Welcome to the daily show im trevor noah coming to live from philadelphia. This is it, ladies and gentlemen. Moments ago Hillary Clinton officially accepted the nomination as president of the United States. This is it. Exciting. She made history as the first zayn person nominated for president this year. Now we will get into the highlights of hillarys speech in a moment. One of the moving moments came earlier from the parents of a muslim army captain who gave his life fighting in iraq. Donald trump, consistently smears the character of muslims. Donald trump, youre asking americans to trust you with their future. Let me ask you, have you even read the United States constitution . [cheers and applause] i will, i will gladly lend you my copy. [cheers and applause] trevor no, no, no. What are you doing . He hates those two things the most, muslims and reading. No. After more speeches and a beautiful katy perry show it was time for hillary first, first. As customary in american politics her daughter came out to introduce her. Our daughter charlotte is nearly two years old. She loves elmo. She loves blue berries. And above all she loves face timing with grandma. [cheers and applause] my mom can be about to walk on stage for a debate or a speech. It just doesnt matter. She will drop everything for a few minutes of blowing kisses and reading chugachuga choo choo. Trevor thats right she will drop everything to be on face time with her grandchild. Russia could be storming the coast. Madam president , russia is advancing. Its getting dangerous. I will tell you what is dangerous. This little face. This little face. Someone needs to launch an attack of kisses on this little face. Chugachugachuga. Chelsea gave a great speech. What was i en endearing as the o mayor rated my morgan freeman. Here is a woman. What does she dream of . When does she feel proud . How many times will she leave her mark and light up the world . Trevor morgan freeman, a perfect choice. Who better to humanize Hillary Clinton then the man that made us fall in love with penguins, people. After katy perry, chelsea clinton, hillary walked out on the stage. I will put it out this. I dont know if i trust a president ial candidate who doesnt inappropriately touch their daughter. [laughing] trevor i dont know, people. Where is the sexual tension . Something is missing. Hillarys speech touched on a lot of themes. First she had to shout out to the man she beta long the way. I want to thank Bernie Sanders. Bernie, your campaign inspired millions of americans. Particularly the young people who threw their hearts and souls into our primary. [ applause ] you put economic and social justice issues front and center, where they belong. And to all of your supporters here and around the country i want you to know i have heard you. Trevor so now shut the hell up, and let me do my speech. Here is 27, enjoy your bus ride back to vermont. Go on. No, that was sweet, though. Really was. One of the first time hillary and bernie have been in the same sentence without people booing. Bernie doesnt smile much. He looked up to the screen and screens have that magic. Bernie is like, im on the screen. Now hillary moves onto her new opponent, donald trump. Hes betting the perils of todays world will blind us to his unlimited promise. He has taken the Republican Party a long way. From morning in america to midnight in america. Trevor wait isnt midnight the cool one . Thats how you know hillary is a hard worker. Shes like we need it to be morning again. Im like its midnight, i just got to the club. By the way, by the way, donald trump hates midnight. Thats when he turns back into a racist pumpkin. [ applause ] trevor its real. Hillary hit trump hard all night. She knows trump cant take it. A man you can bait with a tweet, is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons. Trevor yes, we can all agree. Someone bated by a tweet should not have nuclear weapons. But someone who gets bated by a facebook post, thats understandable. Because facebook is family. My grandmother is on facebook. How do you post that trash in front of big mama i will blow up your country its huge for hillary all night. A mountain of speeches and failed 90s sitcom, it all led to this. So, my friends its with humility, determination, and boundless confidence in americas promise that i accept your nomination for president of the United States [cheers and applause] trevor well that ends that mystery. You know, if ever there was a candidate saying they were accepting the nomination, its Hillary Clinton. She wanted this forever. Every question in her life, i accept the nomination. Hillary, would you like to be president . Yes. Fries with that. Humility and determination i accept your fries. It was amazing, the speech. Honestly, politics aside. This was like watching a rocky movie. We have seen her down and up again. She was fighting through it. This is the triumph. This speech