Ministry and as a former blasphemer and prosecutor and then he says something that all of those who know the Lord Jesus can say he says but I obtained mercy Paul says he was saved by the grace of God and it was the mercy of God that put him in the ministry if you know the Lord Jesus as your Savior today you could say that as well whenever Dr McGee shared his testimony just like Paul he marveled that God used him in people's lives it's amazing isn't it God wants to use us despite our own shortcomings you know one of our listeners told us how he came to know Jesus and it speaks of how God uses someone just like us he writes from Savannah Georgia every noon hour one of my coworkers sat in his car eating his lunch I asked him why he ate in his car we have a nice cafeteria and he said it was so he could listen to your radio program on another day he invited me to join him he couldn't have known it but God had been working in my life making me realize that I needed him in the worst way after 3 times listening I bowed my head and asked Jesus for eternal life I repented of my sins and now have a new life in Christ praise God We now have a holy worship service in my brother's car every noon we invite others to join us in our own Bible bus and in time we hope they will thank you through the Bible for telling me about Jesus well praise God for that story of grace and for men and women like that coworker who share the gospel in the most inviting ways as we travel through the entire Word of God in 5 years who could you invite to travel with you ask God to bring someone to mind now another listener This is Mary from Glen our Maryland shared each night when I drive home from work my thoughts and concerns are usually related to my work responsibilities but when I listen to the 6 pm broadcast I can reflect back on the day and realize how unimportant my concerns were the words of dear j. Vernon McGee are a wonderful reminder to me that the Lord Jesus Christ is always with me and will guide me throughout the day I just. Keep my mind on him and things above now let's focus our hearts and minds on what God has for us today in his word Heavenly Father thank You for Your Love your mercy and grace and how they're the most important part of who we are use us to show others what we found in you and help us to listen to and receive your truth today in Jesus name Amen Here's through the Bible with Dr j. Vernon McGee our friends will come back and we are going to see 1st Timothy and we come to the 1st chapter of this very wonderful of Castle and last time I put down and then abduction and my thought in the entered option was that although we are going to deal here with that which is really the nitty gritty of the local church that has to do with sweeping the place out gather not the song books and a meeting of the deacons and all that sort of thing but the important thing is that the characters are all these men in the caliber these may well be that which will determine whether that church is really a Church of the largest prime it's now that's important for us to say and with that in mind let me just give a brief outline that we have in our note so that's a pestle and we have in Chapter one The Bite of the church. And then in Chapter 2 we'll have public prayer and woman's place in the churches and my friend that all to stir up a little interest and by the way if you have any friends in women's lib have them lesson but a reminder this week or the next few times and I think maybe that we can hope we can get their man kissed now in chapter 3 we have officers in the church is chapter 4 a pos the say in the churches and chapters 5 and 6 do you think it is the officers of the churches now this is the thing that we have before us and we come back now to chapter one and here we have the place of the church and actually I probably ought to call that the wife of the church it now in the 1st 2 verses here we have they enter duction and that's an adoption is rather remarkable it's remarkable because it's different than anything that you've done in other polls the best selves. I'm of the opinion that many of us by the time we got from Romans through 2nd Thessalonians we came to the conclusion that all used the same manner duction but that's not true these pastoral pestles are a little different and this doc of Benson says the salutation as a whole has no parallel and Paul that is you won't find this and any of the other a pestle said actually is different now we want to see in which way it is different he calls himself now Paul an apostle of Jesus Christ by the commandment of God our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ who is our hope under Tema my own son in the faith grace mercy and peace from God Father and Jesus Christ Our alone and that's a remarkable 2 viruses the Scripture very remarkable and Paul care again even with Timothy our search his apostleship and somebody says Well he's certainly done that before when he had and we find for instance and Galatians that he says that he is an apostle by they will of God. Now I hope you notice that this is a little different here it's by the commandment of God and somebody says What is the difference between commandment and will of God Well Paul and I was riding the young preacher he says Brian and that's personal I think it's much more personal though it has to do with a local church but it's very personal because it's written to this young minister you this young missionary shall we say of the large Isa's and actually the well of God and the commandment of God are synonymous and yet they're not the same and let me put it like their ads all of commandments that you find in the Bible reveal the will of God. And there not just confined to the 10 Commandments by the way they reach out much farther than the 10 commandments we are told that it's the will of God for us pray you remember we had that back and 1st class alone and you will recall that we are to pray without ceasing and in every thing give thanks for this is the will of Christ Jesus concerning you self that there are many things that are the will of God and they will of God is expressed in a man