And Carol Natalie made a brief statement after the vote today is a solemn and sad day for the 3rd time in a little over a century and a half. The House Judiciary Committee has voted articles of impeachment against the president for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress the House will act. Expeditiously the full House is likely to vote next week if approved the Senate will then hold a trial on whether President Trump should be removed from office the nation's growers say they are consciously optimistic over the new phase one trade deal between China and the Trump administration announced Friday because of the trade wars some have stopped shipping crops altogether to China well others are facing reduced sales because of steep tariffs and again with Northwest news networks reports China is one of the largest export markets for u.s. Wheat from states throughout the Northwest and other such as Colorado and Nebraska that can afford to get their grain to the coast but that trade has been shut down since the 1st tariffs against China started rolling out more than a year ago the c.e.o. Of the Washington grain commission Glenn Squires notes that China is the Northwest's 6 largest trading partner for wheat then not being in the market is essentially reduced demand so that's had a price effect you know it's been lost sales Washington apple growers are also hopeful they're facing 60 percent tariffs in China for n.p.r. News I'm in a king in Richland Washington this is n.p.r. News. Colorado is in the midst of a major snowstorm It started Thursday and is expected to be over until Sunday evening some areas have already seen as much as 2 feet of snow multiple traffic accidents forced the closures of major highways an avalanche warning is in effect in many mountain areas the Food and Drug Administration has approved the use of a high dose prescription fish oil drug to reduce the risk of heart disease N.P.R.'s Allison Aubrey reports the drug will be made available to patients who have diabetes and other risk factors the drug to see if it was 1st recommended for people with very elevated triglyceride levels which can increase the risk of heart attacks and strokes now the drug will be made available to people who are already taking Staton medications to reduce their cholesterol but can still benefit from the triglyceride lowering effects of the drug the f.d.a. Says the drug safety and efficacy were established in a study of about 8000 people the amount of fish oil and the daily recommended dose of the pill is equivalent of eating about 8 to 10 servings of salmon a day Allison Aubrey n.p.r. News the city government in New Orleans shut down its computers Friday because of a cyber attack officials say they can't say whether any important files were compromised or when the computers will be back on line the f.b.i. And the Secret Service are assisting in the investigation officials in Pensacola Florida confirmed Friday hackers crippled the city's computer systems earlier this week and they want a $1000000.00 ransom they say they haven't decided yet if they'll pay it I'm nor Rahm n.p.r. News in Washington support for n.p.r. Comes from Americans for the Arts committed to transforming America's communities through the arts and arts education supporting the nonprofit arts industry which employs 4600000 people nationwide learn more at Americans for the Arts dot org. I am. This is the mark Radio Hour I'm Jay Allison producer of this radio show when Today we'll hear about lessons our parents teachers whether they mean to or not our 1st story teller is Brigette Davis she told a story of a Ford Community and Performing Arts Center in Detroit Michigan where the mouth was presented by Michigan Radio Here's Brigette Davis by the. I was in my 1st grade class one day and I had just shown my teacher Miss Miller and a sign that we had to color paper petals cut them out and paste them onto a picture of a flower and then as I'm returning to my seat Miss Miller stops me and she says You sure do have a lot of issues. The week before she asked me what my father did for a living and I said he doesn't work and she said well what does your mother do and I froze I knew I could not tell her that. My mom was in the numbers which was a lot like today's lottery except that it was underground and it really existed for decades before the state basically took it over. My mom was a numbers runner that means that every day except Sunday she would take people's bets on 3 digit numbers collect their money when they didn't win payout their winnings when they did in profit from the difference and the thing is the numbers was wildly popular it generated millions of dollars in every major city in the country and so you can imagine that a lot of the have money circulated through the black community and those dollars turned over many many times me numbers money help to provide services the black box desperately needed it really helped with launching small businesses and providing college scholarships and it helped folks get home loans and it even helped a fledgling in double a c.p. Stay afloat for years. My mom was high ranking she wasn't just a numbers runner she was a banker and that means that she didn't just have her own customers but other bookies turned their business into her and she was the only wommen in Detroit operating