applause and an armed militia has taken over a federal wildlife refuge in oregon. Hey, armed militia as long as youre in oregon, why dont you go ahead and die of dysentery . Happy new year, america this is the nightly show cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central larry yes welcome to the nightly show audience chanting larry thank you so much yeah we are back, man im your host, larry wilmore. Weve got a great show tonight. I just wanted to let everyone know that, at the end of tonights show, im going to answer one of your questions from twitter, and i got to keep it 100, so make sure you stick around for that. But first, happy 2016, everyone cheers and applause im so excited to be back. I hope everybody had a good christmas. applause mine was okay. I got some good gifts. I got a nutribullet. laughter but i dont mix anything. I got the whole season of c. S. I. Cyber on regular d. V. D. laughter hello . Brothers got a bluray player. Oh. I did get ten outbucks, the Outback Steakhouse currency. Its kind of like bitcoin but at a restaurant. So i inhaled a bloomin onion yesterday. That was pretty good. Ill be honest with you, im not complaining. Im just happy to get anything, its the thought that counts. Oh, wait. bleep . Im sorry. I have one last present. From the comedy gods. Happy 2016. Whaaaaaaat . cheers and applause oh, my gosh oh, my gosh its bill cosbys mugshot this is exactly what i wanted how did you know dammit, i should have saved those outbucks. I couldve celebrated. Disgraced Comedian Bill Cosby arm in arm with his legal team facing criminal Sexual Assault charges for the first time. The Montgomery County d. A. Filing the charges before the 12year statute of limitations was set to expire in just weeks. Larry yes we didnt forget about you, bleep , and now neither did the Justice System cheers and applause bam bam so bill cosby finally may face some legal consequences for preying on women. Hes putting together a defense, which dre hey, larry . Larry its dre, our director. Whats up, dre . Dre i heard bill cosbys going to rot in jail for all eternity that calls for a balloon drop larry no, dre. I just said cosby already posted bail, which makes me question if youre even watching the show. Dre sorry, larry. I got one of those cool Remote Control star wars robots for christmas, so i have been a little distracted. But its cosby in jail come on, let me drop at least a couple of balloons. cheering larry okay, fine. You can drop a couple of balloons. laughter larry so sad okay. I wasnt sure what that was. So hes out on bail. But the case is like a slam dunk, right . Hes going to get convicted, right . What challenges, if any, does the prosecution face in proving cosby guilty . This particular case, you dont have physical evidence. You dont have eyewitnesses. Theyve got to prove something that happened 12 years ago without physical evidence, and when the woman reported over a year after it happened. Larry oh, umm, i know we bothers tend to rail against a rush to judgment, but if you could rush to judgment on this particular case, i can talk to the brothers, make sure nobody gets all riled up. Before we get another o. J. Sitch on our hands. Trust me, you will thank me on that. Right now, the only satisfaction we get is this pathetic little perp walk. laughter ooh, can i see that stumble again . And slow it down. I want to savor it. i will remember you by Sarah Mclachlan playing over slomo of the stumble larry mmm, thats the good stuff. Id say thats like chicken soup for the soul, but bill cosby would probably drug the soup and try to rape my soul. So i cant audience reacts yeah, i cant really use that. And is it just me or did he seem a little too pathetic in that clip . Despite what you may have seen in ghost dad and leonard part 6, cosby is an actor. Right now, hes playing feeble old man trying to garner sympathy. as cosby. im just an old man, i can barely walk by myself. I mean, i couldnt rape a fly, and not just because i dont know what their sexual business is all about down there, with the suckin and the feelers and the one thousand eyes why is he acting like he cant see . There have been some reports that he may be having trouble with his vision. He may be having difficulty seeing. He may be partially blind. Larry blind . Is that going to be his defense . That he couldnt see what he was doing . as cosby. your honor, i thought i was putting the creamer in those cappuccinos, you know, with the hazelnut and the vanilla and the International Delight baah laughter but look, even if he doesnt get convicted, this is still a good thing. Because for too long, the women who have accused him of this crime were not being listened to because they were being silenced by a powerful man and a complicit culture and, now, finally, regardless of what happens next, theyre being heard. And thats a start. Well be right back. cheers and applause tim thinks you need to be a mastermind to do your own taxes. So, we flew in a mastermind to help him. Well, did you buy a home . Yes. Then id press there. Intuit turbotax. cheers and applause larry welcome back. There was another story that happened while we were away that we need to ac a knowledge. An ohio grand jury declined to indict two white police officers, Timothy Loehmann and frank garmback, in the shooting death of 12yearold tamir rice. Larry well, merry bleep christmas, black people its a new year but youre getting the same old bleep now, tamir rice was the little boy in cleveland shot while holding a toy gun. Reporter