but I do not think that you have all of the will of God even in the sum total of the Commandments that we have in the Scripture we have a now reveal that my honest not play by the commandments of God And I'd like to reiterate that emphasize that because there are so manage to die the law they say is essential to our salvation now when we get down to verse 7 I'm going into this a great deal of detail we won't get there to day I'm sure he says that we know that the law is good if a man uses it lawfully Well how do you use the commandment it's good well that's true and the law which also has been Romans is holy and the commandment holy and just then good but it's the very fact that the law is good and it's absolutely good and then man doing absolutely goodness from my end in whom there is no good sign because Paul says I know that in these are do well it's not a good thing and it's because the law is good that the center cannot obey it that's the whole saying about it it reveals the will of God and the commandment of God reveals the will of God So. So that in order that the Senate might be saying it was necessary to find a way apart from of Bt and some of perfect law and the lowering of the gospel is that God found a way that he might be just and the just the fire of him that believing in Jesus and we are told today that we have through this man and has a large ease this is preached on to you the forgiveness of sins and by him all that believe are just the 5 from all things from which he could not be just implied by the Law of Moses why because it was a ministration of day and the law condemned us the law wasn't given to save us the Law was given to reveal that we are dealing with a holy God and that you and I are not holy that are for God had to find a way to save us and that way is the way of the Cross that way is the way of the largest I am the way he says the truth and the life they law is not the way to God Christ is the white of God and that is the important thing now when Paul is saying to this young preacher something here he says not the broad statement he gave the go lation I am an apostle but the will of God which was of course true but Paul is saying now that I shun preacher Timothy I am an apostle by the commandment of God He made me an apostle it's not just because I'm in the will of God The day that I'm an apostle but that was a time when he come then did me but be an apostle now I think Paul was rather reluctant to become an apostle I'm sure that Paul would offer to the law of excuses as Moses did he could well say well look lower I was with the other 11 apostles and. Well with you for 3 years and I never knew you in the days of your play I know you today is that glorified Cripes I'm not worthy to be an apostle and he says that also and the large Jesus says I command you and that's the reason that this man but walk into a Senate God and go before gainsaying audience and Athens and a group of rotten corrupt senators sent current and stand before them and declare the gospel you know why he was a soldier under orders he was an apostle black commandment not by a commission but by a commandment nobody laid their hands on him and made him an apostle a large Jesus and that gave him an authority Now you remember when we look to Jeremiah that we saw that same kind of father I take this man Jeremiah a shrinking black a shrinking violet retiring all the time a man with a broken heart and yet he could step out and give these strong strong statements from God why he's under orders he's a soldier under our days now Paul is making that player to Timothy and I think any man that is going to speak for God Today needs to speak without authority Arriaga keep why I think that when a man gets up and says I think they're sent if you believe in a fashion I expect that maybe you'd be saved if you would believe in a way on Jesus Well when you begin to talk like that then you haven't anything to say for God at all now Paul is this kind of an apostle Paul an apostle of Jesus Christ about the commandment of God our savior now is God our Savior He certainly is God so loved the world He gave His only but gotten Sunny's the Savior and the laws. Jesus Christ who is our hope now God provided the sacrifice and the large easiest prize is the one that acts acutely Did he is the one that came to that sir and then you have this strange like money here he is our hope and that is a strange expression because that's not used very many times tell the truth you are only going to find that use one other time and that will be in cautions cries then you the hope will gloat and the largest died to save you he lives to keep you safe and he's going to come someday and take care in order to calm some light that salvation my friend and why you look at him if you're going to look backwards These are white and when we look around us as a loved one we look ahead of hope my friend and it's hope actually all the way and it's anchored in the Person of the largest prize you see that's just a little different inner duction now he says under Kim and my own son in the play. Now notice that he is called Tema face and he's called to Mo thius and somebody is going to say well what difference does that my well actually it doesn't make too much difference only the most hideous is made up of 2 words and it means that which is dear to God and I think we need to see that that this man was dear to God it was dear to the Apostle Paul and he was dear to the local churches of that day what a wonderful picture that we have here let me say a word concerning him now we have Timothy interviews the last and we had something to say about him but for when we were in the book of Acts also when we were looking at for instance the pursuit of the of patients then they passed on to the full at the end now his father was a Greek will see that when we get a little farther along and his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice were Christians before him he lived in Leicester and that was where Paul was stoned and I think right from the dead by the way and I'm not sure about what that's had a lot to do with the conversion of young Timothy