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audience chanting larry larry thank you welcome to the nightly show. You are correct. I am larry, larry, larry, larry. You know what time it is lets see whats happening wh the unblackening. Oh, sorry. By the way. On saturday, the New York Times published something that really disturbed me. The Presumptive Republican nominee coming under fire amid new allegations of inappropriate behavior with women, dozens of women revealing to the New York Times accounts of unwelcomed romantic advances, unending commentary on the female form and unsettling workplace conduct. Larry really . Trumps commenting on womens physiques . Ever see this guy . Hes shaped like a dishwasher. Hes got a lot of nerve trump was quick to speak out against the paper. Reporter a defensive trump lashing out on twitter, slamming the report as a lame hit piece, dishonest and a witch hunt. laughter larry a witch hunt . Well, to be fair, donald trump knows a lot about sexest, outdated searches for women wearing pointy headwear. And trumps not the only one going after the piece. One of the women quoted by the times, Rowanne Brewer lane Rowanne Brewer lane, had this to say. I did not have a negative experience with donald trump. The part where i went back out to the pool party and he made a comment, now thats a stunning trump girl right there, i was actually flattered by. I didnt feel like it was a demeaning situation or comment at all. laughter larry the guy calls you a trump girl five minutes after meeting you and thats not demeaning . Please note that, out of respect, i wait at least a week before i start referring to a woman as a larry lady. laughter a week. Seven days. applause thank you, maam. Thank you, larry lady. laughter although, in fairness, the New York Times may be overtrying to prove something in the piece. It may not have been the most nonagenda driven piece of journalism. The question is will it make a difference in how people view trump . Priebus all these stories that come out. And they come out every couple of weeks. People just dont care. Larry its true, his supporters just dont care maybe thats why theyre always asked to wave their hands in the air. laughter and nazi like you just dont care. laughter applause just wave your hands in the air nazi like you just dont care the other day, we heard about another embarrassing trump story. Reporter trump also denying reports that he used to pose as his own publicist in the 80s and 90s under the james john under the names john miller or john barron. Miller hes somebody that has a lot of options. And frankly, he gets called by everybody. Larry okay, think about what you just heard. That is republican president ial frontrunner donald trump impersonating a fictional publicist on his own behalf. Jokes write themselves now. laughter what bizarreo world is this . And mr. Politically correct i just speak my mind just blatantly lies about this because he admitted it was him years ago. In 1990, under oath, he testified that he did use the name john barron, and in 1991, he told People Magazine that he did use the name john miller, so this has already been admitted. Larry we know, hes such a bleep liar we know we know applause plus we know trump likes to impersonate people he does it all the time trump you ever see crooked Hillary Clinton . She walks in, this is how she walks in good afternoon, bridgeport. How are you . This is crooked Hillary Clinton. laughter larry he totally captured the way Hillary Clinton always introduces herself as crooked Hillary Clinton. You notice that . That was so life like. laughter and his imitations arent any better when he uses props. Trump its rubio cheers and applause larry man, trump has more disregard for water than a flint politician. audience reacts oh, too soon . Too soon . applause some of trumps imitations are just downright offensive. Reporter trump insists he didnt know that New York Times reporter Serge Kovaleski suffers from a physical disability that limits the movement of his arms. Trump the poor guy, you gotta see this guy ahhh, i dont know what i said ahhh, i dont remember larry in trumps defense nope. Couldnt think of anything. Sorry. In fact, this last year for donald trump has been one extended, lame impression of a human being whos ready and fit to be president. Thats all its been. For more on this, lets talk to the man himself, mr. Donald trump. cheers and applause trump youre welcome for me being here, larry. All of that stupid stuff you were saying before that no one was listening to once again proves that we are the same. Larry wait. Hold on. How are you and i the same . Trump were both tremendously gifted impressionists, seriously fantastic. Both of us, topnotch. Larry thank you, i guess . Look, thats what i want to talk to you about. Why were you pretending to be someone else . Trump excuse me. Excuse me. Thats what an impression is. I mean, come on. In fact what do you say we entertain your audience with an impressionoff . Theyd like that, right . cheers and applause larry okay, all right, fine. Lets have an impressionoff. Trump ill make it easy. Droopy dog. You go first. Larry all