when you go to europe and you think of some of the cathedrals in milan, the basilicas. but then when you go to the middle east, i think back to a few years back when one of the first christian churches in the world was destroyed. i think about how religion is suffering. you talk about relativism. it's under attack these days. i get faith and a sense of light when i realize 2 million people are coming through the cathedral. we don't know how many con re -y congregants of the church there are. you went from father of the church to father of a new baby. what was that like in. >> it was rocky, it was hard. it was a difficult decision.