My name is joe biden. I love ice cream. Captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org Comedy Central cheers and applause larry thank you very much welcome to the nightly show. Thank you very much Larry Larry Larry thank you so much. Im Larry Wilmore. Please have a seat. What a crowd, man. You know its a good crowd when theyre not just going larry. Theyre going, larry larry you okay, man . I appreciate it my brother. I said brother, i said brother. I am Larry Wilmore. Comedian and actor paul scheer is here tonight. Very excited about that. I have to tell you im excited about tonights show. You know what . Because were going to be talking about weed in a new segment i like to call larrys dank news stash. All right, we begin with the nfl. Medical marijuana use is allowed in 24 states and the district of columbia, but for athletes in the nfl, using marijuana goes against their Substance Abuse policy. One player is looking to change that. Larry he should be trying to change their approach to that other abuse policy, but thats neither here nor there. Neither here nor there. Not talking about that. But the nfl should love the idea of marijuana and football because its the only way to make league sponsor papa johns seem edible. Right, right . Thats a good thing. All right, so who is this player trying to turn the cleancut nfl into burning man . Baltimore ravens offensive tackle Eugene Monroe wants the nfl to allow medical marijuana for players with football injuries, arguing that medical marijuana could help treat chronic pain and is a far better, healthier, and less addictive option than opioids. Larry great, just what the giants need to get slower and less motivated. laughter applause sorry, giants. Now, weve talked about the dangers of opioids on the show before. Consult your nightly show almanac to get further information, but they have ensnared almost two million americans and, guys, i dont mean to bum you out, but opioids may have taken prince from us. Its awful, right . Meanwhile, the only bad thing pot has ever done is turn seth rogen into a movie star. Right . So im just saying. Potato. Pot. laughter potoh. So if a grown man wants to take something that is legal in his state, prescribed by a doctor to ease his pain, especially one that doesnt make you faster or bigger, why should it matter to the league . I mean, whats the concern . Is the nfl worried tom bradys going to wander off during a crucial drive to go follow phish around the country or something . Or is the league scared players will snicker amongst themselves whenever theres four minutes and twenty seconds left in a quarter . Question for you, nfl why are concussions the only acceptable way for a guy to lose brain cells . Hmmm . Hmmm . Let them smoke . Too soon . Too soon . Probably. Okay, time for another hit of larrys dank news stash. laughter thats just strange. Okay. Dude, check it out. I think grandmas high seniors are becoming less secretive and more serious about their cannabis consumption. The 55 and older crowd thats not old is now the Fastest Growing demographic of pot users in the country. Between 2013 and 2014, the number increased from 2. 8 million to 4. 3 million. Larry wow. Wait . 55 . Isnt that when the senior discount at dennys kicks in . Coincidence . Did you guys just hear reverb . That was weird. So, basically, instead of getting their prescriptions filled at walgreens, your grandparents are now getting them filled at the bus stop next to walgreens. Thats a pretty good deal. Look, as far as im concerned, old people should be able to have all the weed they want. Right . applause they have paid their dues, man if anybody are you kidding me, greatest generation is entitled to a powerful buzz, and not just the one they get from forgetting to split their heart medication in half, right. Okay, i think we got one more story in larrys dank news stash. Shockingly, this marijuana news comes from colorado. Pot smokers in colorado are helping send kids to college. applause larry oh. That makes sense, because the only thing that can make you feel smarter than a College Education is weed. Bro, i think i just figured out the meaning of life. Scholarships paid for with marijuana taxes. Pueblo county is now telling students its time to apply for that money. Theyre looking for Pueblo High School seniors who plan to stay in pueblo for college. Larry okay, so this pot scholarship is only for kids who want to stay in their home town . Well, if theres one thing weed can help with, its not going anywhere. Analysts say the colorado growers and buyers pay more than 135 Million Dollars in taxes last year. Larry they paid it, of course, to the highrs. Yeah. Thank you. Worked on that one day, yall. Look, whether youre for or against drugs, we can all agree that if this can help kids get an education without mortgaging their future with heavy debt, then as a society, thats got to make us feel good, right. Not because we helped them accomplish their goals, but because we just smoked all that weed. Here to outline the details of how the Scholarship Program works is Pueblo County comptroller, slade kinnebrew. applause oh, are we on . Larry yes, slade. In november, Lawmakers Said that the weed tax would provide 400 scholarships to high school seniors. Thats pretty good. But now that number is only 25. So what happened . Im just the comptroller. What do you want me to do, balance the budget . Larry yes, thats literally your job. Yeah, touche. Larry touche . Its french for touch. Larry i dont think thats true. But last time i checked, 25 was a lot more than zero. Yeah, me