New jersey. I think that happened and unfortunately the waterboarding didnt take. Caution, you are about the enter the no spin zone. The factor begins right now. Hi, im bill oreilly. The best of our dynamic duo edition. We begin with miller. You believe that barack obama wants to diminish the power of america . Well, bill, you say every night i hear you saying hes too smart. He must have a play. He doesnt have a play, billy. He doesnt have a play, man. This isnt a jujitsu thing. This is the way he sees the thing. Our only hope in the future is russia and china go after the same piece of meat. Maybe we come in the number one position. Sorry im late to the barbecue. Im thankful he keeps biden out of it. Imagine, imagine. So im just happy. And putin next year is going to be on dancing with the stars. Listen, at this point, putin is in obamas head. Its like that film called duel. The putin truck is banging him in the back, hi aint going to do anything about it. Do you like merkel in germany . Listen, the hun, what is that old saying . Either at your throat or at your feet. Listen, they got a bad track record. They cant jump into a war again unless mb is bungee jumping off a building in berlin. They can help out a little bit. And then weve got hollande in france. He may be selling putin some carriers. If he wants to scare the living hell out of putin, let him wake up in bed with the horse from the god father. He did something over there. We had a very hard time getting from los angeles to hawaii. We took separate flights on American Airlines and each flight was delayed by three hours. Why . Because they didnt have any flight crews. Now, miller flies all the time. So overall, youre all over the country. I mean, overall, what do you think has happened with the Airline Industry . Listen, ive had flights that were so had halfway through it, the pilot could have came on and said, were going down and i would have said go, because this flight is crap. Surely you cant be serious. I am serious, and dont call me shirley. When youre going to hawaii like we did, i flew over in the Chitty Chitty bang bang car. I went to recline my seat and i felt like i was in an amish gynecology office. I got behind this moron guy, hes trying to jam his carry on in, but you put up with it. Its crap from the getgo. I get stuck in the metal detecting line because of a metal piercing kid, setting off every harm in north america. Then they do a cavity search on me. Moon river thank you, doc. Ever serve time . Piggy back mammo grams on those xray machines. But the last guy the Airlines Want to piss off in addition to the pilot from the enola gay is you. It was the same excuse. We dont have any crews. The flight was scheduled eight months in advance. You think somebody might have figured out youve got to have some crews on the plane. Then you show up five days later and they still dont have any crews. My pilate was karen black from the flip. Listen, the people on the plane are nice. They were fine. The fact is, airlines are crap, all right . And im trying to pass something called a piece of legislation called abba. Airline bullying billy act. Did you see the waters world in denver with the pot festival over the weekend . What do you do for a job . I dont do anything. What are you doing right now . Aim going to smoke this gas mask. I cant breathe in this thing i mean, that was pretty sick. S ive got some jokes about it. Go. Look at jesse in the first place with the pink collar. What is he like a gay dracula coming down on these people this i am dracula. What the hell is going on there . I guess this is this guy and his kid. I dont tell people what to do with their kids. I think that theres a way for kids to make hay off all these people getting stoned. Its going to be the rebirth of our economy. As we did not see world war ii reinvigorating our economy after fdr and the ten years before that, the war machine got it going. Kids, you have to remember half the people out there on the Playing Field is stoned, like that kid. Theyre laughing at anything for 20 minimuutes at a time. Theyre going to eventually be working for you and say hey, for 20, ill wash your car. For 20, ill shovel your front driveway. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir in no. Thats what 420 means. Take them down. Theyre exhibiting a limp on the sarengetty plain. This is going to reboot the economy. Half the Playing Field is giggling. When we come back, Bernie Goldberg on the internet madness consuming america. Bernie is next. Patented Sonic Technology with up to 27 more brush movements. Get healthier gums in two weeks. Innovation and you Philips Sonicare save when you give Philips Sonicare this holiday season. Intercourse thats painfulit. Due to menopausal changes its not likely to go away. On its own. So lets do something about it. Premarin vaginal cream can help it provides estrogens to help rebuild vaginal tissue and make intercourse more comfortable. Premarin vaginal cream treats vaginal changes