Transcripts For FOXNEWSW Red Eye 20140925

I am here tonight with joanne nosuchunsky. And he will be off tomorrow for rosh huh roshhashanna. He is jewish. And the spokesman for four, yes, four, u. S. Ambassadors to the u. N. And his idea of romance is not getting robbed by the hooker. Sitting next to me, comedian jim norton, the host of the jim norton show, a fantastic show. A block. The lede. Thats the first story. Was his salute moot . This question and more in part infinity for our gram knee awardwinning grammy awardwinning segment on tuesday our alleged lady hating kenyanborn president slash interloper stepped off of marine 1 in new york and delivered a salute to two marines while holding a coffee cup. Watch and weep, watch and weepers. Lets see it again in slow motion. I dont even want to do the show anymore. The president s gaptastic was where he showed no regard for the hassle his motorcade causes. Ordinary americans like myself. I was just discussing with president clinton that if chelsea begins delivery while i am speaking she has my motorcade and we can begin to navigate traffic. Actually it is pretty smooth for me during the week. I dont know what the problem is, everybody hypes the traffic. I havent noticed. Disgusting. Lets see it again in slow motion. Just kidding. Has traffic in new york improved since this afternoon . Lets go live to our midtown traffic cam. It is all fun and games until somebody gets decapitated. Are you as outraged by the president s late salute as i am . Are you ready to explode with impeachment frenzy . No. I will say this though, i dont think it would be such a big deal if he didnt have a problem with the military. The fact that he is already considered weak and not supporting them and then he does the late, i mean when president bush did it, it wasnt as big of a deal. And i think the reason is because the military knew that the president supported them. This president already had some problems. Another talking head said the way the democrats have a problem with the defense, the republicans have a problem with say compassion and stuff like that. You always get you have to be extra careful and sensitive about things about race and feminism and democrats have to be careful about things that have to be with defense. It is their achilles heels, if you may. Welcome to the program. It is great to have you here. I know you have a busy schedule. I do. I am leaving shortly after this. You have your own helicopter waiting for you. Yes along with a massage. I think you call it is helicopter. The double knuckler. You were in the green room and you said this late salute got your goat. It really did. I related to it. I was recently thrown out of the american nazi party. I understand how a gaff like this can happen and ruin everyones fun. It is nonsense. It is like i say in my book, the fire doesnt always mean there will be smoke or something of that nature. They are making a big deal. Guy i love the book title. You know who might care . The two marines who were there. For obama, it is another flight and another salute. For them it is honorable. It is their job. It is what they dedicate their lives to. I would like to think it was their commanderinchief. They got a great salute though. They have one that was replayed over and over. Remember the coffee . I was there. Do you think, andy, i am going off topic here, the reason the reason it wasnt full of coffee, but it may have been Something Else. Do you mean tea . No i was thinking like tobacco juice. Or perhaps an adult beverage . Yes maybe that was it. Interesting. I like weaving conspiracies. You really do. I am quite good at it. You know why . Why . Because of the chem trails. The white house never should have put out the video. That is the that is the hilarious and really bad part of all of this. Nobody there thought this is not the best thing in the world. They thought it was cute or something. That is the problem. It is not a big deal. Out of everybody here you are in the military. I talked to terry sapper and he said they dont expect much. You served in the military. Do you find it offensive . I dont. I think what he should have done he shouldnt have saluted. It is not required. I am in that the president should not salute at all camp. Nobody did until regan. I didnt know there was a camp. It is fun. We play games. In the military you only salute in uniform. The president is never in a military uniform. He doesnt have to salute. What he should have done there is simply not saluted. He could have nodded to them. Or offered them some coffee. That was kind of rude. I do remember there was a time when i was in korea i was Walking Around and our Battalion Commander came by on a bicycle and saluted him and realize later i had a cigarette in my hand and i felt like a dork. This was just six weeks ago. Either he didnt notice or was cool enough to notice it was an