>> a little band you used to be in apparently. >> oh them. we don't talk much. my solo career was much better. >> that's not true. they kept me down. >> i don't think that's true either. >> go away. let's start the show. let's welcome our guest. she is so cute that babies carry pictures of her in their wallets . if hilarity was a rollercoaster i would scream my head off while riding him. it is the father of gavin who was talking with street carnage .com. the book is called how to bleep in public. and he has been banned from every petting zoo across the country. it is my sidekick, bill schulz. and he is so british his stiff upper lip has a stiff upper lip. and he would love to end his days by setting him ablaze. good to see you, pinch. >> in the paper of record, steve arrimger looks at the political make up of france and asks the question, what exactly is a socialist? >> pinch? >> yes, intern porch. >> sometimes me think you is a socialist. >> is that what you think? >> sometimes i think you chug draino in your lunch breaks ? >> what is draino? i try it with blueberry juice. nummy in my tummy. >> get him out of here. hello, mr. hunt. >> he just seems happy to be here, greg. >> he does. >> after such a wonderful discourse. >> is it a sport minus the short? volleyball on sand will be super bland at this year's olympic with london's dreary weather forcing the well abed athletes out of their bikinis and into full body suits. terrible. says one aussie player, quote, we need it to keep our muscles warm. like we care. a london company says americans american flooding the cities saying i am renting my flat to fat american family. london, you are fat too. let's go live to mike michaels in london. i must warn viewers that there is a slight tape delay being london. so mike, hello. what is the vibe out there? >> greg you can get a big sense of the excitement in london. >> have you had a chance to talk to any of the athletes? >> thanks, greg. this feels like a massive event. it is all very exciting. >> well, what stories are you working on? >> thanks, greg. there are so many great olympic stories to be told the next few weeks. >> mig else we should know -- anything else we should know? >> that's it from london. back to you, greg. >> well, that was definitely worth the money we spent on that. we will be checking in with mike throughout the olympics. jonathon, you hale from the olympic city of london. do you care now to apologize to america and to the american men in general for what you are doing to the volleyball players ? >> it is appalling as somebody who grew up in london doing yardwork with my father december or july wearing nothing but matching leopard print speedos -- dad told me it was normal. i have no sympathy. do they honestly think we watch it for the sport? come on. >> they are marvelous athletes. why not have both? it is a peanut butter cup of athleticism. >> thanks for having me. it is an absolute honor. i don't speak -- [bleep]. sean connery does it. i am not going to do that. >> will this sport lose some of its integrity if the players cover up? >> oh yes, if the players i will lose some. even john agrees. the blood emus limbs have taken it over. now the only good thing with the olympics is the nickers and now they are wearing a bikini and that is the end of that. these people are tourists. the athletes are tourists. wear your local [bleep]. >> i could understand one word in that. >> gavin didn't fill him in on the no swearing. jedediah, a lot of cities try to change the weather. china has done it. russia has done it. why shouldn't england try to do it so they can compete uni'm come bettered. >> i don't know why. we have a whole panel of guys. fitted long sleeved body suit shows the contours. is that not a little sexy still? >> what are you talking about? >> the boobies get cold, but it cover itself up and leaves a little to the imagination. >> nobody here know what's the word contour means. know your audience before you turn us on. >> nobody has an imagination either. >> i knead to see everything. bill, you won several golds in the homeless volleyball. do you care to comment on this? >> the bottle was the ball, so we all won in that sense. this sport started in 1996 for one reason and one reason only. not coincidentally, it happened to have been the peak of all things baywatch. they knew what they were doing. they knew what they were doing. they have redpressed for god -- regressed for god knows why. now i am really not going to view. >> do do you think i am sexy because i am working out? why are you looking at me because i am perfect? what is the matter with that. that's like pants saying why are you staring at me with my we black and gold. it has an amazing. can we not look at them? >> i d't know what you are saying. >> it sounded like a black panther. >> it is like a bug going, what are you looking at? a giant wingspan? >> i want to talk about the bag, jonathon. do brits have something against americans ? >> yes. >> are brits that slim, really? >> i would make any brit carrying that particular bag, they should be the ones walking around in a mankini for the entire duration of the olympics. and show us your teeth, brits. >> below the belt. >> jedediah, president obama hasn't responded. >> he needs to be responding to this. >> should america respond to this handbag as an act of war? >> look, i have some bad news for you. the entire world is making jokes about how fat you are. you go to sleep and you shout, it says mission impossible and i have these two fat americans facing each other and you said no. you said no. they are nude, and that