I problems like any other young man rather skeptical but I'm sure that convinced and then he became and I woud follow Paul after his conversion and he was a man that had a good reputation by the way we're told and at 16 beginning at verse 2 well reported up by the browser in that war at let's turn our Coney and him would call have to go forth with him and took uncircumcised him because of the Jews which were in those quarters for they all knew that his father was a Greek and as they went through the said is they delivered them that decrees far to keep that were ordained of the Apostles and elders which. Or at Jerusalem and so were the churches a stablished in the faith an increase in number daily and then as he followed day of Passover Paul he became one that all had utmost confidence sand and Paul had in the churches many that proved false and Reverend that this saved him that's always the tragedy I think of every pastor is the fact that you do have wonderful people wonderful friends in the church I tell you one of the lowers of my ministry today is that right here in Pasadena I began serving you're 19 already and I've been here a long time and there are people that I meet all just every where we came to the lord way that aconitine 404142 they are following in the Lord steps and their loyal wife of France as one of the reasons we keep by headquarters here we've got a world of wonderful plans you say in a safe area people you can trust and Paul had those that he couldn't trust but Timothy he could and for Libyan's the 2nd chapter verse 19 listen to what he says that I trust in the Lord Jesus ascend promote us shortly under you that also might be a good one I know your state where I have no man like minded who will naturally care for your state we're all sitting there own not Lange's what your Jesus Christ but you know the proof of him that as a son with the father he have served with me in the Gospel in that war I hope to send presently so soon as I shall see how it will go with me and I trust in the Lord that I'll so myself shall come shortly now we find here that Timothy when you say he is one very close Paul. And Paul here mentions that under Timothy my own son in the faith and that could be translated my truth son in the paper my genuine son in the faith Pollard led him to the lower now he says grace mercy and peace from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord and somebody says well that's just like the entered auctions we've had before no it s. And I beg to differ with you and the difference is this yes we've had grace before and we've had peace mentioned before and we've spoken to but friends we've got another word here that's mercy Well what is the mercy of God Well actually mercy is a word that was used back in the Old Testament and it actually it was a welcome to the word grace because it was the mercy seat that there and. It was the sacrifice that made the throne of God which is holy and righteous and just makes it a mercy seat and when you and I come to God we don't want justice what we want is mercy and we need mercy from God now Mercy is what God has provided for all of his creatures God's got all of mercy that you need you can call upon it but it's just like money in the bank my friend will do you no good lets you ride a chair and you write a check a plate and plate May when I write a check I write it but fight a lot of times because it's not always there but where frankly that's what mercy it is God is rich in mercy we're dull we've seen that one before he has plenty of but one God saves you he saves you by His grace now God is merciful God is merciful to all the senators that in the world today that blast fame him and repudiate him and turn it back on Him God is merciful to them he sends rain on them just not yet he doesn't play favorites and even with those his own centers today get rich they prosper they seem to do better than what I am but as merciful don't but you see you'll have to come by thang. And write the check the facts you'll have to come by fiat and then got all save you by His grace now you see these 3 words love and mercy and grace are a little trend love is that in God which existed before he would care to exercise mercy or grace God was alone at this night church is that to me now Mercy is that in God which provided for the need of central man and grace is that also in him which act freely to save because all the demands of all iness been satisfied so that God because he's merciful you can come Toyman biased Grace you say you don't have to bring anything back you bring nothing because anything you bring is there right now I have read several letters from people who criticized maybe we're talking about do gooders now my friend a do gooder is the one that thinks he does not need the mercy of God He feels that his own good works will say that I had a man years ago right up here and out of the unit here in Pasadena he said to me and it was on his deathbed he said to me says preacher you don't need to talk to me about that I need Christ as their Savior and I need to Mercy and the grace of God I don't need it I'm willing to stand before him just like I am you see and you know why don't you tell me what all he did he'd been chairman a president I think of the community chest and he had headed up and he was head of an orphan home at one time a chairman of the board all he was a do gooder and he's going to stand before God on it my friend let me say I do believe salvation will do you any good when you really need it the salvation that gone provides for you will enable you to go do good cond of good that is acceptable to God because the even the righteousness of man is filthy rags on his side Francis is a marvelous entered option that we have here will pick right up our next uncle that May God bless you my beloved. We appreciate that reminder of God's love mercy and grace Dr McGee said because God is merciful you can come to him and by His grace he'll save you if you'd like to know more about the grace and mercy of God Well we'd love to tell you more just go to t t v dot org and click on the banner How can I know God There you'll find