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And welcome you are tuned into my weekly Doc radio show called Take my advice I'm not using it get balance with Dr Maria say every Tuesday at naturally high noon here out of the sun say Gary studios in Hollywood California with Universal Broadcasting Network and every search day syndicated on c n.b.c. News radio channel k c a a a m 1050 f.m. 102.3 f.m. 106.5 and everywhere on i Heart Radio and this is a show about hope and happiness so there's no gossip no scandal no k. Words at all no car that she and talk at all instead I want you to focus on your reality show called your life and how you can be happy 88 percent of the time they . For I have guests in topics that highlight that 88 percent of everyone from I have had Mohammed Ali's daughter Layla as well as Marianne Williamson to Marianne from Gilligan's Island if you've missed anything please go to either i Tunes or You Tube for radio you can hear and see since I now have cameras in the studio and thank you so much listeners I've broken the 90000 view Mark in just a little over 2 years thank you very much thanks and thank you Jarvis for always supporting me in everything make me do these fabulous as well as everyone who's listening and reading on my Facebook Linked In Twitter and Instagram Yes I am everywhere splattering you with more hope and happiness and it is that time of the month it is time for Marvin Gaye I know he's not coming here but if we are doing sexual healing with Dr Morris every last week of the month and it is here now and if you've missed any of those series specials everywhere from how to improve the quality of your orgasm all the way to the other side which is how do we eliminate female genital mutilation as well as introverts in love or how to improve your relationship communication with 5 languages of love you oh it's all there for you go to You Tube go to the play list Sexual Healing with Dr Murray the new Asian Dr Ruth because I am determined to make pleasure Eiji raided topic and today I am so blessed to have a couple my 1st couple to actually come on. On this special series and that is Adam and Randy Mark Mark hell did I. Get a right right and I'm going to read just a little bit Randi is the president of I love my life helping clients create better results both personally and professionally through ritual and heart center programs together with her husband and business partner Adam Markel they leave they lead both intimate workshops using the 7 pillars to an ultimate relationship for singles and couples as well as facilitate on large stages all over North America and overseas excuse me health helping people discover and build a solid foundation for all their relationships her passion enthusiasm for women empowerment has led her to become the co-founder and managing director of the Brit Viva printer Academy an online business Academy for women entrepreneurs Adam on the other hand is c.e.o. Bestselling author attorney attorney international speaker and transformational leader and has trained hundreds of thousands of people all across the United States Southeast Asia Canada who Europe and Australia and how to pivot to living a life of purpose passion and freedom known as one of the most charismatic speakers you'll ever see and hear Adam Markel is admired for his refreshing and inspiring impact on entrepreneurs creative thinkers and leaders worldwide He's also the Wall Street Journal and USA Today best selling author of pivot the art and science of reinventing your career in life a recognized expert in the integration of business and personal transformation Adams been interviewed by Fox News News Day The New York Post The Wall Street Journal and now the Asian over Oprah please welcome to the studio Randy and Adam Mark. They're here that's awesome and I learned something but what did you learn I learned that you're Canadian Yes you know that yes born in Kitchener Waterloo and. I learned that you're an attorney . I don't hold that you do yeah I won't I won't recover your journey and your recovering attorney Yeah I've gone on a 3 dates with an attorney so we'll see how that goes yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yes I'm I'm I'm I might need an attorney intervention here. Yeah well we'll see about that because I've got so many jokes going through my head right now I really have to write everybody's heard I'm all worked out Ok for didn't why I was I'm going to ask you so so you started so he was an attorney practicing attorney when you 1st met him or in law school how did you guys meet He was actually a sophomore in college taking a trampoline class when I met him you were taking trampolines you just jumped off together that yeah you were in class together is that how you met. Her. That's so cool All right so it's so did you know so you didn't know you were going to be a lawyer I had no idea you had no idea yeah yeah he went to law school that was his 2nd Jones he was started out as a teacher and then became a lawyer so it was Ok and you've been there the whole time and you've watched this transformation and you're behind in supporting this transformation watching pivot after pivot. Which pivot has been your favorite But you say the last one yes yes I did we're going through right now are a pivot yardarm pivot the current pivot Well I just love the fact that he has a tag line that says I love my wife and I love my life that's right and so we actually met in Florida he was brought on stage with these glowing accolades by Bernie Dorman who's been on my show was about to have a. And and so so he