Very long. [ laughter ] human right as abuses, antigay legislation. My point is a colorful end to the winter games in sochi. The president of the ioc declairg them an extraordinary success. Jon extraordinary some people went count a hill and nobody blew up. So as russia saluted the end of games with the signature giant weeping bear and, of course, their ode to all the really great artists they had shot, impresident order exiled were reminded that our own jason jones was in russia near these games. Here now his final report. Now that the pageantry of the sochi olympics is behind us i finally have time to reflect on my stay in russia. What it boils down to is russias are a lot like us. They go to bars like us. They enjoy museums like us. And they even watch the same pirated dvds like us. The daily show with tiny jew. Jeb and johnson. Yes, good quality. The one thing that sets aws part is that russians are boniers. They doll crazy bleep . Dont get me wrong they do crazy bleep . Dont get me wrong i love watching it. But how about the land that give us war and peace p give us this. I sat down to better understand why russians are so extreme. We like to push the limits, we like to do things that are forbidden. Thats the fee turf our nations mentality. The craziest thing youve done . I dont think ive ever done anything crazy. I mostly doing roofing . What is that . Roofing, i means i walk on the roof of buildings. Being russian she video taped herself and put it an youtube for millions to witness her bleep sanity. A lot of people would strew that view that as crazy. Not russians we have a famous saying we live by, dont be a pussy snch that the saying in rush sharks dont be a pussy . Yes. You cant be a pussy and live in russia. Look what happens to a simple political blogger who investigates political corruption. Meet alexi four hours later to the interview because he was interindicated interrogated from russia isb. I oom barred from running for Political Office and ive been arrested many times times for organizing antdgovernment rallies. Why do you do it . If you look at putin and all his and therch our mics cut out. Seriously this really happen. The bugs in the office makes some problem for this equipment. Twice we found bugs in even small video camera in the office. The funny situation they took this box and send it to the fsb for the expertise so the box returns to the guys who place it. Holy bleep . You speak english . A little bit. Why the bleep were you making go through that russian bleep . It didnt matter what language we were speaking because when you criticize putin someone is listening. I dont think so. The small video camera and that small invisibility camera right here. Were going to do a broll where we pre tend to walk and talk. You go first. I know what you are thinking im acting like a pussy. Im american im allowed to. Russians dont have that choice. You are a pussy, right . Yes. Take these girls performance artists arrested. Some of them spent almost two years in prison for singing in a church. Were just fed up with the politics in this country and we just cant keep silent. What is next for you guy . I cant really go into details because this place might be bugd. Bugged. Theres government bugs in here, too . Yes, most likely. Okay. Listen to me you repeat exactly what im saying loud and clear. My name is jebin johnson and im here talking to snatch fight. My name is jebin johnson and im talking to snatch fight. Thats exactly what went down. If you go to rush shah and see people juferring off bridges and hanging off cranes or bleep did she jump off a mountain . Or if you see people protesting, punk rock organize fighting for change, it comes back down to that sim russian philosophy. Anything in life is possible if you just say dont be a pussy. And russians aint no pussies. [cheers and applause] jon jason jones. [cheers and applause] if i may [cheers and applause] jason jones and the producer who was with jason the entire time with the great pieces brennan shroff. Great job, guys. Amazing pieces. [cheers and applause] amazing. I do want to ask, somebody asked me this earlier even how did you get an interview with gorbachev whop hasnt been seen in years and you managed to get an interview . We got his phone number, rkpark to god from the ballpark market. Jon on the black market . Yes. Jon was it expensive . Yes it was. It cost a human liver. Jon really . Yeah, right there. Russian doctor said ill be fine. The guy he saw wasnt a doctor. Hes going to guy. Jon hes going to die. Tremendous job guys, well done. Jon h[ male announcer ] when you switch to sprints new framily plan, friends are like family, so whos gonna be in yours . How about a few facebook friends . [ male announcer ] but the more people you add, the lower the rate. Then add my work group. [ male announcer ] add up to 10 people, and everyone gets unlimited talk, text and one gig of data for as low as 25 a month each. Great who else you