prosecutors say the Police Radio Dispatcher was also to blame for not telling the officers that the gun may have been fake. Larry yeah, seems like a detail you might want to mention. Look, this is a frustrating case for a lot of people because its almost become a symbol of how black people feel theyre being unfairly treated by police. Sure, you could have thought it was a real gun and you could have every right to be cautious about that, but they shot him so quickly. Now you might say, well, this is how the authorities are trained to react this way when someone is taunting them with a weapon. Unless, of course, those people dont fit the description. More now on armed takeover at a federal wildlife refuge in oregon. Antigovernment militia members have blocked access to the site. One militia leader told a local reporter that the protesters are ready to kill and be killed if necessary. The feds have called for a peaceful end to the standoff. Larry peaceful end . well, okay, not that it shouldnt be a peaceful end, but the guys already said that they will kill, if necessary but youre right. Showing restraint is the right thing to do, but in all cases cheers and applause okay, calm down, larry. Calm down. Okay, so what is their issue . Larry theyre upset about the prosecution of a father and son. Two ranchers. Slated to report to prison monday for setting fire to public land. 130 acres of land. Just seems like a little overreach. Larry overreach . I mean, setting 130 acres of public land on fire is just good clean fun, but i feel like Something Else is going on here, too. Whats your real beef with the government . Theyve used the courts to prosecute and to basically take the land and resources away from the people. Larry i agree with you. The government should give the land back to who it belongs to. cheers and applause unfortunately, we cant do that. sad music larry i feel like i must be missing something with the oregon situation. So here to help us better understand the occupiers demands is an actual oregon occupier, trig stack. Rory thanks for having me, larry. Larry trig, what exactly is your group doing . Rory were exercising our rights as americans, larry. Its not the governments job to go around telling regular folks like us whats public land and whats private land. Larry yes, it is. It literally is. Thats why people have governments. laughter rory what you call government, we tall tyranny. I mean, whats next . Is it government gonna start telling people how fast they can drive or how much lead we can put in baby food . I mean, come on where does it end, larry . Larry there shouldnt be any lead in baby food yes thats a good thing for the government to do thats the point of living in a society rory this isnt society. Its oppression. So were doing something about it. Its just like Martin Luther king said, if youre sick of being oppressed, get a lot of guns and take over a federal building. End quote larry Martin Luther end quote larry Martin Luther king never said that i dont even know where you got that from. Rory like the lead in the baby food, were going to have to agree to disagree. Look, larry, its a simple principle. Larry you need to back that up. Im in oregon. I dont know anything about black people, literally. Youre the first one ive seen, so i have no larry okay. But the point is this, this is a simple principle. Basically, if you dont like whats going on, an american principle, you arm up and kick some ass, baby, its the american way larry thats not the american way. Actually, it kind of is the american way. laughter rory larry, i dont know about you, but i dont want to live in a country where you cant light 130 acres of pristine protected land on fire without johnny law coming to get you. No, thank you larry what are you saying . The only reason its pristine is because johnny law preserved it otherwise, itd be condos and golf courses. Rory oh, thats a great idea. And i know just the man to do it. Trump 2016. Make America Great again larry i figured it must have been Something Like this. Trig stack, everybody. cheers and applause well be right back. This is violet. Shes been waiting for this moment for awhile. A moment other kids wouldnt think twice about. Her first bowl of cheerios. Because now that cheerios are gluten free, violet, and many others are enjoying their first bowl today. Okay, what is this . Its chewy. Really icy. Wooh. Thats intense it just hits you. Its gum. No. Its totally a mint its disappearing as i am chewing it. Where did it go . Its not a gum. Not a mint. Its a breakthrough in cool. Ice breakers cool blasts. Searchingcan you help . Used car . Start with the millions for sale at the new carfax. Com show me oneowner cars. Thats amazing. Plus you get a free carfax® report. Start your search at carfax. Com cheers and applause larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. First up, the nightly show contributor mike yard. cheers and applause the nightly show contributor holly walker, and shes the host of mtvs decoded. cheers and applause welcome back comedienne and vlogger, franchesca ramsey. cheers and applause for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter at the nightly show using the hashtag tonightly. As we talked about earlier in the show, its 2016, and bill cosby got himself arrested. cheering hes gone and did it. It feels like a victory, but do you feel hes going to be convicted . Im a little suspicious. No, but it feels like a little bit of a victory. I will take whatever i can get. laughter its kind