honest mistake and didnt say anything. I cant get worked up over this. I personally think conservatives hurt themselves whens they get worked up about this. Guy i said this earlier today, but i did it for 80 seconds. The coffee thing looks bad and it might be bad. It might make the president look bad, but it makes his critics look worse. The critics it makes it look like they cant differentiate between a small thing and a large thing. That is worse. Unlike the traffic joke which is to me a big thing. I live here and i couldnt get home last night. Dana marine gnaw missed her flight. I had to take the subway. It was in poor taste. One thing new yorkers dont tolerate is jokes about lateness. That was really they made a joke about matt damon. 02 buddy. Guy have i to say, rick, there were victims of his motorcade. It is like he mocked them. He truly could be a jerk. I think the joke would have been great two weeks from now. But to do it today, i mean the people if you are not in new york it is crippling here. Everybody is missing everything. Even liberals are complaining. You know who wasnt complaining was andy because you have . O where to go. And i walk to work. I hate to say it no, traffic is never funny. Jokes are only funny when there is hue humility in it. Two weeks from now would have been funny. Anyone who lives on the eastside deserves to get that was a jab at somebody. It was a jab at anybody who lives any mass skew lated woman who wont sleep with me. I agree with jane that he has great he has a great rhythm with a joke, with the pacing. However, the attitude of it was the thing that just gets it it is like, yeah, i am the president. You are screwed. You are not. Exactly. He could have probably i dont know. What if there was an ambulance and there was a grandmother and a dude in traffic died. That will be my monologue tomorrow. President obama killed a grandmother. And then the joke is hilarious. And thought it was funny. You know what, i am going to assume that somebody died. You know somebody died today. Somebody died today. I am going to assume that happened. I am writing the monologue tonight when i get home. That means i can do some fun stuff and maybe do a little shopping and get a sweater because fall is coming. It makes my whole day when i think of something or jim thinks of something. No, it is yours, greg. Isis isnt like us. In a speech at the u. N general assembly, president obama urged International Cooperation in confronting the militant aholes, those are his words, but i wonder have we reaffirmed that the United States is not and never will be at war with islam . We have reaffirmed again and again that the United States is not and never will be at war with islam. Islam teaches piece. When it comes to america and islam there is no us and them. There is only us. It seems like he is speaking inside an Expensive Hotel bathroom. There should be somebody holding towel. The u. S. Rejects any suggestion of a class of civilizations. Meanwhile, does obama realize that americas critics will be quick to point out that at times we too have failed to live up to our ideals. I realize americas critics will be quick to point out that at times we too have failed to live up to our ideals. America has plenty of problems within its own borders. This is true. In a summer marked by instability in the middle east and eastern europe, i know the world took notice of the small American City of ferguson, missouri where a young man was killed and a community was divided. Well that was totally necessary. For more on the u. N, lets go live to sneezing cat. That was my cat i would be planing paprika all day. No, i wouldnt. I am not a cruel person. Jim, two comments here president obama made, one about islam and the other about in which he injected ferguson into the proceedings. Go on with yourself. The whole isis thing is hurting my touring. I have quite a following there. I have got two emails there. It is good to have it reaffirmed that we are not at war with islam. It is not just obama. Bush can say it. I am just so sick of hearing it. We have to tell islam it is not all of you. It is like trying to break up with a crazy person. Dont they understand these guys are loping heads off. It is not you why does he care about the critics . Why do that hear to the u. N. There is a tactic in arguing and you lap off somebodys offense. I said lop twice. It is presenting your own flaws. But you didnt need to do that because a guy being shot in the confrontation is different than peoples heads being sawed off. Can you separate isis from islam . Is there a goal to establish a califate . And he really danced at the u. N speech extremism, violence, violent extremism. Religiously motivated, but he couldnt say islamic extreme mitch or easy or islamic fundamentalism. If you cant say it you dont know it and you are not willing to confront it. He is trying to make the