0 is called something about poo. poo-prints. what you do, if you live in an apartment complex you turn in a dna sample of your dog and then you can -- the apartment management can find out if you didn't pick up after your dog. so everybody becomes a better citizen. and they don't let their dogs poo without picking them up. poo prints laboratory in tennessee. >> greg: i got some of jasper's. eric? >> dana: i pick up. >> eric: quickly, we'll stay on jay carney to open the white house. by the way, jay, call me. i would love to break the news. fantastic. a shameless plug. "cashing in" saturday, new time, special time to make way for capac. we talk about obamacare. and the dog bills going up. >> bob: i'm sure most of you saw the movie "titanic." there is a moving scene when the band kept playing, as the ship was going down. do we have that footage? >> greg: quickly. c'mon people. ♪ ♪ >> bob: they kept doing that, and people were getting off the ship. they obviously all went down with the ship and died. here is the most amazing thing about that. they have found the violin. the violin must have been picked up by somebody. there is it in priss type condition. they found it. it's been two years to authenticate it. it is the guy, the leader of the band's violin. put it on auction and it will go for lot of money. maybe the person building the titanic ought to buy it, the new titanic and the band could play with that. that is amazing to me. somebody picked it up. freddi >> greg: cool. well done. 11:00 p.m. "red eye" tomorrow we have this lady. dana perino. lauren sabon and harris faulkner. a new show. what else would you do? that is it for "the five." don't do st. patrick's day. it's evil. payingen welcome to "red eye." it is like breakfast at tiffanies if by breakfast you mean soiling myself. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> our top story, a judge validates mayor bloomburg's limits on sugar redrinks one day before they are to take affect the the shocking thing that is the greatest thing since the big gulp. and an attorney asks judge david levey to prevent jewish from serving on the jury. and finally, is internet porn forcing parents to have the birds and the bees talk with their kids at an earlier age? some say yes. others, well, i think others say yes actually. greg? >> thanks, andy. >> you becha, greg. >>- q. i bye. let's welcome our guests. she is so hot that hot pockets serve her as an after school snack. i am here with anchor lori rothman. and he is so sharp he is often mistaken for a are cay ofing -- for a carving station. and in texas she considered a belt buckle, my sidekick, bill schulz. everybody is in red today. and if fierce commentary was tuna fish he would come in a tiny n cay. gavin mcguinness. writer for "street carnage" and street carnage.com. >> get ready for the least informative show, america. >> he gets more and more mean every day. >> is it defeat for enemies of sweet? well, a judge has cut michael bloomburg down to size. if that is possible. invalidating the ban on large, utopia even if you happen to be right. they are always parts of a utopian society, but when you do that people die. >> we don't even enforce the laws in the city. it is the most libertarian city on earth. none of them are enforced. 15-year-olds hang out at bars after school. people smoke pot on the street pretty much openly. i don't think the soda ban is ever going to happen. i am wondering how much it would actually cost. >> the 15-year-old in a bar could explain the awkwardness from earlier this week when i won't get into that story because it is still pending legal deals. lori, you are a business lady and a small one at that. is this a victory for the little guy or the little girl? >> it is a victory for normal people. it is a question of mislaid priorities, right? gavin, you make a great point. there are tremendous burdens on this country's health care system. it is up for tremendous debate crime. >> out lies the crime, okay of the from large drinks to a politician who thinks. he wants to end their zeal over guns that are not real of the last week stupidly a maryland second grader was suspended after he shaped his pop tart into a pistol. this week a state senator proposed a bill. he is kind of attractive. he introduced the school discipline act to restrict the punishment and it can hand down on students who have a picture or object that happens to look like a gun. i thought they were going to keep that picture up forever. the measure is a provision for disciplining school staff who overreact and would make sure these incidents don't become part of a permanent record. and lawmakers across the country are pushing for taxes on firearms. proposals include a 25% sales tax on guns and am mow in -- ammo in massachusetts or taxachusetts. i just came up with that. a 70% tax on this. >> how can you tax that adore built? lori, as a mom, or you claim to be a mother, but there is no proof. do you salute senator jennings? >> i know gavin empathizes. >> very fresh. >> i haven't been called fresh since i was in second grade. >> timeout, mister. >> it is old school brooklyn adjective. >> a teacher would say that. >> yes, in the 1950s. >> kids do what they do and say what they say. they are emulating grown-ups and can't punish