right, i can do that one. as droopy hello, there. Im droopy dog. And this election makes me mad. laughter cheers and applause trump not bad. Heres mine sounds exactly like trump im droopy dog. And have you met donald trump . I mean, h hes a fantastic guy. I mean, very generous. I mean, hed never do any of the bad things the New York Times said he did. Larry thats not an impression please dont clap for that. No, no, no. Thats just you talking trump youre missing the subtleties. So first round, a tie. Both excellent presentations. Round two. I know you do alando clarissian. Lets hear it. Larry as lando how you doing, chewbacca . Thank you very much. cheers and applause trump not awful. Heres mine. still as trump hey there, its me, the black from star wars. Im casting my space vote for donald trump because i hear he has a big, unbelievable large dong. laughter larry hold on a second the black from star wars . These impressions are horrible. Theyre not impression. Trump another draw. Youre tough, larry. Good competition. Two peas in a pod. One more impression. Lets hear your bill clinton. Larry as clinton i did not have sexual relations with that woman. cheers and applause trump spoton clinton i did not have sexual relations with that woman. I didnt. Larry oh, my god thats actually really good. Trump still clinton i still you who id like to have relations with, though, sexually, is ivanka trump. Man, oh, man laughter id like to ride that sex racehorse into the winners circle, ill tell you that much. Put her away wet. Larry stop i cant listen to this fine you win just stop trump back to trump voice excuse me, excuse me i know i win. Larry god, i just dont get why americans keep following you trump im like a delicious box of trump steaks. Okay . If you look at anything but the name, people think its delicious. Doesnt matter whats inside tastes like crap. Larry i agree with that. Trump, everybody well be right back cheers and applause i solemnly swear that my kfc 20 fill up will fill your family of four up, with eight pieces of delicious original recipe chicken and sides. Its a meal thats freshly prepared every day. Court adjourned colonel quality, guaranteed. Daddy doing work,d its funny that ive been in the news for being a dad. Windows 10 is great because i need to keep organized. School, grocery shopping. My face can unlock this computer. Thats crazy. Macbooks are not able to do that. Hey cortana, remind me we have a play date tomorrow at noon i need that in my world. Anything that makes my life easier, im using. And windows is doing that. Freedom is in the air. Because now youre free to watch your directv with unlimited data from at t. So snowbound family, youre now free people stuck in this elevator. Man in a trunk. Guy caught in a spider web. And couple trapped in this relationship youre all now free to enjoy a whole bunch of stuff seize the data get unlimited data when you have at t wireless and directv. Switch and get up to 650 credits, per line. Intrthe only lemon lime soda with a twist of real juice. Its a crisp, refreshing twist on lemon lime. Insist on the twist. Pg i help customerss, how with their bills. Day . Theres different rates to fit different needs, so listening is a huge part of my job. Because customers want to know that you hear them. They have kids, they have families, they have priorities. I definitely understand that. I have three children, i was a stay at home mom, i didnt have money to pay the bills, and so i put myself in their shoes. And im going to do all that i can to lower their bills and to help their situation. To choose the rate plan that works best for your family, visit pge. Com rates. Together, were building a better california. cheers and applause larry thank you very much welcome back a lot changed since the 1960s. Back then all the major wars were in asia. Hillary clinton was a Young High School republican. And a new york gay bar called the Stonewall Inn was routinely raided by police solely for being a gay bar. But on june 28, 1969, the patrons pushed back, protests followed, and a movement began. Well, now this monument for gay rights could become a monument for america. Anchor the Stonewall Inn may be headed for National Landmark status. Elected officials held a Public Meeting monday night to discuss the possibility that the president would make it the First National monument dedicated to gay rights along with christopher park, across the street. Larry yeah cheers and applause very good that is great news for the Lgbtq Community and if it happens, the Stonewall Inn will officially replace Mount Rushmore as the gayest monument in america. laughter right in come on. Guys, i mean, you know theres some gay stuff going on below the neck. Thats all im sayin. Really. Look at jefferson and washington there. And obviously, Teddy Roosevelt and lincoln are standing tip to tip. Just sayin. Just sayin. laughter a lot could be happening inside that mountain. Theres a lot of excitement about this proposed stonewall monument. And nobody seems more excited than the Richardson Family from topeka, kansas. Welcome to the show, stan, julia, and stan, jr. cheers and applause rory, grace, ricky