Mode. And now the museum of jewish hairy cage and the National Yiddish theater presents an internationaltribute to elie wiesel, a Community Reading of night. The camp with those that would have been through an epidemic, empty and dead. Only a few welldressed inmates wandering between the blocks. Or chris had to pass through the showers. The head of the camp joined us there. He was a stocky man with big shoulders, the neck of a bull, eclipsing curly hair. He gave us an impression of pride time to time. Our convoy included a few time in 12 years old. It took an interest in them and gave orders to bring them to you we were given new clothing. We were to wait there until we could be incorporated into work commandos and then we would be assigned to a box. Any man come in the commanders return from the worker rollcall pippi began looking for people we know, better for which they tried to enter. I would agree. Thats a very good care of. One can hold ones own there. They is not to be assigned to the construction commando if we had a choice. Attempt later with the german, assassins space resembling a wolfs pause. Canned food. Like the head of the camp, he likes children. Immediately after arrival, he had bread up for them, some soup and margarine in fact, this affection was not entirely alter escape. There existed here a traffic of children among and learned later he told us, you will stay with me for three days in quarantine. Afterwards you will go to work. Tomorrow medical checkup. A tough looking boy with shifty eyes came over to me. Would you like to get into a good commando . Of course. But on one condition. I want to stay with my father. Already, he said. I can arrange it. Ill give you another pair. I refuse to give him my shoes. They were all i had left. Ill also give you a ration of red with the margarine. He liked my shoes. I would not let him have them. Later, later they were taken away from me anyway in exchange for nothing. Time. The medical checkup to place outside early in the morning. They heard the examined. Are you in good health . Would dare to admit the opposite . On the other hand, the dentist seemed more conscientious. He asked me to open my mouth wide. In fact, he was not before decay, but old teeth. Those who had gold in their mouths were listed by their number. I did have a gold crown. The first three days went by quick way. On the fourth day, as we stood in front of our tent, each one began to choose the men he liked. Due, you, here. They put pointed their fingers. One might choose cattle or merchandise. We followed a couple of young men. He made us at the door of the entrance of the camp. This is the orchestras lock. He motioned us inside. We were surprised. What had we to do with music . Dierker stroh was playing a military march. Always the same. Thousands of commandos were marching off to the work yards. Cap bowsprit between the time left right, left and right. As the officers can in hand recorded a number of men leaving. The orchestra continued to play the same march until the last commando had passed. Then the conduct or his baton stopped moving and the orchestra fell silent. Yell at fall in. We fell into ranks of five. We left the camp without the music but instead. We still had the march in our ears. Left, right, left, right. We struck up conversations with our neighbors. The musicians. Almost all of them were jewish. Jjuliett with eyeglasses and a cynical smile and a pale face. Louis, a native of holland, a wellknown violinist. He complained he would not let him play beethoven. Were not allowed to play. Play german music. The young man from berlin was full of wit. A former student in warsaw. Explained to me, the work is neither difficult nor dangerous. Homely capo occasionally had a good madness and then we better stay out of his way. Youre a lucky little fellow he said smiling. He fell into a good commando. 10 minutes later we stood in front of the white house. A german employ civilian came to meet us. He points as much attention to us as they shot deeper with the delivery of old rags. Comrades were right. The work was not difficult. Sitting on the ground account in full very small electrical part. The couple launched into an explanation of the importance of this work, warning us that anyone who proved to be lazy would be held accountable. My new comrades reassured me, dont worry. He has to say this because of the maestro. There were many civilians here in a few french women as well. The women silently greeted musicians with their eyes. Phrenic, the form and assigned me to a corner. Dont kill yourself. Theres no hurry, but watch out. Please, sir. Id like you to meet my father. Your father will work here next year. We were lucky. Two boys came to join ourgroup. True brothers turn czechoslovakia parents have been exterminated. They quickly became my friends having once belonged to a Zionist Youth Organization a new account at supersonic but sometimes evoke in the majestic thing to teeth. We also spoke about how his mind. Their parents, like mine had not had the courage to celebrate or emigrate while there while there is still time. We decided that if we were allowed to live until deliberation, we would not stay another day we left the tent for the musicians bob. We were not entitled to a blanket, washable and bar of soap. It was a german. It is good to have as your leader. His name is alfonse, a young man with a startling face. He was totally devoted to defending his block. Whenever he could come he would organize a cauldron of soup or the young, for the week. For all those who dreamed more than an extra portion of food and liberty. One day, when we just returned from the warehouse, i was summoned by the secretary. Thats me. After your mail, you go to see the dentist. I didnt have a toothache. After your meal, without fail. And to the infirmary. Some 20 