Transcripts For KGO Jimmy 20240628

And now, jiminy glick [ cheers and applause ] jiminy how wonderful wonderful applaud yourselves look at that, look at the band. Oh [ cheers and applause ] shut up thank you hello and welcome to jiminy kimmel live. [ laughter ] ha ha ha im your host jiminy glick. And let me just start [ cheers and applause ] thank you. This is amazing. Let me just start by saying how excited i am to be host of a show i love so much. Although ive never seen it. [ laughter ] but word gets back from those who have that its wonderful. Filled with edge. Speaking of edge, look whos here, guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo, such an exotic look. Youre like a cross between Burt Reynolds and a pikachu. [ laughter ] is it true that jimmy found you floating down a river in a basket . Guillermo no. Jiminy we have a good show, we have a wonderful show. Not as good as we had hoped. Not bad, but not great. Because just an hour ago, my superstar celebrity guest canceled. So, for those of you who came to los angeles to see my dear friend, guy fieri, im sorry. [ laughter ] but i did find two lastminute replacements. Their names are Melissa Mccarthy and nick kroll. [ cheers and applause ] ha ha ha i know. I know, im devastated too. But well have to just do it, were stuck. One thing ive learned in all my years in hollywood, is the show must go on. [ cheers and applause ] and the other thing ive learned is that if you try and take the keys away from a slightly inebriated andy dick, hell bite you on the knuckles [ laughter ] he really will. All right, lets get ready to hear some hot gossip from tinseltown. Who wants to hear hot goss . Hot goss, everyone. Its time for hollywood headlines. [ cheers and applause ] well start with news of one of hollywoods heaviest hitters. Fresh prince of bel air star will smith is set to perform a new song at the b. E. T. Awards this weekend. You know, my very First Television appearance was a red carpet correspondent at the b. E. T. Awards. I had a discussion with the wonderful and often misunderstood busta rhymes [ laughter ] about his worldfamous lemon meringue pie. And i just love the b. E. T. S in fact, i have type two diab. E. Ts [ rimshot ] [ applause ] next up, tom hanks is reuniting with director Robert Zemeckis for their fifth film together. Zemeckis directed hanks in forrest gump, which i believe is the only movie about vietnam to be turned into a chain of whimsical shrimp restaurants. [ laughter ] by the way, i once had a threelegged shih tzu named lieutenant dan. [ laughter ] ill just throw that in things come to me, and i throw them in. Should we do one more . Ha ha ha [ cheers and applause ] another on screen duo is getting back together. Lindsay lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis are now shooting freaky friday 2. The freakiest friday i ever had was a shabbat dinner on epstein island. [ laughter ] that was a weekend from hell. Im not going to go into that. And those were the hollywood headlines [ cheers and applause ] of course, of course, of course, of course, of course the top story tonight was the president ial debate between donald trump and joe biden. The moderators were cnns jake tapper and dana bash. Doesnt that sound like an old cop show from the 80s . [ laughter ] tapper and bash. Freeze [ laughter ] but you know who would have made an even better moderator . Me [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ive worked with many president s. Oh my gosh, that is so true. That is so true, what i just said to you. Ive worked with so many president s over the years. In fact, my very first job was as a young speechwriter for president nixon. [ laughter ] there we are with elvis. And they said i would be the one to die on the toilet. Its so unfair. [ laughter ] im also dear friends with george w. Bush who calls me his muse. [ laughter ] and i even got to know our favorite president , donald jumanji trump. [ laughter ] what a guy. Hes a spirit with an attitude. And i like that. And maybe that isnt a popular thing to say here in hollyweird, especially when youre hosting the jimmy kimmel show, but its true. Jimmys always so negative about mr. Trump. And that makes me so mad and so sad. This man was our president , hello [ laughter ] hes about to be our president again, and maybe hes still our president , i dont know. I dont know, im just sharing what i saw on my crystal healers facebook page. [ laughter ] but jeff, why does jimmy kimmel have to be so onesided . Why not talk about the issues that really matter . Like hillarys emails. Benghazi. Deepstate pizzagate. And where is hunter . Ill tell you where having a threesome with antifa and taylor swift. [ laughter ] jimmys always punching down at mr. Trump. But tonight, i want to lift him up with a musical salute to a man whose only crime is trying to make America Great again. Again. