt been done. So to say that i witnessed history and i saw it, thats a big deal. I want to see it. But it can happen on both sides jimmy but who are you rooting for . Im trying to be politically correct and avoid that part. Jimmy you run into them all the time, right . Whos your all Time Favorite basketball player . Michael jordan. Jimmy along the way youve run into Michael Jordan . Ive ran into mike a couple times. Mike still might be mad at me. True story. Jimmy why . Listen, i pissed mike off. Jimmy what did you do . He had an event. Mike had a Charity Event in las vegas. They called me. They wanted me to host the event. I get there to host the event and its something where theyre like auctioning things and its a real tight crowd. Jimmy rich people. Very boujy. Everybodys neck was really straight. So i get up there and im like man, loosen up, relax. Have a good time. As im saying stuff, i lock eyes with mike. Hes in the front row, and i start teasing him. I was like, man, what age do you get to where its okay to wear your pants that high and nobody addresses it . I was like i said nobody yall telling me im the only one who thinks mike is past the legal limit for waists . It was fun jokes. He had like the little square mustache at the time. I was like what is that . I said it looks like a thumbprint, like you just smelled something. And like nobodys laughing. It got to the point where nobody was laughing. Jimmy really . Hes looking like straight hes actually giving me a look like youre going to keep on going . Like you aint going to stop . I dont care. Im having a good time. I was laughing. I may or may not have been drunk at the time. [ laughter ] so i remember i hit him with like one more. And nobody said nothing. So im like whatever. It gets over and i see him. Im like what up, mike . Hey. He shook my hand and squeezed it real hard and was like you have a good day. Jimmy really . Yeah. I aint seen him since. Jimmy oh, no, wow. Hes still my favorite player, though. If i see him again, ill ask him about it. Im like, you better lose the tude, man. Lose the tude, man. Jimmy it seems like when a guy has a hitler mustache, his friends should intervene. Im big on telling people things that make me uncomfortable. If theres something youre doing or something about your appearance that makes me uncomfortable, im going to address it. Mikes pants made me uncomfortable. They were like right here. It was like a dress pant. It wasnt a jean. It was like a slack. Who wears a slack right here . Jimmy Michael Jordan. Thats who. Technically he can do it. If anybody can do it, mike can. Jimmy for those who dont know, youre engaged. How long have you been engaged . [ applause ] thank you. Sorry, ladies. It is almost over, ladies. Its over. Ive been engaged for two years. About to get married. Jimmy you are . I was wondering about that. It seemed like youve been engaged the last 11 times i saw you. I have. I didnt know her yet. Youve got to figure it out. Jimmy first get engaged. You draw it out as long as you can. Jimmy are you involved in the planning of the wedding . In the beginning i didnt want to be. I made a very strong point saying do not involve me with any of it. I just want to make you happy. I want to pay for it, but i dont want the questions. I dont want to go back and forth. And then i wound up getting involved, and now im worse than her. [ laughter ] once you in, you in. Im like i dont know if i like those flowers. Let me see another one. I dont know if i like that dressing. Let me taste it. Let me see that napkin. No, that doesnt feel right. Let me see another one. You get in. Once you really get involved, you get involved. Jimmy how many people are you inviting to the wedding . We dont want it too crazy. Right now were at 175. Jimmy will it stay there . Will it end there . At max 200. Its all her people. None of my people. My people didnt know i was getting married until i said it on this show. Ill have to explain this in the morning. Jimmy youre in a lot of trouble. So you didnt really invite your whole family. No. Jimmy why . I want it to be small. I dont want it something grandiose. Jimmy when they say you got her aunt and uncle its for her. Jimmy its for her . Yeah. You go, do that. Jimmy but you picked out the napkins. That will piss me off if i see it on the floor. Its a good napkin. I cant remember the pronunciation of the cloth. Its expensive. If i see people wipe their mouth or something and not appreciate, it its really going to piss me off. Im making eye contact. You see why i picked that, dont you . Yeah. It was the best one they had. Jimmy whos your best man . My son. Jimmy oh, your son. My son is my best man. Jimmy how old is your son . My son is 8 years old. Jimmy hes 8 years old. Thats going to be the worst Bachelor Party ever. I got nothing going on. Jimmy a bounce house. I just wanted to include my son and my daughter, because those are the closest people to me. This is a big day. I want them to remember this day, but i think it shows my level of love. You know, you guys are going to walk me down the aisle. Son, youre acting as my best man. Jimmy is he going to give a toast . If he wants to. He can say what he want. Im riding it out. Im going to be honest with you, man. Its not i dont have a lot of rules. I dont like i dont want the wedding to be too formal to where you cant have a good time. I want the ceremony to be tops seven minutes. Nobody want to hear that all day. I hate going to peoples weddings. You hear this and then the grandma gets up. Jimmy is this your way of getting out of writing your vows . Yes. Jimmy kevin hart is here. His movie is called central intelligence. Well be right back. Hing there. Since the beginning of time, there never seemed to be enough of it. People try to beat time. Ahhhhh but time always wins. Our greatest fear is running out of time. Theres a bomb in the salsa can we gotta get out of here my phone is still charging so if time is the most valuable thing there is, why would you waste more than you have to charging your phone . Ahhhhhhhh the galaxy s7 edge, with fast wireless charging, and our longest lasting battery. The ford freedom sales event is on with our best offers of the year im free to do what i want. And 0 financing is back on a huge selection of ford cars, trucks and suvs. Plus get an extra 1000 smart bonus on specially tagged vehicles. Thats freedom from interest. And freedom to choose with ford. Americas best selling brand. 