Dumb bitch. Montrel decided to turn his life around, and he applied for several jobs. Ten minutes later, he used the applications to roll joints and fell asleep on the couch, like a real nigga. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor thank you so much. Thank you, everybody. Welcome to daily show. Thank you for tuning in. Im trevor noah. My guest tonight from the hit fx show atlanta, Brian Tyree Henry is here, everybody. cheers and applause really excited for that. But first, but first, let me tell you about this thing that happened in japan. So, as a holiday publicity stunt, Dominos Pizza over there decided it was going to have reindeer deliver its pizzas. And it did not go so well. laughter . The company in japan launched the program last week. It had actual reindeer deliver pizza. It soon found, reindeer are not very good delivery drivers. The reindeer refused to stop at delivery spots. They shook the g. P. S. Off the antlers. They kept shaking the pieces from their pouches. Trevor oh, man. Did you see that reindeer shaking those boxes off. I bet santa is watching it like, oh, you bleep thought it looked easy. How about some credit up in this bitch. You know why i find this so funny is, just think of this. When do many people order Dominos Pizza . When theyre super high, right . laughter and then just imagine you open the door, and theres some kind of jacked up horse with antlers standing in front of you, and suddenly you have to make a choice do you freak out and then he knows youre high, or do you play it cool like nothings weird . laughter here you go, buddy. Merry christmas. laughter so the bad news is, dominos had to pull their delivery reindeer off the job. But the good news is that they have a great deal right now on a meat lovers special. Yes oh, no, no. Dont worry. Dont worry. Its not the reindeer. Its just all the cows and pigs you dont care about. But moving on, the holidays are right around the corner, and because crump is going to be president , santa cant come to america anymore because hes a flying immigrant with a beard. laughter applause and its so hard to get use to the fact that donald trump will be president , especially because he lost by 2. 5 million votes. But then, he won the Electoral College, which is all that matters. Its almost like being in a relationship. You know how in relationships quality time matters more than the quantity of time. Like you get into fights like, why are you so angry . I hung out with you all weekend. Shell be like, yeah, but you spent hours sleeping. Youre like, it was night and then all of a sudden it doesnt count. If youre like me, you probably thought on election day americans were going to the polls to elect a president. But if you did vote, your vote didnt go to clinton or trump or the best thirdparty candidate out there haram bay. He may be dead, my friends, but at least he knows where aleppo is. When people voted, they were actually voting for electors who are basically a bunch of locally appointed representatives who then vote on your behalf. Which, again, makes no sense to me. Thats like going to a deli but for some reason you cant order for yourself. Youre at the counter, hey, can i have a sandwich . And some guy is like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I got this. Hey, can he have a sandwich . laughter its a bizarre twist on an already bizarre system because there are two ways to pick a president. Theres giving it to the person with the most votes commonly known as democracy. And then theres how america does it. Were the only democracy in the world that doesnt count the popular vote. This is the second time in 16 years that the person coming into the white house has lost the popular vote. Under the Electoral College system, a candidate who wins the most votes gets all of that constituents electoral votes. A candidate with win millions of individual vote in a state like florida and still lose all that states electoral votes because they lost the popular vote there. Trevor now fthat sounded confusing, thats because it bleep is. The person with more votes should win. This is a weird system because no other country decides elections this way. Its even weird in america. You understand that. You dont elect mayors like this in america. You dont elect governors like this. You dont even elect idols like this. The presidency is the only office where for some reason you dont trust the popular vote. And by the way, this is not about trump. You know the system is broken because the person with more votes lost in two of the last five elections. Thats 40 . 40 . If a plumber told me that every time i flushed my toilets there would be a 40 chance bleep would spray back at me, id be like, maybe i need a new toilet. laughter but america is like, ive had this toilet for 200 years. Ill be fine. Ill be fine. Trump trump aahh that was horrible. All right, next election and you know what makes the system even worse . Even if you didnt vote for the candidate, you still end up voting for the can candidate. In most states, whoever wins the most votes takes all the electoral votes in whats called winner take all. In the vast majority of states you just need to win by one vote to get all the electoral votes in the state is there you see that . That makes so sense. The winner shouldnt get the losers votes. Can you mblg how bad the olympics would be if they gave the winner all the medals. That wouldnt be fun. Thats not fair, yeah, thats not fair. You love usain, but thats not fair. What about the russians . They took so many drugs to get there. Come on, you sane come on winner takes all, means in big states, even if a secondplace candidate gets millions of votes, the Electoral College dont give a bleep . So the nearly four Million People who voted for hillary in texas or the 2. 