Oh, man, can a brother gate batman sequel . For gods sake. [laughter] i just need day off. Thats all i need. The audience wants me do the same. What would you do . I dont know. I just want some pizza. What do you want from me . [laughter] but tonight id like the talk to you about corporations. Corporations, theyre a lot like us immortal. [laughter] shielded from liability, accountable tom shareholders. Oh, wait, thats opposite of us. Sorry. But there is one thing corporations do have in common with the rest of us. They dont like paying taxes. Hate it. Fortunately, they rarely have to. Its the subject of tonights oh, no. Thats not. I dont. I did not approve this, and i feel that this is disrespectful in some ways. Its about. Okay. That i dont. That i dont. Lets go with the first one, and then well just. Okay. Thats fine. [laughter] anyway, this seasons hot new tax loophole for corporations, a onceobscure tax dodge known as the corporate inversion, which sounds like the business equivalent of gender reassignment, and it kind of is. Its a liberating procedure for companies that have been raids american but know in their heart theyre really irish. Tax inversions, thats where companies reincorporate overseas simply to cut their u. S. Tax bills. Accompanied by the foreign subsidiary. Through the magic of paperwork proclaims itself to be a Foreign Company and owned by the subsidiary. At the beginning of the day, youre an american company. At the end of the day youre, an irish company. Jon its like st. Patricks day for corporations. [laughter] except instead of beer, they vomit profit. Corporate inversion is a winwin for everyone. And by everyone, i mean only the corporations and their shareholders. Congress estimates that inversions will cost the treasury 19. 5 billion over ten years, but Fortune Magazine believes that that estimate is way low because Fortune Magazine is a communist rag. [laughter] how do we stop inversion . President obama will support antiinversion legislation. The legislation would mandate that Companies Must be more than 50 owned by a foreign entity to escape u. S. Taxes. Jon well, that sounds reasonable, and if president obama is backing that law, its probably a done deal. [laughter] just out of curiosity, though, for giggles here, where does the Republican Party stand . We have the highest Corporate Tax rate in the world. Our tax code, which is whats causing a lot of these inversions. In a way these companies are economic refugees. [laughter] jon oh, if theyre refugees, why dont we just stick to our normal policy and send them back to where they came from. Oh, wait, thats here [laughter] but obviously bestowing Refugee Status on multibillion dollar corporations attempting to maximize profit through globalized tax evasion is entirely appropriate. Lets meet one of these poor corporate waifs, pas mylan pharmaceutical. No, thats an actual refugee. Lets refugee up the logo a little bit. Okay. Great. Thats nice. Where is this Poor Corporation seeking asylum . This month mylan announced that it would incorporate in the netherlands as part of a tax inversion deal. Jon poor, generic drug company. Life was so bad for mylan in the u. S. That it decided to go from pennsylvania dutch to just plain dutch. [laughter] well, here are some of the terrible conditions that mylan faced in their home country. Millions of dollars in oppressive tax credits for things like economic opportunity, for things like industrial expansion, for things like manufacturing investment, for research and development, for something called Strategic Research and development. Which is apparently a whole bleep different thing than regular research and development. Were running out of room. Super credits against business franchise tax, Super Credits against corporate net taxes, even a tax credit for rehabilitating an historic building. Yes, taxpayers gave a multibillion dollar generic boner pill Company Money to artificially prop up an aging structure long past the point that nature meant for it to collapse to rubble. [cheering and applause] by the way, if that building stands for more than four hours, you may want to call your architect. [laughter] but along with tax credits, the oppressive american regime also forced mylan to accept 3 billion in sales from just the v. A. Since 2009, although since its the v. A. , i assume those were for ailments from the 90s. Now, we know how conservatives feel about individuals who take advantage of Government Programs theyre legally entitled to. Remember the surfer dude, lives on food stamps, uses your tax dollars to eat lobster. This guy is parasite. Just because you can take advantage of a system doesnt mean you should. I wonder where his parents are. [laughter] jon i believe its the neatherlands. [laughter] well, all right, if thats how you feel about people who take too much advantage of entitlements, how do you feel about corporations who on a much larger scale and through morally dubious yet entirely legal means [bleeped] over the United States government while still enjoying all the infrastructure and security benefits said government provides . The company is more competitive when it puts its legal headquarters overseas. They have a fiduciary obligation to their