Tom thank you, michael. Lets welcome our guests. In 2008, she won the only election i was happy about. Conservative political commentator and yes, miss america 2008, kirsten haglund. Im amazed a man of his age still gets invited to tea parties. Comedian stephen kruiser. Hes young at heart and in your program, comedian tim young. And hes an expert at the dead lift, so if youre looking for a pallbearer, hes your guy. Sitting right next to me, comedian is joe devito. Okay, lets start the show. Tom sweden is picking a fight with President Trump, on a platform hes not very comfortable with, twitter. When president on saturday blamed problems the scandinavian country is having on the refugee policy, the swedes disagreed. Swedens twitter account, which is manned by a new citizen every week, responded by putting the violence and perspective. We have around 100 birdies per year, thats like to go days the u. S. Two. Days. Donald trump is now saying that immigration in sweden has now led to an increase in crime. Also responded with a gift or jif of dwight. The Washington Post reported that over four hours, the crowd burned over half a dozen cars, vandalized a shopfront, and threw rocks at police. Kirsten, weird timing, wasnt i it . Such bad timing for sweden. Im almost 100 swedish. Tom you dont look at. My whole family. And theyre the most nonconfrontational people in the world, which is what so interesting about this treatment that this suite of the week went on. Whats really true here is that yes, there wasnt one incident that happened that trump alluded to or made it sound like he was alluding to, but the fact is that europe really does have assimilation and integration problems. Just because Crime Statistics havent necessarily gone up for the last couple of years doesnt mean that they dont have a real problem with integration and assimilation. Which this country i actually think there is a lot better. I think were luckier than some European Countries and our ability to really assimilates immigrants and refugees. In france, sweden, germany, its hard for people to become over and become a frenchman or a german, but anyone can come an american, anyone who comes here can build their life here. We are a nation of immigrants. I say that as a conservative, but its true, anybody can become an american, and thats what kept us safe i think. Tom stephen, what do you think of this . Do you think they should be giving a twitter account to a different person every week . The fact that they have a National Account lets us know all we need to know. Its the whole countries account. I like the wandering off the street, the drunk citizen of the week taking over the account. Obviously a recipe of success. The worst is when they get really better on the weekends and start sub tweeting norway about stuff. Tom very inside, isnt it . I think, joe, they obviously took offense, but theyre getting a little attention for once, the swedes. The fact that they rotate the twitter account is adorable. Tom american doesnt have an account. The united state. Imagine if we had someone tweeting out irrational things, we certainly couldnt tolerate that, we have the man in charge doing it, of course. I think the timing, they jumped on it because they made it sound like something happened that night before, but sweden has had a big problem with this, and the reason it isnt showing from the Crime Statistics is that they stopped in 2005 keeping track of the ethnic and immigration status of the people who commit crime. Theyre just not reporting that information, because ethnic swedes are having these riots all of a sudden, tell us why. Did ikea run out of allen wrenches all of a sudden . The fact is you have people coming from a culture that they have no desire to assimilate, and thats going to cause problems. You had a population that was very homogenous beforehand, and you lead and a lot of people who are military age men, and they say look at the refugees coming through europe, theyre not children. Theyre talking on phones. Number one sign of a terrorist, there talking on a phone. Tom a tracksuit is the number one sign of it terrorist. As an italian american, i can say that a guy in a tracksuit, especially wearing a dress shoes, is not a good sign. Thats not an integration problem. Tom not everyone on the phone as a terrorist, but i do think all terrorist do get on their phones every once in a while. In 24, at least one every episode theyre on cell phones. Tom jack bauer never had to charge his phone. He wasnt taking pictures are going on social media. A tom what do you think, the swedes here, i think they protest too much. In these neighborhoods, the cops arent going in there so the crimes are getting reported. They need a data guy instead of a twitter guy. Maybe max is having a bad week, he just got dumped and hes taking it out on twitter. If i was usa tim, i talk about how i hated everything. Tom thats what you do anyway. Ive been to sweden, one of the things i thought was funny as we were talking to these two women, they were selfconscious about their english in one of them said youre making fun of us because we are half finished. If theyre having problems integrating between the fins and the swedes. We couldnt even tell the difference. The european population