She is hotter than a corn dog and just as fried. I am here with joanne nosuchunsky. Keep waiving. He is so rich his chauffeur has a chauffeur and that chauffeur has a fab bra shea egg. He is also author of border war an excellent Christmas Gift for your angry uncle. And he is cooler than a week old corn dog and just as delicious. It is tvs andy levey and again wearing a terrible sweater. And his wit is so sharp he lent it to the chefs at benihana. Journalist and writer, legend pj pj hj orourke. It is an excellent kwanza gift. A block. The lede. Thats the firs story. Happy kwanza. America is a disgrace, he said with a straight face. Irans Supreme Leader is calling out the u. S. For our record on human rights. He would know, after all. After the report on cia tactic is was released ayatollah caw mean knee went on a rant. Even american ppl and i think that is short for people, are faced with cruelty torture report which is misspelled human rights day. And for everybody ferguson. And also he wrote this. Any noble man would feel the sweat of shame about gitmo than u. S. Press order is shameful. Torture report human rights day, blah, blah, blah. Irans president de denounced the u. S. In a press conference. Lets look at that. We say it is disgusting, but there is something arousing about that. There is a specific talent that animal has that will pray vent it from that will prevent it from being killed. We wont say what it is. Does this sting coming from iran saying that we are violators of human rights . Great talk with a retired fbi agent who did a lot of interrogation. When this all first started happening i said you know why this and that and the other thing with the sleep deprivation. Does that get good information . He said no. The way you can get good information is pretending to be their friend. But water board them anyway. Hang them up there and never let them sleep. I wish they water boarded a bunch of them. Thats my opinion. Isnt it . Even if it is not helpful, do it anyway because they deserve it . Thisy are bad people. What do you think of the center report in general . I think it is a bad word and worse word and word after that. Come on, man, does nobody remember 9 11 . And then the anthrax letters and then there was a sniper running ready a. Running around. There was the tv show the oc that was pretty bad too. It was a rough fall. Did we overreact . A little bit. Who wouldnt . I have two teenage dearls daughters and a bunch of shotguns. I can really understand the cias response. Thats a good metaphor, lou. When you have a threat this big, you are going to make a few mistakes, correct . Are they within the margin of error that is acceptable . Well, certainly to me. I am trying to recover really because i equated the ayatollah and the dahl looy llama and his and the dalai lama. The dalai lama will weigh in next. I think the feinstein report, if i may call it that, thedemocratic staff report that took place did not really produce much. And i dont think the cia gives a damn what they got to say. And dick cheney is on the air waves defending america and good for him. I think he will settle it all. I dont know if that is dick cheney. That can be one of five dick cheneys according to my theory that there are five of them. Four are robotic and one is actually like i said, it was a tough fall. We have to clone him. We should have cloned will cheneys. They are never wrong. Never wrong and they did a lot of right. I know it is unpopular to support the former vice president. I think he is a man of principal and guts and did he make a mistake . Im sure he did. I just dont know what it was. I think he got most of the narrative exactly right. He may be darth vader, but he is our darth vader. Andy, defend your hero the ayatollah. It doesnt surprise me he spoke up like this. He has been a tire less, social Justice Warrior and speaking truth to power for many, many years. It hurt him politically, but he doesnt care. He himself says i cant breathe. Exactly, exactly. Greg, you said when you said his name you said who cares . He is not watching. He is a big fan. He loves teen corner. I had no idea. Will not shut up about teen corner. I am changing my mind. Jay he always wants to know, those letters greg reads from the teens, are they real . I said yes. Then he said why doesnt greg read my letter easy send. I cant read is it farsi . Yes. I cant believe i got that right. That would be the only question i got right on jeopardy. What is farsi, alex . Excellent, greg. You dated the ayatollah in the 90s. When he sees america getville fight by the media he jumps in. This message is really to me. Im sorry i broke your heart. I am wait forget more countries to come forward and actually say the u. S. Is so dumb. Why are you releasing this report . I live by the statement, if it does not help you, it hurts you. You have to ask this, you have to ask that question with the release