came on and he lived up to his introduction and then we met I got some time with him and within 2 mean minutes he had me in tears. So that's it is I that's that's something that I like to do to people because then I feel like I've touched their heart but they're not supposed to do it back at me so at that moment I knew I had to have them on the show and then I said you know I'm booked through till August for regular shows would you like to do sexual healing the series in these like with my wife absolutely that's where here Yes So so let's jump right into the pleasure question what would you say is the most the so the most common blocks in couples that are impacting their pleasure in a negative way what would you say are things that that you know couples come to you and you go so let's start there. I had something come up you want me to go for that Ok cool. I feel like people all the time are making an assumption in their relationship and they assume that the other person knows what they want and so ready and I had this debate it's probably a couple years ago when I came home and I said you know the issue with relationships is that there are expectations that we just need to get rid of all expectations and then we'll have you know they'll be more harmony she looked at me yes if she does holds no bunches right Ulysses is really you know it is like what are you talking about how can we possibly have relationships without expectations they go no place I said all right when I go back to the drawing board you know I took it as like a little boy I just turned and left you know and sulking and then and then it hit me I said no it's not it's not expectations it's unstated expected. That's the issue is that we we have these things that we expect and we also at the same time expect our spouse or significant other to be a mind reader Yeah even our business partners we expect them to all just don't you know me don't you know the way I want my eggs cooked up you know the way I you know I write this position in the better whatever it is right no you expect that person is going to know exactly which one you know and that's that's I think that huge challenge for people huge huge That's from the east coast huge Yeah I did not Donald Trump right I do you agree with that I do agree with that I also would say that at the most foundational level it is how we take care of ourselves and what we bring into the relationship and the responsibility we take for that because I know for myself when I'm not feeling good when I'm not taking care of my body I'm not eating well I don't feel romantic and that will impact our relationship so it's my responsibility to bring that right and last month I had guests on who were talking about you know it is a gender difference around sex and the frequency that that men will always want more than the woman generally most of the time not all the time but that's sort of the and that creates some conflict and they brought up this really interesting point that I hadn't thought of which is men. When they want it they want it and they wanted to me it Lee and they don't have an issue when things are so women on the other hand want to have everything done like the dishes put away in the clothes folded in the kids' fad and and then then when everything's die and then come at me you know but but. So so I never thought about that that that was a real stickler to to to the. I mean so here's here's what's coming up for me Ok as as a guy and I So I think what you just said generally is true yeah you know not that surveyed everybody but that rings true so if you said to me if Randy said to me so here's here's how I see the day going or the night going like we get the kids taking care we get the dishes done we do x. Y. And Zed right because you're from Canada yes yes that's very good I beg and then we're going to get busy I'll tell you what I've got all the motivation in the world to take her e single one of those things but when that's not stated there's not there's not that little carrot that's out there is the this is why we do things or yeah yeah yeah and that's how we come together yeah then maybe I'm going to get lucky maybe I'm not going to get lucky right I don't know if I want to do the dishes when I'm tired Right right right that's that's a great point and then somebody will say to me but isn't it because everybody says communication communication creation that's what's going to make the successful relationship you have to talk about what you like and need in Baba blah and then I go but what happens. You know can't isn't it supposed to be magical like you don't have to talk about it so much and I like it here and there and 2 inches and all of that doesn't that take the magic out of the magic. Well maybe the magic will happen once you establish Yeah yeah talking about it I mean maybe eventually you don't have to talk about it yeah yeah it's become finance it is that that you know that. How hard no pun intended How hard does it have to be. To make a relationship work yeah I don't know if it has to be hard it's just something gone wrong sideways. Because my brain just this is about creating context we I mean we use that word for a bunch of things but context in the sense that you've got expectations they're there they're stated this kind of rules for the for the engagement and I know the kind of sounds funny in a relationship but when we teach we teach about rules of engagement Ok including how to how to argue how to have a healthy conflict about something but what we're talking about is not about conflict it's about you know what's