is not as open to immigrants, a lot of them have the standoffish, you cant become a frenchman or become a swede. Thats why i think a lot of old right and far right groups are gaining a lot of groups are gaining popularity. Tom your average joe is kind of tired of it as well. Not just the far right. The far left as well, they have a lot of groups that are uprising, and sometimes violently as well. Its a really strange situation under the radar on both sides. I cant tell white people apart, so i dont know. They all look the same to me. Thats so racist. Tom if we all look the same, i probably get a little upgrade. A boycott against trump wine has backfired a big league. An organization for women called on people to stop shopping wegmans at supermarkets. The president of the group told the Washington Post that if they are carrying trump wine, they will not shop there. So what happens, wegmans refused to cave, and Trump Supporters just started to buy up all the wind. Tweeted one fan many others echoed the sentiment, they are now mostly sold out of the wine around the state in the company says it maybe three or four weeks before its available again. So mission accomplished, National Organization for women, you got trump wine off the shelves. I didnt know there were so many trump wine drinkers, did you . I did not know that, but i will say this, my love for wegmans is unconditional. They could be selling Jeffrey Dahmer brand wine and i would say ask if it goes with chicken or a beef dish. Wegmans is a wonderful company, a very high rating of satisfaction of the people who work there, i dont understand these constant boycotts. Its better than smashing stuff, but just dont shop there, dont go there, leave people alone. Everything from shopping to what clothes you wear, everything has to be political now. They are digging deep in the trumps now. Tom eric is always around here at fox news. Hes a great guy. Tim, the National Organization for women says theyre showing their economic might. This is great, actually. Im going on tour in a couple of months here, ladies, i love president donald j. Trump. Keep me off the shelf. Tom would it work for comedians, its so radical to have a musician show up at the grammys like that, but if you come out for trump as a conservative comedian maybe theyll set me on fire this time, too. That would be good. Tom hasnt hurt you, outside your show, stephen . I wasnt even, i was one of those weirdos last year who wasnt super trump or super antiterm, i was kind of in the middle. Tom did you go antitrump at first . I said no, hes not my guy in the primary but i dont think he poses an x essential threat. Im older and im a grown up and i dont worry about anything as much anymore. Since the election happen, boycotts and petitions are stupid, and those of the two things that weve had nothing but since the election. And now, i was apathetic, he was in office, give him a chance, and they keep pushing me, a comedian friend of mine and i and i said the hysteria level pushes me closer to trump. Right now, i am drunk on a cocktail of trump wine and ivanka perfume, and ive just got make America Great stamp last night. Tom they profiled you, you are a type of person. In the times, they said people in the middle were being driven toward trump because of the hate. With a bulldozer, its not even driven towards him, youre walking down the street and they showed up with the bulldozer of hate pushing you towards trump. Tom thats true. The more the left talks about him the more the right embraces him. Its so true, its very true among young people even who were very in the middle and were not super excited about Hillary Clinton and then this real reaction has left so many people feeling like if i even say my opinion on social media or otherwise i get totally attacked. I myself, personally, i agree that wegmans is the best. Tom why is it so good . Its the wonderland of shopping experiences, you could spend hours in there. The variety, the experience, people are so nice. I will never discriminate against a good wine. Of the trumps took up a winery that was in foreclosure so it had been there for a while, and virginia ones are delicious. Tom ive got to check out that wegmans. Isnt like like whole foods, high end . Tom its like if you went to whole foods and bought cashews and they didnt cost you 135. Why arent they boycotting whole foods . Because its a liberal playground, thats why. Tom they cant live without whole foods. I never thought id say this, but we really need to listen to jose canseco. On monday, he unleashed a storm of tweets about the robot threa threat. He wrote already today, a fully robo ties factory reduces human jobs 95 and reduces deficits 80 . 