Guests, she thinks the way she thinks outside the box. Joanne nosuchinsky. Little known fact, you can see his hair from space. And she has the charm of a snake oil salesman, low on cash, comedian kate wall. And if he really was a libertarian, he would do a striptease act right now. And matt welsh, okay, lets start the show. If you cross donald trump, be prepared for a strongly worded handwritten note. Trump has mastered twitter and tv but his preferred form of communication is really the personal letter. The New York Times dug into his personal information and found letters of love, gratitude and revenge. In 2009, he wrote to the inventor of a film, extremely dishonest, ps, you are a loser. In a 1985 letter to new york mayor ed koch, he complained about the food vendors, having food splattered across the sidewalk, is disgraceful. Sometimes the notes were fawning, like this one to Rudy Giuliani, he called Rudy Giuliani the greatest mayor the city has ever had. And then he drew arrows and added in marker, rudy, you are the greatest. He had a lower opinion of Kareem Abduljabbar who last fall criticized his running for office. Now i know why the press treated you so badly, the truth is you have no clue about life and what has to be done to make America Great again. I dont know, that doesnt sound like the trump i know and love. Look, joanne, the letters, theyre very punchy. I want a letter. You want a letter with the writing and the margins . Yes, i think everybody does. Even those people who get the not so nice ones will never throw it away. Like the one guy had it framed next to photos of his children, because its a big deal, there are people who dont do handwritten letters anymore. Its a least art. A lot of them are not letters, per se, its notes over your writing critiquing your entire life, he writes notes and says hey, what you said is terrible. But best wishes. I know youre killing it out there, buddy. I think its great, he is a very busy guy and so i think he appreciates you know just being able to like with Rudy Giuliani he knows he is busy. So he actually points arrows to the good thing, doesnt have to read the whole article, just read what i said about you. I think its pretty good. Might you be overstating this scrawling like an ape, sending best wishes. We need to o hopefully this i the last time baby boomers run for president , right . Because nobody under 60 knows how to use a pen anymore. And what the hell type of article is this in the New York Times, this is a whole article about the fact that sometimes donald trump uses a pen, or a sharpy, i think thats a great pen. It felt like what i wrote when i was 12, such as in my diary, the Cafeteria Food is horrible, plus, i love my boyfriend. I love bill de blasio. Im sure he doesnt write like this. We all forget how to write because we dont do it anymore. Look, i think it is a sign, these people, they framed them and kept them. That is why the new york Kareem Abduljabbar sky hooked it in the trash. Im sure he saved a copy of it. That is what makes it special. Certainly, kate, you know it came from trump when you see the handwriting . Of course, i love how he just signs it donald, it has donald j. Trump, like he is too cool to do the whole name, donald, like we know who donald is. And it is interesting they mentioned sky scrapers, his handwriting is meant to resemble the campaign has been a musical odyssey, there should be a sound track that couldnclude something from his folk album. As i went walking the highway and of course this delightful ditty. Change your mind. Now, there is another song to add, teaming up with bernie on a new track called feel it in your gets. Its said to be quote, laced with excerpts from Bernie Sanders speeches, touching on topics like money, and social justice. Sadly, to download your song you have to first donate to the Bernie Sanders campaign, which of course i refuse to do because of my strict journalistic ethics. Wait a minute, we live that is the song . Who donated to bernie . I didnt, somebody on our staff donated to bernie. We have like an undercover bernie supporter on the staff. Enough to support their families for thousands of years. This is the most underwhelming of all of his songs, isnt it . Bernie . The acoustics i truly dislike the song, he had the folk covered in the first one, he doesnt need a folk album i cant believe that is the song. A guitar, a sad little hippy guitar over a man speaking. That is not music. It is not, joanne, do you even know theyre not youthful anymore. Listen, i have been to sonic. No relation to the fast food. I have no idea who they are. But i support the arts. But i do not support i do not support Bernie Sanders, even though he supports the arts. Apparently, though, this group said that they wanted to do something political, something with a candidate. And they reached out and bernies camp said yes. Its not like bernie is the special one. He is just the one who wants i dont know, the musician vote. That is interesting. There is a lot of musicians, kate, and young people who