Transcripts For FOXNEWSW The Five 20191022

Bret baier is here author of a new book three days at the brink. Now you have all this time to talk about your book. Im just kidding. Greg is that just a coincidence that you just happened to be here. Bret i just happened to be here. Hi, greg. Greg hello, bret. How are you . You are my newman. Bret viewers like a different toss. They are not sure about the seinfeld thing. Greg you think the toss isnt working . Dana i think its really funny. Greg when are you going to have me and jesse on the allstar panel. Bret come on down. Jesse im waiting for the phone call. Greg if not we are going to start our own nonbret baier hall of fame panel it. Will be bret baier free. Me, jesse, kat timpf and tyrus. Bret it will be better than the bret baier that you had on set. Graduate. Greg thats true. Dana that was a cute bear. You are a cute baier, too. Jesse whoa. Bret is this how it works. Dana call hr. Greg you just objectified a fair and balanced journalist. Dana what were we going to talk about . Bret democrats. Dana do you hear this amongst democrats. Bret i do. Dana are they thinking holy smokes we dont have anybody here that can beat trump . Bret there is a lot of anxiety. A ton of anxiety. Michael bloombergs name like real thought provoking democrats say going Elizabeth Warren is the nominee, donald trump is the nominee, that may be a Mike Bloomberg gets. In the problem is you have to get on balance within the next couple of weeks, actually, in a lot of these states. The logistics just dont work. Jesse yeah. Well i know why donors are worried. If you look at trumps base, it hasnt cracked. The economy is strong. And none of these people on the democrat side had v. Any knockout power. None of them has tapped into any movement the way trump did. None of them has a acullive personality like barack obama none of running on a w. Or a National Machine like hillary. If you look at the top guy, he is the two socialists cant get a crowd outside of new york city. And the rnc carpet bombing the democrats on facebook. So then you hear, you know, if bloomberg wants to light half a billion dollars on fire, i just think thats landslide city. I dont think he is the name. Juan you guys are typically very cynical, skeptical of anything in the New York Times. The idea that the New York Times says oh, boy, people are so nervous theyre running to get john kerry, i dont hear anybody. Dana john kerry. Juan how about mitchell mice obama. What about oprah. Maybe hillary is not the ticket. Go back, bill clinton. Oh yeah, lets get somebody else. Remember that was bill clinton that you think was so great. People were saying lets get somebody else. This happens every time. Dagen big old democrat my dad would say with a lot of money liberal spin coming out of new york. He doesnt buy it. I will tell you why. Because Mike Bloomberg would have to degrump before he would ever run for president. He has to do a 30 day jerk cleanse. And then Michelle Obama look at the photos of her. Shooting eye to eye at everybody not just donald trump and Hillary Clinton. She couldnt wait to get away from those people. She is selling out arenas, has the best selling memoir. She is not going anywhere near them. Greg hillary is like that person outside your condo waiting for you to get buzzed in so they can come right in behind. [laughter] greg she is going to get right inside the building. Dana that is not allowed. Greg you dont know the polite well way to tell people. What are you saying im a thief . Maybe you are a thief, we dont know. Her problem is if she enters, and she still not number one, that is humiliating. She has got to be number one or its nothing. But if she enters and liz is still in front of her, thats pretty sad. Bret dont you think the Hillary Clinton thing. Juan bill well 16 percentage trump right now. We should flip flop this and say huh, if trump isnt the nominee, who might the republicans nominate . Dana the rnc is not wasting any time. They put out a new ad, not talking about personalities but talking about real big issues, including socialism. Take a look. This socialist promoters, they should go there and see the reality of whats going on. This is how venezuelans spend most of their time now in line not for luxuries but basics. They focus on how to maintain the power. And if we have to maintain the power, we have to control everybody. Dana effective ad . Greg very much. So we talk about this all the time that there is a disconnect between the modern millennial political activist and whats going on around the world. Being a socialist in the freest, greatest capitalist economy of all time, thats like being a snake in the garden of eden. Thought i would put a little biblical issue. Have you read the bible lately. Dana every day. Greg thank god. Dana indeed. Indeed. Bret, you are a student and an author of history. And the president said this back at the state of the union in january of last year. He said this we will never be a socialist country. And