It is the Southern Hemisphere so its the opposite. Lurking under rios with thers raw sewage and now what scientists describe as superbacteria, the highest levels of superbacteria on the shores of guanabara bay. Site of the sailing event a month from now. It is a nice sailing area but every time you get some water in your face it feels like there is some alien enemy entering your face. So i keep my nose and my lips closed. laughter . Trevor first of all, what is that music . Does that just play when germans talk . What is that . And also, if you ever wonder how a small country like germany almost took over the entire world t is easy to understand because of this guy. Because the solution to the problem of an alien entering in us, to just stop breathing. You just stop breathing. Thats all you do, but the toxic water is just the tip of the [bleep] iceberg here. There are concerns about infrastructure, the economy, political turmoil, zika and security fears, but dont worry, people, the rio police have it covered. Sorry wait, sorry, Southern Hemisphere. Last week police force greeted visitors at rio airport with an airport reading welcome to hell. The police . The police are telling you the city is like hell . Thats like going to a restaurant and the chef telling you, oh, you are definitely getting food poisoning. You you are gone. At this point just living in rio should be an olympic sport. Things have gotten so bad. Even rio statue is like pizza bitches look, rio, there comes a time when you have to take a step back, see the disaster that is unfolding around you, consider the consequences of this event ending as badly as it looks like its going to. And admit that despite your best intentions, everything has gone horribly wrong. Which brings me to the 2016 president ial race. laughter now over the course of about 12 hours yesterday we saw what a mess this race has become. And also, how lucky the two nominees are. Because what is now clear is that both Hillary Clinton and donald trump are running against the only person who they could possibly beat. laughter so lets start off, lets start off with madame secretary of yahoo. Com. Yesterday fbi director james comey announced that hillary qulin ton would not be prosecuted for her email scandal despite the fact that just about everything she told us about it for the past year has been a lie. For example, last year she said this. I did not email any classified material to anyone on my email. 110 emails in 52 email chains have been determined by the owning agency to contain classified information at the time they were sent or received. Trevor okay, okay, lets thats pretty bad, thats pretty bad. I responded right away, and provided all my emails that could possibly be workrelated. The fbi also discovered several thousand workrelated emails that were not among the group of 30,000 emails returned by secretary clinton. We went through a thorough process to identify all of my work related emails. Lawyers doing the sorting for secretary clinton in 2014 did not individually read the content of all of her emails. I thought it would be easier to carry just one device. She also used numerous, multiple devices. There were no security breaches. It is possible that hostile actors gained access to secretary clintons personal email account. Trevor did hillary trel the truth about anything . The feel like the neck time i hear her say im Hillary Clinton and i approve this message, the fbi director will pop out and be like her real name is philip g mackadoo. Why, hillary, why. Do you understand that . Your lies have besmirched the clinton name, a name sin monday synonymous with inning at the no, thats not the point, thats not the point, the point is thats the point. Hillarys entire campaign has been the idea that she is the responsible candidate, sound judgement, disciplined, dependable. Hillary clinton is basically the volkswagen of candidates. The hish efficient practical choice in the game for years and just like volkswagen turns out there is a whole lot of [bleep] shes been hiding from us. applause come on, hillary you know, in any normal race this would be fatal for a campaign. And so last night, at his own speech, all donald trump had to do was put the final nail in the coffin. All he had to do was focus on hillary. Focus, donald. Saddam hussein was a bad guy, right, he was a bad guy, really bad guy, but you know what he did well . He killed terrorists. He did that so good. They didnt read him the rights. They didnt talk. They were terrorists, it was over. laughter is this like a prank . Are you playing a prank on me . What the [bleep], dude . This was your chance to bury hillary. This is not the time to praise Saddam Hussein. To be honest, i dont know when the time is to praise Saddam Hussein but i do know that this is not the time. Yes, yes, yes, Saddam Hussein killed terrorists. Yes, Saddam Hussein killed terrorists, you know who else he killed . Everyone. If you kill everyone, youre bound to kill some terrorists. Saddam was really really