at that level for a long time. That's how she was able to give us a solid middle class life solid middle class life and so you can imagine that I was really really really proud of my mom I just thought this is really incredible that she's able to give us this kind of middle class life but what I loved most of all was I mean I can do it now I can conjure the sound of her voice on the phone taking her customers bets she would say Ok Miss Queenie I'm ready to take your numbers $69.00 to stray for $0.50 a box $4.00. And folks had these really creative ways of coming out with numbers to play they had all kinds of ways they would think about what 3 digits they wanted to play they could play their birthdates or their anniversaries or their addresses or their license plates some people even like to play their favorite bible verse. And for me to just hear my mom residing in those numbers every morning it was like a daytime lullaby because it meant that everything was right in the world you know because my mom was handling her business. On the other hand it is true that it was a livelihood based on a daily win or lose gamble so yes I also remember how we would all gather around and wait for that phone call every evening that would announce the days when the numbers they were based on race track results . It was like this tense silence moved through our home like a. Like a nervous prayer and when we actually heard the winning numbers we took our cues from mama either she looked relieved or she looked worried either she'd been lucky that day or one of our customers had been and it wasn't that she ever resented her customers winning she would always say folks play numbers to hit so you can not be mad when they do. I was so proud of my mom I knew she was not like any of my friends' mothers I knew she was running things and one day I decided I was going to organize all of her numbers running materials yet and so I went through the house. Gathering everything into this shallow cardboard box her spiral notebooks and her white scratch pads in her black binders and her red ink pens and then I very carefully painted on the side of the box mom was numbers and I used bright pink nail polish. I was so impressed with myself because I remember the possessive s. . So I probably show this to my mom and she takes one look and says you can not put my business in the street like that and that's when it hit me that I had to keep my admiration for my mom. Private and it's not that she was ever apologetic or embarrassed about what she did there was no shame attached to it my mom made it very clear that the numbers was a legitimate business that just happened to be illegal. And she had all of these ways to help to mitigate you know risk of exposure. My mom basically lived a low key lifestyle she never flaunted her wealth Yes she always drove a new car but it was a Buick Riviera and not a Cadillac and we lived in a lovely home on a tree lined street but we did not live in one of the big houses in an exclusive enclave in Detroit and we were well dressed my mom was the best dressed of all but her style was understated you know she was classic and classy no one would have ever described my mother as flashy my mom's edict was keep your head up and your mouth shut. Be proud but be private and that's why when my 1st grade teacher asked me what my mom did for a living I knew I could tell her the truth I knew I could not reveal the family business we all knew to keep that secret The only problem was I hadn't been taught what I should say so I said to Miss Miller I'm not sure what my mom does. And after Ms Miller said to me you sure do have a lot of issues. She said to me before you sit down I want you to name every parish use you have to go ahead I was so nervous because it felt like a test and so I didn't want to get it wrong I went through this mental inventory of all the shoes that lined my closet shelf and I just started naming them the black and white polka dotted ones with the bow tie the buckled ruby red ones the salmon pink lace ups and I I managed to get through 10 pairs of shoes and Miss Miller said to me tin pears is an awful lot and I could hear something something bad in her voice as she ordered me to take my seat and then the next day in class Mrs Miller called me back to her desk and she said you did not tell me you had white shoes I looked out of my feet and I felt like I had been caught in a lie I I knew I had disappointed my teacher and the rest of the day I was so worried that I was in trouble and so that evening. After my mother was finished taking her customers beds and before the days when the numbers came out during that brief expectant pause in the day when she was least distracted and still in a good mood I told her what happened at school. I confessed that I forgot to tell Miss Miller about the 11th pair of shoes. I have never seen my mother get so angry she was furious and I thought I am about to get a spanking. But in fact my mom said to me that is none of her business who does she think she is and then my mom stood up and said Get your coat and I thought oh my God we are going back to school and and she's going to confront Ms Miller but in fact my mom took me to Saks 5th Avenue. Where we made our way to the children shoe department. She pointed to the most beautiful pair of yellow patent