of the torture report. The practices are not done anymore. They arent. No one is being indicted for it. What is the point. Does it help . No, it can only hurt. Who was this intended for . Was it for the people who already hate us . I think it was for the media to clubbing. Cluck. Jay i think the New York Times was a specific target. Oh and that worked. You hit that dead center. And everything that was not devoted to a 10 million bengal in the newspaper was devoted to this. I did not read that paper. You are working on the bengal. I think the report was released to let the government know what we are doing in our name. If you care what the co may knee said, which you shouldnt. If you care what he said you should not be angry about the release of the report. You should be angry we did the stuff in the report. It is in the past. Thats not happening anymore. What is the point of bringing up the past . Would you forgive me if i was still angry about killing 3,000 americans on september 11th . I found that annoying. I havent gotten over that. Why do you keep carrying that bag . The therapist says it is wrong. Jay i hire people to carry my bag. I think we did here people to carry our baggage on that one. They did a pretty good job. Is there anything we that we cant do after 9 11 . If we nuked saudi arabia would that have been okay . Good question. Would i still be alive . Nothing matters. It was tempting. You put us on the horns of an ethical massive dilemma. I am going to think. And then lets move on to this other story. Will he sue . A Harvard BusinessSchool Professor has apologized for harassing a Chinese Restaurant and threatening legal action after they accidentally overcharged him 4 bucks. He noticed that each of the four items he ordered from takeout from szechwan garden is more than listed on the website. After emailing the familyrun joint he was told the web prices were outdated and that they would ray fund him the 4 with their apologies. But that was not good enough for ben who wrote back, quote, under Massachusetts Law it turns out to be a serious violation to advertise one price and then charge another price. I suggest you refund me three times the amount of the overcharge. He continued to harass the restaurant with other stupid emails, but after a flood of bad publicity he apologized writing, it is clear i was out of line. I aspire to act with respect and humility in dealing with others no matter what the situation. Clearly i failed to do so. So what it like to do have the entire internet against you . That is one of the most amazing things. We have seen that before. I have never seen that before. I have. What are you googling . Usually broadway musicals. Yes, and you end updating the wrong stars. That was also the wrong part of the body. Clearly not british, if you know what i many. Lou . Hi, greg. How are you . How is the harvard man. Are you a harvard man . Yes, i am. He wouldnt have apologized, would he, if he was not exposed on the internet . The internet is a hero much like yourself. I see a great comparative value in what you say. A ubiquitous, powerful, democratic. I think you are exactly right. The internet in this case was a tool of justice. It was a powerful tool of justice. The harvard professor no justice, no peace. Exactly. And i think there is it is interesting is the quality of the food that was actually in the transaction. He said the food was excellent. It is stunning that is what i miss in the report. You didnt read this, did you . I didnt. But i will now, i promise. Explain the rational economic behavior involved here. The professor is what we call a [bleep]. Some of us didnt make it out of econ101. If you cannot use those terms that would be great. Perhaps cubed. I think thats about as lofty as i will get. It was a kinsian. Well done, greg. I didnt know i had that joke in me. Pj, should he have apologized . He was relentless with this guy. Have i a theory that lawyers are like thats their version of water boarding. They know Legal Expertise so they can pound you he is in the water. He is a associate business professor. Jay he he has a law degree. Was the lawyer [bleep] coming out or the economic [bleep] . I think it was the lawyer [bleep n pr. Imagine if are you playing monopoly. They know the rules and you dont. You sit there and they screw with you over and over. My daughter, elizabeth, has got this thing nailed. I am blowing up about the house being a mess. I said you kids, i want you to put things back where they came from, and shea says it came from the floor. That is pretty good. She has a career. Thats a great name for a horror movie. It came from the floor. Especially in her room. It is like the new return to horror. Or like yore like your home movie it ended up on the floor. It had to be scraped from the floor. Or we tore the carpet out. Dump it in the river. Do you buy the uh poll scwee . Would you dsh dash apology . Would you date him . Thats a lot of questions. I wouldnt date him. I would want him to be my divorce attorney. That would be great. I would be a richer man today. I think the apology is sincere because i doubt he apologizes often. I do think he is crabby because there was no fiber in that order. He is a little uptight. There was a lot of protein and adlot of spice, so he is uncomfortable. I am all about good business, and i love when restaurants will honor the request of the customer. If i were the owner of this place i would have refunded him 4 and then given him a gift card for his next purchase. People love free food. And then they never use the gift card. It is a winwin. There was a joke to follow there. We are a progressive show. Andy, go ahead and defend score hero. Well, they are very similar. In addition to the internet pressuring him i think you need to straighten this mess out. I think thats one of the things , this is not it is easy he does sound sincere. It was well written. It sounded sincere. But the emails, he said these were not drunken and angry emails. It is not like yours. This is a series of reasoned emails citing specific siting specific massachusetts statute outs. He was water boarding with law. I think the great thing about it is he kept everything in proportion. That was the marvelous part. Is it possible he is right . If the website was outdated for awhile, that means people have been ordering food and getting charged more than they thought they were. Maybe he uncovered a criminal. That was his point it. The reason they need to pay him 12 instead of 4 is because they to dissuade them from punitive damages. People dont tip on chinese food. They needed extra cash. They are justified. Can you cite an economic study . It came frommed del from edelburg and jones. Jones totally dropped the ball. What was the name of the journal . The journal of science. The journal of science and stuff. We wont refer to that. It is also maybe a case of he strikes me as an early rising type. My wife has a theory that the rules are made up by people who wake up early in the morning. By the time we wake up, the rules are in place. The early bird against the mushu. It probably would have been better if it rhymed with worm, but i cooperate think of a chinese menu item that rhymes with worm. I think i have actually had worms. I have gotten worms. I think i have them right now with traveling abroad. Basically i am in pain. Coming up, lou dobbs explains why he likes to garden with 100 bills. And why did a High School Student give his teacher a pot bron knee . Thats brownie. Thats better than hepititis, i think, maybe. Name to use, other words. Is she sending an email to students with the subject line all lives matter. It wasment to help heal the pain in the wake of the Michael Brown and garner grand jury ruling. Instead fed calm d of calming students from the outrage you always get from students, one tweeted, no, kathy, dont send out an email saying all lives matter. This is mott about everyone. This is about black lives. It is the antiblackness of the current situation. Not all lives are being targeted for police brutality. Six hours later and mccartney sent a second email apologizing to the student and thanking them for their wisdom and wise counsel. No one was more shocked that she caved. Pj, if saying all lives matter it implies that black lives dont then saying black lives matter implies that white lives dont, correct . A couple of things here. At smith, all lives dont matter . It is a a historically black college. It is like the howard of the north. By the way, isnt it an all Womens College . I think they i dont know. Lou, apologize orie or resign. I think she should resign. She is insensitive, insensitive i say and repeat it if i must. And you do. I find myself compelled to suggest in the spirit of the response of the student body we simply pray are to the student of the school and hope that she finds another iteration in her progress toward consciousness. I think the next step would be to understand that she was right in the firs sense since all lives do matter. And to get away from the victim hood of our of our contemporary Political Society and suggest that she not be a victim. She still retains volition and an institution of higher education. I should seek Higher Consciousness for the fact that she is capable of being right and better educated than she thought and more sensitive than she believed and lacks only one thing and that is guts and principal to pursue the right thing. Well put. Those were two things. I just want to point that out. I apologize. We can go back and edit that out and i can put in two. Only one thing matters. What . That was the joke. That was pretty good, joanne. Thank you. Joanne, now that you are talking, you were offended by the phrase all lives matter because you hate poor people. Do you still feel that way . Yes. I see