hot on dry cleaners, school teachers, are you going to blame them for what, who is are you. How is one partys president ial candidate praising a mass murderer, people, i dont know, you have to feel bad for the republicans at this point. I bet at the end of every day after paul ryan meets with donald trump he is driving home on the phone like hey, honey, yeah, im coming home, yeah, i think he has learned his lisson this time, no more dumb tweet, crazy speeches, hold on, im getting a text, already, baby, you better start dinner without me, i got to go back. applause and by the way, by the way, this was not a gaffe. Because Donald Trumps been down with saddam for awhile. Last year this is how he talked about saddams hughes of chemical weapons. Saddam hussein throws a little gas, everyone goes crazy. Hes using gas. Trevor is america really considering electing a man who talks about war crimes like hes on an episode of drunk history . You know, Saddam Hussein, he throws a little gas, everybody goes crazy. Oh, hes using gas on the region, oh maybe its just me but i think alarm bells should be going off when a potential leader repeatedly praises not so democratic dictators. Donald trump praising the leadership style of vladimir putin. Putin, i think that he is a strong leader. Hes a powerful leader. Donald trump was actually kind of praising kim jong un. You have to give him credit. He wiped out the uncle, this one, that one, this guy doesnt play games. If we had qaddafi in charge, instead of terrorism all over the place, we see at least they killed terrorists. He retweeted up from el du ci. Mussolini is mussolini, it is a very good quote. You want to be associated with a fascist. No, i want to be associated with interesting quotes. laughter . Trevor you want to be associated with interesting quotes . Oh, donald. You dont want to be president. You want the teenagers instagram account. Thats what you want. So look, america, this is where you are. Grandma nixon or traffic cone soaked in raw sewage. A real sophies choice, really f sophie hated both of her kids. Can i be honest with you guy, can i be honnist with you. Yeah wm. Trevor you can kick me out after i said it i will be honest and say this. Maybe you shouldnt have an election. Into, maybe you shouldnt have an election. Not now. Not now. Because right now, right now america looks like its getting too a marriage that t is going to regrelt. And earning can see this is a bad idea. And i get it, look, you have got everything scheduled. The wedding planned, youve invited everybody over. You have spent an enormous amount of money but im going to be that ass hole friend o who tells you like it is, maybe you need to call it off. Do not go through with this ed withing. Because im telling you, two years from now, youre going to see your ex walking down the street and say man, i didnt realize how good i had it. Well be right back. Ah the freedom to watch your directv with unlimited data from at t. The steady stream of entertainment. Your favorite shows. Streaming on. You can just keep streaming. And streaming. Hello jim. So much streaming, but id really like to go home now. My arms are very tired. Seize the data get our best unlimited plan ever so you can stream and surf all you want with unlimited data from at t. She could be my little frec me but miniaturer sleeping on the sofa till she tackles and i tickle her the whisperer i could be your listener telling me your stories while im showing her her signature, the scribbler trevor welcome back to the daily show. Outside of running for chairman of the Saddam Hussein fan club, donald trump is also running for president. If he becomes president , the first thing hell have to do is assemble his cabinet, actually the first thing will have to do is replace all the pens with tiny pens so his hands look normal in the photos. Thats the first thing he will have to do. applause . Trevor but then he will have to assemble a cabinet, a secretary of defense, secretary of state, homeland security, commerce. But what exactly will trumps cabinet look like. Well, we may know much sooner than we previously thought. He told hugh hewitt he is leaning towards announcing some members of the cabinet before election day. A practice he thought was common until hewitt told him otherwise. I dont think thats that unusual. Thats been done of before, hasnt it, hugh . No, i dont think weve ever had a cabinet member named. Did they wait until after the election and then. Yes. laughter . Trevor i like how done all trump calls in a radio show to both campaign for president and to learn about being president. So the president , hes on the Supreme Court, right . No, donald, the Supreme Court is the judicial branch, remember. Oh yeah, oh yarks, the judicial branch, more commonly known as the senate, now i remember. Trevor choosing a cabinet, is the team they surround themselves with is one of the most crucial decisions a leader makes. Lincoln had his infamous team of rivals, marky mark haded funky bunch, batman had