he is trying to lay it out so heres the choice that you have in front of you. Bret i think its an effective ad. Not only that but the Trump Campaign has a ton of money. Dana so much money. Bret they will be spending money left and right. Try to turn a place like minnesota that they really think they have a chance at. This ad is effective especially when you have a couple of candidates who are leading who have some progressive ideas that verge on democratic socialism. Dana they call themselves socialists. Jesse i thought the most effective part of the ad were the lines. If you live in a socialist country you are in line for healthcare and food and pretty much anything. Greg you are in line for lines. Jesse showed all the chaos on the street that causes bad traffic. If you run on socialism creates long lines and bad traffic. I think thats a home run. Juan really . Ever drive in new york . Long line. Jesse thanks, de blasio. Juan thats it. I forgot. New york is not a capitalist country. Jesse call one person and i get all the food i need to the house. Juan in the middle of new york socialism. Jesse seemless is not socialism. Juan heres the problem with the ad. The ad is effective for people who want to buy it. The relates is Bernie Sanders Elizabeth Warren are not socialists. Bernie sanders calls himself a democratic socialist. But not a socialist. Greg slicing it too thin. Juan control of means of production. Dana Elizabeth Warren says she a capitalist. Dagen which is a big lie. Juan young people we need to do better with healthcare. Most americans agree. Greg im not looking at young people. Juan helping young people pay for their college tuition. Most americans agree. We need to tax the rich more so that they pay their fair share. Dana thats what they say about all of this. Dagen most people dont want their private insurance taken away from them, period. 70 of people who get employer sponsored insurance like it. Satisfied with it. I have on my phone a photo i took this morning of a line outside of the post office because it was 9 35 and they wouldnt open the door. That is what thats all you have to remember. Dana jesse with the most excellent point. Talk about your book for a moment. Written by bret baier three days at the brink daring gamble to win world war ii. Great book about history right before world war ii. Bret we could have lost the war. Fdr, churchill and stalin get together at secret meeting in tehran, largely overlooked in history. They planned dday and had that meeting not happened, had it all not come together, we could be speaking german on the five. Jesse because dana is doing her show when limbaugh comes on, i would like to just ask you to tell her the story that you told on rush limbaughs show about how they got to tehran and how crazy that was. Bret it was. So fdr gets on the uss iowa the newest battle ship in the u. S. Navy and they head over in u boat infested waters and they have a Training Exercise and a torpedo goes off and aims towards the uss iowa. They barely miss and they it explodes about 1,000 feet away. Jesse wow. Bret fdr is on the bridge clapping because he thinks its part of the exercise. They almost took down the 32nd president. Juan you know what interested me is the relationship between fdr and someone as history views as such an impressive force as stalin. Because you have in the book the relationship fdr is basically embracing him. Bret he is bending over backwards to try to get stalin sign on and churchill is warning about it. They obviously win the war, but they lost the peace. Because, after fdr dies, stalin is emboldened and thats the start of the cold war. Greg bret, two quick things i want to point out. Im not in the index and im not in the acknowledgments. Bret thats true. I want to thank you publicly for all the help that you gave me on this book. Greg that will do. I think i am an inspiration on this book. Dana readers guide. Greg perfect. Dana that was an important thing for you to have something for younger people. Bret it is. Dana you frayed they are not learning their history. Bret civics is lost. Young reareds edition 9 to 14. My sons 12 and 9 are reading it or they should be. [laughter] dana they dual an oral book report. Greg where are you going . Bret im going to chicago tomorrow and then atlanta and naples and then california. Im going to do the show every day. So i will hear the toss from you. Dana are you going to new castle, wyoming . Bret im not. Should i . Dana yeah. Thats where my family lives. Greg are you doing any shows that are going to be troubling . Bret vegas shows . Dana he did cbs this morning. Greg doing the view. Bret no. Greg going to do rogan . Bret no. Greg who are your p. R. People. Bret doing this show. Juan you were on limbaugh. What was that like . Bret it was great. He was generous. Rare event. Historical conversation. Juan believe me, thats pretty good. Greg good moderate liberal that limbaugh. Dana bret, thank you. Bret thanks for having me on. Dana we love talking to you at the end of this show. President trump hits on impeachment maximize political impact. We will have it for you next dont mean that i wont be right by your side when you need me you cant see me in the middle of the night [ tires screech ] what is it with you and that truck . Mornings were made for Better Things than Rheumatoid Arthritis or Psoriatic Arthritis. 