United States relatable which is the ferguson comment. He is thinking we are just like you and we have problems like you. But the problem that it doesnt make us relatable. It allows russia and others to dismiss their problems. And it is to say we dont have that big a problem then. So does the United States. That is an interesting poin. Point. I wrote it down. Now you have nothing . Have i a few things. I would say that isis is bad. Very good. I would be afraid it would make me easy llama islamaphobic, but i am in the clear. Obama says they are not islamic. That is what he is doing. Guy what was your other thing . If it is not as good dont say it. It is like obama. I dont know the words so i dont use real words. I use floury things. You are a raw rhetorical florist. I dont know what that means. Neither do i and i said it. Obama says this is not a clash of the civilizations. He is a wet blanket because i thought it was. It is not. There is nothing civilized about isis and alqaeda. You need two civilizations for there to be a clash of civilizations. That is a jab at isis. You should jump up. Jay he is obviously correct when we are not at war with islam. The fact that they are bombing syria is proof of that. We are at war with easy islamic terrorism and he should say that. I dont know why he is not saying that. The ferguson stuff, i have no problem pointing out american flaws. A great country can handle flaws being pointed out. But it didnt belong there. It has no business being there. Guy it reminded me when i was out with the mrs. And we are talking and i unnecessarily make a joke at her expense. Then i dont hear anything about it until i get home. Why would you say that . I was trying to be relatable. Everybody has a problem with their wife and so do i. She is like, no, you dont have a problem. When the president leaves the u. N. And gets home to america he will hear about this. Thats my metaphor. He has to come home and deal with us. The u. N is a floosie, a bunch of loser floosies. The ferguson thing was totally stupid. It was not as bad as when he grabbed his hank key yelling attica. They edited that out because they were embarrassed. You dont air your dirty laundry to the u. N. Thats all im saying. The u. N is one big pile of dirty laundry, right . There is a lot of bad people there. Have i to say though it has been a great week for me. All i hear from u. N diplomats is they miss bush. President bush, president George W Bush. Lord, this show goes to the tank. You just cut me off. Do the hookers go away . George w bush. All right. Thats a euphemism. Thats when you had u. N diplomats Walking Around and doesnt want to get arrested. I am looking for president bush. Are you George W Bush . It is funny there are a lot of you guys looking for George W Bush. Some are looking for colin powell. All right, coming up, i invite the guests back to my apartment. I hope they are ready for pillow fights and fits of crying. But first, what did a mother and daughter do to the High School Football field . If it is anything other than draw a penis we wont do this story. Welcome back. So on last nights show we reported the three breasted reality show hopeful. I am afraid we made an error errorola. It is time for another apology. New information shows everything in that story was fake, especially the breast. The hoxter filed a stolen baggage claim at the Tampa International airport and reported one threebreast prosthesis missing. The only real boob in this story is us. In future, we will triple check any stories about three breasts. As it stands now we are sorry, there is no three breasted lady. We are really, really sorry. There is none. We wish there would have been. This has been. Can marying a nerd make you keen of the herd. It is the subject of tonights red eye debate, 2014, live from the red eye debate center. Welcome to tonights red eye debate center. I used the shrink ray to sink them to microscopic size. It links a conscientious spouse and higher job satisfaction. Con sen shoes people follow rules and work hard and are reliable and predictable and able to control their impulses. Ie, they are called dorks. They are more likely to help out with household chores and making it easier to focus on their career. Jim, do you buy this study . It is a bunch of bunk, greg. You are more effective at your job if you are married to a dork because you are not tired from all of that sex. You have a lot of energy. Bunk, that is a good name for your show. Bunk. It is too edgy. I wanted to do a sitcom called thats bopping about two guys sharing a bunk bed. Will you finally marry a dork now now that the evidence has convinced you . I think if you marry i think Melinda Gates taught us if you mary a dork you become a billionaire. I am dyeing to know dianes take on this. Before we before we get to joannes take. If you marry a dork or a geek you go to bed earlier and you