nothing wrong with what she said. She was trying torques like you said, rise above and make a statement about equality. The people who are crits saying what she said, i get their point. I do. Pageant answer, i understand. Their response being they are right. You dont get it further isolates the group they are trying to reach. So it is not beneficial. All lives dont matter. Now we are getting technical. We have to make a list now. I do think we can break this down further. I am curious about one thing. If you are a University President , wouldnt you look down your nose at the student body. They are younger and uneducated and impulse sigh and brash. Why couldnt you do that . Because they are giving you all their money, maybe . You know what she feared . She feared the twitter arm me and she feared the facebook army. She felt the heat. He saw she had over responded to slight miss charge by the Chinese Restaurant. He didnt want to be another edelman. Was that his name . I cant remember it sounded like edelman. What does that mean . It was a jab at you. I am interested in knowing your thoughts. A lie. Thank you for saying that even though it is not true. Like jonah i get this to a certain extent. Black lives matter is a rallying cry with a specific meaning. All lives matter is a counter cry with a specific meaning. What she did was substituting History Month for black History Month. There is a specific reason we have a black History Month and why black lives matter is being said by protesters. She said right now and she meant to say right on. That said this was clearly an honest mistake by the school president. She probably didnt she said she didnt know all lives matters is a counter phrase. Probably because she spends all day on social media. She doesnt deserve to hear one student said it felt like see was invalidating the experiences of black lives. She doesnt deserve to hear that. One thing, i agree with lou, and the problem comes from evaluating the problem of College Students. As a former College Student that needs to stop. We all agree on that. The every other issue is this is a good example as to why women shouldnt be College President s. People are afraid to say that in this pc world. You are giving the v neck sweater look a bad name. You are saying there hospital be Women College president s . No. It is bad enough they go to college. You want to know what you are . If it is a cooking school, all right, fine, i get it. Not a real school. I would love to learn a trade. Good for you. All right. We have pretty much destroyed that topic. Coming up, would you take a College Course on orange is the new black . Or save your money and go to jail. First a word from our sponsor. Tonights sponsor is salt and pepper. Salt and pepper are the perfect pair. Salt and pepper are so good, most of the world was discovered in an attempt to find it. Take that old bay. Thanks salt and pepper. Everybody hates you. Hot for teacher . More like pot for teacher. A maryland teen is in big trouble after he gave part of a pot brownie to his teacher who later fell ill and was hospitalized. That must have been great stuff. Thats why i stay away from it. The unnamed 17yearold admitted to sharing the marijuanalaced treat, but it wasnt a prank. When the teacher asked for a piece he got scared and panicked and it didnt contain marijuana. She remember getting sick and feeling disoriented. He has been cited for assault and reckless endangerment. As a roll model for teens i would like to take a minute to talk about drugs in a segment we call welcome to teen corner. I am your hot host, greg gutfeld or as teens like to call me, double g sauce. Before i start rapping to teens. I sent you the discarded socks. Adam it was discarded socks and used swim trunks that i requested. The deal is null and void. You got it wrong. These teens dont listen these days. As gorgeous as they are, they are worthless. Isnt it the teachers fault for asking part of the brownie . This kid should not be punished. How far we have come from the world of john hughes movies when this would have been funny. Where did americas sense of humor go . And what is with her . You dont belong in the game. You are telling me you cant teach at high school stoned . You can go to high school stoned so you can Teach High School stoned. You spent the entire decade of the 70s high. Yes, and a large part of the 60s. I wasnt actually high in high school. We couldnt find any. We would date fat girls to get their dye qet pills. To get their diet pills. Well there is a secret. Kids, dont take drugs. Bring them up here and give them to me. It is easy now. Because it is so easy, it is not fun. Should he be punished for this . I dont think so. Mistakes happen. He is a child. She was an adult looking at a 16yearold boy and a brownie. You think, well thats a perfect match. Why would i be suspicious of a teacher the last thing i would cross my mind is