87 tweets let later, he concluded that all will be left is uber technical human Trained Service robots. At least robots could never replace baseball players, or could they . [laughter] that thinks the best. A tom he does it better than a certain light hitting second baseman. I guess someone forgot to put the joke in the prompter there. What happened to him, didnt he wander away . Tom tim, first of all, i love that, i will go to see a game of robots playing baseball. That was very exciting. I would love to see that, but tell me, who hasnt gotten high and watching a terminator marathon. Youll start yelling about skynet with your roommates. Or maybe it walle on repeat. Tom i think he got a tough shakes, because he was the first guy to come out and admit everything, and then later on he was proved right. Everybody hates him, he is a gem on twitter though. Hes insane. You have to read them, you cant just listen to him, because his punctuation and spelling are off. Tom i dont know anyone else like that. He comes up with these gems, and you go what if hes right . When im walking down the street and theres some crazy guy ranting, i like to check myself every once in a while and think what if hes a jesus . What if jose canseco is jesus on twitter . Hes insane, but theres just enough kernels to make you hang on throughout the entire thing. Tom has it ever been jesus . Did you investigate . I talked to a couple of them, and if its jesus he wants me to figure it out on my own. [laughter] yeah, dude, its me. Tom are you afraid of the robots, kirsten . I am actually afraid of robots. Irrationally and rationally. A tom he created, he was using rational thought, he was saying theyre going to take the jobs and its going to be bad. Thats my point, these little gems of wisdom. The wall street journal recognize that hes actually predicted some economic trends, so just because he doesnt necessarily have the right punctuation or grammar im not going to not listen to what he has to say. This is quite interesting because im a big science nerd, and they have both warned about the serious threat of artificial intelligence. And there are some of the most brilliant people on the planet. Even if you cant accept jose canseco, you can accept Stephen Hawking and elon musk. Tom musk wants to combine with computers. I think what Stephen Hawking said about alien life is we should keep a low profile. Hes going to treat us like we treat lobsters. I can understand his robo phobia because if you want to talk about fear of replicants, he said once sent his twin brother, he booked a celebrity boxing match, and just sent his twin brother as him. This guy is brilliant. It when he got there, people were like you dont have the same tattoos, it didnt work. But i like the idea that hes worried about robots taking over one he said his brother would go do that. A tom if i had a twin brother, i would use him to do many things. Coming up, how to speak to donald trump. Its going to be huge, believe me. Me. A i wanti did my ancestrydna and where i came from. And i couldnt wait that im 26 native american. Hs i had no idea. Just to know this is what im made of, this is where my ancestors came from. And i absolutely want to know more about my native american heritage. Its opened up a whole new world for me. Discover the story only your dna can tell. Order your kit now at ancestrydna. Com. Live it from americas news headquarters, i am Jackie Ibanez in new york. New details this morning from malaysia, regarding the murder of kim jonguns half brother if there are eight suspects, but Police Chiefs will not confirm that the government was behind the murder. Investigators now say that conspirators got two women to smear a lethal toxin on his face. Agencies across the country are reporting booming business since President Trump was elected president. It seems there has been a frantic rush by immigrants to get their citizenship application for fear that they may be deported under the administrations policies. Misfortune for folks in california, after coping with a drought for years, they are now battling severe storms that are triggering floods and mudslides. The northern part of the state is getting hit especially hard. A broken river levee about 80 miles east of san francisco. And this in san jose just south of san francisco. The water waste hi there, nearly half the state is under flood advisory this morning. An unmanned russian cargo ship, booster rocket blasted off. Previous attempt to launch a ship crashed less than 2 minutes after liftoff. I am Jackie Ibanez, for all your news headlines, log on to foxnews. Com. Tom an article in the japan times says japanese interpreters are struggling to make sense of trumpese when translating trip president trum President Trump. A translator says he only speaks logically and only says certain sides of things, there were moments when i suspected what he was saying was dubious. A retired interpreter says its not an interpreters job to upgrade a politicians speech. If trump is not making sense, you dont get to make sense either. If his languages course, thats the way you translate him. She seems to be no fan of trump either, but the American Media should heed her advice, because they often take it upon themselves to interpret trump. And in doing so, they make things up. They did it several times in the last few days, when trump tweeted this attack on these news organizations at when he spoke against swedish immigration problems at a rally, the press claims he made up a terrorist attack. He mentioned no attack, they made that up. Time and time again, the Mainstream Media chooses to interpret for us what the president is actually saying. Fake news is not about facts. Its about filters. The news media filters the facts, rearranges them to say what they want and then demands we discussed their narrative on