got . Hi, mom hi, honey i brought rubina. Hi, rubina uh, are the bills separate . [ male announcer ] all the bills are separate. Oh, hi, my love. Hi [ laughs ] [ male announcer ] the framily plan from sprint, with a new price, new plan, and an all new network. Visit a sprint store today. Beers have come and beers have gone, but one has stayed the course. Sam adams boston lager. Independently crafted from the finest everything since 1984. Dont change for us, we wont change for you. Try zyrtecd® to powerfully clear your blocked nose and relieve your other allergy symptoms. So you can breathe easier all day. Zyrtecd®. Find it at the pharmacy counter. Was it worshipped by an ancient civilization . Its real paco. [ man laughs, monkey screeches ] actually, we just ran out of buns. So. [ male announcer ] applebees legendary quesadilla burger. An epic reason to see you tomorrow. [ male announcer ] applebees legendary quesadilla burger. And the artist. When they Work Together well, thats when you can get something really new. When you hear this sound acomin hear the drummers drumming i want you to join together with the band you can play playstation on your own time. Were trying to shoot a movie here. Now, come on, join together with the band the band, the band [cheers and applause] jon welcome back. You know, americans we take certain things as gospel. George washington never told a lie, Benjamin Franklin invented everything. James gar feestlesd the first lasagna loving cat president. [laughter] what of lincoln. Here is one networks tribute to him. Im on a contrairan on Abraham Lincoln and bemoan the fact that he has been jon i believe he is referringing to the fact that he killed vam pires. Why bemoan a president most of us belike . I prefer to look at him this way. At the time he was president of the United States slavery was dying a natural death all over the western world. Instead of allowing it to die or helping it to die or even purchasing the slaves and then freeing them which would have cost a lot less money than the civil war cost, lincoln set about on the most murder russ war in american history. Oh, right. [ laughter ] compensated emancipation. Why didnt lincoln think of that . What is that . Did he think after this. He spent most of 1862 to convince states to free their slaves in exchange for money and everybody said bleep off. Okay. Because i wasnt economically feasible and the slave states had a deeply invested interest in maintaining a two tiered culture using cheap labor. Why we even talking about slavery . It seems that wasnt really what the civil war was about. Its not even awl together clear if slavery was the reason for secession. Sure. Largely the impetus for secession was tariffs. Jon sure unless he is talking about a slave named tariff, talking out his ass because in their own decorations of secession south carolina, georgia and mississippi all clearly put slavery as the number one issue for wanting to secede with mississippi saying quote our position is thoroughly identified with the interest of slavery, the greatest interest of the world. I guess could you read into that it goes on to say for future whitewashing purposes please replace the word slavery with tariffs. For more are we joined by larry wilmore. Thank you for joining us. So what about this idea that lincoln should have just waited because slavery would have eventually died of natural caves . Causes . Jon, the south was so committed to slavery lincoln didnt die of natural caves. [ laughter ] natural causes. Jon thats a good line. Yeah. Its true. Jon if the tree market was just about to end it then why is it still going on 150 years later. Q. Slave trade is the exact opposite of free market. Jon this isnt just the judges opinion theres articles, books, some by libertarians, confederate apologists its an industry, a school of thought. Did they teach history at this school . [laughter] because their facts are all bleep up, jon. [ laughter ] these people think lincoln started the civil war because the north was ready to kill to end slavery when the truth was the south was ready to die to keep slavery. You are welcome libertarians i just un bleep your facts. Jon that is kind of you. Ill enjoy the emails thanking you for that that i will receive. What about this idea that lincoln could have stopped slavery by buying all the slaves, buying them. Yeah, thats how the free market works. Yeah. When a product is bought up completely it just goes away. Its why mcdonalds motto is 1,000 searched were out. Jon i didnt know that. [ laughter ] buyinging all the slaves wouldnt have been practical do you know how much it costs for one specimen that could work in your field and represent you in the snows a breeder. Q. What would you pay for such a versatile young buck, jon . [laughter] jon this is very uncomfortable for me. Because we should never buy people. Jon right. Thats what i meant. Thats what i meant. Thats why it was uncomfortable. [cheers