several resources by Dr McGee about how you can meet God and what his offer of salvation is all about you can also call us and request that we send you a couple of these resources our number is 1865 bible that's 180-652-4253 now this weekend I Vy to join me for more of Dr McGee's great teaching on a Sunday sermon he dives into the controversial topic of women's place in the local church you can listen online at www dot org or check our listings of local stations that carry the program and while you're visiting us at t.v. Dot org Be sure to check out this month's featured booklet called what to do when life is hard we may be saved but Dr McGee says perilous times come and worldly things can still creep into the heart of believers how can we overcome them well that's the focus of this booklet based on one of Dr McKee's most popular sermons what to do when life is hard and more than 100 of Dr McGee's other booklets are available for download when you visit the resources section of t t v dot org and click on free booklets as always if we can help you locate them online just call us at 1865 bible Now on Monday we continue our study of 1st Timothy in our 5 year journey through the Bible may God bless you today as you walk with him he was a live mole of the womb you know oh sitting in the Senate. We're so grateful for the baby only generous support of through the Bible's partners who are being used by God to take the whole word to the whole world. This report is sponsored by Walgreens Westin and for very slow from before Bailey all the way up to 6080 and earlier accident at ports cargo cleared at the center divider and a stalled for security that has also been cleared but stadium the shore freeway heavy going from just before Carlson into the maze the bay bridge tolls Plaza metering lights run but not really much of a back up there it's looking good on the bridge in the San Francisco north one a one lots of slow from $380.00 in San Bruno all the way up under the central sky Way itself to 80 slows out of Daly City from after Hickey to 380 and 92 looking good for the cemetery bridge and same goes for 84 on the Dumbarton that's traffic I'm Paul next well this week at Walgreens get great deals on the everyday essentials you need such as select varieties of laundry detergent and on dish soap for only for 99 with colored Walgreens trusted since 1100 last restrictions and exclusions apply see store for details hi my name is Ryan born and I'm Danica born and we're the owners of South because tax we started our company 10 years ago in an effort to help all experiencing tax issues resolve their matters by taking a simple 3 step approach south coast tax or tax accounts and it turns a specialized release of bank levies wage garnishments from a complex tax returns where the leaders and acceptance of offers of compromise but also results are also small firms who treat you like family not just a number call us today at $1800.00 tax $1176.00 for free consultation and will take the time to explain all the programs that you qualify for in order to allow you a fresh start plans fail for lack of counseling which many advisors they succeed calls to their 100 tanks a level 76 and she gather we can help achieve this goal by putting the ira step behind you for good 100 tax 1176 again the number is 1800 tax 1176 free offer contingent on subscription pay shipping and handling cancel any time message and data rates may apply what happened man. Used to be energetic happy and wild the ladies love you now you fall asleep on the couch tired and out of shape Don't be that guy try a free bottle of ageless male Max a Walmart best seller with an ingredient shown to increase testosterone yes it's now that easy and when added to workouts this ingredient has shown more gains in muscle and twice the reduction in body fat percentage plus you get an added ingredient with a long history of being used for libido try ageless male max free just text the word size to 606060 if you're ready to support more energy more strength and more confidence text size 260-6060 s I z e 260-6060 enjoy some expositional teaching from the Bible while you're getting ready for church tune in Sundays a 10 am for grace to live the radio teaching ministry of Pastor Keith Crosby senior pastor of San Jose's hillside even Jellicoe Free Church you can also hear Pastor Keith weeknights at 7 and find podcasts of grace to live at k f e x dot com to learn more about He'll sign Church in San Jose visit their website at Hillside dot org That's hillside dot org looking to sell or refinance your home maybe you already know buy a home or considering investing don't make a move without 1st checking out the real estate connections Saturday mornings on k f e x post Stephens they are that is a certified probate and real estate specialist who knows the Silicon Valley market like no one else will introduce you to experts on everything from landscape design to leaky pipes and a whole lot more the real estate connection with Stevens they are Saturday mornings 8 to 9 on am 1100 k. F. a X. Sponsored by family life ministry on am 1100 k. F.a. X. Sometimes there are reasons why children of divorce no longer want to have an ongoing relationship with one of their biological parents. Sometimes that estrangement is a result of one parent alienating the children from the other parent. Rodney Webb is a divorced dad who would love to have a relationship again with his kids RINGBACK but haven't seen them for 2 years. In the it's the last or much Royce in their mother a message and say that I would like to. Explore the rekindling of a relationship with them and if they were interested in the unwilling the in them I thought that we could go to see a counselor and to start the process of rekindling a relationship and she replied and said this should talk to the children about it being the turn it wasn't something he wanted to the suit. This is family life today for Friday August 2nd our hosts are Damon and Wilson I'm Bob Levine what if anything can our mom or dad do. If they have been cut off from their children most of course. We're going to have that conversation today Stay with us. And