Well be excited to talk to mick again. But first ahhh for the past 48 hours, america has been forced to ask itself some very difficult questions about the way we force other people to answer some difficult questions. laughter jon for a country that prized itself on its moral identity, it has been a time of great introspection, one that i am happy to announce ends now, mother bleep laughter because you know why . The royal family was in town, and i finally understand why england clings to the antiquated, irrelevant and more primitive time. Because they are pretty, they are shiny, and they are more fun to look at than the shame that lives inside of us all laughter join he, wont you . As we embark on a wonderous journey we call. Will and cates fourth rectalfree feeding american adventure laughter just look at the excitement they over brought to our city. The Empire State Building aglow in union jack colors. The Empire State Building changed their colors for them. What is it about these two . Jon they lit up the Empire State Building for the royal couple they only do that for the specialest of occasions like alicia keys release as record day and the opening of the grill inside of the building. What is it about those two . So i assume the royal couple spent their time in new york like any other tourists. You hit up the m m store, then spend the rest of the trip watching reruns of friends in your hotel room because one homeless guy called you white devils. laughter or did they kick things off some other way . Prince william meeting with president obama in the oval office. Kate stayed in new york where she visited with a Childhood Development center in harlem. Did some arts and crafts, apparently wrapped some christmas presents. Jon yes because what trip to america is complete without a. Reinforcement of traditional gender roles. When youre already presiding over an institution that seems several centuries out of touch, maybe let the women talk politics and the guys can do arts and crafts with the children. Still, seeing a real live princess must have been thrilling for those lucky kids. 1they saw her and they shouted princess and then one of the administrators said they actually think youre the princess from frozen. laughter jon thats adorable and ridiculous. laughter if she were elsa, shed be followed around by some pale, hairless living snow applause let it go. Now, i know what youre thinking. Are we going to get to see the duchess wrap some presents . Well, im afraid ive got some bad news of course, well see her wrapping presents reluctantly. State showed off her gift wrapping kills while getting a taste of the charm. Keep wrapping jon what that is the duchess of cambridge throwing shade at her supervisor thats one of these sure, ill keep bleep we have to gift that or gif that or whatever you guys call on there. Lets meme it there you go when another girl texts my babe on date night whatever whatever that expression is shes making in the picture. Even with the hard work, the royals made time for one and games. The nba and the Brooklyn Nets would like to welcome their royal highnesses the duke and duchess of cambridge the Barclays Center for their first nba game. Lets please give them a warm brooklyn welcome jon sit down you bigheaded bleep laughter yeah. That is our traditional greeting. Now, kate and william may not know much about basketball but they know royalty king james scoring big for the cavaliers. Lebron putting his arm around kate for photos. And, yes, the muchanticipated meeting between british and brooklyn royalty took place beyonce and jayz greeting will and kate, court side. Omigod omigod omigod theyre going to touch contact is imminent oh, my god, i cant believe it laughter that thats it . Anybody else expect a beam of light brighter than a thousand suns . Or a genie riding a rainbow into a sea diamonds . Or when they ride together they form some sexy boltron. Dont roll your eyes at me but perhaps the most genuinely touching moment of the royals visit came when they met some real new yorkers. They were treated to live musical, dance, and storytelling performances. So i told my father what happened. The couple, so moved by 22yearold steven prescots story, that Prince William gave him his personal phone number. Jon please, just call. All youve got to do is call. Its just its zero, and then the country code, and then just press the number 3. For more on will and kates east coast visit, we go to our senior royal watcher Jessica Williams. Jessica thanks for joining us what an exciting time. Very exciting. Jon whats the take way from the royal couples time here. Seriously, jon . Like you dont know . Jon no, i dont. Jessica, why do you have your arms folded, is everything okay . Because, look alt the itinerary. N. B. A. Game, the president. The royals came here looking for a black friend. Thats ridiculous. Jon, its the ultimate get when youre in the upper class. The rat pack had sammy davis jr. The love boat had isaac. Seriously, you think kim jung un likes Dennis Rodman for his personality . laughter also, john, whats an or owe without the Chocolate Cookie . Just a gross white giz quarter. Jon not eating those anymore. Hmm mmm jon thats ridiculous. They have black people in the united kingdom. Yeah, they have food there, too, but no ones exactly raving about it. Jon, they went to a oneman show. Even Martin Luther king wouldnt sit through some dudes oneman show. They were in town for three days, they saw more black people than i do, and i live in the Apollo Theater. laughter jon you live in the Apollo Theater . Yeah, john, its rentcontrolled. Jon i didnt know that. But, look, the