Hope youre having an extra long weekend. Well, im glad youre in a good mood. Id like to begin with our national pastime, baseball. I think texting might be the new national pastime. Ill start with baseball anyway. In chicago this weekend, home of the cubs, one of the great franchises, great stadiums in sports. They have a tradition at wrigley field. At every cubs home game, someone, usually famous, leads the crowd in take me out of the ball game. Its a low pressure gig, youre not expected to be good, it isnt the national anthem. But you are expected to be better than warren g. Was. Take me to the ball game take me out with the crowd buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks [ applause ] jimmy i get the sense this is the first time hes heard take me out to the ball game. Speaking of games, how many of you watched game of thrones last night . [ cheers and applause ] it was a good one. If you didnt see it, plug your ears. When im finished, ill give you the sign to unplug them or more likely ill forget to give you the sign and youll be sitting there with your ears plugged for the rest of the night. Plug your ears if you havent heard and you dont want to. Last night the red woman gave john snow maybe the best haircut ever. If ever there was a super cut, this one was it. John snow was dead. She brought him back to life which means, by the way, every cast member weve had in this show over the last ten months, including the guy who plays john snow, lied to my face about this. Also john snow being dead was the only plot point on the show i understood. Now im completely lost again. [ laughter ] for those who watch game of thrones, the resurrection of john snow was a big deal. It resonated in the game of thrones community. Now as is the custom, other Television Shows are following suit. Its been a year since we said goodbye. But a new face in the hospital is about to change everything. Mcdreamy is back. Greys anatomy, only on abc. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats good news. In politics donald trump is leading ted cruz in indiana, by 15 points, according to the polls right now. This is a state cruz needs to win to stay in the race, and so far the people of indiana have welcomed him very warmly. Im running to be everyones president. Those who vote for me and dont. We dont want you. I will respect it. In fact, i will protect do the math. You asked kasich to drop out, its your turn. Take your own words. Time to drop out. Im curious, when donald doesnt get to 1,237, are you going to call for him to drop out . Hes going to get to 1237. Hes going to get more than 1237. Let me ask you something. What do you like about donald . Everything. Give me one. Give me anything. The wall. Thats the main thing. Immigration. Teds building a wall. Hold on a second. Do you know on the wall that donald told the New York Times editorial hell build a wall and hes not going to Deport Anyone . Once again, lying ted. [ laughter and applause ] that was a good interaction. It was a good lesson in there. Never get in a fight with a guy in wraparound sunglasses. Ted cruz is determined. He said its not over by a long shot, even though it is indeed over by a long shot. New york city wants this race to be over. The new york power brokers want this race to be over. The washington lobbyists want this race to be over. Jimmy Everyone Wants this race to be over. [ cheers and applause ] probably even you, enough already. And this is fantastic. This is what happened to teds running mate, carly fiorina, when she introduced him yesterday. Keep your eye on carly here. The next president of the united states, ted cruz. Jimmy heidi cruz is waving. No one notices shes still down there. No one bends down to help. There she is. Shes back. Maybe that will be a metaphor for their campaign, like whackamole. Uber is testing out a new feature. Uber is the car pickup service. Theyre going to start charging passengers a fee if you show up more than two minutes after the car shows up to get you. Apparently this happens a lot. The drivers have to wait for the people to come downstairs and during that time they dont get paid. That annoys them. It used to be told we were told to be to the get in a car with a stranger, now its get in a car with a stranger within two minutes or else. But it makes sense. Im fine with getting charged with paying for making a driver wait for me more than two minutes, but then when its says hes two minutes away and i watch him on the little map driving in circles for 28 minutes, i want to be compensated for that. [ cheers and