welcome to family life today thanks for joining us so have you guys joined the ranks of regular pod cast consumers I mean are you listening to podcasts on a regular basis yeah every week I do I guess that's regular Yes Ok I don't know I do a workout and listened a podcast every day and every day are you using the app on your phone and yes downloading podcasts you like to listen do and yes have you added Ron deal I guess you're not a blended family so it's not like it's something you'd listen to regularly out of your own need but you know as people who are involved in the lives of husbands and wives and moms and dads we need to know how to help our friends we need to know how to empathize with what's going on with the blended families in our church in our community in our neighborhood. And rum deals new podcast family life blended or we got a lot of people who have started listening to this pretty excited about it and they are benefiting if they're in a blended marriage or family but they're also benefiting by helping people they know who are in step families and as a pastor you know that's huge I was going to say how critical it is they have wisdom help practical advice available and now a podcast every time I talk from the pulpit about any relationship issue I have to know good percentage of my audience is blended in more separated or 2nd marriage or so you have to address all those and now we have a podcast that goes very we get help for you yeah I don't think the church has done a great job of helping the blended family so this is such a great resource Well I love the fact that any time I'm talking to somebody who's in a blended marriage or I'm speaking to a large audience I can say here's what will help them get a copy around deals book The smart stepfamily start listening to his new podcast family life blended and you can just offer them something that you know if they start listening to this it's going to help them significantly this is like getting continuing education for your step family run sat down recently for one of the episodes in his pod cast with Helen Wheeler who is a licensed professional counsellor and she works a lot with couples who are going through separation divorce step family situations and together Ron and Helen had a conversation with Rodney and Lisa Webb and Rodney and Lisa give leadership to family life blended in New Zealand we've got a ministry to blended families in New Zealand Robbie and Lisa are leading that and they're working together with Ron and they talked about the fact that for Rodney and Lisa there have been some significant challenges with their step family relationship most significantly they've had to deal. Well with ex spouses who have created alienation and division and separation with the children the biological children causing them to the not want to relate to a former spouse or to a new step parent. You know we've got 5 children and between us and we've had 4 of them for them alienated and my my youngest girl was the only one that stayed and then transverse between the 2 houses and having to deal with the negativity from the other house and then also her older sister is one she chose to stay and remain 5050 so it's so complex and so heartbreaking it's ironic tell us a little bit about your family paint a picture for our listener so I've got 2 children I've got a boy in a ghetto 14 and 17 at the moment. Lisa's got 3 daughters. But it's the 4 children between us they're all pretty close in age and when you guys been married so it's pretty me on the spot. It's funny stuff very good with all these days we've been next year it'll be 5 years of being married for 4 and a half years so far but together for 6 and coming up to 7 Yeah early next year b 7 and did this distancing this alienation if I can use that word with your children we had that started before you guys got married or really has it started just since you've been married. Well we were actually we weren't living together but we were together for about 2 years and at that time my ex-husband was living overseas and that 1st 2 years it was really actually quite good I mean we had the trying to blend the kids together and but we did not have any influence of people speaking negatively to them at the other house but when my ex-husband came back to New Zealand. And then he actually met a partner probably 6 months after that and that that's when things just changed his the way that he was in directing with me it changed it was very aggressive those sort of like what's going on here says step mom coming on board in the other house and then we've also had the challenge of that Rodney's ex-wife and her. Became socially friends with my ex-husband and his partner and they started talking and that just became a can't even put the words there's a kids would be socializing the 5 of them would be socializing at the other houses and then the 4 adults would just be going hammer and tong about Rodney and I might my bills before that started to fully come in they would come back into bed and Courtney's mum then she just made a life out of hating Rodney that's all she talked about so so we would hear this stuff coming back and you're just sitting there going so you know you start communicating going well it's probably not a good idea to do this finally just keep the stuff you know up at al it will. And then they're just saying doing fine things ridiculously even more yeah so when you started writing when you started hearing those things like what did you do. Between a rock and a hard place because in some thinking at the time that. You probably better off just to let it ride you not really in a position where you can confront other parties that are saying it almost makes you look bad if you do confront Yeah that's right and in a position where you just add fuel to the fire. You know I often say you have some influence or actually quite a bit of influence when you're married to somebody you have far less influence when you are no longer married to somebody you know that just begins to dissipate fast and so even though you were saying you know what will discount a deal with our household and