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] cranky doodle went to town to call the news a phony stuck white letters on red hats and called it magaroni cranky doodle youre so tan cranky doodle dandy stop the steal and lock her up and with the girls be handsy [ laughter ] cranky doodle wont concede cause they rigged the election so they stormed the capitol twas hardly insurrection cranky doodle youre so smart windmills do cause cancer youre a stable genius and a very sexy dancer [ laughter and applause ] cranky doodle went to court to fight a crooked system is it really donalds fault that stormy cant resist him cranky doodle drained the swamp got rid of all the leakers built a mighty border wall in glitzy golden sneakers [ applause ] cranky doodle make us great be the one who frees us youre our bigly burger king our sweet orange baby jesus cranky doodle has our vote by your side were standin go and take the white house back and well shout lets go brandon [ cheers and applause ] go and take the white house back and well shout lets go brandon [ cheers and applause ] jiminy well be right back with Melissa Mccarthy [ cheers and applause ] jiminy ha ha ha ha applaud yourselves youre the wonderful ones youre the wonderful ones welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live. Im jiminy glick. [ laughter ] tonight, a man my sources tell me is a talented comedian who voices cartoons to pay off his gambling debts [ laughter ] from something called big mouth, nick kroll is with us. [ cheers and applause ] ha ha and then later, later, a band from guillermos native mehheeco, their album comes out tomorrow, and its named after what i always tell the staff at krispy kreme keep me fed. Ha ha ha ha [ cheers and applause ] music from the warning all right. Our first guest is a twotime emmy award0winner and selfproclaimed movie star who next brings her talents to only murders in the building. Season four premieres august 27th on hulu. Please welcome the wonderful Melissa Mccarthy. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jiminy ha ha ha well. Jiminy this is so exciting. Its exciting. Jiminy i love seeing you again. Do you . [ laughter ] do you . Jiminy were not going to just go there, are we . Well, we didnt. Back in the day. Why would we now . [ laughter ] jiminy what is your story . Lets hear your version what was you think happened, missy . I think i was new to town. I think i needed a good review. I made some bad choices. Im not proud of it. [ laughter ] jiminy it was 1 00 in the morning when you came aknocking. [ laughter ] well, i i just method you needed clean towels. [ laughter ] jiminy afterwards, i did. [ laughter ] it was all [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] it was something are you familiar with silken tofu . [ laughter ] the consistency where you cant think its solid, but it almost seems like your fingers can go right through it. [ laughter ] and ive never had tofu since. [ laughter ] true story. Jiminy i tell you, something went through something. Because i have seen photos, miss, photo of your eldest son, tren son. Can we see tren son and see if he doesnt look like [ laughter ] [ applause ] i dont see it. Jiminy yes. I personally just look at that and i see jiminy a sexy, macho richard greco. [ laughter ] but anyway jiminy im thrilled that youre here. You look so pretty. Thank you. Jiminy i just im grabbing to no. [ laughter ] jiminy i want to adjust the knobs and see if the picture can get better, thats all. You are an absolute gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous girl. How have you not been just sued . [ laughter ] jiminy sued . I can almost smell the lawsuit. Jiminy oh my god, and this coming from a flat earther right here. [ laughter ] its got to end somewhere. [ laughter ] jiminy its been a strange journey for you, hasnt it . Well a little bit here and there. Jiminy i mean, you want to be on the top. Youre always in the middle. [ laughter ] how does that make you feel . Above you. [ cheers and applause ] jiminy ha ha ha ha shes confident, this ladys confident, you cant put her down. Trust me, i tried that night. [ laughter ] now, it was very interesting, though. Because youve had this fabulous career. Oh. Jiminy and you were nominated for an oscar, for i think for the first time i think no, it was also helen hayes early on. It was bette davis and you who defecated in the sink. [ laughter ] as most of the classists thats the storyline in all the classes, usually. Jiminy now youre oh my god, youre youre on broadway what are you doing on broadway . Im not actually on it. But i invested in a show jiminy you invested. Called suffs for the suffragists. Jiminy i dont care what the critics