prisoners were waiting in line at the entrance. It didnt take long to learn the reason to be extracted. The dentist from czechoslovakia hottest based not on my period when he opened his mouth, one had a ghastly vision of rotten teeth. What are you going to do, sir . As i remove your gold crown, thats all he said. Pretending to be sick. Couldnt she read a few more days, sir . I dont feel well. He sat for a moment and took my prayers. All right ,com,com ma come back to see me when you feel better. Dont wait for me to call you. I went back to see him a week later with the same excuse. He did not seem surprised. I dont know whether he believed in me. Yet, he most likely was pleased that id come back on my own as i had promised. A few days after my visit, it was shut down. They were about to be hanged. They were dealing for his own benefit. I felt no pity for him. In fact, my gold crown was safe. It could be useful to me one day to buy some and, or even time to leave. That woman in time, all that matters to me as my daily bowl of soup, soup, those are my entire life. I was nothing but a body. Perhaps if amherst on mac is measured along with time. And the warehouse, i often work to a young frenchwoman did she did not speak yet she did not know german and i did not understand french. I thought she looked jewish, though she passed her area, she was a labor in may. One day when he was renting history, have been across his path. He threw himself on me, begging me to chase, throwing me to the ground in picking me up again, crushing me with even more violence until i was covered in blood. In order to hollywood and, he must have mistaken defiance. He continued to hit me harder and harder. Abruptly, he calmed down and sent it back to work as if nothing had happened. As if it had taken part in a game in which both were of equal importance. I dragged myself to mycorner. I felt a cool hand, wiping blood from a four head. It was a french girl. She was smiling and i knew she wanted to talk to me, but she was paralyzed with fear. She remained like that for some time. And she said an almost perfect german, little brother, dont cry. Keep your anger, your hate for another day. The day will come, but not now. Clench your teeth and wait. Many years later in paris i sat in the matcher reading my newspaper. A beautiful woman with dark hair and dreamy eyes. I had seen those eyes before. Madam, dont you recognize me . I dont know you, sir. In 1944 u. N. Poland, werent you . Yes, but he worked in a depot, a warehouse for electrical parks. Yet she said that in trouble. After a moment of silence, wait, i do remember. The young jewish boy, yes we were. We left the metro together and sat down at a cafe terrace. We spent the whole evening reminiscing. Before starting i said matthew and mark question . I know what it is. And i jewish . Yes i am. From an observant family. During occupation i had papers and passes and that was how i was assigned to a forced labor union and they deported me to germany i alluded being sent to a concentration camp. At the depot, nobody knew that i spoke german. It wouldve a rest station. It was imprudent status field was to you but i knew you would not betray me. Another time when reloading diesel diesel motors onto freight cars on some germans told jurors. I was on edge. He had trouble restraining himself to suddenly, he exploded with the victim this time was my father. He started yelling, is this what you call working . He began beating with an iron bar. At first my father simply doubled over under the lows, but then he seemed to break like an old tree of lightning. I kept silent. In fact, i thought of stealing the way and order not to set the. I felt anger at that moment. Its not direct it at the console, that my father. I could have avoided the draft . I was up a concentration camp had made of me. Frantic, from the monday noticed the crown in my mouth. Let me have your crown kid. I answered that i could not because without the crown i could no longer eat. What they gave you to eat, kate, i found another answer. It had been listed in the register through the medical checkup. This could mean trouble for us both. If you dont give us a crown that will cost much more. All of a sudden its and intelligent young man had changed. His eyes were shining with greed. I told him i needed to get my fathers advice. Go ahead, kids, ask. I want the answer by tomorrow. I mentioned it to my father, he hesitated. After long silences that know my son, we cannot do this. He will seek revenge. He wouldnt dare. Unfortunately he knew how to handle this. He knew my weak spot. My father had never served in the military and could not march in step. But here whenever we move to one place or another, it was instead. I presented the opportunity to torment him and on a daily basis to thrash him savagely left, right, he punched him. Left, right, he slapped him. I decided to give my father lessons in marching in that, and keeping time. We began practicing in front of our block. I would command left, right and my father would try. The inmates made fun of us. Look at the little officer teaching the old man to march. Hey, little general, how many rations of brad did the old man gave you for this . But my father did not make sufficient progress and the lows continued to rain on in. So, you still dont know how to march in step you old good for nothing. This went on for two weeks. It was untenable. We had to give in. That day, frantic burst into savage laughter. I knew it. I knew that i would win, kid. Better late than never. And because you make me wait, it will also cost you a ration of bread. A ration of red for one of my pals, a famous dentist for more son to pay him for pulling out your crown. My ration of red that you can have my crown . He smiled. What would you like . That i breathe your teeth by smashing your safe . That evening in the latrine, the dentist from warsaw pulled my crown with the help of a rusty spoon. He became pleasant again. From time to time, he even gave me extra soup. But it didnt last long. Two weeks later, all the polls were transferred to another camp i had lost my crown for nothing a few days before the polls left, i had a novel experience. It was on a sunday morning. Our commander was not required to work that day. Only edict would not hear of same in the camp. We had to go to the depot. The sudden enthusiasm for work astonished us. At the depot, interested saying do what you like, but do some paid a royalty or remain. And he disappeared. We didnt know what to do. Part of huddling on the ground, with each took turns strolling through the white house in the hope of finding something, a piece of bread a civilian mightve forgotten. When i reached the back of the building i heard sounds coming from this knowledge training room. I moved closer and i had a glimpse. A young polish girl half on a straw mat. Now i understood why he refused to leave the syndicate. He moved 100 prisoners so they could populate with this girl. It struck me as terribly funny and i burst out laughing. He jumped, turned and saw me by the girl tried to cover her wrath. I wanted to run away, but my feet were nailed to the floor. He didnt grab me by the throat, hissing at me he threatened, just you wait, kid. You will see what it costs a later work. You will pay for this later and now go back to your place. A halfhour before the usual time to stop work, the cop bo at the first roll call. Nobody understood what was going on. A roll call at this hour, here . Only i knew. The complement assures beach. An inmate does not have the right to mix into other peoples heirs. One of you does not seem to have understood this point. I should therefore try to make him understand clearly once and for all. I felt the sweat running down my back. 87713. I stepped forward. Lay down on it. On your belly. I obeyed. I no longer felt anything except the lashes of the whip. One, two, he was counting. He took his time between lashes. Only the first really hurt. I heard him count 10, 11. His voice was calm and reached me through a thick wall. 23. Two more i thought half unconscious. 24, 25. It was so very. I had not realized it, but i fainted. I came to when they doused with cold water. I was still writing on the great. In a blur i could see the wet ground next to me. I heard someone now. I began to distinguish what were shouting. Stand up. I mustve made a movement to get a comment that i felt myself all back to the great. However wanted to get a good stand up he was yelling even more loudly. If only i could answer in. If only i could tell him that i could not move, but by mouth would not open. Two inmates lifted me and led me to him. Look me in the eye. I looked at him without seeing him. I was thinking of my father. He would be suffering more than i do. Listen to me you son of a swine he said. So much for your curiosity. You shoppers need five times more. If you didnt tell anyone what you saw. Understood . I nodded once 10 times and most late as this may have had decided to say yes for all eternity. One sunday at half of our group, including my father was at work, the others including they took the opportunity to stay in last. Around 10 00 the sirens started to go off. Alert, they came inside the box while they took refuge in the shelters. As is relatively easy to escape, the god of the watchtowers and the barbed wire was cut. The Standing Order was to shoot anyone found outside his law. In no time, the camp had the look of an abandoned ship. No living soul in the alleys. Next to the kitchen, to cauldron of hot steaming soup for the intended. To cauldron of soup in the middle of the road. To cauldron since soup with no one to guard them. A royal feast going to raise. Supreme temptation, hundreds of eyes for the peanut m. , shining with desire. Two minutes with hundreds of lowflying for them. Two lans without a shepherd. Free for the taking for the dinner. Fear was greater than hunger. Suddenly we saw it open slightly. A man appeared crawly snakebite. Hundreds of eyes were watching his every move. Hundreds of men were calling within cover scraping their bodies with his on the stones. All heartstremble at, but mostly with envy. He was the one who had dared. He reached the first cauldron. He had succeeded your jealousy devoured us, consumed as did we never thought to admire him. A ration or two or more in our minds he was already dead. Laying on the ground, he was trying to lift himself. Even not of weakness or out of fear, he remained there undoubtedly to muster his strength. At last he succeeded in pulling himself up to the rim for a second he seemed to be looking for is ghostly reflection there. You had a terrible scream, a death rattle such as id never heard before. With open mouth, thrust his head towards the still steaming liquid. We jumped at the sound of the shot. Falling tothe ground, his face soup. The man writes a few seconds at the base of the cauldron and then he was still. That was when we began to hear the planes. Almost at the same moment the baruch began to shake. They are bombing the factory someone started. And crucially thought of my father who was at work. But i was glad now for the last to watch that factory go up in flames. What revenge. What we have heard some talk of German Military defeat on the various fronts, we were not sure if they were credible. A long trail of black smoke. The sirens began to wail again, the end of the alert. Everyone came out of the blocks. We breathed in air filled with fire and smoke, and our eyes shone with hope. A bomb had landed in the middle of the camp near the Assembly Point but had not exploded. We had to dispose of it outside the camp. The head of the camp, accompanied by