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The rest of the world. The olympics where athletess push themselves to the limits while the rest of us sit at home on the couch judging them. Oh, i wouldnt have land like that, yeah. Your foot should always be straight. laughter and theres good news for the u. S. America won the first gold medal of the games. Ginny thrasher a rising softmore won the first gold medal more shooting. Trevor an american teenager won the first gold medal for shooting. Usually the news that starts with teen shooter doesnt usually end that well. Although americans winning for shooting is a little on the nose, like canada winning the gold medal for politely holding the door open for you. A little too obvious. The magic comes at the most unexpected moments. Egypt and italy playing beach volleyball. I dont know if you can guess which country is which con. Its like theyre playing strip volleyball and italy is getting their ass kicked. It is good to see good images comes out of brazil and the olympics. The public has been expecting a bleep show in the olympics. They have not disappointed. Australias coach pulled his swimmers from the pool after the water turned soupy. Trevor im sorry, the water turned soupy . Soupy is never a good word for anything, even for soup laughter thats not something you ever want to hear. Hows the chicken noodle today . Its soupy ill have the salad. Oh, and heres another word you dont want to hear at the olympics crimey. Jiu jitsu star jason lee was robbed by armed men in in uniform. What did you guys get up to yesterday . I got mugged. This blais is pleep. Trevor you dont get to blame brazil because your selfdefense let you doin. And you know what . This is the problem i have with martial arts. It was pretty cool until guns. Now it doesnt work anymore, its outdated. Heeia heeia heeia heeia is all my money and master card sure, you can have my apple watch as well what did you think of the jiu jitsu job . Street fighter reference was a little dated. Ill look at it. Hes really feeding the bit. Wont stop. Trevor you know i can hear you. Hes talking to himself. Hes definitely rattled. More importantly, i think the foreign accent is a little distracting, does the routine need that . Rory, i couldnt agree more. The im a South African is a little much. If i were trevor youre nowhere near trevor. Dont you bleep vacuums. Vacuum, singular. I never stray, at least while shes under warranty. Looks like hes headed to the desk now. Lets watch. Trevor all right, moving on. Now, everyone who is currently at the olympics is hoping to leave brazil with this thing, but everyone is afraid theyre actually going to leave with this thing. laughter now, in the past few month the zika infection rate in brazil has gone down but seems like thats because zika decided to take its act on the road. For the first time, evidence of zika spread by mosquitoes here in the u. S. There are now 17 cases locally transmitted of zika in south florida, includes at least 14 in miamis wynwood neighborhood. Trevor wow, you realize that number would have been higher if everyone in miami didnt know salsa because that dance is basically just rhythmically checking for mosquitoes. Thats all that is. Thats all that is. And now applause and now that zika set up shop in florida, the disease turned from a thirdworld issueo a firstworld problem and not in a hashtag kind of way. This is real. Politics and politicians are getting involved and its reminding us its not just mosquitoes that suck. Marco rubio tells politico that he does not believe a pregnant woman infected with a zika virus should have the right to an abortion even if she believed the child would be born with microcephaly. Ah, little marco. Can i be honest with you guys . Audience yes. Trevor i dont understand how any man thinks that he has the right to dictate to a woman what they should do with their body. cheers and applause i dont understand it. Because men know nothing about what its like to be a woman. We dont. Were dumb bleep when it comes to that. So why do men always get to make laws about Womens Health issues . Its almost like imagine if black people were the only ones who could decide whether white people were allowed to use sunscreen. That wouldnt make sense. White people would be, like, what do black people know about getting sun burnt . Black people are, i know what you sayin, alls im saying is im pro melanin. applause i wish a giant mosquito would bleep rubio and leave him with a zika baby. Well see how much he is believing in those laws. He is glowing, though, nice. Turns out, little marco is just part of a bigger problem. Congress failed to pass a zika funding bill. The white house originally asked for 1. 9 billion for zika prevention and the house passed a 1. 1 billion measure in june but the bill died in the senate among partisan squabbling. Trevor are you serious . The c. D. C. And the white house told congress they need 1. 