are waking up and you are rested and getting into the office. There is no complaining. There is no like i was drunk last night or i am going on you way this weekend because i have plans. You have no plans. You have to get up at 7 00 in the morning to clean the [bleep] because he went in the bed because he was drunk. Joel ripken was a dork. He was a bad dork. Ted bundy was a dork. Maybe not. Ripken was. He was. Son of sam was a dork. Absolutely. Joanne, what are your thoughts on this as a young, single Woman Working her way up the ladder of men in new york . Guy i dont think i will settle with a dork because to settle means you are a quiter and that i am not. No, you are not. And climing is excellent cardio. I dont know when we started using the word dork again. Thats one of the things i look for in a man. It is young women who like the bad boys and then after the bad boys ruin their lives they look for their reliable dork as they edge over 30. Then they need the reliable guy. I mean, some women may need a man. Good for you. When you get to 40 though, i hear, i will marry a gay man just because i know they are reliable. I said that many a times. By this logic women who want to get ahead in their career should lineup to marry you, but they arent. Unless there is a line of cats. This thing is i dont play by the rules. I have the Leather Jacket to prove it it. Also i think the word dork came back i actually blame the new girl with the whole adorkabe thing. I think thats when dork came back when all of that came along. Seriously, wow, marrying somebody who is hard working, reliable, predictable and able to control his impulses is good for you. Yea, science. Speaking of science, and i made this point before. This is an excuse for nerdy scientists to go to places where there are women and ask them about the traits that make a successful mate. And then they use it as an opportunity to ask the girl out. Many are clumsy and spend most of the time in labs. As you know i mentor a lot of teen women. They should be looking for someone who would do Something Like mentor teen women. A guy who is hard working and reliable. Nothing to add, jim . It has all been said. You are right about the word, dork. I used to do something with grow de. Coming up, a Restaurant Owner is fed up with the people he feeds so he kills them. Not really, but he does something. But first, a word from our sponsor. Tonights sponsor is the pocket code. Did you just lose an tooth and wonder what the Founding Fathers of all writing laws have to say . Wonder no more. Now you can babble on about babylon. We dont give a [bleep] about gluten free. It lets people with fake gluten allergies know they shouldnt eat there. He should be commended forgiving him that information. I dont think the first line of the sign was a great idea. He wrote we are closed because of you and then customers in parenthesises. You hospital be you should not be in that business if you say we are closed because of you. He is like in kitchen nightmares. They have Gordon Ramsey come in to talk about how bad the restaurant is. Then they say get out of here. I just gave you the summary of every Gordon Ramsey show ever done. He complains and they get mad. I dont understand these people that refuse to pay for their meal. If you eat did they eat the whole meal . They might have. If you eat the whole meal you pay for the whole meal. If you take a couple bites and you dont like it or it is bad you send it back. I get that. If you dont like it you still pay, im sorry. If it is bad for some reason, then you can say, look, i need another one. You send it back. But if you eat the whole thing you cant say it not okay. It is like ordering a cocktail at the bar and then you say i am not really in the mood for this. Can i get Something Else . I am not going to drink this or pay for it . Oh great, that is waste, thanks. I get why he is doing this. Now people ask for the world and we give it to them and then they expect it every time. But it is bad business for him to do this, obviously. He will make attract a few people, but for the most part the customer is always right and if you can cater to someones needs and unfortunately today you have to. Do i think those people should eat at home . I do. But if they have to go out, you should cater to them. I was fired for not giving money back. It was a breakfast and a guarantee it would be the best breakfast. The guy came over and said it was not the best breakfast that he ever ate and i didnt want to give his money back and the manager fired me. What was the restaurant . I forget what it was called. This is these are all indulgences of white modern liberals, buying organic, the gluten stuff. Msg. I love msg. Madison square garden, freaking awesome all right, the turf became turgid. A michigan mother and her teen daughter, arent they all, are facing felony charges for putting painting a