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Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Want more proof . Ask your rheumatologist about humira. Whats your body of proof . Out out get get get grrr did you find everything okay, sir . Whaaaaat . Is happening now at red lobster. Summerfest and if you love lobster and shrimp,. Check out all these new entrees. Like new coastal lobster and shrimp. With summer ale barbeque sauce,. And new lobster and shrimp overboard. Overboard . Nah,. Its just right. So hurry in. Cottonelle asked real people their bums. Ing. What . laughs laughs what does cleanripple texture do . Catches all the stuff that you want to get out. This is really nice. This one is, like, it goes the extra step. It gets it all clean. How does being clean feel . Kind of sassy. Uh, breezy. Hands up. Weeeeeee. My bum is saying, thank you very much. Cleanripple texture is designed to clean better. Go cottonelle, go commando. Listen to me. Listen. Stop. Stop i need to know what is happening right now. Okay, okay. You know what . Moving too fast. Bottom line, are you in or are you out . What are you talking about . In or out of what . Mmmm. No time for questions. Just action. In or out . Then im out. Im sorry, jet. Actually, youre already in. Then why would you ask me . Because i thought you would go im in, bob, and we would have a cool moment, but you kind of ruined the whole thing. Thats kevin hart and Dwayne Johnson in central intelligence. It opens on friday. Boy, thats a funny movie. And you guys are very funny together. You know what, man . Hes good. Jimmy hes really funny. Hes really good. Jimmy its annoying how funny he is. It really is. That and his teeth. I dont like either one of them. The rock has some of the perfect teeth ive ever seen in my life. Jimmy he does have beautiful teeth. It bugs me. Jimmy hes supposed to be a fighter. You understand my frustration. All these years of wrestling, nobody messed up your teeth one time . Hes like nope. And hes always smiling. But its really good. The chemistry we have is unreal. Jimmy did the chemistry transfer from the screen . Like will dwayne be at your wedding . 100 , no. Jimmy no . Why . Because hes too big. All our people are small compact people. He wouldnt fit in with the size. Hell throw everything off. The balance of the room will be off. Jimmy the movie comes out friday. Fathers day weekend. Your children have a plan to celebrate you . Is there something every year my kids make a big deal over fathers day and get me the same b. S. Gift. I dont get excited. It will be something stupid like a sock with paint on it. I have to put it on. Oh, man, yall did it again. No, you didnt. I wish i could say this is a stupid gift. You know how many times i want to say that . My daughter brought me a wallet that folded eight times. I was like sweetie, i cant put this in my pocket. Shes like yes, you can. No, i cant. I argue with my daughter about the use of a wallet that wasnt a wallet. I dont care. 6 much im just going to not wake up in the morning and wait for them to get up all excited and then do something to scare them. Im just going to piss them off because they piss me off. Unless they actually get a good gift. Jimmy what would be a good gift . What could anyone buy you . You probably have everything. Thats the thing. I dont want you to buy something. I want you to be creative and make something thats going to last. Id love for my kids to make a nice little collage and put some creativity into it. You know why they cant . They have something called an ipad. It takes away creativity. Jimmy thats right. They dont play with macaroni anymore. Im my son. Talk to me. Jimmy hey, kevin, would you like to be my best man . Nah, nah, nah jimmy you could hold up a juice box for everyone. Dad, i died. I got to start over again. Jimmy its crazy. Do you let them when you go out to dinner and stuff . Do you go the hell with it no, were a big talking family. At dinner time, everything gets shut down. We have to communicate. But they have their time where they can be on the ipad. My rule is this you do what youre supposed to do in school, you bring home the grades youre supposed to bring home, i have no problem with letting you do what you want to do. Its when you stop doing what youre supposed to that i have a problem. Im not too strict on it if they do what theyre supposed to do. Im not too strict on it because they do what theyre supposed to do. When its time to talk and be a family, we need that family. Jimmy good idea. Youre a good father. Im actually the best. Jimmy kevin hart. Go see him in central intelligence. It opens friday. Well be right back with Constance Zimmer. This is my dream car. Yeah, i like this. Ive been waiting to get in this. 