Ethnic holidays the way we observed today columbus today would be about make a nice sunday song. Wed celebrate kwanzaa late. laughter thats right. Italians make sauce plaque people show up late. Its just science, people. But think about it, all day today we drink, we fight in the streets. We drink. We pee in the streets. We drink. We puke in the streets. And then when were done, we do a little bit of this. Oh larry oh, my god. So thats why you wear green so your barf matched your shirt. Its all about coordinating. There is so much drunk d. N. A. On the sidewalk after st. Patricks day scientists could combine it to make a frat bro super villain. They could use the times square ball to play beer pong. Turn glaciers into ice luges. It would be a disaster. But now, is drunk and towardly the way we celebrate every holiday . We drink on st. Patricks day. We drink on cinco de mayo. Personally, drink on arbor day. I just get a keg and sit in the forest. laughter applause true. I dont know. The trees just get me, man. I dont know what it is. Personally, you know, im not that crazy about praedz. Look my people love to march. Dont get me wrong. laughter we do, i know. But so much of our bleep is so serious. Nobody wants to ride on the hands up dont shoot flot. Seriously. laughter its just not that fun is all im saying. You know, ill be honest with you, ill be honest with you, that selma 50th march could have used some 40s. Thats all im taig. Spice it up a little bit. So praedz report for everybody, but why are there so many of them in new york city . I tonight get that. If somebody from you have the st. Patricks day parade. The macys day parade. Gay pride parade, do dominican day parade. Hold on a second. Heres my problems with those three praedz puerto rico and the Dominican Republic are both in the caribbean. Thats a parade double dip, people. laughter it is. Its like having a macys parade and a macys Husky Boys Department parade right . laughter ill let you decide who is the husky boy in that scenario. laughter but as parades go, new yorks st. Paddys days celebration is the irish mother of them all. Its a fivehour extravaganza down 5 health avenue. Its fup for everyone, not everyone. Organizers for the annual st. Patricks day parade have banned l. G. B. T. Groups from marching. Larry are you serious . Is this is this still a thing . I mean, people, this is a parade whose mascot is an effete little man in a green velvet suit and sparkly shoes who flies down rainbows while playing a harp. laughter i mean, if youre trying stro your parade look butch that gay cruise has sailed, all right. Why would they not want to have them . Parade organizers have long refused entry to gay groups based on religion. Oh i thought it was based on homophobia. laughter didnt know. Took a while to get. I dont understand. I thought gays were allowed to march in the st. Patricks day parade back in the early 90s. Didnt that go well . Were year get used to it cheers and applause larry oh, my god. Boo aids . Well who would not want to boo aids, i guess. laughter even aids would boo aids. Lets be honest. I technically agree with your words lady. Not sure i agree with your spirit. But some 24 years later, and likely after that ladys death, progress. For the first time ever, two gay and lesbian groups marched in southies st. Patricks day parade. Larry wow, south boston. Man, they used to be wicked prng. I mean thats a place where if you dont greet your ma with a head butt, youre suspected of being a queer. New york finally feeling shame for being behind boston has decided to let one kind of gay group in. Out at Nbc Universal will be the first and only gay group to march under its own banner in the parade. Larry out at Nbc Universal. That sounds like an attraction at their theme park, right . What does it do, simulate all the thrills and chills of coming out to your parents . Aaah that was scary. That was so real. So why is this nbc gay group the only one allowed in the parade . Nbc universal is the Parent Company of nbc new york which airs the parade. L. G. B. T. Groups call the inclusion of one group a ploy by parade organizers to hold on to sponsors. Larry so nbc is the one airing the parade and the only gay group allowed on the parade works at nbc . This seems like a scratch my back ill give you a reacharound kind of deal. But Irish Catholics of new york are dug in on this issue. Honestly, gays, no offense, but do you really want to be in this thing . I mean people are drinking too much to even notice you marching, and the music sounds like two goats doing the devils business. laughter on the other hand, the gay pride parade is a glitter bomb of inclusion. laughter joining me to talk more about this is our new contributor to the nightly show, david smithyman. Welcome, david. cheers and applause thank you. Okay now. Now, david youre gay. I am. Larry oh, and it also sounds like youre australian. Youre a keen observer larry. Larry okay. So you went out to the st. Patricks days parade. Di, and a also sat down with andy hum, Irish American gay activist. Lets take a look. It does seem like a bunch of angry walking im australian. Im not even irish. This this is an outside perspective. It looks like everyones angry dad is dressed up in the suit they got married in and grumpily walk along. Why do you want to be in it . To make it a more fun parade. Lets pretend i organized the parade, im the boss of parade, so i cant do an irish accept so im going to do a german accent instead. Well just go with that. Why do you want to join the parade . You sound like june bereaut or something. I was in character. I cant break it, sir. Well do do why do you want to join the parade . We would be magnanimous and we will not make fun of irish people because we are irish. How much money