is not going to happen. americans don't know they are fat. you are huge. >> we can afford to be huge. america is a big country. >> sorry. >> what is with the american economy criticized. ohio sucks. don't make fun of ohio. >> bill, last words? >> first of all, i subscribe to a wonderful scottish export, heroin, and i am the opposite of fat. >> all right, come on. we have to move on. from beaches to bigots, the contest to become the first olympian kicked out of the games because of tweet is over. and your winner is greek triple jumper and here is the tweet that got her booted. put that in english, please. what do you call that, grecco? west nile mosquitoes will eat homemade food. he later apologized on twitter and facebook calling her comment a tasteless joke. she looks cute there. i never wanted to offend anyone or to encroach human rights. my dream is connected to the olympic games i could not possibly participate if i did not respect their values. this wasn't enough. apparently greece dropped her from the team quote, for statements contrary to the values and olympic movement. what is the latest on this issue. >> did you get this e-mail about the triple jump? i don't know why we are covering it. i don't care. i am trying to get passes for the tie quan do stuff. >> mike, can you hear me? >> he doesn't want to do any work for. it. >> i don't know. we will figure it out. worst comes to worse we can pay somebody off and get in. just don't bring the camera. i don't care, whatever. >> mike? >> it is going to be a long summer. >> idiotic tweet, but should she have been kicked off the team? >> i think it is idiotic to think the public twitter time line is something that is private. there is no privacy there. if you are going to represent the organization or group or whatever you need to abide by their value system or recognize they could get canned. that's a possibility. i am a supporter of pre speech, but you are representing the olympics. don't put something out there that could be misconstrued unless you don't care. >> miss misconstrue or just plain stupid. >> it is england so it is privacy. >> since you h talking, you are actually immune from the diseases. they drink your blood and die immediately. >> it is amazing. >> why did i get a free ticket? >> i don't know. >> she was talking about -- no where was race -- she was talking about an area that people live in. she was trying to offend people from west africa. it is right there in black and white. she was trying to offend them, maybe apologize to them, but this poor, really hot girl has been training her entire life, and for a tweet, slap her on the wrist. maybe not let her go to the olympic cafe, but don't kill her olympic goals. as little as they are. >> here is the thing. i saw gavin's father say it wasn't racist, and it wasn't offensive. when somebody says there are lots of them in anyway, shape or form, that's not a positive thing. >> this there is a congregationre the there will be a lot of caravans is that racist? can't you make a generalization? there will be a lot of alcohol consumed. that's not blood erasist. bloody racist. step back. a joke is a thing that is based on the truth with a wee twist. >> the truth is -- >> she wasn't joking. >> of course she was. it is obviously a bloody joke. she said the west nile virus, clearly associated with africa. africans are over there. oh the bugs are going to be eaten home food. it is totally devoid of phobia. you need to focus on what is important. race is insane. >> i have no idea. >> it was the most stupid tweet tweet -- stupid comment from a woman who participate in the most stupid sport in the olympics. let's expel the triple jump, please. >> really, the greeks have laughed at anybody. you need to bail out from all of this? >> the moral to this story is nothing good comes from twitter, but the ultra moral is nothing good comes from twitter plus jocks. how many athletes when they get on have no idea what they are doing and what they are saying and where it goes. if i was running a company, and i had an employee that said something really stupid -- >> would you stop it with that? it was meed yolker. every time somebody sees something that is considered racist, all of the people that don't agree, they say that wasn't racist. it wasn't stupid. it was a reasonable joke. it was a perfectly okay joke. >> wouldn't you think though before you made a joke, take a minute -- every time we think of something amusing we say -- >> well because she is mad she might get expelled. >> you have to go shouldn't take a [bleep] here. you can't live like that. you have a good joke, let it out. you you can't be worried about the association. >> he's old school. >> stop saying it was stupid. it wasn't stupid. >> you are lucky this is now sealed. >> can i make one final point? i will sacrifice my point. can we have a picture of her on all four's again? >> there we go. you are welcome, america. >> that would solve all problems. they are wearing a contoured suit. >> it is politically correct. coming up, what does jedediah bila do to blow off a little steam? we discuss her mini steam blower she purchased from qvc, but first, what? babesbabes in bikinis? it must be a story about the euro zone debt crisis poses a risk to china. the spat over that continues. was the president talking about businesses or roads and bridges? perhaps diewlg campaign ads from obama and republicans can finally settle this. roll tape, roll tapers. >> taking my word about the small business out of context, they are flat out wrong. of course americans build their own businesses. every day they