We are feeling so single today on this with the hello and welcome back to the seventys of epithets trick debate. This week we are a library as capital of monrovia. Now you might be familiar with the expression strong african woman in this country, they suddenly having had a female president , elizabeth johnson. But this strength in women is sometimes discouraged when he comes through a magic relationship, particularly the applicant contents such as they want to find out why. Who better to answer this question for me then some like barriers. And were going to start with the couple on the panel. We have a couple this so loved up austin insurance. Hello. Thanks for joining us. So lets start with the basic question of your day to day when you wake up in the morning giving me a little clue about who does what in the morning, whats your morning routine, like since how youre really signing, let me start as well. Thank you. Um in the morning i wake up around 55 like 530 a get my kids ready for school wide. Hes dead getting ready for work. Okay, so what do you say thats your domestic responsibilities. Uh sort of equally splits between the 2 of you. Yeah, it is. Yeah. But i mean, this is not something easy, right . A lot of couples have difficulties doing this even, you know, more than weld austin. How did you manage to strike this balance . I think it comes more with the level of education. I grew up before getting into the relationship. So how do we couple of books before getting married . How to go to counseling for like 4 months. So we kind of prepare me. So basically im able to wake up Early Morning and get hot water for the kids. Im able to be bidding the little girl while she has to be ferrying cove out of something. So yeah, i think is good and i enjoy doing you abraham. Where are you . I know that to have a biblical name and also an old fashion stands on the concept of equality and relationships. Tell me a little bit about that. For me. I come with a african quarter background and they are. Ruth described to me both men and women. So if you know your responsibility and you know youre right and you know your limit, we can have discussion and this can go on. All right, so thats, im not assuming anything. Tell me what these responsibilities are based on your roles, and by the way, were keeping it strictly headphone number 2 for the purposes of this conversation. Yeah. So uh, for instance, um, i believe that most of your 1st choices, you know, are offered in context. Uh uh, the responsibility of the women, but the make them be of help. So let me tell you, im laughing because the women behind me really sighing, you substitute something then . Yeah, i would, i would like you to complete it please. So you started by telling me womens responsibilities in their relationship. I have to remember to one do all the Health Choice . No, i said most of the res response, most of the 1st choice is the womans responsibilities. So what does the man do then . You know, i will i be when setting is the head of the home and he actually is the one who provide security for the, for the home, for the family, hes responsible to, to, to provide for the home. Okay. Well nick, yeah. Who, who, who, who tell me, whats going through your mind because you were touching your fingers as he was speaking. I mean, i was the site that because weve got that when we disclose you have like a equality relationship. My thoughts are slow and i was like, no, so now actually you, how are you . Im defending what i stand for. Thats what im even jeremy. Oh. But its just my breast. I christian nation for us this. So having a man and the woman in the home, that can be no, you quite a just so okay. Just for clarity or nikia here. Definitely believes in the biblical rules assigned in christianity. And so you think that the mind is definitely the head and the woman should submit. All right and tell me what youre thinking. Theres always a female is a feminist, and an activist knowing that liberia was set on the basis of peach. Iraqi just explains why they are a no saying these different things. But when you look at who said those rules, whos who give the responsibilities of a woman take in charge of the firm and doing the choices. You wouldnt know that the men said those rooms and wish we believe was very bias, right . Because womens potentially is way be your own, just taking care of home. So i think there is a very big inequality based on the foundation of picture i key that was set up in our society that sets our system to be very bias, right . I want to hear from some people at the back, right. Let me get some reactions. Come close to, to me please. I want to and the american young get caught me the hust with just school. Take yellow. Somebody moved that mary swift with did this just to stick to the house. I love your little punch will be the society. Its like it going to be what it would mean. Yeah. Okay, thats a good question that shes asked uh, lets have somebody else here. Im gonna try to listen to this nice, then it gives the each low will mind having you go right, remain home. And i that is right. Im here the monrovia to defend our culture and woman was based on mississippi, and nobodys still happy like the reason why weve had a few minutes. Were having women, i to visit it because of the other flat education. So would you rather be just stayed at home once educated like thats the role of the month. They have to be what they have to to give the house of the woman that it has to them. It is that thats, thats the best decent. Thats all quite sure why, especially especially one as themselves was as you adopt or the book culture. Okay, so quick question. Im a woman here whos doing this job of asking questions, and moderating. I would say im independent. Does that bother you a yeah, it. Well maam, you know, african culture must not be defend and itd be like, youd have been an awesome day. Of course i did you up on the day or something and many in the, in the village. What