leather shoes and she said those are pretty. I'm I'm telling you I still can remember when my mother pulled out a $100.00 bill and paid for those shoes the cells a woman looked at her the way Miss Miller had looked at me. On the way home my mom said you're going to wear these to school tomorrow. And you better tell that damn teacher of yours that you actually have a dozen pairs shoes you hear me. The next day I wore my new shoes with a matching yellow nitrous and in class I was so nervous but I did as I was told I walked up to my teacher's desk and I said Miss Miller I have 12 pairs of shoes. She looked out of my feet. And then she leveled her blue eyes in my face and she said sit down. Miss Miller never said another word to me. Sending me to school that day in those decided early on subtle bright yellow shoes my mom really did risk raising Miss Miller suspicions but she did it to make a point and it was one that I understood her loud and clear no one can tell me ever what I'm entitle to. My mommy used material things as armor against a world designed to convince us black working class children of migrants they we didn't deserve a good life and her mission was to make sure we knew otherwise So yes 12 pairs of shoes for a 6 year old girl was going to outgrow them in a few months might seem excessive but for my mom it was an investment in how I walked into the future with my head up but I did continue to keep my mouth shut. For decades I never told anyone what my mother did for a living not even after Michigan's daily lottery became legal. And not even after my mother died which means I never got to tell anyone how proud I was of her. Until now. That was dead they are. Every day project plays the New York Lottery game which is actually called numbers at a bodega near home she plays 675 her home address which according to her favorite dream book also plays for her mom's name Fanny since publishing her memoir on this subject project has received dozens of emails from people of all backgrounds Greek Jewish Irish Italian Polish Lebanese Panamanian Ukrainian and more revealing how their family members once played or operated the numbers nearly all were sharing their stories for the 1st time. To see photos of Brigette and her mom along with a picture of her mother taking a customer's number over the phone visit the mosque dot org. Coming up the surprising lessons of a 9 alarm fire when the Moth Radio Hour continues. The Moth Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in we're told Massachusetts and presented by the Public Radio Exchange p.r. X. Dot org. You know you look at the bad guy. Sound like the bad guy even appears you've done the bad guy but really there's been a terrible horrible stay. The search for. This. Step just Saturday. And Sunday on some p.r. News Colorado Public Radio's community of support makes it possible for c.p.r. Classical to touch lives across the state and across generations that music makes me really happy and feel like a compass major support. Army. Can. Just give me a philanthropic gift of $10000.00 or more will help c.p.r. Classical built future generations of listeners learn about leadership partner giving on the support at c.p.r. Org. This is the Martha Radio Hour from here x m j Allison our next story in this hour about parental lessons comes from Ellie a couple of minutes into her story Ellie talks about a coat her father designed for her when she was a kid and she holds it up for the audience to see we don't want you to feel left out so if you want to see a picture of the code it's on our website the March dot org Here's Elly Lee live at the max. So there's a kind of wisdom that fathers have and then there's the kind of was that my father has. For example when he does things he think he's totally brilliant and I just think he's crazy you know for example we 1st immigrated from Hong Kong he thought would be a good idea for all of us to have American names which would you know make sense because it would make the transition a lot easier and so my dad chose the American name Ming even though it's like not even his Chinese name it's just like another Chinese name it's like a dynasty you know so. So when we came over to this country we really had nothing we would wear penniless so in order to save money by death I was a really smart idea to make and design my 1st winter coat I was 3 years old. And to this day he thinks it's like the best design. Made seriously he thinks it's like oh this is a great we should market this. Is that's the wisdom of my father has one more example of his wisdom one day he came home and there was a sale and belts and use like bought a man monogram belt he was so excited he's like look at this it had the this big shiny letter a on it even though our family name is Lee and I was like Dad why did you get a letter and a bill that doesn't make any sense he's like oh I can't because he is for Ace which is he like you have to understand something about Chinese people like Chinese people are obsessed about being number one like you know you know what I have a belt now that says so I'm number one ace you know and and that's something that like if you've ever noticed entire towns across the country like Chinese business people like they always have to find you know the best number one name for their business in order to bring in all the