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I ruined that one. Look at this lovely author, columnist on noon webbing days. You cant spell johnnys funky anus with joanne nosuchunsky. It is joanne nosuchunsky. And he has a hot date this weekend. I am kidding, of course. It is andy loo levey. It is more like a hot plate rather than a hot date. And she is hot and funny like the time i left daabs stranded in the desert. Sitting next to me, writer and comedian, bonnie mcfarland. Just be yourself. A block. The lede. Thats the first story. Was the ad kind of sad . A new ad from the College Republican National Committee has been criticized for speaking down to women. It is the subject of tonights is this sexist . I had to add the question mark there. Says it was off three months ago and it came back. Not enough light over there. Maybe i will put it over there or maybe over here. Oh boy. You need to pull it back. The ad, part of a Million Dollar campaign to support republican candidates. It is a parody of a tlc reality show. I believe it is american chopper. Take a looky. Budget is a big deal for me now that i graduated from college. The rick scott is perfect. Rick scott is becoming a trusted brand. He has new ideas that dont break your budget. But mom has other ideas. I like the Charlie Chris. It is expensive and a little outdated, but i know better. Dont forget the Charlie Chris has with additional costs. There is over 2 billion in taxes, 3. 6 billion in debt and 15 tuition increases. But i will be paying this off for the rest of my life. We cannot let her walk out of the booth like that. Mom, this is my decision. Genius. Liberals called it sexis it, stupid and demeaning. But they said is it worse than dunhams ad for obama which lefties love. The first time shouldnt be with anybody. You want to do it with a great guy. My first time voting was amazing. It was a line in the sand. Before i was a girl and now i am a woman. I went to the polling station and pulled back the curtain. I voted for barack obama. Speaking of special moments. He is going on tour with slayer. I want to go to the womens expert at the table. Andy, do you feel this ad is sexist and demeaning to women, or is it having fun with a metaphor . Cant it be both . No, it cant. In that case, i oddly dont think it is sexist. It is a spoof of that yes to the dress show on tlc, a fantastic show i might add. There is nothing in the ad that suggests women are being talked down to and there is nothing that suggests the ad is saying the only way women can understand politics is by comparing politicians to Wedding Dresses. If your critique of the ad is, quote, for young Women Political decisions are like dating, without even mentioning the message that dunham had which is for young women voting is like sex you are a hipocrite and a half. I dont think it is a great ad. It is cheesy, but you can say it is purposefully cheesy. I say that about our show. Much like our show it is light lighthearted enough it doesnt deserve to be called sexist. Very good. Were you offended or like me, be mused . I didnt like the way they were making fun of my favorite show. Say yes to the dress. I love it with the red wine. You know i am a feminist and i am a vocal feminist. You are. I have been called a femi nf nazi. I dont even care. I love women. I hate jews. For me it works. My husband is jewish so that is where the hatred started. All right. Jedediah, like andy you are a woman. What did you think of this ad . I like that they acknowledge pop culture which is something republicans often dont do. What i dont like is that the ad is cor knee and it doesnt address any issues. In that ad if i was looking to vote for rick scott i would have no idea why. The difference with the dunham ad she talked about issues. She talked about Health Insurance and gay marriage and birth control. She brings up stuff that if you are a young person, a young woman and sitting at home, you hear these key words and say this is my candidate. I think they need to make it a little more edgy. Go with humor. Young people like humor. Young people like humor. You heard it here first, folks. Let bonnie write the ad. Make it edgy and make it fun. I hear they also like rock music. I i have i have a bit of a problem. Dont play them backwards. If they start dancing. I have the 12inch ruler. It allows me to sneak in between them. Joanne i thought you liked tiny king. Thats a pizza shop. Is this what you have to do to get the attention of Younger Voters . Yeah. I didnt realize i was done with the question. I dont think the viewers will find this sexist. I dont think us mill 11 yalls mill 11 yells will put two and two together like that. It is corny, but it is honest. The thing though, it is not the first one that matters. The first is getting your feet wet and it is the second one. They need to recognize that the say yes to the dress show is going on. The millenials i watch it. So like house hunters the first house has a shaky foundation. The second house is a money pit. The third house is an Income Property and will help you invest in your future. Right . You are welcome. You can take it. Well done. I think