[cheers and appl captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon captioning sponsored by Comedy Central [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. [cheers and applause] thank you very much. Weve got a show for you tonight. Let me tell you something about tonight. Our guest tonight mike piazza, the greatest hitting catcher of all time all time [cheers and applause] yoga berra, the greatest of all time. His name in english means mike townsquare. [ laughter ] doesnt get any better from here, folks. [laughter] lower those expectations if you would. [ laughter ] listen an hour or so ago because i president obama wrapped up the first second term state of union address. Well bring you complete Team Coverage there tomorrow. [ laughter ] spoiler alert there the state of the union, you know, fine. [ laughter ] you know, cumsecumsa. Just this morning we were reminded about how these plea planned political events could be equipped. Evil threatens our very dem cinch after my interview with former Vice President dick cheney. Jon yeah you thought i was talking about north korea nuke test. No, no, no my brother. [ laughter ] its former Vice President and professional frown hoarder richard p. Cheney showed up on tv this morning. He doesnt have a new book, probably just promoting his new movie zero dark thirty. Feel good picture of year. Makes the dentist seen in marathon man look like a tickle fight. I give it four. Why are we wasting our bandwith on this guy. What he is doing killing time while he is having his house repix lated. You think this president is weakening america . Yes i, do. The Obama Administration if they were listening to you now as they will. I doubt it. [ laughter ] jon you know, its funny theres a saying every time dick cheney laughs, an angel gets stabbed in the bleep . [ laughter ] i dont think we have a visual for that but [laughter] sorry former Vice President you were criticizing. The administrations policies are terribly flawed. The president came to power with a world view that is fundamentally different. The president has made choices in part based on people who wont argue with him. He wanted to reduce u. S. Influence in the world. He wanted to take us down a peg. Jon cheney is confident in his opinions and analysis i guess by forgetting that he sucked at this. Like he was the bleep . Even if obama wanted to take our standing in the world down a peg, i couldnt because the Bush Administration left him with no peg room. He could have invested in deep sea peg Hole Drilling Technology but unfortunately he cant afford to because the Previous Administration left us in a bit of a cash crunch and by Previous Administration i mean these bleep . Here is what i want to know where with the confident criticism in the thing where he did get the balls and please dont say cadavers. Remember this, mr. Vice president . Theres no doubt that Saddam Hussein has weapons of mass destruction. Jon not only there are there no jobs there were no weapons. Well be greeted as liberators. Jon we were not. I think they are in the last throes of the insurgency. Jon turns out the beginning to the middle of throes. Theres quite a few throes. They were pretty much the chief export after that. This guy was wrong every time, every time he analyzed it he was wrong. You try that at work and see if you keep your job and be wrong every bleep time. Theres no doubt you have ovarian cysts. Im a man, wa, wa. Theres no doubt. I am sure you need tires. Theres no doubt we have information that you need, wah, new tires, wah. Really because its a boat why would be listen to that guy . Back in the world that matters. Just hours ago seismic activity equivalent to a 4. 9 magnitude. Quake was detected in north korea. Jon oh, my god it knocked out power to the entire region. Thats incredible. Okay im told thats how it always looks ax apparently north korea doesnt have a lot of light. Anyway thats a pretty big earthquake there. I hope it wasnt near north Koreas Nuclear sites wait a minute. North korea set off a new underground nuclear test that happened today. Jon oh, no, pogasari has awoken. Its alive [laughter] you probably thinking, you know, jon, that genre of giant radioactive lizard monsters is really japanese, totally different culture. Well take this it was a north korea lizard. And it somehow came in contact with blood and grew. Laugh all you want but it made big wands in north koreaal. Its amazing what mandatory fill am tendance did do for the box office. Im sure the bomb isnt that technology logically advanced. The north koreas claim they did it a smaller device perhaps meaning they made progress in minimum tourizing Nuclear Weapons. Oh, no the bomb is smaller. Hold on jon that is supposed to care us. Even know minimum tourizing things makes them more adore yafnl mini snickers, mini horses, mini cooper. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] you know, i was thinking about the car but a mini Anderson Cooper is really i bet a ritz cracker would be a whole meal for them. He could cover massive snow storms. Report on the inauguration of americas first mouse president. Look at him. [ laughter ] what are we talking about here . Oh, north korea and their Nuclear Weapons. What could they do to us . Perhaps meaning that they have made progress in minimum tourizing Nuclear Weapons that could be put on the top of Ballistic Missiles that could ultimately threaten the united states. [laughter] jon bleep thats depressing. I wish i had something to cheer me up there. Is that mini Anderson Cooper eating a ritz cracker in a jon welcome back. When a news story falls through the cracks, lewis black covers it for a segment we call black in black back in black. The gun debate has been raging for a long time. Its hard to say when it started but im going to go with right around the invention of the gods. [cheers and applause] and everybody has an opinion including americas foremost experts on the subject, our celebrities. And they are chiming in from both the left and the right. Im a good neighbor, i have a nice clean borderline but if you cross it ill kill you. Note to self, cross old man nugents place off my girl scout cookie delivery list. Why are we asking random celebrities about this issue anyway when we should be asking more qualified people, our action heros. Sylvester stallone now supports a new federal assault weapons ban saying quote like really unless you are carrying out an assault, you cant hunt with it who is going to attack your house an expletive army. A what army . A bleep army, an asswipe army . Is it a penis army . [laughter] because if a penis army is attacking my house, i want to know. Trust me, i know all their weak spots. [laughter] [cheers and applause] but kudos to stallone for speaking out against guns, and by the way dont miss his new movie bullet to the head in theaters now. Its like rhinestone but with bullets to the head. But Sylvester Stallone isnt the only actor promoting a new movie who has views on gun control. I think that you cant start to pick apart any of anything out of the