Hes also where we begin tonight. What has senator paul been up to . Senator rand paul of kentucky heads to iowa. He has planned to visit South Carolina and nevada. Tomorrow he headlines a g. O. P. Dinner new hampshire. I know rand paul, i think hell run in 2016. What stands between the paul dynasty and 2016 . Well, ill tell you the first thing that stands between them, three bleep ing years laughter thats over 50 new iphones from now. laughter why are we talking about this election . That brings us to yet another installment of cant you at least wait until jon stewart comes back . laughter seriously this is my last week doing this its not just that the media is already ramping up their 2016 coverage, its this some of them are already trying to wind it down. I predict the hard right is going to take over the Republican Party in 2016 and the nomination is going to rand paul. You watch. This is what i do for a living. Jon ooh laughter really . Because all this time i thought you were paid to spit on a camera lens. laughter but, look, if making sound predictions is what Chris Matthews does for a living then he may have a bit of a problem because finding soundbites of people saying things that directly contradict the claim theyve just made, thats what we do for a living. cheers and applause so off the top of my head, who did Chris Matthews see going all the way to the white house in 2008 . Let me ask you about Rudy Giuliani. I believe hes not only running, i think hes going to win this whole thing come around the next election. Jon thats right, yeah. You remember him . Current president Rudy Giuliani . laughter you remember the formidable contender in the 2008 election who won in the primaries only one more delegate than i did. laughter but look, lets be fair. That was a whole president ial election ago. Everyone is allowed a mulligan and matthews made up for that by completely nailing his prediction for who would win the republican primaries in 2012. You watch bachmann. Shes got the action this time. She stands for something shes going all the way. Shes going to win this thing. Really . I tell you right now. I predict she beats trump. John its what he does for a living. laughter is he a psychic or a time traveler . Either way, we must burn him as a witch. Chris matthews doesnt just routinely have egg on his face, he has a chicken cop ago squat over his face, laying an egg between his eyes, bleep ing on that egg, punting the egg and then rubbing it all over his face. applause look, america, america, look at me. Our elections do not need to take as long as they currently do. There is another way. And the proof of that have is right under your feet through several layers across the mud, australia. Prime minister kevin rudd has put an end to weeks of speculation, hes called an election for september 7. John the whole election season is just one month long. Four weeks thats like only three new iphones from now laughter you know what that means . We need to launch our full coverage of downundercision 2013. laughter as an australian thats not a campaign, this is a campaign brought to you by koalas. Koalas, like if teddy bears were alive and surprisingly aggressive. Koalas. Australia might have something to teach us when it comes to democracy starting with this in australia, they have a compulsory Voting System so everyone is required to register to vote and to turn out to vote and if they dont theyre fined. Thats right, its illegal not to vote there. They spend a huge amount of time and energy getting people to the polls rather than spending time, energy, and a Supreme Court decision preventing them. laughter but you might think, hold on, john, if our elections were just four weeks we wouldnt have all the fun of watching the human gaffer launches on the campaign trail. laughter heres the thing youre wrong. Name a Great Campaign moment and australia will get to it this month. Aunt clumsy oncamera prattful by a candidate . Check. One of their favorite past times during campaigns is to kiss babies and he tried to do that yesterday, he went in for the kiss but at the last minute the mother turned away and he ended up putting his lips on the back of the mothers head. It was a crazy moment. Jon oh yes, yes thats a creepy moment. Kissing the back of a womans head. But ask yourself this is it really any creepier than a stranger pressing his lips against the head of a nonconsenting baby . Because that actually seems just as creepy to me. Its not just physical slipups, its also verbal atrocities. Like rick perrys inability to name the third of the three departments he was going to eliminate. We all remember where we were when that happened. I was here, watching t. V. Thanking god for the existence of rick perry. laughter well, dont worry, australias got you covered there, too. Meet the liberal partys jaymes diaz and his sixpoint plan to stop illegal boat immigration. We have a plan, a sixpoint plan to make sure that we do stop the boats. Could you run through the six points . Well, i can run through the details of the points. The main thing is the six points. The six points are . Well one of the points is the key point will be stopping the boats. laughter john of course it is point one of his sixpoint stop the boat plan is naturally stop the boats. laughter and applause now, look, in america here in america the reporters probably would have left it there thinking job done, the man has been completely humiliated. In australia they only have one month of this electoral buffet so this reporter how should i put it he tossed another question on the barbie. What were the other five points . laughter well, look, it is under the labour party the other five points . Well, ive answered your question. Youve said stop the boats. You said there was a six point plan. What about the other five points . Well, we have a plan to stop the boats and ive answered that. No other points . laughter john help him somebody help him look, ill tell you, point