and applause] the problem here is napolitanos economic argument considers people as though they are property. The same people who feel the civil war was too high a price have no problem shedding american blood for a more worthy cause. The Founding Fathers risks as they like to tell us the lives, fortunes and sacred honors for the freedom and independence they won and we have inherited. So it was heroic to fight a war for the proposition that all men are created equal but when theres a war to enforce its whack . Theres something not right when you feel the only black thing worth fighting for is tea. But i get it its a good war because its about taxations. Taxation has become theft in america and our sheep like acceptance of it seems to avoid the moral issue of government take property from us against our will. You think its immoral for the government to reach into your pocket, rip your money away from its own home, claim it from as its own property, money that used to enjoy unfettered freedom is conscripted to do whatever its new owner tells it to. I know this is a leap, but you know that sadness and rage you feel about your money . Thats the way some of us feel about people. Jon thank you very much. [cheers and applause] [ male announcer ] this is it. The big bang of light beers. The one that started it all. 96 of the hardest working calories in the business. And for a limited time, miller lite is back in the original light can. Ive been claritin clear for 7 days. 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Where castles were houses and valiant knights stood watch. For the kingdom was vast, and monsters lurked in the deep, and the good queen showed the boy it could all be real. Avo all of great britain, all in one place. Book on expedia before march 16th and save up to thirty percent. [cheers and applause] jon welcome back my guest tonight an author. His book is quawld the ministry of guidance invites you not to stay. An American Family in iran. Please welcome back to the show hooman majd. [cheers and applause] im going to get this down. All right. Jon im sorry the ministry of guidance invites you to not stay. Thats right. Jon its even in red and i screwed it up. How are you, sir . Im well, yourself. Jon its nice to see you. You spent a year living with your wife and young child. You moved back to iran for a year. That was the idea. Jon was it to research for the book. Was that the premises of it . Partly. I had a desire to reconnect or to connect, because i never lived as a child, with iranian culture and iran. I didnt pick the best time to do it. Jon when were you there . 2011. Jon so when would be the best time . In our age group im not sure theres a best time but i think its better now. Jon with the rahani. A pragmatic president and somewhat reformist as compared to ak din jad who was who was ahmedinejad who was completely crazy. A lot of social changes havent happened yet. Jon your wife is american . Where is she from . Wisconsin. Jon your child was what age . Less than a year old. Jon you said to your wife from wisconsin, hey, honey, i have this idea guess what [laughter] yes. Jon you know how you love, wisconsin . Lets move to iran. [ laughter ] Something Like that, yeah, yeah. Jon how did that go . Are you crazy . Jon she was upset. Not upset. Shes quite adventurous. She was like, okay if you think thats something you want to do, yeah, i can see trying that. I can see it. I can see living there for a while. Not forever but maybe for a while. Jon were ming around and joking. The crazy thing about it is iran is an incredibly artistic, eloquent, sew fis dated sophisticated, wonderful, the food is great society. The truth is it really is you are going to have a travel experience. Sort of, yeah. If you are not active politcally thats what it is. Theres a great headline in the web sites that said young iranians continue to shock the internet by actinging normal. [ laughter ] acting normal. [laughter] its a wonderful headline and its very true. They are very normal. I think, you know, if you are married to iranian or know them or have iranian friends you kind of know that. Its not such a big shock. It is hard to go to some place like iran which is in america viewed as the enemy. But it was more family members and friends who are like, are you crazy, why would you want to do this . Jon two things do you see the effects of a more oppressive regime . When we spy on our citizens we are very, very quiet about it. And nice about it. Jon we do it when you are not even on your computer. They are a little bit more bold. Overt, yes, yes. Jon what is that like . In some ways its better. In some ways its better because you know what is happening. Its assumed, i think that people in iran if you write an email. Its assumed and it was assumed a long time agoing it was going be read and if you said something publicly or journalist wrote something they didnt like it was assumed you would get into trouble. Here