shareholders. Abbott lab c. E. O. Miles white says this is legal. Kudos for him for standing up as a c. E. O. And taking a stand. You dont often see that. Jon oh, kudos. You so rarely see fiduchbags like that. Out thing the policies that make them money. Its like seeing a unicorn, spreading disease and pestilence in the subway. Im sorry. Im being told im confusing them with rats. I always confuse rats with unicorns. Thats probably why my daughters Birthday Party was such a disaster. [laughter] look at my lean body. Dressed in my trademark jeans. When does this end . When, i say, getting back to the bit . We are constantly giving in to every demand and whim of corporations. And yet theyre still not satisfied. Theyll never be sats filed. Mylan was paying an effective tax rate in the United States of 16. 2 in 2013. Rather than the 35 Corporate Tax rate there is. They were enjoying enormous government contract, the benefits of our nih research and development and its still not enough. They just want and want and want with no concern wait a minute. When was the Citizens United decision. That was 2010, right . That explains it. Corporations have only been people for like four years. [laughter] theyre toddlers. And by giving in every time they throw a tantrum and threaten to run away from home, were spoiling these bastards. If were in the careful, these corporations will grow ferel and turn into something even worse. Greasm we dont start telling corporations no, theyre going to end up peeing in buckets and trying to sneak monkeys into germany. Maybe its time to tell corporations, if you want to live under our roof, you play by our rules, so, no, mylan, you cant go to holland. Youre grounded. Well be right back. [cheering and applause] [ male announcer ] dogs smile longer when you give them dentastix. The oral care treat that tastes great, and is clinically proven to reduce tartar buildup. And for dogs that really love to chew, theres new dentastix deep clean. The treat that encourages chewing, keeping dogs and their mouths happier even longer. Two great reasons to keep smiling. Dentastix, and new dentastix deep clean. Smile its dentastix time. Do you really think brushing is enough to keep it clean . While brushing misses germs in 75 of your mouth, listerine® cleans virtually your entire mouth. So take your oral health to a whole new level. Listerin®. Power to your mouth™. He likes to put a. 1. On burgers but not veggie kebabs. He also likes thats what she said jokes. Martin thats what she said vo you dont have to like everything martin likes. Put a. 1. On whatever you want. A. 1. For almost everything. Almost. Refreshingly sweet and intense. D hard apple cider. And bursting with a crisp apple bite. So try a Johnny Appleseed hard apple cider tonight and let the stories flow. Couple pieces of chicken, gigantic mashed potatoes. A biscuit, and a cookie. And a drink [chuckles] you can eat the cookie first, if you want. If you want, if you feel that way. Its your choice its amazing. Yeah. Every summer, my nana sends me a check for 5. Its a pain to cash, but when i do, i can buy all of this for 5. I need to write her a thank you letter. Yeah, you probably shouldve done that way long ago. Lets chow down. Spork [cheering and applause] jon welcome back. Foarks we all know video killed the radiostar. Ask your parents. [laughter] but has the internet killed newspapers . Yes or has it . Jordan klepper reports. The people of ann arbor, michigan, used to have a lot of local newspapers to choose from, but now all of them have closed up shop or proved online, all except one, the university of michigan studentrun daily. I went to their news troop see if they had what it takes to survive. What do you guys think journalism is . It must be well researched. Informative. Journalism is the ability to tell a story in a way that empowers people. Is this what theyre teaching you here . Uhhuh. Oh, we are so [bleeped]. They were going to get crushed. See, kids, the modern world of journalism is dominated by aggregators like these, the ones that killed traditional papers. Today men like former gawker editor zimmerman have redefined news. If a person is not sharing a news story, its not news. What advice would give College Students studying to be journalists. Id say dont bother unless youre learning how the craft the perfect story for the viral web, youre probably not getting much out of theajcation. Really . Yes. Nowadays its not important if a story is real. The only thing that really matters is whether people click on it. You got that, kids . Okay, professor, time for journalism 101. The most important thing is having a good headline. Usually youll start with a question word. Your whats, your whose, your wheres. Maybe a how . Yes. Then words that cause a person to stop and Pay Attention some hell use a this or a that. What this . Who that . Exactly. How long does it take do you write a good headline. Maybe 15 minutes. Just sitting there for 15 minutes coming up with that headline and then moving on. Then you have to write the rest of the article. How long does that take . Maybe five minutes. Time to see if these cub reporters have their priorities straight. Hear this sound . Thats the sound of people liking the