applause ] i want them to pay me. But uber is very serious about that. You have two minutes to get in that car or else. At uber weve been taking your abuse for years. Youre rude. You leave garbage in our cars, and you puke on our seats. Come on. Well, guess what . We can be jerks too. From now on when the driver arrives, our clock starts ticking. He can wait. If youre two minutes late, well charge you. If youre three minutes late, well throw a brick through your window. And if youre four minutes late, well ram a car into your [ bleep ] house. Its time to realize the world doesnt resolve around you. You got any of those little waters . No dude, dude screw uber. If you dont like it, walk. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh well. I dont know if you heard this, but Warner Brothers made a big announcement today. Theyre making a sequel to space jam. Remember that . This time starring lebron james. In this one lebron james travels back in time to try to stop steph currys parents from conceiving. We have a very good show tonight. The return of mashup monday. This is where we combine two bands who have no business being combined to form one giant musical pun. Tonight the band, of monsters and many and colin hay from men at work will perform as of monsters and men at work. [ cheers and applause ] it sounds great. It sounded great at rehearsal. I wasnt sure if this one was going to work out. I asked if hed do it. He smiled and gave me a veg might sandwich, which was disgusting by the way. So of monsters and men at work tonight. And from bones, Emily Deschanel and the great and powerful dr. Oz. This is important. Weve had some incidents. If anyone has anyone infected they want dr. Oz to look at, please wait until hes walking out to his car out back. I need dr. Ozs advice on something. The insides of my ears are constantly itching, and i am im addicted to qtips. If i dont have them, ill use paper clips or stick my fingers in there. Two weeks ago i was at a kings playoff game. I was fortunate enough that the camera captured this. Jimmy kimmel, sitting beside him, jerry bruckheimer, bigtime hockey fan. As a matter of fact, just to drop names, mike [ laughter and applause ] jimmy i didnt know that was happening. From now on i dont leave my house. I just stay at home surrounded by my little army of qtips protecting me from everyone. I need to ask if putting things in your ears is bad for you, why does it feel so very, very good. We have to take a break. When we come back, its been a long time. Finally i have had enough of this sarah palin. Ill explain why in a minute. Stick around. I believe you will be glad you did. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] for over 100 years like kraft has,cious natural cheese you learn a lot about peoples tastes. Honey, what do you want for dinner tonight . Oh, whatever youre making. Cheesy chipotle pork quesadillas . Mmmm. Ravioli lasagna bake . Yeah, i dont know. Grilled white chicken. Grab something rich, sharp and creamy. Triple cheddar stuffed sliders. Sold we aim to cheese kraft natural cheese we make cheese for how you love cheese. Not yet, im. Folding the laundry can you . 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Know. Ahh and take control of your health. Cigna. Together, all the way. [ cheers and applause ] mike hi there, welcome back to the show. Tonight on the show, its mashup monday with music from of monsters and men at work, from bones Emily Deschanel is here. I want to talk about sarah palin. Remember her . The former governor of alaska, the big hair. Anyway, shes been making the rounds lately, promoting an antiClimate Change documentary. A movie called climate hustle. Sarah palin is supporting it. I want people to feel empowered to ask questions about whats being fed to them by the Science Community that something is not making a whole lot of sense when it comes to inconsistent data being produced and fed especially to our children when it comes to Global Warming or Climate Change, whatever theyre calling it today. That was one sentence, by the way. Mike that was one sentence, by the way, one very long, very dumb sentence. And heres another one. Its perpetuated and repeated so often that too many people believe that oh, well, if 97 of all scientists believe that mans activities are creating changes in the weather, who am i to question that . Jimmy exactly. Who are you to question that . [ applause ] heres the thing i have a theory. I think maybe sarah palin wants Global Warming. Its cold in alaska. It would be welcome up there. The idea that she knows more than 97 of scientists is offensive and dangerous. No matter what sarah palin and these geniuses she surrounds herself with try to tell you, Climate Change is not a liberal versus conservative thing. But the people who profit from ignoring it want you to believe it is. In general, politicians on the left believe humans are the causing Climate Change, but this isnt a matter of political opinion. Its a matter of scientific opinion. In this case, overwhelming scientific opinion. 