giant penis on a football field. School activities were disrupted because of the etching and repairs may cost up to 200 million. That is not true. The mother, julie baumgardner, seen here is charged with malicious destruction of property and contribute together delinquency of a minor. Is that against the law . She denies, she or her daughter, damaged the field, but she would say that, wouldnt she . I think i read that well. Parents pulling pranks with kids. Is this a good thing or bad thing . It depends on the prank. I respect that woman because she sang smoke on the water and is an attractive lady. Yank this is dangerous and i recent the fact they asked me to make molt and then ask me to do this. That is very clever. Rick, when somebody call itself a prank, it takes it out of the realm of vandalism. Isnt this really vandalism . Shouldnt they be put away for a life . Maybe, but are you sure that tomorrow night we are not going to be apologizing for this story . I dont know if i believe that it is 100 yards long. That seems very difficult to carve in the grass. Cant you see it . Yoong it is a rocket. You do . You said that to me many times. I think it is actually only two yards long, but when a male reporter does the story is it 100 yards long. I dont believe it. It does president look like a penis. It looks like a rocket. Like i said, i have heard that if i had a dollar for every time, joanne. Do you participate in any pranks . I i see you as one of those girls in carrie who dumps the bucket on the poor girl. I dont think i did any pranks. I did deface public problem. Really . Is that the same thing . It is. You just said in the good green room about a prank you did. No, i didnt. That was hazing. That is something different. But i am fascinated how you said this crop circles or the pyramids, how do you make it straight . It is so large. How is it not like a crooked one . I dont know. I saw a picture and it looked it was artistic. It was artistic. The pyramids, how did they make that straight . They didnt then. They didnt have rollers. They had rulers, but a different kind of ruler. We will be right back. Just kidding we havent gone to andy. The daughter is in juvenile detention center. She could be the worst mom ever and you deal with teens so oh. If a mom was involved with this, how lame is are you a 50yearold woman. You are doing dumb things like etching a penis on to a football field . Come on, man. That all i have to say. I smell a new segment. Dont do that. That is a really good segment idea. I dont think there is anything good with it. If they want to go out and burn something it is perfectly acceptable. I dont know who Lauren Haines is. You dont know . Guitar player and government mule. He is a very handsome guy. No he is not. All right, you drunks. Time to take a break. Up next, the singer goes off on peta when we get back. Remember, get not cool order it. Amazon. Com, autographed copy g gutfeld. Com. She keep itself real when it comes to seal. On monday, singer tonya tugak won best album at the Canadian Music awards beating our arcade fire, thank god, drake and others. Her acceptance speech was strange. I couldnt be any happier on a quick side note people should wear and eat seal as much as possible because if you imagine an Indigenous Culture thriving and surviving on sustainable resource, wearing seal and eating it, it is delicious and there is lots of them and [bleep] peta. Wow. In response, peta who she said f too said they were never opposed to indigenous seal hunts. Lets look at two perform mans mans performances. That is absolutely amazing. She sounds like me when i am watching her. Incredible. Rick, she won best album of the year, i believe. And some say it was the best album of the decade. Have you ever heard throat singing . I didnt even know what it was. I was going ask, so i am glad we got the tutorial. I just want to make one thing clear. This is not the previous story. No, it is not the previous story. Throat singer, what am i getting mixed up . Seal, i actually think she was a little brave to actually talk about something that peta needs to back gown from and you called it out. Peta was not up for the fight. It is attached to a culture and they dont want to seem bigoted. Can we do that with turkey . On the one hand hunting seals is wrong and on the other happened it is not white people doing it so it is not wrong . And maybe it is wrong to even say it is wrong if it is not white people doing it. The hierarchy is it is Indigenous People seals white people. If the indigenous white people become super rich and power powerful, then you have to change the hierarchy. I know it is wrong to hunt, kill and eat Indigenous Peoples. Thats the only thing i can get out of this. We have the navy seals. That is a good point. I actually got that one too. If your culture can survive and if you have to eat it, you have to eat it. Peta