5 million who voted for trump in new york, they just dont count. Theyre like lines of dialogue in a fast and furious movie. Theyre there but they have no real value. laughter but like it or hate it, the Electoral College is here to stay. Its even written into the constitution. And for me, whenever theres a constitutional matter on the show, we turn to the original source. I dont been you, but whenever im in a constitutional crisis i open up my favorite app. Its called founding fathr. Hold on. Here we go. Who summons me from ye olde app store. Trevor thomas jefferson, this is trevor noah. I have a question. Okay, i know what youre going to say. Yes, chances are, you are descended from me. But all the moneys gone. Trevor no, no. No, mr. Jefferson, its not about that. Its about the Electoral College. Why does america need electors to pick a president . Why not just trust the popular vote . laughing trust the popular vote what a good joke. Now i see why this show does so well with millennials. You see, trevor, in my day, we didnt tally a popular vote for president. We believed the Common People were illinformed and couldnt be relied on to reject a populist demagogue so we devised electors to guarantee america never elected a dangerous charismatic lunatic. Trevor i dont know if that worked out. The Electoral College, americas handing the white house, because of them to a racist white guy instead of a more popular, more qualifieded woman. Sounds like its working perfectly. Whats the problem . Trevor well, i guess in your day look, the thing, is it disorts the vote. Voters dont get the power they should, and the candidates totally ignore everyone outside a few swing states. Its not a true democracy. You need to help us fix this. Oh, id be happy to help for another 99 cents. Trevor are you kidding me . You have inapp purchases . Well, solutions are a premium feature. And you get to unlock my summer outfit. Trevor i dont want to see your outfit. I want the solution, man. Its simple. Just amend the constitution. Trevor people have tried and failed more than 700 times to amend the Electoral College. It doesnt work because you need twothirds of the house and the senate and threequarters of the states. I know whats in the constitution, okay look, could we have given it a bit more thought some sure. But building a country from scratch is bleep hard have you ever tried to write something way feather i mean, people were yelling we were wearing wool pants hamilton wont stop rapping in the corner. So, yeah we botched some details. Sue me oh, you cant because im a ghost trevor whoa, whoa, mr. Jefferson, i didnt mean to upset you. Well, you know, you could make it up to me. Trevor oh, id be glad to. How do i make it up . Well that that thing you did last time with your hand. Trevor oh, you mean you mean this thing . Oh, yeah. laughs stop it stop it im going to bleep my pantaloons. Make sure you rate the app make sure you rate the app. Trevor well be right when you run your own restaurant, every night is opening night. Coors light. Whatever your mountain, climb on. Whoa, papa run, run, run, run, running run, run, run, run, running theres nothing in this life thats ever bringing me down she said dont you ever ever, ever run, run, run, run, running whoa, papa, run if there was any way to make the 10 any pizza carryout deal from pizza hut any easier or any better wed do it. But any way we slice it, youre free to choose any large pizza with any toppings, or any recipe like supreme or meat lovers on original pan crust. The 10 any pizza no one outpizzas the hut. 3,2,1. Lumiere, action fortified. Tored. Replenished. Emerge everyday with emergenc packed with b vitamins, antioxidants, electrolytes plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. Why not feel this good everyday . Emerge and see. Hersheys miniatures. We pour em we pass em we pick em delicious fun for everyone. Hersheys miniatures are mine, yours, our chocolate. cheers and applause . Trevor welcome back to daily show. The 2016 election was sort of like an episode of the walking dead. It was long, brutal, and it left us all feeling hopeless about humanity. So to let us know how hes coping, were joined by hasan minhaj. Hey, man. cheers and applause you know, ive bhn just as depressed as everyone else about all this trump stuff, mostly because, you know,. And people are like, hasan, how do you get through it . Ill tell you how. A little piece of magic i discovered on facebook. Wheel of fugative hello, everyone, im sheriff wayne ivy and youve watching wheel of fugative. Gl is that a real show . Yeah, its real. The Brevard CountySheriffs Department makes a game show about catching criminals. Dude, this beard is not a fashion choice. I havent had time