Realizing this time i can hear them. Well, the democrats are in control. We dont know. Its the subject of tonights democalypse 2014 its all about that base. What will happen if republicans recapture the senate . The stakes are stunning. If the president loses the senate, he will have both houses of Congress Working to stop him. Gridlock will be epidemic. Jon oh, no, grid lock will be epidemic in washington. Thats like saying the internet will been inundated with porn. Traditionally midterms function as a referendum for the president. How is the president s population affecting the race . The administrations policies are simply wrong. Mr. President , its clear, you have no idea how this affects kentucky. I oppose president obamas gun control legislation. No one from new york or washington tells me what to do. Ill make sure president obama gets the message. [gunfire] [laughter] jon well, i had no idea the white house had such an accessible, uh, acme companylike off switch. Seems like a weakness in our nations electrical grid, not to mention an inconvenience for the president. How many times are you sitting around the house trying the read something and, d oo h you know, these republican attack ads are just getting sillier and im being told the candidates in those ads are democrats. But even though Democratic Candidates are throwing the president shade, that isnt stopping him on working on their behalf. In colorado the president showed up for a fundraising event for senator mark udall. Well, mark udall was nowhere to be seen. Jon oh, that stings a bit, but if you think youre going to shame obama by not wanting to be seen with him in public, the man has two teenage daughters. [laughter] i think hes familiar with the concept of being shunned. Dad, can you not president just one time in front of my friends. Please. Yeah. Thats a Pitch Perfect impression. Among the democrats running from obama, Kentucky Senate candidate Allison Grimes up against mitch mcconnell. Mcconnell has a lot of strikes against him. Hes the face of republican obstructionism, a stalwart for big business and he sounds exactly like this, i sure would like. I sure would like to be elected for my sixth term. [laughter] hold on yep. Thats exactly how he sounds. But grimes isnt without some skeletons in her closet. Grimes father has become an issue, too. He owns hugh jass burgers in lexington. Jon thats right. Hugh jass burgers, a kentucky staple just around the corner from another famous kentucky establishment, e. Normas weiners. That ones not real. So her father owns a waggishly punned establishment. How bad can that be . The menu includes abbys hugh jass, name after his daughter abigail, and charlottes rack, a reference to barbecue and his wife. Jon my goddaughters tater tits, aunt sophies crusty muffin. I hate my family. [laughter] so one of these candidates is associated with a disreputable association that flaunts its contempt for women, and the other has a dad that owns hugh jass burgers. Boom what if your opponents dad doesnt own a hill lairly is named fast food joint. You could go with mark pryors strategy against his opponent tom cotton. Tom cotton voted against preparing america for pandemics like ebola. He was the only one to vote against childrens hospitals. My opponent is pro ebola and antibaby. Well, that certainly has to be the most prejortive and accuse or the ad in the senate race, you would think. If you didnt live in alaska. Alaska turned ugly. The democratic senator criticized his republican challenger dan sullivan. I want to show you a crime scene. I dont know how long dan sell van lived in alaska, but as attorney general he left a lot of sex offenders get off of life sentences. One got out of prison, broke into an Apartment Building and murdered a senior couple. [laughter] jon dan sullivan is like a oneman, law and order s. U. V. Plot generator. Svu obviously not s. U. V. S. U. V. Would be just a guy in a truck. [laughter] you try and read. How can a guy like that even dare to run unless, of course, theres some mitigating circumstances that due to the time constraints of that campaign ad was nom included that may shed some exonerating light on sullivan. A clerical error was s to blame. So i guess it appears sullivan had nothing to do with it, but i guess thats for the voters to decide. Whats sell havents take on the race . Millions of dollars of negative ads are flooding into alaska, paid for by Washington Special interests. Pretty soon youre going to want to do this to your tv. [laughter] jon or you could turn it off. [laughter] but thats your choice, alaska. You can vote for a guy what lice in his campaign ad or his opponent, the weird guy down at the edge of town who shoots his appliances when they displease him. Toaster. Well be right back. [cheering and applause] feel it in your heart, feel it in your soul, let the music take control, karamu. New bud light lime appleahhhrita fiesta forever. Hi can i help you . Im looking for a phone plan. It has to be a great one, and i dont compromise. Ok, how about 10 gigs of data to are, unlimited talk and text, and you can choose from 2 to 10 lines. Wow, sounds like a great deal. So im getting exactly what i want, then . Appears so. Now, um, im not too sure what to do with my arms right now cause this is when i usually start throwing things. Oh, thats terrifying at ts bestever pricing. 