the lines lines are blurry. Jon a little blurry. What about this ministry of guidance and culture that will maybe knock on the door and say, hey man, are you having fun in there . And stop. [ laughter ] the ministry of guidance and culture takes care of journalists as well as culture and guidance. Its one of those orwellian sounding ministries. They are the ones ones who wered of responsible for someone like myself and my family in iran as a journalist as a writer trying to get a work permit, trying to work there which they wouldnt give me. And the suggestions that maybe you are not quite in keeping keg with islamic norms in many instances. They dont knock on your door but they give you hints. You can get phonecalls, yeah. Jon do they, for instance, what is their role in every day iranians lives. Lets say you want to have a wedding and want fermented substance at that wedding. You probably do want to but you wont. Its not the ministry of culture that would deal with that that would be the police. Jon they get around it, no . Life there live its in the ballpark thrives in the black markets. Absolutely. You wouldnt go to the ministry of guidance and say id like guidance. I know were an Islamic State but id like to serve a little bit of wine. The answer would be are you crazy. Jon when you come back and write Something Like this and you publish it and theyll see it, are you now now allowed to go back to iran . The iranian government cant stop me from going to iran. Jon i beg to differ. I know individuals that they have stopped. They can stop me from leaving. They cant stop me from going because i do have an iranian passport as well. He had Edward Snowden is not prevented from coming to america. He may be prevented from enjoying life here the same thing could happen jon weve just danced around everything bleep thing our countries do in some different ways. Somehow it comes back to iran. Jon when you came back do you feel like you reconnected what it means to be iranian to you . Ive been traveling back and fourth as a journalist and writer and when you see the people have to live or do live, whether they enjoy it or not on a daily basis, the struggles they go through. The hardships, the economy, the sanctions, regime, dealing with their own government and dealing with the things that they have to deal with on a daily basis you have a different kind of empathy for people and you recognize yourself in them and them in yourself if a way you dont if you are just visiting for a short time. I do feel that. If only the two countries could all write books about each other. [ laughter ] that would be somewhat impractical wouldnt it . Probably, yeah. Jon luckily did he it for us. The ministry of guidance invites to you to not stay. Vo whatever trip youre imagining, on expedia you can book any flight, car and hotel together to save even more. Plus, get an extra 100 when you build your custom trip. Expedia, find yours. Are you up for whatever happens next . [ male announcer ] see ians full night at upforwhatever. Com. [ male announcer ] see ians full night transferred money from his before larry instantly bank of america savings account to his merrill edge retirement account. Before he opened his first hot chocolate stand calling winter an underserved season. And before he quit his friends leafraking business for not offering a 401k. Larry knew the importance of preparing for retirement. Thats why when the time came he counted on merrill edge to streamline his investing and help him plan for the road ahead. Thats the power of streamlined connections. Thats merrill edge and bank of america. You raise her spirits. We tackled your shoulder pain. You make him rookie of the year. We took care of your cold symptoms. You take him on an adventure. Tylenol® has been the number 1 doctor recommended brand of pain reliever for over 20 years. But for everything we do, we know you do so much more. Tylenol®. Everything looking good. Velocity 1,200 feet per second. [ man 2 ] youre looking great to us, eagle. 2,000 feet. Still looking very good. 1,400 feet. [ male announcer ] a funny thing happens when you shoot for the moon. Ahh, thats affirmative. [ male announcer ] you get there. Youre a go for landing, over. [ male announcer ] the all new cadillac cts, the 2014 motor trend car of the year. Jon thats our show. Here it is your moment of zen. Thats really very good. Id like to try it just one more time and well call it a day. I met her on a monday and my heart stood still the do run stephen tonight the winter limb picks in sochi have ended, although with nbcs tape delay, theyre just beginning. Then is it ukraine or the ukraine. Ill get to the the bottom of it. And my guest ledge enary singer darlene love stars in a documentary called 20 feet from stardom, tonight shell be 16 feet closer. Major League Baseball he is eliminating home plate collisions. Apparently they violate baseballs longstanding ban on action. This is the colbert