that thing has pot in it. By the way, if you are a teacher, eat before you come to work. And good counsel as well for the 16yearold fella or 17yearold. We dont know if the story is real. I have written down this may be a hoax. In the New York Times, it is like they were hoaxed by the whole torture report from the democrats as far as i could tell. I am worried she got sick from the brownie. She went to the hospital . Just give her a bag of dorritos. You know what this actually it is a good point and i will go to you, andy. These edibles are incredibly hard to figure out what you are taking in terms of amounts. Whats her face from the times points out, eat a brownies freak out. I agree. This is all on her. She asked for a piece of the brownie. You cant ask for a piece of the students brownie. There is a power imbalance there. The thing is, she wanted to be the cool teacher who thinks the students are her friends, but the students are her friends. By the way, now instead of being the cool teacher who is down with the kids she is the whack teacher who cant handle her weed or whatever they are using these days. She was trying to be cool and it backfired. We so we hospital have female teachers you sexist pig . I am okay. She was using pay tree, aal patriarcal privilege. You never eat solid food so this is not a problem. You know who i blame . Who . Michelle obama. There are no more brown knees in school and kids have to bring their own. And because women are working they have to make their own brownies. And no dorritos. Also this is a good argument for illegal liesing marijuana. I wish i believed in this. It is a good argument. The kid wouldnt be so secretive about it. Listen, this is actually an edible. I know i hospital be having this in the school right i shouldnt be having this in the school right now, but it is legal. Not at 17. I think the governor of maryland may want to shutdown the schools and training for the teachers based on this incident. There has to be great trauma. I am suffering from terciary trauma. I feel other people have been traumatized. It is like third hand smoke, but it is third hand trauma. I dont like this whole pot in edible things. I never lake liquor in candy. When people give you people give you a gift of liquor and candy thats an argument. You heard this before . A few times. It is in the as dumb as nuts in brownies. You with the nuts. I dont like bananas on splits of the i dont like that. Are you one of the kids that foods couldnt touch . Exactly. I was a segregationist. They were all equal. True. It just doesnt look smoking dope looks cool, right . Stuff your face with brownies. I think it is a measurement thing. The food thing is making it impossible to figure out what you are doing of you have to figure it out. It is hard enough. This stuff is we were smoking 50 toke Mexican Ditch weed. 50toke are you high yet . It took 50 to get high. The last time i smoked pot i took one hit and i had to go to bed for the rest of the day. It is like, whoa. Not good. It is crazy. This stuff is crazy. I dont go near it. Ds today . We are all old. Up next, person of the year. Not cool order it. c did taylor swift get short tripped . On wednesday, a day of the week, Time Magazine announced its person of the year and yet again mario lopez was snubbed. He is americas angel. We should just end the show right now. The honor went to people fighting ebola in west africa. Buying the world time to strengthen its defenses and the lives they saved. Runner up is vladimir putin, taylor swift and the Ferguson Protesters. In a first time named the quirgy of the year. That is beautiful. Thats inspiring. Dogs dont invent anything. Lets just admit they are there because they are cute. They dont do anything else. I have hunting dogs. Well, the opt hing they help me kill things. Thats good. I am with their choice. These doctors are brave. Bad thing about ebola, it kills the people that care for you. It doesnt get anybody else, just the people who care for you. It makes it impossible to care for anybody. Is there anybody else on the list that they felt should have been there. First a shout qowt to chris buckleys wife who is a doctor and in liberia right now and wearing that mask. I am thinking the alternatives they have. I mean, this is a deep think over at time. Mackenzie must be involved in this. Ebola worker, taylor swift, Ferguson Protesters, what was the third . Putin. Oh, man of the year, oh yeah. Because he has changed the face of history, you know . He looks good shirtless on a siberian tiger. By russian standards, yes. He could make you last. Laugh. Lou, i dont know where this is go, what about the other choices than putin, ferguson and time is running out. They played for a block on news week and overpaid. It is all well and good for time to do this, but i think it is i just want to throw out a crazy idea. How about all of the Law Enforcement officers