his aide and the chief koppel, were on an inspection tour of the camp. The raid had left traces of great fear on his face. In the very center of the camp lay the body of the man with soup stains on his face, the only victim. The calderons were carried back to the kitchen. The ss were back at their posts in the watch towers behind their machine guns. Intermission was over. An hour later we saw the commandos returning in step as always. Happily, i caught sight of my father. Several or buildings were flattened several buildings were flattened, he said, but the depot was not touched. In the afternoon we cheerfully went to clear the ruins. One week later as we returned from work there in the middle of the camp in the apple plots stood a black gallows. We learned that soup would be distributed only after roll call which lasted longer than usual. The orders were given more harshly than on other days, and there were strange vibrations in the air. Caps off, was suddenly shouted. 10,000 caps calm off at once. Cover your heads 10,000 caps were back on our heads at lightning speed. The camp gate opened. An ss unit appeared and encircled us. One ss every three paces. The machine guns on the watch towers were pointed towards the apple plots. Theyre expecting trouble. Two ss were headed towards the solitary confinement cell. They came back, the condemned man between them. He was a young boy from warsaw, an inmate with three years of concentration camps behind him. He was tall and strong, a giant compared to me. His back was to the gallows. His face turned towards his judge, the head of the camp. He was pale but seemed more solemn than frightened. His manacled hands did not tremble. His eyes were cooley assessing the hundreds of ss guards, the thousands of prisoners surrounding him. They began to read the verdict, emphasizing every word n. The name of the furor himmler, prisoner number stole during the air raid according to the law, prisoner number is condemned to death. Let this be a warning and an example to all prisoners. Nobody moved. I heard my heart pounding. The thousands of people who died daily in auschwitz in the cream tore ya no longer troubled me, but this boy leaning against his gallows upset me deeply. The ceremony will be over soon, im hungry. At a sign of the forward, the koppel stepped up to the condemned youth. He was assisted by two prisoners in exchange for two bowls of soup. The koppel wanted to blindfold the youth, but he refused. After what seemed like a long moment, the hangman put the rope around his neck. He was about to signal his aides to pull the chair from under the young mans feet when the latter shouted in a strong and calm voice, long live liberty my curse on germany, my curse the executioner had completed his work. Like a sword, the order cut through the air, caps off 10,000 prisoners paid their respects. Cover your heads then the entire camp, block after block, filed against the hanged boy and stared at his extinguishing eyes. The tongue hanging from his gaping mouth. The guards forced everyone to look him squarely in the face. Afterwards, we were given permission to go back to our blocks and have our meal. I remember on that evening the soup tasted better than ever. I watched other hangings. I never saw a single victim weep. These withered bodies had long forgottennen the bitter taste of tears forgotten the bitter taste of tears. Except once. The koppel of the 52nd command doe was a dutchman, well over six feet. He had some 700 prisoners under his command, and they all loved him like a brother. Nobody had ever enendured a blow or even an insult from him. In his service was a young boy. This one had a delicate and beautiful face. An incredible sight in this camp. They often displayed greater cruelty than their elders. I once saw one of them, a boy of 13, beat his father for not making his bed properly. As the old man quietly wept, the boy was yelling, if you dont stop crying instantly, i will no longer bring you bread, understood . But the dutchmans little servant boy was beloved by all. His was the face of an angel in distress. One day the power failed at the Central Electric plant. The gestapo summoned to inspect the damage, concluded that it was sabotage. They found a trail. It led to the block of the dutchman, and after a search, they found a significant quantity of weapons. He was arrested on the spot. He was tortured for weeks on end in vain. He gave no names. He was transferred to auschwitz9 and never heard from again auschwitz and never heard from again. But the young boy remained behind in solitary confinement. He too was tortured, but he too remained silent. The ss then condemned him to death. Him and two other inmates who had been found to possess arms. One day as we returned from work, we saw three gallows, three black ravens erected. Roll call. The ss surrounding us, machine guns aimed at us, the usual ritual. Three prisoners in chains. And among them, the young boy, the sadeyed angel. The ss seemed more preoccupied, more worried than usual to hang a child in front of thousands of onlookers was not a small matter. The head of the camp read the verdict. All eyes were on the child. He was pale, almost calm. But he was biting his lips as he stood in the shadow of the gallows. This time the koppel refused to act as executioner in. Three ss took his place. The three condemned prisoners together stepped onto the chairs. In unison, the nooses were placed around their necks. Long live liberty, shouted two of the men. But the boy was silent. Where is merciful god . Where is he,someone behind me was asking. At the signal the three chairs were tipped over. Total silence in the camp. On the horizon, the sun was setting. Caps off his voice quivered. As for the rest of us, we were weeping. Cover your heads then came the march past the victims. The two men were