Trump. But im sure he cant support the thuggery thats going on in these crowds. I love the old days. You know what they used to do to guys like that in a place like this . Theyd be carried out on a stretcher, folks. Larry contraried out on a stretcher . You know the president isnt supposed to openly advocate for violence, right . No, you do the right thing and quietly go through back channels to authorize drone strikes on weddings. Its called class. Learn it. Actually, my favorite trump rally ejection was this guy. Get out of here. Get out. Sure, sure. Loser larry i dont know if you saw that. Show it again. See whats on his head. Computer, engorge. applause i mean, my god, you guys hes wearing a penis hat. This is so beautifully ironic. I mean, think about it an actual dickhead is getting kicked out of a rally by dickheads who are there to support a dickhead. Pretty good. I think thats pretty good. cheers and applause but kicking out dickheads isnt the most disturbing thing going on at these rallies. Can i have a pledge, a swearing . Raise your right hand. Larry exactly. All right, this doesnt look right to me. You know what . I really dont want to make the obvious analogy, but. Donald trump is pushing back against comparisons to, yes, adolf hitler. Hes got them raising their hand, and on the right youve got them giving the hitler salute. The infamous naught i salute. If donald trump started growing a tiny little mustache, i feel like them you could really make the case. Larry thank you for making it for me. I appreciate it. The nightly show stays above the fray, you guys. But, look, people called bush hitler. People call obama hitler. But, come on, media. All were really talking about here is a guy with hair falling on his face who makes wild gestures at rallies, talking about banning an entire group of people based on their religious beliefs yeah, you hitler does kind of make sense. Surprisingly, there was actually someone brave enough that was unwilling to just mindlessly go with the crowd. Raise your right hand. I do solemnly swear leave him alone cant you tell he does not believe in this applause trying to get away another just to make a fine point here, you guys, the only creature smart enough not to join in, is the one who eats his own vomit. Just making a point. Of all the feuds trump has going my favorite is his beef with wrapper mac miller. Mac made a song called donald trump in 2011. The donald trump song just hit oifer 20 million. Larry the song went platinum, trump threatened to sue miller for royalties for use of his name. In turn, mac miller denounced trump telling his twitter followers just please dont elect this bleep man. This is all true. Now, on one hand, this is just trump being trump. But on the other hand, mac miller is here, and hes pissed. So please welcome multiplatinum selling rapper and noted trump feud participant, mac miller. cheers and applause thank you, larry. I only have one thing to say. I bleep hate you, donald trump. cheers and applause so you wanted to sue me, but then you realized you cant sue someone for just being super talented and incredibly good looking. You say you want to make America Great again, but we all know what that really means. Ban muslims, mexicans are rapists, black lives dont matter. Make America Great again . I think you want to make America White again. So i come here today as a white man with the hope that youll listen to me. In other words, let me whitesplain this to you, you racist son of a bitch. applause you see, youre lowering the bar for our nations intelligence. Your only goal is to stay in the spotlight, no matter how much it fuels the fire of hate groups that you apparently know nothing about, like the k. K. K. And neonazis. You have people at your rallies who openly assault black teenage girls because, hey, thats american. The messed up thing is i dont even really know if youre evil. I think youre just such an egomaniacal, attentionthirsty, psychopathic, powerhungry, delusional waste of skin and bones that youll applause that youll do, say, or allow anything if it means youll get another minute in the limelight. And it says more about us as a country finally showing our true colors. Not only are we letting this bleep slide, but were bleep supporting you. And if we are stupid enough to elect you, i know exactly what everyone will say. Im moving to canada. I dont want to live in a country where donald trump is president. Im gettin outta here. But you know what imma do if you get elected . Im staying right the bleep here. Thats right. cheers and applause im not going anywhere im going to be here every day telling the world how much i hate you, how much of a clown you are, and how we as a nation are better than you will ever be as a racist bleep of a human. Because i love america, and im never giving it up to a troll like you, you bitch larry oh, man mac miller, everybody well be right back. Are you eating lucky charms . No. This is a dream. Theyre magically delicious. Everyone wants to be cthe Cadbury Bunny because only he brings delicious cadbury creme eggs. While others may keep trying, nobunny knows easter better than cadbury. [sportscaster vo]command performance sales event. Theres always a cause for celebration. [sportscaster vo] with extraordinary offers on our most powerful performance line ever. Including the exhilarating is. The thrilling gs. And the powerful rc coupe. [sportscaster vo] because thrills like this. Only happen during the command performance sales event. This is the pursuit of perfection. Larry welcome back. Theres an odd association with ted cruz swirling around the internet. Its this crazy rumor that i just have to talk about. About 40 of voters think senator ted cruz might be a serial killer. laughter larry people are saying that g. O. P. Hopeful ted cruz is the Zodiac Killer. Now, this rumor and it is a rumor, guys. This is not true got started in 2013 when the twitter account redpillamerica tweeted a joke about one of ted cruzs speeches. And the tweet said, this is the zodiac speaking, and the joke that ted cruz is the Zodiac Killer has, like, stayed alive on social media ever since. But lately its been back in the news again. And heres the crazy part, you guys now people actually believe its true 