Will be joining us later theyre going to discuss the Iran Nuclear Deal instead of playing music as a rebuttal to last nights guests. Instead of me telling you whats going to be on the show like a comedy dictator no. In the spirit of the mold, choose your adventure. I leave it up to you the viewer, choose your own the daily show. Do you want our first headline to be about the corrosive effect of Campaign Finance deregulation, hit a on your Remote Control if youd like to hear head writer Elliott Kalan on the new avengers film, thats me cheers and applause wow mon canny and politics. Elliott, im sorry. I have so much to say about the implications of scarlet witches new mutant jon sorry. Rapsraspberries. Jon indeed. Well, well do what the audience wants. Hillary clinton recently came under fire for doing favors as secretary of state in exchange for donations to her familys foundation. No quidproquo was found. This sent the experts into a tizzzzy can you prove these people were trying to buy influence . Of course. The consequences should be apparent from the start. Influences policy the question remains to whom does she owe favors because to have the Clinton Foundation . Jon yes whom indeed theres nothing that looks worse than this. It looks bad, like an ugly mole. Even though its not cancer it is still insightly. Which reminds me i need to make an appointment with the doctor. I have a mole. Let me talk about this later. Heres the thing, while we are rightly suspicious about foreign donations, for some reason were barely paying attention to whats happening here at home. Clinton supporters and super pacs will be trying to raise some 2. 5 billion. Jon 2. 5 billion. Thats a giant bleep mole laughter and thats just the tip of the moleburg. Were in the era of billionaires who can prop up campaigns singlehandedly. Koch brothers spending a billion dollars. Sheldon adelson spending upwards of 1 billion. Sheldon can keep a candidate alive or take them out. Jon im Sheldon Adelson i decide if a candidate lives or dies what is this guy khaleesi . Come on cheers and applause all right, so this brings us to our Second Chance to choose your own the daily show. If you would like to see me eat a complete value meal from arbys press a cheers and applause arbys, the meal thats a dare for your colon. laughter im going to miss them. Or if you like a montage showing hypocritical acceptance of Domestic Campaign money, choose me cheers and applause thank god, i dont know even know why i offered the option in the first place. Montage. Money is speech. Theyre putting issues on the table and the American Voters decide. Theyre concerned about the core political speech the First Amendment was intended to protect. Democrats are pushing to amend the u. S. Constitution to make it tougher to spend on political campaigns, basically an attempt to limit the first easement. They think money corrupts in politics and theyre looking to stop it. Jon i think theyre actually looking to stop the corruption, not corruption. The question remains to whom does she owe favors because to have the Clinton Foundation. Jon and american money. They think money corrupts in politics and theyre looking to stop the corruption. Jon money is free speech unless that money speaks with a funny accent laughter you might argue the billionaires are giving money to candidates not because they want favors but because their interests align. If you want a clear example of why thats not true press a. Or if you want a see a clip from a 1960 voyage 1960 voyage to the planet of prehistoric women, press b. laughter jon that should have been the whole show. laughter rest in peace. Just for the sake of wrapping up our argument, ill throw in option a as well. This is about how domestic money we can almost guarantee there is corruption. Remember how odd it was last year when Chris Christie vetoed a measure that would have been banned the use of hog gestation crates even though it had overwhelming support of the senate, assembly and state of new jersey. Why would Chris Christie care . Unless he felt he had a free ride for too long and hogs should live in gestation crates where they couldnt turn around or he was doing the bidding of Bruce Ratstetter who happened to be one of the americans top hog producers whose brother is c. E. O. Of the company that builds the crates and was auditioning to raise money. Can we prove it . No. The question remains to whom does christie owe favors because toto have the hog money. laughter applause jon its at times like this as we begin what is expected to be a 10 billion president ial election season im thankful for the federal Election Commission or fec. laughter what the fec, is not a great acronym. A bipartisan Government Agency formed after water gate specifically tasked to enforce Campaign Spending regulations. Go get em faq. The federal Election Commission chair says hes done trying to take action against major violations. Ann ravel says shes giving up hope on regulating money abuse during this president ial election. Jon what the fec . Response to that article the Billionaires Association of america released a statement. It reads expensive applause well be right back. What made you switch to taco bell breakfast . I, for me, i personally think that all the breakfast sandwiches are the same. But this is an a. M. Crunchwrap. What really sets it off is i have a hashbrown in here. Im c. J. And im a breakfast defector [bong ] get ahead of the curve with tmobile. And get your hands on the new Samsung Galaxy s6 edge all for just zero down, now nothing is holding you back. Get it today. At tmobile. 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Only at pizza hut. [car alarms blare] why is there a merman in the pool . Why is there a Kevin FederlineIce Sculpture . Why is there a Grilled Cheese riding piggyback on a cheeseburger . Why . Cuz, things get weird late at night. Thats why i make the munchie meal. Its a box fulla crazy craveables like the stacked Grilled Cheeseburgr or chickntater melt, plus halfsie fries, two tacos and a drink all for just six bucks. So get one tonight, and get weird. cheers and applause jon you know, after 16 i have been here 16 years, 17 years 16 and a half years. Ive seen it all. Financial crisis. The war. Another war. Five wars. Theres not much that can get to me. So i thought. laughter he bleep knew he knew that the balls were being deflated brady knew by the way this isnt just a tabloid saying that. The wall street journal also laughter thats not real actually. The New York Times covered it an oblong Sports Equipment deflation problem. They really take the fun out of everything, dont they . How did deflated balls quarterly cover the story . Oh, thats odd. I would have thought this was in the