call it. If they say it sucks, it sucks. Suffs. Jiminy i hear Hillary Clintons in it. These not in it. Jiminy shes doing wardrobe . Yes, she hems. She does tailoring. Jiminy what does she do . Shes one of the producers. Shes an investor in it. Jimmy whats she like . Shes really vivacious. Jiminy shes vivacious. She is. Jimmy god, i dont know what that word means. [ laughter ] bubbly. I thought she would be more serious, and shes really funny and kind of bubbly. She was really fun. I was so nervous to meet her. Jiminy its a big hit, i hear, a big hit on broadway. Its incredible. Its funny, its heartbreaking, its jiminy is it as much 1 as the wiz . [ laughter ] the wiz is fun. The wiz is based on what if the witches knew each other early on . And before you know it thats not the wiz. Jiminy shh, im talking. [ laughter ] suddenly, one has green face and shes very bitter. The wiz were talking about. I thought they were talking about oh. Jiminy oh. Oh. Jiminy suddenly its fine to attack me . I think so. Jiminy i guess because womens lib has changed everything, hasnt it . Oh r also, youre just very attackable. Jiminy oh, i know. I remember that night when you delivered the towels, trust me. [ cheers and applause ] but i will tell you truthfully. Yes . Jiminy i know we have a history. And i know that we have a sexual we did the deed one night. [ laughter ] ill tell you, you still take my breath away. My wife, dixie, will take my breath away. Thats because she rolls over sometimes and sleeps on the sleep apnea cord, thats different. Paragraph laugh thats a different kind of or is she rolling over or kind of holding it . [ laughter ] holding it there . Jiminy its very quickly. What is your no tipping policy . [ laughter ] i do tip. Jiminy you do tip. I was a waitress forever, so i think im a generous tipper jiminy i think you remember i tip. I couldnt feel it, so im not sure. [ laughter and applause ] i thought it might have been inverted, but i couldnt [ laughter ] i couldnt get a visual. Jiminy hey, what was it like working on only murders in the building . Almost everybody was great. [ laughter ] [ applause ] there was one, you know you hear things about, canadians are so nice, canadians are so nice. [ laughter ] jiminy oh. Well. I dont know if its true. I got a real squirrelly feeling. Jiminy i want to go pack to your past. I want to go back to your journey. I want to hear about the journey, the journey, the journey. [ laughter ] [ rim shot ] [ cheers and applause ] jiminy finished god, that was good. [ laughter ] longer than normal, but good, yes. Longer than last time. [ laughter ] jiminy whoo. Let me ask you something. How strange was it to be adopted . Uh [ laughter ] its strange to find out now. [ laughter ] jiminy yes, i know. I wasnt sure whether to tell you backstage i didnt know. Jiminy you didnt know . Think my mom and dad are my mom and dad. Jiminy no, no, theyve distanced themselves already. [ laughter ] well, let me see. Now, this is interesting. Why did god give men nipples if were not supposed to breast feed our pets . [ laughter ] its thats the best question youve ever asked. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jiminy because i have yes. Jiminy my dog, regulina, she cannot lactate. I taught her are you trying to . Jiminy i taught her how to hump my leg in the missionary position. [ laughter ] which is unusual for a dog. But then, i naturally lactate. Oh, i yes. Jiminy and ive kept those puppies alive. Now, is that against the lord . Is that against your jesus . My person allergies . [ laughter ] jiminy yes. Do i have to watch it when its happening . [ laughter ] jiminy i think its an act of bravery, to keep three little puppies alive on two breasts. Or three. Jiminy okay. Ive been outed, so to speak. Well, lets see. What was going through your head the day you were born . [ laughter ] what were you thinking of . Um probably where the hell am i . Its pretty bright. Also, my nose was smashed against my face. Jiminy it was . It really was. Jiminy do you think its going to come back . [ laughter ] oh. Jiminy oh. Oh, are we doing that. Jiminy well, i dont see any faults, but go ahead. [ laughter ] i think [ laughter ] nope. Nothing. Nothing. [ laughter ] jiminy should we turn oh, this is interesting. Yes. Jiminy i think its i dont want to get political with you. Okay. Jiminy but should we turn you know, theres empty red lobsters. Should we turn them into internment camps for albanians . [ laughter ] wow. Thats specific. Um probably not . Probably not . Jiminy interesting. Pop quiz. Do we put breath mints in the wrong end . [ laughter ] you do. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i would say i would say, treat yourself. Anywhere the hole is, pop them in. Jiminy pop them in. Go here, go here. There. You cant get enough peppermint in you. [ laughter ] jiminy ill tell you what i cant get enough of. Oh. Jiminy you [ laughter and applause ] well be back with Melissa Mccarthy more on Melissa Mccarthy lou portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by bibigo. Find them now at your local supermarket. Life tastes better when you bibigo. For moderate to severe crohns disease, skyrizi is the first il23 inhibitor that can deliver remission and visibly improve damage of the intestinal lining. Serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. 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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jiminy this is what you call a proud bi gentleman. [ laughter ] hello, nick kroll. Hi. Jiminy how are you . Im its dprit to see you. Jiminy i dont know a lot about you. You do a lot of voice work, dont you . Uhhuh. Jiminy because animation is your friend . Yes, its been good to me. Jiminy hollywood feels, well hire him as long as we dont have to look at him. Ha ha ha ha ha ha im kidding, youre a handsome, handsome do you know, you look like an older you didnt finish the sentence. [ laughter ] jiminy well, i think the audience has finished it for me. [ laughter ] i know, youre a beautiful man. You look like an older jewish olivia rodrigo. [ laughter ] you must get that a lot. I do get that, i take it as a real compliment, thank you. Jiminy its a real compliment to you. Tell me about your journey. Tell me about your life. Okay. Jiminy wheres the nick kroll from . Also what hes done and why are you here . [ laughter ] you want this all in a very condensed, short okay. Jiminy well, i have a flight tomorrow, and im not that riveted right yet. [ laughter ] yes, okay. Lets see if we can get there. Im from new york, westchester county, outside of new york. Jiminy wonderful, wonderful. And so youre in, youre in, i can tell. Jiminy no. You mentioned rye. Rye and ginger, thats my favorite drink. How many drinks do you have a day . Jiminy i have about four, and then its breakfast. [ laughter ] and i get started. I get started early. Good for you. Jiminy i might have to. Im just getting in, for gods sake. I love to do the clubs at night. You run all night . Jiminy i do the clubs. My favorite is still the limelight. You still go to the limelight . Jiminy still go to the limelight, isnt that wonderful . Its a wonderful place. Jiminy so you do the show big mouth. Whats big mouth about . Big mouth is about big mouth is about im sorry, big mouth is about sorry, go ahead. Big mouth is about my puberty. Jiminy your puberty. Yes. Jiminy puberty. Yes, my puberty. Jiminy my god. [ laughter ] wow. Ive been through puberty three different times. [ laughter ] when i was 8. You know, i got my thing. Then when i was 14, i grew this luxurious moustache. And the third time i went through puberty was this morning. [ laughter ] really . Jiminy its been a long journey. I remember telling my children morgan, mason, matthew, and modine i told them the facts of life. And i said, you know, its very difficult to explain it except that when the male papa boy goes up to the lady, and he sniffs her, he sniffs her, he sniffs her like and he says, oh, thats cheap shalamar, i know that. Then theres a writhing and a moaning and a groaning, and thats just getting the pants off. [ laughter ] you two know each other . We do. We do. Jiminy oh oh, rrrrr this is a lucy liu seal over here. Youve had them all. We had a weird first meeting. We did. Which is not something i normally do, i swear. We met in boston. I was doing shows in boston, you were shooting ghostbusters. We went out, a group of us went out, we got very drunk. We were like fully dancing in this restaurant. And i was like, doesnt this place ever close . And theyre like, it closed four hours ago. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jiminy oh, im sorry. Is that story over . That was a good one. That was a good story. Wow. Jiminy and you got drunk, huh, what an ending. [ laughter ] [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] jiminy id save that for later. Did you ever resolve your what . Jiminy did you ever huh . Jiminy there you go. Threes the charm. There you go. Theyll be like, and then nick died. Jiminy are you still having that big feud with sugar knight . [ laughter ] you are . He hung you out the window, hung you out to dry. Thats wonderful. Youre so [ laughter and applause ] jiminy wow. Thats jiminy its unbelievable. [ laughter ] oh my no, sure. There you go. There you go. [ laughter ] now heres the question i want to ask both of you. Where were you when the Queen Latifah show was canceled . [ laughter ] i know i know right where i was. Jiminy i cant hear every word. I was in i was in queens trailer. On the day . On the day. I told Queen