their terms. Its not working. Almost nobody believes them anymore. Thats the real danger to a free press. Use of a musical tim, what did you think of these japanese interpreters. Lets be real honest here, theyre not working for fox news, cnn, abc, cbs. I dont know if you guys even have japanese interpreters. Fake news that all these others, especially cnn. Tom it do you think, i think just like the interpreter, the second interpreter gave pretty good advice. You have to deal with whats given to you instead of just making up a story. Thats what the first interpreter is doing here. Tom i use those two examples, but its been happening during the campaign, they go ahead and they create their own narrative, yes or no . The media . Yes, definitely. They might as well be doing it in japanese, because theyre not reporting anything thats happening in front of them. Terror attack, terror attack, terror attack, when i finally looked at the transcript, theres no terror attack. Theyve been making this up forever. The media is part of the bulldozer thats pushing people towards trump. The more they ranted about his press conference here, i got to the point where i wanted to hug him. Ive never wanted to be near him anymore. The more they lied about him for the next 24 hours, i just want to touch that here. Tom would you go to a rally . They seem like a lot of fun. Kirsten, youre probably similar. During the campaign, you probably want a big trump supporter. He wasnt my guy. Im a conservative, i support the republican party. But i agree with you, i just wish that he would communicate a little more elegantly. Sometimes i wish, i wish we would have trump as he speaking and then a trump interpreter. Himself interpreting himself, saying what he meant. So we could avoid all of this and actually talk about the real issues, other than the whole next news day being taken out by the media destroying for one comment, its ridiculous. Its conservative tom the pope has an interpreter who follows him around everywhere. The pope will Say Something and then theyll go on and say he didnt really mean that. Donald trump needs to have a pope like translator. Tom joe, so what if theyre having trouble translating, hes talking to america. He still american, trump. Im not surprise the japanese are having trouble with this, the translations dont line up. Call me a traditionalist, but i think the best way to interpret donald trump is through the median up for modern dance. I feel like that really gets his point across. Remember bloombergs sign language interpreter, she was like popping and locking, she was awesome. Trump certainly couldnt do his own sign language, because of the tiny hands people would be saying speak up. This is another media trick, if you want to make someone look stupid, you leave in all the ums and ahhs in the transcript. Also you say tom shillue claimed instead of tom shillue said. He has an audit, circular way of communicating things, but he is a good communicator, he communicates himself very well. People are picking up the message. Tom he knows who hes talking to. I have several friends in manhattan and i told him that hes not talking to you, he doesnt have your vote anyway. Coming up, halftime with special guest michael malice. Tom welcome back, its time to find out what we got wrong and what we may have missed from a man named michael malice, hes over on the red eye news deck. Michael dinner is ready. Tom, you said that the average swede is sick of it. But a poll says they are not sick of it at all. The guy that was aunt tuckers show and started this whole thing, the guy said its amazing that more swedes arent up in arms about this. Michael there only 4. 6 of the population, but at this rate it wont be the average sven, itll be the average muhammed in the next few years. Canada could occupy sweden right now was no problem whatsoever. If youve got so few people going you do the twitter, they really dont need to organize. Whos up next, the guy outside. Its a nice Little Country and thats why they can get away with socialism. Michael is it fair to say they only get 140 characters russian mark joe, you said that swedes dont really want to be in reality i heard next week youre going to be running their instagram. Michael were talking about trump line, tim went youre going on tour, theyre going to keep not laughing at you. That is correct. [laughter] i cant swear on this network, man. Michael i dont know the lingo, im too old. Kirsten haglund, you said wegmans is the best, and you asked why they are not whole foods. Whats interesting about this story, this was only ten wegmans in virginia that it was bought out of it would be very easy for one person to go clean them out. That was me actually. Michael are you drunk right now . If i am, im a real heavyweight. No, of course not. Michael joe, you said you couldnt tell if Jeffrey Dahmer wine couldnt go with me for chicken, the correct answer is veal. Baby lambs, not cool. Michael its not lambs. People its people im defending animals. Tom he didnt hurt animals, he h people, it was fine. Michael stephen, you said boycotts and petitions are stupid, how would you affect change in the free market without them . I just check out, i wouldnt affect change anymore. I would like to use the power of the