two is this hey, everybody, oh, my god, look, a mouse riding a cat then you run away and if you think australia doesnt also make time to throw in a fun sexting sideshow allah Anthony Weiner a. K. A. Senior danger. Danger, danger cheers and applause if you think, that you are about to be very unpleasantly surprised. A queensland m. P. Caught up in a sexting scandal sent Text Messages containing lewd photographs of himself to his mistress including one of his penis in a glass of red wine. laughter and applause john that is disgusting you do not pair a penis with red wine laughter and applause you want something lighter, crisper to offset the nuttyer notes of the penis. laughter plus, its almost impossible to get red wine stains out of a penis. Believe me. laughter hes going to have to soak that thing in club soda for hours. laughter so in just four weeks australia already has a rick perry and an Anthony Weiner. Of course, the real test, does it have a right wing woman thrust into a National Political spotlight shes not only unprepared for but at times seems to barely comprehend. laughter what im asking is does australia have a snarp a mother accused of an antimuslim contamination scare at a Shopping Center will stand as a one nation candidate at next months election. I dont oppose islam as a country but i do feel that their laws should not be welcome here in australia. Less than 2 of australians follow haram. Or the koran as the islamic text is known. laughter john shes not just sarah palin, shes a turbo palin laughter that woman is stephanie bannister, not only does she think islamic law is called haram which is a misuse of a muslim term for simple behavior, she also thinks islam is a country. Perhaps in the mistaken belief that the nation of islam is an actual nation. as an australian they can dress however they like over there but as an australian i dont want to be forced to wear a bow tie. Or as we call in the australia, a twizzley choker. laughter bannister has set a new watermark, a new low watermark for electoral ignorance. Kosher food for jewish australians are fine. Jews under haram they have their own religion which follows jesus christ. Judaism rejects yes us is christ. Australia, you truly are a nation of criminals without was w that magnificent soundbite you just stole my heart laughter and applause that interview took place last week and theres been an Important Development since then. Stephanie bannister has now pulled out of the race. Shes like pure uncut palin. She quit a job she didnt even have yet you see, that is why the concept of a fourweek election is so attractive. It speeds everything up. Week one candidate announces. Week two she says something stupid. Week three shes smacked down by the press. Week four she withdraws. Week five there is no week five and nobody ever hears from her ever again we can have this, too, america if we all just agree not to say another bleep ing word about the 2016 election. Here, look, ive set an alarm clock here for 2016. When that goes off, everyone is allowed to go nuts. Until then, please pretend we dont give a bleep . Because deep down we really dont. Well be right back. ch appland appla xn,xhf cheers and applause john welcome back. Now, one of the challenges of this job is to engage the audience in something they have no inherent interest in. Thats going to be tough again tonight because sadly were about to talk about marijuana. cheers and applause grow up now not nerve the medical community is a big fan of it, but last thursday that may have changed thanks to americas favorite doctor not him laughter im talking about the real mcdreamy. Dr. Sanjay gupta changes his mind on weed. Sanjay, you were very critical of medical marijuana for a long time. Youve changed your mind. Tell us why. John whoo sanjay gupta getting on the mary jane train chief medical correspondent of the Cannabis News Network laughter smoking some weed with aaron burnout and wolf blitzher. Isanj, what changed your mind about the ganj . Weve been terribly and systematically misfled this country for some time. I took the d. E. A. At their word when they said its a schedule 1 substance and has no medical application. John wait, you took the Drug Enforcement agency at their board . Is there any other medical misinformation that you may still believe just because someone told you . You know you dont actually go blind from jacking it, right . laughter because i just found that out two weeks ago and its turned my life around. Anyway, dr. G. , please continue your report on weed whats next . A report on tasty money chis . Very early studies on mice have showing the potential of mare wan unanimous to kill cancer cells. Hes using marijuana to help him with the pain and nausea from chemotherapy. Residents leer using marijuana for pain, loss of appetite, parkinsons and dementia. laughter john oh, right, because marijuana has real medical benefits and can be prescribed by doctors. In fact, dispensaries sell different strengths to treat different problems and, on that note, if you want this drug and its medical benefits to be taken seriously how about adulting up the maze a little bit. That way a sick old man doesnt have to a quarter ounce of rainbow diesel funkadelic cheddar harmony. laughter just a suggestion. But i have to give cnn credit where its due. Sanjay gupta coped to his error, the weed special talked about the legitimate uses of marijuana and they answered the question that no one has been asking whats piers morgan like when hes high . Im going to make a shocking revelation here. I tried cannabis when i was a younger lad and ive also had to have vicodin when i broke some ribs falling off a segue in santa monica. I can tell you, it was the vicodin which i was prescribed by my doctor which gave me a massively higher high than the cannabis ever did. John okay, this is important. I would like to personally offer 10,000 in reward to anyone who can bring me footage of piers morgan falling off