money in the good fortune which is why everything's like an imperial dynasty lucky dragon number one kitchen like that's the home and that is my dad liked. That's his mentality so so in the 1st few years of being in this country just you know he had no time off and worked like crazy and managed to save up a little money to start his own business was a very modest grocery store in Boston's Chinatown and of course he called it means market but in Chinese the name of it was. Which literally means cheap price market . And and it was that even as a little kid like I didn't understand like literally told me one day that he would like Mark up something my $0.05 you know like mark of another thing by 10 cents on us like how do you ever can pay money like this business model isn't saying it was the wisdom of that you know but but you know strangely enough like you know almost immediately he developed a really loyal following in Boston's Chinatown. Because for the 1st time I think working families and working poor families actually had a place where they could buy affordable healthy good groceries and eat well which is you know no small thing when you're poor so my dad after about 10 years of having this grocery store he built it up to be a very successful business and by 989 he had moved into a an enormous space it became New England's largest Asian market and at the same time that year I mean you know I was a snotty teenager I still thought well you're crazy you're successful businessman but you're nuts you know crazy ideas and you know at the same time there is this he's been running a 1st floor in this vacant building that been vacant for like 2030 years and the landlord was trying to renovate the other floors to try to. Rent it out as a retail space but he was doing everything on the cheap so instead of hiring a contractor he was like welding and renovating on his own without pulling permits so one day as you can probably expect something out of hand in this big fire broke out as he was welding. But it was Ok you know they got all the they evacuated the building about 150 people and the fire trucks arrived immediately and everything was fine until the fire department hooked up their hoses to the hydrants and there was no water to fight the fire. They're like whoa that's weird you know so they went down a couple of blocks and tried the next hydrant and it was totally dry what had happened was that the city of Boston a few months prior they were doing road construction and generally when you drill if they drill deep they turn off the water pressure in case they had a water main and when they sealed up the road they forgot to turn the pressure back up so the firefighters had no tools to fight the fire and it was just disaster I mean was just like an hour later the building still on fire and there's no water there trying to jerry rig something from a nearby hydrant likes you know like 10 blocks away. And if things couldn't get worse the fire jumped an alley and the building next door caught on fire on the top floor was 10000 square feet of illegally stashed fireworks. So you know it's a firefighters can scale the ladders and there's like I mean it was a surreal moment because things are exploding from you know like in celebration you know in horror where you have fireworks as my dad stood there completely helpless watching his life's work just be destroyed in a moment through no fault of his own so I got a call I was a sophomore at the time in college and I went out to the store the next day when it was you know kind of just like smoldering wasn't on fire anymore and as I made my approach to the store I remember seeing like 3 elderly women across the street and they were crying and so I went up to them and I said you know is everything Ok why are you crying and lady looked at me and then she looked at my dad's store burned down store and pointed and and teary eyed said you know where are we going to go now that we don't have a home. And that was kind of like a turning point for me I hadn't really thought about my dad's store in that way like you know I just thought it was something he was doing to provide for the family and. But in fact he was kind of providing for a greater community like you know these elderly women they didn't have a community center to go to they didn't have a public park in Chinatown and and this was the only place where they would actually run into their friends and they spent a lot of time there in a way it was like a 2nd home and I guess it is true it sounds corny but like you only really do realize what you have and when you lose it and so in the months that followed I kept begging my dad for more stories you know and like one time he told me a story about how a little boy I asked him if people what he did with people who are shoplifters you know because I was really curious and he said well you know one day I caught a kid shoplifting was only 10 and like he didn't know who I was I was kind of following him around he was just like taking stuff like stuffing is bag putting in his pockets and and one moment like he actually took a break from stealing and sat down asserting the food he had stolen Well here's is right in the middle of an island my dad came up to him he didn't know who the he was he said hey little boy have you had enough to eat and the boy rubbed