hi. Great to be here, larry. Larry wait, are you guys camping . Rory you betcha camping in monuments is what we do. Devils tower, grand canyon, Sequoia National park. Just fun. Love it. Grace so we wanted to be the first in line at Stonewall Inn larry but stonewall isnt a camping spot. Its a monument to people who bravely fought for lgbtq rights. Ricky you really think they know what lgbtq stands for, larry . Grace oh, stan, jr. Hush. Of course, we know what it means. Lgbtq landscapes, geocashing, boating, tents and quality time with the ol family unit ricky yep, nailed it, mom. Larry okay. So have you interacted yet with any locals inside the Stonewall Inn . Rory we have. And this is a very familyoriented place everyone here is calling me daddy i am the daddy laughter grace and there are park rangers everywhere ricky park rangers dont wear leather, mom. Grace youd think. Especially in this heat hooha larry look, i dont think camping trips are what the white house had in mind with declaring Stonewall Inn a national monument. Ricky no bleep , larry. Ory junior language, please. Its cable. Ricky sorry. Larry, why dont you ask them what a grinder is . Rory what . I know what grinder is. Its a tv sitcom with rob lowe that just got canceled but its not appropriate for someone your age. A little salty in the language. Larry oh, man. Thats not what hes asking about. Look, you guys this might not be the most appropriate Family Vacation spot. Rory seems good to us. Grace dont throw garbage, sweetheart. Thats how you attract bears. Ricky mom, the only thing around here thats going to attract bears is dad. Rory well, i am the bigger one. Big and juicy. I better watch out they come up from behind ya, dont they . Larry i dont think thats what he meant by bears, guys. Look, this monument represents the struggle for gay rights. You know, the stonewall riots in 1969. I dont think we had gays in the 60s, larry. Sorry. Grace didnt guys start with ellen . Rory i love it when she dances. Ricky yeah, mom, thats when they started. Larry, can you get me out of here . Larry um, i think you have your timelines a little confused. Do you guys have any other activities planned . Rory yeah, were going to go ride a power bottom larry what . grace yeah, you know, those flatbottom boats that you take down canyon rivers. Ricky seriously, larry, get me out of here. Larry sorry, cant do that. Make the best out of it, son. The Richardson Family, everyone. Well be right back. cheers and applause im so sorry, ms. Maroney. This personal essay is way harder than i thought, its just not in my nature to brag on myself. Not even a backdoor brag . Whats a backdoor brag . Sneaking Something Wonderful about yourself into everyday conversation, like when i tell people, i cant watch musicals cause i have perfect pitch. Some carriers promise unlimited streaming, but then automatically shrink your videos so theyre not hd quality. Its not pretty. Really . Switch to verizon now, buy a galaxy s7 and get one free. Plus up to 650 back. Only on americas best network. Double down on your candy and coffee cravings with dunkins new heath and almond joy candy bar flavored iced coffees. America runs on dunkin. You didnt listen to your parents. You ignored every piece of advice. You failed over, and over, and over. And look where it got you. Time to shine. Orbit. Shoshow me more like this. E. Show me previously watched. Whats recommended for me. X1 makes it easy to find what you love. Call or go online and switch to x1. Only with xfinity. cheers and applause larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. First up, the nightly show contributor mike yard. cheers and applause the nightly show contributor robin thede. cheers and applause and hell be bringing us improv show spontaneanation to largo at the coronet in West Hollywood on saturday june 4th, welcome back comedian paul f. Tompkins. cheers and applause and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter nightlyshow using tonightly. As we mentioned earlier in the show, the New York Times did a deep dive on trumps treatment of women. They found contradictory examples of him putting women in power while also bringing them down with unwelcome comeons and mocking their physical appearance. So my question is. Why is this not going to make a difference . Because nothing has made a difference yet, not a single thing. Also, do they need to do a deep dive on this stuff . laughter age very shallow dive would have been fine, we could have gone home early. Larry the kiddie pool will suffice. Exactly. Tread a little water, youre right there. For every disgusting thing he says, there is actually a ton of people that say, like that. Thats refreshing its refreshing he treats women like garbage and gets away wit, i think is what they mean. But does he really get away with it . We act like he does this stuff and people just let it slide. People talk about every little thing donald trump says and nothing makes a difference. You know whey. Larry we expect Trump Supporters to think like we do. Do you think these people care if youre nice to your wife . They dont give a bleep . Those are his supporters. I think its so