timing of the trip is perfect. They saw just how mad black people have been the last few weeks and knew it was time to pounce. I mean, look at the shirt william wore in brooklyn. laughter jon i dont understand why you seem bothered by all this. Did you want them to pick you . No, i just wanted them to watch my onewoman show Jessica Williams and will and kate plus mate. Jon im sorry that didnt pan out. Me, too. Jon ill hang out with you. What . No, youre, like, 60 and live in new jersey. Jon what . Sorry mr. Drummond, keep fishin. Take a closer look at your fidelity green line and youll see just how much it has to offer, especially if youre thinking of moving an old 401 k to a fidelity ira. It gives you a wide range of investment options. And the free help you need to make sure your investments fit your goals and what youre really investing for. Tap into the full power of your fidelity green line. Call today and well make it easy to move that old 401 k to a fidelity rollover ira. [ laughter ] [ beeping ] [ laughs ] [ siren wailing ] [ male announcer ] theyll see you before you see them. Cops are cracking down on drinking and driving. Drive sober, or get pulled over. cheers and applause jon welcome back you know, america is pretty hard on its youth these days and rightfully so. Millennials, you might call them lazy. They live in their parents basement and cant find a job. They would rather be unemployed than take a job they think is beneath them. Jon they suck all of them except for her, but everyone else. Theyre superficial, lazy, basementdealing parasites who have been told their perfect special little snowflakes who deserve their own reality shows. This group of young people could be our greatest weapon in the world on terror. In recent months, i. S. I. S. Has recruited thousands of brandnew members and many from western countries, some of them are teens jon millennials. Thats right. Millennials have been trojan horsed into the war on terror. Wait till these brutal fundamentalists of i. S. I. S. Get a taste of the entitle meant generation. There are a lot of disillusiont recruits. Some of those who are joining are complaining. This is majeed. He went to fight alongside i. S. I. S. , but instead ended up cleaning toilets. Clean toilets . Plus, they dont provide healthcare. Jon first, i. S. I. S. Said if i liked my doctor i could keep him. Then he said he was an infidel and i had to kill him which is it . Sorry, i. S. I. S. , kids dont clean or fight and dont stay on their parents Healthcare Plan till theyre 26. We just beat i. S. I. S. And we dont even realize it. Heres what convince med. Another quote, im fed up, my ipad doesnt work anymore here. I have to come back. Jon boom the people i. S. I. S. Is recruiting will do anything to advance the cause of establishing eternal islamist caliphate unless their ipods break this is when the values come into conflict. Its not witnessing brutality thats putting a wedge between them and jihad, its they cant listen to taylor swifts new album i feel bad for them. You brought this on your self, i. S. I. S. I. S. I. S. Recruits with videos with all the hollywood production value of a movie. Time to put down the chicken wings and come to jihad, bro. Jon just reinforces the belief you cant trust anyone that uses the term bro. laughter but, hey, once i. S. I. S. Realizes who theyre dealing with theyll send them back. One was set to be beheaded when he explained to the amir he wanted to follow his friend who left. Jon not only do they have healthcare, they have a really heres a question for you when electricity is generated with natural gas instead of todays most used source, how much are co2 emissions reduced . Up to 30 . 45 . 60 . The answer is. Up to 60 less. And thats a big reason why the u. S. Is a world leader in reducing co2 emissions. Take the energy quiz round 2. Energy lives here. vo rescued. Ed. Protected. Given new hope. During the subaru share the love event, subaru owners feel it, too. Because when you take home a new subaru, we donate 250 dollars to helping those in need. Well have given 50 Million Dollars over seven years. Love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. cheers and applause jon welcome back my guest tonight is former professional wrestler, best selling author, his latest project the documentary film, i am santa. Im on staff of what is popularly called the sex club and you will notice it says right here, no nudity at the buffets. Oh, ahhh santas cookies. I lie to people and tell them this is what i smell like when i sweat. laughter ive always been mick foley as santa claus. Nobodys ever been under the impression they were actually meeting santa claus. I would like to see if i have what it takes. So im going to give it a try. Jon welcome back to the program mick foley cheers and applause jon how are you, brother . How you been . Im good, bro jon no no how you been . This is very festive. This is fess sieve. I decided early on when youre doing a bare bones documentary, i was going to try to build a little grassroots interest so i decided to dress it with santas themed attire for an entire year. This is day 350. Jon youre kidding me . 