to shave because ive been Binge Watching for the past week. Our weekly show where we give this wheel a spin, whatever fugitive it lands on, were going to ask our citizens to help find him. Lets see what this weeks suspect is. That looks like its going to be Joshua Roberts smith. Is who were going to look for this week. If you know where to find mr. Smith, please contact us by going to crime line. Yes this is so much fun trevor hasan, i dont know how i feel about this. We have to take Law Enforcement seriously. Dude, loosen up tell me you werent happy when the wheel didnt land on the black guy. laughter applause . Trevor im not going to lie, it was gripping. Im not going to lie. Im not going to lie. Like, if it was spinning, dont land on the black guy. I cant lie. Isnt it a relief ton wheels arent bias gld look i dont understand, i dont understand. Why dont the police try to catch all the criminals instead of just picking one per week. Dude you are ruining the game now, you guys are probably wondering what happens if youre a fugitive but you dont have a penis . Well, theyve got you covered. Its ladies night oh, hey, everybody, im sheriff wayne wifey of the Brevard CountySheriffs Office and we have a little din spin this week. Weve got ladies night. Yeah trevor im sorry, what did i just see . The most incredible show online. Trevor no, no, sorry, guys. Imagine if you were phoning the cops and youre in an exphrnlg they wont answer because theyre spinning a wheel. That is not a good thing to think of. I wouldnt mind. You know what they should add for season two, they should add a wheel of sentencing. Its like you exit a crime ask then its like, come on, come on, come on 20 fine 20 fine come on oh lethal injection for jaywalking. Trevor hasan, hasan, i dont like the idea that American Police forces arent taking their job seriously, man i just dont i would agree with you if criminals werent snitching on themselves. Let me show you my second favorite things online criminals breaking the law to get more followers. Because if youre going to go to jail, you might as well go viral. A raid at a huntsville home seen in a viral video ends in arrestarrests and seizures. It was a video that went viral, where huntsville teens were in it, wielding guns and it caused residents to be concerned. Wean two people were taken into custody. Well bring you updates as soon as they come in. You see cops dont even need to say, freeze anymore. They just need to play black beatle and the criminals will do it for them. By the way. Why is this one guy chilling in the middle of a shootout . Everyone is acting like theyre in a shootout, and this one guy is like, hey, man, im just going to lean against the car and think about my girl. I love the idea that gangsters are going to be doing social media challenges now. Isnt that amazing . Im little big here to do the ice bucket challenge because the only thing i love more than murder is helping people with a. L. S. Trevor im so confuse. Why would somebody post something to incriminate themselves. Two people have been arrested in the fight against wildfires. Police say Johnny Mullins admitted to starting a wildfire. They say mulins is a wannabe weatherman who started fires to gain followers and likes on facebook. All right, this one was unnecessary. Trevor thank you, thank you. Because if you want to get facebook likes, dont commit arson. Just do what everyone else does have a baby all right, look. If youve got to do your social crime on social media, eliminate your digital paper trail. Use snapchat like i did. Yo, whats up, new york city. Im buying drugs with my drug dealer dan. Whats up, dan . Dude, what the bleep are you doing . Cocaine. See snapchat the evidence disappears in 24 hours. Its not going to be there anymore. Trevor hasan, it didnt disappear you just showed that on tv. Does that mean im going viral. Trevor no, it probably means youre going to jail. Follow me on Instagram Hasan follow me on Instagram Hasan in jai ah, im in there as katie. Follow me on Instagram Hasan in jai ill call you later. Or. No i wont, ill text you, because what am i your dad . Dont stay out too late . Yea, just text me. Thank you, get home safe. This must be what Antonio Brown feels like when hes dancing in the end zone. Touchdown Antonio Brown [crowd cheering] this must be how lucas felt when he finally got katies number. Pepsi. vo its the holidays at verizon, and the best deals are on the best network. both yes vo with no surprise overages, you can use your data worry free and even carry over the data you dont use. And right now get four lines and 20 gigs for only 40 per line. And, just for the holidays, get the Samsung Galaxy s7 edge for only 15 per month. No tradein required. I love you in that, no, i love you in that. No, i love you in that vo hurry, these offers end soon. Get the best deals and the best network, only on verizon. This is how many people were born here. This is how many are named hiawatha kitty mcgee. This guy keeps the town dry. These guys would prefer it a little wet. This many are proud of what we make here. This is how many will go around bragging about it. This is our town. For 150 years, the home of jack daniels. If you cant get here, just look for one of our postcards. They look like this. The