love bernie. What is it about bernie that they like so much . I mean, he is so hot. People are excited by him. Why is he trump obviously has charis charisma, why do they like him . Because he doesnt speak like a politician. I mean, what band is making a song for hillary or trump . Megadeath . Im sure you could do something with trump and his speeches, but most of this is a parody. I would prefer a parody rather than this song. I would prefer ripping out my own eyelashes. Its like the most overrated bs art noise from new york. You saw sonic youth yes, and walked out but they have die hard fans. Im sure they do. I am sure every band that has ever been called art or anything with the word punk in it, you should never make a song for any politician that has more than 5 of the vote. What is the point of supporting a freaking politician let alone somebody who cant dance they want exposure. All of this tension for crying out loud. But they were punk at one point in time. Now that time has passed. Sonic youth, theyre old. They were old when i was young. I think theyre older than barack obama if im not mistaken. Absolutely, theyre way older than him. Come on. I had to pause to think about that. Okay, Hillary Clinton also has cool bands in her corner. This duo recently recorded this song for her. You know, the walrus is nothing without the guidany who dancing behind him, that is the secret of their success. Hillary has at least one rocker at her side, on wednesday, jon bon jovi joined her on stage. And a certain song was quoted. See if you can guess which one. I hate to contradict bon jovi, but dear god. Hillary clinton you got it right. I think hillary care is good medicine. He then told hillary, ill be there for you. Those five words, i swear to you. And finally he said he wanted Bernie Sanders, he wanted him dead or alive. Preferably dead. He didnt say that, joanne, we made up those last ones, but who do you think . Booker, corey booker . Its real cheesy and just makes it seem like is he dating hillary . Does he want to date hillary . What is that whole he is a hillary supporter, and bon jovi, he needs younger people isnt he a jersey artist . And booker has his jersey roots and she has the jersey primary coming up. So maybe, also he wants to be vp, are you kidding me . I think that he is already thinking like if im doing this for her then maybe she will do something for me. But what i have to say in response is what does love got to do with it . You know, its a strange song to quote, bon jovi. Well, do you think joanne is right . Is booker going for the vp spot . That would be a very interesting choice. He would love to. Its a nonstarter. Hillary clinton is in the pocket of teachers unions to a really astounding degree. And booker is in favor of moderate School Choice and things like that. It wouldnt happen. And teachers unions, she is in so good with them you would think she could risk a little bit with corey booker. She is going to have to want to not going to have to want to protect her left flank against those like booker she has to go to like love, he own quoted a maya people. It was kind of lovie, i just pictured if he had sex he would be on the bottom with her. Its like who is run follow preside running for president . That is an interesting take. He rivals trump with the twitter, he goes crazy with the twitter feed. Architect he is always sending direct messages to people who pulled over and heard a bad song on the road. He will stop his car so he can tweelt, right . What do you think of corey booker . I used to think he was a closet republican because he is against the orthodoxy, but i think he is a genuine man he is very taylored, for that he is a good man. Next, elon musk says there is only one in a billion chance were not living in a computerized simulated world. Created by advanced beings. Here is his sexy answer. There are so many simulation discussions its crazy. In fact it got to the point where every conversation was the ai simulation conversation. And my brother and i agreed that we would ban such conversations if we were ever in a hot tub. Well, that rules out the play boy mansion, do you make deals with your brother . Musk points out 30 years ago we had pong, now we have photorealistic games with graphics. He says eventually well have simulations that are not distinguishable from reality. So in his mind this means that are only one in a billion chance that we are not part of a sim, does that make sense . His reasoning seems the opposite to me. We had pong, were the ones developing the game so were reality. Were not in some kind of matrix, are we . I dont want to know. I dont want to take the red pill, like what possible good could come from knowing were all just pawns in somebody elses game there . I prefer fiction that is real life. I want to tell you what i think the good is, i am very into this stuff so i spend a lot of time thinking about do you think about it in a hot tub with your brother . No, no, i dont, that makes me very uncomfortable, actually, i try not to get that