And weve seen that from people like Elizabeth Warren and we see that in protests like occupy wall street ecl rage in some places but not always from the Business Community sometimes it is the letters of support would that this was wrong but Everything Else is so extraordinary. Is this pretty remarkable so to see in those individuals that it makes sense in a different and context but if you were in the position of privilege presumably if you havent figured out how to donate the money then you are not a great person which is very different than if they dont have that privilege you dont get to have that letter of support buy you have changed these communities. So the question is wonder do need to have that outrage coming from the people . But that is a cultural shift. So to that standpoint that they see those same kind of afflictions you want to support and said that it is not that bad to protect yourself that this same time that you should be able to call up those mistakes when they are made in this is the challenge that to see the executives of the firm stood mistakes but it is about four steps later where in many cases i would believe shareholders then the public and regulators would be much more forthcoming to say and mistakes have been. The other kind is extreme but to clearly say well were doing to change those and that degree of transparency with political discourse went taut one side internal or extra all and this is what we doing to address this. Host we could spend a lot more time on this is a fascinating book as the former prosecutor with a perspective on individual side did not have the my for rules saw as a personal thanks to you for undertaking a the work and is of great time to spend with you congratulations and thank you for sharing our website, booktv. Org. [cheers and applause] good good evening. Thanks for coming out tonight i am on a the coowners of politics and prose my husband is right here on behalf of our great staff we would do think our friends and partners we love to do even see year. How many of you have beenin here before . I can see where you are coming back it is one of our favorite venues and we are excited for tonights event. You have been given instructions on how this will proceed as we year are under did is up pleasure to introduce a woman recognized by millions of people most of us know her as one of the most influential all journalists and toughest journalist on television, a highpowered lawyer, mother of three and now an author. Monahan megyn kelly is here to talk about her new book. [applause]th settle for more is a this a memoir but there is an art to write teeing a memoir is dead even more to a good memoir or a great memoir because it has to tell the truth and, you cannot pull punches and the author of author must be willing to expose their own vulnerability is about who they are in what they are about and settle for more is a great memoir it is great. She takes us through her childhood in upstate new york per career as a corporate lawyer then she abandon that life and her evolution as a professional will then as a spell said the mother then takes a deeply Critical Role at herself including some personal demons looking for professional success. Ook, it another point, it is really, really funny. It is hilarious in in places as she has had incredible quick wit that may explainos pest has survived the challenge he in firemanswork i she has been added. I will not mention any names and if it is any consolation if you are following the of local news where politics and prose in is located we know about the reall consequences of the fake news story and we are with you. But an but to help us get to the heart of the book we are very lucky to have a superb broadcast journalist katty kay known here as the washington anchor bbc world the use you have seen her on and meet the press we are delighted issue of bien conversation tonight. [applause] wishes have one hour of applause list just do that that is hell i will open the kellyfrye hill tonight. This book to were is the opposite of the internet to. [laughter] eightyfour coming i knowedig uh traffic is hell so we are especially appreciative that you are here we are friends full disclosure it will be a treat to sit and talk to her for an hour but i readd settle for more over the weekend it is great it is sunny it is honest i have to read mitt that what was first asked to do this how is somebody your aid to write a memoir . . You are just are doing in life. I started that because originally would write a book called cupcake nation we cds millennial said cannot function any sort of a fence and a really irritates me becketts to me so i call it the cupcake nations are was going to write a book on that but then realized there is a reason i am like this and the reason i feel this way i thought i could explain it better of how i got to this place. But the bottom line is is an opportunity to grow and become stronger. And those that had kept me in a bubble how would have ii handled the past year . So the reason that i could handle the reiteration of support this is great she is almost a british she takes the purpose of everything laugh laugh. So what i and love about your parents is the idea is and may sound counter intuitive and that not everybody is a winner. And then get the trophy just for showing up. Me kind i had enough of that. My parents attitude is not you are special but youou dont seem that special so far and that is fine by as year openminded but we dont see that yet and that was a gift because we felt zero pressure you did have to be not funny but had to have a good sense of humor and had to engage. But it worked out very well for me and that started with my mom and dad and anticipation and make the point in the book isnt that they didnt give you praise they did but there was no pressure to achieve. Is bob this is really about her family but and then you go on and