10 of voters thought he was the zodiac, and 28 more werent sure. laughter larry these are actual poll results, you guys. Think about it, more than a third of florida voters think ted cruz actually killed or might have killed people. So just to be clear, more people in florida believe that ted cruz is the Zodiac Killer than they believe marco rubio could be president. applause thats florida im not making these numbers up. Okay, i have to say, especially in an election cycle, this is a harrowing example of what people are willing to believe in the complete absence of facts. And one of these peems happens to work right here in this building. So lets check in with our conspiracy expert mike yard in the latest installment of the y files. Hey, mike. Come on, mike, you cant honestly believe that ted cruz is the Zodiac Killer. Dont be so naive, larry shill more. The zodiac was described as stocky and white. Ted cruz, stocky and white. The Zodiac Killer relied on newspapers to spread his message. So does ted cruz how do you explain that . Larry theres nothing to explain those details are meaningless. Mike, ted cruz was born in 1970, and the zodiac killings started in 1968 how do you explain that . Psssh. Come on, larry didnt obama teach us that birth certificates can be faked . Everybody knows. Everybody knows. Larry mike, i have to say, your argument is ridiculous. You have no facts, no figures. Larry, buckle up. Youre in for the ride of your life. Ted cruzs name . Rafael edward cruz, which anagrams to redraw dracula fez. Everybody knows, Everybody Knows cruz looks like dracula. Real name . Vlad the impaler. Impale to stab with a sharp object. The Zodiac Killer stabbed two of his victims to death. Boom its right in your face larry boom . Boom. Larry thats not right in my face. Mike, this makes absolutely no sense, none zero. Larry, where is ted cruz from . Larry texas. Texas, lone star state. Star, starry sky. Whats in the starry sky . The zodiac. Cruzs alleged birthday, december 22, which makes him a capricorn. Whats the capricorn symbol . A goat, goat greatest of all time. The zodiac was the greatest killer of all time applause think about that for a second. Time cruz has never been on the cover of Time Magazine whaaaaaaat . laughter applause what did he just do . What did he just do . Larry what does that even mean. Blow your mind. Larry mike, give me one single hard fact that proves ted cruz is a serial killer. Look at his policies he wants to kill the i. R. S. , the department of education, the department of energy, the department of commerce, and housing and urban development. Larry oh, i kind of get what youre saying. You see it now. Larry i get what youre saying. So the killer thing is just a metaphor. Oh no, larry. Ted cruz is a serial murderer but were getting distracted from the thing i really want to talk about the fact that katy perry is actually jonbenet ramsey. Larry no, mike. Shes not, please dont. Jonbenet, eric benet, singer. Who likes to sing . Katy perry larry mike yard, everyone well be right back. Life as spokesbox is great. People love me for saving them over half a grand when they switch to progressive. So im dabbling in new ventures. It was boardgame night with the dalai lama. Great guy. Terrible player. Go paperless dont stress, girl i got the discounts that you need its a balancing act, but i got to give the people what they want more box. Any words for the critics . What can i say . Critties gonna neg. [ applause ] the what . [ laughs ] the husband and wife had lived theand he had passed away. Ars, the house just got abandoned, ya know, there were like the outlines on the wall from where the pictures used to hang. [crying] yeah, you know, it just wanted to be loved again. 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First up, nightly show contributor ricky velez. cheers and applause and nightly show contributor franchesca ramsey. cheers and applause and his latest album go od am debuted at number four on the u. S. Billboard 200, spawning three singles, 100 grandkids clubhouse, and break the law, rapper mac miller. cheers and applause and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter nightly show using the hashtag tonightly. I wanted to talk about this. Last sunday hillary and bernie had a debate in flint, michigan, and some people felt like the candidates sometimes exploit the situations that theyre at for votes, and some people felt that. There was one resident so dissatisfied with clintons response to her question about flipt, she said, i hated Hillary Clintons answer. It actually made me vomit in my mouth. Oh, man, thats really messed up. But to be fair, i mean, their presence does bring attention to the cause. Does it matter what a candidates intentions are, as long as they shine an important light on an important cause . Im going to say its great to shine a light but thats not full scope. If i call an exterminator, i dont want them to say, shout out to the roaches, hooive roaches. Can you actually do something without them . You cant just say that the problem is there. And its really sensitive for flint because people need help now. Exactly. Larry they dont need promises for what were saying intention. At the end of the day, the intentions for every single candidate is to become president of the United States. I mean, theyre all on a Job Interview right now. Like, thats what who hasnt lied on a Job Interview . I lied on this Job Interview. laughter larry wait a minute. What did you lie about . I told you i could pass a drug test. laughter applause larry all right, do you find anything problematic . Go ahead. If youre going to bring attention to, like, trying to get a certain person to vote for you, like, id rather you bring attention to flint than do the whip and the nae nae. Yes which is still, you know, stick. Like, dont dont exploit the whip and the nae nae. Larry exactly. I mean, bill clinton played the sax, and he got elected. I think its annoying, man. No ones genuine anymore. Like, hillary coming out to taylor swift . Like you cant relate to the song 22. Thats not thats not your life, hillary. You dont get it. Larry you have a problem with authenticity with all of them, right . Do you have any problem when they bring out i know hillary had