due to menopause and moderatetosevere painful intercourse caused by these changes. Dont use it if youve had unusual bleeding, breast or uterine cancer, blood clots, liver problems, stroke or heart attack, are allergic to any of its ingredients or think youre pregnant. Side effects may include headache, pelvic pain, breast pain, vaginal bleeding and vaginitis. Estrogens may increase your chances of getting cancer of the uterus, strokes, blood clots or dementia so use it for the shortest time based on goals and risks. Estrogen should not be used to prevent heart disease, heart attack, stroke or dementia. Ask your doctor about premarin vaginal cream. Thanks for staying with us. Inter thanks for staying with us. Im bill oreilly. Tonight, internet madness. According to the National Center for missing and exploited children, 75 of american teenagers now have cell phones. On average, teens send and receive a whopping 1500 Text Messages a month. 1 in 3 have experienced bullying or negative confrontation on the net. 97 of teens play games on the internet. 27 play games with people they dont know. 15 of American Teens say theyve received sexually suggestive pictures of someone they know. Joining us now from north carolina, bern lets get to the big picture. How do you think all the data is going to affect these children as they go into adulthood . Look, i do think theres a danger that we may be raising a generation of kids who dont know the meaning or the importance of privacy, for instance. Because its easy using, as you put it, these machines. Its easy to share things that should be private. First with your friends and before you know it, its in the hands of strangers. And i agree you, too, that we may be raising a generation of kids who know how to tweet and text, but dont even know how to hold a conversation. So im with you that far. But i dont think the problem, bill, is technology. I think the problem very often, not always, but very often, is lazy parenting. Theres a very good article on the huffington boast by a writer named deborah fein. He says kids learn by example, okay . They see what their parents do. As much as you talk to them, its much more important what you do. So if you smoke, dont be shocked if your kids smoke. If you use drugs on the weekend, dont be surprised if your kid in high school or Junior High School starts smoking marijuana. Its no different with smartphones. When youre with your kids, be with your kids. Dont put the smartphone down. Put it away. Another rule is, if youre going to set rules, everybody plays by the rules, including the parents. No smartphones at the dinner table. That goes for you, too, the parents. Dont say ive got a business text coming, too bad. Put it away. The most important one, a lot of parents, bill, they dont know the meeting of privacy either. So they have little johnny, who is three years old, and he puts on his sisters ballerina outfit, and the parents say oh, how cute that is, and they have to share it with a million strangers on youtube. You know what . When little johnny and his sister little nicole are 12 and 13 and 14, theyre going to be sharing stuff too that they shouldnt be sharing. Privacy is privacy. Theres a bigger issue here. That is the deterioration of how people interact. Thats the major problem. For example, people used to read books. They dont read books anymore. You know why . Because its more fun to be on the internet than to put the internet down than to pick up look and learn something. Newspapers, so long. Visual media, okay, it used to be a unifier. Everybody watched the Mary Tyler Moore show. Forget it now. You have a zombie eating somebody over here, a vampire over there and somebody dancing over here. And theres youre absolutely right. No unification in the country. The country is fracturing. Youre absolutely right. I agree with every word you say. Collision course with chaos. Go. But you could either throw in the towel and say, we cant do anything about it. Or you can take the steps that this woman suggests as at least a start. And even the examples you gave about not reading books and all that, i totally agree. If you ore a parent, you say, read a book. I dont want to know what your friends do. I dont want to know that this is peer pressure. But it would help if the parents also read a book so they can see their parents reading a book. Just getting these people outside, you almost have to lasso and pull them out and say look at the trees. I dont believe i heard you come up with any solution. My solution is im saying parenting is at least a first step. My solution is to go back to the 18th century and the pony express. Thats how we get our information. When we come back, it will be miller time. Hillary clintons money. If i cant jump into my gases guzzling bmw and drive down my driveway and go down to the local restaurant for a steak, what in gods name is the sake of having a planet any way . Miller is next. Thlook what i got. P. Oh my froot loops [sniffs] lets do this . Get up get up get up get up loop me bring back the awesome. Yeah yeah yeah with the great taste of Kelloggs Froot loops. Follow your nose get to the terminal across town. Are all the green lights you . No. Its called grid iq. The 4 51 is leaving at 4 51. They cut the power. Itll fix itself. Powers back on. Quick thinking traffic lights and self correcting power grids make the world predictable. Thrillingly predictable. Stay with us from bill oreilly in the miller time segment tonight. Get to the sage of Southern California who joins us from santa1w barbar le lets get right to the sage of Southern California, he joins us from santa barbara. You heard about Hillary Clinton explaining she and her husband were broke. When they left the white house, they had to work hard to buy their houses. We came out of the white house not only dead broke but in debt. We had no money when we got there, and we struggled to piece together the resources for mortgages for houses, for chelseas education. It was not easy. You say . It was a simple mistake. Hillary mistook it happens. But at this point, Hillary Clinton wouldnt know broke or the truth if it walked up to her on the street and were legally donated to her campaign. I havent believed her since she told me she was named after edmund hillary. Theyre constantly in bs mode. Bs has become their real. They spend eight seconds in the real world and they get into the political bubble where they was eight morons surrounding them every day telling them theyre gods gift. They dont have a clue anymore. The only thing about hillary is, shes always cranky to the secret service. Shes pod because she knows that we know shes been cheated on more frequently than a blind woman playing basketball with gypsies. No, i have a lot of reading to catch up on. All that being said, the biggest loser in loserville should probably be the president , so no doubt shes got that coming down the pike. You dont resent her money, though. You and i have done very well working harrold. I believe mrs. Clinton works hard, and so does her husband. They run around and do a lot of stuff and are rewarded for it. Billy, you know, her wallets full and shes more full of it. leapts put it that way. These people like warren, they always talk about the 1 have to be brought down. Theyre the pinnacle of the 1 . You know, the university of california spends a lot of tax money and one of the things they did is they came up with a Global Warming villain. That is your lawn, miller. Your lawn, okay . Millers la motoriemoting emissions that isg the world hotter. And you ought for ashame, miller. Heres my feeling on Global Warming. If i cant jump into my gas guzzling bmw and drive down my huge driveway and go down to the local restaurant for a steak, then i create a little greenhouse as i digest the steak, what in gods name is the sake of having a planet any way if we didnt do that . So the earth better buck up and wear a cup. F being the beginning of my sixth season, i will be assisting me in my oath. Repeat after me. I, Dennis Miller do solemnly wear to milk the mock my metal thing if i see any Career Advancement in it. Keep an eye on the figures in the world of entertainment in the event they start to take themselves seriously. The. Thats the news and we are out of here. Good clip, miller. Now, as you know, we ask good clip, miller. Send in questions that you will allegedly answer. Try were not real hopeful in that rc the first question is from clyde mckenny. Miller, when you were on snl, which performers impressed you the most . c hosts c well, clyde, hosts, tom han i wasc the besthost. Al baldwin was a good host, care though i didnt know him well. F get thec [ bleep ] out of i. Here. Ho and sean penic was propertil the most polite host. cfricetal eet guy. I knewc it. Bil as far as castc members go, would say bill hadder isc a genius. Danny ackroydtkp right. On the silver, eddie murphy. c [ laughter ] andc the greatest performer isf guy you just saw me with, dana carvey. Forr sixc years. Never did not kill. He was a beast. 362n very isnt that special. Hes stalm very funny. And i love him like a bea brother. Just to watch that guy ups t e to resign because he supportedc traditional marriage. Bernie moments away. Ey wors fast and are proven to taste better than tums smoothies assorted fruit. Mmm. Amazing. Yeah, i get that a lot. Alka seltzer heartburn reliefchews. Enjoy the relief. Bells dont miss all the amazing deals at Bass Pro Shops 5 day sale. Like bass pro hoodies for only 10. Save 33 on ascend mens and ladies fleece pullovers. And save 100 on this ascend fishing kayak. So you can see like right here i can just. You know, check my policy here, add a car, ah speak to customer service, check on a claim. You know, all with the ah, tap of my geico app. Oh, thats so cool. Well, i would disagree with you but, ah, that would make me a liar. No dude, youre on the jumbotron whoa. Ah. Yeah, pretty much walked into that one. Geico anywhere anytime. Just a tap away on the