if i told you that in my culture, women actually the heads of the home by so culture, you know, gods, i was sitting here in the back onto the women. Us know something is it . Uh, lets hear from the people who was not being oh, yes, i believe the minute the week. Yes. Being on f men of the weakest beings on us. Okay. So they use those rules totally made. We mean because we make and once he talks, we make up your professional 1st thing, it can be a host wife that can be a family person and then can do that. So the limit that you mentioned was send to you. So you are supposed to be on particular position for you to and so are you a marriage or release or she is not that. Yeah. Okay. Uh uh, just just a 2nd. Let me just bring this uh group to back to order. Yeah. So that we can get to rooted back in our conversation. So there are a few issues that have been raised here, which i want to just check with. The 1st one is that african culture dictates that the mind is the head of the home. But this is not true across most african culture. In fact, most of them a matriarchal. So what happens to your arguments then abraham . So it might actually be argued that it is an african to be patriarchal. What we see it is been taken out of context because um, and no disrespect or financing a lot of people. No, no disrespect, but the is a responsibility assigned to somebody. And that does not take away maybe a help or maybe a butler to my fiancee. But our african quarter, it says that as far as route to everyone, so that role should be respected. And we shouldnt allow west in us to impose yeah, caught your understanding of what a family is, one of african. Okay. So let me come back to the couple of the even holding hands. Let me tell you we are feeling so single today on this this. So when you hear some of these a sessions, i can imagine that there must also be people in your family who also have quotes similar views committed to assess the letters you work up and you know, wash the dishes, youre the man. You work up. Just get ready for work and move on, you know, and then you start to follow that. I dont get a while as you do that. So were going to have the money. And what is going to shop people . Is that, or the moon you as a, me, you benefit a lot if those equality in the home. So i thing was you have that. So our, were grabbing was the shift is normal. It keeps, it keeps us happy. You know from that is, is a lot funny to your mother goes to visit you and dentist, easy. Washington dirty clothes. Shes like, why is my phone rousing very close . Okay. Yeah. So shantelle, let me hear from you. Did you get grief from the in laws youre making the sun . What this is, how day let, lets say this is quote to have or healthy husband in the home is very, very good. It helps you relax. My wasnt with my ready. Oh, cool, cool. Bought. But you bought i, i can read it in july and when he from e x i do read it. You saw it when you find me plenty. Hes not ready. Okay, cool. Right. All right. Let me just what i mean. Even the bible, im a priest that she is, even the bible says you should submit one to another. So its not about the most. Im missing to you, the man, but you guys got to submit to each other. I have to come to a nikiya bucks for that. Um that last of so i may do one to another. Is other places while were talking about and then sorry, let me just go back a bit. Which on to it was plugged in. She mentioned, i bought my house myself in so that there was some way of i have this fax to do and ill call you on all of that for that move. Its actually a my is let me go fill in when it comes with a list of mets in the morning or in the home that shell be hit. And that is a resume. And thats not if we have precedents, right. I will, there are work in place if we have bosses right. Let me know who that should be a hit. Okay, so because you mentioned president , i mean, if this is your position, right. How did you feel when liberia you left to the female president s . Did you feel it was also for kids that shows that women also lead way . Well, that doesnt mean that have the president info who is she had walked. It doesnt mean that watches the president of the republic of liberia, such as going to be the death of a who. Okay. I know theres something that was mentioned regarding the choice of woods, you know, and i think, nick, you explained it really well. The use of the would help shuttle has said its again, you know, my husband helps around the house. Are we using the correct language here because of uh what you said. It implies that the job is yours and somebody is coming to us. Yeah, i think were not using the right words because its not help right out manage projects. And one thing i know of a partnership is that you have 2 different people with different ideas and different backgrounds coming together to agreed on something that the one to do is she has similar values, right . And thats the same with partnerships. So theres no one coming to help the other because if you the other is down so its not like i will see it. I go back again to see that some side see what is Foundation Allison site that was being buyers. And this is why you see education like you talk about west teen people coming. Change is inevitable because of education, right. The things we knew 10 years ago have changed the way when we did things we no longer do with right. Weve come to realize to put censure of women, especially looking at us having the precedent of seeing new price it in right. And looking at what she was able to achieve inward term and how she approved the issue of in quality. And we may split taisha not just in like bureau, but regionally, and as well globally. So tell you that we may have more, we may have more potential and not just hold us. Um, so i see it having been cancelled. Okay. Let me hear from my duty for a 2nd because we havent spoken to her. You just want to investigate this idea of the head of a home because because no one has talked about partnerships in the contemporary well that we live in today. Do we still need that classical head of a home where i have no interesting relationship anymore . It is because of what i went through when i was a relationship. So i had to quit 2019 because uh i had an a deal save pregnant. Well while it protective, and he was very abusive. So i went to it. I held my god like king. After woke up in the morning in. What . So what sucks but bucks are in what it will be. I mean, we have to be 33. 