was a culmination based around unit. Activists united in purpose. Singers coming together to share one microphone among 50 of them. If tonight was the dnc world series, then yesterday was the allstar game. All the democratic heavy hitters and tim kaine came together in a mission. In a mission to defeat the racist donald trump. Think about everything you learned as a child. No matter where you were raised. How can there be pleasure in saying, youre fired. Hes trying to tell us he cares about the middle class. Give me a break. Thats a bunch of malarkey. [cheers and applause] trevor wow. Wow. Joe biden losing his cool and dropping the m bomb. And at the same time making the cspan viewers clutch their pearls. Joe, you bad boy. Actually for that joke i wanted to say Pearl Necklace. My writer told me in america a Pearl Necklace in america means you people are disgusting. Thats all i will say. Youre disgusting. I will say, i havent seen joe biden this angry. Its like seeing your grandpa angry for the first time. I told you not to buy me a japanese lawn moor, malarkey joe biden came out with fire. Then tim kaine came out and said some things. Can i be honest with you. I never expected to be here. I was born in minnesota. Grew up in kansas city. My parents here tonight, going strong. I spend a lot of time with republican senators who will tell you how fantastic a senator that Hillary Clinton was. You know who i dont trust. Mmm, i wonder. Donald trump. Trevor yo, yo, can i be real for a second . I heard hillarys vp pick was a white dude but thats a white dude. [ applause ] trevor that dude is white like tim kaine. Tim kaine is like a real life version of black peoples impersonations of white people. That guy is white. He makes white pence look like dmx. Thats how white he is. Hes cute as well. Even though yesterday, tim kaine accepted the vpa. Nomination, everyone in the arena was there for a different reason. Its the easiest place to buy weed in philly. Also to see barack obama give what could be the last big speech of his presidency. Before he took to the stage the dnc played a stirring video of his ups and downs in office. After watching the office you realize how much, more than any other president this nation has ever had, barack obama has touched his face. This is someone who walked into us as faced with multiple crises, each one of them could sink the country. From his first days in office the difficult choices he made as president would be only shape the countrys future but reveal the character of the man. [ applause ] trevor yes the president s had a message for the American People about the mab who had a chance to replace him. President this is not your typically election. Its not just a choice between parties and policies. What we heard in cleveland wasnt particularly republican. It sure wasnt conservative. America is already great. The choice isnt even close. Trevor you see that smile . Thats not joy. Thats the laugh of someone who is about to go insane. [laughing] trevor hes like i have to, i have to help bring the country back from a recession. Oust two wars and after all that youre going to hand it over to cinnamon hitler. Hold me back, hold me back. Im just going to, im going to touch my face. [laughing] trevor i tell you something, this isnt just an american thing. We will miss barack obama. I tell you that now. We will miss barack obama. [ applause ] trevor you know, as good as all of these speeches were, its all a waste. The truth is, none of this gets to donald trump. He always replies with the same thing. Who cares what you think, im a billionaire. Call me when you have a billion dollars last night the democrats did just that by bringing out former new york mayor michael bloomberg. That was geneious. Bloomberg is everything trump wishes he was. Trump has what maybe 4 billion . Bloomberg has 40 billion. Trump has a tv show. Bloomberg has his own network. Trump small hands. Michael bloombergs entire body is tiny. Who better to burn trump then hello billionaire. I built a business. I didnt start with it with a Million Dollar check from my father. Trump says he wants to run the nation, like hes running his business. God help us. Truth be told, the richest thing about donald trump is his hypocrisy. Trevor oh ohhhh god damn, this went from a Convention Speech to a billionaire roast battle. Trump, is that your plane or did my plane take a dump. Your island is so small you dont have a population. Knock knock, who is there. Ya you would answer your own door, you broke ass [beep]. Bloomberg struck him so hard. At the end of the speech he just dropped the gold bar when he was done. Hes like, im out. Billionaires around the world were losing their minds. [ applause ] trevor and of all the speeches we saw this week, this one stood out the most. Michael bloomberg is not a democrat. He ran for mayor as a republican then as a independent. Yet he came to the ndn to warn everyone