geico app. Weekdays with bernie segment thanks for staying with us. Tonight, thec ceo of cmizilla been forced too resign because e hiraa iqit y traditional marr 2008. Media buzz on fox news dealtc a holocaust denier as the ceoc of a compan . We are talking about whether there is unfettered free speech for corporate ceos. Of course there is. If you think a holocaust denier shouldnt be the ceo can you equate gay rights with the holocaust . That isc outrageous. It is d outrageous, and yo said under no circumstances should a ceo not get a job because of his political position. We all agree under some circumstances he should nnot. Of course the guy was comparing the holocaust to gay rights. Joining us now from miami, Bernie Goldberg. And youqsay . I say, bill, that if you lose your job because you have an incorrec4ba q 9zez samesex marriage, thats a pretty good example of liberal intolerance. ÷ orthodoxy on certain issues like samesex marriage,c youre expected to march lock step and if you dont you will be purged. You may man did, butc youll certainlye called a cbigot. Whats interested, the liberals that work at this company and other places like this, they worshipc at the alter of diversity,c skin color, ethnic diversity, sexual orientation. But theres one diversity they wantc tolerate, diversity of opinion on matters importanpc t them. Thats why thosec liberals hav forgotten to be liberal. Bill, for thec record, i suppo samesex marriage. I have no problem with it. Ic think its a good thing and think people on the other side are on thewrong side ofq9nn history. But im not an ayatollah. Unlessc somebodyk . Is an out out bigotc who hates gay peopl let them have their say. c thats what some liberals dont quite understand. Quite understand. c now, thissczu company, the driving people to certain websites andc machinery, its. Consumer oriented thing, right . Thats how they make their money . They make a web browser if you want to get on the internet, there are a number of ways to do it. Firefox is one of the more popular ways to do it. So they make their money by services, correct in rn sofa ÷ in a democracy, if yoe something wrong, then you want to send a message that you would like that to be corrected, so you dont fire your ceo, were not going to use your services. Thats why he got fired. But what about the traditional people going, you fired the guy and you were wrong for doing it, so were not going to use your services. Doesnt that have to happen to just to set the record straight, he didnt get fired. Oh, come on. Kan4jt hahp hc bigbuck job like that . Let me finish. Technically he didnt get fired. There was an employer revolt and he was forced out. c come on. You want to get it wrong, itsf your show. You know me. Im a simplec man and i dont y thec guys that hold the power this guys opinion. Hes out. Goodbye. Okay, fine. c youre right, im wrong. Thats fine. R bwhc there are slivers of sunshinec here. It isnt just conservatives or people like you orc me who are saying, this is not cright. Andrew l dbsullivan, the intellectualc father of sames 1989, he wrotec the same piece advocating samesex marriage. He says, this is p]ndisgusting hes gay. Tammy bruce, our friend tammy bruce who does a radioc show, shes also openly gay. They want to force somebody out because of his views . Ones who are open gd÷minded, w are tolerant, they tell us that all the time. o3vzk but on certainc issues, theyr intolerant and theyre close minded. They are as bad as the hard right is that theyre always criticizing. Thats thec irony of this whol thing. Well,x;h ky dont care, numbr one. Number two, i do believe that most gay americans think this is horrible. I bet icn if you did a poll, 75 would say, we dont want that. Thats what i think. When we come back, its miller time. Wild one this evening. Lets take it over to zeke for a second. Hes a salesman and because i make the best chicken noodle soup. Because i make the best chicken noodle soup. Because i make the best chicken noodle soup. 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Im a nonsmoker, that feels amazing. Ask your doctor if chantix is right for you. Bill thanks for staying with us. Tonight, lets get right to the sage of Southern California who joins us now from santa barbara. The hair is looking good tonight, miller. I dont know what happened there. Looking good. No, no, its looking good. Its a little disheveled. But thats the way it is these rn i feel like farrah. Is these come on. Im very interested in hearing your advice to chris christie. By way of a swiftyian proposal, i would encourage him to be counterintuitive. If you weigh 350 pounds, why not throw your weight around . If i wasc him, i would say listen, if you dont shut up about this, im going to part mu ass in lane one and two of the gwb again and youll never see ft. Lee, all right . I would wear an origin traffic cone on my head like i was the lead singer for divo. But theyrec never going to ge off his back onc this, so he might have as well play new hampshire. Theres ac congresswoman up the uster, and ann had a littlecpaqjx5n get your last s jokes ready. c so ann custer has a town hall meeting and heres what happened. Can you address benghazi . Whatpv cs are you going to do a why isnt benghazi at the top of your issue . c well, im certainly not here to talk about it. Were herec to talk about the middle east. That is the middle east. Benghazi is like in the middle of the middle east. c billy, she looksmsnbc as ss mo howard after shemp hit him in the head with a hammer. Does anybody elsec notice that our stupidest people no longer have a dunce cap on in a room. In any given room, the stupidest person now has a gavel. Is. She]8 ks its one bepn of the te actors in the filo,n three husbands. This womanap is so stupid she couldnt make it into jeff dunhams act. Look at that sb. nfi glazed loo eyes. [c whoqihc better to i dress a tow she makes patty murray look like marie curry. c is that all . Sorry. You cant workc crazy horsen the or anything same stuff i used to tell a shrink, now you pay me. She put out a receodeth ideo t the muslims dont like. Roll it. Nq6z baby do you darehto do this because imc coming at you le a dark horse ready for a perfect storm, a perfect apparently that shotc with y guy melting was some muslim do you know what this is snablt cshocking, because muslim people usuallyhn n arent uptigt about stuff. Let me Say Something to the muslim world. c i mean this in all seriousness. I dont know anything about it. I dont know anything about ac lot of things. I was raised catholic and i hardly know about that. N so cranky, cits the killing peop who you dont agree with thing. If they say theyre going to ban katy perrys video, i go, maybe theres some progress being made or maybe thats how a statement how big katy perry isn take it easy. Its a video. Bnn s goochunio statement. The president never said you were going to have unlimited choice of any doctor. He said the you like your doctor you can keep your doctor. Did he not say that . Yes. But doctor, you can do that. Whatc do you say about this . He headed the agency where i was for a while. I like aaey smart, but if he had developed a script rollout and manuel showed up with thec script, ari would whack him. Hes not going to say that because itsc his brother. Lets take itycwuju to zeke fora second. He somehow isc a salesman,c manages ,mcx . Jau s ie lowman look like ron cpopile. You could ride a log loom at disnei that spittle. I know where they put thec keystone pipeline. B right back here inc nk jaw. Suffering succotash. The simple fact is, when youre the architect for ac house of cards, you go down in the r0r8ds with the architect who built the tacoma bridge. c i requested some footage. The great walter lancec f9 pr this when i first watched woody woodpecker when i was a kid. Thats obamacare right there. If it was ac bridge. And im going to continue to call it obamacare, although they call it the Affordable Health care act. Ill change calling it obamacare when the president changes his name to barack affordable. All ibnc asking is this, where ÷ the disappointment . Fz why do you scold us . The website is a siv. I eliminated the middleman and just signed my power of attorney over to julian assange. The make ezekiel has a lot of religious connotations. Phn] theres three major prophets m the old testament. Theres isaiah, jeremiah, and now theres ezekiel as in emanuel who ruinedikhvn obamacac did youkch y memorize all th . That was really good. Im going a watch the reruns just toc see it. When we come j qnc÷back, ber Condoleezza Rice not speaking ac rutgers and why so few journalists are republican. Bernie is next. c will that be all, sir . Thank you. Ordering chinese food is a very predictable experience. I order b14. I get b14. No surprises. Buying business internet, on the other hand, can be a roller coaster White Knuckle thrill ride. Youre promised one speed. But do you consistently get it . You do with comcast business. And often even more. Its reliable. Just like kung pao fish. Thank you, ping. Reliably fast internet starts at 89. 95 a month. Comcast business. Built for business. Bill oreilly weeke two hot topics, beginning with a newbu g survey conducted by in university which says there are four times as Many Democrats than republicans in the media. Republican journalists,tn 7 . Democrats, 28 . Independents 50 . Miq7tzx joining us, mr. Bernard gp[rerg. Va what say you . I say the poll is ridiculous. Lets start with that. The 7 who identify as republicans, ill pie that. Butc 50 say theyre independents. Impossible. A few years ago, i predicted that precisely this would happen because they know the american people think theyre liberal, which they are. Theyc know the American People think they root for democrats, and theyc do. No, no, were independent. This is a conservativec delusi. I bet if you injectedpvc these admit they voted for barack obama twice. And i thinkc thats the pol somebody did. I dont know how accurate you