Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central applause cheers and applause larry yeah thank you very much. Yes welcome to the nightly show. Audience Larry Larry Larry larry thank you very much. Im larry wilmore, and, yes no, thats beautiful. I appreciate it, and, yes i am in a spandex tux. Its called class. Look it up. laughter in case some of you are wondering why im wearing all this manly spandex or mandex as i like to call it if you dont know i promised if dukakis won the n. C. A. A. Championship id host the show in spandex. And as someone pointed out earlier, why did i do that if i was the boss . laughter thank you very much for pointing that out. Now here we are im taiging my medicine. Im taking it, right . Im doing it inspect. Im doing it. This is what i had to do. applause its all right. Its elect oop i want to thank all the members of the audience who wore spandex out of solidarity. Lets turn on the spandexcam. Yeah. Thats what were talking about. Thats my fannedex people of thank you guys so much. I really appreciate all your support. Okay, now hey larry. We need to stop for a second. Larry oh, shoot, im sorry. Thats our director dre. What happened . What do we do . I hate to do this, larry, but were having trouble with your microphone. Theres another over at stage left. Could you go grab it for us please. laughter cheers lawyer. Larry . Larry i mean, i guess but it seems like an odd request. Yeah, i know. Im sorry. Larry okay. Ill go get it. I mean over here . cheers and applause dre i dont i dont see it where is it . Uh, there is no microphone, larry. Your mic is fine. We just wanted to make you stand up in that spandex. Larry oh very funny very funny. Thats all right. applause thats not right, dre. Its all right. Youre going to edit this out right . Oh, yeah, absolutely. laughter . Larry all right okay. The first thing i want to show you guys tonight is something very intense, okay. Im warning you viewer discretion advised. Larry thats right. That was two pandas doing it, okay. This is a real news story guys. Pandas at a chinese zoo set a new sex record by going at it for 18 minutes and three seconds. Wow. Right, right . No hey. 17 minutes longer than some late night hosts last. laughter applause just saying some just saying. Thanks for the support. Oh a lot of support. What most people might not be aware of is how rare panda sex actually is. The female is only fertile for like a 36hour window once a year. And males have such a low sex drive that they actually have to give them viagra and show them panda porn. laughter i mean your heart breaks for all those poor pandas who had dreams of being legitimate actors but were reduced to panda porn, right man, i saw you on cinemax the other night. Well, you know, once kung fu panda went animated, panda gotta pay the bills, fan. All right, all right lets get down to business. Its april and you know what that means. Well, one its time for my annual pilgrimage to coachella, but were not talking about that tonight. That was one of the dares by the way. The spring also means its College Acceptance letter season. Right now, all across the country, thousands of ambitious kids are waiting to hear whether theyve been accepted to schools like harvard and princeton and thousands of lesambitious kids are waiting to see if they got into brown. Calm down, brown. We sid that because one of our writers, jordan carlos, went there. We dont hate you. We hate him. laughter applause but this years College Acceptance process feels a little different because recently a few prominent people have called the value of the of a University Education into question. This is Michael Bloomberg were talking about. He is a billionaire, the former mayor of new york city. He said college might not be worth it for everyone. If hes not going to go to a great school and hes not super smart academically but it smart in dealing with people can that sort of thing being a plumber is a great job. Larry wait, is bloomberg saying plumbers are dumb . Thats how youre selling it . Hey, johnny, look, i know you want to go to harvard but youre an idiot. See that clogged toilet . Thats your future. laughter sorry, im the one that clogged it johnny. I apologize. Doesnt make sense. Bloomberg isnt the only one. Peter seal had this sosay. People are being conned into thinking this credential is the one thing you need to do better in life and theyre actually not any better off after having gone to college. They are typically worse off because theyve amassed all this debt. Larry okay, all right now im a little concerned. Two billionaires are Warning College costs too much. Thats not good. Its like when al qaeda was claiming isis goes too far. We should have listened to that, right . Well, how expensive could it be . And before we listen to the soundbites let me take a sip of this delicious water. Go ahead. Over the last 30 years, College Tuition has skyrocketed. Since 1978, tuition and fees increased 1120 . laughter applause larry i did not expect that information cheers and applause oh my gosh. Wait. How much was that again . Wait ill still thirsty. 