Thank you guys. Theres a lot to cover tonight, but before we get started, a little fox news news. Looks like a fox was in the henhouse and called some foxes foxy and, you know, this doesnt. Im sorry, our analogy guy is out sick today. We have an update on that asshole roger ailes. Just play the clip. Media mogul Rupert Murdock is said to have decided to remove roger ailes amid Sexual Harassment allegations leveled against him by this former anchor. Im Gretchen Carlson, have a fantastic day. Larry thank you gretchen. I will have a fantastic day because roger ailes is getting [bleep] canned. Yes. So weve talked about this before. Aint nobody surprised that roger ailes is a creepy [bleep], right . And not just because he greenlit bill oreillys original show. Get me a scotch, sugartits. [applause] i dont know whats going on down there cant believe that didnt catch on. But heres whats interesting. Gretchen carlsons accusations werent enough on their own to get ailes fired. She had to get them cosigned by other women. Enter cable news alpha gazelle, megyn kelly. Yesterday megyn kelly, the networks rising star, reportedly told investigators that he had made similar sexual advances towards her about ten years ago. Larry ugh. And it happened ten years ago. Let me see if i can put this in perspective. While the rest of the world was furiously trying to put Nelly Furtados newest album on their zunes, megyn kellys trying to ward off that fat bastard. Now a lot of people are reporting kind words kelly had for ailes in the past as if thats relevant at all. Kelly had nothing but praise for her boss when she spoke to charlie rose last year. I really care about fox and i really care about roger and hes been nothing but good to me and hes been very loyal and hes had my back. Larry but what else is she going to say . No, hes a handsy sex goblin who harassed me but is powerful enough to ensure ill never work again if i come forward . Why is this relevant . And anyway, this is how predators operate in the workplace. They do nice things for women, like hire them or promote them or cheerlead for them. And they think that makes it okay to harass them. I call it the skeazypass. [applause] hey, ive been nice to you. I can therefore now be skeazy. Unfortunately, the skeazypass is currently accepted in way too many offices. But we think its great that the women of fox are taking a stand and thats why nightly show contributors robin and holly are here to present them with their thats what she said award. Thats what she said. [cheers and applause] thanks larry. Ive got a message for men like roger ailes. Just because youre in a position of power, doesnt mean you can put a woman in any sexual position. This isnt the 50s. You cant shove that mess down my throat. Thats what she said. Robin, we talked about this. I know and youre right. Its about them, not us. Got it. So what if megyn kelly praised roger ailes in the early 2000s . He was her boss. That was her job. She didnt want to blow it. Thats what she said. Im sorry, but it does make sense in that context but now im done. Okay, im done. You sure . And shame on ailes. Dont act all innocent. You knew exactly what you were doing. Let me give you a little tip. Thats what she said. Actually youre right, thats what he said. You have a little tip. That was a good guess. Now stop lying ailes because though one believes you and sadly as always there was no real action until multiple women joined in. [laughter] what . No. [applause] so dont think your power gives you permission, like bill cosby. That asshole gave scholarships to countless women but he also raped more than 50 women. Allegedly. Thats right, we still havent forgotten about you [bleep] thats what we said. [cheers and applause] so, for standing up in the face of sexism and abuse. We present Gretchen Carlson, megyn kelly and all the women at fox who stood up to this bag of garbage, that thats what she said award. Larry holly walker and robin thede, everybody. Okay, and speaking of morally bankrupt [bleep] shows, lets check in with night two of the rnc. It was a historic night in cleveland. Donald trump clinched the nomination. His kids were the only available character witnesses they could find. There was even a real live bridge troll. But the piece de resistance was the longawaited return of my favorite republican primary candidate, dr. Ben carson. And he came out with gifted hands swinging against hillary clinton. Her senior thesis was about saul alinsky. He wrote a book called rules for radicals. On the dedication page, it acknowledges lucifer. So are we willing to elect someone as president who has as their role model somebody who acknowledges loose if yo lucifek about that. Larry i shall think about that. Okay, im thinking about it. Can i have some thinking music, please. Okay, ive thought about it. And youre a [bleep] idiot. Why is this guy speaking anyway . You know what . Its a different version of the skeazypass. The rnc gives major speaking platforms to a few black people and it doesnt matter if theyre crazy or slamming black people. They can go, see, were diverse. Thats why cnns token trump supporter and Emperor Palpatine lookalike. Jeffrey lord is so proud to say things like. Two of the most popular speakers at this convention are black americans. Ben carson and doctand uh, sheriff david clarke. Thats thatsthats nice but its completely irrelevant. But thank you, sir. [applause] larry i dont need any thinking music for this one. [bleep] that guy. So lord mentioned the other Crazy Convention brother sheriff david clarke and that guy is skeazypass in full effect. You guys know clarke, right . Hes