meet to pay payroll. we need to stand behind them as america always has. >> on wednesday the gop, not sure what that is, unveiled this. >> there was a great teacher somewhere in your life. somebody helped to create this unbelievable american system we have that allowed you to thrive. somebody invested in roads and businesses. and bridges. if you have a business, you didn't build that. somebody else made that happen. >> i think he stole that from me. i said that. which ad makes a more compelling case? better question, what is in this drawer? >> sorry. didn't mean to wake you. >> that's what i want to do when i go home. >> dream now and nightmare. >> jedediah, you are nodding in agreement with obama. why? >> this portrays him in his own words. this is what he said. there is no better ad the gop could have created than to just present his own words and say actually you did say that. he wasn't talking about roads and bridges. he was talking about businesses and it is as plain as day to me. >> jonathon you claim to be a president arer. >> well, somebody who is -- who never worked remotely hard, never owned a business, never been significantly employed and never built anything more than the le em o dinasaur. i am uniquely unqualified to talk about this. i do believe we would talk about real issues, bridges, roads. >> i love this. summer this is great to talk about because it fills buckets of time. you built a couple of businesses . >> did you see my son? he has sold dozens of companies. he sold at least two start ups, and that's what obama doesn't get. when you are a successful businessman you get a slew behind you. what is that company, sill linda? it is all of these stupid ideas. then he goes bankrupt and remortgages the house. hay doesn't understand that the secret to getting rich, it sucks. it is bloody hard. the reason it is a polarizing quote, it is everyone who has made some money. he says see you, you [bleep]. they mortgaged the house for the pet rock idea. so it took off. >> anyone in government who has spent several rights just goes, see, hun, she is rich. see all of those people, they are making him rich. >> the guy from wal-mart went door-to-door selling crap. that's not just america. [inaudible]. >> if we turned the volume down people would think this is hitler. >> hitler never made a dime, by the way. >> i know who to compare it to. i have seen how that goes. >> i want to get bill in before we take a break. the candidates are not talking to each other. it is almost like they are in a therapy session where one candidate says, well he said this. and then he said -- somebody else, i didn't say that. i said this. the other candidate says, huh-uh. it is them talking to each other. they talk through ads. it is like being in marriage therapy. >> but it is worse than that. bickering can be entertaining if it is clever. this is just awful. i say that because i have pbs. don't watch it, but i have previews. it sounds so simple that a third grader could see it. a third grader wrote it. one of the romneys is our grandkids and one of the 500,000 actually wrote that. a fun fact, all are named mitt. even the chick. you can look that up. >> i want to go to a break and clean up this mess. >> somebody has to clean it up. >> you can use an umbrella too. >> it is a good point. >> we don't use umbrellas. >> what do you use? >>- q. i nothing. -- >> nothing. >> are you kidding? >> do you have a comment on the show? e-mail us at red eye at fox news.com. to leave a voicemail 212-462-5050. still to come, the half time report from tv's andy levy. >> tonight's half time report is sponsored by bees, those flying insects with furry bodies that make buzzing sounds as they fly. thanks, bees. welcome back. let's see if we have anything wrong so far. let's go to andy levy. how are you? >> i'm great. i don't know why i keep asking how are you? >> it is not like you care. >> so insincere. >> olympic beach volleyball teams may have to wear a full body uniform. you said you grew up doing yardwork with your father. was it matching leopard print see doughs ? >> anything wrong with that. >> no. i believe we have a picture. can we put that up? we don't have the picture. >> disappointment. >> you tricked me. >> you seem to think there is no chance anybody watches beach volleyball because they like the sport? >> no chance. >> i do. >> no. >> yes, i do. >> you are a liar. you are an absolute liar. >> no, and i will go further. it is an insult to the athletes you said what you said. >> it is an insult to the truth you said what you said. >> i enjoy beach volleyball. >> i do not believe you. >> i don't care if you believe me or not. it is true. >> you know what this comes down to? somebody on the u.s. girl's team is following him on twitter. that's exactly what this is. exactly. >> a, that's completely not true. b, they are women, bill. they are not girls. >> have you no chance with that girl, gabby. >> it is 2012. come on. federation of volleyball rules say if they wear shorts they can have a maximum of three centimeters ssments they clearly know -- they clearly know what they are selling. >> i don't think there are pieces of cloth that small. >> that barely covers the fan knee. >> where is global warming in all of this? the one time you want global warming and it is not there. that's horrible, absolutely horrible. >> and a cheap shot at british teeth, man. >> i am not sharing mine. >> i believe we have a picture. >> what is your teeth doing in that thong? >> greek triple jumper kicked off the team for the tweet. i don't think she realized what she was saying. >> maybe are you