1120 . laughter cheers larry oh my gosh. So the price went up1,120 . Now i know you were not turning out kids who are 1,120 smarter. We have College Interns upon. I know this. Lawyer. Audience boo larry okay im sorry. Now, you would think there would be a good reason for the continual increase of costs but according to stephen trachtenberg, the former president of the George Washington university there is no reason except for the fact people will pay it. In february the New York Times quoted him as saying college is like vodka people will spend 30 for a bottle of absolut because of the brand. Thats absolute blp. He compares your eddiegz price gouging on a supposed luxury item and hes not alone. There really is no good reason for these escalating costs for any institution. We thought wed talk to our College Expert late 90s frat boy and college enenthusiast, dtrain. Hey ddrain of train. I dont give a blooep. I want the moon roof. Hoss you doing, dtrain. I love the look. Im psyched to finally see your junk bro. Youve been out of school for 15 years. Dont tell the ladies glfs College Worth it for you . Hell, yeah, i landed a kush job at a kickass hedge fund making 200,000 a year. Larry your degree landed you a good job. Not as much as my degree as my urchg pel. He runs the place. Still, it wasnt a shooin, larry. We had a tough interview. One night during thanksgiving we had an interview, and i crushed. Thats how sig ep does it, boom college, man, i love it. Larry you got hooked up with a job. What about all the debt you accumulated . Debt. Heres how it went. My favorite grandma died. She hooked me up with a sweet trust you know. I turned 22 was like, what someones getting a third jetski. You know what i mean . laughter . Larry so college was all partying for you . Not all man, i had to cram for finals. Of course, one of my frat bros, called him horn dog, he was a t. A. Hooked me up with a copy of the exam. Horn dog youre the best. Larry all did you was learn to lie and cheat in college. Thats tall did for you . Thats not not all it did because without that skill i would not be crushing it on wall street right now. Okay. cheers and applause im telling you dude. Cannot and this is true, larry, its a fact you cannot turn worthless paper into heaps of untracked cash if you dont know how to bend the truth. Larry your message is if youre bosh into a rich family and have a connected uncle, you can achieve the American Dream . Thats why i dont understand why people are wining about this crap. Guto college and lift yourself up by your uncles bootstraps. Youre done. Larry dtrain, once again this was not remotely helpful. Any time baby. Happy to help. Larry dtrain, everyone. Well be right back. cheers and fruit with a cool finish. Fruit on one side, cool on the other. Ice breakers duo a fruity cool way to break the ice. The American Dream is terrifying. American history is the history of the scary thing being the exact thing we have to do. Cross that ocean. Walk on that moon. Sign a 30year mortgage on a home. Scary sure, but no match for our colossal self belief. Were supposed to do scary. Without scary, we dont get to be brave. Mmmm, they made french toast out of banana bread, then topped it with candied pecans and bananas . Its like a match made in heaven. Like bacon eggs. Oh look, bacon eggs. The new banana bread french toast slam. Dennys. Welcome to americas diner. Live a full life. The lexus ct hybrid with an epa estimated 42 mpg. The further you go the more interesting it gets. This is the pursuit of perfection. Larry welcome back. Were back talking about whether a College Education is worth the cost. Joining me on the panel tonight comedian, host of the race wars podcast and writer on inside amy schumer, kurt metzger. cheers and applause education blogger at npr and author of generation debt, anya kamenetz. cheers and applause and author of in defense of a liberal education and host of Fareed Zakaria gps on cnn, Fareed Zakaria. cheers and applause . Larry i think this is one of those issues i think everybody can relate on this thing. But i was shocked by the statistic since 19 1978 the cost of College Tuition has risen 1,120 . Thats staggering. If you want to send your kid to a Decent School its at least 30,000, probably 50,000. I think we all agree, we can all agree we dont need no thought control, right . Can we all degree we dont need no