Very much. Yes, im larry wilmore. Thanks, i appreciate that. Larry nobody else is saying it. Im Pharrell Williams. By the way, miss u. S. A. Deshauna barber, joins us on the panel tonight. U. S. A. okay, tonight i want to dedicate this first act to talking about a subject that i dont think we pay enough attention to because of the craziness of our world. Im talking about wildlife. Now, its upon us to be stewards of these creatures who have no im just kidding. Were talking about trump cheers and applause come on, guys its trump all right roll the unblackening laughter okay, funny story. A couple weeks ago, we were all saying man, trump just criticized the family of a fallen soldier . What . Theres no way he could do anything worse than this. He did. Hillary wants to abolish, essentially abolish the Second Amendment. If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although, the Second Amendment people, maybe there is. I dont know. Larry yup, thats right. Donald trump not so subtly hinting that gun rights activists should do something about Hillary Clinton. Really . Youre joking about your political opponent being whacked. Guys, i used to think rational, wellintentioned people could be on opposite sides of the aisle and intelligently debate the merits of both governing philosophies. But you know what . At this point, if you vote for trump, youre just a dick, seriously. cheers and applause im sorry, im sorry. Im sorry. Sorry. I hope you get destroyed by a horsesized duck. How about that . cheers and applause no, horrible. Its an inside joke. I apologize. No, because theres no possible way this can be misinterpreted. Okay, lets hear from trumps chief spokesgoblin, Katrina Pierson, and join me as i watch in amazements the bleep pours out of her mouth. Mr. Trump was saying exactly what he said. He was talking about Hillary Clinton and gun control. But, katrina, he was talking about what Second Amendment activists could do to stop her if she won. Well, no, thats actually not what he was talking about. Larry okay, let me stop you right there. bleep you. That is what he was talking about. I dont care how convoluted your explanation is. Were not stupid. We can hear stop trying to explain him away. But it wasnt just her trying to force feed us this turd taco. Youre treating mr. Trumps words like he is the most articulate person whos ever graced our ears with his words, and that is not true. So, lets say he was an an english professor with a ph. D. In grammar. laughter first of all, you cant get a ph. D in a subject thats taught in the fifth grade. laughter thats like getting a bachelors of science in kickball, or something. And, second, just to be clear, your argument is that trump is so incoherent, he cant be held accountable when his words might constitute a federal crime . And, of course, what defense of trump would be complete without the human embodiment of impotent rage himself, rudy giuliani. You know how speeches go. He was talking about how they have the power to keep her out of office. The first time that any of us had any idea that, that is way it was interpreted is when the clinton spin machine interpreted it that way. The clinton spin machine spun it out. Clinton spin machine . That sounds like a line bill would have used in the 90s hey, you wanna ride the clinton spin machine . laughter applause im just sayin. Im just sayin. Sounds like it. Were maybe doing those jokes for the next eight years. Thats really sad. But once again, its acting like we cant hear something, like hes blaming us for hearing exactly what trump said. Heres what gets me about this. Giuliani is here diminishing the power of trumps words, but hes not always so calm about language. Weve had, from on top, a lot of divisiveness and a lot of antipolice rhetoric. Theres a target on Police Officers backs is because of groups like black lives matter that make it seem like all police are against blacks. Larry oh, so when trump calls for the violent death of his opposition, thats just clinton spin. But when its black lives matter, theyre literally killing people with the power of their hypnotizing negro language. Look, the difference between a random protester and someone running to be the leader of the free world is that once youre president , everything you say has meaning. Ill show you how this works. Okay, look, here at the nightly show, im the boss. Im kind of the president of this show, if you will. Right, you know what i mean. Now, Rory Albanese is my executive producer. Hows it going, larry . Great show so far, boss. Larry thanks, rory. Killing it, killing it. Larry now, i might be a little upset at rory one day just talking off the top of my head man, i cant stand rory. Sometimes i wish somebody would just make him go away. Now, because im the boss and i have influence, those words mean something. yelling larry said you needed to die stop it stop it larry holly, holly leave him alone. It was just words. Oh, im so sorry, larry. Your words are so powerful. Larry thank you. You know, i was influenced. Larry exactly. You know what, holly, when you put it that way, its fair what you did. Larry good job, guys. Good job. Larry thats