dog and don. On a to say shut her up. Maker shut up. To teach these students every night all five of us had dinner together every night were growing up. So what is the report . What is the report . Would g and there were always these and, cyclonic cancers and then say maker shut up my dad would say you had your chance and now you will listen to her. Actually my friend propose to name the book that. But there are two incidents over the course of us childhood like what happened when you got into seventh grade . Middle school in is a brutal anyway and that sector debt chapter and the book is called me and girls. It is still hard to talk about to this day i just turned 46 and this happened when i was 12 so do theve math. But i could still get terry if i look back at what happened and. And it was never one ofgo those. That she will be with us for a long time. Gr the reason why it is so great and then it came from my dad. And then say i will go with my mom. I was a junkie my hair was hideous that was my friends fault. But i did not vote could. Do not picture this version of me were they paid to make me look good. Curren so i did have currency and that was important to me and for whatever reason the group just turned on me. Or do and it requires no reason. Did dont require motivation they just turn. Mean, and it was then just they didnt want to hang out with me but i was repulsive to the and you could feel that as i would walk down the of hall causally making comments about my body, my skin and it culminated in a horrible episode and i will say i know people have had it so much worse i know thate in but at the time i did not have that perspective i was home with my parents on a saturday night twostage you know, where the people from my party are correct size said no. Elled and they all yelled into the phone. Brcs year progress still get upset because it was so cruel i was already feeling so vulnerable. My parents were watching me. I had not disclosed to the guy was being bullied. It was i was outside in the darkness with a face streaming with tears in my felt so isolated and alone and targeted and it did not stop until the spring when a beautiful angel named heather shepherd sat next to me at lunch and befriended me for no particular reason. Om by then my mom knew something and said you just need one. Ed and she befriended me and changed everything. Really. And we remained friends for years but i never fullyor that articulated how all grateful i was in tel this book. Knows my she knows my mom did both still live in albany and she read it and she called my mom and said she helped me to which meant so much to me. But to this day i cannot tolerate police. And i do take one upside. [laughter] what . You have done a little more than go out to the backyard. I do have some empathy for true victims i dont like the word victim is selfdefeating and to have the ability of those who have had hard times. You are clearly very close to your mom and dad why did you tell them . I was ashamed. Felt th i felt their propulsion. I believed that i was repulse event i was doing wrong. That was not likable but my parents did value that. Like normal parents wanted me to have friends. I right in the book i was leading the house nih bylaws and i know little girl who did not brush her hair today and out i went. For the record i would say by sure here but they didnt put to pressure on me to look good but there was an understanding that i should have friends and i was embarrassed that i did not. It to have a Good Relationship that night he ed you had a row the fact with your dad when he died. Actul i have never told the story publicly. This memoir and i wrestled with that if i wast not sure how much i wanted to disclose. Genee that are kind hearted but there are haters out there. And this is what it is like to be up public figure. It is interpol to fly minnesota there are other people out there who have lost somebody under less than ideal circumstances. So for the record we had a beautiful relationship by hes only 15 when he died. Fortyfive no heart problems. Then 10 days before christmas he dropped dead of heart attack. Upid fig it was a stupid fight over a class ring i wanted a nicer class ring than what we can afford he was telling me we cannot afford that and i would not let that go. He had it and he walked out of the kitchen and threw up his hands and he never got mad. My mom was on the edward and would get mad. She walked out and walked past him to go upstairs to my bedroom and my last words he was staring at the Christmas Tree in the living room alone. That is something i have to live with on those terms because the next thing that happened is my sister came into my room wake up daddy had a heart attack. He was never revive to. Rightabout going to the hospital and not know if you have ever lost anybody but not having a chance to say goodbye to my mom was 44 at the time with three kids to in college then be who wasd 15 years old she does not have a lot of money. My dad just canceled the major insurance policy that we had. Reset i am 45 years old. A hearp he was not a heart patient so we had money problems facing us the she was such an example for me. Ver said she cries all the time i do too obviously. Were just having a therapy session. But you have to function in the face of the emotional upset. To function and the face and that is something i can do. So he talked about how she was strong but tell the story as you are a lawyer you get to york and you come home and you cry. And to say stop playing the victim. It is unattractive. E out of that jolted me add of my Self Pity Party because now youre being ridiculous. Tough it up, of buttercup. Honestly that helped me to this day. That sums it up about what i want to say to every millenial end the generation of. [laughter] my eight kids are babies at three, five, and seven that could be cruel. And then the participation trophy