Comedy central cheers and applause larry yeah yeah welcome to the nightly show. I know. A lot of oohs, and ooohs. And you know why, its tikas birthday. I dont like mentioning birthdays, but i love mentioning birthday. What you do on your birfday . I dont know. Im Larry Wilmore. , of course, tonight were talking about president obamas final state of the union. Funny story while i was watching it last night, i saw a bunch of tweets pop up in my timeline, all with a similar theme is that Larry Wilmore behind the flotus . laughter whos the Larry Wilmore lookalike behind flotus . And Larry Wilmore, way to score seats behind the first lady sotu. Its true. applause and there were a lot more. I dont really i didnt really know what was happening. Then i saw who they were talking about. As confident as i have ever been. cheers and applause larry that wasnt me, you guys that was satya nadella, the c. E. O. Of microsoft guys, come on, not all tallish, incredibly handsome, brown guys with extremely short hair and glasses holy crap maybe that was me holy bleep wait. Does this mean im the c. E. O. Of microsoft . Yes i guess i should let my kids know. Let me just call them on my Microsoft Lumia 640 l. T. E. Okay. How does this thing work here . How do i make wheres the keypad . How does this thing work . Why would i greenlight this . Its not intuitive at all this is terrible. I have a special announcement i am hereby resigning as c. E. O. Of microsoft. In my short term as c. E. O. , i feel like ive taken the company as far as i can. laughter can i have my golden parachute now, please cheers and applause thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, capitalism thank you very much. This is our play for this evening. But, yes, the sun is going down on Barack Obamas presidency. Now, something tells me unless ben carson can pull off a miracle rivaling the time he sawed those two damn babies in half, were probably not going to be seeing another black guy delivering the state of the union for a while. You guys. Audience ooh larry i know. There was a lot of anticipation for this speech. The room was filled with all the standard dignitaries the supreme court, the joint chiefs, even some celebrities. Oh, look at that. Dog the bounty hunter. laughter okay, im sorry. Its my fault im sorry. Okay. That was a really cheap, unfair comparison. My apologies to dog the bounty hunter. Bam did it again im so bad. All right. laughter all right, mr. President , state of the union, episode seven. Come on, man, bring it like that black stormtrooper fighting the evil empire. An Unemployment Rate cut in half. Our Auto Industry just had its best year ever. Gas under two bucks a gallon aint too bad, either. If you doubt my commitment to see justice done, just ask osama bin laden. This guy created tons of jobs. He saved the Auto Industry, and he killed osama. Ladies and gentlemen, my boy me applause but i get it. He had to be the one to tell us what he accomplished because the republicans spent most of the same period of time telling us how much of a failure he was. And they reminded us by not clapping for any of obamas autobiog stuff. And he had some words for the uncooperative folks across the aisle. There are a whole lot of folks in this chamber, good people, who would like to see more cooperation. I know. Youve told me. Its the worst kept secret in washington. Larry come on, man. We all know the worst kept secret in washington is antonin scalias fifty shades of grey fan fiction, my inner goddess was aroused the moment i saw his legal brief. laughter he held me, but not in contempt. Oh, madam justice, who knew a gag order could be so seductive . Oh, you like that. I got it on my kindle. I got it on my kindle. Okay, so it clearly seemed like obama was not going to waste his time trying to propose any new legislation or challenge for america. But then, he decided to shoot for the moon. Vice President Biden said that with a new moonshot, america could cure cancer. Tonight, im announcing a new National Effort to get it done. Larry cancer . Youve got 11 months left. laughter its been eight years, and you couldnt get guantanamo done now youre going to get cancer done in 11 months . And because hes gone to the mat for all of us on so many issues over the past 40 years, im putting joe in charge of mission control. cheers and applause for the loved ones weve all larry oh my god. Hes putting joe in charge . I love that joe didnt even know it. Look, i didnt know. That was a dick move, obama laughter this is like the last day before summer break, and youre giving curing cancer as a final assignment, right . I mean, can you imagine the type upon yieyear joe biden get to h. Hey, joe, were all going out for drinks its obamas last year. You coming . No. I gotta bleep cure cancer. Oh, sorry. Good luck. Hey man, thats some important stuff. By the way, this is one of the few areas the republicans kind of agreed with obama. Its taken eight years, and the cure for cancer is the only thing that could possibly bring these two parties together. Lets say obama does cure cancer in 11 months. Wouldnt that be pretty good . But sadly, there still may be a malignancy waiting in the wings. Well be right back. cheers and applause air horn, trap door opening rootmetrics, in the nations largest independent study, tested wireless performance across the country. Verizon won big with one hundred fifty three state wins. At t got thirtyeight, sprint got two, and t mobile got zero. Verizon also won first in the us for data, call speed, and reliability. At t got text. Stuck on an average network . Join verizon and well cover your costs to switch. 