210 lines, 10 gigs of truly shareable data, unlimited talk and text, starting at 130 a month. Wow [ narrator ] on a mission to get richard to his campbells chunky soup. Its new chunky beerncheese with beef and bacon soup. I love it. And mama loves you. Hey, jennar fuzz mike and trooawwwwww scram g. Im crust mike jubby roll bond chow gonna lean up an kiss bet. Peas charty get town down. [laughter] borf a liver tute face stummy wag pow pam shabeeps stella nerf berms. Saxanay nay . Badumps a head. Temexiss gurrin. Juppa left. Fluppa jown brone a brood. What . Catch up on what everyones talking about with the x1 entertainment operating system. Preloaded with the latest episodes of the top 100 shows. Only from xfinity. Jon welcome back. Its september. You know what that means. Its september, the whiff of fall is in the air. Football is back. Youre probably watching it right now. And this all across the country, schools are reopening to find thousands of illegal immigrant children in the classroom. Jon oh, my god, theres thousands how are they going to fit all in one classroom . I hope theyre at least using some type of bunk desk. The costs are mounting. Now so are the health concerns. Some of these minors have been exposed to chickenpox, tuberculosis. Strep throat. Measles. Lice. Swine flu. Lets talk about scabies. Lets talk about scabies was the worst salt and peppa song ever lets talk about scabies lets talk about you and me lets talk [laughter] so were looking at a possible toddler pandemic. Lets say one of these kids did manage to smuggle a germ across the border, what then . Theyre not being released into the community at large until they go through a thorough screening and theyre vaccinated. Lets not worry about the facts. The important thing is immigrant children are scary, in fact, immigrants in general. We sent our own michael che to investigate. Since late last year over 50,000 immigrant children from wartorn Central America arrived on our southern border, reigniting a National Conversation about our immigration policy, or to put it more simply were under invasion. Invasion of illegal immigrants. This is a governmentsanctioned invasion of our country. Jim gilchrist, founder of the minuteman project. Its a covert, essentially a trojan horse type of invasion into the united states. These are children, right . Yes, they are the vanguard of a much, much larger invasion which will lead to the demise of our nation as a Global Economic power. Children . Yes. But they are not coming here to kill. Theyre coming here to color. Sure, if they want to finger paint, sure, but they can also do that in their homeland. Thats right, theyre after american finger paint, so hes organizing a new border offensive starting next may hes calling operation normandy. What were going to do is man every porous area along the border from san diego, california to, brownsville, texas. If this is operation normandy and the children are invading us, wouldnt that make us the nazis . The reason i named it operation normandy was to show how large this event will be. I just think there are so many good wars out there that you could have made an announcement. Why not the alamo . Its right there. Literally. But amazingly, amelia maradonovich actually welcomed these invaders. What were trying to do is offer protection to these children who are fleeing. Honduras is the numberone murder capital of the world. Youre teaching them to run every time somebodys trying to murder them. Thats exactly what you should do. They are fleeing war and violence and persecution. I dont think theyre war zones. I think most of these children coming here using those executions are lying. Theyve been versed on how to do it. Tell them youre a political refugee. Tell them that gangbangers are trying to kill you or save me america. Its either that or theyre really just refugees. Yes. They could be refugees or they could be part of the. Giant, elaborate plan . Right. But even if they are legit refugees, jim understands these Central American children pose a unique threat to our nation. As the latinization of america continues on, youll see spanish equal to english. They will have the influence over who is going to become your dogcatcher, who is going to become your it will be just like china. Youll see history books probably rewritten where the alamo never existed. Thats a