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A product of mastery. Lease the 2019 es 350 for 379 month for 36 months. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. What are you doing back there, junior . Since were obviously lost, im rescheduling my Xfinity Customer Service appointment. Ah, relax. I got this. Which gps are you using anyway . A Little Something called instinct. Been using it for years. Yeah, thats what im afraid of. He knows exactly where were going. My whole body is a compass. Oh boy. The my account app makes todays Xfinity Customer Service simple, easy, awesome. Not my thing. Rainy day dream away let the sun. Juan President Trump igniting a firestorm calling the impeachment inquiry a quote lynching. Democrats, even some republicans furious and they say that the president has crossed the line. The white house is pushing back against the criticism. All of this comes as trump ramps up his attacks on both parties. These are dishonest people. But when they say the impeachment now begins, sean, this was the day of the inauguration. I think the republicans should get tougher. Look. I think that the democrats are not good politicians. I think they have lousy policy. I think its a travesty for our country. They are doing such a bad thing for our country. Thats because the democrats are vicious and they stick together. Juan new report says democrats are slowing the impeachment timeline. They want to sharpen their public case. Its now possible the inquiry could extend into the Christmas Season jesse, let me give you a choice here. Trump knows what he is doing and he is distracting people by using a powerful racially charged word like lynching or, too two he doesnt know the history, doesnt know that thousands of people were lynched in this country and, you know, principally black men used to control women intimidate them. Jesse i dont know. I know its a racially charged word. Very painful to a lot of people in this country. Not a word that i would have used. Just too loaded. But i know what he is saying, everybody gets the analogy about impeachment that they are doing this like a mob action in the middle of the night without due process rights. Everyone has reported it. The democrats are admitted it. The witnesses cant be seen by republicans. You cant see evidence. Cant see transcripts. All done in the dark. It just bothers me that yesterday on the show we talk about a democrat comparing trump to the nazis. Calling them hitler. Democrats all last year said we are running con concentration camps at the border. I think Kamala Harris said Jussie Smollett was the victim of a modern day lynching. Hillary clinton said the trump rallies remind her of lynchings. Cuomo, just said last week on a radio show, the n word. Not to mention bill maher said the n word last year. I do believe it was barack obama who just endorsed someone in black face in canada. But the point is for democrats to get on their high horse today and lecture other people about racially charged rhetoric or historically insensitive language is so preposterous. They need to look themselves in the mirror and just ask themselves am i total hypocrite . Because i dont care when my side uses this language or when i myself use this language. I only try to weaponize this language to hurt the opposing party. And thats all thats going on here. Juan all right, so, dagen, part of what jesse was saying, which was a powerful argument, lynching is not a constitutional process but, impeachment is a constitutional process by which, you know, the Congress Holds a powerful executive to account for any kind of wrongdoing. So, why the analogy . He uses Strong Language and, again, its a distraction. Juan i understand that. Dagen yeah, its offensive. It bothers me. I grew up in the rural south. I heard firsthand accounts of lynchings. Nevertheless, he traffics in outrageousness. And people are taking the bait. Number one. Number two, what people are outraged by is the most formidable constitutional powerful of declaring war is impeachment process. And they are trampling on the democrats are, democratic norms and the institutions of this country and will come to bite them in the you know what. Juan all right. So, you know, dana, today there was something to be for the president to distract people from, which was bill taylor, the u. S. Ambassador went before the house and according to the news reports, because we havent seen exactly what he had to say, he said that there was evidence of a quid pro quo. Dana right. So i think that the democrats keep having every day they have a new witness. And then they leak out little bits of the testimony