the power of my words. Stop being so careless with your language. All right, here to explain himself is donald trump. cheers and applause all right, okay. Thanks for coming, donald. Now i have to ask you correctly, did you or did you not basically call for the assassination of Hillary Clinton yesterday . Come on, larry. Did i use the word assassination . No, i mean, come on. I just said there was something people who believe in the, you know, the good amendment, the one with the guns. Larry the Second Amendment . Leave it to a black to know everything about guns. Unbelievable typical, okay. I just said there was something people who believe in the Second Amendment could do get out to vote, or write letters, or do whatever heavily armed, angry mobs do. Okay, whatever that is. Okay, its a free country, no thanks to obama. But im supposed to guess what theyre going to do. Come on, give me a break. Larry i feel like you know exactly what you meant, and my fear is that they knew exactly what you meant. Come on, look. It was a joke. I get it. You dont know what a joke is. Believe me, ive watched this show, complete disaster. But im an entertainer. Look, ill write a joke right now. Its going to be hilarious. Here we go. Knock, knock. Larry oh god. Knock, knock. Larry fine. Whos there . Excuse me, dont sprupt. Larry i want to answer, donald. Did you or did the you not basically call for the the assassination of Hillary Clinton . Im tired of this Political Correctness in america today. Back in the day a politician could straight up shoot a political rival, and i know because i saw that in black hamilton okay. Larry black hamilton . First of all, its just called hamilton. And thats your takeaway that were too politically correct today and we should be shooting people we disagree with. That would be great. Larry no dont put words in my mouth, larry. Im joking or improperly implying one thing while meaning another. Its called being entertaining. Larry okay, fine. When are you going to stop trying to be entertaining and start trying to be president ial . When i become president , okay. That way, whatever i do is going to be president ial, okay . Stupid question. Larry donald trump, everyone. Well be right back. cheers and applause lionel its peyton. Its peyton on sunday mornings. peyton you know with directv nfl sunday ticket you can watch your Favorite Team no matter where you live. Like broncos or colts. cashier cool. peyton ah. 18. The old number. Ooh. I have got a coupon for that one. vo get nfl sunday ticket only on directv. And watch live games anywhere. Tens of thousands of miles, taken years of hard work, and more energy than i knew i had. But thats ok. Im looking far down the road. Where many more hours, and miles and long days lay ahead. cause where i am today is just a start. Compared to where im going. Im comin over this clean was like pow. Everything well . It felt like i had just gone to the dentist. It just kind of like, wiped everything clean. My teeth are glowing. They are so white. Crest [hd]. 6x cleaning, 6x whitening. And at two weeks superior sensitivity relief to the leading sensitivity toothpaste. I actually really like the two steps crest [hd]. Step 1 cleans, step 2 whitens. Its the whole package. No ones done this. Crest healthy, beautiful smiles for life. What do you call deliciously smooth, creamy yogurt that comes in over 25 amazing flavors and packs 6 grams of protein per serving . Yoplait original. The family favorite. Yoplait. cheers and applause larry welcome back. President obama recently shortened the sentences of 214 federal inmates, mostly nonviolent drug offenders who are predominantly african american. Its part of his effort to reduce americas prison population, reform sentencing laws, and i dont know, maybe scare a few white people. Have no idea. But our conspiracy expert, mike yard, thinks theres more to this than meets the eye, which means its time for the y files. cheers and applause so, mike, arent you happy that those inmates, most of whom are black men, can finally get out of jail . Beep, beep, beep time to wake up, unawarey wilmore okay, freedom aint free the president s not doing it for justice obamas freeing the prisoners. To make his own suicide squad drink it in, my brother. Chugalug. Larry why the the hell is it the president need a suicide squad . That is his way to get a third term, larry im waiting for you to go pswh. Larry presume is going to credit a suicide squad to get a third term. How does that make sense . How else do you explain donald trump. Larry that does not explain donald trump. There are sunday of way to explain donald trump hike, how are you going to put all this together . You know, you win the gold medal in the the schmoelympics, my brother. The president has busted his ass for eight years,s hes not ready to go. He releases a black convict, his suicide squad, on one condition they steal the constitution, and edit it, so obama can have a third term, put it back, he runs again. People are like, you cant do that thats unconstitutional he goes, uhh have you read the constitution lately, because now it says yes i can boom cheers and applause are you