his belly like almost you know my dad's like a so where your parents he's like well they're at work it's like oh why aren't you at home like because there's no food at home. And my dad said Well you know when you take stuff especially if it's at a store and you don't pay for it's actually stealing and the little boy starts getting really nervous like oh my God this guy's going to get me in trouble you know and he's kind of angling for a way to get out of my dad's like you know so in the future if you don't have anything to eat at home would you just please just come and find me and ask me for whatever you need like if you ask I'll give you whatever you want just don't steal because stealing is wrong and in the months that followed I think my dad really looked forward to seeing the little boy and and he was it was these stories I was craving and I was asking my dad because and some way I think I was trying to recreate something that I had lost or had kind of to you know taken for granted. So whenever we went to Chinatown I remember lots of people would come up to us and say please we need a story like this again when are you going to open up your store and it was hard because my dad was basically kind of penniless like the fire head cause about $20000000.00 worth of damage and he barely had enough insurance to cover it I mean it was like not just inventory but like the Beansprout machine like the machine that he leased to wash and dry peanuts for I mean stuff like that and so he really had no money but he had this idea that maybe he could pull together a little money he did have with a lot of the universal employees people for whom they were they were immigrants and they got their 1st jobs through my dad at the store I've been working there since the seventy's so they pulled together it was a big risk the only location they could find was just on the outskirts of Chinatown which in the early ninety's during the last recession it was like a no man's land it's like this area really like it was so unsafe and the only reason you would ever go there is to like get a prostitute or drugs you know it's like it was so unsafe and at the time I remember in college thinking like what's the wisdom of that like why are you going there it's so unsafe no one's going to go it's just going to you know going to lose your life savings but he did it anyways because he's crazy you know and he and almost kind of overnight the place was revitalize you know they were really loyal people that families from the suburbs came in and gave patronage to my dad you know people walk from Chinatown and then soon there after more and more business. Ceasar popping up and then there was more more foot traffic and then and then family started moving back into the neighborhood and it was amazing thing like he kind of helped revitalize his neighborhood to the point that then 15 years later it became one of the most valuable pieces of real estate in Boston which is why my dad got it in a vixen notice from the owner because he wanted to kick my dad out and knock down the whole block and build luxury condos this was a few years ago so I remember my dad at the time was 70 and I said you know Dad what do you like you have like 90 employees and like they're all in their forty's and fifty's you know they don't speak English they're kind of very hard to employ like what's going to happen to them and I remember remember at the time my dad said you know you know I'm 70 years old I'm too old for this you know I'm too old to fight and I understand when my dad says that but at the time I decided that I wasn't too old to fight so I organized the community and sorry I organize security and lead this grassroots roots movement to fight city hall and fight one of the largest developers in all of Boston to try to hold. And our 1st public hearing was a really amazing turnout the and we got enough press that even the mayor's changed his tune and start supporting where we were coming from an incredible thing so after the 1st initial hearing I remember going to the store afterwards and and immediately when I walked in there was these 2 older women who were who were my dad's employees in the camera they rushed right up to me and I said thank you so much for what you did last night you know we normally don't think that we have a voice and we normally don't think we can advocate for ourselves in that kind of way so thank you for doing what you did and when I look and look when I looked into their eyes I think I felt like the same feeling probably that my dad felt when he saw the boy that once shoplifted or saw the old women outside the store weeping and when I looked into their eyes I saw so much compassion and humility and grace and it is that that moment that I understood the wisdom that my father had given me. Thank you thank you. Ellie Levy is an award winning director writer and producer of fiction animated and documentary films she is a 5 time national any ignored nominee Currently she's writing 2 screenplays one of which is loosely based on her family stories and Boston's Chinatown in the 1980 s. The fire and her dad store was a 9 alarm fire one of the biggest in Boston's spirit. Bellies parents immigrated to Boston from Hong Kong when she was a baby her father picked Boston because he wanted his kids to get a good education and the only