about donald trump. My friends, if a man with 40 billion is worried about a trump future then maybe the rest of us should be. We will be right bac if palm trees could talk. I bet they would speak spanish. Man, i wish i spoke spanish and theyre off should we tell them there are more . Theyll figure it out, eventually. Jump 50 feet over the rapids and i crash land. Check out my scar. Theres nothing there you didnt jump the creek theres a new neosporin antibiotic that minimizes scars. New neosporin plus pain itch scar its gonna take a bit of work oh oh work [cheers and applause] trevor welcome back to the game show. Welcome back, we are live in philadelphia. Hillary clinton, of course, just accepted the democratic nomination for president. Before she did delegates viewed a short film making a case for her candidacy. They have morgan freeman. We made a hillary film. We dont understand why the dnc turns it down. What does it mean to be the best . Does it mean you run the fastest . Work the hardest . Be the honestest . Is it that dream you cant stop reaching for. Or is the best being the one thing better than whatever else there is. Meet hillary, the best youre going to get. When i heard we were relaunching hillary for 2016, i thought wow. They are really committed to this product. A commitment to success. And success can be more than just how much two people want to buy a product. It be also mean what else is even available to buy . After our sales 2008 launch we went back to the drawing board. After 8 long years we think she is ready. The new hillary ask is the mot table, capable and reliable. Did we mention stable . Hillary is a glass of water in the dessert plt does it have ice and cucumbers in it . No, look do you want the water or not . Point is, people really hike her. Take it from this satisfied customer. Youre likeable enough, hillary. Its not just the operating system has changed. One of the things we have worked hard to get right this time is the e ex tier kwhror packaging. We wanted class and sophistication. Which is why we have her dressed like one of the kings of comedy. [laughing] for the 2016 hillary we have upgrades. Tweaking features and reengineering others. We should reject any agreement like the Trans Pacific partnership. You think new york state should recognize gay marriage . No. No, okay. [booing] i support marriage for lesbian and gay couples. Im a progressive that likes progress. I get accused of being moderate and scepter. Im guilty. That guilty plea is not legally binding. Hillary clinton has no convictions about anything. I think thats honorable for a president ial candidate. To have not gone to prison. When it comes to design features one of the most revolutionary things about hillary is something that has always been there. Hillary is a woman. For over 200 years candidates only had one kind of connector. Historys board is designed differently. She has a redrive. Until now everyone thought the system was undeserve arbl anablo market for this. Even though half the world has vdrives and we came out of a vdrive, you stupid [beep]. She is very hip. You play see i recently launched a snapchat attempt. Im hilling out in cedar rapids. We have to get pokemon to the polls. Hat is off. She caries hot sauce in her bag. You know who does that . Beyonce. The new Hillary Clinton is exactly like beyonce in every way. Surfboards. Ultimately with a popular product, and i dont really care how you define popular, we need consistency and evolution. Some things about hillary will never chang. 66 of americans dont think shes trustworthy. They think youre dishonest. He doesnt trust you. Americans dont think youre honest. How did you get in this mess . Your credibility is being questioned . I ask myself that every day. Shes wise yet incredibly foolish. Shes investigated yet mysterious. A former secretary, yet bad with emails. Most importantly shes not donald trump. Here is hillary herself. I will vote for actor y, not because i think that person is perfect. Its better than the alternative. If you cant get excited be pragmatic and do it anyways. Hill raoerbgs do it anyways. Available for preorder november 8th. Mr. Ingalls, hes not studying over here hes streaming my games. You cant get away with that. Whoo oh, dont worry about it. They cant hear me, im just in your head. announcer vo however you use your data, verizons got good news. No surprise overages. And keep the data you pay for. Now americas best network is also the best value, too. Switch to verizon now and get up to 650 to cover your costs. Only on verizon. To discover what we its learn on the track. Doesnt stay on the track. It just finds more streetlegal form. For a limited time get some of the best offers of the year on our complete line of f sport performance vehicles. At the lexus golden opportunity sales event. This is the pursuit of perfection. 