what's just the the understand like you wouldn't get on a baseball field or a soccer field and just start playing any old way you play by the rules you know where the boundaries are and when those things are low and there's a scoreboard you know all kinds of things to help you understand where you are in the game right and that's for great entertainment people love that yeah so why shouldn't your sex life or your or your life with with your partner also be supported in the same way that you would set a context for your business or for sports or anything that setting it up to succeed to succeed exactly for a result that you both want right right now you your book pivot right and your We're here to talk about pivoting in the bedroom if you've just tuned in. If you've just tuned in you are tuned in to take my advice I'm not using it good balance with the and it is the sexual healing with Dr Morris a series today and you're listening to Randy and. Adam Markel and we're talking about how to make your relationships better how to have more pleasure how to feel more intimate and so let's just pretend that I am. A woman who and I get this a lot so a woman who's in a relationship and the relationships gone stale they haven't had sex for 1235 years they don't necessarily want to get divorced because of the expense or it's just you know it's too much work they don't want to date anybody else because they're too old for that they're just in this thing. Called a relationship and it's like they've become in significant others has that that's my that's my term for it so how would you work with me and let's say I'm in that relationship and let's say he doesn't want to come and work with you together I want to work with you this is getting really Al right this is really really so so what how would you coach me to pivot Well 1st of all I would lead women's retreats for many years and this is a real issue yes I'm sure women sit in women circle and go I'm devastated because the love of my life. Is not wanting to be with me yeah and it becomes a habit Yes So you have to learn how to break that habit Adam and I we talk about the 7 pillars to an ultimate relationship and the reason that we've identified these We've been together for more than 30 years and the long haul and you use it well of Ole. You have. Absolutely absolutely so there's not there's not really just one thing that I could say would be that the catalyst that's going to make that happen so 7 Pillars give me the 7 real quick Ok you ready honey Yes So the 1st one is what I had said before 1st loving yourself and what you're bringing into your relationship what your responsibility is of how you're showing up how you're taking care of yourself Ok are you being romantic Are you coming to do anyway should feel good about your body let alone how he feels about your body exactly you know that's a tough one it's a tough one that's because I want somebody to love me exactly as I am and if I've gained some weight because of babies or age or meadow paws or Mino paws then I want them to love me that way right so and that's wonderful if you love yourself that when. Things ask your if you're naked in the room and walking around and you're not loving that little pouch I mean I've had 4 babies so I've had to learn to embrace that part of me and though I see I already said has he has he ever said you know look at how you used to look or look that that's never ever ever I I I'm a man that says a lot of people say this is I hope I don't I don't even care if I really hate men he will say this you say that you're a fool you're acting you're behaving like a fool and you need to own that that's why you know I was no reason to ever say that you know. Never say that to your mother your sister if you had any sensitivity Oh yeah you know and if you've done that hey you're listening sayers like chain you only get down on your hands and knees and apologize for yeah that's awful Yeah but back to what you said I think the issue is in putting it on someone else I want to turn that again now even turn it on women listening to this right because nobody wants to be a victim nobody enjoys being around a victim Ok Right so the idea is for you to take responsibility for all of us to love ourselves 1st you cannot expect anybody else to love us more than we love ourselves and I think that's at the core of the challenge right yeah right we that we project that onto other people like fix me or love me so much that I'll love myself that much more right wing Right right right yeah it doesn't that's that's the hardest piece yes there 1st let's sell 1st pillar foundation pillar yes which is why I started feel good and look good naked group on Facebook because joined I guess. Because I didn't like what was happening yeah and so I've lost 60 pounds since. We look beautiful thank you and I'm starting to feel it you know I have to work on my own issues because I was told I was fat ugly and clumsy growing up so that voice you know I've been working with and you know our our friend Maureen she taught me how the 1st thing in the morning say yes yes yes and i'm beautiful Also I've been doing that to try to counteract all that negativity and things that are in there but they don't have to be as loud Daisy they use the I love my life mantra in the morning when you wake up. I use it as a hash tag Oh. Well I am grateful all that I really do love my life I love you know I'm so grateful so grateful it's where all of it's imperfect Yeah and perfect the same time sounds like her finish her face exactly but that's that's the I mean that's I think the kernel