went right into the garbage. [applause] went to my kids is school and she said what is the core message i said you are not special. Mom of the year award but in the context that i just delivered it to you for quite dont jump for joy everytime they give me a piece of paper with three letters like theyre the next picasso. That is nice i try not to tell them i love them to death i tell them that but i dont tell them howdo extraordinary they are all the time but i am openminded to extraordinary should it. you become aware in then i have more exciting than this. I put those journal entries in a the book. A Little Bridge it jones dirae but i have them practicing law over nine years and does a kid from upstate new york get mental lot to be a lawyer. Now people will have to take me seriously. Robot i virs indict and tough and i am serious. So i was reluctant to walk away because it meant something to me and myself in it but i did run headfirst into that brick wall of happiness than you get to a point you cannot deny it any more. Blades and mediocrity are hard the when you are dreadfully unhappy you have to get out. So how did you get into journalism but you could go to a lawyer to laugh broadcast journalist . Bin dai was rejected from the Newhouse School at syracuse which allowed to remind them of that now. [laughter] they dont care but it does for me. [laughter] so when i decided to leave this is something i always wanted to do maybe i could do this now but it isnt that easy to jump into a career of broadcast journalism so i was determined without the immediate plans but in retrospect i feel like my father may have had a hand in because his guitar playing is the theme of the block and and we never took a fancy Family Vacation really isnt too late ontario he played the guitar around the campfire we would dance and saying. Dance, t so i tried to learn guitar those taking them one week when i was the unhappy lawyer than a woman it turns out was a producer for the nbc affiliate in chicago which i did not even know. But she missed class one weekend because the Space Shuttle had blown up by said where were you . She said i and in news. And honestly i believe this stuff like this. There is the reason i was in that guitar class and white connected with this woman this beautiful womane hand sometimes delays dont extend that he and of generosity one but she was the opposite with endless generosity and gave me tips how to get into the business when i had my first job then fox news hired me. What is the mostt rewarding aspect but. Definitely the responsibility that they have given me and i have earned. It isnt so much speaking truth to power but being able to hold people in power accountable. That is the most rewarding aspect you can ask laugh hard questions than they they to deal with you. So assuming that position they have to take donald trump he avoided me for most t of the year that doesnt mean it didnt have the chance to hold accountable, i did Ed Hillary Clinton never came on. Not once. That did not serve her well laugh laugh. [applause] so that this the best partso but the worst part to i would definitely say the security threats i have had to face and as much as i tried to avoid all mine vitriolic i hated to it is sold killing. Host over the course of this year you went from being summoned to a report on the news to becoming the focus of the news in thatht. Have been after the first Republican Debate the question about how he has talked about with bin in the past so what happened . Actually back up what happened before you lastrd that question it was extraordinary leading into that. So that is the prequel to that question in there was one mw trump and i always had a Good Relationship prior to that debate we were not friends but friendly and then i did a segment of week before about his divorce and it was not my story it was the daily beast had broken about his divorce 30 years ago in which in sworniv deposition testimony ivanaac said he raped her and was extremely brutal and extremely nasty and very detailed and the daily beast brought up this story because he said mexicans are sending rapist and their point was speaking of rape, that is why when there. My point by having the daily beast reporter was to tell the other side to challenge the reporter to say she recanted that testimony, she does not stand by it was 30 years ago , it was a contentiouss divorce which people notoriously lie, so how did you account for that reality in your reporting which i did not think was skeptical enough of those allegations because we were not dredging up his divorce it was somebody else. I put him on and challenged him but donald trump was not happy i put this story on het wasnt happy be given any year time that all and he insisted i call him that monday before the thursday debate u. S. Supposed to come on that monday and he would not unless the called him personally so i called him and it did not go well. He said you never should have put that story on that show said you did a favor every betty want was talking and she recanted bill oreilly did not put that on his show licet for bill riley is not on my editorial page piece said and never one to see that on your story again i said mr. Trump you dont control the editorial on the kelly file in that is when he blew and started to yell at me you are a disgrace you should be ashamed of yourself one i will put my twitter account against youthe s and i still may. Had since spirit that is the same bullying from seventh grade. En un of firewood classified that as more of an angry politician but the threat of the triggerhi accounts was clear ended this point irt had that will then question drafted by already know i am asking this in the opening round that is electric hard questioning that had been in the bag for weeks one so no way in the deposition i know he is angry he feels antagonized he wasnt but he feels that way and he was