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Now, the Academy Award nominations come out tomorrow morning, so its time for our annual tradition, a preview of the upcoming black oscar snubs. applause all right, here to take us through this years list is our own robin thede. Thank you, larry. Larry hey, robin, how youqi doing . I hold in my hands hold the names of the black film stars and directors who are going to be screwed out of nominations this year because the only black people in hollywood getting any love are the ones Sandra Bullock keeps adopting. laughter . Larry man all right, here we go. The nominees to be snubbed are will smith, in concussion. Larry wow oh, my god . Really . Well, thats a surprise, robin, i thought white people loved will smith they adore will smith, but nobody saw that movie. Only white actors can win oscars for a movie that nobody saw. laughter larry really . Larry, you dont need to be Stephen Hawking to understand that science. Larry got it. Okay, our next black oscar snub. It goes to f. Gary gray, the black director of straight outta compton. Larry oh, my god. Wait, robin that was a good movie why isnt he going to get nominated . Uh, hes black and, hes a director. But mainly, hes black. Larry oh man. Are you sure about that . Hello we get called angry and loud for brushing our teeth you think theyre going to give a black person an award for screaming action at Paul Giamatti . Larry oh, yeah, you know, that actually makes sense. When you put it like that. So who else wont be nominated . Our next nonwhite nonnominee is creed star michael b. Jordan. Yes larry no wait, robin, why are you so excited . Hes not going to be nominated. I know, but its still the oscars. laughter larry so whats the deal with him . I mean, he was great in that movie hes a black man who punches people. Does that sound like acting to you, larry . Most Academy Voters think creed is a documentary. Larry oh, come on. Robin, but thats unfair Christian Bale won an oscar for the fighter. Exactly, as a good white boxer. Now thats what i call a transformation laughter larry all right, lets wrap up. Who gets the last snub of the night . Well, i have 57 more. Larry lets go with one. Okay, if i have to pick one larry i know its exciting. Its Kitana Kiki Rodriguez in tangerine, larry thats a surprise. Rodriguezs haunting portrayal of a trans woman was brave, but it wasnt Jennifer Lawrence invents a mop brave. Larry robin, this is disappointing. Rodriguez is transgender. Theyve had a great year why wouldnt hollywood celebrate her . For the same reason the bear from the revenant is going to get snubbed. Larry wait, the bear . What . Yeah, larry. Shes brown, and shes a woman. Two strikes larry robin thede, ladies and gentlemen. Well be right back. cheers and applause [ male announcer ] cats will do anything for the irresistible taste of temptations treats. What are you doing . Oh, here, check this out. [ meows ] temptations. Cats cant resist. [ meows ] one. Two. Three. Cheese yeeees hey paparazzi parents youre welcome now that tmobile has double the lte coverage, you can overshare just about anywhere. Look at the birdie you used to have hobbies. Now you have a baby. So go ahead. Post away hey, first kid . Yeah. Tmobiles new extended range lte now reaches twice as far and is 4 times better in buildings. Did you ever think were maybe oversharing . No. Give extra. Get extra. cheers and applause larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. First up, nightly show contributor mike yard, nightly show contributor holly walker. And you can see my next guest hosting the chew on abc, chef, writer, and restaurateur, mario batali. cheers and applause and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter nightlyshow using the hashtag tonightly. Earlier in the show we talked about obama, state of the union speech. Now, i want to talk about the job we think obama has done for the last eight years. First of all, did obama solve racism . laughter i think he did it yesterday, right . Larry its solved right. After yesterday its done. I havent been called bleep all day. All day. Larry a lot of people feel like the country is more divided now. Do you think thats true than when obama came into office . Does that feel true to you, mario . I would say being that our political and Economic System is based on dwar winnism, that someone has to fail and someone has to win, everyone thinks more about only winning and that theres no chance to share any of the win with anybody else. So everyone just doesnt want to gree in any way which makes it a very tough thing but thats our system. I would say were as divided if not a little bit more right now. Larry yeah, its hard to say. I think a lot of things are just more out in the open. I agree. I think it has always been this divided. We just are seeing it more now. I think people have always felt that same way where its just out in the open. Larry like, obama i mean, america got a black president prt. Its like when you get a new car that youve never had. I got a honda, and now i see hondas everywhere. Everybodys got a honda. Larry we got a black president , how come there are black issues its true, though. Larry exactly. I think thats what it is. Its out in the open now. How has obama dozen d. N. A. For the black community community, do you think . Do you think the black community is disappointed in obama. We disagree . We do. I feel like he said been absent. And when it comes to a lot of our issues, things didnt get better. Hes been there for seven years and i dont feel like i had a black president. I feel like i had a president. You know what i mean . Thats what youre supposed to feel like. What bill could he have passed thats who i voted for. But what bill could he have passed i voted for the black dude. And hold on, hold on, so did i. Exactly so you expected more blackness. Am i right . Im not sure really i put him in human first, them american, then dude, then black guy. Yes, he happens to be black. I am a human black man that grew up in america with 50 white president s and one black one. I need you to be a little bit black. If he would have been a little bit blacker, he would have been a little bit shotter. What kind of bill could he have passed for im not necessarily i Want Congress to sign the black bill. Right, right. Im not necessarily saying sign a black bill. What im saying is black lives matter was happening and