it is not sexist. It was purely a metaphor. They could have done it with automobiles, cell phones or houses and they chose Wedding Dresses. It is cheap they are being attacked for the choice of the metaphor and not the content and quality of the ad which they could have been critical. If you think it is so awful, then why disa feel so why do you feel so threatened by it . Yeah, bonnie. When i was Wedding Dress shopping i was pregnant. I liked the second dress. I dont know who that was supposed to be. Republicans are clumsy with humor the same way democrats are clumsy with money and guns. Right . Yes, you nailed it. I think that will be on a tshirt soon. Cafe press. Could a band on your wrist help you resist . Pavloc monitors your behavior and gives you electric shocks to get you to quick bad habits. When you buy it you download an app and what habits you want to do like eating bad food or smoking or sitting still too long or watching glee. Check it out, out checkers. If you wanted to transform yourself how would you start . First identify the habits that hold you back and pair them with a stimulus like a electric shock. Each voltage weakens the neuro connection until the bad habit is severed. Pavloc helps you build good habits and break bad ones. Earn rewards when you succeed and pay the price when you fail. Experience the electric shock that keeps you on track. He says the idea came to him after he hired a girl to slap him in the face when he used facebook. Yeah, that was the reason i used. He says it increases productivity by 400 . Maybe it was because he was not productive. And it lead him to the wearable device that uses pain to modify peoples behavior. Already pavlock is getting uh attention. If you want to change yourself. First, identify the habits that hold you back. Pair them with a negative stimulus like electric shock. Each surge of voltage weakens your brain and neuro connection until the bad habit is severed. He committed suicide shortly after. The fat shaming is terrible. Is this a good idea, the shock bracelet . I am glad they came up with this. It is hard for me because my bad habit is hurting myself. Every time i want to hurt myself i hurt myself. What you need is another bracelet that when you want the shock to come it might tickle you. Yes. It gives uh nice stroke of kindness. You hate to be treated well. I dont like it at all. I actually dont even know if i would feel im, you know, im tortured all the time. I dont know if it would override that. Well thats something we can discuss in the break. We can bring in a doctor or priest. Jedediah, do you think this will be a success . I hate it. I feel like it treats us like babies. Now i need a bracelet to tell me when i am doing something bad . How about you sit and evaluate your behavior and dont do it. Why cant adults be adults . I thought this was a joke. Maybe use oxycontin. Somebody has never huffed glue. Dont knock quitting until you have tried starting it. That does president make sense. That doesnt make sense. I a feeling you will use this. Joanne gnaw joanne gnaw . Your name is joanne. I should be shocked for that. Every time i call you joanna i should be shocked. I am all for it. Would you use this to remind you to drink and not to drink . I dont need a reminder to drink. I have a cheaper option though. A rubberband. I used to use it when i was little. My dad told me to. In class i would not raise my hand. I would call out. My dad every time you want to call out you pull on it so you get the sting of the rubberband. I just put it in my hair so i never got hurt. It was a good idea. It is the same thing. Then the onus is on you. Analyze your own behavior. You know what you are interruptiing and maybe you should have done that and you wouldnt be on this show. I just dont talk anymore. Would this work for your bad behaviors . I know you have many. It is a shocking story, greg. Thats when you should be shocked. Absolutely, absolutely. I actually think i dont think it is a bad idea. The thing i dont get though is this guy who hired the girl to slap him. Now he invented something that shocks you. If you give 1250 to the indy go go campaign to raise money for it, your reward is you get to slap him. I think he just enjoys pain. It is a slap fetish. A slap fetish and shock fetish. The pavlock is the size of a quarter and has a wrist thing you can use. It comes with a tape that you can put anywhere on your body. This is my point. And it has a vibrate mode. I am not really sure what the actual use is for. This is my point before we move on. Something like this only works if you cannot control it or access it. If it is something that is on you and you can turn it off so it has to be internal. You have to take it and shove it up your butt. That way when you do something and it shocks you, there is nothing you can do about it. I have been testing this very invention for the last five years. I can tell you it works like a charm. See, i said charm again. Since you have been texting that, your behavior has gotten worse. They actually do say though if you take it off to avoid being shocked if you dont want to go to the gym or Something Like that, there