spending those days sniffing around the executives to you goi deal miao what you going to do with her . Nobody told me he was tryingar to get me pulled but it was very focused on me. I thought this a be the biggest news story if they knew that he has called every executive van the building prior to the first debate but i was not thatac liberty to reveal that our conversation that he had gifford me permission to read field nor did i think it was appropriate i did not want to screw up the debate even then i had this sense he may not show up if he was even angrier. Then the had the debate and the arrest is history. [laughter] so if you ask the of question was there bullying that followed . That it prompted not just from mr. Trump but from hismr twitter account you were really put under a lot of pressure. Was vicious. I would say there was the attempt if you look up the definition of talks abouta obtaining a desired effect and he did not obtain that desired effect but as a credit to my team at the kelly file because it was hard to hold the line andd night after night and not cover him to harshly because my life was threatened and not cover him to gently because it wanted him to stop the nonsense tortuga please them so i made a promise to the audience after he came after me and would continue to cover him without fear or favor one but is still wirth says a journalistic principle i had a team of people that helped me to do that. Was hard because the plane tried to make in the interview that i want others to know right now why included this is when donald trump comes after you it isnt just a tweet i understand he is of fighteran he really is an counterpunch i get that but even then he had such power that is henkel tweet could unleash hell in somebodys life i am not even a civilian damage journalist and he put beyond of Playing Field where i belonged on the sidelines but we cannot have a president to do this to themem because they criticize him because most people dont work for a company that nets 1 billion per year and can hire round the clock security for somebody like me and i have been under arm to guard at 416 months and so have my children. Its is not inappropriate price to pay for hardhitting journalism. Therlause] there will be the effect of those powers that be better not held to account and it doesnt just come from the politicians but when the of politician turns on you and really is an army that is besieged by attacks. It is to shut us up by do worry about those young reporters and it cost a lot of money to have around the clock security and cannot go on forever it has to go away it cannot keep afflicting the bills you have to except s that reality but that vast majority have millions of them watching the kelly the kelly file every nightyoua i dont like what they said about you but they can hold those ideas in their head. It is the far corner of the internet that enjoy is that nastiness and the threats there is a man who works for word donald trump gustav is there is a man who needs to stop doing that to his name is dan is the nasty place. Somehow allows people to be that much more vicious if they had to put their name they would not send half of that. But when it crosses over to a physical threat to. At day watch your show at home when broadcast later bin . Not usually. Because i dont get home until about midnight if i am lucky my husband is a wake we will talk about our day we will talk about how the show when antiwill watch itusul but dont usually watch it unless they thought something was bad and then say we screwed that up nobel what about that impostor syndrome . That is an interesting question wife feel like iha have not had a huge selfconfidence problems in my life and with that honesty whenever had experienced because really i assumed i was mediocre great i will pursue this. As defin when i was a lawyer i was not this artist i was against these Harvard Law School graduates they have special brains. So i would work 10 times harder than anybody so i can hang with them and i did but it was exhausting but socially i did have some insecurities socially so i c right in the book cow Cheryl Sandburg i a did became friends she newline was going out to the powerful womens conference brands but she wanted me to meet i should need to then in the bar and these are really powerful women where i supposed to walk into the bar and then i think of my gosh nobody bushels stop me because they dont want methis e has this ever happened to you . Like but one of the problemsver happ somebody says it has never happened to her so that i was disappointed in myself i did not try harder to make a connection but then at the conference she interviewed me and i told the story. And all the of with the n word in the audience i wasas supposed to meet up with the most extraordinary thing happened my email lets up with all those women to say we did not see we would have loved to have seen you pick another date it was so sincere and ibm believe it is and i thought shit. [laughter] sometimes you are your own worst enemy. You talk about going to therapy and it is related to this because you say you wanted to be in vulnerable but then you realize theyel surround themselves that have the strength and humanity to say youre trying to be too perfect you can tell if you are faking everybody will tell but you had to learn something. This is the odd moment in the beginning of my decision. More means more. But i had got into fox newsintoo ive brought and that messaging that came to be from all different circles was the same so first data w negative experience average hugh masami and he said you know your problem you are just as foldable as anybody else so people think they can hurt you with impunity he said love the wholeka package now who is the real you . You i said would be talking about . It is still lake of postal bully. You cannot occur me. I am strong. The first time somebody