and you have members of congress in there, mostly democrats that come out and they say whoa, i have never seen anything like it. Its unbelievable. And then they leak out these little pieces of information. Thats why the president s process point is one that i think is pretty effective. Democrats saying that they want to that they might carry this on. I think it does two things for democrats. It distracts their base into thinking that they are being tough on the president. And it also prevents their base from realizing oh my god, having the house is not enough. You dont have enough power to actually do anything if you only have the house. So, those are two things that work in favor of the democrats to keep this process going. But they do run a risk that people will just get tired of it. They are not they are not able to pay attention. And the selective leaking out every day of little bits of testimony maybe it was explosive but how would we ever know if they do it all behind closed doors . Greg greg, i wanted to ask you about something that jesse said. Jesse was making the case hypocrisy on the part of some of these democrats because, you know, sometimes they used words like lynching, right . Greg yeah. Juan a lot of people see trump as having a racially unsettling past. What do you think . Greg yeah, i mean, you left out Jerry Jerry Nadler actually used the same terminology when he was discussing bill clinton referring to that oh, thank you for having that up there like. And the effort to impeach clinton he compared it to a lynch mob. Everybody kind of does this. Analogies are never perfect. But, you know what the thing is, heres the thing. You know, can you read Donald Trumps mind that he meant to offend blacks . Do you actually think that thats what he is doing . Do you think this was an intentional ploy to bring up we could ask instead of relying on the media to mind read him, why dont ask you him. I will tell you this right now. Trump is a terrible racist. Because you have record unemployment for blacks, hispanics, and women. He signs a bill to upgrade Martin Luther kings birthplace for a national park. He signs criminal Justice Reform that 3,000 people, many of them minorities so they can return to their families. Signed executive order to make historical black colleges and universities a financial priority. And then the Republican Senate passed antilynching legislation after 200 attempts. Is he one of the worst racists ever. Juan what an argument. Greg thank you. Juan next up, the New York Times blasted after praising Hillary Clintons attacks on Tulsi Gabbard. Dont go anywhere. We are going to talk about it next on the five raspberry beret that means the dollar is only worth about 68¢ now compared to 2000. Had you owned gold, your value would have increased over 400 and owning gold is easy. With Rosland Capital a trusted leader in helping people acquire precious metals. Gold bullion, lady liberty gold and silver proofs, and our premium coins, can help you preserve your wealth. 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And if you have the wrong Home Insurance coverage, you could be coughing up the cash for this. So get allstate and be better protected from mayhem, like meow. Freedom freedom jesse Hillary Clinton bitter as ever. She refuses to give up the spotlight and cant get over her loss to trump. The failed candidate is now being brutally mocked for claiming 2020 democrat Tulsi Gabbard is a russian asset. But, of course, the New York Times is defending her. Touting clinton as, quote master troll. Welcome to hillary unplugged for most of her public career mrs. Clinton has been constrained by the expectations of her position be it first lady, senator, or secretary of state. Now, after her stunning loss in 2016, it seems she finally feels liberated to speak her mind. Greg, have you noticed liberated crooked . Greg yes. I believe she is trolling. Trolling is now officially an old persons word. If the New York Times is using it, its like your granddad putting on his baseball cap on backwards on his way to a black crows reunion. [laughter] greg its like when you are playing cold play and your mom says i like that song and you just throw the album away. [laughter] greg that is dead now to me. I will never call anybody a troll or talk about effective trolling. Thank you, New York Times. Jesse what do you think about this puff piece . They seem to be enamored by hillary. Dana the New York Times think they did her wrong. She thinks they gave the email thing too much attention, et cetera. Juan she thinks . How about all of us think . Dana this week you hads youd the last two president ial runners up for the wrong reengeg. You had Bernie Sanders today saying like dont say that about Tulsi Gabbard. We dont need to have any of that here. Tulsi gabbard gets all of this additional attention and mitt romney. Jesse you mean whats his name . Dana pierre. Two people spent their entire careers as the viable president ial candidate. Criticized for too canned