03 sweet sweet, sweet sweet. I need to understand is what do you mean would stocks but what, what, what, what help him dress up in the morning like a child was what i went extra martin, you know, helping my relationship. Okay. And to have a question for you as he was treating him as a king, as he was saying, which by the way, absolutely. Was he treating you as a queen . Well, he was abusive. He was really abusive. So he has actually to mid me till lost interest in having relationship. And when i see people are like, you know, couples and you know, i feel like theyre not being true to each other. Yeah. Okay. So obviously not all relationships which have that dynamic will end up in abuse. Yeah, lets just be clear about that. However, it can, because this is a power dynamic that has not been addressed. So how do you bring how to navigate this . So for me, people always put or have a negative connotation. When it comes to head, are we not saying that there will much would be the one to address you is not, is that it will most responsibility to address you. If that is happening, thats abuse. Knowing your rules is different from being abused. Ok, but because you keep coming back to roles and responsibilities, right. And a question was asked, who gets to decide what the rules and responsibilities are . Its the head of the home. In this case, according to your argument, the man, how do you know when youre taking it too far . Um, so we live in a society and we have our african quarter. So thats what i said, you need to know. Youre right. Thats the 1st thing i said is, you know, youre right. You can be, you can be in a relationship and you have values. So if someone is going, theres a value thats a no, no, im saying that the ascribe for men and women who, who are done very clearly. Okay. I mean thats your position and thats perfectly fine. Weve had many things rights, including this additional list. We think thats we mentioned even be educated, right. These are realities in this country. So what are the consequences of such extreme viewpoints, right . Weve seen in your case unfortunately, abuse. What are some of the consequences in your society . No. Yeah, of course i was just going to point out of the issue of, of abuse. The issue of a violent communication is then going to generate and get another generation of young people that will be very violent in their different actions. All right. Have to guess a fabulous one, right . Yeah, its cool, but my point is if youre saying that it would be should be equal. Why i submit to pay a diary why estimates say i wouldnt buy what ever it is about a minute. Where you go to the wedding, sit company that way, right . So why cant you pay them and dive it says you want to be. Well see what you, what to pay the diary that we know youll see something here. So if you pay the mans out of it, then we know the 1. 00 quantity, but one of them is spare. Your direct. Yes, i see. Uh, obviously it, but us on the control. Let me let me. Oh, comes on tell because because if bright price has been paid, then technically youll under his control. Do you agree with this or not . Well, he has to pay money for his wife. That doesnt mean that the web should be on the why you are on top it both of you should be equal. Because to both of you, i want to make you also better or better, please. Not all possible grow. Ok, lisa, i want to hear from you because the question of right price is it time to perhaps get rid of some of these traditions. If we are getting in the way of quote unquote, progress thing is time. And theres no other turned in now because the issue youve asked to use award control, we in the fact that women should be called and called control, is it the men losing the masculinity . Whereas the powers scituate, they know, who is the rest of your brothers shoulder and man which ill do, i am the main. Theres one the moment is, is that he lost his masculinity because he has no power for the fight that youre talking about. I have the control over this, i want to do this. I want to do that. I should do that you, unless its got the point youre talking to, to come through with. If i die one might have a level of understanding to knows what you need to do. She knows what she wants to do. So have your standing in a way thats the time you make the announcement. Im the man here because you feel just picking up the steps to be what she wants to be. If you have fred, they view rather to comply with you a many this place they were, i try to bring them down to the i agree because they will not understand where to put the 0 to complex. We do have to wrap up at some point and my duty, and i do want your opinion on this. When it comes to the professional space, were talking about an inferiority complex here, lisa, alluding to men, perhaps feeling small, which is why they need to a set themselves overly. But what does it do to be met in a professional space when domestically at home . Your husband or your father, keep telling you this is your place. This is your place. Can you fully participate in society at every jews as your output in limits, you know, and it makes you to have no confidence in yourself. And i can tell you when i was going to all of those abuses, my output wasnt good at all. When i go to work, i transfer aggression. I was the happy. I wasnt myself right now. I few. I feel good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah im, im really glad that you, your feeling much better now and really thank you for sharing. So as we