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Upgrade to a new pc. Youve secured the entire block but not your pc . Officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. Woo hoo over you to you tom things have gone totally around the bend. Cmmon boys rarin to go because of new doritos mix, there is boldness everywhere. [robotic voice doritos ] i quit has the world gone completely bold . New doritos mix. Four snacks in one. Kelloggs® frosted 8 layers of wheat. And one thats sweet. For the adult and kid in all of us. Kelloggs frosted miniwheats® feed your inner kidult get your fix with breolive gardensed . Two new breadstick sandwiches. Like our new spicy chicken sandwich. Try them for lunch starting at just 6. 99. Olive garden. If youve ever been lured in straight talk. By a low price wireless plan then theres not enough highspeed data or your bill is packed with overages and mystery fees. Stop falling for it with straight talks unlimited plan, you get americas largest, most dependable 4g lte networks. No contract, no tricks. And five gigs of highspeed data for just fortyfive dollars a month. Its time to ask yourself. Why havent i switched . Get a Samsung Galaxy s7 or bring your own phone. Find out more at straighttalkswitch. Com because you cant beat zero heartburn i take prilosec otc each morning for my frequent heartburn ahhh the sweet taste of victory prilosec otc. One pill each morning. 24 hours. Zero heartburn. Jimmy hi, everyone. Still to come music from fitz and the tantrums. Our next guest plays the diabolical producer of a fictional reality dating show thats based on the bachelor which is another fictional reality dating show. Its called unreal. It airs mondays at 10 00 on lifetime. Please say hello to Constance Zimmer. [ applause ] wow. Jimmy how are you doing . Im good. Jimmy i know youre friendly. Ive run into you before. But on the show youre one of the worst people in the world. Is that fair to say . Well, maybe. Jimmy your character. My character, yes. But its good. It works well. When people walk up to me and i dont want to talk to them, i can just kind of pretend that i am that mean in real life. Jimmy thats nice. Thats a nice option to have. It is. Even though i never use it. Jimmy is it fun to be mean like that in real life . You mean on the show . Jimmy on the show, yes, i should say that. It is. I mean, obviously because i do feel like i could go and be quinn and not think at all about how much is she like me . Is she quirky . Is she funny . No. Shes not anything like me. So i can really dive into it. I come one things that i dont even know where they come from. They come from that weird actor space. Sorry. Its like weird actor speak. Where you become the character and she takes over. Jimmy interesting. We lost everyone. I mean i know. Jimmy speaking of taking over. Theres a woman here who kicked her husband out of their bedroom. I saw that. [ applause ] jimmy because he snores too much. Thats right. Jimmy his snoring. Well, look, women are taking back their kingdoms. Jimmy i guess so. Thats one way of looking at it. Anyway, this show is based as i mentioned, on the bachelor. How strongly do you feel like it is based on the bachelor . I watch and go this is pure lunacy that this is happening here. Well, it is because one of the creators of our show worked on that show for over nine seasons. So for us, its really about which of it is real and which of it is not real. Jimmy do you know which of it is real and not . No. We just choose to believe that its all real so to the audience everything were doing is real and has happened. We just have to commit to it. Jimmy do you ever run into the current producers of the bachelor and whats their reaction to your show . They love it. Jimmy oh, they do . Yes. I actually just had my daughter is in basketball right now. Shes 8. So shes not really into basketball. But they were one of the parents who works in Reality Television came up to me and he said, you realize that your show should be called real. And i said, no, no, no, no, its an exaggerated version of the truth. Come on. Lets be honest. Were a little crazy on the show. He said no, no, no, the real people are worse. Jimmy oh, really . So i was like, im sorry . Jimmy i want to ask you about something that you posted on instagram, and this is well, tell us whats happening in this photograph. This is your mom, and this is my mom. Jimmy and dad . That is a lifesize Michael Jackson doll. Jimmy and this is from your childhood bedroom . Yes. I was given this doll on my on my 16th birthday. My mother drove him up. In a limousine with my stepfather dressed as a chauffeur. Jimmy why . And i had to take because in his other hand, the one that wasnt the glove i was a huge Michael Jackson fan. Let me just say that. So my mom had this doll made. And in one hand were two tickets to go see Michael Jackson in concert. And the other hand, the glove hand, was out the window. And she made me drive around the block with this doll. And i lived in newport beach. So lets just talk about it was incredibly uncomfortable. And also the windows were not tinted in this limo. I mean, it was all access. And then it lived in my bedroom for two years. Jimmy how long . This would be in your room . Youd have the lights off and then youd walk in your bedroom and this would be sitting in the corner . It was very awkward when boyfriends came over. Thats for sure. And everybody always put the hand on the crotch, because that was always jimmy thats what michael did. Yeah. What became of this figure . My mother kept it. And just recently sold it at a garage sale. Jimmy somebody bought this . I think she sold it