Washington, but ultimately, this is offset by years of experience necessary to deal with a complicated world. I like butter fingers the most. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert with Stephen Colbert and welcome ruth wilson, j. B. Smoove and the ghost brothers jon batiste and stay human. Live from new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause . Captioning sponsored by cbs cheers and applause hey welcome to the late show. Im Stephen Colbert. Thank you for being in here, out there, all around the world. Happy halloween, having a good time . cheers and applause very nice. Hope you like my costume. Im dressed as the spookiest october surprise f. B. I. Director james coooomeyyyy because, on friday, comey reanimated the corpse of the Hillary Clinton email scandal. Its alive its alive comey sent a letter to congress saying the f. B. I. May have found more clinton emails. And thats spurred a lot of questions like how damaging is this . Will it throw the election for trump . And whats a letter . Is that like a gif that doesnt move . The f. B. I. Found the emails while investigating illicit messages sent to an underage girl by clinton aide huma abedins estranged husband and esstrange guy Anthony Weiner. laughter apparently, they found them while searching his laptop. Dear god, i hope they used gloves. laughter and some purelle, just soaked it so, in a shocking twist, Anthony Weiners penis might destroy two political careers. laughter powerful thats powerful its a monster cheers and applause get out of there get out the calls are coming from inside his pants laughter the Clinton Campaign has finally found something even messier than wikileaks. Its weiner leaks. laughter want to use tongs. laughter this october surprise comes right as secretary clinton was riding high in the polls in the wake of Sexual Assault accusations against donald trump. Truly, for the Clinton Campaign, horny men giveth, and horny men taketh away. laughter applause whats amazing about this jon wow. Stephen its true. Just days before the election, and trump wasted no time grabbing this story by the weiner. This is the biggest political scandal since watergate. Her criminal action was willful, deliberate, intentional and purposeful. Stephen uh. It was also voluntary, conscious, resolved, designful and aforethought. applause so that guys going to im telling you, he may not win the election but hes going to ace the a. C. T. S. Jon thats right. Stephen so this is it. Emails that could tip the election in favor of a sexually ravenous, shambling, orange baby man. So what do they say . These emails must be explosive, to defy the longstanding policy of the Justice Department that discussing investigations could taint the results of an election, now a mere eight days away. They must be packed with incontrovertible evidence of malfeasance, abuse of office, and unprecedented levels of corruption. So what does the letter say . The fbi cannot yet assess whether or not this material may be significant. So nothing. Or everything. Thats like a captain yelling all hands on deck head to the lifeboats at some point, maybe. I have no further information the f. B. I. Didnt even have a warrant to read the emails until last night. And its going to take awhile, because apparently they now have to read 650,000 emails. My god how much boner pill spam does Anthony Weiner get . So to recap heres what we know. Nothing. We dont know whats in the emails. We dont know when were going to know whats in the emails. We dont know what effect this is going to have on this election. I dont know why comey sent this letter. Its like the old saying, if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, its still more informative than james comey. cheers and applause now, comey defended his actions in a letter to f. B. I. Employees, of course, we dont ordinarily Tell Congress about ongoing investigations, but here i feel an obligation to do so, given that i testified repeatedly in recent months that our investigation was completed. At the same time, however, given that we dont know the significance of this newly discovered collection of emails, i dont want to create a misleading impression. Yeah, you wouldnt want to create a misleading impression. Gathers all the suspects in a room and announces one of the people in this room is a murderer now if youll excuse me, i have dinner reservations. laughter boo rif so, james comey, its not a letter, but i do have a message for you, and its behind this hand. cheering but i cant release what it is until after the election. And hillarys not the only politician who had a tough weekend. Remember Chris Christie . He sure wishes you did. laughter jon tough situation. Stephen once a big deal. He was one of 700 republican candidates who got beaten like a rented mule by trump. Then after christie dropped out, he became trumps lackey, standing awkwardly behind him at rallies, and even getting trumps mcdonalds orders. Of course, when you go get mcdonalds for trump, its not called a happy meal its called a sad meal, and, instead of a toy, it c laughter after all that, now its being reported that back in july trump offered christie his v. P. Slot, then rescinded the offer. Apparently, trump told christie he was in, but