be in charge of that it will be good over here assume that they will do that over there that's not what was happening they were getting into your business they were altering the relationship between you and your kids Oh absolutely and that became a couldn't quite understand you know like the children my girls would come back probably user a little bit more silent and that's a whole nother story to you and after we've progressed through the eye of the Nation My girls have started to come back but Rodney's children nothing nothing for the last 2 years like nothing even though we've tried now to contact and stuff like that so even but they was silent about it my girls were very vocal though very angry they would they would scream into my face and you be going Can we just talk about this let's just step back and let's talk about this Ok so let me just make sure I'm understanding scream and to your face the things they're repeating the things that they had heard or that they were upset about what they had heard or will it yes I think there was a bit of a journey with that once he actually got involved with another. The timing of it just changed it was the way that he spoke to me or communicated to me it was quite aggressive then my girls would come back and say Ah. Just tell me what happened from your point of view what happened in the divorce This is why you're putting them to bed at night time you know like yours you're lying in bed with them you know talking about stuff as you do and it's like on them just tell me from your point of view and I'm saying girls you know whichever one I was talking today it's not really for you this just wait until you grow up a little bit not tonight just tell me about this bit just and probably stupidly on my behalf you sort of when you're in that you're in that sort of close situation thinking well look you know this is. For then I go off and talk today and dad would say you know mom's a liar. And I'll come back and I said Dad says you're a liar you're a liar and I'm here talking and they're going to repeat that absolutely that you're a liar and you know you're not doing this and you're not doing that and I'm like but I'm doing everything the same. And then why I also had the complication that. She would takes them when they were with me and we were starting to have challenges with like for example one of them wanted to go back and do a jazz ballet this would have been the 3rd time that she started jazz ballet and she quit after the fist him every time and anyway so you had this I'm like well no let's not do that yet you know I want to do this I'm like well you know but you know as you do you sort of negotiations debts and then the other houses will want you to do it. And then she'd come back and then she'd be getting takes from this from the step mom and saying I don't know why your mom is being so difficult about this I would let you do it I love you so much we think you're amazing I saw these takes so you're having all these undercurrents not happening and then the children this so angry I mean I can you can still see their eyes being so angry with me why don't you let me do it and the manipulative message there is we love you your mom doesn't absolutely that's their anger coming through they're reacting as if you don't love them like somehow they've forgotten all the things that you've done for them through the years and the quality of the relationship and now all of sudden they they see you as somebody who doesn't love them and they feel it's unfair and mistreated as well again I remind our listeners that we're talking today about really difficult co-parenting situations including when there's alienation going on Helen let me come back to you for a minute because I think. We have to come back for a 2nd and just go on a whim and what's going on here and I know you can't talk specifically let's not talk about Rodney and Lisa situation but when parents do this type of thing and they are manipulating their child and it's not a personality disorder related why would somebody do this. I think there's a couple things in action sometimes when we've got a step mom the step mom wants to come in and be the mom. And so then then there's this this competition that goes on who's the best mom and so there's I think there's probably some of that and with women a lot of times when they get a new man in their life. This new man wants to fix everything and get I'm using air quotes there he wants to fix everything so he's going to come in and try and take over and she is going to let him. And you know something I wanted to come back to with you and not talk to you only because I see this a lot is you want to defend yourself and we end up talking about the content of what the kids are saying rather than the hurt the pain the 1st ration the confusion I'm sorry you feel that way it looks like here you're really confused I can see that you're caught in the middle and join them with empathy rather than trying to tell them you know you got the wrong story because in a way you're saying to them you have a but you're lying. Now what you're saying is not true you know it's a it's a really difficult there's a lot of counterintuitive stuff and that's one of them where you actually don't correct them you just join them on on the pain the confusion the frustration that they're feeling I was confused. I was hating because my children were being ripped away from me so I had that all emotions of and I didn't know what to do like I wasn't fully aware of what was what was happening and what the impact of these negative talk was I was still right back at the beginning and it was very confusing and I had to deal with my own emotions so therefore my kids would be upset with me but then I would respond to that and I would be crying I'd have to run out of the room and go to my room and cry and I didn't really I just didn't know how to handle it I didn't know I didn't have anything in the 2 books and an empathetic way of it I've had like that to cure thing would be to say it must be terrible for you to feel like I don't love you yeah I do love you and I always well and of course that