messed up maybe a little bit, but we are high. Larry im shocked. But students are still getting 1,000 each, right . Yeah, man were talking full ride to harvard time, man. Larry you cant pay for harvard with 1,000. Harvard junior college, man. Larry there is no harvard junior college. What happened . We smoked all our profits, dude . You smoked the profits . Yup, weve got a fullon deficit. Were going to have to tax the tax, larry. Larry larry you cant tax the tax. Stopping yelling at me. Its not my fault, man. I didnt ask for this larry yes, you did, you ran for office i did . Whoa. Larry slade kinnebrew, were not learning anything, everybody. Well be right back. If you have allergy congestion, muddling through your morning is nothing new. Your nose is the only thing on your mind. And to get relief, anything is fair game. Introducing rhinocort® allergy spray from the makers of zyrtec®. Powerful relief from your most frustrating nasal allergy symptom ,all day and all night. Hasnt your nose been through enough already . Try new rhinocort® allergy spray. Muddle no more® shoshow me more like this. E. Show me previously watched. Whats recommended for me. X1 makes it easy to find what you love. Call or go online and switch to x1. Only with xfinity. cheers and applause larry welcome back. A lawsuit left over from the jim crow era in the deep south looks like it has finally come to a conclusion. A federal court is ordering a mississippi town to fully desegregate its schools. This is the culmination of a 50year fight against the justice department. Black and white students are largely separated in cleveland. Under the order, the towns two high schools must become one. Larry a school thats finally being integrated after 50 years oh, moon guys when we first heard this story, we were so pumped up to do this this was right in our wheelhouse. We even wrote a sketch about it. I gets to go to a white school . Thank ya, jesus larry actually, mike, were not doing the sketch because something about the way this story was being reported just didnt sit right with me. Which brings me to a new segment called hang on a minute, news this dont feel right in my bones so it felt like the news reports were saying that this was the case of an allwhite school versus an allblack school and that the town was going to integrate the two into one, like some sort of fantastic racial harmony voltron. laughter but thats not all thats happening here. Lets look at the facts. At cleveland high school, about half of the students are white. Meanwhile, east side high school, situated across Railroad Tracks in a lessaffluent section of town, is nearly all black. Thats right the allblack high school is literally on the wrong side of the tracks, earning this weeks on the nose award. I salute you. But, wait, if students are already integrated into the white school, why is being covered like this . A federal court order to entigration. Desegregate. Desegregate. Ordering the two schools to desegregate. I mean, theyre making it sound like George Wallace giving his inaugural address in 1963. Segregation now segregation tomorrow segregation forever right . Thats what it sounds like to me, right . But the problem is not black students arent being allowed in the white school. Its because white students arent going on the other side of the tracks to attend the black school. But, larry, how could that be . Well, over the last 50 years, east side high school, the historically black one, has vastly fewer resources. Until recently, east side had no a. C. T. Test prep, no science textbooks for students to take home. And get this no lockers. What kind of a school doesnt have lockers . Where are these kids supposed to hang up their tiger beat with Larry Wilmore on the cover . Right . applause where is that supposed to go . And where are they supposed to shove the nerds . Which, ironically, is anyone who has a tiger beat with Larry Wilmore on the cover. laughter all right, but heres my point this story is really about the citys failure to take care of the allblack school, not about the halfwhite schools inability to desegregate. That school has both black and white students. Call it halle perihigh, if you will. Sorry, i just use any excuse to bring up halle berry. Hey, boo. laughter just racially mixed. It works. Look, no one wants to send their child to an underperforming school, regardless of race. So when these two schools are so close to each other, and yet one is so dramatically less equipped, its no longer about brown vs. Board of education. Its about brown vs. A quality education. And thats the real story that needs to be told here. applause well be right back. The captivating lexus rc, with available 306 horsepower. This is the pursuit of perfection. New aquafina sparkling. Lightness and refreshment in perfect sync. Aquafina sparkling. For happy bodies. cheers and applause larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. First up, nightly show contributor ricky velez. cheers and applause and nightly show contributor mike yard. cheers and applause and his new show for fullscreens s. V. O. D. Service, filthy preppy teen , is available now, welcome back comedian paul scheer. cheers and applause and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter nightly show using the hashtag tonightly. As we talked about earlier in the show, Senior Citizens are the Fastest Growing demographic of pot users in the country. Its amazing. But half of america is still against legalizing pot. My question is, should we just let old people who paid their dues to society do what they want . Yes, old people