real house. So tom brady in all of deflategate, looks like he knew they were deflating the balls. What did tom actually know about this thing that is another word for testicles. The independent report concludes it was more probable than not that brady was at least aware Team Employees were probably deflating balls before the game. Jon what about this . The wells report singles out two long time members of the patriots locker room staff and some of the most telling evidence is a trail of Text Messages between those two locker room attendants, one of them calling himself the deflairtdeflater. Jon he calls himself the deflater one of the giles in the locker room calls himself the deflater whats the other guys name . Will none of tom bradys teammates rise to defend the champion . What about all the fundraising for the kids . No one ever wants to expand on that, for the kids, the charity events. No, theyre worried about the story for the deflategate. laughter jon thank you. Gronk. For reminding us that these athletes lives are complex and that much of the good work these athletes do in their communities goes unsung and that our focus on their foibles can reduce these athletes to twodimensional thickscoldscold caricatures. You were saying . You know these sure arent deflating. These are only inflating. So get ready because im going to be ready. There is only one thing you can deflate these nuts cheers and applause laughter jon yes, these nuts, indeed. laughter i gotta say, i love this guy. But brady . No. Meet me at camera three. Tommy. You cheating bleep . Why you got four super bowl rings. Youre married to the biggest supermodel in the world your face your beautiful face is a wonder of symmetry a platonic ideal of beauty that can survive even the stupidest of haircuts laughter how you doing today, pal . Yet even with these dopey bleep haircuts youre still so hand system i would bleep the hole in your chin. applause sorry. I would but you, my friend stood up there in one of americas most sacred places, the podium room before super bowl week and you lied to us are you comfortable within yourself that nobody sunday on the patriots side did anything wrong . I have no knowledge of anything. I have no knowledge of any are you comfortable nobody did anything wrong. Yeah im very comfortable saying that. Jon first of all, looks to me like youre hiding someone elses head underneath your hat laughter but im glad youre so at ease with your own devious mock inations. I cant believe you had as gronk said the nuts to say that. Why dont you just start q. B. Ing on stilts . How much is enough . You have it all if you look up talent in the dictionary, guess whose picture comes up fred astaire the man moves like an angel. laughter but you know what brady . Youre good, too. Grade ones dont need to cheat. Did Michael Jordan cheat to get his six championships . No. Michael jordan decided to play a sport he sucked at just to give other people a chance to win. Hand me that bat, jordan said im sure i can figure out how it works, as he got on the bus to birmingham. Tom, if you couldnt show integrity for yourself and the children who worship you, at least show pride in your team. Youre a patriot, tom brady, a team named after this countrys most cherished post9 11 surveillance act. laughter cheers and applause let me just say this from now on, we as a country are going to be watching your balls like a hawk. And not just those balls those nuts as well. cheers and applause and by the way. If you think i wouldnt chastise you if you had committed these acts while in my team in a new york giants uniform if you think i wouldnt chastise you for that that would be correct. laughter back. What do you think . When i first sit in the seat it makes me think of a bmw. I feel like im in a lexus. You would think that this was a brand new audi. Its like a luxury car. Feels kind of like an infinity. Very similar to a range rover. This is pretty high tech. Yeah it is. It reminds me of a mercedes. This is chevy . Laughing i have a new appreciation for chevy. They thought about me. I could totally rock this. This thing feels pretty boss. It looks kind of dope. Thats pretty cool. This is the jam. Pretty bomb dude. Maybe i will go chevy. Im definitely in. Now you can take bold, smooth cocktail taste. Wherever the night takes you. everywhere i go by new politics plays throughout introducing new bud light mixxtail. Now available in three flavors Long Island Iced Tea hurricane and firewalker. Bring the bar with bud light mixxtail. Go get help, boy. Go get help. Go get help right now if youre a cat, you ignore people. Its what you do. If you want to save fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance you switch to geico. Its what you do. Go on kitty, kitty. 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Yeah toyota. Lets go places. cheers and applause jon thank you once again tonight we were scheduled to have mumford sons but once again well talk with the secretary of energy laughter tonight the new album called wilder mind. Please welcome mumford. Its empty in the valley of your heart the sun, it rises slowly as you walk away from all the fears and all the faults youve left behind the harvest left no food for you to eat you cannibal, you meateater you see but i have seen the same i know the shame in your defeat but i will hold on hope and i wont let you choke on the noose around your neck and ill find strength in pain and i will change my ways because youre all i ever longed they tell you its out there. Somewhere. Upon a star, over a rainbow. Where the grass is greener and everyones happily ever after. But its not on a map. Or some app. Its not someday or somehow. Its where ever you are, here and now. When you are you. [ rock music playing ] its summertime. When you say its summertime, with the new mango Passion Fruit coolatta from dunkin. Grab any small coolatta for 1. 99. America runs on dunkin. Jon hey, welcome back were talking to Marcus Mumford and winston marshall. Thank you guys for being with us. You guys have this local festival thing youre doing. I want to hear about this. We do. We go to little towns that are a bit out of the way and we go and take over the town and bring a bunch of bands we like. Jon you choose the bands. We do. Mostly it involves three hour conversations on the phone where ben and ted get the bands they like and i sit in the bathroom and put it on mute and every now and then ill say i like that one. Jon how uncomfortable is it at all the meetings with marcus in the bathroom . I get quite excited. Hes on the toil sheet now that hes in thetoilet. Jon thats a band that will stay together. Their album wilder mind is out now. Theyre going to play us a song named the cave from the first album