education . Is College Really Worth it, fareed . The simple answer, larry, is yes. The truth of the matter is, if you look at the data forget anec doats here and there it is absolutely clear that people who go to college, people who go to a Fouryear College make substantially more money over the course of their lifetime. The new york fed has done a big study. David leonard of the New York Times. If you look at the numbers its clear. Larry when do the people coming out of college get to look at those numbers like 30 years later 50 years later . Its the people who didnt go to college also have to look at those numbers 30 years later. The point is, look at those two guys who you had on. Mike bloomberg went to princeton and Harvard Business school. Peter teal went to stanford and stanford law school. This is a case dont do what i did, follow what im saying. Larry Mark Zuckerberg dropped out of college, billionaire. Steve jobs. Bill gates. There are a lot of examples of billionaires who dropped out of college. But the question is, is the cost too much for what youre getting for everybody. I know there are outliars. You can cite averages all you want. The number we should be paying attention to is 59 . Thats the number of people who start a fouryear degree who actually finish it. Larry 59 . Larry i think i hung out with the other 41. The way this thing works is there are awe lot of people for whom its absolutely a ripoff and thats who we should be paying attention to. Larry is ripoff the right term, curt . Yeah, ripoff is the right term. Education is worth it but not 250,000. I could be o. T. 3 on the bridge to freedom for that. Larry thats kind of the issue, not that education is not worth it and you should have an education and it can definitely help but is it worth it at that cost for most people . Were in a knowledge economy where the people who make money tend to have college degrees. Now, the good news to your question suare seeing a revolution that is it going to affect college costs. This whole Online Education university of phoenix. All of them. All of them. Not so much. Basically, as long as you can gr wait fareed, would you have gone to an Online College . Be honest. I got a full scholarship. I was very lucky. But the truth of the matter is laughter my point is i wouldnt have been able to go. Youre exactly right. But i got lucky. Imagine somebody hosays, i cant afford to go to college but im going to take 25 courses online on one of these online for free, or for a couple of hundred dollars. And then you go to an employer and you say, look, ive taken all these courses. Ive done well. Will you give me the job . If the employer says yes boom there goes the colleges pricing power. Larry get in early because we start the big macs at 7 00. So hurry up laughter applause . No, no, no is there okay let me ask you this. Whats wrong with telling kids not to go . Whats wrong with vocational jobs . Bloomberg brought up the whole plumber thing. Were talking about back there, thats an important job. Its not like youre a loser because you have a trade and they make it out like that. America in general they do that where they tell you hard work the dig tee of work and were like could you pay me enough to live . Well, thats a childs job. You have a losary job. Larry im not trying to be down on college but im saying not Everybody Needs to go. At high schools maybe they should have College Counselors and keep it real counselors. Im here to see the college counselor. No, youre going over there. The guy who says to the kid,youre dumb. Larry not youre dumb. Now of no, not youre dumb. College may not be the right route. The truth is there are a lot of technical degrees that do pay more than a bachelors degree but what were wary of in america is saying to anyone were going to decide their future for them and thats not right. Larry im not suggesting that. In america the tradition has been you get a broad general education partly because the economy changes so much you dont be a College President said our job is to prepare you not just for your first job but your sixth job. Youring probably going to have a bunch of different jobs. Larry are we comparing them for college to compete. Thats why the property wants to do Free Community college. A High School Diploma larry Community Colleges are direct funnels to harvard and yale right . The point is you need some education beyond high school. Thats obvious. But the question is if you want to compete at a certain level. Forget competing. If you want to pay the bills, make above minimum wage you need something beyond high school. Larry sometimes what youre paying for, harvard and yale, sometimes what youre paying for is access to a Certain Community access to youre not paying