bill of rights without thinking that its all going be become undone. If you take one out or change one law then why wouldnt they take all your rights away from you. Right, in the same way if you take away die hard 2, die hard 3 is just a confusing series of explosives. So thats one for, one against, any other action stars want to step up and settle this . Hi, im chuck norris a black belt pate rovment if some thug breaks into my home, can i use any roundhouse kick but i prefer to use the barrel of my gun. Just to be clear according to chuck norris he could use the roundhouse kick to protect his own but he prefers to shoot a man in the face. By the way, chuck, you are 72 years old. At this point the most lethal part of the roundhouse kick is the fart that comes out when you lift your leg. [laughter] how did chuck norris sneak into this debate anyway . Can we go any further down on the action star food chain . Right now we have armed guns at Jewelry Stores and all kinds of other establishments that have money. But the greatest treasure we have is our children. I never thought i would say this but Steven Seagals older, fatter israeli brother is right. [ laughter ] how does he suggest we save our children . Actor Steven Seagal is a trained weapons expert and Law Enforcement veteran of 20 years. Today he helped Sheriff Joe Arpaio and the Maricopa County swat team train volunteer posse members to take down an active gunman in a sim lighted shooting. Steven seagal, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, an untrained posse, what could go right . I suppose everybody is entitled to their opinion but in the end they are doing what entertainers do best, providing us with a pleasant distraction from the fact that our actual lawmakers arent doing bleep about this problem. [cheers and applause] in the meantime, if some thug breaks into my house, im going to deal with it the same way i always do, by hiding under my covers and pretending i dont speak english. [cheers and applause] jon welcome back my guest tonight 12time all Star Major League baseball player and most home runs by a catcher. His new book is called long shot. Please welcome to the program mike piazza. [cheers and applause] have a seat, my man. [cheers and applause] thank you. Jon how are you . Good. Jon congratulations on everything. Thank you. Jon including the book long shot. Here is what you dont realize he was not a sure shot for the major leagues. You were drafted what was your draft position . The 62 hnd round. 12 teams stopped drafting. [ laughter ] it wasnt a big pride booster coming in. Jon did you guess you were waiting by the phone and nothing range or you were, you knew it wasnt going to happen. You were going to get a tryout. I got a telegram three days after the draft. Jon really . Oh, by the way it was selected. Believe it or not i was elated but again, i realized at this time it was a big mountain climb. Jon not only do you climb it, more home runs than any catcher in him. 308 batting average. The best hitting catcher bar none in major league history. [cheers and applause] ridiculous. It was a great run. Jon and almost the more phenomenal aspect of it is that you did most of that or an all of lot of that as an new york met. [ laughter ] and as you and i both know, usually when you go to the mets, you break a femur, you get arrested. Jon your arm falls off. Its the thing. If you do go to the hall of fame, and i think you will go to the hall of fame. This is your first time being eligible and you got 50 are you going as a met or dodger . I would think the mets. [cheers and applause] i talk about that a lot. You know, i came up with the dodgers and i i was fortunate going to the Minor Leagues because of their tradition coached by roy campnella and don driesdale sandy cofax. His a lot of advantage coming up with the dodgers. Jon if you had come up with the mets you could have been coached by mookie, the mookster. He was actually good. Eddie martin could have thrown stuff your way. [laughter] nobody got in. No modern player got in because of steroid cloud. Now, you cant win with that. If you deny doing it nobody believes you and if you say you did it then everybody why write the book . I wrote the book because i think i had a really cool story. I felt like his to address it in the era i played in and i d. A lot of reaction was when the hall vote happened and no one going on they were like he has to talk about it and then i came out with the book and they are like what he is talking about it for. He has to say something. What is he doing this for . Needs the money. Jon ngo no, he didnt. Its not a money thing. Jon he had a good contract. I did. Jon did the guys know in that era was it ubiquitous. You said in the book greenies am fete means, create teen, a couple of protein shakes a lice of stuff. Everybody seemed to push including that point up to the point at least of legal yament. Did the guys know, was it an open secret of who was over that line . Not in my clubhouse. All the clubhouses i played in were pretty as far as the game goes pretty clean as far as rumors. If you put it in Historical Perspective the game was changing. Guys were really just lifting weights in general and getting bigger and going to the gym. When i first came up you dont lift weights youll get muscle bound. The swing will slow down. Guys bought bigger and realized you could hit home runs. Culturally it was changing. Once you saw the records compromised people were getting a little jon did you make a conscious choice. Did you make a conscious choice to say but i wont do was that conscious or never really not like people of course it was conscious. At the time it was like, when you hit the gym its funny like the i remember as a kid dynamic tension and i started lifting and realizing jon you and i both. I was on everything. Everything [laughter] it didnt do anything. Some guys bellies get on steroids, too. Jon is it texting . Do you understand it do you understand why some guys. Think about the contract you got. Do you understand why some guys do it . I obviously could understand why from a financial perspective but it does shall for me it was compromising the speg great of the game. At least Major League Baseball was able to address it. In this theyve been really proactive at being in the forefront. They have hgh testing this year. Jon unfortunately its still out there. This whole thing in florida with the steroids and a lot of guys getting caught up. As i tried to write the book sometimes being a professional athlete isnt a healthy life. You blow out knees, tear ligament. You weave in the and out of those, not just steroids, pain killers, obviously brett farve talked about that. Again, do you have to make a conscious effort toll really take care of yourself and not fall into the exserks you know. Jon people dont think about the long term consequences. Big contract little ses a contradiction. The book is called long shot. Its an interesting story. I dont get a vote in the hall of fame but i should and i vote you in no matter what. I dont care what happens