no longer alive, their tongues were hanging out, swollen and bluish. But the third rope was still moving. The child, too light, was still breathing. And so he remained for more than a half an hour, lingering between life and death, writhing before our eyes. And we were forced to look at him at close range. He was still alive when i passed him. His tongue was still red, his eyes not yet extinguished. Behind me i heard the same man asking, for gods sake, where is god . And from within me, i heard his answer. Where he is, this is where. Happening here there this gallo. And that night gallow. And that night the soup tasted of corporations. Of corpses. [speaking in native tongue] [speaking in native tongue] [speaking in native tongue] [inaudible conversations] [inaudible conversations] [speaking in native tongue] [speaking in native tongue] [speaking in native tongue] speak speaking tongue. [speaking in native tongue] speak[speaking in native tongue] the service ended. Each of us recited for his participants, for his children and for for his parents, for his children and for himself. We remained for a long time, unable to detach ourself from this surreal moment. Then came the time to go to sleep. And slowly, the inmates returned to their blocks. I thought i heard them wishing each other a happy new year. I ran to look for my father. At the same time, i was afraid of having to wish him a happy year in which i no longer believed. He was leaning against the wall, bent shoulders sagging as if under a heavy load. I went up to him, took his hand and kissed it. I felt a tear on my hand. Whose was it . Mine . His . I said nothing, nor didhe. Never before had we understood each other so clearly. The sound of the bell brought us back to reality. We had to go to bed. We came back from very far away. I looked up at my fathers face, trying to glimpse a smile or Something Like it on his stricken face. But there was nothing. Not the shadow of an expression. Defeat. Yom kippur, the day of atonement. Should we fast . The question was hotly debated. To fast could mean a more certain, more rapid death. In this place we were always fasting. It was yom kippur year round. But there were those who said we should fast, precisely because it was dangerous to do so. We needed to show god that even here, locked in hell, we were capable of singing his praises. I did not fast. First of all, to please my father who had forbidden me to do so, and then there was no longer any reason for me to fast. I no longer accepted gods silence. As i swallowed my ration of soup, i turned that act into a symbol of rebellion, of protest against him. And i nibbled on my crust of bread. Deep inside me i felt a great void opening. The ss offered us a beautiful present for the new year. We had just returned from work. As soon as we passed the camps entrance, we sensed something out of the ordinary in the air. The roll call was shorter than usual. The evenings soup was distributed at great speed, swallowed as quickly. We were anxious. I was no longer in the same block as my father. They had transferred me to another commando, the construction one, where 12 hours a day i hauled heavy slabs of stone. The head of my new block was a german jew, small with piercing eyes. That evening he announced to us that henceforth no one was allowed to leaf the block after the leave the block after the evening soup. A terrible word began to circle after that. Selection. An ss would examine us. Whenever he found someone extremely frail, he would write down his number good for the crematorium. After the soup, we gathered between the bunks. The veterans told us, huh, youre lucky to have been brought here so late. Today this is paradise compared to what camp was two years ago. Back then buno was a veritable hell. No water, no blankets, less soup and bread. At night we slept almost naked, and the temperature was 30 below. We were collecting corpses by the hundreds every day. Work was very hard. Today, this is a little paradise. The capos back then had orders to kill a certain number of prisoners every day, and every week selection, amerciless selection. Oh, yes, you are you you lucky. Enough, be quiet, i begged them. Tell your stories tomorrow or some other day. They burst out laughing. They were not veterans for nothing. Are you scared . Well, we too were scared. And at that time, at that time for good reason. The old men stayed in their corner, silent, motionless, hunteddown creatures. Some were praying. One more hour, then we would know the verdict; death or reprieve. And my father . I first thought of him now. How would he pass selection . He had aged so much. He had not been outside a concentration camp since 1933. He had already been through the slaughterhouses, all the factories of death. And around 9 00 he came to stand in our midst. Achtung. There was instant silence. Listen carefully to what im about to tellyou. For the first time, his voice quivered. In a few moments, selection will take place. You will have to undress completely. Then you will go, one by one, before the ss doctors. I hope you will all pass, but you must try to increase your chances. Before you go into the next room, try to move your limbs. Give yourself some color. Dont walk slowly, run. Run as if you had the devil at your heels. Dont look at the ss, run straight in front of you. He paused and then added, and most important, dont be afraid. That was a piece of advice we would have loved to be able to follow. I undressed, leaving my clothes on my cot. Tonight there was no danger that they would be stolen. Two boys who had changed commandos at the same time as i did came to urge me, lets stay together, it will make us stronger. One was mumbling something. He probably was praying. I had never suspected that he was religious. In fact, i had always believed the opposite. Tivi was silent