of like the first week at a gym membership,eth a victory. Larry were working out but were only four days in. Next week ill be eating all the leftover pie, so it wont be as much as a victory. Larry im not sure if your metaphor is working. Not working . I would say maybe. Larry maybe a victory . I would say maybe he will be convicted. Hes not a cop and he didnt kill anyone, so. Larry she a very famous person he is a very famous person. Its amazing. Dont think hes going to get convicted. If its a victory, its the worse ever. Its like the line backer that sacks the quarterback when his team is down and celebrates and its yeah bleep youre losing, its the first half larry taco night over bleep tacos, right . And i dont see that as a victory at all. Hes not going to jail. Not unless they take his money. Larry do you think it makes a difference he has a black female attorney . No. Larry is he being m manipulative . I think its another case of a woman hes paid often. Larrypaid paid off. Larry lets keep it 100 shes just making sure the check clears because we all know hes guilty. Its like bad numbers. Its like 50 women it took to get this guy arrested. Its like slaves. Its like the compromise. It takes 50 women to get one dude arrested. Larry our metaphors tonight, youre really getting down, guys. Its the signs of the new year the blackwoman is a cheap trick. Its like hiring johnny cochran. How can he come off as less and a rapist . I have a woman lawyer, i cant be a rapist laughter its a cheap trick. Its, like, i cant be a rapist because i have a black friend. Yeah. Larry she was defending him on the air before she became his lawyer. I think she believes he didnt do it. There is a lot who think this is a conspiracy to bring down a powerful black men and are pointing out the media likes to do this. bleep . That really confuses me. I saw a tweet from walk waka fa who thinks bill cosby is being framed. Bill cosby is all respected in politics. And he raps about how hes trying to bring down the black community and were saying bill cosby hates you, why arent you going after this man . Theyre going after him i think because hes a rapist. In the deposition he said he has drugged women for the purpose of having sex with them which, p. S. , if youre drugged you cant consent. So, no, hes escaped having any consequences for all of this time. It has nothing to do with his race. There is a conversation to be had about how we talk about black you know, black people and white people in the media, but this is really not the he was americas dad until he started raping people, and then laughter larry no, no, no. Until it was known. Until it was known. Larry a lot of people get the talent confused with the thing. You can be a serial rapist and be funny. Yeah. Larry arguably he is the funniest serial rapist ever. I grew up with a lot of people who are talented and assholes because i have been working with them larry people bring up all the positive things hes done for the community. He helped a lot of people go to college, done a lot of scholarships. Yeah, but he was raping people while he was doing it. I just cant let that slide. Im sorry. Larry i cant let it slide either. Good people do terrible things. I had a bad guy help me put together a dresser from ikea once. Slave math is true. Larry slave math does not hold up. I would disagree with you on that one, larry. When wrote that, i was, like, im going to kill him with the slave metaphor. Larry well be right back after this. [ scanner beeping ] sir, could you step aside . Sir . Come on. You know who i am. Progressive insurance . Uh, i save people an average of over 500 when they switch . Did you pack your own bags . Oh right the name your price tool. It shows people policy options to help fit their budget. [ scanner warbling ] crazy that a big shot like me would pack his own bags, right . [ chuckles ] so, do i have the right to remain handsome . [ chuckles ] wait. Uhoh. I absolutely love my new but the rent is outrageous. Good thing geico offers affordable renters insurance. With great coverage it protects my personal belongings should they get damaged, stolen or destroyed. [doorbell] uh, excuse me. Delivery. Hey. Lo mein, szechwan chicken, chopsticks, soy sauce and you got some fortune cookies. Have a good one. Ah, these small new york apartments. Protect your belongings. Let geico help you with renters insurance. cheers and applause larry thanks to my panelists mike yard, holly walker and franchesca ramsey. cheers and applause im going to answer a question and keep it 100. Dishon gill. He asks, you are given three options before they kill you drink bill cosbys champagne or help trump win the presidency. Whats the choice . First of all, dishon, you said thered be three choices, and those were only two. Im going to assume you ran out of characters. I gotta go with cosbys champagne. At least then i only get bleep for one night instead of four years. cheers and applause good thank you senator Bernie Sanders is here tomorrow. cheers and applause tweet us your questions for bernie and well make sure he keeps it a hundred goodnightly, everyone cheers and applause trevor happy new year, everybody, tonight well cover the news we missed over the holidays and see how the republican candidates spent their new years eve. If you guessed snorting cocaine off each others again i tales, youre right. And my guest tonight is david cross. Im trevor noah and this is the daily show. January 4th, 2016. Sphr Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah