Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central larry thank you very much thank you thank you. Thank you audience chanting larry larry oh, thats good very nice larry. Very good, very good welcome to the the nightly show. Im larry wilmore. We have a Great Program tonight. Bill nye the science guy the joining us on panel, so that should be a lot of fun. I have a lot of science questions for him. But first, its time for an election update. Roll that beautiful intro yeah, its the unblackening whos going to try to unblacken us now . Im ben carson, and im a candidate for president of the united states. cheers and applause audience booing larry were going to reblack . Is his whole Campaign Based on once you go black you dont go back . All right. Actually, its Perfect Timing for dr. Ben carson to jump in. Black guy, spent the last three decades working in baltimore. Hes definitely going to capitalize on all of that to score some points in the community. Youre obviously in florida right now talking to me. Larry florida . Is there a baltimore, florida . Oh, i get it maybe hes in florida to clear his head so he can work on his baltimore strategy. Nice. Good play, doctor. Why arent you there . Because im here. I can only be in one place at one time. Larry you dont have to be so snippy about it, doc. Its a good question you are a black dude from baltimore running for president. Do you have any plans to go . Ive weighed in on this in multiple situations, so im not going to break commitments that i have elsewhere when i can easily get the information disseminated. Larry okay, brother. Youre not going to go calm down somebody needs to check his bedside manner. Are there any candidates for president who have visited baltimore . Oh rand paul. He spoke at howard, hes all about criminal justice reform. Hes probably on the Midnight Train to baltimore right now. Its depressing, its sad its scary. I came through the train on baltimore last night. Im glad the train didnt stop. audience reacts larry its sad, its scary and im glad the train didnt stop . How president ial it reminds me of that famous kennedy speech ask not what your country can do for you ask how you can avoid the most troubled parts of your country all right. cheers and applause particularly the darker parts. Rand paul wasnt the only one who wasnt paying close attention in baltimore. Watch what happened when this cnn reporter thought he was interviewing music mogul Russell Simmons when, in reality, he was interviewing Russell SimmonsBusiness Partner kevin liles. And we have a couple of local celebrities here who are about to talk to us. You bear a striking resemblance to Russell Simmons. You tell me youre not him, you tell me youre kevin liles. Im not sure i believe you. We think this is Russell Simmons. Larry wolf, no we dont. Dont listen to him, wolf. Oh, so all brothers look alike huh, guys . You know what . Im sick of this. Lets get a picture of kevin liles and Russell Simmons side by side and put an end to this ridiculous myth that oh, they do kind of look similar. laughter im glad we had the names underneath. Okay. I guess the lesson here is that some brothers may favor each other. But even so, in what world do you think Russell Simmons is lying to you about being Russell Simmons . Here to tell us more about the situation on the ground in baltimore is the nightly show white guy jack. Larry hey, jack. Whats going on on the ground in baltimore tonight . Jack everybody whos anybody whos black is here tonight, larry. All the big names denzel p. Diddy, buster douglas, barack obama. Larry wait, jack. Are you sure the president was in baltimore . Because the president was in the bronx today. Jack president s got to move fast larry. Thats part of their mystique. But it was definitely him. He came out of one of those portapotties by himself. Hes smaller in person and seems kind of fat, too. Like fiveseven larry no, okay, jack that is definitely not him. I dont think you saw obama. I think you just saw a random brother. Jack not true, larry, and it wasnt just obama. I saw prince, beyonce, morgan freeman, sammy davis, jr. Larry wait, wait, wait sammy davis, jr. . Hes not even alive. Hes been dead for years. Jack well, he looked pretty good today. But the biggest one of all let me show you. I have a clip of it. Yeah . Huh . Larry who was that . Jack larry, thats oprah larry oprah . Only the most famous woman in the world. Larry first of all, she doesnt even look like oprah. Secondly, shes in a wheelchair jack yeah, i know. Its kind of sad. I guess after her show got canceled, she hit some hard times. Larry look, jack, i think you need to stop making up who people are. Have you ever considered asking somebody who they are and just believing them . Jack that doesnt sound like journalism, larry. Oh rick james rick larry jack, everybody cheers and applause although reporters may have been confusing people, the police were not. Now look how the Police Responded to this black guy who was out past curfew. Now, you might say, well, larry, hes out past curfew, hes wearing a bleep the police tshirt, hes walking towards the police. Why reason with him . Please, please, larry. Dont make this about race. Im sure they treated anyone out past curfew the same. Okay, i know youre going to show us a clip of how they treated white curfew breakers. Yes, thats exactly what im going to do. applause do me a favor. The last thing i want to do is put someone in handcuffs. Larry one gets pepper spray, the other gets please. Im not trying to make this a race thing it just is well be right back if you havent heard about the latest sale at hotels. Com, then you havent see n this commercial. Book now and save during the Memorial Day Sale at hotels. Com. What do you think . When i first sit in the seat it makes me think of a bmw. I feel like im in a lexus. You would think that this was a brand new audi. Its like a luxury car. Feels kind of like an infinity. Very similar to a range rover. This is pretty high tech. Yeah it is. It reminds me of a mercedes. This is chevy . Laughing i have a new appreciation for chevy. They thought about me. I could totally rock this. This thing feels pretty boss. It looks kind of dope. Thats pretty cool. This is the jam. Pretty bomb dude. Maybe i will go chevy. Im definitely in. Break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. Ice breakers. Have a day to remember. Its easy with a free Red Velvet Cake with a 10 piece meal or larger. Only pull n peel lets you pull it, peel it, play it. Fun never tasted so good with chewy, fruity pull n peel candy from twizzlers. It larry welcome back if you have been watching the News Coverage of baltimore, you know the News Coverage is of aggressive and violent coverage. Joining us is our the nightly show reporter jordan carlos. I thought, let me make a name for myself on the streets of baltimomo. I found some action. Take a look. Come on, we are at the butt end of the demonstration right now. Were about to meet a lot of people. Were going to catch up, comingle with the crowd, see what theyre into. What does it feel like to be the cutest common administrator out today . Imits feeling good. Larry . Jordan youre darn tootin it does. I cant keep up with justice. I love what youre wearing its fine. Should we all go to joseph bank and get a nice suit. Youre taking it to the old kind of civil rights. Malcolm x started in jeans and a tshirt and went to a zuitsuit. Jordan were so far behind in the rally people have lapped us. I wish it was a 2529 demographic common administrator, if it was a little slower, it would be great. Do you have Something Like an uber here . No. Probably five times the price now. You know what im sayin . Jordan no justice, no peace man. Thats injustice. Thats injustice. Larry jordan, i thought you were going to give us some grit, some gang stuff, really get into is it guts of the story. Jordan you didnt like what that guy was wearing . He was wearing a jacket could have gone down any second. Larry she was a 4yearold girl. Jordan she was five. Look at the future of Justice Larry what about the pepper spray and the curfew, so much grittiness what was that . Jordan that was crazy i dont know if you notice im black and i dont want to be near pepper spray at all. Im not a huge fan of confrontation. I went to brown. So laughter im a food coop guy larry jordan carlos, everyone well be right back when you get up to 40 off thousands of hotels with travelocity it means you can also afford to get up to 40 epicer epic rides. Making it the place to find a place for memorial day. Go and smell the roses. Music plays love you by the free design attendant welcome back. Man thank you. Its not home. 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Toothbrush, sweater, extra sweater, headphones, sleeping mask oh, and this is the xfinity tv app. He can watch his dvred shows from wherever he wants. Hey have fun. Make some friends. All right . Did i mention his neck pillow . [inflating noise] watch your personal dvr library wherever you go with the x1 entertainment operating system. ® cheers and applause larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. The nightly show contributor ricky velez. cheers and applause the nightly show contributor mike yard. cheers and applause and americas number one creationist just kidding bill nye the science guy. cheers and applause look at that wow you know bills going to drop some science on you. laughter a lot happened over the weekend. Lets get to it. I want to show it again the brother getting the pepper spray. cops saying please to white kid this is what happened when the white guys were out past curfew. Im going to ask you now to please leave. Larry my question to you, bill nye the science guy, from a science perspective is pepper spray not effective on white people . The little bit of testing ive done its really effective on my people. laughter just like your people pepper spraywise. Obviously, it doesnt work on black people because he took that one. He kept going took that like, yum yum, yum, yum yum we need a burrito. He was about to hulk out and go down it only works on white people if its organic. laughter kosher organic. Larry in all fairness, he was wearing a bleep the police tshirt. Thats a message. Larry exactly. How does that factor into the decision to pepper spray. If you come up to me with a bleep you tshirt im going to punch him in the face laughter but thats the problem, people look at it as negative. The cops could go out and have sex with a cop and stop shooting them it could be song lyrics. Exactly. Larry you dont see it as positive, the bleep the police tshirt . Not right away. Maybe he was talking about the band, the police. My mother loves them. Larry wouldnt that be horrible if that was it and this happened. That would be a tragedy. The guy insisting kevin liles with us Russell Simmons. Lets see that again. You tell me youre kef kevin liles . We think this is Russell Simmons wolf. Larry bill nye the science guy, is there a scientific explanation of this or is it just douchey . Before we go down the race road larry oh, i didnt go down there i said douchey. No, you never do. laughter , no douchey yeah, if i if the producer is in your ear and youre under pressure, thats the guy from def jam thats the guy im telling you you know, like hes listening, and then larry hes like no bleep that guy. Hes Russell Simmons exactly larry like the guy is going to say youre right, what was i thinking . Right. My take on it, it doesnt bother me. If you dont live around black people, if you havent been around a lot of black people i can understand why you might not be able to. Listen i dont live around a lot of white people and sometimes yall blend. Im sorry. You do. I saw you eight times today. Eight times. On the train. I was like, he was singing, right . On the e train larry you saw him eight different times . Eight different times. Youre catching on. I larry i was like, what are you doing on the a train, bill . Does racism exist in the Animal Kingdom . Tribalism exists in the Animal Kingdom. This is what i think is at the base of this. Have we talked about ultraviolet light . Larry no. Youre going to jump on this. Everybody from east africa you migrate into mesopotamia, tigers in the euphrates, you have to to have the breaking down of your folic acid. Then migrate across asia raising wheat, eating stuff then the ice age, all the stuff is frozen in the mountains, you can walk to sarah palins future house, and then you come down the west coast larry i feel racism is about to start. I feel like its starting. Its started, because youve got these tribes and they have different skin color as a result of ultraviolet light. Now, you can run this test larry. Larry what is the test . If a guy from norway one of my people larry yeah. Has an interaction, can we say interaction on television . Larry were on basic cable. With a come from zimbabwe, all youre going to get is a human you wont get some other new thing. Larry youre going to get some good hair too. Thats a joke. Were all the same thing fromta scientific standpoint, so theres no such thing as racism but there is such a thing as tribalism. Larry you got that, when a guy from norway has sex with an african woman, racism is over. Thats what you said, right . You got it. laughter applause if i can split the meaning of race vs. Tribe and give you that then yeah. Larry heres what i want to do. Well ask bill nye the science guy anything you want. If you can ask bill nye the science guy anything you want. Mike . This has always baffled me from the time i was a child. How is it that you put a needle on a record and it plays music . What kind of witchcraft is that . Is this lost on many of the younger listeners . Larry they have no idea what a record is. My question is why are you still playing records . laughter the needle often made of gem stone diamond sapphire sort of thing, and then has a crystal which when you bend it makes an electrical current and some of you might have the motor computers that have a fan thats an electric thing converts the mechanical motion to have the needle into an electrical signal which we amplify larry come on, man, seriously. You act like you knew this. Then theres two coils of wire larry i think weve got it. Ask him anything. Why do men have nipples . laughter applause a great question. Is this a hernia . Larry why do men have nipples . Its left over. As we say in evolution, its not topdown design, its bottomup. So if you have nipples and youre still carrying on as boys and girls, theres no reason to get rid of them, there they are. Larry i love that. Its leftovers. Yours are connected. This is the thing about a evolution. Why do you wear out . Why does my eyesight go . Youre good enough. Larry explain the Science Behind why black doesnt crack . There is a lot of speculation. Larry its true blacks dont crack. Because youre more ultra resistant to ultraviolet light. Larry ultraviolet light is the answer to every problem we have well be back everything cheers and applause at dunkin breakfast just got zestier with guacamole made from real avocados, tomatoes, cilantro, and lime the new bacon guacamole flatbread. Ole, indeed america runs on dunkin. Pepsi and Dollar General are giving you a chance to win tickets to the cma Music Festival in nashville. Text cma to 876765 for your chance to win. You know blue moon didnt always come with an orange. Early on, i noticed people serving our beer with lemons kinda like a traditional belgian wit. But we brewed blue moon belgian white with valencia orange peel for a subtle sweetness. Thats when i got the idea for the orange garnish. So what i would do was bring bags of oranges to bars and show bartenders how to garnish our beer. People loved it. And when they realized it brought out the orange peel in the beer, they loved it even more. You could say the orange on top, brought it all together. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, i was eating a milky way. cheers and applause larry thats all the time we have for tonight. I want to thank our panelists ricky velez, mike yard, and bill nye the science guy. cheers and applause dont forget to follow us on twitter and like us on facebook to keep track of everything were doing online. Oh, and memo to Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather you guys each owe me 50 bucks not for the lackluster fight, but for making me suffer through jamie foxx singing the anthem. Goodnightly, everyone cheers and applause its its 11 59 and 59 seconds a long time on a an internet far, far away allstar wars out there may the forth be with you. Also with you. Today of course was may 4th the internet day to celebrate all things star wars. If you sensed the grease disturbance in the forth on twitter because ef rebrand was trying to