Stephen thats it for the report. Good night. [cheers and applause] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. Boy do we have one for you tonight. Were here live from the great city of tampa. No that was [cheers and applause] good memories. Just good memories. We have a great one for you tonight. Our guest fawzia koofi, an incredible woman, running to be president of afghanistan. You heard me right, woman, afghanistan, presidency. Very excited to be speaking to hemple incredible story. Were going to turn to one of our favorite nights of year. Hot off the presses one day old expanded coverage of last nights state of the Union Address. President barack obama hits the floor for some reason with republican congressman eric cantor in tow in no way making this seem like a charismatic star performer walking the red carpet with his agent. Baby doll we gotta move. Mario lopez has a satellite window we have to him. [laughter] [cheers and applause] im sore im sorry. Just sweat age bit. Im just going to, just going to get something to drink here. [laughter] just so thirsty i cant sorry. Should have drank something before the show. I dont know why i didnt think after this. Anyway its the state of union so as the late great ed koch would say, how we doing . A family with children making the minimum wage stills lives below the poverty. Theres communities where no matter how hard you work its virtually impossible to get ahead. Jon i mean who is running this bleep , right, people . Come on. He should get on this stuff oh, wait a minute. [ laughter ] for how long . But unfortunately the president continued paintedding his pick turf an america that sounded more like an applebees laden distoapic health escape. Today fewer than three in ten four year olds are enrolled a high quality preschool program. Structurally unsound bridges across the country. Jon wait, wait as thirsty as i am i dont know why i would be eating salt yeens. That is just going to make the problem worse. You were saying something about bridge . 70,000 structural deficient bridges across the country. Jon shouldnt you have led with that one . 70,000 structurally deficient. Shouldnt you just opened with that or broke into whatever programming was playing with an urgent message the night you found that out. Hey, everybody, this is president barack obama the bridges are death traps. For the next three hours im going to stand here and name bridges. The aa aaronson bridge, dont take the. Clock wipe. All the bridges in madison county. Clock wipe. The tappan zee. [ laughter ] seriously that thing is whoo god im so sorry, so thirsty im just going to im going to oh, no. Im so thirsty and i ate saltines and now im working out. Its never going to help my thirst, what am i going to do. Mr. President , you laid out the litany of woe that faces this nation. I believe its going to this is going to make a hell of a sorry. [cheers and applause] sorry. Not good. [laughter] three people liked that, 50 people got nauseous. [ laughter ] listen, barack obama, you laid out the terrible things in this country. I believe its spirit raising time and the power of what we can accomplish together with the government, through laws, initiative and administrative acts. No laws, no initiatives, no administrative acts will perfectly solve all the challenges ive outlined tonight. But we were never sent here to be perfect. Jon you are bleep killing me. You are killing me no one is expecting perfection just, you know, expecting that through coordinating effort we can lower the unsafe bridge count in this country. [ laughter ] to four figure territory. 9,000, 8,000. I get were not perfect. How do we start . Every day we should ask ourselves three questions as a nation. Jon all right, let me try. Stop me if youve heard this one before. Which of the 70,000 bridges are near my house . [laughter] number two, are the tunnels okay . [laughter] and number three, how did he meet their mother because if its Something Like in a bar or on a jdate im going be ano, id because i put eight years into this bleep . If they come out with i woke up and there she was, no. So my lips are just so its so hot in here. Im sweating and eating saltines. You would think as a veteran of Television Production i would know, but i dont. Got news for barack obama is even with the sorry state of affairs in this country oh, what youve never seen a show hosted by an aging french whore before . Prude, prisses, all of you. Dont judge me. I judge you. [ laughter ] when does this thing go off the rails . Anyone know . [laughter] the good news for barack obama is even with the sorry state after fairs in this country hes not going to do the heavy lifting by himself. He has a support of his democratic colleagues and whitman samplers of american heros. Heros, oh, god yeah, heros. Thats not going to help me because im still so thirsty. My favorite hero was desolene victor. We should follow the exam of a north miami woman named