of it yeah. Even with not being the weight ideal weight or whatever it is you think you know or have been programmed Yeah the media and stuff to think is what beauty looks right right right right when you love yourself you do you love yourself you know with wrinkles and other things that you know you don't have to keep if you don't want to but still yeah you love yourself 88 percent of the time that's my measure if I can love myself 88 percent of the time I'm good so let's let's say I get to that point of loving myself 88 percent of the time and then I say I deserve better than a man or a partner who treats me like crap Well that's a possible result yeah those women circles that I sat in for all those years sometimes they would go home and if their husband of 2530 years was not into making those changes not into exploring what was there for them. There with there were people that broke up yeah yeah yeah and that's probably the best possible solution but it's one solution it is going for it one solution Ok pillar to pillar to intimacy and we say into me see I love that yeah and it's so important because it's more than just about sex it's about how you are with one another are you going to let the facade down yes so that your partner has the opportunity to really see what's going on inside and then wrong that raw part that after a whole day is a day of work and you come home and you're just feeling not well not good about yourself are you going to just shut it off and not talk and then your partner wonders what's going on why are they in a bad mood or are you just going to allow yourself to be seen just how you are this is a biggie for men you know women I think generally speaking are more willing to be vulnerable and and want to speak and when will come home and they just want to sit on the couch put a drink in their hand you know and like decompress for the day yeah and and I. Part of that is because we don't see where have been trained to think of vulnerability as a strength and what we do share with people is that vulnerability is a great strength in a relationship yeah for a man to say hey you know what I don't love my job it kind of sucks and I'm feeling this strain I don't know what to do about it because I feel like the world is on my shoulders to support the family and the house and all that stuff yeah and to say that is he said it's intimate in a way that's actually sexy So the sad we say vulnerability is sex yeah that's a tough one because our society does not support that our upbringing does not support that if if I had a guy on a date tell me that you know he really was. Concerned about his ability to be successful and and I would be like. Well that might I might not be a 1st date type of conversations Ok I don't know that's your lead. You know it's almost like Woody Allen right. And I'm insecure and you know yeah well I kind of there maybe there's a few women to be attracted to that but now I think this is about being authentic and not playing into the roles so yes Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus you know John Grey's a friend of ours and he's been on twice oh away cold yeah so there are certain things that are part of our d.n.a. Is just the way we are on some level and yet you know awareness is a great tool because as soon as you're aware of something you get a choice and so look if your marriage is going along great then what we're saying may not be something you need to consider but if it's not the way you want to be or you're you're not attracting people or keeping people in your life that you want to keep well then these are things for consideration maybe a plane your cards a little too close to the vest so how would I Who's Coming to you as your client go back and have a conversation about intimacy what I even talk about it or what I just begin to lay myself. Out on the line and say look you know I'm not happy I want us to be more how would you be coaching me on barrier to I mean pillar to not barrier to wealth to me it's about modeling everything we want to see we 1st have to to display so and that's tough it has become only go to a seminar or read a book or something if you want to share with your partner and go hey this is what we need to do right yeah change everything make it better and that's a challenge we are always asked that what do we do want to get home it's like well well you 1st start to incorporate this for yourself right integrate this what you've learned or what's interesting to you yeah for you yeah and then somehow it's it's other people see a change they go you know what's going on with you and but whatever it is I like it yeah and it attracts So vulnerability just attracts vulnerability honesty attracts honest yeah yeah I tell my clients don't tell anybody you just wait till they asked you if they ask you some things change what is it then you're allowed to say something because if you tell them or if I go to my and significant other and say I think we should do this now tell me if this is true or not I've heard that men because they are so. You know want to protect that image that if they're told that they're wrong or they're told that there's something that needs to be improved then they internalize it as they've done something wrong and it shuts them down that's what I've heard. It you know what it also depends on the the reaction or the response that you get from that that partner because the partner kind of bulletin you or makes you feel bad about the fact to join have all the answers then your tendency is going to not want to not to expose yourself in that way and so it's it's like dancing you know to partner well on the dance floor somebody has to lead somebody else to follow that's just the way it has Yeah yeah but when you do that then then it's beautiful Yeah yeah Ok so is it that sounds like you can't have 5050 there's no such thing as 50500 you have to bring your 100 percent of your 50 percent exactly. 