is not talking or peta is part of the pronunciation. No one is talking about indigenous i think we all know they are talking about these guys standing there with clubs. Thats what peta is talking about. I guess so. I didnt like her. She irritated me. If i buy that album i would be listening to it all the time. There is something to it. I think i may be a fan of throat singing. Will you wear more seal now . No, but seal is single now. Thats true. I may date seal. No, she did have a point. She is using the whole animal for meat and apparel which is wonderful. She also won 30,000 along with this award. That is a great pair of seal shoes or like two pairs. Are there seal shoes . Not yet. I dont know. Can i just say the best part of the story is she beat arcade fire. The best part of the story is she beat dribbing. I dont know enough about drake to dislike him. He started from the bottom and now hes here. Nice. We will leave this. Coming up, your new favorite super hero gimp man. And do you have videos of animals . You can send them to us, fox news. Com red eye. Joanne will be on making money thursday at 6 00 p. M. Eastern on fox business network. Why . Why do you do that . Coming up tomorrow on the next red eye terry will be pumped. Joleen kent and sherrod small. Maybe he will talk. E block. Last story. Thats the last story. Sherrod, i have to take pills to deal with you. His fetish is philanthropy and rubber. I speak of the gimp man of essex. He is the one off the left. The unidentified brit walks around essex, england in his favorite bondage body suit to raise money for charity. For every photo posted on facebook he donates 1 pound, thats money, to a local Mental Health organization, which is nice. So far gimp man has given 700 pounds and even his wife and kids are not aware of his alter ego. He assures us on his Facebook Page that he is not scary, quote, i am not scary, and i will not hurt you. I am just out and about to make people smile and hopefully brighten aew days up. That he does, gimp man. Rick, is this a wonderful idea or a truly wonderful idea . Love. It he is living his dream. He is not spiderman in time square like molesting people. He is putting out his fantasy and asking a little money for a charity. There is nothing wrong with that. I dont think there is anything wrong. We should be celebrating him. I think we should. Jim, you may have some pointers or suggestions. He is a genius. All he is doing is covering his bases. He is married and he will get caught in a dumb outfit some day. I am doing it for charity. I am donating to a cancer fund. How does that help . Just walk around with a hat and take money. It is true. You like guys who can take a fetish or something odd about themselves and work it into daily life as a positive. He doesnt go out on weekends or school holidays. Much like me. You might be him. The gimp man of essex japing was a Sherlock Holmes mystery. I was all for it until i read he says he wants to, quote, start a debate among the members of the public. Now i hate him. Not everything has to be a debate. You want to wear a gimp suit, wear a gimp suit. Stop trying to care. What kind of life, what kind of sheltered, lonely, boring life do you have . We have all read 50 shades of grey greg. I was thinking maybe people at home could have used a tutorial. I think fox fans know what bbdn is. Do you think his family is truly in the dark . The wife knows. She always knows. She probably wants to keep her job. I dont know. I feel employers may be a little freaked out about that. I think the discussion is great, andy. He says people on the beach in a bathing suit, how is that different from a black latex or rubber suit . Absolutely good point. You still see what is there. Yeah, you do. I have no problem with what he is doing. I just dont need a debate about it. You should debate which charity to give to. Look what we are doing. Exactly. And it is a little more interesting than the ice bucket challenge. Should that be the new one . Everybody has to wear a gimp outfit. The gimp challenge. 24 hours. You know what, i wonder who the actor was who played the gimp in pulp fiction. It was john travolta. I had no idea. No, that guy was too svelt. Rick, andy levy, jim norton, that was a smashing show, smashing i tell you, smashing. Isis. Theres also a database at 8 00 p. M. On bfox business. This is a fox news alert, just moments ago received word from the pentagon that the u. S. And our arab partners have undertaken a new round of air strikes inside syria, these striking at modular Oil Refineries used by size sis. But earlier today, president obama delivered a much anticipated United Nations speech. If you missed it, heres the cliff notes version. Islam goodclimate change really, really bad. A familiar sounding speech punched up with some tough sounding lines like this. No god condones this terror. No grievance justifies these