them. especially the one making the toaster strudels into guns. is that what they are doing? it is insanity to punish them for this. >> how screwed up is it we need legislation to deal with something this stupid? we do we have to tell teachers and administrators that a gun made out of a pastry is evil. >> it never looks like a gun because it is a pop tart. it looks like a pop tart and they don't resemble weapons. at least they didn't in my day. i like the provision about this though. it will actually punish the teachers. the kids will not bankrupt the country one municipality at a time. >> gavin, let's talk about the taxing of bullets and guns. do you still want to talk about the pastry? >> the unturned stone here is that this is a war thought just against bullies, but against masculinity. you didn't see this before, but now kids are punished if they go like this and kids' test scores or boys test scores are below and they include a behavior now. they quantify how good the kid is. it is kids raised without dads and it is starting an estrogen culture. boys are being penalized for it. >> that's an interesting link you made. i still want to ask you about the tax issue here. isn't this like how it always works? no matter what happens it will always be a victory for beurocracy. even though they solved nothing with gun control laws, they were able to put money into their pockets, into the coffers by taking an issue and demonizing an issue. >> they talk about gangsters and murderers, but then when they go to pursue it, they can't find those guys. they punish the people who follow the rules. you see the same with immigration. they say, we have to stop this. we need more rules with immigration. and then they punish us who come here and bring jobs. the ones who float over the river, they can't get them. that's forgotten. >> bill, you make guns into pastries at your gun pastry shop. >> that's the answer. that is what he has to talk to all of the gun people about. turn the guns into something that resembles a strudel. that will "f" with the teachers' heads and the kids will be a little less fat because they will be playing with the strudels rather than stuffing it down their giant pie holes. >> and it is a pie hole. >> by definition the government punishes those who follow the rules because they need to get money and it has to be the guys on record as existing, so by their very definition they are here to tap the rule abiders. >> that is true, my friend. you are learning quickly. this is a good class. >> i guess there are tax for things like cigarettes and alcohol, not good. guns, to your point, are you punishing people who use guns for good things, for defensive measures and against crime. is that your point? >> the gangsters are not rolling their eye and say oh great, another bullet tax. i am going to stop killing at this po nie t. point. it is too expense tiff. >> that started off as a chris rock bet. >> now it is actual politics. >> it is like $200 a bullet. but it goes to your point, no criminal will pay $200 a bullet. >> why would they care? they are criminals? >> how are you going to regulate how many bullets they buy? >> i have no idea. let's move on. from side arms to sidekicks, do they not respect her squeaky pet? i love this story. a michigan school reached a $40,000 settlement with a student who sued to keep an on campus guinea pig. she suffers from chronic depression and says the furry friend helps her cope with physical and emotional issues. grand valley state university violated the federal housing rules. it is like where archie went. pig. i think we should be applauding this kid. this is the ultimate heist. this is george clooney at the end of "oceans 11". get this kid a job. >> that's amazing. the guinea pig is called the other adorable meat. lori, you have dogs and are still an emotional wreck. does that discount everything? >> my dogs can't accompany me to work which is the only place i am an emotional wreck. if my dogs, i talk about often, more than my children, were with me today, you would see a stellar performance. >> she is one of the unusual people who likes her kids and her pets. >> and the bad thing is she doesn't like her pets that much. >> what is your take on this, young man? >> i think what is going on here with the 40,000 is that in the lawyer's defense, the juries are so sympathetic to >> it was in the story and taken out? >>- q. i yes. >> you jerks. >> but now i can use it as a talking point. if you have that and it calms her down they can reason in the guinea pig. >> that makes sense. >> but then again how can you prove -- i would think a guinea pig would make my heart race more. >> if she has an accelerated heart you would pet the animal and now it makes sense. >> guinea pigs smell and when i smell something bad my heart races. >> we can't carry those who are so fragile they have to take a rodent. you know what we say in canada? if you bring a frivolous suit to court and it wastes everyone's time you have to pay for it. it is a very happenedy law. >> you know what else is handy? coming up, what is it like to stab a nameless drifter to death? lori roth man discusses last saturday night. first can a new drug help us all live to 150? think about how much sitting on the couch i can do then.