9 billion to fight zika and then the republicans replied, well, well give you half. This is a disease, not a yard sale. laughter i realize why congress is not so keen on fighting zika because congress is just like mosquitoes themselves bloodsucking parasites no one likes with little legs no, wait. Let me start again. They use buzz words and they okay, wait. Um. Ooh looks like he strained a metaphor there. Definitely had trouble sticking the landing. Noah attempting a satirical comparing between congress and mosquitoes. That whole routine had a high degree of difficulty. Well, not that high. You hate to see. This you know what you might like to see . I got photos of the hot little vacuum cleaner last night. Take a look. Youre discuesing. After the break, desi lydic and the highly anticipated donald trump fat checking event. Stay with us. Excuse me. I think theres a misprint. Oh. Model year end clarence event. Looks right to me. Shouldnt it be clear clearly. It is time to get a great deal and a reward card on this turbocharged jetta. Gotta make room for the 2017 models. It is a clarence event. Why is that so hard for people to understand . It seems clar to me. Clear to me. Ready for a test drive . Whatever you want to call it, dont miss the volkswagen model year end event. Hurry in for a 1,000 volkswagen reward card and 0 apr on a new 2016 jetta. Jamie foxx here for verizon. According to a leading independent test of a hundred and eight top cities in the country, verizon won the most consistently fast speeds in ninety cities. Jamie foxx here for sprint, also, just as fast. Youre not fooling nobody with this. How many cities did sprint win . Four and in fiftyfive cities, sprint was dead last. I feel like were faster. I feel like you should read the chart. announcer vo dont get fooled by cut rate networks. Get the best. And now get up to four free Samsung Galaxy phones, four lines and sixteen gigs for just one fifty. Only on verizon. Out out get get get grrr did you find everything okay, sir . Whaaaaat . At our house, were always down for more. Case in point our handcrafted skydiving chamber. Be hungry for more. Just never be hungry. With premium pepperoni and 100 real cheese. Ding hot pockets isyou run here. You run there, against the clock . Until everything comes to a screeching halt. Tick, tick, tick. Now is the time for a 5hour Energy Protein shot. Twentyone grams of protein, the energy you need for the rest of your day, and one hundred little calories. Its not lunch. Its energy and protein, and a lot faster than fast food. 5hour Energy Protein shots Energy Protein one hundred calories. Allows me to actually operate my guibusiness from everest. 4 i help clients achieve their dreams. Being able to go between having a laptop and having a tablet is really important to me. I couldnt do that with my mac. I love that we as humans can go to the top of the world. Its the durability. The reliability. Its incredible. The daily show now, yesterday, donald trump gave a Major Economic policy speech in detroit. A city he understands fundamentally because it, too, has filed for bankruptcy. After a policy speech filled with promises and lofty claims, its only fitting we turn it over to our own desi lydic in another installment of whats the actual fact. Thanks, trevor. Trumps speech was like a rihanna song. He shouted work work work a bunch of times an that was pretty much all people heard. The details starting with trumps take on what he calls the obamaclinton employment numbers. There are now 94. 3 million americans outside of the labor force. It was 80. 5 million when president obama took office, an increase of 14 Million People. So, lets see, 14 million more people are now outside the workforce, but much of that has nothing to do with unemployment. Its because our older baby boomers are retiring, almost 10,000 retirees every day. So although the statement is true, trump is ignoring the realities of aging, so i give this statement a john travolta. laughter heres another criticism trump had to have the obamaclinton economy. Nearly 12 Million People have been added to the food stamp and these people are growing and its growing so rapidly since president obama took office. Okay, first of all, food stamp rolls did go up, mostly because of the recession which obama in inherited from bush. But trump says the numbers are still growing rapidly while, in reality, the number of people on food stamps has declined in the last three years. So this claim mostly is false. Trump competently says its growing but its all shrinking so this gets one whiskey dick. cheers and applause yeah. Lets move on to trumps economic plans. First, tax reform. Finally, no family will have to pay the death tax. American workers have paid taxes their whole lives, and they should not be taxed again at death. Its just plain wrong, and most people agree with that. applause we will repeal it. Yes, American Workers do pay taxes throughout their careers, and americans can be taxed when they die, but the only folks who actually pay a state tax or death tax, as pay estate tax or death tax are those with estates worth more than 5. 4 million, meaning that that tax has no impact on 99. 