and too scripted. Now you are seeing the other side of that. Jesse do you like this new hillary, juan . Tweeting, saying sassy things . Juan unplugged. To get back to gregs analogy. This is her. To pick up on what dana was saying, when i look at people who lost the president ial races at mitt romney, john mccain, john mccain was back in the senate going after barack obama as i recall. Mitt romney ran for senate and won in utah. Now he has something to say about trump, right . Nobody tells these guys to shut up why would you say, hillary, the lady should shut up. Dana everybody tells him to shut up. Greg i do. Juan Tulsi Gabbard, Tulsi Gabbard is not only in terms of the possibility of russia wanting her and encouraging her with all this stuff online, she said that no matter, even if she doesnt win the nomination, she plans to go to the convention and create turmoil and i just think what is are you rooting against the democrats even as you run for the nomination . Juan kind of like ted cruz caused turmoil with trump in cleveland. You loved that though. Juan of course. Jesse what do you think . Dagen my favorite times of that New York Times piece for most of her public career mrs. Clinton has been restrained by expectations of her position. By be it first lady, senator, a secretary of state. Hillary clinton has only been constrained by trying to be somebody she is not. To be likeable, to be understanding, to be empathetic rather than just pathetic. Her latest look is a has been gasping for relevance. This is the equivalent of an almost 72yearold woman taking butt selfies and putting them on instagram. Dana i dont know if anybody has ever done that. Jesse belfiess i think those are called. Dana only now is Hillary Clinton a master troll. Ask monica lewenski. Greg wow. Jesse referencing emails. Someone, i had think it was on cnn. Greg name is jeffrey. Jesse lets listen to jeffrey. This is also a story about the news media, about how much time we spend on that. And thats something that i have felt a great deal of personal responsibility for. I think i paid too much attention to them. And i regret that and this story turns out to be a big nothing. And we spent months on it. Hillary clinton very likely lost the election because of it. And i think i should have been talking about other issues, not about the emails. Greg let me get this straight, jeffrey tuben and his entire life, thats what he regrets . You think there would be other things. [laughter] thats all im saying. Jesse you were thinking about covering russia collusion for two years . Greg regret that too. That was a nothing. Juan wait a second. Heres the fact. The state department, right . This has been investigated. They said zero. And you guys dont even say you know what . Jesse zero what, yuan . Juan that she did nothing wrong there was no scandal, didnt do anything wrong. Jesse didnt do anything wrong. Obama did anything wrong. Hillary did nothing wrong. Nobody does anything wrong. Juan a minute ago you said trump is complaining because this impeachment is terrible. So the process goes forward. Hillary is found to have no no nothing done wrong, and you still wont say it. Jesse comey let her off the hook. Thats how the cookie crumbles. Up next is math racist . Greg takes on this new example of liberal school insanity. Got to watch this monologue next. Thats why theres otezla. Otezla is not a cream. Its a pill that treats plaque psoriasis differently. With otezla, 75 clearer skin is achievable. Dont use if youre allergic to otezla. It may cause severe diarrhea, nausea, or vomiting. Otezla is associated with an increased risk of depression. Tell your doctor if you have a history of depression or suicidal thoughts or if these feelings develop. Some people taking otezla reported weight loss. Your doctor should monitor your weight and may stop treatment. Upper respiratory tract infection and headache may occur. Tell your doctor about your medicines and if youre pregnant or planning to be. Otezla. Show more of you. Come on lets hide in the attic. No. In the basement. Why cant we just get in the running car . Are you crazy . Lets hide behind the chainsaws. Smart. Yeah. Ok. If youre in a horror movie, you make poor decisions. Its what you do. This was a good idea. Shhhh. Im being quiet. Youre breathing on me if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. Its what you do. 