is some kind of you lose money. I dont know if you have to hookup a bank account to the app or something and then it charges you a money penalty. This guy is great. He is using your own lack of will power to make himself rich. Thats exactly what he is doing. He is genius. Salute him. We will have to bleep that. Bleep that part. Should you hookup or drink up . A new app allows people to explicitly consent to sex and log their level of drunkenness with the aim of reducing Sexual Assault which is a good thing. Before hoping into bed you open the good to go app i hate that word and hand the phone to your partner who chooses from three Sexual Consent options, one being no and two is yes, but we need to talk and three is im good to go. Here is the app explained in cartoon form. If the partner chooses im good to go, then they also assess the sobriety level. There are four choices. Sober. Mildly intoxicated. Intoxicated, but good to go and pretty wasted. If the partner chooses im good to go and an acceptable sobriety level, the partner needs to confirm their identity. They point out that there is an electronic record of everyone you slept with and it does not record when people change their minds. Thats been an issue. Speaking of fore play. What is happening . I dont know. All i know is risque marriage and now that. If you are too drunk to give consent how can you be expected to use your phone properly . I like if this were for drunk driving the drunk driver would go i can still drive. And drunk people are always honest. I want to know who in the heat of the moment you cant even get young people oftentimes in the heat of the moment, and older people, to use a condom, to use protection. They feel that takes the adventure out of it. Now we will have people in the heat of the moment sweaty, involved, they will stop and be like, yes, yes, yes, no. And then type this all out . You are starting to yeah. Im married. I had to hear about it. Bonnie, you know, youshouldnd advertisement for marriage. Why . Is this a good idea . Well i have to of course go back to my sexual encounters. Go way back before i was married. And i think i remember what i liked about sex. It was being too drunk to take responsibility. I was too drunk. I didnt know. He said yes on the app. I have an i feel like every time when i was young alcohol was involved. Thats what you did when you are on a date. From a guys perspective you drank. Or when you went out to dinner you drank. So drinking was something you did. It wasnt something that was somehow evil. I know what this is for though. This is about what is happening on campuses. I dont think it is an actual solution. I think it is a fake solution. Then you worry about shaming, right . How many people have you been with . It is just going to open up a whole can of worms. I have a cheaper alternative called a sober best friend. You take this person to a party with you. They are also your dd, your designated driver which is awesome. You are like i am going sleep with this person. And then your friend goes, no youre not, honey, no, youre not. And then you say shut up yes i am. She says i have pizza at home and you say okay i will go with with you. Pizza trumps that. Andy, thoughts . I didnt want to shame sabarro. In a seminar i get to the i call it dont use this app before you sit on his lap. It is not a good idea. It is worse than pointless. You brought up the privacy concern. It stores the number of everyone you use it with. That can be subpoenaed. It can even be used again. You have 30 seconds. The only thing is there is an easier solution. I carry contracts around with me. I have a note re. I have them within 50 feet of where i am. He can stamp it and then it is fine. The beautiful part is you go home with the note re. It took like three years to realize. And it will be fun. It is called a note re. We have to take a break. Again to the end. They were toast after his boast. Two louisiana teachers were arrested for having sex with a male student after he started bragging about it at school. His english teacher last year did i pronounce it wrong . Rachel rexpest his current teacher were charged with carnal knowledge of a juvenile and contribute together delinquency of a juvenile. They were together in the early hours of september 13th. I live a sheltered life. Thats the day after my birthday. At one of the teachers homes is where they hooked up. No matter what sex the victim is everybody should be outraged. This is the only threesome i am interested in. Stay in it. You ruined the picture. They had these teachers arrested and it was clearly the student that was bragging about it. Usually victims of crime dont brag about it. I dont like to who among us has not had sex with a teacher . Me neither. I dated a teacher for a longtime. I was in college though. It was acceptable. I dont know i think i will start market cking the inflatable middle schooler and then i will cash in on that. I will take you to shark tank, you guys. I was justented to hear your business plan. We could sell a lot of it on the Home Shopping network. Does it matter that the vehicle tim was male and that he was bragging about it . Is it the same as if he was a female . If the teachers were male people would be sick and outraged. I think people think it is cute and funny when the teachers are female. We have been debating him a bunch of times. It is different for boys and girls. I keep saying it is a minor. Not in all areas. They are children. What is wrong with you if you are in your 30s and you see a 16yearold. Their brains are not even developed yet. They are not looking at the brain. They are not a 22yearold. They are not looking at the brain. But they look like babies. 