8 of americans. So what trump is talking about is technically true, but irrelevant to almost everyone. I give this one coworker talking mon stop about cross fit. applause i dont care how many kettle bell swings your tiny body can do, ronny. I gave birth this year. Thank you. Thank you. applause and finally we, need to look at the most controversial promise in trumps entire economic address. A lower business tax will also end jobkilling corporate inversions and cause trillions in new dollars in wealth to come pouring into our country and, by the way, into titties like right here in detroit. laughter im sorry. Can we just see that one more time . And, by the way, into titties like right here in detroit. laughter okay. Lets not jump to conclusions here. We all want to believe donald trump said titties, but its possible it was an audio glitch. Thankfully, we are a professional, factchecking operation with the most advanced audio analysis tools in the business. So we can determine definitively if donald trump, in fact, did say titties. Lets do a careful analysis. normal speed into titties like right here in detroit. Lets try slowing it down a bit slowly into titties like right here in detroit. laughter im not sure, maybe if slow, then hiphop rhythm into titties like right here in detroit yeah, theyre trying to tell if these titties are real but i can tell you titties like right here in detroit is a hot track. Desi lydic, everyone cheers and break through usa usa lionel its peyton. Its peyton on sunday mornings. peyton you know with directv nfl sunday ticket you can watch your Favorite Team no matter where you live. Like broncos or colts. cashier cool. peyton ah. 18. The old number. Ooh. I have got a coupon for that one. vo get nfl sunday ticket only on directv. And watch live games anywhere. Hey, is this our turn . Honey. Our turn . Yeah, we go left right here. woman vo Great Adventures are still out there. Well find them in our subaru outback. avo love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Get zero percent on select subaru models during the subaru a lot to love event, now through august thirtyfirst. Marcopolo marco. polo marco. polo marco. polo marco. si . Polo marco. polo scusa . Ma io sono marco polo, ma. Marco. playing marco polo with marco polo . Surprising. Ragazzini, io sono marco polo. Si, sono qui. Whats not surprising . How much money amanda and keith saved by switching to geico. Ahhh. Polo. Marco. polo fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. Polo what do you call deliciously smooth, creamy yogurt that comes in over 25 amazing flavors and packs 6 grams of protein per serving . Yoplait original. The family favorite. Yoplait. And im michael howard. We left on our honeymoon in january 2012. It actually evolved into a business. From our blog to video editing. Our technology has to hang tough with us. When youre going to a place without electricity, you need a long battery life. The touch, combined with the screen resolution. A mac doesnt have that. We wanted to help more people get out there and see the world. Once you take that leap, thats where the magic happens. music time after time by iron wine. we all want whats best for our kids. Introducing mcdonalds new chicken mcnuggets. Made with 100 white meat chicken and no artificial colors, flavors and now no artificial preservatives. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. Now tonights guests there the creators and stars of another period on this very network. One, two five, six. Baked alaska baked alaska its christmas its just about my favorite thing you like it soft, i like it hard if you need, use custard baked alaska do it in the back and not in the front. Trevor please welcome Natasha Leggero and Riki Lindhome cheers and applause welcome, ladies. Welcome. Welcome. Wwelcome. Thank you for being here. Welcome. Can i just say, every single time ive seen any clip or episode of another period, you guys look like you are having the most fun in the world. Its amazing its a job. Its crazy. You have a great job, too. Trevor not as much fun. Ours is definitely bert than yours. Trevor i wish i could wear a dress and sing like that. Sometimes the crew people walk by and theyre, like, you guys just want to dress up like princesses. Trevor another period is a show i mean, it efeels like its sort of like the kardashians meets downton abbey. Yeah. Its placed in 1902 in america and were basically these rich socialites trying to get famous. Like the real housewives of newport. Trevor what always fascinates me when i watch is there is no famous back then. There is no tv or nothing. Thats why its hard to become famous. You have to get someone to paint your portrait with your ankles showing. There were basically two with famous women, Harriet Tubman and Eleanor Roosevelt oh, and helen keller. You had to do something really big. But our characters think they should just be famous because. Thats just instinct, people want to be known. Trevor but known for doing something most of the time. No, we want to be known for being famous for knotting. Dont you find that weird, though . Its weird but were pioneers. Trevor what are you famous for . Im famous for being famous. Its like the chicken and the egg. How did you become famous . For being famous. Its a great job, to be honest. Trevor it is. I watch it and the profanity is beautiful, especially in the manner you placed it. Its very