laughter cheers and applause last night, Aaron Franklin fed us barbecue. cheers and applause i didnt want to believe the hype but hes, like, hey, man, its the best. I didnt buy that. But ill tell you something, im more brisket than man now. cheers and applause he still made us wait in line for five hours. laughter but it was worth it and my point is this im not leaving cheers and applause as much as people have been telling me, oh, you have to try this place, or have you ever been attacked by thousands of bats . Youve got to do it here in austin. Our underbridge attack bats are the best attack bats. As much as that banned out theres one refrain that ive heard that still feels like hyperbole. Democrats salivating over flipping texas, solid red, to blue. I thought texas was going to be blue in 2012. Jon really listen to me, texas has been a conservative state since dinosaurs roamed it 6,000 years ago. applause according to the States High School textbooks. cheers and applause if tax has a right to turn blue, how does texas candidate for governor gregg abbott carry a 20point lead over wendy davis . I assume that popularity comes from abbott maybe starting to sell himself to texas voters as an enlightening centrist. He sued the Obama Administration 30 times. And at a time democrats pose add greater threat to texas than north korea. Posted an ad that shows a gun and bible and reads, two things every american should know how to use, neither of which are taught in schools. Thats why gregg abbott is opening his howdy jesus, bang bang academy cheers and applause isnt it time your kids teachers ask the question, what would jesus shoot . laughter so texas is not quite ready for a blue governor or a moderate governor or anyone who even a decade ago would be considered a mainstream republican, is there anyone up for statewide office thats too far right for a texas that might be turning blue . How about lieutenant governors race . Dan patrick admits hes a chris cane conservative and walked off the floor during a muslin prayer. Outlawing all abortion even in the case of rape. booing jon you couldnt be redder than that guy if you took clifford the big red dog and shoved it into the devils rectum. Thats as red as red as red cheers and applause im glad we didnt do that whole picture laughter i mean, if there is just even a hint of teal in this state, that guys got to be going down. Numbers released today show commanding leads for republicans candidates statewide. Dan patrick came out with a 17point lead over democrat leticia van de putte. Jon 17point lead is he running against a democrat or a jar of salsa from new york city laughter maybe the blue is starting on a local level, a congressional representative. Ive had people say, hey, theres nothing wrong with, you know, gays in the military. Look at the greeks. Well, you know, they did have people come along who they loved that was the same sex and would give them massages before they went into battle. But you know what, its a different kind of fighting, its a different kind of war and if youre sitting around getting massages all day, then youre not going to last very long. laughter jon you know gays and their massages. laughter it was okay in the old days when wars had happy endings, right . laughter wow ill be, like, that guy is actually trying to turn texas bleep . And thats just the tip of the red bird. The government spooks are drunk on power doing what democracy says you will not do. The hubris and arrogance of Government Social engineering. Ine socialism. Socialism in its purest form. Wheres the constitution . The president deserves to be impeached plain and simple. I hate to see a dictatorship come into this country but seems like thats whats happening. Jon that guy seems awful folksy about dictatorship showing up on american soil shucks hate to see us getting ready to throw folks into box cars and send them off to labor camps, but. laughter shoot i reckon thats whats happening. laughter hey mrs. Johnson, do i smell pie . Is that your rhubarb pie . I sure would like a slice while were all still free cheers and applause yes even in the face of all that, democrats still think they have a chance to take this state. The one thing democrats have working in their favor is demographics. In the next six years, hispanics are expected to be 42 neck and neck with the caucasian white population in texas. You will be announcing that were calling the 38 electoral votes of texas for the democratic nominee for president. cheers and applause jon you poor bastards. laughter democrats, youre that drunk guy at the bar who wont stop hitting on a girl, even though he knows shes a lesbian. laughter no, dude, trust me i can totally flip her i just need time well be right back. Well be right back. cheers and applause on my journey across america, ive learned that when you ask someone in texas if they want big savings on car insurance, its a bit like asking if they want a big hat. scuse me. Or a big steak. Or big hair. I think we have our answer. Geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. Craft burgers, fresh ingredients. Made to order when you order. So you can devour it right about now. The new sweet smoky burger at the new chilis, where fresh is happening now. Left twix® is extra crisp so it stays crunchy when we apply caramel and chocolate. Right twix has the same thing. They have packing tape like that over at right twix . Try both. Pick a side. Twix cant wait to get the next big thing . Come to tmobile and get the Samsung Galaxy note 4 for zero down. Grab the hottest phone around, for zero down and zero waiting and zero annual Service Contracts only at tmobile. Stuck in a contract . Well even buy you out of it. So why wait . Switch now and get the Samsung Galaxy note 4 for zero down. They say you get what you pay for, but sometimes you get a whole lot more. Like the jr. Bacon cheeseburger and other great tastes for less from wendys. Now thats better. cheers and applause jon you know, from what weve seen here i dont know even know what the phrase is ive got to tell you, theres one thing about austin that we found truly bizarre. Samantha. If theres one thing people know about austin, texas, its weird how does austin keep it weird . Oh, they have a lot of really crazy, kooky people here. Okay. Last week i saw a guy with a like a bore rat kind of thing riding a bicycle. I was walking down sixth street on a saturday night and there was a woman about no top on. Whats so weird about austin . Yes, austin is known as the freethinking, less leaning, distinctly liberal blueberry in the tomato soup of texas. I can only imagine what their members of Congress Look like. Whos your congressional representative . It is Roger Williams. Roger