about to do something pretty major. take a minute and think about what you are writing. >> i completely agree. >> you both think the tweet wasn't racist. i agree on the face it could not be racist, but taken in context with the fact that she has also tweeted videos from the golden dawn party -- >> come on, that's unfair. >> she is pretty much -- she seems to be a supporter -- >> that's right. seems to be. >> i am not getting in her head. i am responding to what she has tweeted and retweeted. golden dawn is a fashist party. in 2012 they campaigned on an anti-immigrant platform. it was, quote, so we can rid this land of fillet. pilth. brian -- filth. can we put the flag up? are you serious? you know who else had a flag like that? >> i don't know. >> v, the mini series. >> you have to get back to greek immigration issues. just forget that. treat the tweet as a tweet. >> i don't think it was a simple joke. let me finish. not necessarily racist, but anti-immigrant. >> the bloody athletes are doing the bloody games. >> the games aren't in greece. she was talking about how many africans are in -- not athletes. it has nothing to do with athletes. >> was she not talking about the african athletes are going to be in london? >> no. she said in greece, not london. >> in your defense, i had the same -- when i first read the tweet i thought it was about athletes. then i realize she was talking about immigrants. that's when i go, she's probably a jerk. >> that's still not bad. all she said was they will be eating home cooking. if you said there are irish in bar saw loan gnaw and there is a huge potato beatle biting people and they won't say they are eating home cooking. you wouldn't say, take it easy. >> i think if you support a party that calls immigrants fillet, and then you tweet something lyings that -- >> you don't know the immigration rules. that is a whole other ball of wax. >> greece is a mess because of the greeks. i do think given that greece is the birthplace of the olympics it is fitting the first person to get kicked off for tweeting is greek. >> good point my friend. >> why are you not mad about this? you should be furious, by the way. >> and yet i am not. >> it is an absolute travis stey. >> i am a libertarian and i don't like people who refer to immigrants as filth. >> it is hipocritical saying nothing good comes from twitter plus jocks. we all remember when the olympic swimmer tweeted, quote, have to shave for tomorrow, but can't shave my back. lol. you were on the first plane to the trial. >> you know that's true. >> don't say nothing good comes from this. >> apparently they were afraid it would conflict with the sponsors. >> romney obama ads. the believe only thing i have about this -- the only thing have i is they did a study asking people to what extent they think their candidates -- it is okay to be dishonest if it promotes the political agenda. people were okay from their own party being dishonest to help them from getting elected. jay that's sad. >> he did -- this is a slightly more endorsed position. it is a slightly more endorsed position for democrats and republicans. the democrats are more willing for their politicians to lie than the republicans. >> they love the ends justifying the means. >> see this is the thing with the left. they get a thing of cards and they go, i want this to be a royal flush. >> they say, oh that is an ordinary flush. >> a royal flush, here we go. >> i would like to give a shout out for the person who has to do the closed captioning for this program. >> that is going to be awesome. >> it is a blood erasist. >> my thoughts and prayers are with you sir and/or ma'am. >> the scary thing is i am beginning to understand everything he says. >> it is like shakespear. you get into the -- [inaudible]. >> as long as you watched "so i married an ax murderer" there is no problem. >> thank you, andy. coming up, what do kittens dream about? >> it is not a story. it is just something shep texted me today. >> what is the latest in potato ship packaging? the story president obama doesn't want you to hear. does a question to an advice column count as news? on on "red eye" you are damn straight. they wrote a column about awkward social situations with this pressing matter. she writes, every summer our chairman gives a pool party with relay races and other water contests. but i feel uncomfortable getting into a bathing suit in front of co, woulders. will my -- of co-workers. will my absence be miss con viewed? i believe special report lead with this to. . lead with this tonight. let's discuss this in the -- >> lightning roooouuunnndd. lightning round. >> this is universal, bosses throwing pool parties just to see their employees half naked? >> that's bloody rid -- ridiculous. it is a travis stey. it is a crime. i was at a bloody water park. >> roller park? >> water park. i was indoors. you don't get sun much, and these guys have water shorts on because they don't want you to see their boobies. it is in an age of vanity. all i did was make three human beings out of my vagina and i don't have a six pack. how did we get here? who cares, by the way? i am completely nude at all times. i don't care. >> jedediah, what advice would you give in this situation? should female sport bikinis at work pool parties ? >> i am always pro bikini no matter the job or the place. i would be wearing one right now if you didn't tell me no. >> have i nothing to say. i have nothing to say. do bosses care if younger employees don't show up? >> i have always been an old employee. i sways born 50. we are back to contoured body suits. it is the answer to