assumes you can get past your own panic. And then tune into what's going on with the child so I agree that that's the ideal response but that is a very very difficult situation in which you have to hold on to your your tears and your case Lisa and set them aside and try to respond to the child I want to just stop for a minute and talk to the listener who may be and Rodney in your shoes Lisa said her her kids have reconnected but your kids still haven't either haven't And as you sit and listen to us talk about this I'm wondering what's going on in your heart it's pretty high I love my kid so yeah and one of the interesting differences between leaser and I is that my kids are quiet. And I didn't really know. What was going on in their world in terms of where they stood with the alienation on you though hearing things about me and things about Lisa that went went right I didn't know the depth of it I was an active active in their life and I believe that they actually knew me and that my relationship with them was the most important thing in that they saw that day no matter what other people said that they actually were secure and then all of a relationship. And then it proved to be the case and yes I haven't seen them for 2 years. And that hits you have any contact with them no no I haven't lost so much pride I seen a mother a message and said that I would like to it's been 2 years would like to. Explore the rekindling of a relationship with them and if they were interested in that and willing. I thought that we could go to see a counselor and to stop. The Perseus of rekindling a relationship and she replied and said that she talked to the children about it being that it wasn't something they wanted to proceed. And the waiting says gotta kill you it does it really does but I mean I'm. A part of what you do as a Christian as you go back to the wood. And you used the wood as yardstick for your life aid and for we you are and how you should respond in certain situations and. Draw some comfort from the story of the prodigal son. The father brought up 2 sons I would assume he built them up about the same they were in the same household and as you know one of them decided he wanted his inheritance and he we know off had nothing to do with his father or his brother anymore we know often lives are in life and it is going thing. And even though my children haven't received an inheritance and they're not adults and the you know I haven't haven't made a. The Willing decision in such a way as he did to go off and squander things like still removed from me either removed from the relationship or me just like the protocol son removed himself from his father's relationship. In the father the father didn't go chasing after the father remained available he still loved he was really willing and able to accept him for what he was and who he was when he came back and he remained healthy infamy I really see that it's Hell I have to be so I have to maintaining a healthy relationship healthy relationship good Lisa healthy relationship with the other children that are in my life the relationship with God can be the healthy person have the parent. We know if they decide to actually write we can build a relationship. Well we've been listening to an episode of Ron Dale's podcast family life blended and I want to encourage our listeners if you'd like to hear the entire conversation and hear Ron and Helen and Rodney and Lisa talk about the huge breakthrough that happened and Lisa's relationship with her daughter and hear Helen talk about never giving up on your relationship with your kids even if there is a nation go to family life today dot com and get information about the family like blended podcast there are a number of episodes available you can listen to you can subscribe to it along with other family life pod casts again go to family life today dot com for more information on the Family Life podcast network I just have to tell you guys that Kiwi accent that just I could listen to that all day. I think it is a a thing one beautiful the voice but what a challenge but it sounds a lot to chat. To be alienated from your kids because an ex spouse is poisoning the well or saying things that aren't true or just trying to drive a wedge between you and them and trying to know how do I deal with this in a way that honors God How do I deal with it in a way that heals the hurt in my own heart that I'm experiencing this is a real difficult path for folks to be on I think it would be one of the most difficult paths for a parent to be alienated from their children and it would be really hard not to become bitter and hopeless and so I love that as we put our eyes on Jesus that can help but also have some practical tools of what that looks like yeah I was thinking the chaos the anger the resent meant. The hardened heart that happens and yet Ronnie takes us to well the most beautiful stories in Scripture and is pointing toward the father of a product son and you know that father in that story in Luke 15 feels the same thing as his son rebels and walks away and yet he gives us a picture of the father's heart which is Rodney's point is like Ok what would it look like for me who's been hurt to run to the mailbox run down the road after even my former spouse my you know that's the one stopping what I want that's impossible apart from the heart of the father be in our heart and so it's like every parent out there a blended family is like me and that's where you go you've got a phone in your face and ask God to give you his heart otherwise you just live in bitterness and that's no way to live and your kids will be the result of that feel that and yet if you get the father's heart it's possible God's heart can transform our heart to softness to a place where God can bring something beautiful out of this mess that's the grace of God. And you guys know in October Ron deal on the family life blended team are putting together an event the summit on Step Family Ministries can be held in Chesapeake Virginia October 24th and 25th and the theme this year is step families in crisis this is an event designed to help people in ministry