16 . One teacher was in her mid20s . She was young. The difference between her age and the students age is narrower than most peoples marriages. Still not okay. I am trying to create a conversation, a dialogue. I dont want everybody to agree, joanne. Should the punishment be less harsh if it was male teachers and female students . You know who should receive the punishment . Who . The media. Mostly i think television. They are glorifying threesomes and teacherstudent relationships. Hot for teacher. We need our kids. What happened to loving the teeny boppers. Now it is because miley cyrus is off the rails and justin bieber, no one wants to touch him. Now they have to resort to their teachers . Sick world. It was a math lesson and now add one more. Is it possible for a 16yearold boy not to brag about this . These women are going to jail for being dumb enough to brag about having a threesome and they shouldnt be teaching anybody. Louisiana has complicated consent laws. Believe me, i know. But it is felony carnal knowledge of a juvenile if you are 19 and older and you have sex with consent with somebody between the ages of 12 and 16. So basically they should just have waited a year. When he was 17, they would have been fine. But maybe they were like they just couldnt wait. You want them to wait a year. In Obamas America where everybody wants everything now and they dont want to plan for the future. Until the president is impeached it will happen again and again and again. It is probably happening right now. Probably is. If they really wanted a threesome, they could have gone to any man in america. Why did they have to go to they are not unattractive. They dont have to go looking for like the producer, put the pictures back up to back up gregs point. Our viewers have good memories. They can picture them in their heads. I forgot what i was going to say. Producers, what was i talking about . I was going to reiterate what joanne said. They can find an eligible male. Maybe because it is boring to them. Why is it women though . When you see these stories it is female teachers. It is nine out of 10 times. There is one in new york, a guy in new york being arrested. Is there no male pedophiles . When it is teachers i am always reading about female teachers. Thats selection bias of the media. Thats because it is so interesting. And we want to read about the women because it is titilating. There are definitely more men. Teachers . In school . One teacher, but many, many men. All right, coming up Charlie Sheen whips it out at the dentist. First, a word from our sponsor. Tonights sponsor is pork. It is meaty, it is tasty, and you never have to pick up the tab. A never ending buffet of never needed programming. Wasted never tasted so good. Pork, its whats for government. He did more than mown moan about a drone. It was taking aerial photos of another house where construction work was being done. He is like a peeping something. I know he is taking pictures. I know. Weird. They heard gunfire and lost control of his machine. He saw bullet holes and called the cops. He was charged with possession of a weapon for unlawful purpose, criminal mischief and saving the human race from the rise of the robots. You know who else doesnt like the Unmanned Aircraft . I think we can all agree that was well worth watching at length. Bonnie, is this the future, neighbors shooting down each other drones . You should be able to shoot down a drone if it comes over your property. How high . Four miles. Yes, you should be able to shoot down drones. You are so intellectual. I dont know much but i know a lot about airspace. Four miles means you can shoot down commercial aircrafts. Good for you. Not everyone has the degree of selfcontrol you have. I will look up and go, i could. I could but i wont. Jedediah, we can do the same thing. I get it. I get it. I feel like they spy. I hate these drones. I am not att all. I could be naked in my apartment and there could be a little spy drone. I am trying to get you ratings. I would go outside naked and i would shoot that sucker down. Jedediah naked with a gun and shooting another drone. You want conservative viewers, man . Or just creepy drifters. How long before you have your own drone that follows you around and takes selfies. I can see that happening. I have a personal assistant that i call a drone. He does that for me. I would be thanking my neighbor for using his drone. Apparently the guy who shot it down was having construction done on his property. A drone would be able to search and look if they are all doing their job. They would see the construction