schools he'd ever heard of were Harvard and mit Ellie is a graduate of Harvard University. Coming up in a rebellious teenager and a bipolar mother when the Moth Radio Hour continues. With. The most Radio Hour is produced by Atlantic Public Media in Woods Hole Massachusetts and presented by the Public Radio Exchange p r x dot org. Every day. Committed to the kind of journalism that's hard to find. Your commitment to make a difference and. Please Donate today at c.p.r. . Thanks. You want to talk about. Colorado 2020. You're listening to the radio from. Producer of the show. Jason show who told this story about his mother wisdom in the. Grand slam the theme of the night. Here's Jason. But the few times we did it was off the chart. I was fearing Yes I grabbed a handful of money ice stomped out of the house and I walked all the way to a pub. And once I got in that store I headed right to health and beauty and I snatched a home perm kit right off the shelf. I was going to perm my hair for my senior photos and no one was good on me. How do you even my mom who thought it was a terrible idea. Now growing up in a small town I was different I stuck out like a sore thumb back in the 4th grade my parents moved from Minneapolis to Little Falls Minnesota a small conservative rural farming community my whole life was basically Footloose. Only we could dance and I didn't look like Kevin Bacon. I just did not fit in with my peers and my classmates every day walking through the halls of school I was lost in the sea of mullets and Wrangler Gee it's. 2 different worlds colliding they like to smoke in wood shop class I like theatre arts they headbang to AC d.c. I vote to Madonna. They wore cowboy boots I had penny loafers. So if I left them might I called my friend Heidi. From the payphone on the street corner and I told her I'm coming over and I hung up . Now Heidi was the queen of bad decisions. Heidi loved to skip school if she even failed gym class and she was also dating a boy from juvie. Heidi open her door before I could even knock she knew something big was about to happen if she wanted it. So I threw that perm box on the table she grabbed a towel we were doing it. So we got the permit let me tell you this it took hours it was I'd nightmare I almost lost an eye . Chemical was everywhere my scalp was burning we lost a couple of chunks of hair but I knew it would be worth it because I figured I had changing my identity I'm going to be a new person when I go to school all the kids are going to stares I walk in slow motion. And they're going to be thinking. Oh who's that new cool kid. And how could I be friends with him. Sadly. It was me getting high from the fumes from the per. Se the next day my mom and I drove over to the portrait studio so I could have my senior photos taken. The silence in that car was deafening. As my mom was mute receiving rage. And I was smug it with victory. Prior to the perm my hair was long straight and brown I had an asymmetrical hair cards which was where one and it's a lot longer than the other and that's what over to the left. It was very flock of Siegel's 1918. So once I turned it. The length of my hair cause these giant ringlet. That bounce like crazy every time I took a step or snapped my neck. My hair had so much drama beyond say would be jealous. So once we're in the partner studio I took a can of moods I flipped off the cap made the giant mound of foam worked it into my hair and it was frozen in time. A few minutes later it was frozen in the tourney as the flash bulb. In my senior photo was taken my mom hung the photo up in our living room. And displayed it prominently she never missed an opportunity to tell anyone who came over to the house oh have you seen Jason senior photo. Why yes it is a perm it is hot Yeah I told him not to but no one listens the mom right Jason. Which I always was kind of a Ok Ok Listen it was popular at the time but the sad reality was the perm was never popular and I was never popular. One day I finally admitted to my mom I get it Mom it was a mistake just take the photo down and she looked at me and she said Oh honey. We all make mistakes that's how we figure out who we are in life unfortunately though sometimes mistakes live in a frame on the living room wall forever. That was Jason. Jason is a stand up comedian and storyteller he spent 2 years as the opening act for comedy icon. Jason says 14 years ago his mom one fortunately lost her battle with cancer but she would have been proud to see how things turned out and would have loved this story everyone always like it where is the picture of the perm did you put it back up and say yes the picture of me in the back up on the wall where my mom would want to be. To see photos of Jason and his mom and of course that photo visit our website. Our final story and parental lesson in this hour is from Louise Newton Louise told this story at an open mike story slam competition in Melbourne Australia where we partner with the Australian Broadcasting Corporation a b c r Here's with us. Ok so when I was young went in on my mother. The woods to me I love you I would die a little bit inside not because she didn't love me and not because I didn't love her because she did and I do but because that meant she was starting on another medical side say my mother struggled all her life with bipolar disorder