williams oh, my god he sounds amazing what does he look like . Oh, my god, hes got the piercings and has dream catchers and thats not Roger Williams at all. Probably has a daughter named sunbeam, turned his navel into a stash pocket . No, not at all. Hes an old white guy. Hes a republican. There you go. We have five republicans that represent austin in congress. Five republicans represent austin in congress out of how many . Out of six. There goes my progressive lady boner. Totally placid now. Theyre only republican ironically, though, right . No, they legitimately have the r in frond and they embody that r. In a city so liberal that the only rightleaning mayoral candidate apparently ran on a bet, somehow five of six congressional representatives are staunchly republican. Michael voted on planned parenthood,hood called remack a nightmare. Roger williams says president obama is a socialist. This guy could have sponsored a bill. Even the lone democrat looks like he could fire your father. We talked to an expert to see how this happened. Redistricting or gerrymandering is when they redraw the voting p to ensure a constituency that will bring them back to office, something politicians do to manipulate the voting process. Thats very good. Thats very good. Would you like a cricket . The repdrawn map works so hard to break up austin into conservative friendly districts that the tent extents to houston where the 25th reaches dallas 243 miles away. Dallas is the largest city in the country without an anchor district. What makes austin weird isnt the top hats and bikes, its something even weirder. Oh, my gosh you austinites thats whats so weird about austin, okay . You seem to be so progressive but the vast majority of your congressional representatives are staunch republicans. You almost had me fooled thinking its totally progressive here. Im never going to be cool you guys are so cool youre so counterculture i cant even keep up. Thats pretty weird but not in the way i like. Yes, exactly redistricting wont take place here for another eight years. So until then, austinnites are bleep with representation that doesnt represent them . Ooh, theyre red that looks just like district 21 jon samantha, well be right pete man, these boneless chicken wings are great. Yeah, i know. I finally found myself a wingman. Youre going to use the wing as your wingman . Yeah, for the ladies. Its going to give you that certain je ne sais quoi . Jenna said what . 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My guests tonight they got their start here in austin 20 years ago. Now to play the song inside out from their new album, they want my soul, please welcome spoon. cheers and applause times gone inside out time gets distorted with this intense gravity i dont got time for holy rollers but then they wash my feet and i wont be their soldier theres intense gravity im just your satellite im just your satellite ooh, and i know that times gone inside out and now its only like we told you hmmm. Oh then they wash my feet they do not make me complete break out a character for me time keeps going on when we got nothing else to give we got nothing else to give ooh, cause our times gone inside out i dont make time for holy rollers hmmm. Theres only you i need they do not make me complete cheers and applause cheering at subway. Overs rejoice. Where the mangalicious meatball marinara is now a famous 5 footlong. Bursting with italian seasonings and our signature marinara sauce, its a 5 footlong, all october long. Subway. Eat fresh. Guinness master brewers tproudly introduce new guinness blonde american lager. Deliciously crisp and flavorful, brewed with mosaictm and willamette american hops and using centuries old guinness brewing artistry and traditions. The First Addition in the new guinness discovery series. Discover a new age of brewing excellence for yourself. New guinness blonde american lager. Youwhen they wakeel up dry in pampers. While ordinary diapers have 2 layers, pampers has 3 absorbent layers. So they stay up to three times drier. For up to twelve hours of protection. And good mornings. Pampers. Tbut sometimes you get wa whole lot more. Like the great tastes starting at just 99cents each at wendys, where saving doesnt mean settling. Now thats better. cheers and applause jon ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much. I just want to thank austin, the entire city, the zach theater. cheers and applause thank you so much. I want to thank whatever process is used to smoke meat. cheering i honestly feel like a snake that swallowed an animal whole. And i may not eat again for weeks. But you guys, would you do another . Yeah, we could do one more. Jon spoon its their new album they want my soul. Thank you guys again. I was on 45th i was half out of a dive yeah i knew that you saw me you laughed when i looked back i thought id given up now i didnt feel so bad and then shock went through me and then i walked right back do you want to get understood do you want one thing or are you looking for sainthood . Do you run when its just getting good . Or do you, do you, do you, do you someone get popsicles someone do something bout this heat cause its late in october and tars still melting in the streets you tip toe for ages and lose yourself flipping back pages, unblocking belts oh love, thats the way love comes do you, dont you know that thats the way love comes . Do you feel it black and blue . Or do you, do you, do you, do you. [ screaming ] im going down to south park, gonna have myself a time Friendly Faces everywhere humble folks without temptation going down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ample parking day or night people spouting, howdy, neighbor heading on up to south park, gonna see if i cant unwind mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmhmhm rm so come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine were here live at the kozy 102. 1 halloween haunt at the south park docks. Come on down. Weve got a haunted house, and everyone is decorating for tomorrow night, halloween, when the band korn thats right korn is going to play live. And dont forget to wear a costume tomorrow, because theres a big first prize. Here are some kids enjoying the halloween haunt now. Say, boys, what do you think of kozy fms halloween haunt so far . This one time, like eight months ago, i saw two guys kissing in a park. That was the gayest thing id ever seen until i saw the kozy fm halloween haunt. All right well, enjoy the spooky docks, kids. Hey, you guys. You know what time of year it is . Of course, dumbass. Its halloween. Thats right, and that means only two more months till christmas you better not cry out, christmas . Christmastime is presents for me