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Oh, that son of a bitch did it pool noodles for everyone. Good night from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show thank you so much, everybody im trevor noah. Im excited. Our guest tonight, miss u. S. A. 2016 deshauna barber is here cheers and applause yeah thats right, people miss u. S. A. miss u. S. A. miss u. S. A. audience chanting miss u. S. A. okay, ill work on that. First, breaking news. Euro 2016 soccer tournament is happening now in france and it is bleep getting crazy. Violence among football fans for a Third Straight day in france and english and russian fans who met in the europe 2016 championship clashed again thursday. This is a thugs eye view of violence. A russian hooligan filming his rampage through the streets of marseilles. Trevor i am shocked and disgusted green striped shorts, people this is france. You have to up your riot fashion by the way, russia, do you guys need dash cams on everything . laughter the violence between the russian and british fans has been insane which shows the difference between american and european football. In europe, its the fans that get the concussions, and the british are partly to blame because they have been taunting the russian fans in the most british way possible with pub songs. singing trevor bleep off russia were england and wales bleep russia its not very catchy. I understand, but its not catchy. You need to work on catchy tunes. You need to be like,. Hey, i just met you, this is crazy but bleep off russia laughter we turn to congress, despite the gun violence, they fail to pass laws making it harderred to get guns for bad guys. Chris murphy decided hed had enough yesterday. He staged a marathon speech. A filibuster. Weve got to show a signal to the American Public that we care so deeply about the consequences of inaction that we are at the very least going to stop this process from moving forward until we cant stand any longer. Trevor yes. Yes. applause yes. And he meant it. Murphy and his colleagues filibuster for 15 hours 15 hours of talking, all as dr. Ben carson calls it, ordering lunch. laughter tell me again what size of soda you maintain in this eh establishment. laughter for those of you who dont owe, a filibuster is when a senator talks as long as he can to prevent anything else from getting done. Its tantric legislating. Have you watched the show cops . Its basically when they pull someone over for stealing the car and the perp in the car filibusterrrrrs. The cop says, did you steal this car . He says, well, you know what happened, officer, i was at my friends darnells house and let me tell you about darnell, man. He was saying that he thats a filibuster. It was riveting. People were actually watching cspan on purpose. Not just because theyd fallen down and couldnt reach the remote. And murphy talked and talked and talked and people on twitter were calling him a hero and he was. But you know who the real hero was . That stenographer. applause you think standing for 15 hours is hard . Try doing it with a type writer strapped to your chest can you imagine that poor woman who no one warned and she was just standing there going, oh, really . Really . You couldnt have warned me . Really . Would have been nicely to get a heads up if your opinion planning to talk for 15 oh, some of us have families. You could have warned me to put on my chef currys, at least, yeah, because they are fire laughter what is this filibuster about . Chris murphy said he wouldnt stop until congress could agree on gun control. One to close loopholes to forbid people from buying guns from shows or internet without a gun check. He got help from Elizabeth Warren who tagged in dikembe dik durbin, john cena who tagged in bobby flay. The point is watching these people and their passion was epic. I want to start by thanking my friend chris murphy. Im proud he is forcing us to have this conversation. After all of these mass shootings, Congress Must do something, right . They must respond. Enough enough enough we can ban rambostyle assault weapons. I have said if you need a ak47, ar47 to hunt a deer, you ought to stick to fishing because that is not the weapon of choice of real sportsmen in my state. Trevor oh oh cheers and applause durbin with the burn durbins like, a real hunter doesnt need an Assault Rifle to kill a deer yeah, because you know when dick durbin goes into the woods to kill a deer. He doesnt reach for no ar15, no, too easy. He goes in with nothing but a loin cloth and one of those plastic takeout spoons. Yeah he scoops the deer to death laughter sometimes maybe the deer escapes, but thats school because, later at home when the deer is talking to his deer wife saying, honey, weve got to get out of here there is a mad man running around with a plastic spoon, hes a maniac when the wife turns to him, pulls the mask off, surprises him, its dick durbin checkmate, mother bleep cheers and applause so after 15 hours, democrats forced Senate Republicans to agree to finally bring these bills to the floor. You know what hat means, people they got the vote yes they got the vote cheers and applause humming happy tune i apologize for that shabby display. We didnt actually have a budget allocated for the senate actually agreeing on something. So we didnt have time to buy balloons. So, now, the republicans have agreed, right . Lets find out the specifics of some of what they will actually be voting only on. The first would block those on terrorist watch list force buying a gun. The second would require background checks for guns sold at gun shows and online retailers. Trevor i understand this but still find it weird you can buy a gun on the internet. I cant even watch porn without lying about my age. You have two bills, the first to stop anyone observe the terror watch list from buying a gun. Which shouldnt even have to be up for discussions the discussion, should we let terrorists get guns . Im going to say no yes no, no, no. It seems obvious. The truth is, the terror watch list should be up for discussion. Its not as formal as it sounds. You realize its a secret list anyone