would it take for you guys to go away. We cant be bought. laughter . But i have a lot of money. Unlike you, we stand on principle. I stand on gold shoes. laughter what would you do if you were allowed in the parade . It would be it might be almost as pouring as it is now but we would just march with our banner. Thank you, your majesty. Youre welcome. Reich every other year, these guys would only be able to protest the parade, and everyone knows that the key to a good protest is a good sign. So gaelic is pronounced gaylick for a reason. No upon. Were here. Were queer, green beer. Pretty good, right . Ic like that, i like it. I had to see what this parade was really about for myself. For i celebrating irish heritage. Madam please. I tried really hard to get into the spirit of things. Lovely sweaters. But maybe it was simpler than i thought. I like beer. Thats the spirit. 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Patricks day parade. Joining me on the panel tonight comedian and cohost of the race wars podcast, sherrod small. cheers and applause thank you, larry founder of the irish l. G. B. T. Group lavender and green alliance, brendan fay. cheers and applause very, very funny comedian, shes been with us a few times. Kathleen madigan. One of our favorites. And comedian and star of the new web series cop show on lstudio. Com, colin quinn. cheers and applause so much fun. Brendan, i want to start with you because i know youve been protesting this issue a lot, and, you know, just try to relate to us as i said my people tend to protest a lot. Weve been protesting just trying to not get shot, youre protesting praedz. Thats right. Larry im not making a moral equivalence here. Just help me to understand why this issue is so important. Absolutely. Well, im irish, and im gay, and part of our irish tradition is to speak up and stand up against discrimination prejudice, and injustice anywhere. And then. cheers and applause larry good. Actually, the one more thing, more and more praedz all around ireland belfast, galway there were rainbow flags all around the country in the u. S. With leprechauns on it. Its already in the the parade. But our parades, we made it up. Yes, its a big thing in new york. It sound like youre throwing shade on the Irish Americans. Are they irishish. They call it plastic paddies. Larry really . I love white on white stuff. Larry exactly. Irish hate on irish in america . Of course, they do. Larry i dont understand the parade obsession here kind of thing. But to praedz parades is there an obligation to include everybody. Theres supposed to be a Prolife Group i would hate to see that float. Does the parade have to have everybody in it . Me . Yeah, im torn because on the one hand, it does exclude gays. On the other hand, irish people are not sexual people. This is laughter applause were just getting use were just adapting to heterosexuality. Larry just adapting to heterosexuality. Its not like gyrating, skin showing. This is sweaters. Old ladies. Red faces. Log above the legal limit into bag pipes. The organizing people their reasoning keeps getting more absurd. Anything that starts with ancient order you know theyre not going to be flexible. Its like wow what are we going up against. Larry thats keeping it really old school. Thats like prerappers delight old school. They use the example, well, if we include the irish gays, were opening it up. What about Puerto Ricans. Well, no, theyre puerto rican gays. They have their own parade. You cant just keep take in 1998, you know the breakan parade opened up to l. G. B. T. Groups. And by the way, we have a nice puerto rican irish connection. Who actually supported the Irish Movement for independence. Look youre the only one who knows that brendan. Larry youre opening up a whole can of worms. If youre going to have a puerto rican irish day parade, thats a whole new can of worms. The puerto rican day parade there is so much spanneddix, you have to have the gays. If youre going to open it up st. Patrick they claim his father is italian and born in london so i say you have to let the italians and english in. Im with the Public School here in new york city in brooklyn. I was in a marching band, ps437. We maeched in every parade. We were all black, rifle squad were you gay . For that parade, yes miss school for a day, ill be anything. Larry most holidays after a while you forget what it is. President s day you buy mattresses. Should we just drop the whole irish thing and just focus on beer and green . No its got to be the irish thing. Why would you say such a terrible thing, larry . Larry thats all you got . Were like interspersed into the cult glur yes, youre officially white. I agree with colin. Just the suggestion of it. If we were drinking, we would probably be beating you up now just for saying it. You cant say no more irish. Larry no, not more irish people. You said no more irish people. I cant believe it. Larry i did not say that. Okay youre saying kill irish babies. Larry i never said that guys i heard that larry well be right back and well see what happens during the break. cheers and applause i bring the gift of the name your price tool to help you find a price that fits your budget. Uhoh. The name your price tool. Shes not to be trusted. Kill her. Flo it will save you money the name your price tool isnt witchcraft and i didnt turn your daughter into a rooster. She just looks like that. Burn the witch the name your price tool a dangerously progressive idea. And do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband . To have and to hold. For better or worse, in sickness and in health. I cant what . Lisa wait ahh god taxes are your year, only much simpler. You can handle simpler. Intuit turbotax. Its amazing what youre capable of. mom when our little