a brightly decorated preteen which, you know, i never really understood. Why would you make robin wear that. It just seems like all the bad guys would focus on the oh my oh, that is heartless, batman. The big question is, who is advice would donald trump take . Who are you consulting with consistently so that you are ready on day one . Im speaking with myself, number one. Because i have a very good brain and i have said a lot of things. My primary consultant is myself. And i have, you know, i have a good instinct. Trevor i have a very good brain. That sounds like something you would only hear from a guy with a bad brain. Have i good brain. Net worth, very much. But consulting himself might actually work for donald trump, because you see, good president s hire advisors who disagree with them, to challenge their thinking. And no one who disagrees with doned a trump more than donald trump. So you ask the question, what would Donald Trumps cabinet be . Well, we think it would look like this. Hello, folks. Hello. Good morning, good morning. So today were going to be discussing. Womens health issues. Go ahead, go ahead. Im im very prochoice. Im prolife. You and i have had something on my mind. New clear prolive raise. I hate prolive raise, i hate new clear more than any. My uncle was a professor at mit. Wouldnt you rather in a circumstances have japan have Nuclear Weapons when north korea has Nuclear Weapons. Next our foreign policy. China. China. Qaddafi in libya is killing thousands of people. Go into libya, knock this guy out, very quickly. I disagree totally. We would be so much better off if qaddafi were in charge right now. I love mexican people. The hispanics love me. I will build a wall. This is a wall that is going to work. I dont know how people make it on 7. 25. An hour. Now with that being said, i would like to see an increase of some magnitude. Wrong, wage toos high. I hate to say t but we have to leave it the way it with is. Were going to build a wall. It is easy sto be president ial. I went to the Wharton School of finance. Im like a really smart person. All he i know is what is on the internet. This is a wall that is a heck of a lot higher than the ceiling are you looking at. China. China. I love china a. I would drop a 25 tax. Listen you mother [bleep] were going to tax you. This guy say phillie dirty word, he should be ashamed and apologize. They lie. But we have our own. No going to be able to china. Build a wall. A total lie. Binge binge. I dont know what i said. Come on, fellas. Quiet. We are going to make America Great again. cheers and applause . Trevor well be right back. [heavy sigh] real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. Real meal for five bucks. [deep breath] finger lickin, finger lickin, finger lickin. Gooooood what muscle pain . L ask what headache . What arthritis pain . What bad wrist . Advil makes pain a distant memory nothing works faster stronger or longer than advil its the worlds 1 choice what pain . Advil. Heineken is served its world famous. Like me. Come here. Look it happens all the time. Antonio banderas its Antonio Banderas from the movies. Enjoyed in 192 countries. Theres more behind the star. Squuuuack, lets feed him lets feto the sharks sharks yay and take all of his gold and take all of his gold ya and hide it from the crew ya. . Squuuuack, theyre all morons anyway i never said that. They all smell bad too. No you all smell wonderful i smell bad if youre a parrot, you repeat things. Its what you do. If you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. Its what you do. Squuuuack, its what you do. Show, my guest tonight is the best selling author whose latest nof sell called i almost forgot about you. Please welcome terry mcmillan. applause welcome to the show. Thank you very much. Trevor its so its almost surreal to meet someone who in a strangely influenced your life at a very young age. I mean i was watching those movies with my mom. I was watching waiting to exhale. I was watching, i did, i grew up tsh. Why. Trevor because i have a single black mother who i was at home with, and i was watching movies based on these stories, on these books that you wrote. I mean you wrote these stories in 1992. Powerful stories about black women in america who had. So you really needed to be concerned about that at your age. Trevor now that sexism and racism no longer exist, is it tough for you is it tough for to you write a book . With that in mind, no. It is easy. Trevor it seems like it came across as. No, no, i im a good liar. Trevor lets talk about the book. Okay. Trevor in your novel t is a really interesting story, a woman who really has everything going for her. She is an optometrist, been to edge cl, making good money and then all of a sudden realizes shes not happy. She sets out to find all the men from her past, all her previous loves. Why do you think it was important for her as a character to go back and complete this journey . Because it is a journey. I think that i dont think shes unhappy. I think shes