overwhelming votec for barack ÷ overwhelming votec for barack ÷ i think the reason behind thec liberalism in reporting is because the people who hire are we discussed it before. Ifc youk0n walk into the qzzn a abortion, youre ostracized. It is long past time toc adt one of my many,iv n many brill ideas and that is affirmative action for republican. Smallest minority in the american newsroom. Thats right. Youc just told me this y buy that. A lot more than 7 of the;3nx American People vote for the republican candidate, right . Sure. We need them in College Professors hiring too. Absolutely right on that one. Talking about kc colleges, Condoleezza Rice was invited by Rutgers University to give a commencement speech, but a pinhead alert was sounded. Dhfuq she played ac prominent rol in thec bush administrations l tob;bb mislead the American People about ciraqs2qut weapo mass destruction. That does it for me. A Commencement Speaker is honoring the speaker andc offering a role model to students, and i think ux could pick better choices than to picc condi rice. Those pinheads, they dont knoe what theyre doing because under that yardstick you couldntc have anybody in the they use drones, right . H8 zexactly. They couldntchp÷ have anybod. Barack obama won the noble prize and he has killed more people withc drones than any person i the history of the planet earth. Im not against that for the most cpart, but as you say, usg that standard, you couldnt havc him. Was a senator, going to war with iraq. By the cway, my alma mater, th snooki to speak0v on campus. Snooki is okay and Condoleezza Rice is not < hutokay. Something way out of whack i believe in her teens snooki did take part in some water boarding in new jersey. I think that happened. R unfortunately the water boarding didnt take. Right. More from the d man coming up. This whole country is about to turn into bill and teds excellent adventure. [ihbx patented Sonic Technology with up to 27 more brush movements. Get healthier gums in two weeks. Innovation and you Philips Sonicare save when you give Philips Sonicare this holiday season. Intercourse thats painfulit. Due to menopausal changes its not likely to go away. On its own. So lets do something about it. Premarin vaginal cream can help it provides estrogens to help rebuild vaginal tissue and make intercourse more comfortable. Premarin vaginal cream treats vaginal changes due to menopause and moderatetosevere painful intercourse caused by these changes. Dont use it if youve had unusual bleeding, breast or uterine cancer, blood clots, liver problems, stroke or heart attack, are allergic to any of its ingredients or think youre pregnant. Side effects may include headache, pelvic pain, breast pain, vaginal bleeding and vaginitis. Estrogens may increase your chances of getting cancer of the uterus, strokes, blood clots or dementia so use it for the shortest time based on goals and risks. Estrogen should not be used to prevent heart disease, heart attack, stroke or dementia. Ask your doctor about premarin vaginal cream. Th thanks for staying with us. The d man had a little extra flair. It is a best of miller block you dont want to miss. Were worried aboupc the kid w re worried aboupc the kid that this is okayc something called the gang, the smoke is out of the when you take 112 weeks ofj5 g unemployment and you mix in health care from your parentsyj until youre 26, youave 15 Million People on food stamps to buy munchies. This whole country isc about t turn into bill and teds us all about that is jayc carn, who has a different clook. On it. Hes been acfing as a beard for the president for years. c this guy blows moremj . smokea andc we are we are worki nz roll back dontc ask, dont te. President showed annoyance vw this guy did that. They guy needed his 15 minutes. Dont you think itc should up to the joint chiefs of staff . This is whats good for the military. Some of the military guys are soldiers. Im enamorred of any young person who wants to go over and kill bad guys for me and my family. That blows me away. Some kids would say this weirds me. I think the vast majority would say it is not a big ticket item for me. If youre gay, youre gay, billy. It is my Dennis Millers theory of;i3 homosexuality. 1adz ifc youre watching the boyxz thedyl cdolphin,x3p5n sofia l xj9,erc dripping off her torsoc you still want to make it with the captain of the boat, youre gay. You cant fight that. Congress. Thanks for watching us tonight. Im bill gseilly. Remember that the spin stops here. Were definitely loo g out for a kelly file special. c who is teaching our kids . Im megyn kelly. Millions of students arec v g toward College Degrees and some 50 million kids are beingc educated in public elementary, middle, and high schools. Your tax dollars. While ac majority of those schl kids and College Students are being educated bykfo caring professionals, we have seen a troubling number of reports in rec3ac years about disturbing lessons6j ÷ playing out in classrooms and campuses across