desolene victor. She was told the wait to vote might be six hours. Shes 102 years old. Jon thats the most adorable woman ive seen on the planet. Screw the cat token that woman should be the the new monopoly piece. Thats what i say. Anyway [laughter] liquid. Mmmmm, yes the state of the Union Address is a powerful bully pulpit where the presidene president has the opportunity to shape his message. Weve worked tirelessly to have a framework to guide our Counter Terrorism efforts. Throughout, we have kept congress fully informed jon no, congress has made formal requests for administrative documents on drone strikes at least 18 times since 2011. The administration is saying they kept congress fully informed. Thats like facebook telling me how much they care about my privacy. Really, facebook, how come my mom wound up seeing this . [laughter] yeah. What its for at that tobacco. [ laughter ] i just used it for marijuana. [ laughter ] how dysfunctional has our government become . A face of all the large Serious Problems listed by the president our ability to act remains small bore. Lets agree right here right now to keep the peoples government open and pay our bills on time. Jon thats not a bad idea. You just shouldnt have to say that to adults. You really shouldnt have to say that to anyone not coming out of prison. Guys if we wont get get our bleep together, repoe man is going to take florida. Lets do this. [cheers and applause] jon welcome back. Now, last night was the state of the union. The state of Union Rebuttal is move often handed to a rising party star. Whos star then according to tradition quickly falls following the state of the Union Rebuttal. Good evening and happy mardi gras. [laughter] [laughter] [whistling] [laughter] this jeers short straw went to marco rubio because hes a young dynamic legislator with bold ideas and a rhetorical flare and also because he is hispanic. Sorry is that cynical. You dont think the Republican Party would pander to hispanics that way. The time has come to pass comprehensive Immigration Reform. Now is the time to do it. Jon wow, there is senator john mccain up off his feet cheering comprehensive Immigration Reform. Im sure he is not doing that to pander to hispanic votes. How did he figure out how did he feel about that before he figured out they wouldnt win a National Election without that. We should be working on comprehensive immigration right now. [laughter] jon so weird as soon as they comprehensive Immigration Reform the floor fell and mccain even though he is standing and cheering cannot be seen. [ laughter ] it was on rubio to bring word of this accepting Republican Party. His performance was perhaps [speak spanish] and sudden it will story was the self deportation of marco rubios saliva from the inside of his mouth to the outside of his face. Dont wipe. You are only drawing attention not the spittle. This cant end well. Well as long as you dont noooo dont no oooo why . [laughter] i gotta say obama talked for an hour without such as a sip. May need a prompter but at least he doesnt need an iv bag. Few people know this but lost in last nights [laughter] yeah . [cheers and applause] we worked really hard on this whole thing. [ laughter ] at the end of the day were like oh, bleep what is the title. Throw that out. Argghh. [laughter] few people know this but lost in last nights hydration disaster was the fact that senator rubio actually gave a speech. The first nationally televised republican speech since mitt romney lost. The picture of barack obama did not match the barack obama most experienced. What lessons did the g. O. P. Learn . Ea accused us of wanting dirty water and dirty air and his favorite attack of all is that those of us who dont agree with hem only care about rich people. But any time the people opposes the president s agenda he and his allies respond by falsely attacking his motives. Jon s its so hurtful. Its enough to mick a perspire. Im sorry, i mean glow. [ laughter ] yes, how all of it is to misrepresent your political opponents views and proposals. Anything you would care to add to that. Our Free Enterprise economy is the source of middle class prors expert but president obama prosperity, but president obama believes its the cause of problem. I hope the president loses the on seftion raising taxes and instead tonight would have been a good time to save medicare. Jon instead of why didnt he go out there and Say Something about medicare. Something what was that . Im medicare im prepared to enact reforms that will achieve the same amount of Health Care Savings by the beginning of the next decade as those proposed by the bipartisan Simpson Bowles commission. Jon i see the problem, once again rather than responding responding to actual obama, republicans are stuck responding to the fictional image of obama they created. The smaim boilerplate republican talking points but just with a better backstory. More government isnt going to help you get ahead. Its