cheers and applause Larry Larry Larry larry larry thank you very much. Please, please be seated. Such a great crowd tonight. Look at this crowd. Please be seated. Such a great crowd. Welcome to the nightly show. I am larry wilmore. Lewis black on the show tonight. cheers and applause yup. I will be voting for him for president. You guys got it out of me. But, man, big night in iowa last night so lets check in with the continuing and seemingly nonending effort to denegroify the white house. Lets see whats happening with the unblackening. Ted cruz won last night the Iowa Republican caucus with 20 of the vote. Larry yeah, thats right, donald trump who predicted hed win so much wed get tired of it, came in second. Or in other words, youre a loosah a loosah will the owner of a blue toyota come outside. You left your lightses on. Blue toyota, left your lights on, thank you. The biggest takeaway from last night was iowas voting process. Its an absolute mess, you guys. I mean, look how they were just with the vote counting. Marco rubio. Marco rubio. Governor. Larry the guys dropping ballots. The votes are, like, dangling right by the edge of the table. America, we were once knees away from a constitutional crisis. Did you notice the guy writing down the votes was wearing a jeb vest . Its like the florida recount all over again. laughter by the way, how sad is it for jeb exclamation point that he has an operative on the inside and he still only got 2 . Im were had carla smith who we met earlier in the evening and her phone battery has died so she is not able to report the results yet to the party. Larry she would, if youd give her your phone hold on a second, lady. How did your phone die . You knew this day was coming. You had four years to charge your phone, four years could have bought an accessory. The night was soica oict, and the race was so close, and the democratic rules were so arcane, that even msnbcs ateam seem flustered. I just want to assure, steve, i didnt understand either explanation. Under many normal circumstances this 5 height might not matter, in this particular case it might matter a lot. Casy hunt, we will let you go. We know it is difficult to board a plane from a bus while accurately reporting. laughter larry does anyone who knows how hard it is to report accurately from a flying vehicle . Brian williams. Audience oooh larry i didnt make up those reports, guys. Heres the deal the republicans made it very simpleles. You vote. You count the votes. Whoever has most votes wins. The democrats, much in the same way they scheduledded the debates so no one would see them, created a Voting System so complex when the race is this close its impossible to say definitively who won. On the democratic side, Hillary Clinton is being called the winner but its a tie. How is that possible . Its a tie. Larry wait, its a tie but shes the apparent winner. There is only two outcomes to the election, guys. One is winning, and one is losing. Apparent winning is not a thing. Hey, man, the panthers are the apparent winners of the super bowl. Did they win or did they not . Sorry, man, i can only apparently pay off this bet. Sorry. Thats what happens when they apparently win. Why did they have to make this so complicated . Cant they just release the hard numbers like the republicans do . They wont release the hard numbers like the republicans do. Larry damn it i knew it but when you have an apparent winner and you wont release the vote, do you at least have a Scientific Method of determining who won . Our official delegate for this precinct is Hillary Clinton. cheers and applause it was very, very close. It was called by a coin toss. Audience oooh larry so a lady in a gym tosses a coin and you got your winner. I find it ironic that our founding fathers, like george washington, whose head is spinning on that coin, is also spinning in his grave knowing this is our electoral system, and hes probably pleading to his slaves to help him stop spinning in the afterlife. Hey, mans, thats just history. To help us understanding this confusing thai breaking process, please welcome iowa precinct captain beverly washington. cheers and applause hi, beverly. Thanks for having me, larry. Larry another now, beverly, you can tell me more about the Democratic Delegate system in iowa . Why is it so complicated . Hold on, larry. Theres a thai breaker between bernie and hillary for one outstanding delegate. Larry its still a sty thai. Who is going to won . It looks like hillary is in the lead but uhoh it looks like Bernie Sanders just pulled ahead. Larry wait, beverly, are you arm wrestling to determine who gets the last delegate . , of course. Thats official iowa state voting law. laughter . Larry to arm wrestle . How is that scientific . Larry, clearly, you dont know how politics works. Larry beverly, i think some votes just fell off the table. Yeah, those were for martin omalley. Nobody cares. laughter . Larry this just seems crazy to me. So if you win an arm wrestling match, the final delegate goes to bernie . Yes, larry. But this just in hillary is surging ahead. Larry oh, no. Oh, my gosh. Damn it hillary apparently wins the deciding delegate. Larry thats how it was done . Beverly, how is that an effective way to select our next president . Yeah, no time to explain. Ive got to start prepping for the iowa general elections. laughter that donkey isnt going to pin the tail on himself. Larry beverly washington, everyone well be right back. Oh, my gosh hi, im robin thede keeping black history 100 for the nightly show. Did you know that white cartoon bombshell betty boop was based on a black harlem jazz singer named esther jones. And fun fact, she was never compensated for her likeness and died in relative obscurity. Happy black History Month thought i told you to stay off our turf. And what would you know about turf, skipper . Lets end this here and now lets dance flo whoa there progressive covers boaand rvs, okay . Plenty of policies to go around. [ grunts ] oh, oh, im the bad guy . You threw a fish at us, so, yeah. Yeah. Coverage for land and sea. Now, thats progressive. Every coconut has a dream. To come out of its shell. To show all the world its true, inner beauty. And then, in an ironic twist, get covered up by chocolate and almonds. Almond joy mounds. What every coconut wants. After trying brookside crunchy clusters, carlybeyar tweeted at this point, i should just be a brookside chocolate ambassador. Well, i am sorry, carly. Its something you earn. Brookside. Talk about delicious. Text mom. Ill be right back. Be good. Boys have been really good today. Send. Lets get mark his own cell phone. Nice. Send. Brad could use a new bike. Send. [siri ] message. You decide. Theyre your kids. Why are you guys texting grandma . It was him. It was him. Keep your family connected. Appconnect. On the newly redesigned passat. From volkswagen. We broabout this new car. To get your honest opinion to keep things unbiased, we removed all the logos. Feels like a bmw. Reminds me a little bit of like an audi. So, this car supports apple carplay. Siri, open maps. She gets me. Wow. It also has teen driver technology. It even mutes the radio until the seat belts are buckled. Im very curious what it is. This is the 2016 chevy malibu. And it sells for . It starts at twentytwo five. What . Oh wow. I mean with all this technology. Thats a game changer. cheers and applause larry welcome back. Last week, we told you about a group High School Girls in arizona who posed if are this photo which quickly went viral and caused a national outcry. In response, a national n. A. A. C. P. Leader creted a new controversy. The president of n. A. A. C. P. In maricopa county, harris, commented on hold on a second. laughter where is the n. A. A. C. P. President . Is he behind the that old white guy . laughter oh oh, im being told he is the old white guy. Okay. I guess it is arizona. Not much black there other than their iced tea, right . Audience oooh larry again, im just giving you the facts, you guys. All right, continue, white guy leader of black people. After the meeting, it was time to talk to reporters. When he finished with one yew, he had this to say about the female reporter. Can you just talk about the yup, thats pretty bad. I know youre a white guy in charge of the n. A. A. C. P. And so no stranger to cognitive dissonance, but no one is allowed to work for civil rights and turn around and objectify women. Aise recall, dr. King wasnt like i have a dream, and check out the jugs on that butterface. Horrible, horrible. You should not have laughed at that. You really shouldnt have. For more tho, please welcome our newest contributor to the show franchesca ramsey, everybody. cheers and applause welcome to the program. Okay. So, what do you think about this n. A. A. C. P. Guy . Larry, im disgusted. Its 2016, and we still have to deal with this kind of offensive speech. Larry his comments are just so sexist. No, not that im talking about the National Association for the advancement of colored people. Really . Were still going with colored . Larry oh, oh, wait so youre more upset about that . Larry, i get it. When you were young slavery had just ended laughter and saying colored was find. Larry bleep franchesca. How old do you think i am . My generation expects more from society. Larry i get that, but this is just their name. Its kindave historical thing. No one ever says the whole thing. I dont care, larry. I know its in there and an organization that calls its people colored has a lot of nerve getting upset over someone elses offensive language. Larry another all right. Well, how about this, should it be the National Association for the advancement of African American people . The nquadrupleap . Larry, thats just stupid. laughter theres nothing wrong with the acronym n. A. A. C. P. Plus, i dont want to bankrupt them, of making new signs and mugs. Just just replace the c with something else. Like cool. Whats cooler than black people, right . Larry i know, the National Association for the advancement of cool people. Yeah, i like it. Its not cool when you say it. How about charismatic people, cantaloupe people . Forget everything i just said. How about just people of color . Thats perfectly acceptable. Larry but, isnt that just switching the words . I mean, how is that better . Because its people first, and all they have to do is just draw an arrow from the p to the c, so they can still keep the mugs. Larry damn it youre right. Thats very thoughtful of you. Its easy. Its just racist words. 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Making her first appearance as a nightly show contributor, were thrilled shes now part of our show, franchesca ramsey. And you can see him starring in abcs twopart series madoff, airing on february 3 and 4. Welcome back comedian and actor lewis black. And for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter nightlyshow, using the hashtag tonightly. So caucuses last night in iowa. The results shocked a few people. Ted cruz won on the republican side, trump came in second. Rubio came in third. The democratic side, bernie and hillary were kind of tied. Then it was announced that hillary, apparently, won, and then, apparently, she really did win today. I guess what was the most surprising thing about last night . Anything surprise buthat . The most surprising thing is its all that ben carson flew from iowa to florida to get a change of clothes. laughter larry yeah. That really, to me, is and that kind of leads into the other thing, that someone that really bat bleep crazy, scores, like, 10 in iowa. I mean, seriously. Larry what were his clothes doing in florida . Like, even his clothes are trying to distance