fizziction is the same no matter where you are right . applause i mean, at the university of minnesota, water freezes at 32 degrees just like it does at harvard, right . At harvard youre talking to the guy who came up with that bleep . His granddaughter. Thats the difference. The top colleges are basically charging for admission to a private club. Larry im very concerned about kids, though, that come out and theyre this debt for years and years, and they have a good education ask theres not much of a job in their future. You think thats why they make more money because they have an ominous debt hanging over their head. Larry places like stanford, theyre offering Free Education for people under i think 100,000. I think schools with this kind of money should just make it free for everybody. Well be right back, and well talk about it. cheers and applause when teds battery light lit up his morning went from bad to worse. But after a pit stop at autozone where they check that for free ted was back to peak performance. Its called the zone and well help get you there. Get in the zone. Autozone. Every cookie here at left twix® is extra crisp so it stays crunchy when we apply caramel and chocolate. Right twix has the same thing. They have packing tape like that over at right twix . Try both. Pick a side. Twix when sweet and tart meet the possibilities are delicious. Get ready for sweetarts soft and chewy ropes. With no artificial flavors or colors. Theyre new from sweetarts. Verybody. Okay, were going to play a game called b. A. Or b. S. Its a speed round. Im going to name a subject you can major in at college. These are real majors we found at colleges. If you tell you can tell me whether its whorgt wiel, a b. A. , or if its worthless b. S. No qualifications. This is a keep it 100 scenario. If you think its b. S. You have to say why. These are actual ones. Canibus cultivation. B. A. Or b. S. . Total b. A. Growth industry. Yeah, b. A. Absolutely. Larry that is a growth industry. Very well put. Slavic and east European Studies . B. A. But you have to try to figure out what to do with russia . You want to do business there . Thats a legit job. Ukraine say growth market. I have to say b. A. Because i look like a a combination of i have to go with b. A. Larry thats why its b. A. . B. S. Larry b. S. , right . No. Larry okay, art semiotics. Exactly, b. S. Exactly. laughter fermentation sciences. B. A. B. A. Larry that sounds like it could be relit. B. S. In the sense of bachelor of science, maybe. Larry what are you making hooch . Flower management. You bowling management. No no no. B. S. Larry you can learn that in a bowling alley. At uconn puppetry is a major. I say b. A. Because people do that. The muppets are a real thing. applause . Larry they make me feel happy. Canadian studies. laughter upon. I say b. A. Very boring. Larry all right, everybody gets a degree here. Theres your degree. From the wilmore online university. Wilmore online. Well be right back. Congratulatio im sorry for your loss. It still doesnt feel real. Our time together was. So short. Well, since you had progressives total loss coverage, we were able to replace your totaled bike with a brandnew one. The tank. The exhaust. Well, she looks just like roxie you know, ill bet shes in a better place now. Flo i know she is. I feel it in my heart. [ heavenly choir sings ] actually, the old roxies over at the junkyard. Flo kkhkkh getting you back on a brandnew bike. Now, thats progressive. Discover brookside and discover an exciting combination of tastes. Rich, dark chocolate covering soft centers. Flavored with exotic fruit juices. Its chocolate and fruit flavors like youve never experienced before. Discover brookside. What do you think . When i first sit in the seat it makes me think of a bmw. I feel like im in a lexus. You would think that this was a brand new audi. Its like a luxury car. Feels kind of like an infinity. Very similar to a range rover. This is pretty high tech. Yeah it is. It reminds me of a mercedes. This is chevy . Laughing i have a new appreciation for chevy. They thought about me. I could totally rock this. This thing feels pretty boss. It looks kind of dope. Thats pretty cool. This is the jam. Pretty bomb dude. Maybe i will go chevy. Im definitely in. cheers and applause larry thats all the time we have for tonight. I want to thank our panel kurt metzger, anya kamenetz, and Fareed Zakaria. Give them a nice round of applause. Take a look at all of this spandex solidarity. Give yourselfaise round of applause. Thanks all of you here tonight and for everyone at home for all the spandex solidarity on twitter. You all look fantastic. The nightly show is all new next week. Until then, good night, faces ooh la la playing i wish that i knew