the fox news pundit and black yosemite sam who got to loudly proclaim this at the rnc. Blue lives matter in america. Larry lets be 100 clear here. We all agree that Blue Lives Matter. Everybody already knows thats true. Its like going to a beyonce concert and holding up a sign that says beyonce is talented. Yes. She is. Right . Everyone agrees with you already. But Blue Lives Matter was never meant to just support cops, it was meant to cynically coopt the black lives matter slogan in order to shut it down. Its a message to black lives matter and the message is shut the [bleep] up. And everybody in the hall gets to cheer this because a black guys gives them a pass. Well this black guy says that pass is revoked. Well be right back. [crowd cheering] heres how it feels to have americas fastest lte network. Heres how it feels to get fifty percent off most National Carrier rates too. So, imagine how it feels to switch to sprint and buy an iphone 6s and get another one free when you add a second line. Step up to our great, cbig networke and see what weve got. Bust a move to Cricket Wireless and get the lg spree for free after 20 mailin rebate cricket visa promotion card. Dont sweat it. Just get it. Cricket wireless. Something to smile about. Heineken it doesnt do that. Control peoples minds. Awardwinning heineken light is the best light beer youve ever tasted. Thats true. I made you say that. No you didnt. Yes i did. Mmm mmm. Yes i did. You didnt. Officials are reporting, this new doritos mix is responsible for the worldwide bold outbreak. Woo hoo over you to you tom things have gone totally around the bend. Has the world gone completely bold . New doritos mix. Four snacks in one. Fthen theyre sweet. Sour patch kids. Sour. Sweet. Gone. Its gum larry welcome back. Pokeman go debuted a couple weeks ago. It has more people than twitter. Pokeman go is a government surveillance tool. So for more on this, lets check in with conspiracy expert mike yard in the latest segment of the y files. So mike, do you think pokeman go is some sinister tool for spying on us . Is pokeman go sinister . Larry, i hope you like your new ophthalmologist, me, cause im bout to tear the scales from your eyes. Larry but mike, why would our government make a game to monitor people . The nsa got in trouble for collecting phone call data. Enhh. You lose. Of course, pokeman go was created by the government, but not for gardenvariety sheeple control. Pokeman go was created to discredit black lives matter. Read it and weep, my brother. Read it and weep. Larry mike, thats absurd. That doesnt even make sense. Pokeman go is a stupid timewaster. It has absolutely nothing to do with black lives matter. Oh, come on, larry shillmore. You play by Walking Around looking down at your phone, so we cant record what cops are doing to us. [applause] larry youre saying the game is so powerful, you ignore everything around you . Hell yeah. Its that seductive. They got charizard, pikachu, vulpix. They got the eevees, and its like crack to us, larry. Crack. Hello. Gotta catch em all. Larry its not like crack, mike. But mike its that way for everybody that plays it not just black people. Psshh. Your ancestors must have been nubian, cause you looove denial. Let me ask you something, larry. Whats your favorite character, larry . Chumpasaur . Larry fine, mike. Prove it. How is pokeman go a trap specifically rigged to catch black people . Buckle up, buttercup. Pokemon. Poke, a raw fish dish from hawaii. Hawaii, barack obama, obama, hated by republicans. Republicans, fox news. Fox news, roger ailes. Who allegedly fired Gretchen Carlson for not having sex with him. Ailes is a tv set blackmailer. Anagram it, black lives matter. Boom. Right there. Got to peel the layers. Larry book . Book. Larry no boom. You dont have a single shred of proof the u. S. Government is behind this game. Okay, fine. The Company Behind pokeman go, niantic labs, is run by john hanke, who worked in the u. S. Foreign affairs. Then started a Company Called keyhole, funded by the cias Venture Capital arm, inqtel, funded in turn by the nga. The National Geospacial intelligence agency. Is that enough proof. Larry wait, mike. Is all of that true. Yes, larry. Larry im sorry. Thats actually the most plausible thing youve ever said. Wow, the nga. Uhhuh. And what kinda intel does the nga collect . N. I. G. G. A. Whaaat. Larry see, mike . You had me. And now you lost me. Mike yard, everybody. Well be right back. Fruit. Nuts. Silky smooth dark chocolate. Revel in the pleasure of dove® fruit and nut. Tmobile never stops improving. And we doubled our lte coverage. Thats right our coverage stacks up with anybody, including verizon and at t. And only tmobile gives you more than just great coverage. Now you can stream video and music free without touching any of your data. So ditch the other guys. And get great coverage and more with tmobile. We got you covered. And we wont stop with fans clamoring for our next hit album, we return to our extravagant private studio, where we turn gold into platinum. Yes, i am rich. Thats why i drink the champagne of beers. Larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. First up, nightly show contributor mike yard. Nightly show contributor holly walker. And fresh out of jail for doing the right thing in baton rouge, welcome back black lives matter activist deray mckesson. And for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter at nightly show using the hashtag tonightly. Fueled by the recent Police Shootings in baton rouge and dallas, Blue Lives Matter versus Blue Lives Matter then like a hot topic especially at the rnc conventions