bunch of balder dish. Hispanic gangs, black gangs and now white gangs, too. No . Yes. Not white gangs . So who would be stupid enough to welcome in people like that . The obama straying is asking vermont to look into the possibility of housing some of those kids. But it may be too late. It turns out vermont has been taking in these alamodenying, dogcatcher electing refugees for 25 years. When i visited this goat farm run by refugees who came here decades ago, i was met by a terrifying gang that didnt even speak english. Dear god, the people of vermont needed operation normandy more than ever. Operation normandy . Sounds like theyre invading. Theyre not invading. Theyre looking for a better life. This is about refugees sneaking into the country and lying that theyre coming from wartorn countries when obviously theyre not. How do you know theyre not . You can just tell. I can just tell. They just wouldnt listen. Im a refugee here. Youre a refugee . Yes. Listen, i dont want to buy any drugs. Okay. Just saying. While this person cant come in because of their color or their race. No, not because of the color or the racer because of where theyre from and their color and their race. Why would you want to stop somebody from having a better life . Because theyre trying to have it here. If you can get god the sign that, everybody else will. If i could get god to sign it, i wouldnt be here. Id be on americas got talent. I now understand how hard it is to get people excited about these children. Were not the same country we were 40 years ago. We used to hate immigrants. Now some people are actually helping them. Its unfortunate. Throughout history there have been children in one country who could not get to another country. Were all going to die some day. We cant stop that. Im not giving a death wish on these children coming here or the illegal aliens. Im saying that theres some things realistically you cannot stop im just going to continue to not say anything and watch you be uncomfortable. It might sound tough, but i call it tough love. So i guess were just waiting on the love part to kick in. Michael che. Well be right back. Tmobiles network has more data capacity than verizon or at t. Its a network designed differently. A Network Designed Data strong. Everybody dance lose yourself in wild romance were going to party karamu fiesta forever bud light lime ritas you need to see this. Its ah. Its. Ok. Something that will change the world, and human life as we know it. Show em the curve. Do you know what this means . I dont know much about this stuff. But he does. The greater the curvature, the bigger the difference. [scifi tractor beam sound]. Sucked me right in. You are one giant, juicy temptress. Unbelievable . Gotta admit one thing. Cant beat the view. Youre not gonna believe this. [screaming goat] [screaming monster] its beautiful. Its more than that. Its perfect. Introducing the worlds first curved Ultra High Definition Television from samsung. And i smoked while i was pregnant. My baby was born two months early and weighed only 3 pounds. This is the view i had of her in the nicu. My tip to you is speak into the opening so your baby can hear you better. announcer you can quit. For free help, call 1800quitnow [cheering and applause] jon welcome back. My guest tonight is the front man of maroon 5. Their brandnew album is called v. Please welcome adam levine. [cheering and applause] first of all, relax. [cheering and applause] i dont want you to be intimidated by my looks. I want you to relax. Thank you for saying it. Jon youre very, very welcome, sir. How are you . You are the busiest man in show business that im aware of, putting out a new album, youre hosting the voice, youre being in the movies, you got married. Is this the most whirlwindish of times for you . Its pretty crazy. Its so much fun, and, this by the way, im super excited about. [cheering and applause] my mothers obsessed with you. My wife is obsessed with him. My band is obsessed with you in a creepy way. Jon heres whats crazy, i apparently have the wrong person on my show then. Where are all. Ive been obsessed with you sin karas flowers. Do you remember karas flowers . I do. It was a long time ago. Jon no, look at the picture. Thats you. Wow that. Is me. Thats you from karas flowers back in the day. Was that the band from high school . Weve been playing since high school. Look at my illfitted tie. Jon i believe, if im not incorrect, that was the style back in the day. It was very 90s of me. What happened is a guy who works here, he went to high school with your little brother, and so he actually just had that picture in his cubicle. Thats totally cool. Jon thats totally not weird. Thats not totally creepy. Jon are you enjoying being part of the voice. Whats being part of the voice. Youre a rock star. Youre out there every night, people are cheering. Television