Because youre causing the apocalypse, theyre not real friends, are they . Mom im going to count to three. One. Two. [sighs] fine whatever sorry, guys, my mom is being lame. Well do this later, like after she dies on august 30, 2042. Im proud of you, son. I gotta go, mom. I kinda belong down there. My little babys all grown up. See you in hell, ma. See you in hell, son. [growls] the apocalypse is over were saved [all cheering] but wheres woody and malloy . This next exhibit was found in the ancient ruins of brickleberry park. These three people and a small bear were covered by lava when a volcano erupted while they were having what appears to be a gay orgy. The brickleberry fourway is all we know about what life was like in the 21st century. Hmm. It must have been a paradise. We believe it was. We believe it was. Ow captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. Thank you for joining us. Our guests tonight shall were excited about this from the hill aruous Television Program key and peele, we have keele and pee on the show tonight. Chors plaus. Jon lucky was farsd, man, those dudes are funny. If you are anything like me, you cant digest milkment but also laughter you watch a lot of television news. And if you do you might have noticed the question that is increasingly on the med whys mind. Was this racist . An Alabama Sorority accused of rejecting a candidate because shes black. To smear an entire segment of the population, are they racist . Race, is race an issue here . Was race a factor . Are you racist . Am i a racist . laughter jon never ask a question you dont know the answer to. laughter the media they are just askinging they dont know. Everything is happening, they are just passengers on this crazy bus called news. laughter fear not, for tonight we settle the investigationing questions with our brandnew segment, racist or not racist . Jessica william, jason jones, aasif manned very. Thank you for joining us. We are very excited about this segment. Its a beautiful segment, a big segment. Okay, well, first of all that is one weak segment title. laughter jon you have a better title. Yeah, of course i do. Jon okay. Welcome to straight trippers or we cool. Jon isnt that title racist. Oh, yes, definitely, but not if i say it. Jon all right, lets go on to our first story if we k we will start this is an easy one if you want, easy one. Halloween is over but its controversy surrounding a costume is continuing after a boy dressed as a member of the ku klux klan. Jon okay, remember were starting fresh. Panel wa, do you think opinions racist. I want to say adorable. laughter that is racist, jon. What are you guying talking about. He looks like a pointy ghost. What . Okay, fine, racist but adorable racist. All right. Were going move on to the story, slightly more difficult. This is difficult. White republican from texas came up with an unorthodox strategy to appeal to a mostly black democratic voting districtment he just simply implied that he was black as well. Jon white republican, black voting district. Said he was black implied heheas blacks racist, not racist . Im going to need a little bit more info on this one, jon. Like how did he imply that he was black . Jon i know, maybe he indicated he jon, jon you dont even know what i was going to say. Dont i know, dont i know what you were going to say. Okay, fine, you probably do. Actually, i think we do v if i may, we have a little more info. Here is one of the candidate dave wilsons radio ads. This is killing the hopes and dreams of our chrn. I have had about enough of him. What are we going to do . Im voting for dave wilson. Jon and heres dave wilson. laughter panel . Racist. Smart but racist. Jon jason jones. Im going to go with creative. I think its hilarious but its totally racist. Jon okay right, big surprise there. Excuse me . Jon you know, because you know, you are what . Im what . Jon no, no because es what, what am i. Jon because hes not all im saying it would be nice if we could get some impartial judges in here. Jon let me just say this, no, no, no. You feel like youre not in a power position, i understand that. Lets get some other judges in here. I think that might help. Seriously that would help me out a lot. Jon please welcome key and peele. Key and peele . cheers and applause i think we can do this now. Jon, their not impartial. What are you talking about, were both mixed race. It literally doesnt get any more impartial than that. Come on, you are both youre both whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, racist, right there, racist. Jon can we just stay focused. A couple more, a Washington Post columnist named Richard Cohen who recently defended the tea party against charges of racism by suggesting that the country is just changing faster than they can adapt. Which he phrased thusly. People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor elect of new york, a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. Jon yes. That guy is straight up racist. Hes a volcano of hate. Against white people. Jon wait, what . Hes giving quite people no credit. Basically hes saying hey, you got to cut the tea party some slack because they cant think straight because they are trying too hard not to vomit when they see a black guy with a white girl, right . Or maybe two white girls. Yeah, three. laughter or like you know three white girls and an asian. Oh yeah, what is he doingment hes just chillin it, at first. Jon guys, listen, panel. Why is the guy chillin at first. Why is the asian guy, hes just checking the scene out. I understand he is plotting what he is going to do. What is he going to hit first. Jon that came very naturally to you guy, fant see, very nice. All right, lets move on to our final example. Sarah