that was undiagnosed and untreated until she was in a fifties. And it might for an interesting upbringing some of it was a lot of fun and we had some wacky times like when she dragged a sad bed at 2 in the morning to worship the moon. And when she I don't know how she did it but she got a whole stash of fireworks and we had our one fireworks night in the backyard and neighbors didn't like it but we loved it. But for the most part growing up with a parent with a mental illness was really tough and challenging particularly after my dad left he had his own set of circumstances and he left when I was tane jiggly after that it was just us and her and it was a really steep learning curve we learned more from mom than we did when I didn't 20 years of schooling we learnt that every year. So weight gain to kind beautiful woman would have what was then is a nervous breakdown and would transfer transform into someone we didn't know it was a bit like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde only it was mom and what we called Not bag mom. We learned that it was possible to have not bad mom scream abuse in your Feist's steal from whatever may go a little Bits you ran from your party from your pipe around or whatever jobs we got from the night this. Co you take this to tell them what a terrible horrible human being you were and she even called one of my uni lectures want I don't know how she got the time number but she did it was possible for her to do with that and for that to be archived for us to get past it and to forgive. We learnt compassion because for as much as we suffered and we did it was obvious even from that young guy that there was nobody who was struggling more than mom that day that she and she alone bore the brunt of this and she would have done anything to rid of self of that what she saw as a curse. We learned that the medical system files people with mental health issues it did then it does now nothing's changed. And we learnt to lie on each other. We knew we were very young and that the only way we were going to get through this was if we rallied together my brother my 3 sisters and I and protected ourselves and our mum so my brother when he was in Year 7 took over all of the finances that included talking to bank managers about the debts mum's. Organizing how to pay bills organizing a budget for the Wakely shopping my sister Mary about the Sinai started taking an energy and going down to the supermarket and buying things so we had food so the mum couldn't spend it all or nothing my job was to Mike from our 2 younger sisters did their homework so the school wouldn't come knocking on our door to say what was wrong. We learned to look after each other and we took it in turns to look after mom to bear the brunt of the lie just to make sure she was. To just for her when the inevitable collapse carried. But we also lent to be vigilant because even in the stable times and they were a lot of very good times we were always on the lookout for the next time the next episode and unfortunately one of the mind pointers for that was I love you I've lost track of the amount of times I've had conversations with my siblings or I would go something like. A mom loves me again I know it's going to be. Here we go hour. And I didn't just stop day you know the I love you's got more and more extreme the further she elevated often coming at the end of some he is insult you know you're a horrible person and I wish you'd never been born but I love you as if that I did I can I but it didn't. It was 3 beautiful words for me. And it made it almost impossible for me to be able to say them back and I don't know what it was but it stuck like a block in my chest and I found myself or someone I love yet that's thanks for that that's good coke right yeah good on ya but I was not going to side you know it was . Until a coffee is a guy my mom had what we thought was the mother of all episodes but it actually turned out to be an even worse condition. She had developed a condition called Lewy Body growing which is a form of dementia that is rapid and underling ting and has destroyed her body and her mind to make pass. She now is in a really lovely care facility and she cannot long go walk or fade ourself or claim a self and she could barely talk and I see your every Sunday and I hold a hand him sit with her and sometimes sometimes I talk at some most and sometimes we listen to music but most of the time Mom and I just sit in silence and it's very healing and it's very peaceful and I know she likes me there but the lessons still haven't stopped because my mother says 2 things to me and she said only 2 things to me for the last year the 1st one is when I get there and she says Oh it's you and great surprise and she said I placed as it is it is making and we sit together and then when I'm leaving she holds my hand and she smiles with her eyes and she says I love you Lou. And somehow it's action doesn't hurt me any more it doesn't make me cringe it actually feels right it feels perfect it feels beautiful so I guess the lesson I've learnt perhaps the last lesson Oliver learned from my mother. He's happy he's eyes which I love you and have to say them back I love you Mom See you soon. Be my. Reveries leave. Louise is a freelance writer and university administrator from Melbourne Australia when she's not