purse, but my purse has never been big enough to influence anything. I think i would just check out. Michael why do you have a purse . The 80s. Cocaine. We were all trying to be a little more hip then. Michael ill allow it. Jose canseco. Joe, you are talking about the robots taking over, thank you for using the correct russian pronunciation. Its one of the few words that was taken from russian and brought into english eventually. Kirsten, you also said that youre worried the robots are going to take over our jobs. There is a big controversy between them making people more efficient and productive, or are humans being obsolete like horses . What do you think . Mcdonalds and a lot of fast food restaurants are arty replacing their servers with the selfserve machines, so i think its arty happening. People are being replaced. Michael good point. Stephen, you said what if jose canseco is jesus and is actually tweeting, but jesus never wrote his own words, it was all secondhand. You dont have to worry about it. Youre all set. Okay, we were talking about the translator. Joe, careful with that godzilla joke come on now. Michael i feel like jose canseco. Stephen, you said you want to hug trump, but just be careful, trump hugs back. Kirsten, you said it the media always focuses on one comment is that trump makes, ive heard the theory that he will often throw out an incendiary comment intentionally knowing that it will get free coverage and they will be refuting it because itll reach the audience. That way he gets repressed. Thats why he tweets before 9 00 a. M. A sad. Tom ive heard that you sometimes say incendiary things hoping they will get [bleep] so your next ones will get in. Michael ive never heard such a thing in my life. Tom thats what he told me me. Michael that was personal stephen, you imply that the media makes up its own narratives, but isnt that what youre doing when youre writing a story . Yes but not when youre reporting. If you are doing a mark twain thing, then yeah, youre making up stories. Michael all right, tom, its been served. Thank you. Tom thank you, michael. Coming up, pluto might become a planet once more. My exclusive interview with the former planet, next. But first, kennedy. Hey there read i deadbeats, on the next kennedy, discussing the next move for the trump white house. [vo] quickbooks introduces jeanette. And her new business i do, to go. Jeanette was excellent at marrying people. But had trouble getting paid. Not a good time, jeanette. Even worse. Now im uncomfortable. But heres the good news, jeanette got quickbooks. Send that invoice, jeanette. Looks like they viewed it. And, tada paid twice as fast. Oh, shes an efficient officiant. Way to grow, jeanette. New. Get paid twice as fast for free. Visit quickbooksdotcom. Live from americas news headquarters, im Jackie Ibanez in new york. From the air force to the army, military Service Branch is preparing proposals to expand. President trump making good on a Campaign Promise to grow the military, calling for an increase in servicemen across the board. They dont have the right equipment and their equipment is old. I used it, i talked about it, at every stop. Depleted. Its depleted, it wont be depleted for long. Far right president ial candidate calling controversy in lebanon. She walked back to her car and left, continue the rest of her three day trip. A new poll suggests americans just dont care for north korea. A poll says it is the country they like the least. Tom bradys jersey from the super bowl is still missing and its worth a lot more than it sent a mental value, a Police Report puts the value at nearly 500,000. Brady first reported it missing from the locker room soon after the patriots won the super bowl li. Hamburger, and now possibly chicken, the Parent Company of burger king is looking to buy popeyes. Theyre offering to buy the chicken chain. The 3yearold panda who was born at the national zoo in washington headed home to its native china. She traveled with 60 pounds of bamboo and other snacks for her flight home. Im Jackie Ibanez, now back to red eye. For all of your headlines, log onto fox news. Com. Youre watching the most powerful name in news, fox news channel. Have a great morning. Tom its been over ten years and since former planet pluto was demoted to dwarf status, but that might all change. A group of nasa scientists have petitioned the International Astronomical union to change the definition of what constitutes a planet. The new definition would be, in laymans terms, round objects in space that are smaller than stars. Here to discuss this, longtime friend of the show, pluto. Pluto, thanks for being on the show. Thanks, tom. Thanks for finding 2 minutes of me in the back half of a show that airs at 3 00 a. M. On cable. Smack between commercials, asking if you need help going to the bathroom or kicking your cocaine habit, its a real honor. Tom pluto, you sound upset. There is good news, you might be a planet again. Oh, boy, does that mean i can go back to orbiting the sun and having a spherical shape . News flash, thats what ive been doing for the past 11 years that i have been a planet. Tom youre saying you dont want them to change the definition of a planet . Im not going to let some International Group of sexless nerds tell