5 truth or dare is back. Welcome. I am the extra crispy colonel. And my extra crispy five dollar fillup is a tasty, real meal for just five dollars. Mmm kfc. Its extra crispy good. Heineken it doesnt do that. Control peoples minds. Awardwinning heineken light is the best light beer youve ever tasted. Thats true. I made you say that. No you didnt. Yes i did. Mmm mmm. Yes i did. You didnt. [cheers and applause] trevor welcome back to the daily show from the dnc. My guest tonight is chief National Correspondent for the New York Times magazine. Please welcome mark leibovich, everyone. [cheers and applause] trevor thank you, so much for being here. Great to be here, trevor. Trevor is this night as momentous for you as hillary . You have covered this so long. More momentous for me then hillary. Trevor im glad you feel that way. No more momentous for hillary. But its exciting. Politics, this is a super bowl like occasion. This was historic. Memorable. Trevor do you think its historic because you think this could be americas last election . Absolutely. Will there be historians after like america ends trevor trump. He will have twitter historians. The question is will be he able to block his tories like he blocks members of the press he doesnt like. Trevor its crazy how he has engulfed the news. Even on hillary ease big night shes addressing trump. She spends less time on policies than trump. Thats the theme of the week. Its america versus trump. I think thats probably intentional. Its been a very, i wouldnt san convention. They have been welcoming to mainstream republicans. They feel its essential to their collision. Specially if trump takes Traditional Democratic voters. Suburban cleveland, philadelphia and denver republicans are ripe for the picking. Trevor you know when you look at the people ripe for the picking. Hillary clinton went through a lot with Bernie Sanders. Do you feel its rhetoric or has her campaign shifted to the left . Will that translate into actual policy if she becomes president . I think it will. Because of this campaign, if shes elected president. She will have the fear of the left in her. She will know he has to work with Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders in the sen. Adam i think thats vital and effective for Bernie Sanders. [ applause ] absolutely. Trevor yes. I think to the degree she had to consolidate that support in this convention, she was pretty effective. I think bernie could of helped her by smiling more. He doesnt smile. Trevor he doesnt smile. It sends a message. Trevor he tried. I never seen bernie smile that much. You know he can smile more. I have seen him smile more. He can be a bit funny. You have had him on . Trevor no. Funny. He can be funny, dry. Trevor bernie is now out of the race and endorsed Hillary Clinton. Does the real journey begin now or is it over . They say most voters have decided. Where does the race go to from here. I think the court ship of bernie and bernie supporters is on going. You dont snap your fingers and let a convention take care of it i think her more effective moments tonight was when she barely dispassionately made an argument against donal donald t. Shes good with the prosecutorial and mocking tone against trump. I think that resonated, as said before, do it anyways. [laughing] there is a big just do it anyways vote. Trevor its a strange election. Thats the tone. Bloomberg came out and said the same thing, for this election. A lot are saying, for this election. Not just elections but this election, do it anyways. Just do it anyways. In cleveland last week i would talk to a lot of republican women. Not so much delegates but staffers i know. You asked who are you voting for. Many would say hillary. You go to philadelphia and talk to reagan democrats and theyre known as leaners. Lean in. I may vote for that trump guy. There is a slicing and dicing of the traditional electorate that makes this unpredictable and hard to assess how the conventions have been ceased. Trevor exciting race. Thank you for being here. Thank you. Revor mike phirman, hey ladies just go back and hit em up style introducing new limearita splash. Oh, when you go then everything goes the refreshing margarita in a bottle. The cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. Then quickly fell back to earth landing on the roof of a dutch colonial. Luckily geico recently helped the residents with homeowners insurance. They were able to get the roof repaired like new. They later sold the cow because they had all become lactose intolerant. Call geico and see how much you could save on homeowners insurance. There has been a quest for sout of this world refreshment. , now the search is over. Cool aquafina. For happy bodies. And see ice age collision course in theaters july 22. [cheers and applause] trevor thats our show for tonight. Thank you, so much. Tomorrow night our final show from philadelphia. Here it is everyone. Your moment of zen
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