working Louise spends her time writing reading big celebration cakes or walking the beautiful tree lined streets of her neighborhood she says her driving passion is family and she's the proud mother of 4 mostly adult children and a spook all called advocates Luisa has always been the teller of her family stories a role she cherishes. Mom Dad and 28. It was a gentle death she slipped away in her sleep with. My last visit to her son you say. I held her home and played music to her and read to her a chapter her favorite book was a woman. By that stage she had virtually lost the power of speech but she did small often. She looked into my eyes and whispered I love you one last time and. It has been nearly 2 years more since Mom passed away and I still miss having your in my life. But I like to think of her as very now very of the mental illness that she fought side bravely for so long I have to mention that hold her phone a few leaves. And that somewhere somehow she is smiling at having her story told. And I will be for ever grateful that the last words she heard me say. Love you too mom. To see photos of Louise and her mother you can visit our website to come on in. To have a story you'd like to tell us we welcome your pages you can record them right on our site that's the mark dot org or call 877799 mos that 877799664 we listen to all of them the best ones are developed from our shows all around the world. Time or a story is about my little did attempt 11 year old son Luke get over the fear of being beaten by a baseball and it envelops we taking him up to the coin operated betting cages in center. And bursting him to watch me and surely struck by a pitch just so that he could see that it wasn't that big of a deal except that it it kind of was a big deal I I don't think either of us will ever forget the sound that Paul Mead is it going to shade on my elbow and I know I'll never figure it the pain it was so excluded and I'll never forget the fact that my son only cried because the very 1st time. We're going to that little incident didn't help Luke get over the fear of getting being inducted that accomplished anything is that we're both now terrified that engages. It's a good team now and he's really the chair near organized sports but I know that he knows your did. Well off and that I didn't intend to find solution. Very eager to help. Them. Remember And you can pitch us 77799 or online. Or new. You can share these stories or any others from the moth archive and find out about more storytelling events in your area all through our website the most on or. Around You can find a show near you and come out and tell us a story find us on social media to We're on Facebook and Twitter at the. That's it for this hour and we hope you'll join us next time and that's the story from them on. The stories in the show were directed by Catherine Burns and Meg Bowles with additional coaching by Michelle Jill out ski the rest of the moss directorial staff include Sarah Habermann Sarah Austin Janessa and Jennifer Hudson production support from Emily couch our pitch came from Peter Rudy most stories are true as remembered in a firm by the storytellers our theme music is by the drift to other music in this hour from Julie in law 10 had trio blue dots sessions and Lotus you can find links to all the music we use at our website The Moth Radio Hour is produced by me Jay Allison with Vicki Merritt at Atlantic Public Media and Woods Hole Massachusetts this hour was produced with funds from the National Endowment for the Arts moderato hours presented by the. Public Radio Exchange p.r. X. Dot org for more about our podcast for information on pitching us your own story and everything else go to our website. You're listening to c.p.r. News 90 point one k c f i f m Denver 49 am k.c. And h.t. At 90 point one f.m. And on line at c.p.r. . Support comes from good buy gear and online marketplace for 2nd hand baby and kid gear committed to moving from a disposable society to a recycling society learn about buying gently used toy stores and more at good buy gear dot com. Beethoven's birthday is just around the corner and c.p.r. Classical is celebrating with a live broadcast of the Colorado Symphony. It's an all Beethoven concert featuring music from the Emperor piano concerto and the Immortal 5th Symphony. I'm David Monday night at 730. As we celebrate Beethoven's birthday live from better concert with the Colorado Symphony details. Coming up Democrats in the u.s. . Election victory. For the Democratic Party. Of human rights abuses. And later we go live to Madrid where. The risk of catastrophic global warming of. The world news. Hello this is the b.b.c. News if you know MacDonald negotiations at the u.n. Climate summit in Madrid are continuing into Saturday without an agreement in sight the 2 week meeting known as cock 25 was meant to decide on rules for the implementation of the 2015 Paris climate agreement Aryans Coopers reports last week the new Time Person of the year the Swedish teenage climate activists creator implored delegates in Madrid to take urgent action and come up with something concrete her words seem to have fallen on deaf ears many key issues that were left open after last year's summit in Poland remain unresolved one of the sticking points is compensation for developing countries for damage resulting from.