it took him forever to come out and Say Something and support it and defend it. Hes deported more mexicans than any other president. Loving hiphop has blossomed. I mean, come on thats the worst thing for black people. And i watch him every week, every week. Larry youre blaming obama for that . Yes, it happened under his watch. He could have done something. Larry oh, my god. Horrible. Think about this glak gay people can now get married. They are living high on the hog right now. Black people won. Larry l. G. B. T. Rights, obama is i mean, he has been an advocate for those rights. I mean, many good things have happened during his presidency, right. A lot of good things have happened. A lot of great things have happened during his presidency, despite the fact he had to fight the entire time. Everyone was against him. Not only the republicans. Quite often the democrats were against him, too. Larry remember obama said he evolved. Exactly. Larry he evolved on gay rights issues. And the republicans were screwed at that point because they dont believe in evolution. applause we cant evolve on that. What about Foreign Policy . It depends on who you talk, to right . Larry yeah. At least now we talk to iran. Like, we got our guys back from them yesterday. That was an amailsing thing that might not have happened five or six years ago. I mean, if you talk to mexico, i dont know if weve been a great neighbor yet. Larry we helped them get el chapo. Well, sean penn did. International policies based on the way we look at are looking at Global Warming, he kind of led the road there. We feel good about that. Larry hes been an advocate there. I think thats been one of his strongest Global Warming hes been very strong. Hes been very strong on that. And his Foreign Policy has been pretty good. If you talk to people in cuba, they would be like, i like that guy. Thats a good guy. Larry obama doesnt believe america should be the worlds police. I dont believe that, either. Larry like isis, if we just believed in americas beliefs, i think it would be over now. Bam, bam, bam bam bam stop, or ill shoot larry what, now thats bad . Come on, you guys. Sensitive crowd. Larry now, how about the economy . What do we give obama on the economy . The economy was in a freefall when he started . It had fallen. It was not in freefall. It was pressing that life alert button like, ive fallen and i cant get up. That was our economy. Larry why do people think the economy is not doing well . Is it that the economy is not doing well or that its not being shared in the right way with everyone who is participating in the economy . I dont know i think a lot of it comes from the media. I think, like, but, also, fox news is saying like, its horrible. The economy is bad. Barack is doing a horrible thing. And the more bleep you hear, the more you start to believe it. You know what i mean . Like, in you hear listen to fox news. Like, i shouldnt even be sitting with this many black people right now. So you start to believe bleep . These politicians that say the economy is bad, do they do they think were stupid . I mean, they must think were stupid, like we dont have google, like we cant check. You know what im saying . Like, when they say that, we live here. We know whats going on. Like, when they say that were going to be like, really, its doing bad. Larry i was busy working. Whenever the American Economy does good, the rich get richer. We add jobs, so thats fundamentally what were looking for, getting people to work so theyre all playing on the same field. Larry a lot of the problems have been going on a very long time. A lot of the poor have not been doing well, and a lot of the 1 is making a majority of the profits here. Thats why people like bernie are really making a difference. cheers and applause so theres a lot of angst in there. Even though obama did a good job, theres a lot of work to be done. Its way better than eight years ago. Its much better. Eight years ago i didnt have this fantastic job, so its working great for me. Larry we gotta go. Well be right back. cheers and applause im just an average everyday College Student and definitely not colonel sanders. So i really enjoy a great lunch like this kfc 5 fill up with delicious one hundred percent white meat popcorn chicken and all the fixings. Its Finger Lickin good. This is me talking to hela policia. Cancun. This girl . Totally sweating me. And uh, i dont even remember taking this one. You realize this is a job interview. I know, i wanted to show you how proficient i am in social media. Well be in touch. Excuse me. Hello . Hi, im just following up on the interview. Dimpatient. Dim and impatient. Hunger keeps inventing new problems, so we invented new snickers crisper. Is that the famous food critic perfectly thin and crispy. Freshly roasted chipotle peppers. Um. Mild smokey taste. He knows this isnt a restaurant right . New tostitos cantina chipotle thins. Tostitos. Bring the party. cheers and applause larry thanks to my panelists, mike yard, holly walker, and mario batali. Were almost out of time, but before we go, im gonna keep it a hundred. Tonights question is from kcjuvi. And they ask, would you publicly endorse trump, without having to vote for him, for the winning Powerball Ticket . Hashtag keep it 100. What is it up to right now . 1. 5 billion. Larry its a billion dollars. Hold on. Heres bleep . No. Hold on. I cant do it i cant do it i cant do it its a billion dollars, you guys thanks for watching. Dont forget to ask me your keep it 100 questions on twitter. That wasnt fair. Its a billion dollars. You know you would take the money. Goodnightly, everyone chris its 11 59 and 59 seconds. This happened on nfl. Com the st. Louis rams are officially moving to los ang less [ applause ] chris angelenos seen happy about this. This will immediately double the citys body weight. The rams will probably spend the next five years waitressing before moving home to mary ann accountant and have kids. I know you have seen this video. Its so good hey, hey hey, hey