and very pale. All the block inmates stood naked between the rows of bunks. This, this must be how one stands for the last judgment. Theyre coming, three ss officers surrounded the notorious dr. Manage la, the very mangela. He asked us, ready . Yes, we were ready. The doctor was holding a list. He nodded, we can begin, as if this were a game. The first to go were the notables of the block, the capos, the foremen, all of whom were in perfect physical condition, of course. Then came the ordinary prisoners turns. The doctor looked them over from head to toe. From time to time, he noted a number. I had but one thought, not to have my number taken down and not to show my left arm. In front of me, there were only my two friends. They passed. I had time to notice that the doctor had not written down their numbers. Someone pushed me. It was my turn. I ran without looking back. My head was spinning. Youre too skinny, youre too weak. Youre too skinny. Youre good for the ovens. The race seemed endless. I felt as though i had been running for years. Youre too skinny, youre too weak. At last i arrived, exhausted. When i had caught my breath, did they write me down . No. Anyway, they couldnt have. You were running too fast. [laughter] i began to laugh. I was happy. I felt like kissing him. At that moment the others did not matter. They had not written me down. Those whose numbers had been noted were standing apart, abandoned by the whole world. Some were silently weeping. [speaking in native tongue] [speaking in native tongue] [speaking in native tongue] [speaking in native tongue] [speaking in native tongue] [speaking in native tongue] [speaking in native tongue] [speaking in native tongue] the block turned to go to his room. The ten prisoners surrounded him clinging to his clothes. Save us, you promised we want to go to the depot. We are Strong Enough to work, we can, we want. He tried to calm them to reassure them about their fate, to explain to them that staying in the camp did not mean much, had no tragic significance. After all, i stay here every day. The argument was more than flimsy. He realized it. Without another word, locked himself in his room. The bell had just rung. Form ranks now it no longer mattered that the work was hard. All that mattered was to be far from the block, far from the crucible of death, from the center of the hell. I saw my father running in my direction. Suddenly, i was afraid. What is happening . He was out of breath, hardly able to open his mouth. Me too, me too. They told me me too, to stay in the camp. They had recorded his number without his noticing. What are we going to do, i said anxiously. But it was he who tried to reassure me. Its not certain yet. Theres still a chance. Today they will do another selection, a decisive one. I said nothing. He felt time was running out. He was speaking rapidly. He wanted to tell me so many things. His speech became confused, his voice was chokeed. He knew i had to leave in a few moments. He was going to remain alone. So alone. Here, take this knife, he said. I wont need it anymore. You may find it useful. Also take this spoon. Dont sell it. Quickly, go ahead. Take what im giving you. My inheritance. Dont talk like that, father. I was on the verge of breaking into sobs. I dont want to say such things. Keep your spoon and your knife. You will need them as much as i. Well see each other tonight after work. He looked at me with his tired eyes, veiled by despair. He insisted. I am asking you, take it. Do as i ask you, mying son. Time is running out. Do as your father asks you. Our capo shouted the order to march. The commando headed towards the camp gate. Left, right. I was biting my lip. My father had remained near the block, leaning against the wall. Then he began to run, to try to catch up to us. Perhaps he had forgotten to tell me something, but we were marching too fast. Left, right. We were at the gate. We were being counted. Around us the dip of military music the din of military music. Then we were outside. All day i plodded around like a sleepwalker. My friends would call out to me from time to time, trying to reassure me, as did the capo who had given me easier tasks that day. I felt sick at heart. How kindly they treated me, like an orphan. I thought even now my father is helping me. I myself didnt know whether i wanted the day to go by quickly or not. I was afraid of finding myself alone that evening, how good it would be to die right here. At last we began the return. How i longed for an order to run. The military march, the gate, the camp. I ran toward block 36. Were there still miracles on this earth . He was alive. He had passed the second selection. He had still proved his usefulness. I gave him back his knife and spoon. One had left us, a victim of the selection. Lately he had beenwandering among us, his eyes glazed, telling everyone how weak he was. I cant go on. Its over. We tried to raise his spirits, but he wouldnt listen to anything we said. He just kept repeating that it was all over for him, that he could no longer fight. He had no more strength, no more faith. His eyes would suddenly go blank, leaving two gaping wounds, two wells of terror. He was not alone in having lost his faith during those days of selection. I knew a rabbi from a small town in poland. He was old and bent. His lips constantly trembling. He was always praying in the block, at work, in the ranks. He would citer into passages from the tall mud, arguing with himself, asking himself endless questions. One day he said to me, its over. God is no longer with us. And as though he regretted having uttered such words so coldly, so dryly, he added in his broken voice i know, no one has the right to say things like that. I know that very well. Man is too insignificant, too limited to each try to comprehend gods mysterious ways. But what can