girl was born we got a subaru. Its where she said her first word. little girl no saw her first day of school. little girl bye bye made a best friend forever. The back seat of my subaru is where she grew up. What . announcer the 2015 Subaru Forester girl what . announcer built to be there for your family. Love. Its what makes a subaru a subaru. Ladies and gentleman today we will be offering. Theyre gone. What do you mean theyre gone . The snacks. Theyre gone. Theyre missing. Well they have to be here somewhere. Theyre not here. They cant just get up and walk away alright, only 13 more hours to go. Youre gonna have to hold it cheers and applause larry okay. Welcome back. Its time for a special st. Patricks day edition of what we like to call keep it 100. For all you people who dont know what that is it means keep it 100 real. Now tonight were going to have a special question about parades. Heres the deal. These are some of the parades here in new york city. You have to get rid of one of them. Okay . All right . So weve got the Philippine Independence Day parade. The st. Patricks day parade. Korean harvest day parade. Nigerian day parade. Muslim day parade. And indian Independence Day parade. Greek Independence Day parade. Prakan day parade mexican day, and hispanic day parade. So kathleen, keep it 100. You gotta get rid of one of them. No, im going to offend somebody. Larry thats why its called keep it 100. Who are the furthest away . The turkish. Larry theyre the furthest away . They probably cant get here quickly to harm me as other people. Larry i feel like youre being a little disingenuous there. I dont know. Is boo for the tea or boo for keeping it 100. What do you think . She should get 100 . Tea larry tea . All right, well give both. Well give you a little shamrock, keep it 100. Okay. All right. All right. Sherrod. Which one . Ill give you a tea bag. Larry you cant pick turkish. Im ready to pick. Nigerian. Out. Out. Larry and why . Why is nigerian out . They never rescued African Americans after slavery. What happened to that . Larry there you go. Keep it 100. Shamrock. Show the shamrock. Thats why you got the tea. And for two, boko haram. You cant have parades larry youre not getting another one. Ill keep it 200. Larry brendan you have to keep one. What is the hispanic day parade . Larry thats what youre picking, great. Why are you picking hispanic day parade. Because the hispanics have the mexicans, do min cans, Puerto Ricans oh my god. Youre so racist. Here, take that. We have one day where okay colin. We have a tea left. And we all know the one go for it col larry youre starting to get some tea here. Muslim day parade. Larry he said muslim day parade is what he said. Why the muslim day parade . Well, its the only one left on the chopping block and they got hit. Thats the way it is. Larry are you keeping it 100 . Yes. I was going to saw the hispanic day parade audience . Sorry man, you get the tea. Tea were irish larry well be right back. Were going to fight during this commercial right now. Come on. [ male announcer ] digiorno . Or delivery . Digiorno . Or delivery . Taste for yourself why the shortest distance between you and a delicious, freshbaked pizza, is your oven. Thankfully, its not delivery. Its digiorno. Thats a goodlooking pile of dirt. Yeah. Its natures care. Whats in it . Lots of rich, moist organic things. Can i touch it . Yeah, get in there. It feels really good. Natures care organic garden soil. Thats some good dirt. I thought the vows were over the top. Let it go, you broke up with him remember . No no no no no heather. You look great not as great as her. Can we talk about this somewhere else . No. Where did you get it . Get what . Her gorgeous dress, you clearly have spent a fortune on her. Actually i bought the dress. With what your allowance . No its from old navy. All dresses and skirts are on sale starting at 15. And the brides wearing white because shes a lady. Its true and girls dresses start at just 10. Did you just say 10 . Yes but you have to hurry i like her, she makes you look fat im going to old navy great rates for great rides. Geico motorcycle see how much you could save. Toothbrush. Sweater. Extra sweater. Headphones, sleeping mask. Oh, and this is the xfinity tv app. He can watch his dvrd shows from where ever he wants. Hey. Have fun, make some friends. Alright. Did i mention his neck pillow . sniffs pillow watch your personal dvr library where ever you go. With the x1 entertainment operating system. cheers and applause . Larry okay, thats all the time we have for tonight. I want to thank our panelists sherrod small, brendan fay kathleen madigan, and colin quinn. Finally tonight, thanks for all the great dares youve tweeted to help us complete our bracket for darey wilmores march badness bracketsball dareomania its boner time tournament. iangecko wants to see me go to a Furry Convention in costume. If number two seed arizona wins it all, i promise i will be there. I have to, right . futurefreeze1 dares me to poop on a mountain if number one seed villanova wins actually, i dont mind that, but i get to pick the mountain. Butler is a six seed, so cheer for the bulldogs if you want me to welcome four mimes to the panel. Thanks cjbarresi75. Ill do it ill do it and finally, lotnorm dares me to do an entire episode as popeye, complete with costume. Thats a solid sevenseed dare. Check out the latest bracket online and keep those dares coming with darelarry. Goodnightly everyone cheers and applause im going down to south park gonna have myself a time both Friendly Faces everywhere humble folks without temptation im going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind ample parking day or night people spouting howdy neighbor headin on up to south park gonna see if i cant unwind [m