visual. No, i do believe were in some kind of simulated reality, but i think we created it. Were the advanced beings. And we forget and created it and were here. We have way more power than we realize. So they want to get touched to their kind of og i think were the beings, were the ones, we created this, not because were bored, but its to learn lesson. It would be like if the guy in the game still decided to keep doing the things in the game . Oh, wait, this is really powerful. Were losing it. Yes, we are. All i know joanne is that it is we that scorched the sky, am i right . This is so far over my head. Im just so convinced that im living in the truman show and that all of you are paid actors and there are multiple hidden cameras everywhere and in my home and there is a very large audience watching me at all times. Isnt that what this show is about . We pretend to be friends, i mean, are we friends at all . We share interests, we dont even talk about those interests. You sing, i sing. Wait a minute, you sing . Sure, i do. Oh, wait, oh my god, now were going to be friends after the show. Weddings . Ive done weddings. Can we hear you . Not now. Do you ever sing in the mens bathroom with a couple of other guys . I dont do it your way. No see, who is controlling this right now . Maybe matt for all of your headlines log onto foxnews. Com. Hollywood actor Ryan Gosselin is apparently taking no chances with his heartthrob status, he says that women are better than men. My home life now is mostly women, he said. They are better than us. They make me better. Wow, laying it on thick there. When asked about his feminine side, gosling described himself as maybe 40 female. A new report shows that young men consider themselves less masculine than their counterparts. 65 say yes, theyre more masculine, but 45 of the 45 to 64 men said the same. And only 30 of men aged 18 to 29, why would younger men say this . Are they really less manly are just more inclined to say it because they were raised with the idea that masculinity is a negative trait. Teasing, bullying, dominating, winning. These are the ways that boys used to measure their masculinity growing up. But these things are all but extinct, maybe women are better than men, in functioning in a functionized world. Kate, my opinion has to be right. I used statistics. I think what is going on, we all have the masculine female and male energy within us. I feel 49 penis. Where do you keep it . Its pointing at you right now. Apparently, i didnt even know. I have to say im very happy to know he is 49 female. Because i thought he was very attractive when he was 100 man. Well, he is half woman. That is why he look Social Security good to me. What do you think of my theory, joanne, is that masculinity, it used to be yeah, get out there, be a man, nobody says that to their sons anymore. You throw like a girl used to be kind of an insult. So masculinity is on the wane because were making it that way. Yeah, i think it came with the time where women wanted to open the door, saying i can get it myself. And along with paying the check. And men were like, oh, i dont have to do the masculine things anymore and women will still like me even if i dont have to exude my masculinity, one thing that holds true is women are more beautiful than men, except in birds, have you noticed that . The male birds are the more beautiful creatures. The male peacock, showing his feathers. Its often that way in the animal kingdom. Matt, youre proving her theory wrong, arent you . I usually sit in these other chairs look, matt, what do you think . Wait a minute, i could feel you nodding your head or maybe i could see you. He has dudes with draws since syndrome, which i totally get, because im a dude with a daughter, dudes who have daughters are shocked to discover that oh my god they are so much smarter than the little boys. The little boys are smashing their faces in concrete for fun. They are dumb, theyre apes, animals, they cant talk. Theyre just really dumb little creatures, and girls are like making complicated negotiations and speaking foreign languages, doing art, my daughter is now seven, the older one. You have two daughters . Two daughters. Any boys . No, i dont want boys around. Why would you . Why dont you agree with ryan gosling, just to make a point about the super femininized society . Obviously, im wrong to go to the playground and shoo the boys away. No, he has been he smashed he pushed he didnt smash. He took all of my playstation 4 and pushed them over. Covered in mud. No, i agree. I agree. Little boys are disgusting, awful things that should be locked up until they grow up. I mean, he expresses himself through active anger. This battle needs to be brought down a peg, and i know to do it. Andy levy is next. Ah, welcome back, time to find out what we got wrong and what we missed. Andy levy at the news desk, are you ready . I am ready, tom. All right. Tom introed saying if you were a libertarian, you would do a strip tease right now at least i dont dye my hair. Hat is a fair point. Letters. Am