100 percent but that leading and following is not 5050 sounds like 5149 all you think well because you're replacing an award like leader is supposed to be better than following rather than could be that sometimes in situations you're leading and someone else is falling and then and vice versa I think the greatest teachers in the world are the greatest students and the greatest leaders in the world understand what it means to follow Otherwise you're an autocrat you're a dictator we know what that feels like right the politics of the world show us that those things don't feel great people feel empowered under under that type of leadership quote So yeah in a marriage Look I make some decisions unilaterally at times Randy does the same and we've just learned in essence not only to trust ourselves 1st but then to trust in each other so that yeah do we make mistakes I've blown. I've won millions of dollars in our relationship through you know vestments that didn't work or businesses that failed and we've made a lot of money so but it's not a balancing of we made more than we've done and it's just a question of are we in it together or or is it will or are we keeping score right so I've never that beautiful lady over there from day one I've never felt like she was ever keeping score on my wins or my losses there's that yeah that's a recipe for disaster Yeah yeah and that that does you know I tell when I do couples counseling I asked the woman how many how many times has she complimented her her significant other in the last week and that's very telling to you had Marianne Williamson on the show yeah and Randy probably remembers her go to a better you know this she said something that blew us away well yeah you want to share that I don't remember the exact words but she said when your partner leaves the house for the day do you do you pray for them. Do you pray for their wellbeing their happiness and we were just like. Wow brought brought everything to a whole different level you know and that that's a fundamental because you're supposed to be your biggest fan right that that's supposed to be your biggest fan but most relationships I know it's your biggest criticism like what haven't you done for me lately. Or what have you that yeah so good billet What number are we and we're going to 3 of these and we're now more than halfway through the show so in fact we have to take a break and we'll come back and do 34567 where we were when we're back because I do want to thank the sponsor that makes the show possible if you'd like to be a sponsor of this show that splatters hope and happiness base to contact me at the number 4 balance dot org And I would love that so we'll be back in tune to peace in peace out. I am Dr. Your cheerleader for hope and happiness. You know well I'm perfect for you if you want to lose weight and start playing yes for 21 day fast from complying with Dr Murray as that is now available every day you'll get a balance to. Play as well. If you. Press a button. And if you make the entire day with out you'll get. Thank you and you. To help complain and and 21 days. You'll get over all as well as a way to post your try out with your friends and family on Facebook. So. Remember. Then if you go back and you were didn't say you why are we going to talk radio show God take my advice I'm not using it get balance with Dr Morris every Tuesday at naturally high noon I was like our studios in Hollywood California on universal Broadcasting Network and then every Thursday at 7 Saturday a one on my syndicated c m b c news radio channel k.c. Am 1050 f m one a 2.3 f.m. When a 6.5 and everywhere and i Heart Radio and today it is sexual healing with done during recess the new Asian Dr Ruth determined to make pleasure a g. Rated and sometimes a g. Spot rated topic and today's guests are my 1st couple Randy and and and Adam Adam in the market well and we were just yakking away and jobs is like we're coming back or gamma because we are just having a Larry yes. And we don't have time to do because we're going through the pillars of an intimate relationship and ultimately and all to which I leave you with and as I'm a relationship yes pillar 3 there were 3 base camp this is what we came up with once we identified that this is what we did so base camp is a time that it's a very consciously planned time for Adam and I that we get together and we regroup we take a deep breath we talk about what's going on in our lives start planning for the next thing that needs to be happening it is time that we spend together. That's needed not where we're passing in the kitchen and going hey what's going on what's going up what's up with you yeah it's a conscious practice Yeah so we don't just kind of bump into each other like you know she's testing and yet it sounds like you're taking your relationship and making it as important as a career as your individual and loving yourself so the relationship becomes the thing to groom if it's a or it's a ritual of rituals Yeah so could be doing the you know crossword puzzle in bad or taking a walk around the block with the dogs with a cluster of wine in your hand or taking you know going to a certain spot but so base camp is a place to regroup as Randi said to re energize reorganised