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I mean, does 2 plus 2 really equal 4 or does 2 plus 2 equal White Privilege . By the way that plus sign looks like a cross, a violation of the separation between church and state. But who needs hard math anyway to build bridges and roads . Nothing but scars on the beauty of nature. We can just feel our way around a river. Bring galacious. Look at what math has done to my body one math at a time. I relied on engineers who did actual math before reduced to Hard Sciences to Room Temperature silly putty. If i had brats, i would move the hell out of seattle to a place that rewards literacy and timetables. Because if we start thinking that math is secondary to ideologies dictated by useless grad students who cant read or write the world stops working. The wings on your plane may start flapping and the tires on your car may start believing in a flat earth. Engineers and mathematicians keep us moving. Once the workplace becomes the woke place, how will you get to your gender studies class then . By the way, jesse, this is just a proposal i dont know if its going to happen. Im doing my best to stop it as a lone voice in the heroic wilderness. Jesse im confused by the story because im terrible at math. And math is racist. But im also white. So, i dont know if im too dumb to be racist or not racist enough to be good at math. Right . Like am i the victim of my own reverse racism . Or am i too dumb for my own White Privilege . This is like a math problem that i cant solve. Greg have you officially outwiloutwillard. You are now a performance artist. [laughter] greg yuan, there ison, thers nothing less colored blind that i math. Start putting social justice philosophy into math whats going to happen. Juan if we accept the premise that white kids, brown kids all have the same potential intellectually geez, look at the standardized test scores, black and brown kids perform less well. I think you have a situation where thats not good and you have educators who want to try to do a better job of figuring out how do we deal with this and how can we help these kids perform better on this subject . Dana had, i believe it was one more thing the other day, where she had a teacher who was working with kids that she made rap music part of or he made rap music part of it. Thats a way to try to improve what we know is potential thats untapped in terms of minority kids and what they call the stem subjects and science. Greg yeah. Juan okay. I think its a good idea, greg. Greg what do you think, day began, if thats your real name . Dagen how do you level the Playing Field injecting judgment and opinion into mathematics which by its own nature is objective. Not subjective. Juan not there. Dagen whats not there is good teachers and better education. Again, we rank 30 out of 35 developed nations in math matmathematics skills. Its because the teachers dont teach. I went through that i went to Public Schools. One of the worst Public Schools in the state of virginia. My parents spent good money and sent me away to school. And i remember barbara bath my math teacher. Ms. Mcdowell, you are not stupid you are just uneducated. Math is power. Its liberation. It is brilliance. We need more of it. Greg i hated calculus, dana. I was so good in math until i got to the hard stuff and then it was like it made me feel so low. Dana i remember a day that we started doing fractions and i was in fourth grade. Always like the best student. I was like wait, what did she just say . And i remember, and especially for women, young girls right, they always say im not good in math. We have spent decades saying no, everybody has the same potential. And i was mentioning in the commercial break i love the movie Hidden Figures about the amazing africanamerican women that worked at nasa. There was racism against them in the workplace. They were discriminated against the woman who had to walk 10 minutes to find a bathroom because she wasnt allowed to use the white peoples bathroom that was actual racism. What set them apart . They could all do math . So i think this is crazy. Greg im just not into solving for x. Its like why dont you just tell me what it is. Do we need to solve for x . Jesse only if we need to find out how much to tip. Greg i thought you dont tip, jesse. Jesse just sign your name then. Greg stop looking at your phone. And start paying attention to your kids. Who wrote this . I would never say that. More on americas tech addiction next. Performance comes in lots of flavors. Theres the ampedup, overtuned, feedingfrenzyof sheetmetalkind. And then theres performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. Thats the kind lincolns about. I am totally blind. And non24 can make me show up too early. Or too late. Or make me feel like im not really there. Talk to your doctor, and call 8442342424. Dagen americas tech addiction impacting how people are racing their kids. 69 of parents feel addicted to their phones and spend almost as much time scrolling as they do with their kids. 50 of parents have been asked by their own children to put their phones away. Daddy o waters . Jesse yeah, i have been asked that. Its really humiliating. I dont like to talk about it but i will because im paid to. I was at dinner the other night and entrees were taking forever. I could tell the girls were getting close to going to bed and screaming and having a fit. Do you know what i did . Took my phone, gave it to them and they put on youtube kids and they were great until the entrees came out. There are certain times to use the phones effectively. If you are with the kids its good to not touch the