seeing it . Larry mike, that is absolutely nuts. Look elook, i cant stand trump, but theres no way in hell that barack obama is creating this level of National Chaos so he can edit the constitution to stay in office oh, okay, i see how it is you meet the president one time and call him your nigga, so now youre the expert, okay larry mike, please dont bring that up. No im saying your theory makes absolutely no sense, but i know youre going to try anyway. Pull the bar all the way down, my brother. Youre in for the ride of your life shortening prison sentences sentences, nouns and verbs. Verbs are action words, action comics. Suicide squad criminals with nothing to lose. D. C. Comics d. C. Obama, who killed bin laden. Plunged into the sea nestea plunge. Ice t law and order. Whos the law and order candidate . Donald j. Trump. Larry no, no. The antireagan. Whos reagans chief of staff . James baker iii thirdterm president. Whaaaaat . Whaaaaat . Larry mike, i dont even know what to say about all that. I know, its airtight, isnt it . Larry it is not. But all of this is just a smokescreen for what i really want to talk about, that Pharrell Williams is an immortal vampire. cheers and applause larry okay, now that i actually believe. Mike yard, everybody well be right back. Hey, is this our turn . Honey. Our turn . Yeah, we go left right here. woman vo Great Adventures are still out there. Well find them in our subaru outback. avo love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Get zero percent on select subaru models during the subaru a lot to love event, now through august thirtyfirst. And im michael howard. We left on our honeymoon in january 2012. It actually evolved into a business. From our blog to video editing. Our technology has to hang tough with us. When youre going to a place without electricity, you need a long battery life. The touch, combined with the screen resolution. A mac doesnt have that. We wanted to help more people get out there and see the world. Once you take that leap, thats where the magic happens. cheers and applause larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. First up, nightly show contributor jordan carlos. cheers and applause and nightly show contributor grace parra. cheers and applause and not only is she the current miss u. S. A. Shes the first woman actively serving in the United States army reserve to win the title, deshauna barber. cheers and applause and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter nightly show, using the hashtag tonightly. Okay. Yesterday, trump basically suggested the assassination of Hillary Clinton. Please take a look. Hillary wants to abolish, essentially abolish the Second Amendment. If she gets to pick her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although, the Second Amendment people, maybe there is. I dont know. Larry that guy said oh, bleep . Im trying real hard on this. Im trying real hard. Is there any possibility that he meant Something Else . If hes saying these things and were giving him the benefit of the doubt. It seems like hes crowd sourcing if you want to do it, whatever. If you want to kill her, whatever. The reality is, he has a lot of supporters, and im sure theres a couple out there, that a couple of screws are loose. So you never know if theyre going to take it literally. I hope they dont because youre basically talking about assassinating someone. He actually opened that door, so we can muse about, like, killing leaders which is insane because i would never want trump to be killed. But, like, maimed by a zamboni would be cool. Fine. laughter . You know . Larry we cant even really make that joke. I remember i said something at the end of the show and i said bleep . Are you saying we should kill trump . No, no, no. I felt bad about it. I heard someone said the problem is an unstable person could hear this and might cosomething. But isnt trump the unstable one in this sequence . laughter applause . He is one of the unstable people, but the reality is so many people voted for him in the primaries, more than any other president ial nominee in g. O. P. History. There are 2. 3 Million People who voted for hum in the primary. Larry i understand when people say about the anger and a lot of people are angry with the systems and a lot of republicans are mad at republicans. I think a lot of trump votes were protest votes. But at this point, when he says all this when you see republicans jumping off ship and jumping on to the titanic yes because at first you think everyone is playing and it wont play out. At first when he entered as a nominee i was like hes not going to make it far. Now its getting so serious and Everybody Needs to enter reality right now. Larry do you think hes setting us up . Do you think hes going to quit . No. He loves to win. He says, im winning. Im winning. Im winning. I love winning. Larry but once he thinks hes losing its going to be, im taking my ball and going home. I feel like he would give up the presidency once he got it. Larry you think so . Absolutely. Mike pence, take care of it. Im going to the caribbean. Im going to miralago. Hes a careless person and leaves others to clean