asked me to take off the shelf which is scary. That i was seeing a therapist because i was considering leaving my first has spent. One for the record i have a Good Relationship with now but i was struggling with that decision and. And my feelings were hurt. I think maybe they do not want me maybe theres something they dont want progress felt bad again i went to the womens group they were right outside my door talking about happy hour i thought that would give us soft shoulder even better i got honesty. The one woman said i would not have invited you either. I said by quack she barely even knew me and she told me why she said it was psyched final exclamation point and what i started to sense in my own life that what you project is offputting and intimidating and not that likable. She said honestly if i sat next you i feel like i have nothing to relate to. You never have the bad hair day. Will this perfect berger you always have it together for so many years i would have thought good. Is working. [laughter]to 2006 wa but that was up beginning of thought recognition it was the self defeating mechanism in i m happy to tell you through hard work i do believe it is the reason i found my husband and my three kids with true frenchgl ships that i struggled with earlier and i believe it is the secret to my success as a broadcaster. You always see so placed howdy you maintain your composure greg spanish she is not. She is a mess. [laughter] i have learned to control my temper. I am Irish Catholic the other half is italian for iy am able to control my temper and that is the key is a cage to feel a notional or to feel the tears but thegr same is true when you are a angry i have moments on the set where fighting dont get angry. Dont get angry. But i am. And then dont show your anchor. I am not a monkey i do not have to act on all my instincts i can talk myself through at and so can you. Roger ailes is hovering along the edges so with the of revelation in the book that your relationship with roger that when you first met him he was a great mentor to you he really helped you so this is hardr when somebody tells you you have to change. So he was responsible for launching your career but then the relationship changed. It did i felt it was important to leave the good things about roger in the book even though chapter 24 has become known. It was added late because the scandal broke late so when i had a decision do i have to scrub the book because i was also learning about tim in the end it thought that was dishonestno because he is not all bad. He is not all good. The long and short of it this the chapter of which i am the most proud the one that i worked the hardest i wrote and rewrote and rewrote that chapter until every word has been poured over by me, my husband, Close Friends that i would dare to show it to. Te so you will see the completete picture when you read it and i urge you to do that because i be sure to tell the whole story in context, when all of those interviewsyo innersole annoying but why did you come forward earlier . So i went to say fuck you to you for saying that any young kid to ask we thatt unless there is a safe reporting and that better be the next question. [applause] so that this the headlinebu but the story is enjoined fox news as my dream job they do not work parttime p. Hired me with a greater opportunity than 12 months into my tenure he called me to york sat down steve me great advice including now who is the are real you . The untold part of thatt meeting was it would be coupled with highly inappropriate sexual references. I dont speak the queens english as you have come to see. That was for you laugh laugh and. Can you had to make sureau that i got it. [laughter] i also dont offend thatdi easily we love dirty jokes. Sold in parts i thought dole be too uptight but then you cross the lines like that is inappropriate. You know when that happens i could fill four pages but i did not want to go there because you could decide for yourself if it was Sexual Harassment or ambiguous than to see the evidence to judge for themselves. It was a terrifying six months because i am understood my career was on the line. I knew there is no way i would do anything and it is not because of appearance but because of the likelyity. I knew very likely would end in disaster because i assumed at some point it would escalate physical that i would have to reject aboutha white outright slide against the dance back to work. And in that worked okay for me i could get out of their volatile when that are shaking their heads yes said a share this because i will say 90 percent may be that is too high but they have this experience in one way and delighted bin think really . Any way it did clayton ofth physical attempt i was with the company 18 months at that point i am not one of us megyn kelly of today i had no power. And he was on o. He was on the cover of the industry magazine. I did not want to blow up my relationship with him for bar wanted to have a Good Relationship by was doing well perform is performing well earning my stripes. Publicist dander by which i was judged. As soon as we have that physical copper confrontation i ran out of his office, i hired a lawyer and for the record i did tell supervisor which is and the are supposed to do. And long story short years went by i had found another one unhurt story happened this same time and i convinced myself he is not a bad day and hes having marital difficulties and is smitten so when gretchen hit was not sure but the allegations that hit three women came forwardoy anonymously then i knew i had the decision to make. Ultimately the company said they would conduct the internal review then somebody said roger was hoping their view only to those that worked with gretchen and i knew what not me, ld mean. Honor your tolerance not be or might render the otherer women from the daily beast. So i right in the book