phone and dont make an excuse its like oh, im working. We have that excuse because we are in the news business. Oh, yeah, checking twitter, researching for the five. You are not. You are looking on instagram. Thats the truth. Dagen i think the lie in this survey respond dents said they spent 2 hours and 17 minutes of personal time on phones, 2 hours and 41 minutes of quality time with their kids. I dont think they are spending maybe five minutes with those kids. Dana . Dana well, i dont have children. I have a dog. Greg you have jasper. Dana the dog doesnt like the phone either. Did i hear some good advice from kim strassel who is a Fox News Contributor wall street journal columnist. She said on the weekends she has a box and everybody, she has three children, and her significant other, everybody put the phones in the box. Locks it and no one can use their phone. Sounds a little extreme, but it really is for forced family fun. Jesse forced family fun. [laughter] greg two points. One, apple forced an update on my phone and since then it has been an absolute disaster. They moved the trash can where i used to reply now when i want to reply i just trash everybody. My password sticks. They have made this very hard on me. Having said that about this phone, phones are better than children, okay . They dont let you down. You can carry them around wherever you want to go. You know, technology is a better version than all of us. We think the mona lisa is amazing. Oh, look at this beautiful a much better version of mona lisa, could do 1,000 of them in ten minutes. We appreciate art and imament becausentertainment. We are so bad at it. One great book out of a million people. We can get a million books out of one laptop. We should just embrace technology they are our children. Our children we dont need them. Jesse did you say the mona lisa is overrated. Greg yes, it is. Have you looked at it lately. Jesse not lately but i have looked at it. [laughter] greg i tried to outdo you in absurdity and i think i failed. Jesse all right. Well, listen, you must like sex robots because sex robots. Dana what . Jesse im serious. Take that to the logical conclusion. You are saying this is better than a human being . Greg well, no. You know what . Jesse you need the human touch, greg. Juan i think i will stay out of this conversation. [laughter] greg wisest move. Juan i like kids and i like grand kids and i think its interesting for me because what you described at the dinner table is the other way. So, their parents will give them they give them screens. Jesse the whole dinner . Juan hey, talk to me. I would like to know how your week was. The parents want them on the screens because then the parents are able to engage in adult conversation. Jesse right. They need that adult conversation to stay sane. Juan right. I also would like to know my grand kids and kids. Guess what . The kids, you know, especially my daughter who is a lawyer, she will pick up the phone and she will be like dude, im working. People are asking me im thinking more like well, lets just exercise some personal discretion here and say this is family time. Jesse now, if you tell your kids to do that, what do they say . Juan they dont. Jesse they dont listen to you no more. Juan in fact, she doesnt let the kids have any of those mobile devices during the week, during the school week. Its limited to the weekends. And then, of course, at dinner, family dinnerrer. Jesse you only see them on the weekends. Thats your problem. Im with you, juan, im with you williams. Juan thank you. Dagen i would still rather build a fort than be on this one. Dana lock your phone in a creek. Dagen thanks, robots. One more thing next. In the navy . The navy an warfarin. I want that too. Eliquis. Eliquis is proven to reduce stroke risk better than warfarin. Plus has significantly less major bleeding than warfarin. Eliquis is fdaapproved and has both. Whats next . Reeling in a nice one. Dont stop taking eliquis unless your doctor tells you to, as stopping increases your risk of having a stroke. Eliquis can cause serious and in rare cases fatal bleeding. Dont take eliquis if you have an artificial heart valve or abnormal bleeding. While taking eliquis, you may bruise more easily and it may take longer than usual for any bleeding to stop. Seek immediate medical care for sudden signs of bleeding, like unusual bruising. Eliquis may increase your bleeding risk if you take certain medicines. Tell your doctor about all planned medical or dental procedures. Eliquis, the number one cardiologistprescribed blood thinner. Ask your doctor if eliquis is whats next for you. Mom youve got to [ get yourself a new car. G ] i wish i could save faster. Youre making good choices. Youll get there. Were you going to tell me about this . I know i cant afford to go. I still have this car so you can afford to go. I am so proud of you. Thanks. Principal. We can help you plan for that. Start today at principal. Com. Here hold this. Follow that spud. [ tires screech ] the big idaho potato truck is touring america telling folks about idaho potatoes. And i want it back. What is it with you and that truck . Its time for one more thing. Greg . Get. Greg we should do that story tomorrow. Dana i think you should do a monologue on it. Greg the waxing story. Okay. Lets do this. Animals are great animals are great animals are great greg i dont know what im talking about except, you know what . I hate always being the third wheel when you are out with a couple. Like this poor fellow here. You know, they are sitting at a restaurant enjoying cucumber and poor little guy left out of the whole scene. And do you know what . They should be making that little fellow feel a little bit more welcome and share bunnies are overrated just like the mona lisa. The mona lisa is overrated and so are the bunnies. Look at the little guy. He is going to cry. Animals are great. Animals are great dana always include your friends if you take them on a date. Dana all right, jesse . Jesse check out this burning tree in trinity texas. It got struck by lightning. Look at that fire engulfing the interior of the tree. A study out of seattle now that says lightning is racist and we are going to be doing that tomorrow. There you have it. Dana is that true . Jesse yeah, discrimination. Very selective. Dana you will have to explain that to me. A mother of two. She had a sleepness night because she was convinced there was a ghost baby in bed with her son. Marissa sebil she spotted the infants feet staring at her through her 18montholds son baby monitor. At first she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her and tried to ignore her. The image continued to creep her out. She couldnt get good enough look and she was really upset about it. Turns out her mind was put at ease when she realized her husband just forgot to put the mattress protector on when she changed the sheets and the ghost face was just a babys face on like the label. Greg i dont believe that. Look at that whole thing. Greg i dont believe it at all. I think its fake news. Dana you think its a ghost . Yes. Its fake booze. Boos. Juan thats good. Dana that question that guy asked you on twitter, i can see why they are asking. Yuan . Juan maybe im amazed at the way you love me all the time. Thats the way Paul Mccartney put it. Take a look at this. What do you do on your 72nd wedding anniversary . Here are 91yearold sweet hearts leonard and shirley mattis of burlington, colorado. Still in love after all these years. And so shirley got dressed up in a radiant pink gown for the anniversary. The nurses at the Senior Living center organized the photo shoot on the special date for them. The couple have seven children in addition to grandchildren and great grandchildren. One daughter says while shirley now has dementia she has no problem recognizing one person, leonard, the man she called, quote, the love of her life. Love to love you. Isnt that wonderful . Dana that is very sweet. Excellent job there. Day began, take youdagen . Take your time. Dagen im taking my time so i dont have anything offensive. Lovely elderly couple. I love corgie. Held during halftime seahawks week seven game againsts ravens. There you go the dog named dwayne the rock johnson was the real mvp pete seven other corgies. Second annual cup. I have a favorite corgi on the internet willow. Take a look. Greg great ears. That is a corgi. [laughter] willow howls when she eats. Greg that was a howl . Dagen she has that little howl at the end. I literally have spent 30 minutes during my day today watching that video over and over and over. Juan it calmed your anxiety. Greg i hear that coming allot from kilmeades office. He doesnt have a dog. Dana he has two dogs. One of them is deaf. Jesse how do you know if a dog is deaf . Dana because it doesnt come. Dana like this. Dana honestly i have one question, america. What has happened today . [laughter] what has happened today on our show . What are you going to eat tonight . Greg friday chicken. Seem Fried Chicken and corn. No cucumber for me, my friend. I cant wait. Its going to be a big bucket of love. Dagen can i make a suggestion though . Do not order delivery Fried Chicken. Get it out of the fryer. As a southerner best advice. Greg too lazy. Dagen you got to eat it hot out of the fryer. Greg i cant do that. Dana never miss an episode o of the five. Special report is up next. Bret, we enjoyed having you. Bret im sorry i left. [laughter] President Trump draws a lynching on capitol hill. Tells impeachment inquisitors his version of event surrounding the phone call of ukraines leader and what was happening on the ground and why is current senator and former republican president ial nominee mitt romney using a secret twitter account . This is special report. Good evening. Im bret baier in new york tonight, we are all about the words tonight. President trump is using one of the flash point words in this countrys long history of troubled Race Relations to portray himself as a victim in the