Latifah that her show was canceled. [ laughter ] jiminy what right did you have to tell her . None. I walked in off the street. She said, all right, its over, and she walked off. I had no authority. [ laughter ] jiminy well, thats the strangest story. Ive heard so many strange stories in show business. I know. Jiminy yeah. I know. Jiminy but that that food cant be good for you. [ laughter ] its what you eat. What is your jiminy oh my god, my health. I worry about my health. My arteries are stiffer than kristi noems dog. [ laughter ] im telling you right now. I need a good flushing out. Yeah . Have you ever done an enema . Have you ever done a full colonic . Jiminy im doing one right now. [ laughter ] i hoped no one would mention it. It was kind of my secret. [ laughter ] yeah. The bag is poorly hidden. Jiminy i disagree. I disagree. Are you still boycotting bud light . Yes. Only because jiminy youre still eating. Im eating these you cant tell how you can see up close. I can see it. When i picture what his what his intestines . Yeah, or yeah, what his ejaculate [ laughter ] its just like this. Why does it come out like this . Jiminy there you go. Thank you, thank you. Jiminy am i what . Your ejaculate. [ laughter ] when your ejaculate comes out i understood it comes out looking like jujubee pellets. Jiminy perfectly formed too. Joined by attitude. [ laughter ] so you just did who wants to be a millionaire . Yes. Jiminy what was that like . It was great. I was playing for a charity. Its a celebrity who wants to be a millionaire . I played for jiminy blah, blah, blah, blah. On to the next one. Do you have any charities you work with regularly . Jiminy none. None at all. [ laughter ] to me theres something wrong about giving money to the poor. [ laughter ] and also, if we what part of jiminy if we didnt have poor people, how would you ever get people to do crowd scenes . [ laughter ] wow. Jiminy suddenly im wrong. Suddenly im wrong. Yeah. Jiminy i dont think so. [ laughter ] you said youre a huge fan of woody allen but not of his work, what does that mean . [ laughter ] his personal choices. The way hes lived his life. The personal choices hes made. Jiminy yes. And youre very proud to admit that. I am. Jiminy i love your bravery. I like this man. I love this man. Yeah. Thank you. Jiminy i love this man. I do love this man. I do love this man. I love this man. If you had to choose, which Disney Princess would you be . Oh, jasmine. Jiminy jasmine . Theres a bit of jasmine to you. Thank you. Jiminy now this lady made a hit disney film, the Little Mermaid right here. I did. [ cheers and applause ] did you see that one . Jiminy i just dont see anything. I dont see anything because im so busy, because ive got a full career. Im writing books. Im posing im still posing. Art, for artists . Jiminy this thing. Im trying to bring back playgirl. And its not working. Can i tell you my take on trump . Jiminy yes, i want to hear, because i think hes misunderstood. Yeah. I dont know if i trust him. [ laughter ] [ cheers. ] jiminy but based but based on what . [ laughter ] his record, mainly. Jiminy he made a record . He made a record. Jiminy a vinyl, hes made a vinyl . Hes done everything. With all the jiminy how the hell am i going to get up . [ laughter ] help me up action wont you . Of course. Here we go. Here we go. Okay. Okay. Okay. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] jiminy there we go. There we go. And im up. And im up. [ rim shot ] jiminy oh there we go. Look at this. Look at me, ive never seen bigger lips. [ laughter ] all right, you know, well be back. Were going to play a game. Were going to do a game. Weve got melissa, nick, and were playing a silly talk show game, how much fun is that . [ cheers and applause ] if youre living with hiv, imagine being good to go without daily hiv pills. Good to go unscripted. Good to go on a whim. With cabenuva, theres no pausing for daily hiv pills. For adults who are undetectable, cabenuva is the only complete, longacting hiv treatment you can get every other month. Its two injections from a healthcare provider. Just 6 times a year. Dont receive cabenuva if youre allergic to its ingredients, or if youre taking certain medicines, which may interact with cabenuva. Serious side effects include allergic reactions, postinjection reactions, liver problems, and depression. If you have a rash and other allergic reaction symptoms, stop cabenuva and get medical help right away. Tell your doctor if you have liver or kidney problems, Mental Health concerns and if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or considering pregnancy. Some of the most common side effects include injectionsite reactions, fever, and tiredness. With cabenuva, youre good to go. Ask your doctor about switching. [ growl ] ready for the road trip. With cabenuva, youre good to go. Everyone comfortable. Yep, theres plenty of space. Ive even got an extra seat. Wait no, no, no, no, no. [ gasps ] [ indistinct chatter ] [ sigh ] lets just wait them out. The volkswagen atlas with three rows of seating for seven. Everyone wants a ride. [ snoring ] ok, get in. [ speaking minionese ] yippee and see despicable me 4 in theaters july 3rd. Rated pg. Want a next level clean . Swish with the whoa of listerine. It kills 99. 