well, bernie brought out eric garners daughter, and hillary had Sandra Blands mother. Does that feel exploitative . I know hillary is not friends with those mothers. I know it. I read her emails. Theres not one email with those mothers. I know that. Maybe they were texting. You dont know. Heres the thing they are grown adults. Larry yes, they are. So if they have chosen to support these candidates, im okay with it. Its not like the trump dog. Like, no one is making them do say that theyre voting for them. Its not a reallife weekend at bernies. I like to see what people do as candidates, look at me standing with this person. And then they get electsd and then, dont respond to the text anymore. Hey, new president applause thats why theres Something Special about bernie because i think hes honest. I dont know. cheers and applause i think about, like, bernies been to jail for his beliefs. He which one one was looking. When no one was looking. Hes not jail body. I went to jail for what i believe in. And thats not okay. And bernie he fought segregation and i believe him when i see him there with the black voters and trying to get that. I do believe bernie. Larry how you can tell when a politician really gives a bleep about the thing theyre pretending to give a bleep about . Jail. Thats bleep real. applause larry well, you kind of have to go by their record. I dont know if you can ever tell. Theyre politicians. Theyre trained like they have a pocket answer for everything. Like, how do i know what you care about . Like, what do you really care about . And you dont know until they get elected. Larry like the black lives Matter Movement does, it seem like the candidates really want to do something about it or theyre kind of pressured into it . I think they got pressured into it but thats the point of a protest. You have to feel uncomfortable to get results. Thats how i feel when i go to yoga. Very uncomfortable, i cry, but my ass looks amazing and i can touch my toes. So it was uncomfortable, but the got results. Larry there is a bit of backandforth. There is some posing but that is how things get taingz and things get done. What i would like to know is who spoke and comes and speaks out on these issues early . Like, thats what i never see is, like, a politician coming out and speaking on an issue before the whole world has decided. So, like, they know where the world stands. Thats kind of our job, right . applause its our job as voters to say, this is whats important to us. And thats what a protest is about. Its saying,hey, this is an issue thats important to us. We want you to talk about it. Sometimes you have to make noise in order for your issue to get some attention. Larry youre saying sometimes the best way to be an ally is when theres nothing in it for you. I just want to know i want to know who was last night, for instance, who if they didnt get the votes would still be involved . Who actually gives a bleep . Larry who really shows up. Thats what we have to base this election on. Who really gives a bleep . Well be right back. Every coconut has a dream. To come out of its shell. To show all the world its true, inner beauty. 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Siri, open maps. She gets me. Wow. It also has teen driver technology. It even mutes the radio until the seat belts are buckled. Im very curious what it is. This is the 2016 chevy malibu. And it sells for . It starts at twentytwo five. What . Oh wow. I mean with all this technology. Thats a game changer. cheers and applause thanks to my panelists ricky velez, franchesca ramsey, and mac miller. Were almost out of time, but before we go im gonna keep it a hundred. Tonights question is from thejohn06, you have to trade lives with kim k. Or stacy dash in order for trump to go to sleep for a 1 billion years. One billion . Man, that is a hard one. Come on, its easy. Larry i dont want to be married to kanye. I gotta go stacy dash. What what larry im not going to live with kanye, man. Im not going to live with kanye. You want to be kim k. . Thanks for watching, dont forget to ask me your keep it 100 questions on twitter. Good nightly, everyone from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause . Trevor welcome to the daily show, im trevor noah. Thank you so much, everybody. Our guest ton, im a huge fan, from the new move ye the brothers grimesby Sacha Baron Cohen is here. applause . Trevor the big news last night came out of the democratic primary in michigan. Thats right, people, Bernie Sanders figured out that since hillary started stealing his platform, he would start stealing her poll numbers. Bernie sanders with a big upset victory over Hillary Clinton in michigan. The biggest upset in primary history. The polls showed clinton leading sanders by 20 points in michigan, and she lost. That is as big a polling failure as we have seen. Trevor yeah, thats right. People still dont know why the poll numbers were so off. You know, was it the fact that the polls didnt account for young voters turning out or was it because of the independent voters, or was it because of that snapchat face swat that confused the [bleep] out of people. That totally threw them off. laughter you know, im not normally attracted to either of them but now bernie, hey. So Bernie Sanders victory in michigan caught everyone off guard. And i mean everyone. Bernie sanders was not expecting a win in michigan at all. He was in miami last night. He gave a speech earlier a early and went to his hotel really to retire and watch the results come in. He had to come back out and make a statement. Trevor that is so like bern ye went off to retire. I can imagine bernies people waking him up to hell tell him he had won. Senator sanders, what waws, waws waws billionaires what . What . But you know, even more than for bernie, the michigan primary was also a big win for the city of flint. Because the fight for michigans delegates brought flint more attention from the candidates than they have ever had before. It is raining lead in flint. And the state is der elect. It was beyond belief that children in flint michigan in the United States of america in the year 2016 are being poisoned. Trevor hes right it is beyond belief that kids are being poisoned in the year 2016