2014 was the warmest year ever until 2015 became the warmest year ever. Now 2016 might turn out to be even warmer than any of those. You know how you know when Climate Change is real, when the hottest year on record is whatever year it currently is, thats how you know. [ applause ] weve had 15 of the last of the hottest years ever since 2001. Thats not an opinion. Its a fact. For some reason whether or not humans are contributing to this has become a left versus right issue. The politicians debate it. Our scientists dont. A huge majority of climate Scientists SayClimate Change is happening. They say were causing it and we need to do something about it before it has a terrible effect on all of us. Theres no debate about the greenhouse effect, just like theres no debate about gravity. If someone shows a piano off the roof, i dont care what sarah palin tells you, get out of the way. Its coming down on your head. [ applause ] jimmy theres a thick circle of manmade gases around the planet. Like a snow globe, holding heat in. And i do want to be fair. This isnt bad news for everyone. For example, Climate Change is great for anyone who would like to get swallowed by the ocean. For everyone else, its good for aqua man. Its bad for us. Nasa says that 97 of climate scientists agree that the warming we are experiencing is likely due to human activity. Thats nasa. Its on their website. Climate. Nasa. Gov. 97 of climate scientists agree on this. And 97 of scientists dont agree on much. Even one out of five dentists dont agree on sugarless gum for their patients that chew gum, but almost half our representatives in washington apparently know more about science than our scientists do, or they pretend to, because they get big money from corporations to make sure they can keep doing the destructive things that they do. The idea that this is a left wing conspiracy what if i decided to deny the existence of yogurt . Think about it. Ive seen the containers. I just dont believe theres anything in them. I believe yogurt is a conspiracy created by john stamos. That guy is insane. And i would be insane. [ applause ] but this is not that different than that. To me the big question is either you believe in science or you dont. Why do we believe scientists when it comes to molecules and the speed of light and cialis, but not this . Because members of congress who we dont even like, by the way, because people who take money from companies that make pollution for a living told us not to worry about it. And i know ill get beaten over the head by every whacko website and i know there will be a lot of what the hell do you know . Go back to girls jumping on trampolines. This is not about what i know. This is about what scientists know. I hope for the next two minutes, put your political leanings aside. Forget about whether youre a republican or a democrat, forget the labels and Pay Attention to the following message. Decide for yourself. The people are scientists and americans and not part of some imaginary conspiracy. Theyre just a smarter version of us. Watch this and if at the end you disagree, while were all under water, i hope youre the last one that gets a snorkel. Hi. Im a paleo climatologist and a isotope gio chemist. Im a climate scientist. Im a hydroclimatologist. Im a polar ecologist. Im chuck taylor and im an environmental analytical chemist. Im john dorsey. Im a marine environmental scientist. Over the past 40 years thousands of scientists have studied Climate Change. Definitely happening. And its caused by human beings. Thats you and me. The consequences could be extremely dire. Catastrophic. Apocalyptic. And heres the thing, when we tell you all this, were not [ bleep ] you. Were not [ bleep ]ing with you. Definitely not [ bleep ] with you. Why would we [ bleep ] with you . Think about it. If i wanted to screw with people, do you think i would have gone into Climate Science . If we were [ bleep ] with you, im sure we could do a lot better than Climate Change. Id tell you a meteor was come and try to sell you a helmet. We know about this stuff. We have