9 of bad breath germs for five times more cleaning power than brushing and flossing alone. Get a next level clean. Ahhhhh with listerine. Feel the whoa sometimes your work shirt needs to be for more than just work. Like when it needs to be a big, soft shoulder to cry on. 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Farxiga can cause serious side effects, including ketoacidosis that may be fatal, dehydration, urinary tract, or genital yeast infections, and low blood sugar. A rare, lifethreatening bacterial infection in the skin of the perineum could occur. Stop taking farxiga and call your doctor right away if you have symptoms of this infection, an allergic reaction, or ketoacidosis. Farxiga [ cheers and applause ] jiminy are you having fun . Its nick, its nick, yeah. Its nick. Jiminy so welcome back. My guests are running on fumes, obviously. So its time to shake things up. Although i like jimmy whats his name . You know who i really enjoy, jimmy fallon. [ laughter ] hes the one. Hes the one that excites me. Sure. Jiminy kimmel, sure. [ laughter ] if you have problems and youve seen its a rerun, youll see kimmel. [ laughter ] when theres a new fallon on, you go there. Because hes such a ball of energy. I love jiminy fallon. He plays all those Fun Party Games with his guests. [ laughter ] melissa and nicholas, are you up for a party game . I am. Jiminy that was rhetorical. Try to keep up, dear. [ laughter ] in honor of tonights debate, were going to play president ial blind charades [ cheers and applause ] i know how that works. Jiminy heres how it works. Using my thespian skills, i am going to act out a clue. And nick has to guess what that clue is. But hell be wearing a blindfold. So he wont be able to see what im doing. Thats where melissa comes in. What she then does is she describes to nick every one of my movements. You know, so he has to make an educated guess, but hes blindfolded. [ laughter ] isnt that fun what i just said . Yeah. Jiminy didnt understand it. Absolutely. Jiminy first of all, put the blindfold on him and come in here. Oh, guillermos going to put it on . Jiminy no, no, you put it on, dear. This is not tricky, honest to god. Its like dealing with someone whos had a head injury. [ laughter ] yes, go ahead. Okay. Jiminy wonderful, wonderful. Okay. Now, so do you understand whats going to happen now . Im going to do it, and youre going to describe to him. Okay. Jiminy even though i cant say any words because because its blind charades. Its for the best. [ laughter ] jiminy action movie. Oh i was supposed to describe it, not say it. Hes operating something that you put film into okay, its a movie. [ laughter ] yes. Jiminy all right. One first word. Yeah . Shaking his finger. Jiminy no shaking one finger. Jiminy god, your example floerns is crushing me. [ laughter ] stop swearing at me. Stop yeah. Putting three of his little sausage fingers on his jacket. [ laughter ] so three words. Three words. One three words. Three words. Jiminy three syllables three syllables. Jiminy okay. First shaking a finger. Hes hes so it looks like hes pulling a needle and thread through something. Hes pulling on his neck. Pulling on his neck. Pointing at his necktie. Okay. He had a stroke. [ laughter ] okay. Diffrent strokes. Still wait pointing two fingers on his forearm. Thats two sayllables. Jiminy okay. Okay. Whos talking . I think only melissas supposed to be talking. Jiminy look, look hes lying. I can feel him lying down. Dead. Jiminy oh, the suns so hot. [ laughter ] i hope i dont get burned. Hes still talking. Hes laying burn after reading. Jiminy i dont want to get a tan. Beaches. The movie beaches. So many words. He was laying on the lying on the ground like a jiminy i was getting a tan. Okay. He was getting a tan. [ laughter ] youre just talking. Now hes sewing up his mouth. Sewing up his mouth. Jiminy third syllable. Three again. A lot of threes. All of that was the first two sill syllables . Hes shaking his torso. Jiminy the third one. Tan hardly wait tan shaking a fist. Hes angry. Hes sweating. Hes yeah . Jiminy click click click tiktok, a clock . Clock time . Hes karate chopping. Stab it. Jiminy put it all together, idiots [ laughter ] okay, lets go back. Were going to go through the whole thing. Okay. Jiminy by the way, youve been really