Trumps Campaign manager Paul Manafort didnt think christie was a good choice. He must have received a tip from anyone living in new jersey. laughter not a popular fella. So manafort pulled off a daring bit of political espionage. During a Campaign Stop in indiana, manafort lied and said trumps plane needed repairs, forcing trump to spend an extra night in indianapolis, then manafort set up a meeting with mike pence. And the rest is history. Just like the republican party. cheers and applause maybe. Who knows. Who knows. You dont know. You dont know. Those plane repairs are the second time a madeup transportation problem killed Chris Christies career. So, on top of being a campaign strategist, Paul Manafort is the quirky best friend in a romantic comedy who goes to elaborate lengths to make sure the couple meets. This november, keep your eyes out for my best friends vetting and the sequel youve id watch that cheers and applause thats a good movie id watch that in a minute laughter now, all of this email stuff didnt get in the way of me watching the cubs this weekend. You guys watch the games this weekend . cheers and applause lost the first two at wrigley, but last night brought home the first winning World Series Game and as a fan of the cubs, i can tell you with confidence that they will not blow it tonight. laughter also, in football, the new you think football, thing with the pointy ends. The new England Patriots played the Buffalo Bills right here on cbs, and there was some quite unusual unsportsmanlike conduct because someone threw a sex toy on the field in the middle of the game. Right by the end zone. Come on come on when your coach told you to leave it all on the field, this is not what he meant applause now, i cant tell you exactly what was thrown because, even though it originally broadcasted on cbs, they will not allow me to name what sex toy it was. But lets just say, if Bilbo Baggins had a d in his name instead of a b, youd have a pretty good idea, because its a bleep . applause it would totally change the lord of the rings, too. laughter thankfully, the referees regulations by kicking it off the field. laughter annnnd its goooood and weve got a good show for you tonight. When we return, ill be looking at Donald Trumps outreach to minority voters. So stick around. cheers and applause . . . . One smart choice leads to the next. . The new 2017 ford fusion is here. Its the beauty of a wellmade choice. I thought my bladder leakage meant my social life was over. Wearing depend underwear has allowed me to fully engage in my life and im meeting people. Unlike the bargain brand, depend fitflex underwear is more flexible to move with you. Get a free sample at depend. Com. The world is full of surprising moments. Theyre everywhere. And as a marriot rewards member, i can embrace them all. The new marriott portfolio of hotels now has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, you are here. Join or link accounts at members. Marriott. Com. You wanna see something intense . Pantene expert gives you the most beautiful hair ever, with our strongest prov formula ever. Strong is beautiful. . Why get your eyes checked the Old Fashioned way, when lenscrafters can digitally map them for you. Introducing clarifye, cheers and applause . Stephen hey welcome back give it up for jon batiste and stay human jon you got it stephen i still got it, baby cheers and applause you know, folks, despite the Hillary Clinton still leads in the polls. So donald trump needs every vote he can grab. Which is why his campaign has been reaching out to minority voters. Like this new ad targeting indianamerican voters. Before you watch part of it, i want you to know, we didnt edit this clip. This is really how it goes. . The indian and hindu friend in the white house. cheers and applause we will defeat radical islamic terrorism. I look forward to working with Prime Minister modi. Ab ki baar trump sarkaar. We love the hindus, we love india i am donald trump, and we approve this stephen wow. That is jarring, convoluted, and confusing. I guess whoever cuts his hair also cuts his ads. Not all his minority outreach is going that well. Check out a trump rally in North Carolina this weekend. We have a protester. By the way, were you paid 1,500 to be a thug . Wheres the protester . Where is he . Was he paid . Out. Stephen heres the deal that guy was a trump supporter. Proving that not even donald trump can believe he has a black supporter. cheers and applause okay . Okay. So heres the thing once again, that supposed thug that trump threw out of his rally was a time trump supporter who was told by security he just wanted to give him a note. Now hes told, well move you to a separate but equal trump rally. This supporter did not let it discourage him. He said it was all fine and common experience for trump black supporters. A donal trump rally in grand ra, michigan. Trump bupter bill farber, everybody cheers and applause thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me stephen. Make America Great again stephen thanks, bill. Have you had the same kind of problems at trump rallies that c. J. Cary had . No, not at all, stephen. In fact, they treat me like a celebrity. People are aay picture. And i get all the free blacks for trump signs i can hold. Stephen so you havent been paid by democrats to disrupt this rally . No, im just here to offer my support and to give mr. Trump this letter. Ahhh stephen trump supporter bill farber, everybody. Well be right back with ruth wilson cheers and applause . Go, go have fun with your replaced windows. Run away [ grunts ] leave him leave him [ music continues ] brick and mortar, what . 