things you put online. Read me some of your headlines. Acclaimed indy filmmaker donates work to archives. Next. New Grocery Store replace kroger on south industrial. Meet the man with no ass crack. Sneaky beagle hits up Chicken Nuggets while owner is away. Love it. Sorority girl gets back at twotiming boyfriend by [bleeped] his bed. Impressive, but he could help this room of full of kids help write articles that matter. Well, listen to the advice he has on how the spice up a groundbreaking story on alzheimers. Always lead with sex if you. Can. Are we going to touch on alzheimers . We want to wring people in with the boob and the sideboob but stick around for the harder stuff. Get up with the tits and give them the alzheimers for desert. Exactly. Okay. Lets put that to a lab test. By interviewing dr. Ava feldman, one of the worlds preeminent neurological researchers. In a phase one drug trial, what you. Ask her about her sex life. I dont think thats appropriate. Do it. I know theres cameras and everything, but feel free to talk openly about anything in terms of your personal life or the Reproductive Health of some of the staff here. There have been questions about that if you have any information you want to share. I dont. Okay. Didnt think so. These nerds didnt get it. Today news is only the things people want to click on. Do you feel that what you did at gawker influenced news . I think it definitely did influence news. I think it really depends which story youre talking about. If youre talking about. The zoo adopted a stray chat made friends with a lynx. Imagine that. I think it definitely influenced a new perspective on how. Kate upton on trampoline. Yeah, that sounds great. Sorry. I tell you, it probably has to a certain extent. Again, it depends on. Can i get that in three words or less . Yes, it has. Great. d legal with that. It was time to give these students some paternalistic inspiration. Adorable baby dressed as a doctor. Who is a clickable baby . For the exotic, baby lion. Were not insured. And who wants sideboob desk . [clicking] all right. After a few early hurdles who did this . I did. This is great. Take a picture and put it online. They started figuring it out. Drones. Thats a selfie with a drone. When, this this thing gets ce wave. Run, run. [bleeped] and when the new paper finally arrived, the students couldnt deny the genius of his ways. Great, right . This is [bleeped]. No, kid, this is news. Jon jordan klepper. Jon jordan klepper. Well be right back. Break the ice, jon jordan klepper. Well be right back. With breath freshening cooling crystals. Ice breakers. Honey, look i got one to land. Uhhuh. vo theres good more. Honey, look at all these smart rewards points verizon just gave me. Ooh, you got a buddy. Im like a statue. I just signed up and, boom, all these points. And theres notsogood more. Youre a big guy. Oh no. Get the good more with Verizon Smart rewards and rack up points to use towards the things you really want. Get the lg g3 for 199. 99. My f. I like dancing. G. So when we packed up our rav4, i brought this. Turns out my family likes dancing too. The rav4 toyota. Lets go places. The time has come. To raise the roof, and have some fun. Throw away the work to be done. Let the music play on, play on, play on everybody sing, everybody dance. Lose yourself in wild romance. Were going to party, karamu, fiesta forever. Bud light lime ritas fiesta forever. Jon welcome back. My guest tonight, her new series is called the honourable woman. After they dont want you to choose a palestinian. They want an israeli. It doesnt matter what anyone wants. We want you to choose a palestinian. Ly choose whoever best protects the aims and ideals of this company. And nothing you or anyone else wants will affect that decision. You cannot choose an israeli, not after this. Ill choose exactly who i want. Then you will have made a mistake. And if i do, at least it will be mine. Jon seems like an interesting subject. Please welcome back to the program maggie gyllenhaal. Come on look at you. How are you . Im good. Im good. Jon what are you doing to me . Sorry. Im sorry. Lets do it. Jon all right. So when did you start filming this thing, this miniseries . In 2013. Jon 2013. You probably thought to youre, well, jeerkz well make this and then probably be obsolete because by the time it comes out, this whole conflict will be solved. Right. Right. Jon people will see it as a historical document. No, not exactly. [laughter] it was a relatively quiet time when we made it. Jon where did you make it . We made it in london and morocco. Jon thats probably why it was quieter. London and morocco. 