was efficient and they were sticking to timelines and not wasting your money. I think we should be thanking the drone there for spying on the workers. You have a good point there. Except for the fact that the house was under construction wasnt the guy that had the drone. You dont know that. Other than that it was a perfect point. Mark my words, greg, this is the first shot in the coming war. In 10 years most of america will look like a war zone with the husks of bullet ridden drones littennerring littering our yards. There will be a drone army. They will upgrade to stealth drones and they will buy more powerful guns and start buying more advanced radar systems. It will get out of control. And then people will die. And you have to think about the drones. They will be highly stressed and develop diseases. You will have a drone with chrones. Charlie sheen tried to stab his dentist. It has been awhile. Look at these winners. Tmz, an Online Internet destination said sheen went nuts at a dental office last week when a dental assistant administered nitrous oxide to have an abscess removed he got violent. He said he was high on rocco cane. The actress camp said she was lying and no knife was used. Of all times not to have a video. I need to see the video. What was he on . I wonder what he was on that conflicted with the laughing gas to create that kind of response. Guy i will tell you one thing. I have done a lot of experimenting. With drugs . With animals and latex. When laughing gas takes hold you panic. You get weird because you are losing control. I had it a couple of weeks ago. It makes sense. What are your thoughts . He was on crack cocaine which is an amazing i love it. It is like crack to me. It is so good. I cant stop doing it. I dont know. Why did the dentist have a knife . I dont know. He probably wasnt on crack cocaine. He is denying that. I think they said he was on meds for a shoulder like a previous shoulder injury. That is right up there with going to rehab for exhaustion. You are one of the biggest sheen fans i know. I dont think half of the story is real. I think he reacted to he reacted to the laughing gas because he couldnt control it. You are right. There is nothing in his path that would lead you to believe this happened. I think we should give him a pass. You have to give him the benefit of the doubt. It is not fair to him otherwise. The thing is this might kill his career. Joanne, you were married to him for like seven years. I dont want to talk about it. Confidentially agreement. I want to forget it. I didnt get enough presents. She was in like high school. I am really concerned for his teeth and gums. No hygenist will get close to that. I want to take a break. The bank mixes up some sperm. Not cool autographed coffee, g gutfeld. We dont need it. Her babys face is a different race. A lesbian couple in ohio is suing a sperm bank after one of the women became pregnant with sperm from a black man. Is this racist . You are so unprepared. Imagine this says racist. You are at home and you can do this. The mother requested a blonde haired, blue eyed baby. She was given number 330 instead of 380. I guess all of the numbers look alike. The couple says they love their 2yearold daughter and would not change anything about her. But they are concerned about her being raised in their predominantly white and racially insensitive neighborhood. The lawsuit 650 grant. Here is the mother on cnn. I am saying i want my child to be raised around people that maybe look like her and unfortunately we are not going to get all of those assets there in uniontown, ohio. We want her to grow up in a community where she feels accepted and feels like it is normal to be who she is and walk done the street and not have anything anything steer that view. Jedediah, what bugs me is she files a lawsuit because of the neighborhood and not the mistake. That is a bit erroneous. How about the argument that you went in and requested something and didnt get what you paid for . A sperm bank cant just say you asked for this so we will randomly roll the dice and see who you will get. It doesnt work like that. The fact she brought in all of this other nonsense made her look bad when she had a perfectly good argument. It should have been i ordered this and not i am worried the neighborhood will treat my child differently. What will this lawsuit do to the child . The child gets to grow up with two mommies. She has that and they are racist. It is a lot for her to have to handle. Can i just say this as a woman who has given birth, you never know what you are gonna get. You never know. I was happy when i had a white one. It is random. You are such a bad person. You are such a terrible, bad, awful, horrible, bad i would have loved anything i would have gotten except asian. You are awful. Shut up it is because she is canadian. Just shut up. Andy, thoughts . Lesbians are racist and it is time people started acknowledging this. What did you say . I missed it. Lesbians are racist. Why did i ask you to repeat it . I dont know. It is an important point and a point you will not get from the lame stream media. You realize people will think you are