better the reward. Just look for one of our postcards. Coors light. Whatever your mountain, climb on. Trevor welcome back. My guest tonight plays paper boi on the critically acclaimed new show atlanta. Come on in, paper boi. What . No. Please, man. When was the last time you were nice to a girl you werent trying to smash . This morning. You are talking about your daughter, man. Thats gross. No, it would be gross if i was trying to smash. I dont want a handout. I want to manage you. Manage . You know where the word manage come from . Latin for hand. Probably, but im going to say no for the purpose of my argument. Manage comes from the word man. My name . Malcolm. Martin, you know what they did to him . They killed him . Didnt they kill malcolm, too . Trevor please welcome Brian Tyree Henry. cheers and applause trevor you are such a good actor, that i sing paper boi like its a real artist. I walk around paper boi, paper boi you should make that the new intro to the show. Trevor i should. I should. For a lot of people, the first time they see brian on screen is playing a rapper in atlanta. But you are a man who has traveled through multiple worlds. You studied at yale. You were well versed in the world of drama. I think it actually takes a lot of smarts to play a character like paper boi. You know, its really funny because when i got this part, i was like, i know i can play this part, man. I know who alfred is. I went to college in atlanta. I still have alfreds in my life, and it doesnt really change how people view me in the streets anyway. Trevor yeah. Like, its amazing if i put on a polo and a gold chain, and then i go up to them speaking the kings english, theyre like, wait, wait, wait. Hold on arent you supposed to be like this . Shouldnt you be that way . No, its what you sometimes put on me. I like wearing lids and throwing on Something Different eye like to throw off peoples expectations of what they think i am trevor thats really what atlanta is. For people who havent watched it, when you started watching atlanta, you think this is just a show about hiphop. I remember when atlanta was being previewed, when they were doing the previews for the agents and stuff, someone was in the room, and they were like, oh, is that, that new black show . Its a black show. It was talked about as Donald Glovers black show. It actually is. They were actually right, this time. Its a blackass show. And youre welcome. Like, about time. Like, for once. applause . Trevor but this is what i find fascinating you correct me if im wrong. Go ahead. Trevor it feels like in its specificity, in its blackness, it appeals to everybody. Well, heres the thing, we are in a time that we have to let people know that you dont know everything about all the people you think you know. Its so easy to put these labels and all these microaggressions on us when you have no idea or have walked in our shoes, and wouldnt want to walk in our shoes. You know what i mean . So it was like, why not do this show that is just in this universe of atlanta where we give you these stories of these characters but also, like, throw these absurdities in there. Yeah, in our universe theres an invisible car. How about that . How about our Justin Bieber is black . I remember thinking we are going to get so much hate mail. Like, people are going to be so pissed. I was like, actually, people are very accepting and understanding of, you know, what . This is what we wanted. This is what we needed. And to hear that from people, thats the thing that trips me out, we needed this show. We really needed it. Okay, weve still got stories for days. We can keep it going. Trevor ill tell you why i felt it touched my heart. It was because it was a story where for once it was a black show that wasnt being watered down right. Trevor to be a black show. Right. Trevor it wasnt a show that went, hey, were going to water this down, watered down acceptable version of blackness to get white viewers. Right. Trevor to appreciate this. Honestly, what i found in that is everyone who watches it, black or white, goes, this is real. There is a realness to the show you can feel. Yeah. Trevor even when youre playing alfred, what do you feel you share in common with alfred . Because i feel like you are almost one and the same. Yeah, ive slapped a lot of people with cash lately. laughter but, i mean, because the thing is we all are alfred. We all at some point in our lives have been this guy, where people have put these labels on us, where all we want to do is wake up and, like, you know, go through life following our dreemedz. And i just really wanted alfred to be represented, because its so easy to label him as a thug and label him as unintelligent, label him as just being a rabblerouser i just said rabblerouser. I wanted him to have so many more layers because usually the alfreds of the world do. I know what thats like. Trevor i have not watch aid tv show that can handle more themes in a tv show than atlanta does. Oh, trev. Trevor thank you for everything you do. Trevor good luck in all your ventures. You can check out atlanta on fx app as well as on itunes and amazon. Brian tyree henry, everybody. Well be right back. cheers and applause trevor thats our show for tonight. Here it is. Your moment of zen