palin. Racist. Racist. Racist. Jon hold on hold on just hold on a second cheers and applause let me show the clip. You feel very passionate about the news the other day you gave a speech in which you compared it to slavery. Yes, there is another definition of slavery. And that is being beholden to some kind of laughter that is master that is not of your choosing. Yes, the National Debt will be like slavery when the note comes due. laughter jon okay, all right, spoke too soon. Not racist. Yeah just stupid. More onic. cheers and applause jon thank you so much. Everybody, racistst not a racist, well be right back after this. V v jon i have very good news. As of today new yorks new mayor isnt the only thing about new york city that is freakishly tall. Its official now. The new World Trade Center building in new york city is now the tallest skyscraper in the country. Jon whooo when we do it, we do it big in celebration. Of course, with the but still tallest building in america. And we werent always sure it would happen. An International Panel of architects ruled that the needle atop one World Trade Center is a spire, not just an antenna and is thus a permanent part of the building. Its the spire on top that makes it the tallest building in the United States. Jon oh yeah laughter spire on top. Of course obviously the only concern with having a spire like that on top of a new york skyscraper is keeping stripper king kong off of it. laughter putting himself through giant ape college. Now i suppose that because were now number one, urtly unfortunately, somebody else has to be number two. The top chicago the sears tower which held the title for four decades. I think this is less about the competition of the cities this time because of the significance of this building. Jon you know, popi, i couldnt agree more. The World Trade Center brings all americans together. What kind of an [bleep] would see this as a competition. To all the experts are gathered in one room. If it looks like an antenna, acts like an antenna, then guess what it is an antenna. Node this wonderful sunny day in chicago are you standing in the tallest occupied spot in a building that you can stand in north america. And that will continue to be the case regardless of the decision made by the council. laughter jon what you talking about willis tower. What you applause fine, fine well take tallest building in the United States and you can have tallest occupied spot in a building you can stand in north america. laughter you know what, chicago, what are you so mad been. We already gave you guys murder capitol of the United States. You really think shall you really think we cant kill more people than you . laughter please. We let you win. Come on. Lets not do this. Theyre both great buildings, both great city, i love chi, you know what, lets have a toast. A little toast to new york and chicago. Well have oh, a little ger trude bertram did we really is this real . Oh. I think it would be ginger ale but its not. A toast to peace between new york and chicago. While new york city won today, its no contest which city takes the cake when it comes to, well, just about everything else. Deep dish pizza is quite good laughter cheers and applause jon okay. I was gonea be nice. But now youve gone too far. Let me explain something. Deep dish pizza is not only not better than new york pizza, its not pizza. cheers and applause jon its a [bleep] casserole. laughter im surprised you havent thought to complete your deep dish pizza by putting some canned onion rings on top of it. Its a corn bread business the question which you melted cheese on and then in defines of god and man and all things holy you poured mar nara sauce atop the cheese, atop, the cheese, on top, the sauce, naked, on display like some sort of sauce whore. You know the expression there is no such thing as bad sex or bad pizza. Your pizza is like sex with a corps made of sand paper. Let me tell you something this is not pizza this is tomato soup in a bread bowl. This is an aboveground marinara Swimming Pool for a rat. Let me tell you something about your [bleep] not pizza i want to know when i get drunk and pass out on my pizza that i am not going to drown. Let me tell you something i look at this cheers and applause jon i look at this, you son of a bitch, i look at this all right, well give you a deep dish pizza, i dont know whether to eat it or throw a coin in it and make a wish. And if i made a wish it would be that i wish for some real [bleep] pizza now, now cheers and applause with all due respect i realize its very cold in chicago, very cold. Its windy, you need to be able to i dont know, have a pizza and maybe cut it open and climb inside it to keep warm. Seriously, who are you kidding . Who uses an iron skill et to make a pizza . You dont use an iron skill et to make a pizza. You use it to fend off someone who tries to serve you a [bleep] pizza made with an iron skill et. Heres how i know im right. You call it chicago style pizza. You call it deep dish pizza, stuffed pizza. You know what we call it, uh . You know what we call this . You know what we call this . Pizza cheers and applause oh, thats nice. And by the way, you dont put tomato and celery on hot dogs either. Everybody knows there are three acceptable kondziments, onions, and cheers and applause welcome back. My guest tonight, the stars of key and peele. I just got this letter from an Insurance Company that looks like we are officially on the same insurance. What yes. Tell me we did it. We got dental. Im going to get a rudy filling and a tammy, tammy, tammy, tammy. I just the insurance is only for real medical problems and even then we have a deductible. Im going to deduct the fat from my ass and put them on my