ph. D. S. This is science. This is not a prank. This is not a prank. Once i locked a buddy in a portapotty and then pushed it over, now thats a prank. Just to sum up, Global Warming, real. Its real. Manmade. Caused by carbon pollution. Temperatures soaring. Oceans rising. Ice melting. For real. Were not [ bleep ] with you. Were not [ bleep ] with you. Were not [ bleep ] with you. Believe us if not for our generation, than for his. You mother [ bleep ] better not [ bleep ] this up. Paid for by people who know more than you do. [ laughter and applause ] mike Climate Change is real. Wrestling is fake. Okay . Now on with the show. We have a good show. Its mashup monday with music from of monsters and men at work, from bones, Emily Deschanel is here and well be right back with dr. Oz. So stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ght. When systems can help sense your surroundings. And when cameras change your perspective. Thats the more human side of engineering. Experience what a lincoln can do for you at the lincoln spring collection event. Your choice of the lincoln mkc or mkz for 289 a month, or get 0 apr for 60 months. Lean on me by telekinesis mcdonalds quarter pounder with cheese seared on our grill and made with 100 real beef with no preservatives, fillers, or additives. Dont you just love it and with touch id it does way more than unlock your phone. It logs you into things, like your bank account. See what i mean . It checks you into your flight. Ooop, your phone it pays for stuff like. mouth full doughnuts. How about chew then talk. It unlocks things for you. It signs documents for you. Hey, you bought a boat i bought a boat i just said that. And it does this. Yeah, it starts your car. So now were just starting cars with our fingerprints. Just. Whoa. Introducing new mist twst soda popped with juice. Its a crisp, refreshing twist on lemon lime. Insist on the twist. Jimmy i want to have that thing that you see in the movie, where the cops like, why are you going so fast . My wifes about to have a baby and hes like, get behind me you wish your dog could fight off fleas and ticks. But since he cant. You rely on frontline plus. Because frontline plus unleashes a deadly killing force to kills fleas and ticks, plus flea eggs and larvae, preventing a new flea infestation. Its protection lasts a full 30 days. No wonder frontline plus is recommended by vets for killing fleas and ticks. After all, your dog is a lover not a fighter. Frontline plus. Vet recommended flea and tick killer. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy tonight from the show bones, which is now in its 48th season, Emily Deschanel is here. Then of monsters and men team up with colin hay of men at work to form of monsters and men at work from the samsung stage. [ cheers and applause ] and they sound great. This might be the best mashup monday ever. Tomorrow adam carolla will be here, lucy boynton will join us, and well have music from the avett brothers. And later this week julie bowen, rob lowe, chloe bennet, Wyatt Russell and music from bebe rexha and florida georgia line. So please join us then. [ cheers and applause ] anytime our first guest tonight slaps on his purmel exam gloves, you know something exciting is about to happen. Hes the host of an emmywinning show by day and he has agreed to write medical marijuana prescriptions for everybody in our audience tonight. [ cheers and applause ] please welcome dr. Mehmet oz [ cheers and applause ] jimmy first i want to say congratulations. You won another emmy. Last night. Jimmy how many do you have now . Its my seventh emmy. The big challenge last night was my stiffest competition has become my daughter. Jimmy she was nominated against you . In the exact same category. Last year she beat me and i had to eat these crazy fried oreo things, it was torture. Jimmy thats the bet . Yeah, those are the bets we do all the time. This year, she has this pudding that has more calories in it per spoonful than anything ever created before. I have to take 1,000 calories of that. If i win, she would have to do burpies. Jimmy whats burpies . You dont know what a burpy is . Come on down. [ cheers and applause ] youll like this. It puts hair on your chest. Jimmy i got enough hair. Its straightforward. Jimmy, its the best exercise ever. Look at the enthusiasm. Jimmy i dont want to do it. Look at the enthusiasm. Oh, god, stop begging. Its come to this. Jimmy all right. What do we do . Just one of them. What is it . You jump up. Then you go down, do a push up, and go up and jump up like that. Well do three. Ready . Cheer him on now. Cheer him on. [ applause ] come on now. Do one. Jimmy my pants are too tight. What do i have to do . Tell me again. Im not coordinated and i cant remember things like this. Tell you what, start with the pushup. Jimmy that i can do. All right. Lets see your big strong manly muscles. Go down, up, legs together, and up. And highfive. [ applause ] i have a question for you. Jimmy i have a question for you. Why is it that you losing a bet, i would take that if i won the bet. I mean, it sounds like a good thing to eat the pudding or whatever your daughter made. You feel like stool the rest of the day. Its terrible. Jimmy no, i dont. But the challenge is there are two emmys were competing in. She won one and i won one. Perfect, right . Do we both do the challenge or none of us . Jimmy nobody has to do either of the things. Is that what you guys think . [ applause ] jimmy ill eat whatever it was she was going to make. And then everybodys happy. What a peacemaker. Jimmy do you eat any junk food . I cant imagine you polishing off a bucket of wings. Or anything like that. Well, for example, dessert is metabolic suicide. Jimmy is it . Yeah, humans didnt really eat dessert until 500 years ago. The rich castle dwellers would have little snacks when they went home the next day, and that, of course, they cheated and began eating them up that night. To remind them how sweet the meal was. Theres no reason to have dessert. It doesnt make any sense. Jimmy of course theres no reason to have dessert. No reason to get a massage either. I mean massage has dividends. Jimmy it does . Yes. Jimmy youre probably talking about one of them sex massages. [ laughter ] that too. Jimmy is there anything you miss, like was there a time in your life when you had french fries . You dont like them . I dont like french fries. I like german chocolate cake. French fries are too jimmy you dont like french fries . No. Jimmy im going to have your dna tested and make sure youre a human being. Really . No. Jimmy i dont think ive ever met anybody who doesnt like them. What about pizza . The right pizza. Jimmy the right pizza . Yeah. Too much oil and grease, i dont like it. I think about whats happening in my body. Jimmy stop that. [ laughter ] bad things are happening in there. Jimmy how bad could it be, really . Thinking its bad makes it worse, right . True. I grant you that. So if youre going to have that kind of stuff, i think you ought to adore it and love it. If youre going to have a better time eating it than not, and its not sigh cotically crazy like my daughters pudding that she was going to force me to eat, then no. Were doing a truth food series on the show. Were going to crazy things and looking at why doesnt chicken today taste the same as a generation ago, and whats the other half of half and half . You ever think about that . Jimmy what is the other half . Latex paint, right . [ laughter ] im trying to figure it out. The best example is beer. Everyone has a light beer. Its more health conscious. Light beer is basically white bread but the beer version. Take all the good stuff out an and youre left with stuff thats not quite worth it. Jimmy oh. So drink a regular beer . Yeah. That stout that you have backstage jimmy the guinness . That has 15 calories more than light beer. And less than regular beer. Its basically less than a teaspoon of extra sugar in that whole beer. I drank a couple backstage just to relax. Jimmy thats good. We finally and it has all the nutrients. Jimmy finally good news here. And let me ask you another question. Why is it that hotdogs come in packages of ten, but the buns are only eight . What gives . What is that about . We got to get to the bottom of it. Jimmy i think you have to ask seinfeld in 1986. [ laughter ] exactly. Jimmy were going to take a break. When we come back, i want to talk to you about my ears. Theyre driving me crazy. I dont know if you saw the ill show the clip again in case you missed it. I saw it, everyone saw it. Jimmy dr. Oz is here, well be right back. [ cheers and applause ] the beach. 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With ten gigs of 4g lte data each. For just thirtyfive bucks per line. From tmobile. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy the dr. Oz show airs weekdays in syndication. Emily deschanel is coming up, and of monsters and men at work. We talked about this. I asked you this question on your show. Why is it, first of all, why do qtips exist if theyre not good for you . I brought you one. Jimmy thank you. I need more than one. Belly button lint could work. I could see you doing things jimmy i only use it for my ears. Show me what you do. Jimmy by the way, this is a cheap plastic qtip. This would not be one that i use in my home. [ laughter ] i just go like this, sometimes i do two can i have another one please. Jimmy because im very busy. [ laughter ] i go like this, and i have to tell you you lost it in there. Look how deep theyre going. Thats terrible. Jimmy yes. Now, doesnt everybody do this . No. Lets go through this quick. First of all, earwax is actually sweat, just a little thicker. Look at that. Jimmy i got nothing. My ears are so clean, youll see nothing came off. If i ever get anything, its a thrill. Ill usually keep it on the sink. I will. Ill keep it only sink so i can look at it for a little while. You know the yellow . When you really got into it nicely . Jimmy yeah, yeah. That stuff is actually sweat thats supposed to be there. Its a little stickier because its supposed to catch all the sand. When the kimmels of yore were going across the sahara, it would protect them. The qtips stimulate you well in an erotic part of the body. Jimmy youre making me want to go for them again. [ laughter ] let me see your fingers. Let me see them. They are designed perfectly to clean your ears. And your pinky is the exact size that you want to not go too deeply into your ear. But still get what you want. Jimmy i can do this . I got you an example. Guillermo, come over here. Jimmy he has the cutest ear lobes youll see on a man or woman either. Chubby little ear lobes that are a delight. Let me see your ear. Come closer. Take your pinkie come sit next to me. Dont be a stranger. Jimmy really. Dr. Oz will squeeze your testicles. Thats right. And they were like raisinets, they were night. Jimmy they were delicious. Get in there like that, and watch his eyes. Guillermo, youre supposed to do me. Otherwise, its not like three monkeys on a stool. Get in there. Guillermo i dont want to hurt you. You cant do damage with your fingers. Describe that. What does that feel like . Jimmy is that a handkerchief . Its yours. I borrowed it. Jimmy i feel like im having a gay experience right now. [ laughter ] this is my first threesome. You got a little stuff there, and the ear will push the other wax out so when its ready to be taken out, it comes out. Otherwise, you get the qtips, theyre like a front end muzzle loader and you jam the wax in the eardrum and sometimes you poke a hole in the eardrum. Thats not so fun. Jimmy i have done that. Ive punctured my eardrum before. But i cant stop. My wife hides the qtips but i find them and i get them and crave them and love them. Hes addicted to eargasms. Guillermo why . Why . Jimmy what, are you a doctor all of a sudden . Yeah. Jimmy you dont do this . You dont use qtips . I do, but i just go on the outside. Jimmy the outside . Thats what it says on the box. Who listens to the box . Guillermo you got to follow the instructions. Dr. Guillermo knows. Jimmy meanwhile, look at you, youre 50 pounds overweight. What are you talking about . Thats different. Were not talking about my weight. Jimmy are you eating q tips . I have an idea. Bbq tips. You could actually have a little flavor. Maybe the guys from blacks bbq, can put together something that i could go like this in these ears and then chew on them. Too much . Oh, that was terrible. Jimmy ill take it to shark tank, theyll like it. Thank you so much, dr. Oz. I dont know if im going to heed your advice in this particular area. But its a pleasure always. Dr. Oz, everybody, well be right back with Emily Deschanel. [ cheers and applause ] all the best stuff happens in the dark. Theres dancing and music in the dark. People are younger and better looking in the dark. See . People wear their most stylish and glamorous clothes in the dark. In the dark, people gain an irrational sense of invincibility. Bowling is less sad, and making out is much more likely. So if all this good stuff happens in the dark, wouldnt you want a camera that can capture things. In the dark . The new galaxy s7 edge with lowlight camera. Give extra. Get extra. Ryou know, from Car Insurance sacompanies shouting, save 500 bucks over here. No, save 300 bucks over here. Wait, save 400 bucks right here. With so many places offering so much buck saving, where do you start . Well, esurance was born online, raised by technology, and majors in efficiency. So, theyre actually built to save you money, and when they save, you save. Thats auto and Home Insurance for the modern world. Esurance, an allstate company. Click or call. Padvil pm gives you the healingu at nsleep you need, it. Helping you fall asleep and stay asleep so your body can heal as you rest. Advil pm. For a healing nights sleep. Over here, kids. You. Here. In you go. Thank you. Show traffic. Life is a sport. We are the utility. Be unstoppable. Yeah ahh. You probably say it a million times a day. Ahh. Ahh ahh. Ahh but at cigna, we want to help everyone say it once a year. Say ahh. Ahh. Cigna medical plans cover one hundred percent of your innetwork annual checkup. So america, lets go. Know. Ahh and take control of your health. Cigna. Together, all the way. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were back, while dr. Oz protects the live of his fellow men, our next guest takes care of the dead ones. She plays forensic anthropologist dr. Temperance brennan on bones. Watch it thursday nights on fox. Please welcome Emily Deschanel. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how are you doing . What is your position on qtips . Do you go in . I used to be maybe not as obsessive as you, but i used to go in and clean, and then i had a doctor who looked in my ear and could see. He said it was like cream cheese in there and that i was taking bits of cream cheese, and that kind of did it for me and i stopped. It was hard. I had to sit on my hands. Jimmy it was. How long did it take . Ive tried to break the habit. Its not working. They get itchy or something. You just want to go in. It probably took a few months. Jimmy forget it. [ laughter ] you can do it. Jimmy i dont want to dwell on it. I dont think i can do it. I have faith in you. Jimmy how is everything . You and your sister had babies a month apart . Two months apart. Jimmy did you plan that . No. We called each other up no. Jimmy and from different husbands . To be clear, yes, different husbands. Jimmy is that a good thing . I would imagine thats something sisters would dream of happening. Its wonderful. We couldnt have planned it better. Its amazing except for the fact that we even work on the same lots and we bring our babies to work and yet its hard to get them together. Jimmy why . One will be down for a nap and then one is up. And then vice versa. They take so many naps. Jimmy the napping is rigid. You cant time their naps so it syncs them up . Just so they can see their cousin . I dont know. Maybe im more like lucy goosey, but i let them nap when theyre tired, rather than having a strict schedule. Jimmy so you never see each other anymore . On the weekend sometimes. Jimmy thats a lot of fun. When theyre older, there will be more time because there wasnt be as many naps. Jimmy how long have you been shooting bones . 11 years. Jimmy thats unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] 11 seasons of the show. Are you shooting right now . We just finished last week. Jimmy and youre doing one more season. One more season. 12 episodes for our 12th season. And well get to like 246 episodes. They couldnt give us 250 episodes. Jimmy really . Yeah. Jimmy did you want 250 . I dont know. Im happy with 12. Jimmy bye, everybody, have a nice 12 years. But when youve been doing that, playing this forensic scientist, playing somebody that deals with dead people, do you feel like you could handle a dead body, if you came across one . Would you know what to do . Would you be fearful . Has it had any practical effect . I dont have any delusions about my abilities, but and i havent had much opportunity to deal with them. Jimmy you havent . But i will say that my grandparents both passed away in the last few years. Jimmy im sorry. Oh, isnt that wonderful . [ laughter ] and my, i dont know if you know, but now you can be cremated in the catholic church. Jimmy i didnt know you couldnt. You had to be buried for a long time. Jimmy is that right . Yes. Now you can be cremated. Jimmy even before you died . Hopefully not. [ laughter ] hopefully not. Probably not. Jimmy so your grandparents decided they were cremated when my grandmother passed away, we put their ashes together, and each of the family members could choose if they wanted a little urn or a medium size urn for, like, my mom. So i got a little urn. My mom got a bigger urn. And we were coming back and my mom asked me to ship i had a lot of tchotchkes after my grandmother died that were hers, like an easter bunny, really important stuff. And so my mom asked me to ship back her urn. Jimmy uhhuh. And, um, so i i felt a little nervous about it. I didnt know if you were allowed to do that. So i went to ups, and it was one of the ups places that will pack it for you because it had