bored. I think there is a difference. Trevor yes. And she basically wants to reinvent herself to make her life a little more interesting. And i think in the process of doing that, she decides when she finds out something tragic has happened to an eguy that she used to love, and he never knew it, that she decides that it might be worth it to go back and hunt these other ones down. And let them know the impact that they had on her life. Even if she loved them or if she ultimately would liked to have killed them. Trevor i love that. That is the balance, isnt it . Love them or wanted to have killed them. Its an interesting story. I often have the discussion with my friends. I go, do you think in life we sometimes focus on professional success and not spend enough time looking at emotional success, you know, somebody, as you say, she was bored. She was not fulfilled. And yet she had everything going for her. Is this book sort of commenting on that idea . Well, i think sometimes we do what looks good on paper. And in real life, some of that stuff is not as fulfilling as we thought it was going to be. And some of us are afraid to make changes. So i in this case, my character is shes trying very hard to be honest with herself. And when you reach a certain age, a real certain age, you decide that some people, my character decide that its worth taking a risk. Its worth changing lanes. Because you have already been in this lane. So why not, you know, put your blinker on and go over. And step on the accelerator a little bit too. Trevor you have always been a trail blazer. People have compared you, not in your body of work but in terms of inspiration to shonda reims in terms of being a voice that is out there that really blazes a trail for other women of color to go out and write books. I mean the literary world is a world dominated by a certain color, a certain, you know, certain gender as well. Do you think that more can be done to get black women into these roles of telling the story, stories that often become hollywood stories, principle, almost like the roots of the problem . Do you think more can be done and what could be done in these situations . Well, i think that i mean a good story is a good story. And in our case, we happen to be africanamericans or in some cases, africans. I just think that most of us, i will put it this way, when i go into a book store, i dont go in and say gee, im looking for a book by a white writer today. I wonder which one i should choose. And i think that if more people embraced the fact that america is exriesed of every ethnicity you can think of, if we read each others works without taking race into account all the time, because we are technically all americans, and when we go to the movies, you know, i dont i just get im tired of it. I believe in diversity. Believe me. But you know, now it just seems like everything is either black or white and there are a whole lot of ethnic groups in this country besides black people and white people. Uhhuh. But more than anything, i think we just need to be able to tell the truth. And do it with humor. And with and i try to do what i can. But there are a lot of us out here that people just dont know about. I think its good to have you leading the pack then. So thank you. I wouldnt say im leading the pack. Trevor i think you are. Im old but im thank you so much for being here. Thank you. cheers and applause . Trevor i almost forgot about you, it is available now, terry mcmillan, everybody. applause theres your beautiful baby. Any day now [crunch] youre eating doritos . Really . laughter owww give me that screaming [baby crying] [crunch] padvil pm gives you the healingu at nsleep you need, it. Helping you fall asleep and stay asleep so your body can heal as you rest. Advil pm. For a healing nights sleep. The best summer ever just got a lot easier. With pizza huts triple treat box unpack this incredible box at an incredible price of 19. 99. Two medium pizzas, breadsticks, and a chocolatey hersheys cookie. Want smore . Make it a delicious hersheys toasted smores cookie for only a dollar more. Summer fun all in one. The triple treat box. Only at pizza hut. Whos the genius who puts a girl in heels on a subway grate . Miss monroe, eat a snickers. Why . You get a little cranky when youre hungry. Better . Much better. This scene will never make the cut. Itslexus performance iny to streetlegal form. Taking for a limited time get great offers on our complete line of f sport performance vehicles. At the lexus golden opportunity sales event. Thank you so much for tuning in. Join us tomorrow night, now here it is, your moment of zen. You can understand that a basketball camp got the surprise of their lives over the weekend. There are some little warriors, take a look. Selling girl scout cookies. Whats going on, man, how are you captioning sponsored by Comedy Central larry welcome to the nightly show, im larry wilmore. Thanks so much, please have a seat. First off big i love you too, by. I have to say big props to king