cute how we dont value women in society, so cute we love trump is this way people almost find it endearing. Larry yes, Reince Priebus yeah, my brain tries to scramble that name and make an anogram. I wish i could make one, too. Larry i just had a Reince Priebus and im recovering now. I thought it was a harry potter spell for destroying parties. laughter larry so but you have the head of the Republican National committee, the Republican National Committee Chairman who says people dont care. Who says that . I would say there is probably roughly 51 of the population that cares about Donald Trumps treatment of women very much and the other 49 are men. Larry i dont know if i agree with that. There is a lot of women that support trump in these allegations. Well, hes got 70 unfavebles with women. Women do not support him, largely. Larry lo hillarys unfavebles. Put them together and its a net loss of 20 . Im not good at math but i feel like thats 128 for hillary. Larry together, theyve lost over 127 of voters. laughter anfeel the hate larry dont feel it yet. We need more women. Trump can lie about anything and no one cares. I dont know if hes a good lier but hes definitely convincing. Hes the art yell of politicians. Hes peeing on america and hes, like, thats not me on the video. Art kelly. That lady greece. Agrees. We keep saying nobody cares. I beg to differ. I think people do care. I think theres a lot of people in this country that cares what donald trump says. We focus on the people who are supporting him. To me thats not the majority of the country, so he can say whatever he wants. Trump does what i like to call sneaky sexism. I feel like heres what it, is he promotes women into positions of power which is a very good thing. He had a woman running his construction business. But then he dose these other things yeah, get on in there and run my country you sexy bleep laughter larry some people say he gets away with it because hes rich. I dont understand that comment. What does that mean . Have you ever been in an argument when youre talking about someone you dont like like a person in the public eye and the comeback is, he makes more money than you do. Right. This donald trump is the living embodiment of that phrase. People are, like, as long as he has money, that somehow means he is correct and you should shut up. Larry its validation . Yeah, you cant underestimate the segment of our population that values this above everything else, that that just means success, that means youre smarter than everybody else and somehow a better person than everyone else. Larry its like when people say theyre a millionaire because they work hard. Nurses work hard every day cheers and applause larry how about teachers can work much harder than billionaires and theyre never going to make a billion dollars but theyre still working hard. Do you think the press is trying to bring him down . No are you death kidding me . Fox news is against this dude when fox news is against you and youre a republican fox news, i feel sad for them. They tier only ones actively trying to bring theyre the only ones actively trying to bring this guy down. laughter talking at the same time come on, work with me here larry i know. I find myself going, come on, megyn kelley i know larry all right, well be right back. cheers and applause if you live in the new york city area or are planning to visit, grab free tickets to the nightly show cheers and show me what you got show me what you got show me what you got introducing the only lemon lime soda with a twist of real juice. New mist twst. Lets twist insist on the twist. Lets twist well this is my equation for success. I developed the 4 ps. Politeness, patience, practice and. Promotion heeyaw heeyaw a superior hard apple cider inspired by the cider the pioneers drank. And they traveled this country. On foot. Smith forge. Hard cider the way its sposed to taste. Kenneth, are they closing the stage this afternoon for auditions . Whats on that piece of paper . Oh, miss maroney. Your forehead it should not be doing anything. I just had botox i know exactly whats happening happening. Whoa this is a bad streaming experience. It really shows a real fun. announcer dont let bad streaming ruin a good show. Dont look at me announcer only verizon has the largest, most reliable 4g lt network. Can your network say that . Switch now, buy a galaxy s7, and get one free. Plus up to 650 back, only on americas best network. cheers and applause larry all right i want to thank my panelists mike yard, robin thede, paul f. Tompkins. And special thanks to bob dibuono as donald trump for being here. Thanks for watching. Goodnightly, everyone cheers and applause its 11 59 and 59 seconds, the gawker isnt just that show with omar that you set your watch so you didnt feel left off, it is also the official magazine of Guantanamo Bay. Yes. Gitmo has another kind of mag. Now to read the wire magazine you think Guantanamo Bay was a tropical softball destination for American Military personnel and not, repeat not a modern concentration camp filled with terrorists in orange jump suites kind

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