me what i am or am not. The new definition says the planet is any round object in space that is smaller than a start . That means the moon would become a planet, that dumb rock that you love so much you never bothered to go back and visit once you realize the final frontier was a less exciting version of arizona. Tom pluto, you are right that there would be 110 new planets if they change the definition. You think the Trump Administration is going to let in 110 undocumented planets into our solar system . If i can be a planet, aint nobody going to be a planet. Not the moon, not the robots, not the asteroid that will tragically claim the life of bruce willis but keep liv tyler around for god knows why. Pluto killer, mike brown, you are still dead to me. Tom you always have a problem with mike brown. Pluto, thanks for being with us. It was a good connection, he sounded pretty good, didnt he . Plutos gone. A on that phone, four and 80s. Tom kirsten, should pluto be a planet . I was so sad when pluto lost its planet status. You grow up learning the nine planets, this whole part of being a kid, you make the project with the styrofoam balls and you build them all, pluto is the tiny cute one at the end. Its not a planet anymore, its awful. Im very propluto. Tom i think a lot of people missed pluto when it left, eight planets, thats not right. Im a native arizonan, i missed it until it copped that attitude. Pluto was actually discovered as a planet at an observatory in arizona. Maybe dial it down a little, pluto. It owes is asked higher planetary existence to arizona. He tom it was almost a complement. That definition, Michael Moore is a planet now. I had to go there and make Michael Moore joke. Pluto is actually smaller than our moon, did you know that . Tom i dont think pluto should have an attitude about our moon. If you can talk about pluto for a minute, kirsten passed the test, shes got facts about pluto. Tom tim, you didnt make those styrofoam balls . I went to a Public School in baltimore. We were eating those styrofoam balls. Detroit, sweden. Theyre going to come in here, think they are thugs, the plutonians. Theyre going to take our jobs. This whole dwarf planet designations on like bullying. We are arguing, meanwhile uranus is like can we get a name change . I say, let pluto back in, that way we all know the only really lame planet is planet fitness. Tom you probably go there, dont you . I would never go to a planet fitness. Tom coming up, back by nobodys demand a fourstar rating, were good. His name is randy. Thats like one of the most trustworthy names ordering a getaway car with an app . Are you randy . Thats me awesome surprising. Whats not surprising . How much money erin saved by switching to geico. Everybody comfortable with the air temp . I could go a little cooler. Ok. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. Tom the good people at zima have heard your pleas. Theyre bringing it back. The popular 90s clear Malt Beverage will soon be back on the shelves. Beer business daily reports that the brand is already an distributor where houses and will allegedly be offered for a limited time only if youre one of the zillion fans who have a missed zima, the answer should be clear, who always speaks like that. Im more a bacardi breeze are kind of guy, but i did always enjoy the zima commercial. She stared deep into my eyes and said hi. I replied just to break the ice. What are you drinking . Zima. Not like beer. Wine cooler . No. A disarming taste. She smiled zuddenly at me and said zing. Tom lets see how america is reacting to the news that zima is back. It aint over yet tom that guy is the best. Jo, do you know who that zima guy was . Hes had a very good career since then, i hate to think hes been sitting for 20 years by the phone waiting for a speech impediment to correct itself. I think its interesting, they said zima will be back zune, get the music player is gone. I went and looked up, i thought, are they going to bring back bartels and james, but those still exist. It makes you put your age on the web site, so who are these young people looking them up . They dont even know what it is. Tom kirsten, do you like zima . I did not it was, i was born in 1988. As soon as i looked it up and i saw this commercial, i thought i totally get it. It people want to go back to the 1990s, thats what its all about. Im actually asking you guys, people used to put jolly ranchers in them to make it taste better . Thats what i was reading on several web sites. We used to put jolly ranchers into make it taste better, and i love jolly ranchers. If it tastes like deli ranchers, i will drink zima. That wasnt a jolly rancher. Tom say goodbye, panel. A goodbye. Special report is next. A new push to enforce existing Immigration Law with a zero tolerance policy for Illegal Immigrants committing felonies. After a shaky start, President Trumps immigration policy stars to take shape. This is special report. Good evening. Welcome to washington. After his first effort was largely rejected by the courts, President Trump is launching a second round of moves aimed at coping with illegal immigration and accelerating deportations. It is both a strategic and tactical change working within the rules, as they are now written. It is separate f