just to be present with each other you know if we don't make that time and so yeah yeah base camp yeah yeah pillar for Heller for well this one is building up or holding space depending on who you ask so for me it's building up for really it's called holding space and. Let's just say we we have things that are going on and a lot of some of us are dealing with Randy is a cancer survivor and and I've had several pivots in my career where I stopped I was a lawyer for 18 years decided came home one day and I looked her in the eye after having missed the kids go to sleep for the umpteenth time and I said to her if I keep doing what I what I'm doing you're going to be a widow. So that was a big deep breath moment and you know mortgage cars dogs kids everything you know and she said to me Wolf we'll figure it out and so for us she was building me up she never said to me hey listen you got to keep doing what you do and I don't care if you like it you don't have to like it we've got a job to do here raise your kids put us through college get in the marriage you're married and then we can think about ourselves like I never got that from her what I got was we'll figure it out like you don't love what you're doing let's figure out what you do love you know and that's building up and Randy calls it something else oh yeah I heard that. Holding space like you described it perfectly and that's something that we're we're so lucky as a couple to have figured out a long time ago that I am not here to fix Adam in any way and I'm here to support what he wants to do with his life because I know that when he's working on projects that he's passionate about and he's feeling good about himself he's going to show up for me as the very best for and of himself has the very best husbands and that's been our experience and advice from vice a versa you know there was a time I was a teacher for 18 years elementary school teacher and I wanted to stop my mom was not well I wanted to be with her and came to Adam and just said I need stop working I know I had health insurance the whole thing and I would love for you to support and he didn't even blink twice that was it yeah you know it's a do what you need to do to feel do you guys ever fight of course and I think you know I did this morning right here. But you have rules that's the next That's the next is there you go saying Wait there's 4 engagement. How to have a healthy argument and healthy conflict is so important because 1st of all polarity is a good thing in a relationship anyway so to agree for a degree everything should be this color we should do this you know there's not going to be a lot of tension there you know sexual tension there will be a lot of you know make up sex yeah I mean there's that too. But to argue is a part of you know I grew up in a house very volatile lot of loud stuff a lot of arguing that went on so I was pretty easy for me what I learned was what not to do in an argument from from my parents God bless them and they're both still alive and doing great and yet I know that you do not say things to win an argument that you would otherwise think are awful things to say to somebody certainly somebody you love and you don't get to just kind of do the you know later on I'm sorry thing and expect that that's Ok you. And ring a bell you cannot yet say I thought you guys are soul mates here. Yeah well well we're talking about the subject that really Yeah so you can have actual rules for how to conduct an argument so that you know like we met a couple and you've been around they've been together for a long time and they said whenever we're in an argument or about to get in 11 of them cues the other by looking at them and saying you know you're you're really attractive. Yeah that's a great idea chuckle for a 2nd yeah we met a guy in the in the car we were in Australia teaching this work to a bunch of people out there which was just beautiful and on the way to the from the airport to the venue the guy in the chorus to ask him some questions we asked him some questions says yeah you know you we said to him so do you argue with your wife he said Absolutely she says but he says he goes but my wife a Sicilian who said Ok So what does that mean he says well she's a zillion means we start an argument she's going to the 1st thing she does is she takes out like a machete and she cuts my head off you know the thing is that I've done and she should sue me like you like she has one method of arguing that is to kill to go in for the slaughter right so what do you do that you just know no argument goes nowhere together 20 years we have a or rule about it and what their rule is they sit down as soon as they know that's where it's headed they sit down and they discuss what they agree on 1st before they get to the stuff that they you know that triggered the thing with you know what do we agree on and that's the way that they get they create some space so that they don't go down that path that they can't sort of turn back from too easily Yeah so really important to identify as a couple what the role Yeah like that wouldn't work for Adam and I for Adam and I well for me I need a healthy pause I need to just step back and I need time to just process and think and then I'm ready Ok so him looking at me and saying hey you're attractive. That wouldn't work for us. But it really works for this other cup raw and I rather out what that is what kills our beautiful you number so we think yeah 6 words 6 which is pretty acacia So that sounds like all that so obvious services communication and again it is for research yeah you know