everything. >> that is true of the. >> it is not like you see somebody fat and you say, they might be slim. you know you are huge. >> you are not hiding much. bill, as your boss i requested numerous times to see you in a bikini. what gives? >> you never pay attention to the man on the streets. i whack for you. >> i'll stop the world and wax for you. jay oh, the b side. this girl does not work in the media. if she worked in media she would know there could be a party at the waldorf and somebody in media will be wearing a bikini. so this is clearly a wall street-type gig. >> i don't want to see anybody i know in the swim wear. >> but it is a pool party. >> i want to see you in the. >> i am interested. >> do it as a pal. >> next story, a team of designers, are there any other kind, solving the problem of eating pringles potato chips. it is one of the greatest problems facing our public today. the concept transforms the can into a snack bowl once the paper sleeve is removed. it is like the polio vaccine, but way more helpful. does this make your day? >> this is brilliant. they just need a little mechanical hand to reach in and put the chip in my mouth, and we will be good to go. >> just hire a kid. >> i hire children because using the cylinder, i have a kid's hand go in there and get it. >> then you have the germs. >> jonathon, obama won a nobel peace prize without doing anything. >> and by the way, they are the inventors proving president obama's point, they did not build it themselves. >> jimmy, why did it take so long to come up with something this brilliant? >> a -- b, they are all upper class. they don't want easy access. why would you want easy access when you have huge bags? this is another example of people -- the elite not knowing what the working man is doing. working man digs in and chops a potato, by the way. >> you eat the chips, don't you? you throw them in there. >> we need starch. we are drinking! >> it explains the skin tone. >> i use empty pringles cans out by the highway when you can't find a bathroom. >> i use them as platform shoes afterwards. two things, first of all i was wondering who would be the first one to use this story to bash obama's nobel peace prize. it is a gimme. >> it wasn't me. >> my money was on jed. secondly, who uses bowls? i don't know one person even if they have a roommate that does president reach into the bag and get it all over their respective scott punish beards. and then you can eat it once again. >> why is your wallet on the table? are you trying to tempt me? >> what is going on? >> feed me. i only have $1. >> here is the problem with this whole story. when you open this can, you can't close it. you are going to have to restack the chips. it is a pandora's box of pringles. >> that's why you are fat. >> you are a deep thinker. >> have i to say i didn't come up with that on my own. >> did you call potato chip corporate? >> they sent you talking points. >> and i did it without an accent. i felt good about myself. >> >> he is getting surley. >> i'm surley. >> who got the whisky? >> i had to write that one down. when we return, another helping of mail time. it is mail time. the address is red eye at fox news.com. send me something to read and i will read it. here we go, maggie leads things off. you may remember she wrote about getting married soon. she writes, regarding the primanoctus thing -- prima. >> does that apply to me or my fiancee? just to let you know, the primi doesn't fit either of us. so you are saying the thing i requested doesn't apply to you or your husband? do you mean primi for everything? joe from san francisco says you are wonderful. i humble -- i love how you humble yourself by standing while everybody else sits. jm a 40 -- i am a ford-year-old saw mill worker and never laughed so hard at the tv. well, next time turn it on. steven says, i guess the only people who e-mail you know that you only do this one once every six months. we do it every night. but we edit a version of it every night to you and you alone. all of the good jokes. we replace it with cat videos and bill. welcome. >> from somewhere out there a friend asked if i would like to partake in a green substance that won smokes. it was as delicious as your show. >> here is hoping you are not miss piggy. >> finally, a disturbing, confusing letter from james. i have been watching "red eye" from the start. bravo, bravo, bravo. bough -- bravo, bravo. that can only mean it is time for me to marry the lead singer of match box 20, rob thomas. when i agreed to do this show they told me this letter would come, but they never said when. >> greg. greg, come back. i will see you tomorrow for "the five." we will have i'm ma -- imogen lloyd webber. back to tv's andy levy with the post game wrap up. >> it is primae. >> it is your birthday. what can we get ?u. >> i will be 30 and i would like nothing more than for greg to host wearing a mankini. >> i will do that for you. >> are you really 30? >> okay, 32. you got me. >> are you seriously 32? what am i doing wrong? >> there is a list. >> i was rhetorical. >> have you got an hour? >> jedediah, you have a new column coming out? >> yes at bright bart.com. i promise i make it interesting. check it out. >> gavin and/or jimmy, i don't know who this question is for. do you have a bone to pick with the state of iowa? >> it is ottawa. >> they are making me maintain a piece of property in front of a house that is not even mine. the city insists i will chop it down. if i don't, i will get a fine. is that bloody insane? >> what is a house? >> a house, sorry. >> you would have been better off in iowa.