serious . I decided i was going to say i am kidding, of course, and then i decided i am done doing that. You are so [bleep] stupid and you think i am serious you deserve can you start winking to the camera . I just love the fact that they were perfectly fine living in a racially insensitive neighborhood until they had a baby that was half black. And now they are not happy. Now it is a problem. We need a white kid because we live in a instead of being like maybe we should move to someplace it is not racially insensitive. No, as long as we fit in, it is fine. Interesting point. Joanne . And if they need to move, im sure there are other neighborhoods that they can move to. Do they need money to move . Is that the poit . I have no idea. I think all they had to do was sue and saying they got the deal they made. The sperm bank has to be punished. You go to a sperm bank knowing you get to choose. The process is taxing, the money it costs and not wondering not knowing if it is all going to work out. I dont actually noah lot about know a lot about it. Im sure i am never having kids, but im sure it is a joy at some point. It is not up to you. The whole thing to me smacks of sperm shaming. It does. Have fun. We did a good job on that story. Coming up a fat, old white bruce lee and do you have videos of animals . You can send them to us at fox news. Com red eye. So excited. Rierksz will that be all, sir . Thank you. Ordering chinese food is a very predictable experience. I order b14. I get b14. No surprises. Buying business internet, on the other hand, can be a roller coaster White Knuckle thrill ride. Youre promised one speed. But do you consistently get it . You do with comcast business. And often even more. Its reliable. Just like kung pao fish. Thank you, ping. Reliably fast internet starts at 89. 95 a month. Comcast business. Built for business. I will be on the oreilly phak phak factor. E block. Last story. Thats the last story. And now a fun thing for people who like fun things. Now, a very important question. Do you know bruce . Can you repeat that question, please . Do you know bruce . One more time . Do you know bruce . Who . Do you know bruce . Now in slow do you know br . Guy thats my favorite one. Thats the normal mo. Do you know bruce . Again. Do you know bruce . One more time. Mcdermott, a huge bruce lee fan was wearing it from the last movie and he did the vine to publicize the wing museums newest bruce lee exhibit titled do you know bruce . I thought it was successful. I thought it was wonderful. It is art. It is art. Do you like how he looked . Yeah, i thought the jump suit could be a little smaller. I didnt quite get the full you wanted everything. You wanted to see it all. He is quite sexy in that outfit. This is how i like my politicians. This is a man i could vote for right there. I think he should run for president and do that the whole time. Is there any outfits you like to wear i dont know where this is going. Shes may cede. Shes nay shes naked all the time. With a gun or super hero costumes. Super girl. What about you, joanne . Would you ever impersonate an idol of yours . I have been Joan Crawford this whole time. Did no one see that . No, i did not see that. I have to say he did a great job. I would love to invite him to my family parties. I think we can have a lot of fun. Imagine the selfies he would take with me. Or the usies. It didnt seem like six seconds. It never does. Andy, what will this help more, the museum or his career . I dont care. Are we out of time . We have 12 minutes. Seriously . We have to discuss this whole thing. I want to talk more about the lesbians. You dont have anymore points to make. I have no points to make on this story. The problem is for people like me who like to dress like that it has now been ruined. You are not going to pull it off as well as he did. You couldnt pull that off if you tried. And i would like to try. You can do what bonnie said and buy a smaller size. Why do you have lipstick in your happened . Why dont you . He has the lipstick, lets talk about the lesbians again. Im sorry. Ii object successed every kid in the 70s was obsessed with bruce lee. He may or may not have been dead before they discovered him. Ties death was faked. His death was faked because he did a lot of under cover work. That was the story. All i remember is that everybody had a bruce lee story about how he grabbed the guys heart and it was bleeding. Patrick swayzee dances. I am canadian. Good for you. Good for you. You get up in the morning and have breakfast and you say look, i am canadian bacon. I am a vegetarian. Really . You are still hot though. Really finished strong tonight. In a moment youre going to hear some fascinating sound from a muslim who says he attended the same mosque where the oklahoma beheading suspect practiced islam. What he says goes on in private in that mosque will shock you. Plus, this. The teaching that islam allows three choices to be made to nonmuslims and eventually theyre all going to have to make that choice to convert to live under islamic rule or die. As president bush predicted, wed be

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