350 Straight Days wearing santathemed attire laughter jon that sounds like a c. I. A. Technique. laughter jon so you have 15 more days. Exactly. Jon have you planned out your first post santa outfit . It will be it will be something jon probably something for the daily show. This is perfect for you. If anyone i know is the spirit of christmas embodied, is the santa spirit, its you you have that warmth, that generosity of spirit. How did you come to this idea to document those that are santas . The director, tony abalone came to me jon dont make up names. laughter hes in the green room. He cast a wrestler in every project hed done. He was wondering how do i cast a wrestler in this film and someone told him i had a yearround christmas theme for 15 years and that i often dressed as santa but id never become that guy. So once we did the transformation, i dont know if you could tell, this is the worst temporary dark hair die job youve ever seen. The beard is actually white under here. Jon your actual beard is white . My actual beard has been bleached white. Once i leave i actually already have the boots on. cheers and applause and when i leave the studio, ill go to brooklyn and ill sing must be santa with norah jones. Jon really . Youre living the santa life. I love it jon im worried about you. After christmas, whats going to happen . These santas that you met, how did you select the santas . Are there santas left out that are annoyed by that . I hate to even say that. There are some angry santas. laughter this past weekend, i swear im not making this up, i took place in what is called the International Fruitcake Eating Championship in santa claus, indiana. Jon terrific. After placing second before being disqualified for hiding huge softball size chunks of fruitcake underneath my table, i found out there was a plan to boycott and picket and protest my appearance by other santas. After the initial sting wore off i imagine how you felt when you first heard the criticisms of Brian Killmead after they wore off, i was, like, please protest, this would be tremendous. Jon weve heard for years about divisions within the Santa Community laughter and i hope this will hopefully get us to a better place. Who are the other santas . Is there an official Santa Organization or are these your lone wolf santas . These are topnotch guys. Jon topnotch santas . Four individual guys. I think tommy did a great job selecting the guys. Jon because you are involved in this now, are the santa protests done now . Why were they protesting . Because they wanted to be in it or they i think theres a confluence of reasons. I think they were concerned that it would make the santa world look bad. I think there was a fear of, a phobia over the potential. Jon how do you make the santa world look bad . Hes the one whose always judgmental. Hes the one, oh, are you naughty or nice . You know what . If he would stop judges us, we would stop judging him in the end, people walk away with a deeper appreciation of the dedication of those who wear the red suit, and grown men cry jon, i was at the last screening jon no, i want to get back to the phrase a deeper appreciation for the men who wear the red suit. Yeah. I can tell by your tone you dont have that appreciation. Jon no, i do i grew up jewish. All i wanted all my life for the jews to come up with something to match that dude. We had hanukkah harry, and hed show up and say, yeah, they have a menorah, i have to leave something. Its an amazing season where Everybody Loves this guy and youre just, like, yeah, thats nice. We had our last screening was in long island, the cinema arts center, which shows mainly art films and documentaries. The woman in charge came up and said this is my favorite documentary of the year and im jewish. We show the hardships of these guys. I realized how ridiculous this frilly shirt is. No, no dude, youre wearing santa boots. Youre all right. We document the hardships they go through throughout the year. These are guys who want to be that guy. Jon not just during the season, its all year around . These are bearded santas who look like santa all a year around but they live for the six or seven weeks they get to be that guy. My santa who visited our house legally changed his name to santa claus. Thats a level of dedication you dont see too much. Jon he changed his name to santa claus . He changed his name to santa claus. Jon how much mail does that dude get . applause thats amazing nobody better to tell the santa story than the man with the biggest heart. I am santa cause available on netflix and itunes. Netflix and itunes. Its mick my baby drove up in a brand new cadillac. Look here, daddy, im never coming back. Discover the new spirit of cadillac and the best offers of the season. Lease this 2015 standard collection srx for around 359 a month. cheers and applause jon thats our show heres your moment of zen. Thanks for the time. Good to be here, brett. Next up, one more night. Whats in the bill to keep the government for shutting down tomorrow at midnight . One more night give me one more one more night captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report. Thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. In here, out there, all around the world. Stephen Stephen Stephen thank you so much for being here. Please, youve given enough at this point. Thank you very much. You know, folks, i hope youre checking your calendars because i will be off the air for the 2016 president ial election, but folks that does not mean i cannot call it right now. So with zero percent of precincts caring, the next president of the United States will be wisconsin governor, scott walker. Congratulations, sir well deserved. Ooooh, they love you. Im calling this for Governor Walker right now because he has proven that he is smarter than he looks, sounds and governs. He knows that if you want to get elected in this country as a republican, you cant just appeal to white people. You also need to appeal to jewish white people. A number of highprofile republicans with sights on the 2016 president ial bid are returning from a weekend in