2013 was quiet in israel and palestine, too, quieter. Its true. Jon also you give a speech in the beginning of it. Your character gives a speech about relations between israel and palestine. And no one shouts you down. Nobody shouted you down. And i thought, i understand artistic license, but pushing fiction that far i think really can get you in trouble. Its funny. So far actually about this show, and ive been talking about it for a couple weeks. And ive watched you show. I know its been complicated. And i have not had anybody push back at me and be really upset. You know, i dont know. I guess well see what happens. Jon you have very thoughtful friends. I know. Im cure dwrows see what happens. I think there will be moments when people think weve gone too far to one side or too far to the other, but i think ultimately, you know. Jon its about understanding each other and dramatizing that. Well, its about laying out aspects of the conflict i think and asking the audience to think about it. Jon uhhuh. And so far, anyway, i mean, four episodes have played in london, and actually the fourth episode takes place in gaza and played last thursday. And, you know, i was really curious what would happen and how people would respond. And i think. I dont know. I hope it is making people think and feel. I dont know. Jon theres something called twitter. I think if you check it, i think youll see. Let me ask you because im almost more interested in when youre making it, because so much of this is. When youre creating something along these lines, its about the participants, the actors, the writers, the director discussing these issues. I imagine there was a wide variety of opinion on set. How did you find that that manifested itself. And was that an interesting conversation . I think in some ways we made a piece of art. I created a character. I tried create a character they hoped would speak to both sides. Now, maybe thats a fantasy. But i do think its a fantasy that is worth having, thats worth exploring, thats worth considering. And, you know, especially now at this moment where it feels impossible, where its really scary to talk about, especially in this country, you know, i think art can be one way in to start to think and feel about this, not that its going to solve anything, but if you can shift someone a little tiny bit, if its too scarery to have a conversation with so many people because people get so angry and stop listening, maybe, maybe Something Like this can make you feel about it in a way that makes you think. Is that when you first involve yourself in it, is that part of the calculation and the equation . Is this. This is a nice, particularly fruitful area for art to delve into because its touching, you know, the most volatile heart in some ways on the planet. Thats why i think hugo, who is the director, who is a genius, in my opinion, thats why he set it here on some level because there is an impossibility about it. It is the heart of something. For me, to be honest, i got involved and emotionally attached to whats happening there through making it. I knew about as much as you know if you kind of try read the newspaper, like i do. I do my best. I have two little kids. And i now am compulsively reading about it. Jon right. Try keep the kids away from that because that is a tough one to explain. True. To the little ones. Well, its always great to see you. Next time what do you think of about a kids animated series . You come back and talk that sure. I just came the challenge you a little bit. Jon i know. I love it very much. The honorable woman appears on sundance tv thursday july 31st at 10 00 p. M. , the first one here in this country. Yes. Jon maggie gyllenhaal, everybody. [applause] how do they make starburst taste so juicy . They import intense juiciness from the land of intensity. Get this intense juiciness to starburst you know i will have a pleasant day thank you get back to work [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. Have the protein and fuel to fire you up. Hot pockets got protein to pleeease cuz every bite has got my hot ham and cheeeeese hey pinata i got energyyy from my, my hot pockets my hot pockets with the protein of premium hickory ham and 100 real cheese. Its food that fires you up hot pockets my hot pockets nestle. Good food, good life. Its like jasper here. Strong. Sturdy. But not too sweet. [ male announcer ] built from apples. Built to refresh. Smith forge hard cider. Made strong. Finally, the purple pill,hr the 1 prescribed acid blocking brand, comes without a prescription for frequent heartburn. Get complete protection. Nexium level protection™ remind me to tell her happy anniversary. [ cortana ] next time you talk to caroline, ill remind you. [ siri ] oh no, i cannot do that. Oh, and remind me to get roses when im near any flower shop. Sure thing. Remind you when you get to flower shop. I cant do that either. Cortana, its gonna be a great night. [ beep ] oh wow thanks for the traffic alert. I better get going. Now that is a smart phone. Oh, wait its cause you make me smile oh, wait i voted for culture. With a k. how are you . I voted for plausible deniability. I didnt kill her, david. And i voted for decisive military action. America, you cast your votes. Now, go to xfinity on demand and select the peoples hotlist to see this summers top 100 shows and movies. I voted jon thats our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Here it is, your moment of zen. Everybody is talking about inversion, as well you should, but if you look at it through the lens of patriotism, i think youre wrong. And dont use the word patriotism unless its truly patriotic conversation. Back to you. All right. Thanks so much, rick. If oinlt were that easy. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh
comparemela.com © 2020. All Rights Reserved.