someone like myself do . Im neither a sage, nor just a man. I am not a saint. Im a simple creature of flesh and bone. I suffer hell in my soul and my flesh. I also have eyes, and i see what is being done here. Where is gods mercy . Where is god . How can i believe . How can anyone believe in this god of mercy . The poor man. If only he could have kept his faith in god. If only he could have considered this suffering a divine test, he would not have been swept away by the selection. But as soon as he felt the first chinks in his faith, he lost all incentive to fight and opened the door to death. When the selection came, he was doomed from the start, offering his neck to the executioner as it were. All he asked of us was in three days, ill be gone. We promised, in three days when we would see smoke rising from the chimney, we would think of him. We would gather ten men and hold a special service. All his friends would say kaddish. Then he left in the direction of the hospital. His step was almost steady, and he never looked back. An ambulance was waiting to take him to burke now. There followed terrible days. We received more work than food. The work was crushing. In three days after he left, we forgot to to say kaddish. Winter had awe arrived. Arrived. The days became short and the nights almost unbearable. From the first hours of dawn, a glacial wind lashed us like a whip. We were handed winter clothing, striped shirts there were a bit heavier. The veterans grabbed the opportunity for further [inaudible] now youll really get a taste of camp. We went off to work as usual, our bodies frozen. The stones were so cold that touching them, we felt that our hands would remain stuck. But we got used to that too. Christmas and new years eve we did not work. We were treated to a slightly less transparent soup. Around the middle of january, my right foot began to swell from the cold. I could not stand on it. I went to the infirmary. The doctor, a great jewish doctor a prisoner like ourselves was categorical. We have to operate. If we wait, the toes and perhaps the leg will have to be amputated. That was all i needed, but i had no choice. The doctor had decided to operate, and there could be no discussion. In fact, i was rather glad that the decision had been his. They put me in a bed with white sheets. I had forgotten that people slept in sheets. Actually, being in the infirmary was not bad at all. We were entitled to good bread, a thicker soup. No more bell, no more roll call, no more work. From time to time, i was able to sending a piece of bread to send a piece of bread to my father. Next to me lay a hungarian j well, jew suffering from dysentery. I could just hear his voice, the only indication that he was alive. Where did he get the strength to speak . Dont rejoice too soon, son. Here, too, there is selection. In fact, more up than outside. More often than outside. Germany has no need of sick jews. Germany has no need of me. When the next transport arrives, youll have a new neighbor. Therefore, listen to me. Leave the infirmary before the next selection. These words, coming from the grave as it were, from a faceless shape, filled me with terror. True, the infirmary was very small, and if new patients were to arrive, room would have to be made. But then perhaps my faceless neighbor, afraid of being among the first displaced, simply wanted to get rid of me, to free my bed to give himself a chance to survive. Perhaps he only wanted to frighten me. But then again, what if he was telling the truth . I decided to wait and see. The doctor came to tell me that he would operate the next day. Dont be afraid, he said. Everything will be all right. At 10 00 in the morning, i was taken to the operating room. My doctor was there. That reassured me. I felt that in his presence nothing serious could happen to me. Every one of his words was healing, and every glance he carried a message of hope. It will hurt a little, he said, but it will pass. Be brave. The operation lasted one hour. They did not put me to sleep. I did not take my eyes off my doctor. Then i felt myself sink. When i came to and opened my eyes, i first saw nothing but a huge expanse of white. My sheets. Then i saw my doctors face above me. Everything went well. You have spunk, my boy. Next youll stay your two weeks for some proper rest, and that will be it. Youll eat well, youll relax your body and your nerves. All i could do was follow the movements of his lips. I barely understood what he was telling me. But the inflection of his voice soothed me. Suddenly, i broke into a cold sweat. I couldnt feel my leg. Had they amputated it . Doctor, i stammered, doctor . What is it, son . I didnt have the courage to ask him. Doctor, im thirsty. He had water brought to me. He was smiling. He was ready to walk out, see other patients. Doctor . Yes . Will i be able to use my leg . He stopped smiling. I became frightened. He said, listen, son, do you trust me . Very much, doctor. Then listen well. In two weeks youll be fully recovered. Youll be able to walk like the others. The sole of your foot was full of pus. I just had to open the sack. Your leg was not amputated. Youll see. In two weeks youll be Walking Around like everybody else. All i had to do was wait two weeks. But two days after my operation rumors swept through the camp that the battle front had suddenly drawn nearer. The red army was racing near. It was only a matter of hours. We were quite used to this kind of rumor. It wasnt the first time that false prophets announced to us peace in the world, the red cross negotiating our liberation or other fables. And often we would believe them. It was like an injection of morphine. Only this time these prophesies seemed more founded. During the last nights, we had heard the cannons in the distance. My faceless neighbor spoke up. Dont be deluded, hitler