going to hold you back. More government isnt going to create more opportunities. Its going to limit them. Jon cue the same republican in the same speech trying to limit your access to federal help that managed to help him and not hold him back. I believe in financial aid. I couldnt have gone to College Without it. Medicare is important to me. Its the same medicare my mother receives right now. Jon but i point is bleep it. [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] because i dont know it makes you dependent. What are you going to do . Republicans little tip, as you are feeling around for a new Party Strategy if paul r[cheers] jon welcome back. My guest tonight, shes afghanistans first female Parliament Speaker and plans to run for president of afghanistan in 2014. Her book is called the favored daughter one womans fight to lead afghanistan to the future. Please welcome to the program fawzia koofi. [cheers and applause] hello. Thank you for coming. [cheers and applause] nice to see you. [cheers and applause] you know, we get a lot of people on this show and they are all very nice. But your story is so astonishing and so inspiring that i am embarrassed. It begins with your birth and your mother feeling like because you are a girl, you are not worthy, and they leave you to die. And yet here you are running for president of afghanistan. How [cheers and applause] its humbling and walk us through just a little bit of that journey. Its true. Actually my story is a part of many afghanistan woman story but the fact that i made it for everyone to hear the life of an afghan woman is first of all i was educated. Because my mother as a womg suffered so much and she didnt want another woman to suffer as much as she suffered. She doesnt care so much when i was firstborn but she later in my life she gave me enough love and support when i went to school. But the life of afghan woman from the time she is born to the time shes married and goes to her, you know, husbands life and to the time her life finishes is full of struggle. Its changed though now. The type of struggle i had to do, my daughters dont have to do that. Its a generation change. I had to struggle to go to school and many members of my family wouldnt allow me to go to school. But my daughters have a choice to go to the best school in kabul and i think because of the social changes in afghanistan. Its hardly mesh yourable to be reported in media because its not measurable. With all the changes that has happened, i give myself all eligibility to run for president of afghanistan. Jon its tremendous. When you speak about the social change that has occurred over that generation, yet, your life remains in peril on a daily basis. The taliban has tried to assassinate you many different times. And you seem remarkably serene in the face after this kind of danger. Is that just something you have a faith that you believe this is your destiny this is what you must do even with the peril it puts you in . Its a choice. I could come to europe or u. S. And stay luxurious life like many other people in this world do or i could stay back in my country and try to contribute to a small change if i can. I have decided to go for the second option though its not easy. I feel as a woman if you become stronger politcally or socially you find more opponents. Theres people that want you not to be in this world. Theres been woman that i that i had to face insurgency face to face. They tried to kill me. I was under attack for half an hour. But still i you know i think afghanistan needs people who bring change for the people and i think again, i see myself part of the agent of change in afghanistan. And afghanistan is not only a country where you hear about war its a country full of values and perhaps you have seen it in one special. Jon absolutely. Its a relationship and value. That is the face of afghanistan i would like to demonstrate to the world which is not only a country that you dont nate to but a country that could be reliable in the world. The new generation is doing an enormously wonderful job trying to make sure that afghanistanco doesnt once again fall in the hands of extremism or radicalism. The fact that i was listening to president obamas state of the Union Address last night, its promising to see afghanistan is part of Foreign Policy but on the other hand, troop withdrawal is controversial issue and in afghanistan theres concern of what is going to happen with the pursuing of the peace process. Theres hopes and concerns as well. I want to be part of hope for my country. I know there are challenges and one day i might be assassinated but its a choice i made for myself. Jon inspiring one and incredibly brave one. Enough time well good to commercial and well talk more about the complexities ant dueality of living in afghanistan and the difficulty as you go through there. Very, very nice to have you on the show. Fawzia koofi, the favored daughter. eejvzzewe <