other tchotchkes. Jimmy right, yeah. Like a mailboxes et cetera . Yeah. Similar. Jimmy thats serious et cetera, by the way. [ laughter ] my mom thought you could totally mail it. I brought it there and tried to act casual, like this is just normal stuff, and then the woman noticed it and asked what it was. I said oh, its an urn. Like you put other things in urns. Jimmy nothing else goes in an urn. And she said is that human remains, which is just terrible to hear your grandparents referred to as human remains. Jimmy yeah, right. First of all. Jimmy were all still a little startled by your announcement of their death. [ laughter ] they were amazing people, and they lived way into their 90s. Jimmy and now they live on your fireplace. They do. And she and then she said are these laum human remains . I had to be honest. I said yes. So then she went and had to call headquarters, and theres people walking in, theres a line, and shes like and shes loud about it too. Shes like, can we ship human remains . No . Okay. Okay. And so i couldnt ship them, blah blah blah. Jimmy what did you do with them . But im paying for it, and at the end shes like im a fan of the show. She said it really quietly, but loudly about the human remains. Jimmy imagine her going back to her friends and family and saying Emily Deschanel brought in human remains. Just like bones its unbelievable. [ laughter and applause ] its a great story. Jimmy congratulations on the show. Its unbelievable. Its, of course, still airing thursday nights 8 00 on fox. Its called bones. Emily deschanel, everybody. Well return with mashup monday music from of monsters and men at work. [ cheers and applause ] dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. Samsung. You wish your dog could fight off fleas and ticks. But since he cant. You rely on frontline plus. Because frontline plus unleashes a deadly killing force to kills fleas and ticks, plus flea eggs and larvae, preventing a new flea infestation. Its protection lasts a full 30 days. No wonder frontline plus is recommended by vets for killing fleas and ticks. After all, your dog is a lover not a fighter. Frontline plus. Vet recommended flea and tick killer. Disinfect with lysol bathroom toilet gtrigger. Just stay in the toilet. And lysol power foamer. Theyre approved to kill 50 more types of germs. To clean and disinfect your bathroom. Lysol that. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by samsung. Jimmy id like to thank my guests and apologize to matt damon. We did run out of time for him. Nightline is next but first, a its mashup monday and i think youre gonna love this one. Here they are, of monsters and men at work i dont like Walking Around this old and empty house so hold my hand ill walk with you my dear the stair creak its keeping me awake its the house telling you to close your eyes and some days i cant even dress myself its killing me to see you this way the truth may carry this ship and our bodies safe to shore living in a land down under women love men ponder cant you hear, cant you hear that thunder you better run traveling in a friedout kombi on a hippie trail head full of zombies met a strange lady she made me nervous she took me in and gave me breakfast she said do you come from a land down under where women glow and men plunder cant you hear, cant you hear that thunder you better run you better take cover dont listen to a word i say living in a land down under the screams all sound the same where women love and men plunder cant you hear, cant you hear that thunder you better run, you better take cover dont listen to a word i say living in a land down under women glow, women glow cant you hear, cant you hear that thunder you better run, you better take cover better run, better take cover ah cause you cant fall cant fall you love, love, love with you no one can fall oh oh oh you better run oh oh oh night after day love love love [ cheers and applause ] blockbuster. This is nightline. Tonight this man collected disability, claiming he was totally blinded by a workplace accident. So how can he be driving a pickup truck . Or this man, also claiming to be blind. Driving a boat. How much are these disability cheats really costing you . We go in search of answers. Hi there, sir . Plus, its shark tank meets infomercial. Well take you inside the pitchathon, where todays basement inventors hope to turn their wild ideas into the next big thing. This would be huge. This would be our thing. And rough stuff. Its finals season. How stressed out College Students are coping with pressure, with a little puppy