conclude this additional list has left us, but oh, hes yeah, hes, yeah, we had requested at the beginning of this debate, which was why us wrong. We meant for you had so in relationships and weve had quite a number of view points here. The question now to conclude is, is there a reason to change that dynamic . Should we go back to our old ways that we continue as we are . Is there a needs to even standardize and why let me hear from, oh, i am so afraid to bring the microphone to you. But lets hear you. Lets say your point is a need that will go back to our tradition. And the reason why were having this debate is because we have to have someone else now, so we have it down to the western culture. And that is that, that is what all women are risk that hit that. Yeah, were using that voice and noise will happen. When we wait, no technicians who are part of the political us and that was happy, we must have missed it. But it was to the core to not have to do everything. And that is why we, i havent been in that as im probably assuming this and that its all about why you want edit, cuz now we may just find a new home. Okay, so let me just, are you working for example . And you must have female bosses. How do you respond to that . Oh, of having a bus mean a female is going to come to get it because i really dont see her being submissive. Sometimes she just, she just was point. Know how to man, and that is my high supposed to be so well not being a bus that can be of them abusive to me. Oh, okay i, i honestly cannot believe that i am hearing these words in 2023 but but, but i, but i mean youll, youll, youll view points, let me get one last one. He had been abused with eagle and because of the eagle, the having game that you were born with, i dont know of is nature. Thats why they dont fit 10 know to assess 17th. Does that mean when the latest mickey higher income then the mind he feels belittle off without leaving that itd be anything he feels like . No im im the one was supposed to to mikhail incom then hor, so push us forward because when we me i am power with me. I educate telling me i learned this aside to become better because come on with carrier children in our rooms for 9 months, which is huge. So i mean, were on dustin relationship because weve gone with them for 9 months when they come outside and weve been with them and even the hoss wanting to, oh, we sometimes think of them as babies. The alpha as boss has already come on. The babies meant to support women, then we can be able to be a home and a Society Better than all right. Let me hear from this gentleman who has been trying to speak with me the entire time. Lets say your view point. What about a big the account . What am i . Is that a love homer . I respect and took care of the home for my be now at a kid there. So you know, set up bringing money sort of will respect a man and a more they will have lots of a lot of again im going to go to feed on the air and it just like a man. But youre seeing chantelle here being super loving and she has a job and shes educated. I must say, well my dont work. Thats not my point. My point is that she must still have the respect. See what shes sick and what to do as a woman in a home. All right, so lets draw attention back. You know, want to gets Closing Remarks normally at this point of the debate would be asking people for solutions. But after hearing all the diverse opinions, im not sure that there is such a thing of solutions. And so lets find out what your Closing Remarks as upon this, well finish with you guys. Lets start here. Just bought a one more point. You beauty in the room, it doesnt give a right that she and i met the i built equally. Right. So for me, i believe we just need to go back to our christian not says web bill or push the foundation. And then of course, that just by being of few minutes or whatever, given different views, we are christian as west who knows. We want us to accept everything to bring to us and wish you disregard ours and im against i m. Lets sit down me and understand our womens. Sure not as this or women should not be. Leaders will just sit and have a conversation. Mean is that agreed are women should be e 45050. We just sit and have a conversation and the conversation we did before. All right, so more dialogue, i like that from the side. Lets do some closing remark a. We did a bridge systems that were limits. We mean, we need a workload system that will put me behind. We cannot have our tradition, our quotes are suppressing, we mean keeping that as a buyer, as a buy rocky, that women cannot move beyond this because these are you more than just in it. So i think that these are framework conversation, we help us. Okay. And finally we started with a couple, id like to end with them. Weve had so many view points here. Do you think that the kind of relationship that the 2 of you have with some people might see us aspirational is on the threats . We work up in the morning as a man and getting ready for work. When you stand before that mirror, just see a human being. When you see your wife see a human being sheed her that way, man. You are going to be happy. If you bring that woman dot equal point, youre going to be happy. The one thing most of it done is yours. We have smalley on facebook. So the thing that we have a Good Relationship on feasible, but beyond facebook, we are really good and weve been good for 5 years. No complaint, not to anybody, because we are just equal and we have this agreement on odds and wish when weve been here. It depends the idea that were pushing we have up, which is a better idea. We go by that. Thank you. That is a beautiful place to rock this debates. We have had some very controversial remarks today, but also what a nice way to wrap it up. Think 1st and foremost of your partner of human. Thank you guys for watching the, [000 00 00;00] the, the the, whats new tell here. We are happy that we are back to the story. 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