this past week. Check out Milwaukee County sheriff david clarke weighing in. What is your message . My message has been clear from day one two years ago. This anticop sentiment from this hateful ideology called black lives matter has fueled this rage against the American Police officer. Blue lives matter in america. Larry okay deray. You know something about black lives matter. Why do you have to be so anticop. You know the movement is projustice. And we believe that Police Officers has been held accountable in every city and every state across the country. So its not anticop but it is projustice making sure all Public Servants are accountable to law at all steps. Larry why do you think its so easy for people to believe this. People who have been at the status quo, sheriff clarke is an example. So many people want to defame the movement because they dont want to live in a world thats ungist. Its a weird thing because weve been all kind of conditioned to be believe that black equals bad. Like even in our language when we say like blackmail or black cat or black list. Like it just, thats the way were positioned to think, you know. Thats the goto position anyway. They did it with all the civil rights movement, they did the same thing. Its not hard to demonize us. Have you watched the news in america. Every news channel you watch is black people doing bad. They got black people doing bad [bleep] and there are no black people. Really a brother robbed a bank in north dakota. I saw one native american dude and he was getting arrested. So. Thats where were at. Now theres been a lot of criticism for what ill call bad actors people who are protesting saying pigs in blanket frying like bacon and that type of thing. Do you think thats hurt the movement. To the reality, theres no charge rhetoric that matches the violence the police insisted on communities. [applause] so the movement is growing in its tactics in its chance in the way it approaches the problem and it should grow. But its important to know we are up against a police force in this country that continues to kill people. Three people every day this year have been killed by the police. Larry are you frustrated by the lack of wider empathy for the women. Do you think those types of things hurt empathy for the movement. The reason i say this because when you see police shot and then those images are played against each other, i think its hard for a lot of people to have empathy for the movement. Lets be real man we all got people in our lives we cant take no where. Come on. Everybody go out with them you got to be like oh chill, what the [bleep] is wrong with you. I dont know if we all got those. Ive got a couple of them. Pigs in a blanket fried like bacon doesnt even rhyme, for one. And pigs in a blanket is sausage and not bacon. And you cant trust people who cant get their breakfast, you know, meat. Looking at the breakfast meat analogy. Exactly. You like some breakfast. Yes, you eat breakfast its not like its sausage. Larry do you think theres an issue just with the name black lives matter. Why do people have such an issue with that name. Was there ever calling it black lives matter ii. It is the truth and we shouldnt have to change the truth to make people comfortable. [applause] at this point if you claim that you dont understand what black lives matter means then youre either willfully ignorant, you got a problem processing information or youre just a plain [bleep] racist. Either way. All of the above. Larry how do you structurally get rid of systemic racism. Do you think its important of a longterm just like some [bleep] got to die off. We can change laws and structures and ways. Larry there are laws you think can help. You think about the just president obama four andahalf hours last week when he talked about the national use of force policy and all of these things larry those things can be implemented on a national scale. They can be implemented at a National Level and local and state level which is powerful but theres a broader conception of safety. If i ask you where you feel the most safe its probably not in the room full of police but people who love you. The question for us becomes highly scaled back. Thats a deeper understanding of what safety looks like. A good start would be more transparency when you investigate these situations. How are we going to believe in you if we dont believe you. I agree. Larry well be right back. I am rich. In my gentlemans quarters, we sip champagne and peruse my art collection, which consists of renaissance classics and more avantgarde pieces. Yes, i am rich. Thats why i drink the champagne of beers. Selena Gomezs kill em with will you play it again . announcer vo no matter how you use your data, verizons got your back, introducing the new verizon plan. Now get 30 more data. No surprise overages. And keep the data you dont use. All on americas best network. Library break shhhhhhhh. Have a break, have a kit kat my brother and i have always been rivals. We would dream about racing each other, in monaco. We were born brothers. Competition made us friends. Wish bold in the 2017 camry. Toyota. Lets go places. [cheers and applause] i thank my panel tonight, thanks for watching. Good night, everyone. Chris its 11 59 and 59 seconds. This is happening soon at a theater near you a tinder movie is in the works. You knew it would happen. Worst tinder date ever, starring kate hudson is about a tinder date that goes horribly wrong. Normally, thats how all tinder dates go, but, in this one, everything works out and they fall in love at the end. Oh, i almost forgot spoiler alert [beep] you if you see it