you have to put attention in a place that is fundamental and that is how do you actually communicate so are you expressing your desires are you being clear about what your boundaries are or do you just again assume that someone else is a mind reader and that's that's a big challenge Yeah but again that it's a difficult one for especially for me because I don't nest and especially if people are conflict avoidant you know you don't want to bring up something that is going to be a rub or something that is going to create waves but what we don't understand is if you don't raise it it's already being away that's right is allowed to Missy Yeah yeah that's why these are all really interconnected Yeah beautiful 7 hours and it turns into passive aggressive behavior as well I have no idea what that. I don't see other people don't like not getting what they would yeah but number 7 is is the most grounding of all and that's gratitude Yeah. Yeah it's that that seeing only the stuff that is is self affirming in couple of firming even in the face of chaos Yeah or disruption you can find if you can come into a place of gratitude. Yeah you know about each other or about life in general or all I know there you know we asked our kids about this we said so we're preparing to go overseas and we want to share something not just from our experience but what's your you know how do you feel about our relationship as we ask them that's what was what their behalf take away that they want to bring into their relationships as they got older and what they all said was gratitude they said you guys model that not just at the dinner table but all the time just being grateful for our lives and for what's going on the good the bad the ugly and certainly each other and I think it's. You cannot be in fear and be in a grateful state at the same time those things are mutually exclusive so fear is running it's either love or fear and so you can take a deep breath and go so what is what's running me and what's running this relationship right now is it fear about money right money is a huge issue in relationships and it's all scarcity Yeah the limitations sure yeah I am so proud of the one thing I've done with my daughters is one great thing about divorce is you get to choose how you parent and so every day that I took them to school they had to be grateful for one thing about their sister one thing about their mother and one thing about themselves and every single day and we still do it when my daughter calls in from Cornell in the morning we do the same exercise and set up and they're incredible So good job thank you with that I mean it is the power of gratitude Dr Wayne Dyer would say start the day with 5 I say 8 because I'm an overachiever and it's like you know we start I mean we start with What do you start with wine yeah I love without it but I love my life there you go there you go right yeah greatest life's work is is instilling that my children Yeah I hear you and they're beautiful I've met one of them right you met I'll say yeah at the which event we've been a novel and stoppable That's right. Yeah wonderful and I we through the 7 we are how we made their. Ships Yeah Ok so so going back to me as a client it sounds like after listening to all 7 of those that the only one I truly have control over is the 1st one after the 1st one and if I can do myself I if I can do that for myself and then model it at the home and see if it makes a difference and if it doesn't make a difference then sit down and have a heart to heart conversation as. Domino that 1st one is the one that tips over the next and the next gets to because the one before it. This is the biggest work of our allies I mean if I had if I was given a magic wand to wave in the world it would be that people would love themselves more because that it translates across the board to everything else yeah but you're right if if your engaged in a relationship and in doing this work and nothing is coming back you know there's a time and place for things to begin as a time and place for things to end yeah yeah I'm very grateful that you know I mean that that generation where divorce isn't so horrible you know that that it's it was an improvement on the loving self continuum but yeah so so in the end you're going to set me up with the things doesn't work with who have been living if you like thinking about you all right now yeah you know me a little bit about Harry I'm taking notes I know I'm there you go there you go so the last thing I always ask people is what do you grateful for and who are you grateful for in your life beautifully Well I'm grateful for my incredible family and for this man sitting over there I really do love my wife and I love the work we're doing in the world I love having an impact and I love you oh I love you do. You to fall. In this I'm having a moment I'm having a moment Yes I love you Randi dear yes I love our lives I love our kids I love what we're doing and I love that it's perfectly imperfect in this moment and yes receive your divine love you you know if you 2 she said. Yes. And I am going to give you Dr Merce's beneficial presence on the planet toward. To the ground. When I did not all my guests get that way go on a while yeah I do I mean I you know get to do research before people come on and I just see all the stuff I knew partially what you do but I love the work that you're doing and I think it's wonderful that you know there are good role models for successful beautiful loving relationships and there is a map and I think the fact that you're taking this around the world is a really