is a grind. Nobody likes you. The people comment on the youtube. [whistling] exactly. What made you want to do that . Honestly, it turned into this thing and it started off as just a risky, weird idea that mark burnett, i dont know if you ever met him, mark burnett is very convincing. Hes the producer of the voice. Hes the producer of every show. Jon survivor. Hes like a megaproducer of the world. Hes like, you got to do this, its great. Hes really enthusiastic and english and other things, too. Jon what other things . Its like an allovertheplace accent. Hes a really excited, energetic dude. He hates me now for doing this. But he was convincing. And the show was a great idea. The concept was cool. I thought, why not . It cant possibly be huge. It will be a year and its been like three years, seven seasons. Its just unbelievable. I think honestly, and you can tell you have fun doing what you do, and i think that if you have a good time doing it or at least most of the time, its a blast. If youre having a blast and youre having fun and messing around and its good and its really rewarding to work with these guys trying to make it. Who are the new guys, two new cast members . Gwen stefani and farrell which is awesome. Jon its a good season . I always say its going to be the best season ever and this is our best album ever. Jon im going to put this up here. Its called v. Im going to guess its your sixth or seventh album. Its our fifth album. Jon that doesnt make any sense at all. What keeps you together . What keeps a band together. There are many stresses that pull people apartment you have gotten an awful lot of attention individually. What keeps the band together and still collaborating well . I think that stability, you know, and kind of being fearlessly kind of wanting to just try new things, because i think a lot of times bands especially, we get stuck in our ways and we want to do things one way and we continue to do that. Weve been in that position with our careers before, too, but we started being open to doing things differently and trying new styles and new sounds, which we also get persecuted for by our fans, but i love them, but well do what we want to do, and that will be great. You know, over ten, 20 years, you have to kind of change it up a little bit. I think that all of our favorite bands have always done that. So trying new things,. Jon have you really been together ten to 20 years . That photo, in that photo, there are three of the guys in the band since we were 12 years old. Jon thats amazing. My boys. Jon since you were 12 years old together . I bet somebodys got some photos in a shoebox that. Some really embarrassing photos. Jon i would imagine so. Now, are you calling it v or are you calling it five . Heres the thing, heres the deal, i dont even really know anymore. Its maroon 5, its our fifth album, lets call it something. Then it was v. Then it was 5. I forgot. Everyones question is what is it. Ive been confused. Jon you really just go where they tell you to go. You know what, whatever you want to call it. Jon maroon 5. Their new album is in stores now. Theyre going on huh, fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. Everybody knows that. Well, did you know you that former pro Football Player ickey woods will celebrate almost anything . Unhuh. Number 44. Whoooo fortyfour, thats me get some cold cuts. Get some cold cuts. Get some cold cuts whooo gimme some geico. 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Pick it pick it pick it pull the plow son this is not a one man joobbb [ male announcer ] however you stay fit start with delicious low fat sandwiches like the subway club. Subway. Eat fresh. Like the subway club. Hey, jennar fuzz mike trooawwwwww scram g. Im crust mike jubby roll bond chow gonna lean up an kiss bet. Peas charty get town down. [laughter] borf a liver tute face stummy wag pow pam shabeeps stella nerf berms. Saxanay nay . Badumps a head. Temexiss gurrin. Juppa left. Fluppa jown brone a brood. What . Catch up on what everyones talking about with the x1 entertainment operating system. Preloaded with the latest episodes of the top 100 shows. Only from xfinity. Jon thats our show. So listen, there are very few people in my business that you could say are or were actually groundbreaking talents. Joan rivers was one of them. Unfortunately shes passed away. We send our very best out to her family. Were all thinking of you. Anyway, here it is, your moment of zen. A girl cant call. Girl, you have the wait for the phone to ring, right. And when you finally go on the date, the girl has to be well dressed. Her face has the look nice. Their hair has to be in shape. The girl has to be the one thats bright and pretty, intelligent, a good sport. Howard johnsons again, hooray, hooray. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [exciting music] [opera music]