has made it clear that he will annihilate all jews before the clock strikes 12. I exploded, what do you care what he said . Would you want us to consider him a prophet . His cold eyes stared at me. At a last he said wearily, i have more faith in hitler than in anyone else. He alone has kept his promises. All his promises to the i jewish people. That afternoon at 4 00, as usual, the bell called all the block for their daily report. They came back shattered. They had definitelity opening their mouths difficulty opening their mouths. All they could utter was one word, evacuation. The camp was going to be emptied, and we would be sent to the rear. Where to . Somewhere in deepest germany to other camps. There was no shortage of them. When . Tomorrow night. Perhaps the russians will arrive before perhaps. We knew perfectly well they would not. The camp had become a hive of activity. People were running, calling to one another. In every block the inmates prepared for the journey ahead. I had forgotten about my lame foot. A doctor came into the room and announced tomorrow, right after nightfall, the camp will start on its march. Block by block. The sick can remain in the infirmary. They will not be evacuated. That news made us wonder, were the ss really going to leave hundreds of prisoners behind in the infirmaries pending the arrival of their liberators . Were they really going to allow jews to hear the clock strike 12 . Of course not. All the patients will be finished off on the spot, said the faceless one. And in one last swoop, thrown into the furnaces. Surely the camp will be minded, said another. Right after the evacuation, it will all blow up. As for me, i was thinking not about death, but about not wanting to be separated from my father. We had already suffered so much, endured so much together, this was not the moment to separate. I ran outside to look for him. The snow was piled high, the blocks windows veiled in frost. Holding a shoe in my hand, for i could not put it on my right foot, i ran, feeling neither pain, nor cold. What are we going to do . My father didnt answer. What are we going to do . He was lost in thought. The choice was in ourhands. For once, we could decide our fate for ourselves. To stay, both of us in the infirmary where thanks to my doctor, he could enter as either patient or medic i made up my mind to accompany my father wherever he went. Well, father, what do we do . He was silent. Lets be evacuated with the others, i said. He didnt answer. He was looking at my foot. You think youll be able to walk . Yes, i think so. Lets hope we wont regret it, elie. After the war i learned the fate of those who had remained at the infirmary. They were, quite simply, liberated by the russians two days after the evacuation. [inaudible conversations] thank you. I did not return to the infirmary. I went straight to my block. My wound had reopened and was bleeding. The snow under my feet turned red. The [inaudible] distributed double rations of bread and margarine for the road. We could take as much clothing from the store as we wanted. It was cold. We got into our bunks the last night, one more the last night. The last night at home, the last night in the ghetto, the last night in the cattle car and now the last night in buma. How much longer would our lives be lived from one last night to the next . I didnt sleep. Through the frosty window panes, we could see flashes of red. Cannon shots broke the silence of the night. How close the russians were. Between them and us, one night. Finish our last. From one bunk to another, whispers of with a little luck, the russians will be here. Hope was still alive. Someone called out, try to sleep gather your strength for the journey. It reminded me of my mothers last recommendations in the get foe. In the ghetto. But i couldnt fall asleep. My foot was on fire. In the morning the camp did not look the same. The prisoners showed up in all kinds of strange garb. It looked like a masquerade. We each had put on several garments, one over the other, to better protect ourselves from the cold. [inaudible] more dead than alive. Poor creatures whose ghostly faces peeked out from layers of prisoners clothes. Poor clowns. I tried to find a very large shoe, in vain. I tore my blanket and wrapped it around my foot. Then i went off to wander through the camp in search of a little more bread and a few potatoes. Some people said we would be going to czech czechoslovakia. No. To [inaudible] no. 2 00 in the afternoon, the snow continued to fall heavily. Now the hours were passing quickly. Dusk had fallen. Daylight disappeared into a gray mist. Suddenly the [inaudible] still remembered that we had forgotten to clean the block. He commanded four prisoners to mop the floor. One hour before leaving camp . Why . For whom . For the liberating army, he told us. Let them know that here lived men and not pigs. So we were men after all. The block was cleaned from top to bottom. At 6 00 bell rang. The death knell. The funeral. The procession was beginning to its march. Fall in, quickly. In a few moments, we stood in ranks block by block. Night had fallen. Everything was happening according to man. The search lights came on. Hundreds of ss appeared out of the darkness, accompanied by police dogs. The snow continued to fall. The gates of the camp opened. It seems as though it seemed as though an even darker night was waiting for us on the other side. The first blocks began to march. We waited. We had to await the exodus of the 56 blocks that preceded us. It was very k08d. In my pocket cold. In my pocket i had two pieces of bread. How i would have liked to eat them. But i knew i must not. Not yet. Our turn was coming. Block53, block 55, block 57, forward, march. It snowed on and on. [applause] ladies and gentlemen, we will have a tenminute intermission. Thank you