whether it's in a local church or in parish church ministry those who are helping to work with blended families to help know how to navigate families that are experiencing this kind of crisis you can find out more about the 200-1000 summit on stepfamily Ministry again the dates October 24th and 25th in Chesapeake Virginia go to family life today dot com for more information there is special pricing available now so again go to family life today dot com and the information is available there you know as I said our goal here at family life is to help. Strengthen marriages and families to effectively develop godly marriages and families whatever your family situation is today we want it to be a marriage and family that honors and glorifies God and to that end our team has put together a fitness guide for marriages for this summer there's no heavy lifting involved no weight and no jogging although there's strength training and cardio I mean we're talking about it your heart racing a little faster and about strengthening your marriage relationship this stronger forever Marriage Fitness guide is available for a free download and we've had a ton of these download already and I think the reason is because when you download you become automatically eligible you're automatically entered in a contest and one couple is going to win a week on The Love like community marriage cruise in February of 2020 there is no purchase necessary to enter the contest began back on July 1st 200-1008 ends on August 30th 200-1000 official rules can be found at Family Life dot com slash stronger for ever so us strengthen your marriage this summer and maybe we'll see you I'm a love like you mean a marriage cruise in 2020 and we hope you have a great weekend hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend and I hope you can join us on Monday when we're going to talk about how we can help young man grow into greatness Dr Gary Chapman will be here along with our friend and family life we can remember Speaker Clarence Schuller they've written a book that's designed to engage in age young men around the subjects and we'll talk about that Monday you can join us for that I want to thank our engineer today keep Lynch along with our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our hosts Dave and and we'll see I'm Bob the peanut and see you back next time for another edition of family life today. Family life today is a production of family life of Little Rock Arkansas a crew ministry help for today hope for tomorrow. This report is sponsored by Walgreens San Francisco north 101 approaching Candlestick Point a 2 to 3 vehicle injury accident looks like everything's in the center divide prophet was already slow going from 380 continuing into the city up to the central Sky way north to 80 slows ocean Geneva 2101 that again on the extension approaching merit closer to 6 than King sounds 2 way that's heavy out of Daly City from Highway one down to 381 a one a little slow on the freeway from before 92 down to around with all northbound flows out of the self a from your point of continuing up to just past Willow that's traffic I'm Paul Maxwell this week at Walgreens sketch great deals on the every day essentials you need such as select varieties of laundry detergent and on dish soap for only 499 with card longer trusted since 1000 pounds last restrictions and exclusions apply. 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Every year millions of men women and children are trafficked around the world including here in the Bay Area is a $1000000000.00 industry that preys upon the vulnerability of people learn what you can do to help put an end to modern day slavery listen to Love never fails with the Nesa Russell Saturdays at 3 am 1100. Kids have a feel. For the service see the media Hi there Jordan here at Friday's phrase of praise God is purposeful You know nothing comes into the life of a believer by accident god knows about it he is all knowing he's purposeful in all he does and all he allows and he is perfectly trustworthy God always has a plan and it's always for our best God is purposeful that's our Friday faces praise time for us to focus on the family with Jim daily. Jim Daly is sponsored by Focus on the family on am $1100.00 x. 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And a kingdom single you are complete in Christ that's the message on this focus on the family broadcast featuring Dr Tony Evans and Lisa Anderson Kingdom single is the name of Tony's new book published with focus on the family and today we're continuing a conversation recorded in Dallas Texas I'm John Fuller and your host is focused president Jim Daly and John I really enjoy discussing the single life with Dr Evans and Lisa Anderson talking through some of the challenges and concerns that many many singles have been getting encourage men from Dr Evans on trusting Christ with our lives I mean he is so good at delivering that the believe message me believe last time we talked about the importance of contentment and the desire for sexual intimacy and what it means to be a kingdom single fulfilled in Christ completely and we're going to continue now with more discussion about finding community how the church can help singles in that way and more about our divine purpose and Dr Evans of course the senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas he's been on this broadcast a number of times we say Anderson the director of boundless our outreach to singles and the host of the boundless show a radio show on pod cast Let's go ahead and listen in. Tony welcome back I am delighted to be with. You here in Dallas Lisa's joining us Lisa Anderson our band was described as for a quick yet where a community for single young adults primarily focused. Done maturing in Christ owning our faith dating with purpose and preparing for marriage and family that's what God has for us and so it's a fun community feel for singles who may feel alone in their churches because maybe they are one of a few singles or they just feel a little disenfranchised so we put our arm around them and say we've got stuff for you here dating with purpose.