themselves from him. applause its so bizarre to me. I was really surprised that hillary was calling herself progressive. Larry yeah. She tried to she owned that she, does like, does the whip and naenae on ellen and suddenly shes progressive. Hold on, she dabz, too. I have two words for hillary, mass incarceration. Get rid of that, and then ill say youre progressive applause . Larry so youre not buying that. No larry shes just trying to get on that bernie train . She really is. I feel like she just went on wikipedia and it makes me uncomfortable. Larry what about for you. For me, it was a coin toss. After the 2000 election the fact that we dont have just a process that makes how about this . If you like someone you raise your hand and a guy with a clipboard is like, all right, thats 12. You know what i mean . And it should be a one to one. Ist should be everyone who votes, thats the number. And you watch cnn and msnbc, they dont even understand. Theyre like, its 643 delegates one per person. Honest every person counts as a vote and the person who gets the most votes wins. I trust american idols voting process more. And that is a problem. That is a problem. Larry do you see rubio really making a move right now . That was a pretty strong third. He almost beat trump. Who do you see winning if its rubio against hillary, who wins that . Wow. I think rubio has a huge chance of upsetting hillary. If he was if everybody got sad. I dont like the scenario. You know what that scenario did . It made me realize were going to have to make a choice. Larry rubio, does he beat Bernie Sanders . I dont know. Heres the thing. A year ago, we had this conversation, i would have said already its going to be jeb and hillary. Larry i picked rubio in october. And big money always wins. And i was like its a shoo in, hillary has to win it. Now im starting to believe that the system kind of works. I dont know. Its hike it seems like people can be president who dont have a chance a year ago. But the other thing with him, is absolutely were going to watch onthejob training. And i just cant do this again. I mean, its i mean, part of barack obama i mean, part of the problem was the onthejob training. Larry come on . I know the other side of the coin i know the other side of the coin glu dont know the other side. A brother has to get in there. A brother gets in and a brother has to learn everything about that. It was absolutely that. And that was, you know but, also, it was dealing with, you know its the same position of a guy whos in the senate who hasnt been in the senate long enough. Larry cruz might be oh i dont like the thing that scares me about cruz the thing that pisses me off about cruz is the new york values thing. Hes like you have got new york valueses. The midwest is poisoning people with its water. What about those values . Ooooh that actually is happening. Larry you sound like someone jesus wouldnt like. Youre probably right. Youre probably right about that. The other thing with cruz and trump is when he opens the speech with give to god the glory or whatever the pizza maker once gave when that is the opening, you go, yay were getting pizza. But the two of them, you know,. Heres what rubios problem is right now. Both trump and cruz are bullies. So i think that theyre going to kind of punch him, you know and what i really find interesting about cruz after Everything Else is that they dont notice people dont seem to have noticed that he is a bully. Trump is an obvious bully, you know. Cruz is the bully who acts weird, and hes acting weird all the time. And so you end up doing what the weird guy wants so hell stop acting weird. Yes larry its amazing. Youre right about that. Larry trump is such an amazing trump is such an amazing overbaring asshole we cant see how creepy cruz is, is what it seems like. Cruz, what the bleep . He has, like, the shifty lizard mannize thing going on. You know what i mean . I saw that clip with his daughter. You know what i mean . And he looked at the camera like, oh, they caught me. They caught Something Real exactly. I believe theres a touch and i know this will offend you. No, no,. Theres a touch of fer net his family. laughter applause larry just a touch. All right, last one. Last one. Trumphillary, who wins . Nobody, larry. Nobody. laughter applause larry all right, all right. I think we have to end on that. Well be right back. Whats that, broheim . I switched to geico and got more. More savings on Car Insurance . Yeah brofessor, and more. Like renters insurance. More ways to save. Nice, brotato chip. 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Larry thanks to my panelists, rory albanese, franchesca ramsey, and lewis black. Were almost out of time, but before we go im going to keep it a hundred. Tonights question is from. sallykatz2501. They ask, keep 100. Is cruz more dangerous than trump . Very interesting. I would say whoa. I would say the answer is yes. Because i dont think trump even believes his own bleep . But cruz says he wants to get rid of roe v. Wade, he can go bleep himself. Larry thanks for watching. Dont forget to ask me your keep it 100 questions on twitter. Good nightly everyone captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show im trevor noah. My guest tonight, peter bergen is going us, everybody cheers and applause but first but first, obviously, we have to talk about last night. The iowa caucus, after a year of waiting, after all that build up, people finally voted. Guess what . Donald trump didnt win cheers and applause yeah but ted cruz did audience reacts oh, i thought you guys would be happen p pi about that. Ah. Also, Bernie Sanders won cheers and applause yeah, but not as much as Hillary Clinton cheers and applause its such a weird thing. So they both won, and he sort of didnt. I guess they awarded it to her, which means she can