of the country who deserve a little recognition for the way they handled themselves and dealing with demonstrations demonstrations and protests. They are a thankless job. They are the guy on the tightrope that only watch if you fall. And the president carrying on a full on assault against Law Enforcement. It is amazing. It is a total no wean situation. I lived in no win situation. I lived in new york in the 70s when you were so glad to see a cop. It was around . Oh you are still alive and you live there in the 70s. It was just york. Thats where they made the peppermint patty. You cant hate the peppermint patty. You dont like mint . There goes your christmas present. Andy, talk quickly. I would like to address a couple things. Earlier i predicted the Ferguson Protesters would win because it would make the time editors good. Clearly i was mistaken that anything could make Time Magazine feel good about themselves. They were so close they had an alternate cover ready to go. Can we put that up . I was nominated for the time counseling teens. And you counsel so many. I work with college cheerleaders. They say it is an honor to be nominated and thats obviously to the why i do it. Credit to twitter user at 5 fan ps for making that. Last word to you. This is not a great honor. You are just one of many if you win. It was right to pick the ebola fighters. We should give them something a little more. 3 we can all remember when dr. Kent brantly fell ill. The best reward for his hard work to be to take him back in open arms and treat him with the best medicine in the world and a lot of people didnt want him here. Thats true. Good point. Have we forgotten about that . Now we remember. I would have brought that up, but i didnt. I dont remember saying thank you. Coming up, why the government hates cookie dough. It is a Ground Breaking story that chef didnt want to cover. Will that be all, sir . Thank you. Ordering chinese food is a very predictable experience. I order b14. I get b14. No surprises. Buying business internet, on the other hand, can be a roller coaster White Knuckle thrill ride. Youre promised one speed. But do you consistently get it . You do with comcast business. And often even more. Its reliable. Just like kung pao fish. Thank you, ping. Reliably fast internet starts at 89. 95 a month. Comcast business. Built for business. Last story. Thats the last story. Thats a terrible story. T. J. , you have an article in the new issue of aarp. And age appropriate. Do do you feel old . I am trying to the last in the baby boomers turned 50 this year. Thats me. I turned 50 in september. You are still a baby boomer. No offense to you, but they are weird. Obama missed the whole 60s thing. He is such a creature. He was he wasnt there to see any of it. Now it is like vietnam and they make cheap shirts. Marlin Martin Luther king and a day off of work. All of this stuff they just missed. We went out the magazine went out and found some last baby boomers and talked to them and left me as puzzled as i was, but we had fun. Was it dak dangerous to get out there and track the baby boomers . How close did you get to them . One tweet away, greg. You can email me back here by the public library. I was only one tweet away. People dont do proper journalism. They dont have to, do they . No, you can look it up in science. How did you track down these 50yearold baby boomers . We tried several experiments like that. It was the fleet Fleetwood Mac reunion tour. Slightly older. The eagles are actually more popular than the eagles. We are trying to get people at the 11 30 what did you call the book . The baby boom. How it got that way and it wasnt my fault and i will never do it again. No, the article is separate from the book. I am glad i did my research. I am quite the well pre you are pad talk show host. They get the story 10 minutes before the show. And then they dont read them. Is that aimed at me . No. We are just making this stuff up, folks. You never know. We have to go. Special thanks to joanne nosuchunsky. Oh yeah, smile. Tvs andy levey. The great lou dobbs. They are not booing him, they are louing him. That does it for me. Im greg gutfeld. See you next time. Happy. In love. And saving so much money on their Car Insurance by switching to geico. Well, just look at this setting. Do you have the ring . Oh, helzberg diamonds. Another beautiful setting. Im not crying. Ive just got a bit of sand in my eyes, thats all. Geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance. To spell them out. Theyre just a couple of pages, but theyre dandies. Im greg, along with greg, bob, and dana and kimberly. This is the five. You know why i hate enhanced interrogation . Its not who we are. Thats not who we are. Thats not who we are. Thats not who we are. Thats not who we are. Thats not who we are. Thats not who we are. Thats not who we are. Thats not who we are, which makes me wonder, who the hell