for, like, a dollar. It was missing a shoe. It didnt have a sock. The face was starting to deteriorate. Jimmy did you ever meet Michael Jackson . I did not, but i was an extra this is as close as i got to him. I was an extra in the pepsi commercial when his hair caught on fire. Jimmy yes. Were you the one that did that to him . It was a devastating yeah. Jimmy did you actually see his hair going oh, yes. Jimmy you did . Oh, yes. We were shooting a commercial, and we were the fans in the audience. Jimmy right. I mean, he came out and the fireworks went off and one of them got attached to his hair with all the hair product and it just poof. I mean, it went up and it was like everybody jumped on him and blankets and i mean, tears. I thought he was dead. Jimmy oh, my god. I thought that was it. I was at his funeral. It was incredible. Jimmy you really you went to the funeral and everything . Did you say ill be right back, ive got a michael at my house . Wow, the whole thing, the funeral and all . Yeah. I really thought he was dead. Jimmy he wasnt dead. He turned out to be fine. This Michael Jackson, this one was dead in your room, but the other one was alive. Thats whats sad. And honestly, i think just got rid of it five years ago. Its not like it was like 15 years ago. Jimmy she probably put a lot of work into it. Its not something you just throw in the garbage. Thats what i think about. Now being a mom, when you spend a lot of money on something for your children, you feel like you have to hold on to it. You paid a lot of money. Jimmy what crazy object are you holding onto at your house . Is there something you have in mind . Maybe. Jimmy something your children dont want but you have . Yes. And ive tucked it away in a drawer. Jimmy you have . I have. Jimmy are you at liberty to say what it is . Im not quite sure. Jimmy what could it be . Its something that can fit in a drawer. Jimmy is this like a sex thing were talking about . God, i hope not. Jimmy is it his glove . Its the glove. I kept the glove. Thats right. I feel like she will appreciate it at some point. Jimmy well, congratulations, by the way, on your peabody award. Thats a great thing. The show, if you you havent seen it if you love the bachelor, this is the show for you. Its called unreal. You can watch it monday nights at 10 00 on lifetime. Constance zimmer, everyone. Well be right back with fitz and tantrums. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by samsung. People love my portobello mushroom buttery jack, made with portobello mushrooms, grilled onions, and garlic herb butter. Ever wonder how i came up with it . Well. Actually, i came up with it at the water cooler. But i thought youd like this cowboy story better. The portobello mushroom buttery jack is back. Part of the buttery jack family. Taste it before its gone. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by samsung. Jimmy i want to thank kevin hart, Constance Zimmer and i want to apologize to matt damon. We ran out of time for him. Nightline is next. But first, this is their new selftitled album. Here with the song hand clap, fitz and the tantrums turn it up somebody save your soul cause youve been sinning in this city i know too many troubles all these lovers got you losing control youre like a drug to me a luxury my sugar and gold i want the good life every good night youre a hard one to hold cause you dont even know i can make your hands clap said i can make your hands clap somebody save your soul cause youve been sinning in this city i know too many troubles all these lovers got you losing control youre like a drug to me a luxury my sugar and gold i want your sex and your affection when theyre holdin you close cause you dont even know i can make your hands clap said i can make your hands clap every night when the stars come out am i the only living soul around need to believe you could hold me down cause im in need of somethin good right now we could be screamin till the sun comes out and when we wake wed be the only sound i get on my knees and say a prayer james brown that i can make your hands clap that i can make your hands clap that i can make your hands clap my flesh is searching for your worst and best dont ever deny im like a stranger gimme me danger all your wrongs and your rights secrets on broadway to the freeway youre a keeper of crimes fear no conviction grapes of wrath can only sweeten your wine but you dont even know i can make your hands clap said i can make your hands clap every night when the stars come out am i the only living soul around need to believe you could hold me down cause im in need of somethin good right now we could be screamin till the sun comes out and when we wake wed be the only sound i get on my knees and say a prayer james brown that i can make your hands clap that i can make your hands clap that i can make your hands clap that i can make your hands clap so can i get a hand clap yeah, yeah i can make your hands clap so can i get a hand clap [ cheers and applause ] announcer tonight, a special edition of nightline, lethal force. Tonight, breaking news. Police officers become the target at a protest rally in dallas. We dont know where the hell hes at. At least five dead, seven others injured. Three suspects in custody and another actively engaged in a standoff with police. These suspects were positioning themselves in a way to triangulate on these officers from two different perches in garages in the downtown area. And planned to injury and kill as many Law Enforcement officers as they could. Meanwhile, tonight we are on the ground in baton rouge, where a community is reeling after a fa