i going to have to get into that now . All right, so here you know [ bleep ]. Correction. So every night now i get tweets from people saying something about me dyeing my hair, i dont dye my hair, i would say it if i did. I would love to have gray hair, because im going to be bald before i dye my hair. I have eyes, beautiful blue eyes that are real by the way, not fake. Still a little angry. Trumps letters, tom, you said in trumps mean letter to Kareem Abduljabbar, that doesnt sound like him, his letters to you dont sound like that. I was doing my daily rifling through your desk while you get makeup. And i ran across one of the letters he sent you, can we put that up . It says old timy tom, i watch your show, and its bad. Youre not helping make America Great, if you need tips you should have asked. Ps, andy should have been the host. Sad. [ laughter ] wow. Asking that you pretend that his letters to you were nice. That was in that was in my desk, andy . Yes, second drawer on the right. The one that was in the drawer with the lock. Joanne, you said even the people who get the mean letters they wouldnt throw them away. In fact, Kareem Abduljabbar said he balled his up and threw it in the trash. Said, allegedly. He sleeps with it under his pillow. And kate, you said he signs his name as donald. Really, you dont do the full name . I dont know, these are not exactly business letters. He has like the whole formal thing printed out at the bottom. Well, sure, its sit in the back, party in the front or whatever, or is that the other way around . I can never remember. Yeah, trump is actually yeah. Bernie sanders musical oddysey half our viewers, the same ones that think i dye my hair think im a lefty, so i thought i would just go with it. Well, somebody did, andy, because it came up. I think we figured out a way to get it. Oh, we cheated. I was wondering, we didnt hear the song all day, i thought i would have the describe it. Does it get better at any point . You think i would listen to it . Nathan, you said the moore thing is just a guitar over a man speaking and that is not musical. I guess you never heard bob dylan . Yeah, i have and that is pretty much the same thing. None of those songs get better. Joanne, i think you were kind of wrong when you said the record label was looking for a candidate and bernie happened to be the one who responded. What they said was people were friendly on bernies staff so they reached out to them. Well, yeah, when you have a connection you use it. If you knew somebody who knew hillary, they would have used it. I dont think there is loyalty there. Excellent radio head song by the way. Matt, you said sonic youth is the only band that you walked out of twice, first of all, why did you go the second time . Were you trying to get laid . Yes. Literally the only option tickets were cheap. I dont think i ever walked out on a concert, but i saw smasng pumpkins at lolapalooza, and they were so bad i walked out of the show. I walked out of the free show of foo fighters. I was angry, had not recovered from the whole all of this walking out of concerts, cant believe it. Usually you just have a good time. Kingston trio . Lawrence welk . Moore, older than president obama, 57, corey booker, i am not sure about the want sanders dead or alive the funny thing about it, it was based on a bon jovi song. I get it. Nathan, you asked if corey wants to date hillary, if you believe the rumors, the answer to that is a strong no. I will leave it at that. Joanne, you said booker wants to be hillarys vp. In fact at this same thing i think he said he is already her vp. Her vegan pal. Im so disappointed in him. He was almost so strong. Yeah, elon musk says were most likely living in a simulated world that was we probably could not get the rights to it. The funny thing is, i told him to take that picture. See, sometimes i think im set up for mistakes. No. Yes, never. Matt, you asked what possible good could come from knowing that were part of someone elses game. Which i get, and i have heard other people make that argument. I dont think that way. To me i think this is ultimately a philosophical discussion, what is the difference . Will you act differently if you think youre in a simulation . Yes. Why . Because the illusion of a free world, it allows us to wake up in the morning. You could have differently dont people steal cars in these games, but wouldnt you steal more if you knew it was all o i guess i would not. Because im just a moral person, if you need morality imposed by an external source kate, you said you believe were in a simulation but were the ones who created it and weve forgotten. If i may quote neil on this i think its good, and gives up more freedom, i think we still have free will. But its cool. Its like im the creator of this. Not as limited as i thought i was. I can create my own reality. Its free again. Joanne, when tom said it was we who scorched the sky, that was a reference from the matrix, just want to let you know. Tom, you asked matt if he ever warbled with a couple of guys