classy, tasteful profanity. Many jokes about posterior ramming that is that was a song about trevor anal. You can say anal. I was going to say getting bleep in the ass. Trevor oh, yeah, you can say that as well. Yeah, you can say awful that. Were on you can say all of that. Were on the same network. That was scott joplin coming and we were pitching him our song. Hes like a kanyeesque character. Trevor the kanye of 1902 . Yeah, and hes got a girlfriend kind of in a burqa type thing except with cleavage and he has his cam. You have to watch the show. Trevor im fascinated by youre making this show and there is obviously kanye people that youve invented because there were no kanye types back then you dont know that. Trevor that could make music for themselves and get paid . laughter yeah, and then also but youve also done research. Weve done research. The show takes place in newport, rhode island, and the more research we do, the more fascinating how cyclical everything is. This show 100 years ago, there was no income tax. People were so rich, they were living like rappers. Trevor they were living like rappers tits american version of downton abbey. These people had so much money. I think at one time carnegie had more money than america. Trevor wow. They were billionaires in 1902 because they didnt pay income tax. Once they introduced the income tax in 1912 or 1915, then people were, like, oh, we cant have 65 servants and weve got to move out of these homes. Trevor yet, ironically, thats where weve gotten back to now is these people have found a way not to pay income tax and they have servants again. Whats the craziest thing you discovered when doing research for the show . One thing i didnt realize is female rights. Women were actually not allowed to read collegelevel books because they thought it would shrink their ovaries. Trevor who thought that . Men just said that so women would be afraid to read. Women were afraid to exercise because they said theyd get bicycle face. laughter women thought her face would freeze and stay that way. Trevor which way . Like, you know, on a bicycle trevor how fast are they going on these bicycles . laughter i dont know, they just didnt want them to travel. We read a thing about a woman who didnt feel like moving to chicago with her husband and he had her committed to an insane asylum. Until she agreed. And once she agreed to move, hes, like, okay, you can let her out. Women, do you think this is funny or sad trevor its comedy but at the same time its, like, this is the saddest thing. But then women got to vote and weve come a long way. Everything is equal and its completely better. Trevor i think you guys are rewriting history. You are amazing. Thanks for coming to the show. Thanks for being here. Super funny show, craziest thing youve ever seen on tv. Another period here on Comedy Central wednesdays 10 00 p. M. Natasha leggero and Riki Lindhome cheers and applause cheers and applause hey i like your ride. I just wanted to let you know. You can save a ton by switching to progressive, just like squirrel here. We offer great discounts, like responsible rider, paid in full, and homeowners. Making us number one in motorcycle insurance. Isnt this romantic. It was. Going the distance to save you more. Now, thats progressive. Just when you think you know what a computer is. You see a keyboard that can just, get out of the way. And a screen you can touch. And even write on. When you see a computer that can do all that, it might just make you wonder. Hey, what else can it do . Sweet cinnamonsugar on the outside, crazy on the inside. Crave those crazy squares. An ovenbaked digiorno . Or waiting for delivery . Did you have that beard when we ordered . A hot, freshbaked crust . Or . Did we order extra soggy . Dont settle for delivery. Rise to the occasion. Its not delivery. Its digiorno. Library break shhhhhhhh. Have a break, have a kit kat adios, muchacho. [spraying sniffing] [whip crack] [grumbling] [groaning] and thats how the deodorant commercial ended. [old spice whistle] but thanks to booking. Com to everything turned out perfect. [crying] weird, but perfect. [flute] choose effortless glide from choosside to side. Choose kneeloving, underarmcaring, bikini linebaring. Choose venus swirl. With five contour blades and a flexiball, it pivots with every dip and divot. Choose to smooth. Venus swirl. Trevor that is our show for tonight thank you so much for tune in. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Now here it is. Your moment of zen. We bring you the kitten summer games hosted by the hallmark channel, 90 cat athletes complete in a tumbling and track and field events . No, not really a real track and field event. Look at them. Arent they just nice . Don pardo and how a message from the vicepresident of the united states. Hello large and in charge the president s away, and joe will play ha ha ha ha ha. Now, as many of you know, on thursday the president embarked on an eightday trip to asia. So for the next week, joes runnin things. Before the president left, we talked policy mainly the policy about the oval office and how im not allowed in it

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