up the mess. Like all his subordinates. The dog didnt really bleep on the rug. What happened was the Katrina Pierson of the world who have to clean up the mess overnight. Hes a job creator. Hes like the power. He upons the power. I think hes going to stay met presidency. He likes the power. Larry hes already kind of intimated he would outsource it. Ill let you do all the president ing. Just take photos and eat barbecue. Larry have you spent time in North Carolina . Are you from North Carolina . I have. I spent a the lot of my childhood in North Carolina. Larry okay, so i wanted to ask you this because heres what i dont understand. I mean, look, a lot of the perceptions of Hillary Clinton are just hard to decipher, put this one is the funniest one. 41 of North Carolina trump supporters, trump supporters, think Hillary Clinton is literally the devil. Okay. Now the key word there is literally. Yeah. Larry s whats up with that . Man, what a bad representation of North Carolina. Larry shes satan. Shes literally satan. Yeah, and i spent a lot of time in North Carolina throughout my childhood. My mother still lives there. I have no idea who they were talking to in North Carolina. I really dont know. And what is their definition of being a devil is my question. What is that definition . Because i think its pretty extreme. I love the fabt that a woman can be the devil, but a female president , were not ready not ready for it. Maybe one in the future, but not this one larry is there a chance that hillary can blow this at this point with trump doing all this . I mean, look at this, there is so Much Negative stuffing out that people are ignoring because he says he wants to shoot her is there thats whats amazing is the clinton foundation. Something could come out. You know what i mean . His poll numbers are dipping, and, like, every night im like, please, god, let them go lower. He comes back like like from terminator. Duda. So we need to find a smelting plant again to i just think he like i dont think hes going to give up. I think Something Else in clinton world might come out. Larry do you think his numbers are going to keep going down after this . I dont know, his supporters really support him, clearly. I dont think theres anything he can say or do wrong. No ones going to go to a trump rally and be like, go in there, a trump supporter and be like, he said that . Im leaving. The guy you mentioned but, yeah even the guy that you mentioned at the beginning where you said that he looked shocked after he said his comment. He went on the news this morning and said,im still voting. Im still voting for trump. Unbelievable. Larry he jokes about shooting hillary. Youve got my vote. Thats why i think people have stuck with him by the way. Hes essentially saying what they think he wants to say. Hes saying what is in my brain but im not ballsy enough to say it. Larry seeing people like paul ryan, its like yeah, im still voting for him. Its just sad, man. Its really sad. It is. Larry on that note, well be right back. cheers and applause first theyre sour. Then theyre sweet. Sour patch kids. Sour. Sweet. Gone. Its gum just when you think you know what a computer is. You see a keyboard that can just, get out of the way. And a screen you can touch. And even write on. When you see a computer that can do all that, it might just make you wonder. Hey, what else can it do . The family favorite. Yoplait. Library break shhhhhhhh. Have a break, have a kit kat hhi. O. Welcome. This is the chevy malibu. It was awarded most dependable midsize car by j. D. Power. It looks great. Wow what is happening . Oh my gosh, its going up but the malibus not the only vehicle that was awarded. This is mind blowing. The chevy camaro, equinox, and silverado hd were awarded most dependable as well. This is extremely impressive. Theres so many doing it once, yea, great job, four times, obviously, theyre doing something right. Absolutely cheers and applause larry thanks to my panelists, jordan carlos, grace parra, and deshauna barber. And thanks to bob dibuono as donald trump. Thanks for watching. Good nightly. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central trevor welcome bac welcome back to the coverage of the 2016 satirical games. Welcome roy wood, jr. What a game it has been. Weve seen world records, dreams made and hopes crushed. Who doesnt like watching the flicker go out in a young kids eyes. Jordan, whats that on your neck . Oh, this thing . laughter have you been doing the cupping therapy like the athletes . No, no. Last night my loneliness got the best of me and i had sex with a vacuum cleaner. laughter okay, letso go to trevor noah as he competes in the 30minute mens freestyle hosting sprint. From Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah cheers and applause trevor thank you so much welcome to the daily show im your host trevor noah. Tonights guests from the hit Comedy Central show another period, Nikolai Patrushe nick e and natasha leggero, everybody cheers and applause trevor i know for most people the news every day is about this used condom filled with orange gatorade. But while thats going on, another competition is hpe