in the bathroom . Just last week, i do believe were living in a Computer Program and i hope the creators are about to release a patch to fix a political bond that elected Hillary Clinton and donald trump. Headlines, log on news. Com. What is all the hubbub about haboobs . Haboobs like the one seen here are common here and in the middle east. They are saying the haboob isro airport and may affect the city, as well. The use of the term, which has arabic roots, didnt go over well with a woman there. She said haboob . Im from texas, and we have dust storms, so would you mind stating it that way . Ill find another service. And another said if you would like to move to the middle east, you can call it haboob, while here, call it a sandstorm, we texans would appreciate it. Yes, were waiting for an apology from the National Weather service. Look, haboob, its a word. Maybe do you think these texans have a problem with tsunami . I think that would be a problem. Too. I think they should be a problem with the word lubbock. Wait a minute, are you blaming me now . For, these outrage stories, presented in the story itself, like torrance, and haboob outrage, no, its everybody has a twitter account and facebook account and occasionally people issue strongly worded somethings. It doesnt mean actually anybody really cares. I dont think anybody is sitting around upset at the word haboob. I wouldnt be accept, if i saw haboob, i wouldnt know what it was. A sandstorm, that is i believe calling the dust storm [ bleep ] this whole time, so i was messing it up. No, i feel like texans are strict people like that. They can get offended by anything, like they dont even want you to use tampons. That is the rumor i heard. Maybe only one person was outraged. The back of the flag if you just turn it around. I wanted to send the texans here, the two who actually tweeted or commented, they have been having awful weather, no, really in texas there is some horrible flooding. And issues going on there. So when youre feeling that stressed, like, yeah, youre going to lash out at anyone, because you know the weather is crap. So i feel bad. But also you should keep haboob then, because if its a horrible weather condition and you think its a horrible word, well, dont they go together . Yeah, makes sense. These guys seem to have a little sense of humor, they say around here, we call it a sandstorm. And if i go to texas, and im around a woman ill say can i see your sandstorms . Both of them, not just one, you have to be more respectful. Okay, what is the worst thing a kid can do to a a chinese man created a human size lego sculpture from the movie utopia. The artist spent three days and nights putting the figure together. Lets see how far it looked an hour after the exhibition opened. Oh, dear, oh, no, organizers of the expo have released this image of the suspect. A police sketch. Actually, this was not cartoon on cartoon violence. The culprit was a young boy who knocked it over, scattering the 10,000 pieces, a boy. The artist, although heartbroken, is not seeking compensation and has accepted the parents apology and the boyss severed ear. No, he didnt of course, a boy and a lego statue. But in fairness to the boy, what is the point of lego statues . There is a lego place in manhattan, when you walk by that dont you want to go there and just like tackle well, this is the boy in you, wanting to destroy the leg o. And you need to bring up the female percentage and just be a decent human being. But dont females want to destroy the lego . I dont, actually, i respect it. I try to give it attention. I drop something in front of it. So i leave. But doesnt it Say Something about a parents inability to control their children . I go to the museum now, the kids go up and touch the picture, the kids dont do anything. I think parents need to introduce the fact that this is an art museum, where this is an exhibition, if you start to educate your children young about it, then you wouldnt run into these problems. How is your boy . How does he do at the museum . Listen, i take him to all the art museums and he is very respectful. He doesnt touch anything. He looks at it. Because i tell him, its all parenting. As i parent i say you cant touch anything. You have to respect it. Only steal that one. Im sure this was your son trying to get the playstation 4 game behind this lego piece. I wish we had a video of how my son is, because he is literally the most angelic little boy, i agree that most boys yours is the only boy on earth who doesnt break anything, or drop anything i swear, he is not physical. Im just glad this happened in china, where they always have misbehaving kids. See stay there, dont go no where, cheeseburgers and hot kogs, dont go because i will show you what i will do with this young guy here. Ali, i got a lot of spode and endurance. This is Geraldo Rivera reporting and he was the greatest and tonight the world mourns the heavy weight champion that was the best fighter of his generation. It is sad to see someone so great and magnificent. He stood