good thing and I love the way you constantly acknowledge you know and it's not just like. You know that behind every good man is of whatever I mean I do see the that I like that lead follow it's not a bad thing it's not a bad thing to have someone leading in someone follow and I think that's my big aha and unfortunately I think sometimes feminism just like takes it all the way which it needs to because there has to be a balance and we've been all the way there for so long but I think the mutual support and there's nothing wrong with having a woman in the home doing the work of support and at the same time being able to do their thing and having their support I think it's a I think it's a beautiful thing you get to choose yes you do yes you do so to both of you for coming on the air with me and best of everything to you you know you so much right that was Randy and Adam Oh yes thank you for reminding me the Asian Oprah giveaway . Is I've gotten them to agree to give a. They have all we have to have a new look a well that will do a couple's consultation so one lucky couple one lucky couple lucky or we'll be the lucky ones because we get to meet 2 amazing people yes yes conversation about that and the the winner for that will be the 1st one to go to my website the number 4 balance dot org and put in the on the air contact. 7 Pillars and then I'll know who that is for the counseling and then the 2nd age you know Brett and then they way the next one is for everybody who wants to look at where there's room for improvement in the their businesses career reinvention of some kind event relationship yet or health and that's by going to start my pivot they'll get 6 questions beautiful to help them kick start and that kickstart help. Them to see where they're at are they you know in a situation where they're wanted to design something new or whether sort of the disruption in the world around them is creating a need actually great for something new to pierce a story my pivot dot com That's for all of my listeners so take advantage of that all right and that's it for my guests today think. And as per usual oh going to and the show with Balance Bar CIA invites you to show up to the bar for a little bit more balance and to join me in different balance a given these and we just finished round 72 of the 21 day fast from complaining with Dr Morrison So you're off the hook you can complain to your heart's discontent Today however July 1st it will be round 73 officially starting my 6th year on this good life habit so if you were able to complete the $21.00 consecutive days in a row without complaining and join my hall of fame that has only 3 winners 3 women so we have no men who have successfully done that but please do contact me if you have been able to complete the fast for a prize a free copy of my motivational cards the 52 card pick me up so stacking the deck for life balance with Dr Morrison this week I am let's see I am oh save the date I am doing another balance on the beach with many workshop that's July 15th so sign up and register on my website Dr Morrison dot tv and finally August 1st to 5th I will be keynoting of as my 1st new faculty member. We're at c.e.o. Space international Yes I've been. Invited invented so if you'd like to sign up for that please go to w.w.w. Welcome dot c.e.o. Space international dot com forward slash Dr Morrison you'll get my special rates so that is it for this week next week my special guest is another c.e.o. Space international bodies Steve Haake Farber bestselling author who actually inner viewed me in a great article for Inc magazine if you ask me I know humbly said it's called. Perfectionism actually hold you back and here's how to let go so if you'd like to read that it's a great interview very so grateful that Steve was able to get that all out of me go to ache dot com Just look at Steve Farber or search my name Dr Morrison and you will find it and that's it for take my advice I'm not using it get balance with Dr Mersa pay that's p. For positive and remember it's all about balance peace in and peace out. 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Primm dot com That's a in g I o p r I am dot com or talk to a train consultant call angio prim toll free at 877-882-7221 you feel better with more energy call 877-882-7221 or go to the website angio primp dot com This is Joe Lyons Guardian jet Center Honors America now in its 241st year as the world's leading democracy. 241 years ago a small group of men changed the course of American history one of those men was William Ellery a lawyer from Newport Rhode Island he was well known in colonial times as a writer and as a man of great humor he was a popular citizen in his state and quickly was chosen as a delegate to the capital Congress when Congressman began to be elected by popular vote he was constantly reelected and gained a reputation as an effective and talented politician he was appointed collector of customs for the Port of Newport and he proved to be so good at the job that he held the post for 30 years on Independence Day 2017 we remember William Ellery who signed the Declaration of Independence and became a founder of our American republic. Could a guardian Jetsetter salutes the American way of life Guardian the most advanced those operator of the various international airport redefines we expect the general aviation business traveller one client of the. Guardian the opportunity to advance the customer experience Happy birthday America from the Guardian consider the gateway to Southern California. 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