are having a Second Spring break in life. They have boner pills. Theyre getting high. It used to be theyd go there on die but now its to party. Larry its like the final thing. Exactly. I have no problem with it. You live long enough, you should be able to do what you want to do. Do what you want to do, if you want to smoke, if you want to shoot shoot, shoot people. Then do it. Larry heroin . Whatever you want to do. Larry really . When youre older it is easier to find a vein. Thats a very good point. The only problem i have with old people smoking weed is, you if you think they drive slow down, wait can you imagine a bunch of old people weeded on the street . I want these old people to understand weed, like, upgrades apple products. Larry what do you mean . It just keeps getting stronger and stronger. Dont smoke it thinking youre smoking 60s weed. Thats not the same weed. No, its science weed now, its science n. Larry like bio weed. Before they were smoking a little bit of weed. Now theyll be down for the count now. Yeah i dont know what youre talking about, that weed in the old days made people travel across the country on foot okay to go to a peace concert. I dont know what youre talking about. Thats how you know its not good, though. Smoke this weed, and go exercise. Actually, i do exercise on weed. It is the best thing. Do you feel focused . Yes, i feel everything, man. And then you realized there were no weights in the room the whole time. You have two dorito bags in your hand. Feel the burb larry i remember when i was a killed one of the supposed deterrents was to try to keep you off was they always said its a gateway drug. Do you buy that . Its only a gaept way drug to make tv more interesting. Larry thats the gateaway. To make tv better. If you want to watch yo, gabba, gab aits great. Its weird, because you dont think if you start early it might it wiers off or something and you want more, stronger . Larry i dont mean early in the day. If youre a teenager and you do marijuana, are you more than likely to try other drugs . But dont you think this when youre drinking, youre not trying anything harder than drinking. You have people continuing to drink. Its not like drinking leads to heroin. Larry because drinking does its job. Oh, yeah. Weed is yeah, man, weed works, larry. Larry another all right. I dont know what hes talking g about. Larry youre saying that its not a gateway that its not. Its a gateway to a job on Comedy Central. cheers and applause i dont agree eye dont know. Maybe its just me, but not that this is cool, the first time i smoked weed i was in little league. Larry little league. How old were you . Larry you smoked during the game . No. Before the game larry how old were you . 10. Larry you were 10 years old . The first time i smoked weeds. I was in the islands. Its different. Dont judge us dont judge us. St. Croix. Larry did anybody else on your team smoke weed . Everything smoked. Nobody ever hit a ball. The games lasted long as hell. Heres the thing, all your friends that you know that smoke weed are, they doing any harder drugs . No. The majority, no. I never tried anything else. Larry what do you think is the biggest societal fear about marijuana . What is the big resistance to wanting to make it legal . I dont know what the fear. My doctor told mow its lowering my sperm count. And i was like that is dope because the baby is this high right now. applause i gotta tell you, i dont know what the fears are now because as far as im concerned there is no fear. But this is what they use no societal fear. This is what they use to scare people into making weed illegal. This is the words of the commissioner of the treasure departments federal bureau of narcotics in 1930. He said if you use marijuana,ul first fall fallinto a delirious rage. Then you will be gripped by dreams of an erotic character. Then you will lose the power of connected thought. Finally, you will reach the inevitable end, end point, insanity. What kind of weed was he smoking. 1930 weed. 1930 weed. Thats p. C. P. , man. This is what they told people what weed would do to you. Larry no wonder there was a Great Depression with all that weed. If you look at amsterdam air, country where there is tons of weed, that is not a country where you look at and think im scared of that country. Theres nothing to be scared of. Nice peaceful people smoke weed. Most countries that legalize drugs, drug use goes down. Thats fact. You can look that up. Larry okay. He challenges you to look it up. Upon. Larry mike doesnt substantiate it. He says, you look up. What about the nfl . Do are you cool with players being able to smoke weed . Listen, i hang out way few nfl players. They smoke weed. Larry did you just out a couple nfl no, i didnt say which ones. Larry nfl or n. B. A. Players. S this is the only thing, i think n. B. A. Because remember when Robert Parish of the celtics got caught with weed. He had a duffel bag full of weed and he was going away for the weekend. I cant tell you who smokes more, Football Players or basketball players. But i can tell you the best sport to play when youre high. Basketball. I aint running into nobody when im high. Can you imagine being high and playing football. After three plays youre like, what are we doing . Why are we fighting with each other . Ill give him the ball, you give me the ball. We dont have to fight over this. Larry well be right back. Music sex machine by james brown shoshow me more like this. E. Show me previously watched. Whats recommended for me. X1 makes it easy to find what you love. Call or go online and switch to x1