helpful. [ laughter ] i okay. Jiminy its like having a stick shift on a something. [ laughter ] recap. Recap. The music for recap. Were in a recap. Hes doing his tie. Doing his tie. Tie. Uhhuh . Hes a beached whale. Okay, like a jiminy i hope i dont get a sunburn. He doesnt want to get burned. I want to get something else. He wanted to get tanned. Jiminy yes titan titanic. Jiminy yes [ cheers and applause ] oh my gosh. Jiminy how wonderful. Just wonderful. All right. I mean yeah. Well, okay. And by heres the point of the game. Yes, what is it . Jiminy because its president. Who was the president of the United States when titanic came out . When titanic came out . Jiminy yes. I think clinton. Jiminy yes [ cheers and applause ] all right. Well, thanks to Missy Mccarthy and nikolai kroll. [ cheers and applause ] well be right back with music from the warning lou the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by tequila don julios summer of mexicana. Zyrtec allergy relief works fast and lasts a full 24 hours so dave can be the. Deliverer of dance. Ok, dave lets be more than our allergies. Zeize the day with zyrtec. Ill stop the world and melt with you mmmm ill stop the world and melt with you have you had your hersheys . [ em beiholds good day begins ] il meet the newrld and target circle, the easiest way to get more target. That means automatic deals when you join for free. Thats the new target circle. gasp more cookies yeah [ good day ends ] looking for a reason to try the new 5 meal deal at mcdonalds . Heres one, two, three, four and the price makes 5. Thats everything you get with the new 5 meal deal at mcdonalds. Homequote explorer lets you easily compare Coverage Options so you dont end up overpaying. 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[reverberating] give me some of your tots dang it [long sigh] now from oreida comes totprotecting pants. Music [truck backing up] [truck accelerating] yes music ill eat as many as i want to, gosh skincare can start in the laundry room. Thats why i always recommend all free clear for sensitive skin. Its free of dyes and perfumes. Its a key part of my self care routine. Its a clean thats gentle on my skin. For an effective clean thats gentle on skin, all you need is all free clear™ i have active psoriatic arthritis. But with skyrizi to treat my skin and joints, count me in. Along with clearer skin, skyrizi helps me move with less joint pain, stiffness, swelling, and fatigue. And is just 4 doses a year, after 2 starter doses. Serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms, had a vaccine, or plan to. Theres nothing like clearer skin and Better Movement and that means everything ask your doctor about skyrizi today. Learn how abbvie could help you save. This week on chewy, shop all your pets favorites and get a 30 egift card. Enjoy more savings on more food, more toys, and more treats. More of everything they love, delivered right to your door. Only with chewy. [ cheers and applause ] jiminy the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by tequila don julios summer of mexicana. Their tour starts september 13th in boston. Here to celebrate don julios summer of mexicana, playing the song sick from their album keep me fed, the warning [ cheers and applause ] help me now cause i only debase when i see the problem staring straight at my face i wanna kiss it, lick it make it my own wanna taint the color til its faded and gone bleeding just to feel alive im rotting in my place life is nothing more than passing time give me violence kill the silence til it makes me feel til it makes me feel til it makes me feel sick i wanna make mistakes and live in regret dont wanna give just take get out of my head and if i break it, fake it dont care what comes next if theres a price to pay ill deal with it when im dead breathing just to live a lie im rotting in my place sick and tired of always wasting time give me violence kill the silence til it makes me feel til it makes me feel til it makes me feel sick leave me ruined show me that im human til it makes me feel til it makes me feel til it makes me feel sick ah im rotting in my place ah im rotting in place im rotting in place im begging you give me violence kill the silence give me violence kill the silence til it makes me feel til it makes me feel til it makes me feel sick leave me ruined show me that im human til it makes me feel til it makes me feel til it makes me feel sick sick [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jiminy what a wonderful night it has been i want to thank Melissa Mccarthy, nick kroll, and the warning. Nightline is next. Thank you for watching. Good night, america ha ha ha showdown in atlanta. The historic face off. The only person on this stage is a convicted felon. Is now im looking at right now