so i look like mickey mouse. All right, listen. Jon key and peele. cheers and applause thank you, guys. Thank you. Jon and by the way, thank you for earlier, these guy, let me tell you something about these two talented people. So they are busy people, we do you guys want to go out there and rehearse, no, were cool. They come out, they [bleep] nailed the thing. Thank you. Thank you. Easy to work there, that is fancy. We had to work that, fancy. Jon thats cool because i make up my stuff. Oh, right. Jon yeah. I dont sometimes they will have word and i8s be like no. You like to go with no net. Jon thats what im talking about. No net. Jon actually gi with phonetics. What is it, four years now, is this the Fourth Season. Third season Fourth Season just got announced. Wreree going to do a Fourth Season. Im already in there. Hes written half the season already. Jon you brought the improv. Second city over here. Second city i was in amsterdam doing boom chicago which you probably havent heard of. Jon i have heard of amsterdam. But boom chicago, what is that . It was a blur. It is a chicago style comedy theatre in amsterdam deep dish comedy. Yup. I was told that here you guys just do comedy. Jon we just call it comedy. How did so dow add mad tv how did it come aboutness we met in chicago, second city. Yeah, his group from amsterdam came to chicago. And they were performing there and thats where we met. One of the writers on our show introdusd us. And then it was just like a nerdout session. Jon it was really. Immediately you thought oh, i like this guy. I can work with this guy. It was an absolute male crush. Uhhuh. We went to a diner, just three and a half hours. Talking about monty python and other funny things. But it was great. And then serendipitously ended up on mad tv together. Jon that wasnt, i thought that is maybe where you no, we met before that. Jon and is that where the plans were much had because the sketch, what i love about the show is its always surprising. Theres always, you set up a premise but you take it in a different direction. Its so well done. Thanks. Jon you should be very proud. We really are. We have a great staff. Jon i heard your staff is to good. The staff is not good. Jon i hearded show is good but the staff is very, very bad, very bad. Drain on the resource. Thats the advantage of doing a sketch show is you get to do different, its a hollo dex to be perfectly nerdy. Jon at what pint in the diner conversation dow throw out the word hollodex. Two hours in, i dont want to throw it out materialee this time. You have to gauge someone. Are they ready for a straight star trek reference. I think was less than 9 o 90 minutes in, before that reference came i believe this happened. It was like next generation . laughter jon is it probing you. Uhhuh. Jon so ever one of these, like star wars, star trek, that was already settled that it would be star trek. Do we even know, i mean were clearly see thats the wa way thats. Jon i love key and peele broke off. The end came quickly. Right here. Jon star wars trek. We have a star wars theme this year. I just said it. Kandellorisian. Jon you say you like the twist. We have a landeau clarisian. Jon people do you do a hilarious president anger translator. Has the president , do you ever from them, the president go up and go gentlemen, im not that angry. Is there anything we met him. We got to meet him which im sure you have many times. Jon i have met him a couple of times on the show. And he always has never spoke tone me off air. laughter jon i will be like thank you mr. President. Im out. He stiff arms so. First of all he said i had to this cavalcade that took him around, a bunch of quite guys, he goes very nice meeting you and he comes and gives us bro hugs. He got rit in there and we were like i hope theres not a red dot on my forehead. Hes and then the real awesome he said its anger translator, he goes, you know, i need luther, i need him. First thing out of his mouth. So it literally con termed what we were writing. Because we thought that is never going to happen. He was great, it was great. Superfunny guy. Jon thats wonderful. It was cool. Jon did you ever say like you shouldnt watch so much tv . laughter you should be doing other things. I love it, so nice to you have on the show. It just s great, max hes me laugh every time. An honor. Jon key and peele on wednesdays. Comedy centrals. Jordan peele, its great h i e]c ev ,x 1 ,x0000 jon thats our show, here it is, our moment of zen. When it came to appearances, superficial things that the men dont ever seem to hear much about. But a woman candidate will. Governor christie cares captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by Comedy Central stephen tonight, the president does damage control on obamacare. If you like your burst appendix, you can keep it. laughter then scandal surrounds a popular clothing line. Apparently spanx is not an invitation. And my guest, Steve Mcqueen is director of the film 12 years a slave. Its the harrowing story of a nonsuperhero movie being made in hollywood. laughter butterball warns there may be a turkey shortage. Apparently they were caught off guard by this whole thanksgiving thing. laughter this is the colbert report. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central theme song playing cheers and applause cheers and applause audience chanting stephen . Stephen not bad, not bad welcome to the report, everybody, good to have you with us. Thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen. Folks, tonight folks, thank you. I i thank you. I thank you for your honoring of me tonight but, folks, ive got to tell you please, sit down. cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, as much folks, as much as i love you