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Night cream with active naturals . Blackberry complex. Younger looking skin can start today. Absolutely ageless . From aveeno . Judge . Judge . Judge . Grassley . Here hes always here. cheers and applause . Stephen welcome back, everybody. Folks, my first guest tonight is a golden globe winning actress and star of the affair on showtime. Please welcome ruth wilson cheers and applause . cheers and applause stephen thank you so much this is the scariest halloween pumpkin ive ever seen. I realize you dont have any brought this for you. Stephen awful nice. It even has trumps tiny mouth and im surprised how big his stem is based on the size of his hands. laughter yeah stephen lets put it right here. I realize pumpkins, like humans, have on their bottom a hole. Stephen they do have a hole. Cbs is going to blur that, you realize. Suddenly, this suited the hole very well, if you know what i mean. Stephen thats where all his ideas come out of. Exactly. Stephen and you know, for those out there who dont have the keen ear that i do youre english. Very english. Stephen do they do halloween in england . We do. Its a little more cynical than here. Stephen what do you mean . We dont really get dressed its 20 years ago halloween. Stephen cut the eye holes out, sheets . We do a very lowkey version of it. My family and i were very cynical and used to play tricks on the trick or treaters. Stephen in america, the kids say trick or treat. No, we got to them first. Stephen preemptive strike. O me and my three brothers, once we pulled a hose out the top window of our house, turned time they came we would spray them with freezing cold water. Its mean. Its mean. laughter stephen youre a terrible person. Yeah. Stephen do your kids go out with your sacks and costumes and go around and get candy. Yeah. Stephen wha what kind of cay do you get over there . Harrow bow. Stephen what is that . Like turkish delight . Stephen everything sounds fancier. We want to be french. Stephen you hate the french. Nooget. What do you say . Stephen nugget. The part no one wants. Ill take it back with me. Stephen to england . Yes. Stephen so you would spray the children with water. Yes. Its not a dumb thing, its just stephen youre particularly terrible. Yes. Mean. Stephen you got a new movie coming up called i am the pretty thing that lives in the house. A long title. Stephen it is a long title. Yes. Stephen its a spooky movie. Yeah, its a spooky movie. Stephen is it horrifying . Its fun. Its unusual. Its more like a poem. Its very still. Its like one chord being played. Stephen like the raven or yeah, an Edgar Allan Poe movie. Stephen do you scare easy . Ometimes the dark scares me, creeky sounds. Sharks. Stephen there is a reason to be scared of sharks. No one has to say, like, do you believe in sharks . laughter true. Stephen ive got no proof sharks exist. Real things scare me. To sniend. I think Stephen Speilberg did a service to me as a child. Stephen did you see jaws in a theater . I watched it at home and behind the couch. Stephen i watched it from outside the theater. Away from the screen. Stephen just tell me how it happens. Yeah. Stephen people do crazy things and do shark diving and things like that. I have been shark diving. Stephen what . It didnt work. I always think the shark might enter one of those flaps. Stephen the great whites . Yes, in south africa. Stephen what were you thinking . It was exhilarating. I do like being scared. I was in that cage and it was gnawing on the side of the cage and, yeah, it was very scary. Stephen do you know what he thought you were . This cage is full of delicious noogot laughter there is a spooky movie here. Jim, lets show the spookiness. gasps oh. You scared me. applause seems like a very happy house youre living in there. Its very happy. Its sort of death. Stephen youve got kind of an odd affected voice in that. What a is that your spooky voice . It does sound spooky. Based on cinderella, actually. Stephen do you think of cinderella as a horror story . Yes. Stephen how so . He was trapped in a house. She has to clean. That for me is very scary. Shes got a horrible, scary stepmother. Stephen yes. I mean, and shes got a weird shes weird. And she sings. She has a very high voice. I thought, thats what im going to base this character on. Stephen cinderella . Yes, so i based the voice on cinderella. Stephen she sounds so innocent. Exactly, sounds so innocent, virg nail, but underneath, something is wrong. For a horrible surprise. Exactly. Stephen off movie called dark river coming up. Next year. Stephen you described it as the English Version of the revenent. Yes. Stephen do you fight a bear . No bears but i fight sheep. Stephen that is the English Version of the laughter theyre evil. They have horns, come at you, they dont care and theyre a bit stupid. laughter stephen theyre herbivores, though. Sheer him, make a nice sweater. Thank you so much for being here. applause stephen i am the pretty thing that lives in the house is on netflix. Ruth wilson, everybody well be right back with j. B. Smoove. cheers and applause f inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. Its proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. Humira is the number 1 prescribed biologic for psoriatic arthritis. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Want more proof . Ask your rheumatologist about humira. I served under president bush and obama. I fought the taliban. I was asked to form a Global Coalition to counter isil. When someone makes the comment that they know more about the Islamic State or isil than do the generals, it implies a complete ignorance of the reality. But i believe secretary clinton really understands the threat that the Islamic State poses to the United States and to the american people. And i believe she understands how to wield American Power to ultimately defeat this threat and to keep us safe. Im Hillary Clinton darien why have the latest smartphone if you cant use it wherever you go . Switch to u. S. Cellular for our best plan yet 7 gigs of data per line for only 49. To share more photos at your cabin or video chat at your secret fishing spot. All for just 49. The best part . We put towers in places the other guys dont. Because u. S. Cellular thinks you deserve a signal that works wherever you are. Switch to u. S. Cellular and get a whopping 7 gigs of data per line . cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody folks, my next guest is an actor and comedian best known for his role as leon on curb your enthusiasm. Why would you do that . I do that . Why would you do that . Its a happy home. Obviously not if youre banging the cashier from piggly wiggly. You invited her to christmas dinner with your sister who does that what . O does that . Who puts paprika in potato salad . We just dont do that. Youre being ridiculous. Were in the middle of christmas dinner. You can talk to her later. Come on. Stephen please welcome the very funny j. B. Smoove cheers and applause stephen nicely done. Nicely done. applause dont sit down, yet. This is splendor. I like this. From here up, you are ready to argue your case before the supreme court. Yeah stephen from here down, youre ready for heavy weather. No, this is military stuff. This is a camouflage tie, military boots, military style stephen were you in the military . I would go in the military but then i was selling real estate. See what im sayin . laughter you got to think. Im outside the box. Stephen good. Im way outside the box. The box is over here. Im way over here. Stephen wow. Box. I dont want the box at all. Happy halloween. Are you celebrating halloween . I am. Stephen do you enjoy celebrating halloween . I dont want to change the pace of whats going on right now but i have been watching you backstage on the monitor the whole time. Its bugging me man. Stephen whats wrong . I am a man of style. Stephen you are. Im watching you on the monitor and thinking, this man needs a pocket square. applause stephen you look like youre lining up a putt. I have this. I have a kleenex. Get that out of here, man. Stephen this is a magic trick hes about to do. What . Not that one. Lets see. Stephen a little magic music place. Not that one. playing piano not too green, not too green. Hold on. Huhoh, huhoh, h huhoh. Stephen oh, thats really nice. Yeah. Youre in for a disappointment. No. Stephen yep. Oh, no stephen its sewed shut oh, no you tricked me, man you tricked me not too bad. Stephen very charlton heston, mid 70s. Very charlton heston. Stephen thank you for being here. Thank you for upgrading my style. The blood to my brain right now. Its a little bit tight. The movie is called almost christmas. Isnt it a little early for it to be almost christmas . Arent we pushing things a little bit at this point . I had a big fight with the director. I told him we should call it damn near christmas. Damn near christmas. To me, its the same thing. Its damn near christmas. People say it all the time. It see . Stephen i can see that. I hear damn near all the time. I have a friend of mine who damn near got fired. Stephen can i ask you about your last name smoove . Why not. Stephen youre not born with a name smoove, right . laughter of course, not, man. You cant put that on your drivers license. There. I got my new license and i went up there and i said, maam, is it okay if i take my new photo like this . She said, no. Stephen do you really want to hand that to a cop when he pulls you over . Of course. That means im okay. Everythings cool applause come on, man its a great idea. They said, no. I said, i cant do everythings okay. Stephen youre not going to answer the question, how did you get smoove . I have i was a hiphop dancer. I was known as jay smoove. My partner was groove. It was groove and smoove. Stephen what kind of moves are we talking about . Any kind of dancing. Im a worldly guy. I can do hiphop dancing. Stephen youre on broadway right now. This is a broadway theater. I should have been in cats. Thats what, i should have been in cats. Stephen you would be a good cat . Give us some cat music. Stephen