could be put on at anytime. The terror watch list is kind of like the list girls controlled in high school to determine who was cool or not. I know a secret terror list that limits your rights, seems acceptable right now because its in this guys control. In five months, god forbid, that list could be in the tiny, tiny hands of bronze stalin. So you have to think about it. applause no, democrats arent alone in proposing a law to limit access to guns for people on the terror watch list. The republicans have their own version. Except it doesnt ban people on the list from getting a gun. It gives the f. B. I. 72 hours to see if they can find a reason to stop the gun sale. Experts say 72 hours is not enough time to find probable cause. Both of these, th the terror wah list bills are problematic. In their own way. But the other bill that senator murphy won a vote on is more promises because it would close the loophole that allows people to buy guns from gun shows and over the internet without a background check, and the senate tried to get universal background checks off to sandy hook but republicans blocked it. Now thanks to murphys filibuster and his bullet proof bladder maybe they can have a chance to do some things. Congress has been blocked for a long time and maybe these bills arent the greatest. One of the experts we talked to used the phrase a piece of crap. But like anybody with constipation will tell you, sometimes passing a little bleep is exactly what you need. Well be right back well be right back introducing pizza huts first 5 flavor menu. Just five bucks each when you order two or more. Say yes to a medium one topping pizza. Yes to wingstreet wings. Yes to new stuffed garlic knots. And much more. Its easy to say yes to our first ever 5 flavor menu. Only at pizza hut. Says a lot about who you are. The beer you bring if thats the case, this beer says you like drinking beer. Greattasting, lessfilling beer. Spelled different because its brewed different. She could be my little frec me but miniaturer sleeping on the sofa till she tackles and i tickle her the whisperer i could be your listener telling me your stories while im showing her her signature, the scribbler its here, but its going by fast. The opportunity of the year is back the mercedesbenz summer event. Get to your dealer today for incredible onceaseason offers, and start firing up those grilles. Lease the e350 for 499 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. The daily show its time for us to talk about australia. You know how youve always wanted to go to see all the unique wildlife . The good news, you can stop worrying about it because thanks to humans there is a lot less to see. A story we cover in our news segment law order saavu special australian animal victims unit. To our first victim for the First Time Ever a mammal species appears to have been wiped out, made extinct by humaninduced climate change. This poor little rat, i suppose is what it is, is no more. Trevor she was a little flippant there. One minute were sad and then shes, like, this poor little rat, i suppose. Youre a research lady but it really is a sobering milestone. The first animal to go extinct from climate change. Although are you sure Global Warming that killed it and not cholesterol . Huh . Yeah . Maybe you should have considered being a salad rat. Yeah, yeah. Our second victim is actually a newlydiscovered species, a marsupial thats endangered, though we can agree its going out in style. Theyre cute, cuddly and threatened with extension. The reasons why will shock you. Scientists say these newly discovered marsupials mate with such intensity it kills the males, cutting their population in half. Males mate for up to 14 hours a day. Trevor yes, yes, they mate 14 hours a day. laughter lets be blunt, people, these little guys are bleep themselves to death applause this is why its so important to have hobbies this whole tragedy could have been avoided if someone had just taught them needlepoint thats all our logging is threatening their habitats and theyre dying because they have no place to live and all they want to do is bone. Which means the next species to go extinct is bass players. And human stress on Wildlife Habitat can lead to unintended consz queens. Just ask a koala. The habitat doesnt work because populations become inbred and leads to other problems. Nielsen means a stunning and slightly uncomfortable reality threatening koalas. Chlamydia, a sexuallytransmitted disease is trevor ah. Koala chlamydia what a sweet disease oh, he gave you koala chlamydia . You better keep him, girl australian officials are using s. T. D. S against Invasive Species like carp. Estimated a staged release of a carp herpes virus will kill at least 70 of the pest fish in what the federal government has dubbed a carpageddon. Trevor carpageddon . Theyre planning to kill the fish with herpes this really doesnt sound like a good idea. Its like the movie where a scientist has a brilliant idea but creates supersharks that fly and gives you genital warts or something. laughter australias plan is to give the carp herpes. Who has to bleep a fish . applause ah, jerry, word around the office. Well, theres no way to delicately say this paula in accounting said you had a certain, uh, condition and, uh, well, uh, heres a carp and, uh, and a c. D. And well leave you two alone for a bit. laughter this carp invasion may sound like a small problem but its got a lot of australians in government worked up. We are disgusted with these mudsucking creatures we dont have to deal with the caaaaarp weve got to get rid of the caaaaarp trevor okay, duffed dont get angry what, did your mom cheat on your dad with a caaaaarp or something . If she did, she probably has herpes. I will say, look how much fun australian legislators are having. You know what they have . Gun control. Think of all the time they dont spend arguing about guns that they can devote deciding which s. T. D. S to give which fish. And if america gets gun control problems under control, a decade from now you can give carp fullblown aids thats a dream baby if palm trees could talk. I bet they would speak spanish. Man, i wish i spoke spanish the products in our bath time routine, Work Together like a team. A combination designed to help improve your babys skin barrier while you stimulate his senses. Johnsons®. So much more™ its here, but its going by fast. The opportunity of the year is back the mercedesbenz summer event. Get to your dealer today for incredible onceaseason offers, and start firing up those grilles. Lease the cla250 for 299 a month at your local mercedesbenz dealer. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Ifor all the wrong reasons. Gical you may be muddling through allergies. Try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. And zyrtec® is different than claritin®. Because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. Try zyrtec®. Muddle no more®. Introducing pizza huts first 5 flavor menu. Just five bucks each when you order two or more. Say yes to a medium one topping pizza. Yes to wingstreet wings. Yes to new stuffed garlic knots. And much more. Its easy to say yes to our first ever 5 flavor menu. Only at pizza hut. cheers and applause trevor welcome back tonights guest is the newlycrowned miss u. S. A. Trevor please welcome deshauna barber cheers and applause wow trevor welcome to the show and congratulations miss u. S. A. Thank you trevor what an amazing title look at the sash yeah, isnt it pretty its got diamonds, you know applause trevor it is amazing can i ask you a question . When you were standing on that stage, is there a moment where you win and go, is this real . Im still trying to register it now. Trevor are you still waiting for steve harvey to come out . Im waiting for him to say, you know what . I made a mistake. Waiting on it. Trevor they didnt make a mistake. Congratulations. Thank you trevor your title is miss u. S. A. You obviously dreamt about this as a child because you were in a lot of beauty pageants growing up. In fact, you were winning many beauty pageants growing up. How do you get into that as a kid . How do you just go, yeah, im hot. laughter actually, i lost a lot. I started competing when i was 19 and i lost every single one until last year. Trevor you lost every single competition . Every single one in the Miss Universe system, yes, i lost every single one. Trevor so this is basically a rocky story, then. Yeah, you know trevor yeah i mean, you just came up i came up im miss u. S. A. Now. I came up the steps, stopped at d. C. , got miss u. S. A. , trying to end at universe. Trevor thats a tough competition, Miss Universe. Is it true you have to look out for the back stabbing . Ive heard of putting sticky things in your shoe so that if you walk you fall. And you hear about thenary in the shampoo and the bleach on the dress. But it didnt happen, surprisingly. Trevor to you. laughter you were also the first miss u. S. A. Actively serving in the military. Yeah, maybe they were scared of me. cheers and applause i think they were a little bit scared. Trevor i think they were more than a little bit scared. Like, i dont know, she may have something hidden up her sleeve. Lets not mess with her. Shes a soldier. Thats very possible. Trevor you are a soldier. I am. Trevor you talk about how you had to go through training, you had to fight men in combat training, for instance, some of the biggest guys. What are you thinking when that is happening . I think they try to test you because youre smaller, so they say, hey, barbara, take the 200pound guy and see how it goes. A lot of the techniques they teach you actually does work. So i had him in a choke hold for a while. I felt pretty powerful after that, so it works out. applause trevor i just love that idea that you are just choking a 200pound man. Yeah trevor like with the sash, choking the man. laughter you have a platform now, though. I do. Trevor and a platform you are very actively using. You speaking out. I mean, its a beautiful opportunity for you because youre in the military and you are being very vocal and using your miss u. S. A. To speak about veterans, speaking about mental health, ptsd. Can you tell us about that . Im so excited to be miss u. S. A. And not only to represent the soldiers in the u. S. Army reserves but to talk about ptsd care for our soldiers, making sure they have the services they need when they return from deployment. I have a best friend deployed to afghanistan now and i want her to have all the resources she needs when she returns because in the military youre taught to be tough and be able to deal with things but that can be a little difficult when youre battling those internal battles and youre having to deal with the things you dealt with in combat. And its pretty big in terms of how its impacting our country. 22 veterans commit suicide each day and i hope one day that number goes to zero. Trevor with your help, it probably will. Thank you so much for being here. And congratulations once again. Deshauna barber, miss u. S. A. well be right back cheers and applause my advice for looking younger longer . Get your beauty sleep and use new aveeno® absolutely ageless® night cream with active naturals® blackberry complex. Younger looking skin can start today. New absolutely ageless® from aveeno®. If palm trees could talk. I bet they would speak spanish. Man, i wish i spoke spanish ifor all the wrong reasons. Gical you may be muddling through allergies. Try zyrtec® for powerful allergy relief. And zyrtec® is different than claritin®. Because it starts working faster on the first day you take it. Try zyrtec®. Muddle no more®. Introducing pizza huts first 5 flavor menu. Just five bucks each when you order two or more. Say yes to a medium one topping pizza. Yes to wingstreet wings. Yes to new stuffed garlic knots. And much more. Its easy to say yes to our first ever 5 flavor menu. Only at pizza hut. Trevor thank you so much for tuning in and joining us here it is, your moment of zen. Last thing, have you ever seen the movie caddy shack . What . Caddy shack, the movie . I dont know. I dont know. The part about the dalai lama . Have you played golf . Captioning sponsored by comedy central

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