that segway. cheers and applause i mean it, neither vicodin nor marijuana nor the purist ecstasy can b b john welcome back, my guest tonight representing the great state of kentucky, his latest book out in paper back is called government bullies, how Everyday Americans are being harassed, abused and imprisoned by the feds. Please welcome back to the show senator rand paul applause senator, thank you for being with us this evening. Im not going to ask you if you are running for president because its the year 2013 so i dont care. I dont care. And the alarm clock has not gone off. John thats right, exactly. You know, im really excited to be on the john oliver show. Its great to have your own show. John you dont want to be excited about that. Thats your first lie. So instead laughter instead, lets talk about the Affordable Care act. You are for it or against it, i forget . laughter im afraid its going to be unaffordable and thiss the real problem. Im afraid everyone will pay a lot more for insurance and i think precisely the people it was intended to help it may well hurt because they may not be able to afford it because the president has mandated that the insurance cover so many things that i think it would be very expensive. John thats whats interesting to me. Because no one 40 votes against obamacare no one could accuse republicans of being in favor of this. Youve left all your contempt out on the field with this one. Yet why does it matter so much . Is it the man skate in is that what you have this kind of religious objection to . Well, the thing is, i think we all want more people to have health care. We all want more people to have insurance. But we think the opposite will happen. I tell people that theres always the in Washington People have good intentions and i dont really begrudge the democrats and i dont say their motives are bad, i just say that what they are trying to do the opposite will happen. And its kind of because we have this its i call it the dinosaur syndrome. We have a lot of politicians that have really small brains and really big hearts and they want to do whats right but i dont think its going to work. John right. And im not sitting across from a diplodonkus . Exactly right. Theres only certain politicians. John but youre always intellectually consistents when it comes to the banks. Let the banks fail, let the market correct itself. What is tens of millions of americans being uninsured if its not market failure . Well, the market has failed in health care but because of too much government not too little government. Ill give you two examples. Im an eye surgeon. In my practice there were two things that insurance didnt cover that the price went down every year lasik surgery to get rid of glasses went from 2,000 an eye to less than 500 an eye because of competition. Competition brings down prices. Contact lenses. I sold contact lenses at prices that walmart did not because i wanted to but because i had to compete. My patients went to walmart. So competition brings down prices. What happened in health care is we connected it to employment and what happened over time, deductibles got lower and low sore gould to the hospital and have heart surgery, your bill would be 100,000 and your mouthwash would cost 55 and youd go thats ridiculous. But you didnt have to pay it so you didnt care about the price and you didnt bring prices down because you didnt care about what the cost of things were. John as you say in your book youre a dissignable for Smaller Government but is there a part of health care where government should step in where business is not doing it . The businesses had decades of opportunity to ensure people and it has chosen not to. Well, no 85 of people have insurance. So 15 didnt. So what you need do is look at who are the 15 and why dont they have insurance . Of the 15 who didnt have insurance, half of them made more than 50,000. Why didnt they buy insurance . Because of the expense. They were young, healthy people. So heres the problem. You have a young audience and you tell them oh, you must buy insurance but they say well, i make 30,000 a year but your insurance costs 15,000, hows the mandate going to work . Lets say theyre one of five employees for a small business, theres no insurance, how do they buy insurance if they make 30,000 and the insurance costs 15,000 . They need the opposite. They dont need low deductibles, they need high deductibles, they need insurance for catastrophes because young people unlikely to get ill, they need it for the rare occasion, not the everyday occasion. John how do you balance out the free markets goal to make money with the society goal to stop people from dying . Because those two things are often at odds. Well, the thing is, you have to ask yourself what distributes the most amount of goods at the cheapest price . And thats voluntary exchange. So, for example, Everybody Needs bread. You need bread and water just as much as you need health care, if not more. So in the soviet union they said theyd give bread to everyone and they would set the price of bread. But they would set it at 80 cents a loaf and the market would say its a dollar and thered be no bread. The store shelves would be empty so really the allocation, the central allocation by central authorities deciding how to distribute health care is an inefficient way. Give you an example youve been to britain . laughter youve been there. John im never going back, ill tell you that i like it here you know why . Because youll wait in line. No, thats not why. laughter that is genuinely not why. If i get sick, ill get on a plane and go back because theyll take care of me. They probably will and i thinks special coverage for Mental Illness as well over there. laughter john well played. Well played. So that session went a little bit long. If you want to see the rest captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org cheers and applause jon thats our show, join us tomorrow night at 11 00, he