give me cat music fast cat music cheers and applause . laughter see that . Im fabulous, man. Hey im also very good at hiphop dancing, too. See that there . I do it all. Im a jack of all trades. I do everything. Im inside the box. And im outside the box. But now you put the box so far stephen you look like you need a litter box. Thats how good you are. Thats how good i am. Stephen thats how much a jack of all trades you are. You know what . Dogs should learn how to use litter boxes. That would be great. Stephen that would be good. How come female dogs pee so different than male dogs . Stephen i dont know, and why do female dogs all go to the bathroom at the same time . I dont know for being here thank you stephen almost christmas is in theaters november 11. J. B. Smoove, everybody. Well be right back with the ghost brothers. . Discover card. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. Sure its free for everyone. 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Zero sugar. ooooh zero calories. ooooo but max pepsi taste. wow applause . cheers and applause stephen welcome back, everybody my next guests are three paranormal investigators who search for unexplained phenomena on their tv show. Please welcome, the ghost brothers band playing stephen thank you for being here. Happy halloween. Happy halloween to you. Stephen is halloween happy for yall because you are Ghost Hunters. Best time of the year. Like tax laughter stephen dailien, jajuan and marcus, are you actual brothers. Me and jajuan are Fraternity Brothers and marcus is a distant cousin. Stephen i take that as a no. laughter how did you get to be hunting ghosts . Its a crazy idea. I asked my friend, i think we is a random wednesday. Stephen do you believe . Ghosts . I believe in the holy ghosts. Come on, church piano riff stephen what about ash aberrations that comes in the middle of the night and ectoplasm . Were on the unintelligible h. We havent stumbled across casper, but stephen are ghosts petty. Theyre very much petty. Stephen what do you mean, a petty ghost . A person who turns into a ghost has to be the most petty person in the world because theyre still trying to prove their point. Im still out here stephen so they just wont let it go . Wont let it go. Stephen wow. O there are friends you had that you know are going to be ghosts. Stephen so anybody who just want to get the last word in, has to be the last person with an argument is going to be do you think you would be good at that . Stephen i based my career on ghost force a long time. Were never going to get rid of bill oreilly then. applause definitely not. Stephen there are a lot of Ghost Hunters on tv. What sets you apart from other Ghost Hunters . Only that we are televisions first black group, black Ghost Hunters. Stephen is that a rarity. Were like the Jackie Robinsons of ghost hunting, to be honest. Stephen im sure the ghost of Jackie Robinson is honored. Hes got to be. Stephen all right. Well, is there anything about your style . How do you hunt the ghost . Tell me, what is this . What is this contraption. A good old rem pod. Stephen you actually use this in ghost hunting . Exactly. You set it up. It has an antenna on top, able fields or anything around. Stephen would ghosts have electromagnetic fields . Yes. Everything exerts energy. The energy exerted around the rem pod will light up and make us aware we might not be alone. We love to do it with humor and respect. Stephen you respect the ghosts . You have to. Stephen but theyre petty yeah, but stephen we have a clip here to have the humor and respect and the ghost and the brothers. Jim . All right, you dont have to talk to us. We get it. Aunties do go to bed early. What time is it . Her hair wrapped and everything. She done took her bra off, she got her moo moo on. She got a cigarette. Baby, didnt i tell you to get your ass in that bed . laughter we would love some type of so are you in here with us now . Oh, my god there it is. Just like that. It goes down. applause stephen its a great idea for a tv show because you get to search forever for something that you know you will never find so you can never get canceled we just keep trying stephen fantastic congratulations lovely to meet you here good luck watch out for the ghosts you can watch ghost brothers on destination america the ghost brothers, everybody well be right back cheers and applause stephen thats it for the late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be mel gibson, luke bracey, and musical guest, tegan and sara. Now stk corden and his guests, harry connick, jr. And alice eve. Goodnight stephen before we say good night altogether, i want to say good night to this man right here who ive worked with for eleven years. This is john michael john, who sang on this very stage how old were you, john . Eight. On this stage, and he has been a camera pointed at me for the last eleven years, and i knew, back at the colbert report, that everything was going to be okay when you thought i was good. applause i love you, old man. I love you. Stephen thank you. applause good night. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by . Are you ready to have some fun . Feel the love tonight dont you worry bout . Where you come from its gonna be all right